Thetransyone: Altostrata, you saved my life

[Thetransyone]

Though I am just now in the past year or so seeing some smooth sailing in my life, the time when this site most benefitted me was when I was at my worst - my first year of college, when I decided to retake my antidepressant after many years off it and experienced a severe nervous system shock that seemed to never go away. What you offered most of all was hope: a community in which people could share their recovery with each other, giving advice and offering examples of how to live. I won't go into detail about the kind of zaps, buzzes, dissociations and anxieties I experienced during my period of withdrawal: you've surely heard enough of those stories. When it comes to my condition, I will leave it at: that I am so thankful for my present whenever I look back on my past and see where I've come and how much better I've gotten.

 

The most important thing you offered was a way for people to take control back into their lives when negligent medical practice had seemed to take it away. I to this day still follow all the rules you set out about introducing new drugs: always one at a time, always waiting to see what effects it has, always starting at a low dose and feeling it out. You taught me not to fear drugs. I was put on Zoloft from a young age, and against my will - so the rest of my life it sometimes felt like I had no control over what drugs did to my body. The safety precautions you advocated helped me take back ownership and learn to evaluate my self and look after my own health. Most of all, the stories of recovery you shared and curated helped put a blanket of hope on something otherwise painful, making me feel truly grateful for how far I'd come even on my most horrible days. 

 

As you report from others who are far in recovery, Alto, I am no longer as sensitive as I used to be. It used to be that, after I experienced my nervous system shock from Zoloft, I could not even tolerate vitamins. What you taught me was not to despair, but to learn and grow. I began doing as many on this site report very successfully - taking control of their health and using carefully dosed magnesium. A few other mild remedies gave me comfort along the way as well, the biggest probably being chamomile and lavender. But what stands out to me is not merely the benefit they gave, which was at times very modest, but the fear they helped eliminate. By teaching us to learn and grow in our health, Alto, you taught us to stand in the face of drugs and have no fear. And that's something that will never leave me even when I am very old, and which I owe entirely to you without exception. 

 

I still have a bit of hesitation around drugs that I can tolerate. While alcohol doesn't cause many problems for me anymore, I still have some hesitation before that glass of wine with dinner. I do think this feeling of hesitation will stay with me for much longer, but I do not think it is a bad thing. It is me reminding myself to be careful, and to always remember that care and concern that was necessary to get me through my darkest days and push me to my best ones. 

 

While I wasn't well enough to ever type and participate during my toughest years, I used to come here regularly for advice. I haven't visited in quite a while. It's a happy thing certainly, because it means I'm moving forward. But I do feel that I owe something to this community that has given so much to me. And, I still sometimes think about the others who are going through what I did, and how much I now empathize with their situation. I hope they have it better than I did - I hope we can make progress to making anti-depressant withdrawal a recognized problem that can be quickly diagnosed and treated. I hope they don't have to face the stigma I did, of thinking that I was fighting against so many defenders of the status quo. I know we together can make change, and so I do think that these others will really have something to look forward to.

 

So, I offer this post as a kind of thanks. I love what you do here and couldn't be happier that you're still carrying on with it. 

 

 

Edited January 27, 2021 by manymoretodays
name to title, moved from success stories, to Introductions for now(mmt)

[manymoretodays]

Hi the transyone,

And welcome aboard.

 

And what a nice tribute and thankyou.

 

I wasn't quite sure where to put your post, and so put it here in the Introductions section for now.

And then I wasn't quite clear on if you have been able to maintain off drug(s) or not.

 

Would you please summarize your withdrawal history in your signature

and this is a bit different from what you filled out to register here

it's the section you'll see below each members post, and helps to summarize, and keep things in context wherever you might post

 

And welcome.  I'd love to hear more about you.  And just love your grace filled post too.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

[Altostrata]

Oh my goodness, thanks so much! How are you feeling now?