Smartsauce: Quitting antidepressants and antipsychotics, desperate and hopeless

[SufferingCelexa]

I withdrew from Celexa a year ago.  I had to quit because I was having more and more suicidal thoughts.  It was hell.  I had the same temptations to go on another drug the first few months.  I was worried about any crazy side effects and having to go through the withdrawals again from another drug.  After 3 months of withdrawals, I ended up reinstating 1 mg of Celexa.  I don't know if it helped but that's what I did in liquid form and then tapered off that.

 

I have anhedonia too.  I finally started working part-time 6 months ago.  I have no interest in talking or socializing at work.  People don't like me but I don't care.  I come home and watch sports, tv, play music or whatever.  I don't want to be around anyone.  Taking one college course online but it's rough.  I just keep trying.  Don't want to give up.  Everyone keeps saying it will get better so I have to believe that.  I don't play video games much anymore either like I used to.  I used to like to play basketball but it's boring all alone.  It's hard to be around old friends because they keep asking why I'm so quiet now.  So I just stay alone in my room too.  Yup, it's boring.

[Smartsauce]

3 hours ago, SufferingCelexa said:

I withdrew from Celexa a year ago.  I had to quit because I was having more and more suicidal thoughts.  It was hell.  I had the same temptations to go on another drug the first few months.  I was worried about any crazy side effects and having to go through the withdrawals again from another drug.  After 3 months of withdrawals, I ended up reinstating 1 mg of Celexa.  I don't know if it helped but that's what I did in liquid form and then tapered off that.

 

I have anhedonia too.  I finally started working part-time 6 months ago.  I have no interest in talking or socializing at work.  People don't like me but I don't care.  I come home and watch sports, tv, play music or whatever.  I don't want to be around anyone.  Taking one college course online but it's rough.  I just keep trying.  Don't want to give up.  Everyone keeps saying it will get better so I have to believe that.  I don't play video games much anymore either like I used to.  I used to like to play basketball but it's boring all alone.  It's hard to be around old friends because they keep asking why I'm so quiet now.  So I just stay alone in my room too.  Yup, it's boring.

Oh I feel with you very much with the quiet part altough for me its more mentally than reality, I still talk a decent amount but I always think Im too quiet or dont have enough to talk about. And yes this is a reason why u would avoid meeting up with friends and thats just a shame really but I get it. Is it because

of taking Celexa a year ago that you became much more quiet? I also worked for 1 year and a half on Effexor and antipsychotic and I just had days that passed that I didnt talk to anyone at work at it made me feel very unpleasant. It made me feel like I didnt belong or I was different or not good enough. Good for you that you are tougher than me and u simply dont care what others think of you. Altough would you wish you'd become more talkaktive again? I bet you would right? Maybe it will come back, how long has it been like this?

 

Much greetings, take care

[SufferingCelexa]

@Smartsauce

I was on Celexa for 4 years and was up to 40 mg.  I think that was too high a dose.  Then I had a fast taper one year ago from 40 mg to 0 in 3 weeks.  That was the doctor's instructions.  I see that was bad advice now.  It's been 1 year since withdrawal from Celexa.  At some point, while still on the medication I started to isolate and lose interest in things.  I lacked motivation and direction but I was never this quiet until I went through withdrawals.  Your lucky you still talk a little, I wish I could.  Yes, I want to feel normal again.  Right now, it's annoying for me to be around happy people because I'm not happy.  And my friends think I can just snap out of it but I can't.  I don't want to scare you to talk about how long I have felt this way.  The first 6 months of withdrawals I couldn't do anything.  Now I can go to work even though I don't want to be around people and I hate my job.

 

Have you gotten advice from a moderator here?  The one tip someone gave me was to type @ in front of someone's name to message them directly.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

On 4/4/2021 at 12:38 AM, Smartsauce said:

Anyone else have had that their passion vanished? Several times I quit antidepressants and everytime I weaned off them I felt a sudden disinterest in my favorite hobby (gaming).

It used to be the first thing I did when id wake up and now I have to force myself to play a game and I dont enjoy it as much.

It feels like my life is grayer now and less lifely. Because all things of entertainment kind of bore me and are not so enjoyable anymore. And I cant laugh as much anymore, sometimes I just cant laugh at all even when something funny happens.

 

Iv quit my antidepressants since December 2020 but this is how my life is now and Im kinda hopeless and I think I ll try to be on anti depressants again to see if things can improve again. Cause my psychologist says Im depressed so maybe I do need those pills.

 

What do you guys think? Do you think I should NOT take those pills for any reasons? I just want a better life again. I really miss my old life from a year ago where I still had some interest in my hobby.

 

This is quite a common experience when people stop taking their antidepressants too quickly.  It is a withdrawal symptom and will gradually improve as your brain regains homeostasis. 

[Smartsauce]

On 4/7/2021 at 11:55 AM, SufferingCelexa said:

@Smartsauce

I was on Celexa for 4 years and was up to 40 mg.  I think that was too high a dose.  Then I had a fast taper one year ago from 40 mg to 0 in 3 weeks.  That was the doctor's instructions.  I see that was bad advice now.  It's been 1 year since withdrawal from Celexa.  At some point, while still on the medication I started to isolate and lose interest in things.  I lacked motivation and direction but I was never this quiet until I went through withdrawals.  Your lucky you still talk a little, I wish I could.  Yes, I want to feel normal again.  Right now, it's annoying for me to be around happy people because I'm not happy.  And my friends think I can just snap out of it but I can't.  I don't want to scare you to talk about how long I have felt this way.  The first 6 months of withdrawals I couldn't do anything.  Now I can go to work even though I don't want to be around people and I hate my job.

 

Have you gotten advice from a moderator here?  The one tip someone gave me was to type @ in front of someone's name to message them directly.

 

 

Im very sorry for you, i hope you regain some of your lost abilities like talking so you can fit in again with people. Im sorry u feel unhappy, i experience it quite often aswel and its not fun. You think in the future things will still improve and go back to normal? Atleast this is what i hope will happen to us. Good luck

[Smartsauce]

On 4/7/2021 at 12:29 PM, ChessieCat said:

 

This is quite a common experience when people stop taking their antidepressants too quickly.  It is a withdrawal symptom and will gradually improve as your brain regains homeostasis. 

So are you saying I shouldnt panick and go back on antidepressants to counter it? Because this is what im planning to do because im a bit hopeless. Would i regain full interest like i used to if i just wait it out a few more months? This would be hopeful if its the case but i dont know, please let me know. Thanks

ps. I did indeed taper off really fast, like in 1 month time after 3 years of using the antidepressant, i think thats hasty

[Smartsauce]

Does anyone have more information about this homeostasis, is this so important to fully whole again? Like how long would it take me to be

balanced again etc? Its been 3 months since i tapered off, do i need to wait additional months for it to be good again? Will I feel more like before again and not so utterly bored to death? Id be so happy if I regain my interests

[SufferingCelexa]

25 minutes ago, Smartsauce said:

Im very sorry for you, i hope you regain some of your lost abilities like talking so you can fit in again with people. Im sorry u feel unhappy, i experience it quite often aswel and its not fun. You think in the future things will still improve and go back to normal? Atleast this is what i hope will happen to us. Good luck

Yes, I'm hoping for things to improve and return to normal too.  It is really embarrassing to be around people. I know I'm not acting normal but I can't control it.  I lost my memory as well and that makes it hard to do college work.  This really sucks.

[Smartsauce]

Could things in the future improve for me because of homeostasis? The lack of joy and laughter i experience, my anhedonic orgasms, my 16 hour sleep rotations a day, my lack of motivation to do things.

Could they all improve in the months to come? Im really thinking that antidepressants may be poison to some of us if not all, but sometimes i feel hopeless and i think antidepressants may be the solution.

Anyone got some hopeful message for me?

[Willowtree]

Hi Smartsauce, how are you now? I'm going through the same thing, I'm coming off abilify injections, it's been 4 months I hope I only have 2 months to go. I felt all the same things on the drug and still after 4 months. Emptiness, apathy, anhedonia, loss of joy. Can't keep fit anymore. Its really hard especially when it feels like this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I've read of other people recovering some in 6 months most in 12 months. It's such a hard thing to go through.

[Smartsauce]

On 4/23/2021 at 6:31 AM, Willowtree said:

Hi Smartsauce, how are you now? I'm going through the same thing, I'm coming off abilify injections, it's been 4 months I hope I only have 2 months to go. I felt all the same things on the drug and still after 4 months. Emptiness, apathy, anhedonia, loss of joy. Can't keep fit anymore. Its really hard especially when it feels like this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I've read of other people recovering some in 6 months most in 12 months. It's such a hard thing to go through.

Its already been about 6 months from me, I have improved for sure but im nowhere to where i used to be. Im bored alot, goal less alot. I still dont find the pleasure in life like i used to, sometimes i get so hopeless that i dont know why i am still here. But im gonna keep going for a few more months to see if natural healing occurs, and if not ill start trying out different meds to get something of my life back

 

[Willowtree]

Hope we don't have too long to go.

[SufferingCelexa]

I hope so too.

[saeed]

On 4/26/2021 at 6:18 PM, Smartsauce said:

Its already been about 6 months from me, I have improved for sure but im nowhere to where i used to be. Im bored alot, goal less alot. I still dont find the pleasure in life like i used to, sometimes i get so hopeless that i dont know why i am still here. But im gonna keep going for a few more months to see if natural healing occurs, and if not ill start trying out different meds to get something of my life back

 

Hi Smartsauce,

 

how are you doing these days ?! 
hope you’re doing well.

 

thanks,