MilitzaV: dual withdrawal

[MilitzaV]

What’s the best way to taper from klonopin ( .5x2) and also vyvanse (50) ? I suffer severe depressive bouts so stopping the vyvanse scares me, but I want off everything. Thanks!

 

Edited January 31, 2021 by manymoretodays
Mispell, moved from SSforum, name to title, tags

[MilitzaV]

I have a pretty typical story. My life has been rough-especially the past few years. Many poor decisions, emotional outbursts, aggression and deeeeeeep depression. I lost about everything--Job, home, friends & family. I thought I had been doing well not 'abusing' meds. I am now trying to begin to taper Klonopin and Vyvanse. I have reduced klonopin and quit other meds in the past 2 years, not fully knowing what I was doing nor did I realize my symptoms were from these reductions and D/C's. I have been advised, on another site, to get off the vyvanse first. I would but I have concerns-and here they are: I suffer extreme bouts of depression-I get very, very low. Very dark. I do not want to just quit Vyvanse and be on klonopin. I fear I may not do a thing-and I have kids to take care of-as a single parent-and I'm already old for being in this position! The other is my Dr will not prescribe the klonopin forever. I think he will another few months- maybe 6? 

*I take 50 mg Vyvanse in the am; a .5 klonopin in the afternoon and another .5 k at night. I occasionally take a baclofen. I also drink, and I've cut back to0-1 a day as I see how horrendous it is-I am a complete rage and crying mess. 

* I also, on a positive note, have faith in myself. I am seeking help as i tend to do everything alone. I am living in a nice, sunny climate until early summer-or longer-and am looking at this as a retreat to include a complete self care venture/lifestyle change.
Any feedback on tapering both sumultaneously? I figured I would take some vyvnase out and weight it, maybe do a small reduction and the same with klonopin. I thought perhaps 5-10 % Vyvase reduction a month or two and 2% klonopin reduction and just take my time. Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing.

[Shep]

Hello, MilitzaV.

 

Please note I merged your second introduction thread with this one. Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and to ask questions. 

 

On 1/30/2021 at 10:30 PM, MilitzaV said:

What’s the best way to taper from klonopin ( .5x2) and also vyvanse (50) ?

 

Please have a careful read of at least the first post in this thread:

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

The concept of "brakes and accelerators" is very important, as preserving sleep is going to be key. 

 

You'll likely want to tape the vyvanse first, as it acts as an accelerator. 

 

Tips for tapering off Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine dimesylate)

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

On 1/31/2021 at 6:55 PM, MilitzaV said:

I also drink, and I've cut back to0-1 a day as I see how horrendous it is-I am a complete rage and crying mess. 

 

Please note that alcohol affects the same GABA receptors as benzos, such as Klonopin, do. You'll need to stop drinking completely in order to have a success taper. We see many people set themselves back due to alcohol. So please do as much self-care as you can and develop non-drug coping methods of getting through the days and nights of withdrawal. These threads will help:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Neuro emotions

 

Toxic Antidepressants - neuro emotions

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

On 1/31/2021 at 6:55 PM, MilitzaV said:

Any feedback on tapering both sumultaneously?

 

We only recommend doing this if you really know what you're doing. The fact that you're drinking and adding in periodic Baclofen is a sign that you're not ready to do this type of multi-faceted taper. Please see:

 

Taper more than one drug at a time?

 

You may be able to do this later on, but I wouldn't recommend it right away. Please do some research and set up a game plan that will set yourself up for success. 

 

How often have you been using Baclofen? How much are you taking? When did you start taking it (month and year)?

Edited May 29, 2021 by Shep
updated with new username

[MilitzaV]

I was prescribed Tzinidine, Baclofen, and narcotics after a vehicle accident in December 2019 in which I broke my tailbone, sternum and right arm. I remember telling my doctor I could not tolerate oxy cotin and he prescribed Tylenol 3 and Tramadol. I never took any of it as I have an addiction history and they really do nothing for me at this point. They all got destroyed and I started having back spasms and was prescribed Baclofen again. I have been taking it since December 2020 after a fall re-injured my spine. I feel I could do without it. As for the alcohol I am struggling. I do not drink much but I drink almost daily. * It is 10 mg Baclofen

 

I love the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

[Shep]

On 2/1/2021 at 9:32 PM, MilitzaV said:

As for the alcohol I am struggling. I do not drink much but I drink almost daily.

 

There's a success story over on Benzo Buddies by someone who drank one glass of wine per day throughout her taper and went onto heal. 

 

More Evidence: We all heal! Ready to live again after 21 months.

 

My theory on the "why" of this is simple - she kept her "dose" of alcohol the same (except a brief period where she mentioned stopping it to see if she'd heal faster and then when that didn't help, went back to one glass of wine per day). 

 

So if you're able to keep your daily "dose" of alcohol the same, you may be okay, unless, of course, it's an excessive amount. That's not healthy even for those not going through withdrawal. 

 

However, if you think you're going to increase your drinking if you get withdrawal symptoms, I would deal with that before trying to come off these drugs. If you're varying the amount of alcohol you're drinking, it's going to mask withdrawal symptoms at first and then likely lead to kindling. The kindling aspect is very concerning. Please see:

 

Benzo info.com - Kindling

 

 

Did you have any addictive behavior prior to going on a psychiatric drug? Which came first - the psychiatric drugs are the cravings for alcohol / other kinds of drugs? 

 

The reason I ask is because there's some evidence that psychiatric drugs can lead to people craving recreational or other drugs they never had an interest in before. 

 

On 2/1/2021 at 9:32 PM, MilitzaV said:

I have been taking it since December 2020 after a fall re-injured my spine.

 

How close to recovery are you for this injury? Is the Baclofen temporary for this injury? Are you able to do any form of physical therapy to aid in your recovery? 

 

On 2/1/2021 at 9:32 PM, MilitzaV said:

I love the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

 

It's a great read. The author survived a number of rounds of electroshock. The fact he was able to write such a groundbreaking book is inspiring. 

Edited May 29, 2021 by Shep
updated with new username

[MilitzaV]

How often have you been using Baclofen? How much are you taking? When did you start taking it (month and year)?

 

i was taking the Baclofen 2-3 times daily at the end of December 2019-april or May 2020. I stopped taking it and I think I was having nightmares and it suddenly wound me up. I did not suffer withdrawal from stopping. Unless I did and did not know what was going on-I've been pretty messed up in my head for so long. I just started taking the baclofen again in december, quit, and resumed a few weeks ago. Over the past 2 days I cut it in half and feel I could stop it easily. 10 mg-now 5.

 

 

"There's a success story over on Benzo Buddies by someone who drank one glass of wine per day throughout her taper and went onto heal. 

 

More Evidence: We all heal! Ready to live again after 21 months."

 

this is cool- I read this. It is funny because I actually contacted this author last month. So, I do suppose I have found some hope.

 

Did you have any addictive behavior prior to going on a psychiatric drug? Which came first - the psychiatric drugs are the cravings for alcohol / other kinds of drugs?  I was a heroin addict in the 90's. In '99 I went to rehab for several months and to a workhouse (prison halfway house for a year) and have never done it again.  I wonder now if I have been "kindling" for many years. I started drinking daily after a bad accident and traumatic event about 5 years ago. Actually it was a year after that accident--many meds later. I have managed up to 4 months of continuous abstinence and this is what I need ( abstinence).  I feel I am dying-or will die-if I do not make these changes now. As much as that appeals to me I cannot go out like that. I am the world to my kids, and I am all they have. So I am now 3 days abstinent. I think the psychiatric drugs caused my cravings for alcohol. That is when my life started to fall apart-I didn't know what tolerance withdrawal or any of this was back when I realized the cravings were stronger and stronger. I developed a desire to take my Klonopin washed down with alcohol and I began heavy marijuana edible use as well. I was a mess.

 

How close to recovery are you for this injury? Is the Baclofen temporary for this injury? Are you able to do any form of physical therapy to aid in your recovery? 

I have had many accidents. This last one was painful but I am healed. I have to do yoga and stretching and i did not have a home until January 28th, 2021, so I am now doing these along with the Tibetan rites. I do not need physical therapy. 

 

"The author survived a number of rounds of electroshock. The fact he was able to write such a groundbreaking book is inspiring."

              I am not surprised. I feel we-or I- am still in here-I am just not whole right now.  

 

 

 

[Shep]

On 2/4/2021 at 9:38 PM, MilitzaV said:

i was taking the Baclofen 2-3 times daily at the end of December 2019-april or May 2020. I stopped taking it and I think I was having nightmares and it suddenly wound me up. I did not suffer withdrawal from stopping. Unless I did and did not know what was going on-I've been pretty messed up in my head for so long. I just started taking the baclofen again in december, quit, and resumed a few weeks ago. Over the past 2 days I cut it in half and feel I could stop it easily. 10 mg-now 5.

 

Thanks for this additional information. Please note I've added this information to your signature. Please double-check that it's correct and how you want it. If not, please edit it here:

 

Account settings - Create or Edit your signature

 

On 2/4/2021 at 9:38 PM, MilitzaV said:

I wonder now if I have been "kindling" for many years.

 

Probably so. But that's okay, you just need to be mindful of doing a very slow taper. You may want to use a micro-taper and I would recommend the Brassmonkey Slide for small weekly reductions instead of one large monthly reduction. Please see:

 

Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro-tapering

 

On 2/4/2021 at 9:38 PM, MilitzaV said:

So I am now 3 days abstinent. I think the psychiatric drugs caused my cravings for alcohol. That is when my life started to fall apart-I didn't know what tolerance withdrawal or any of this was back when I realized the cravings were stronger and stronger. I developed a desire to take my Klonopin washed down with alcohol and I began heavy marijuana edible use as well. I was a mess.

 

Yes, it really does sound like the psych drugs made everything worse. But the good news is that coming off them will also solve the extra cravings. So you have a lot to look forward to. 

 

On 2/4/2021 at 9:38 PM, MilitzaV said:

I have had many accidents. This last one was painful but I am healed. I have to do yoga and stretching and i did not have a home until January 28th, 2021, so I am now doing these along with the Tibetan rites. I do not need physical therapy. 

 

Yoga is excellent fo a lot of withdrawal symptoms. Very glad to read you're already into that. 

 

You may enjoy the Beyond Meds site. It's written by a psychiatric drug survivor and has a lot of holistic inforamtion:

 

Beyond Meds - Yoga archives

 

You made two changes at the same time - stopping alcohol and reducing the Baclofen.  Please note it's best to only make one change at a time. That way if you run into problems, you'll know what caused it. Please see:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

If you start feeling more symptomatic, you may want to increase the Baclofen. Give yourself time to recover from stopping alcohol. There's no reason to rush this. 

 

Enjoy settling into your new place and having some sense of security now. All of this is good for your nervous system and can help you build a solid baseline before you make any more changes. 

 

While your holding, go ahead and have a read of the Brassmonkey Slide and Micro-Taper links so you can set up a gameplan during your hold. You may also want to check into seeing if you can get any of your drugs in liquid form, which is the easiest way to taper. If not, please see these links for making liquid and using a scale. 

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Using a digital scale to measure doses

 

Right now is a good time to just push pause and read and learn, and to rest and restore, as much as you can, before going into taper mode. 

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

 

Edited May 29, 2021 by Shep
updated with new username in quote box

[MilitzaV]

The Brass Monkey Slide looks like an easy to understand, flexible without kindling type of plan or start for me. I will start with tapering the Vyvanse. I do agree with the other post link you provided and written by Rhionnan and plan to throw in some klonopin taper at the same time at some point. I do love the link The 3 kis.

I am staying on my current regime for 2 weeks or so to make sure I do not alcohol withdrawals, and to stay off alcohol-which means not leaving much. At least for awhile

I am finding a lot of useful and not overwhelming information here and it flows nicely rather than causing me more anxiety. Last night, my anxiety got so bad that when I was sleeping for my 1 hour period ( twice) I was having dreams that I was reading a paper and my hands were shaking and the words were blurred. I alos had this horrible headache and neck strain pain-as if  my head, being on my neck all of my life suddenly did not belong there. i took a baclofen around 430 am and felt much better. (((sigh))))

 

 

[dirtvoid]

I'm interested to hear how you slow taper of Vyvanse goes in terms of symptoms, I am on 70mg and looking to slow taper.

[MilitzaV]

 

2 hours ago, dirtvoid said:

I'm interested to hear how you slow taper of Vyvanse goes in terms of symptoms, I am on 70mg and looking to slow taper.

I'll keep updates. I was on 70 mg at one time as well. The afternoon crash was so bad the NP added a " booster" of Adderall for the early afternoon. I easily switched to 50 mg at one point-I recall going a month with none and it was not horrible-but I had that booster so....? Then the NP told me 50 was a magical number that just worked the best for most people. It worked for awhile like they all do. I am going to use the brass monkey to taper the Vyvanse too and I will add any progress or insights here-unless there's a page I am missing? I have not fully explored this site yet.

[MilitzaV]

I just saw this as well. From  Admin page on here ( Alostrata)

Like all other psychiatric drugs, it is advisable to taper Vyvanse, a stimulating amphetamine analog that is truly addictive. According to FDA information at http://www.drugs.com/cdi/vyvanse.html

[dirtvoid]

do you mean the micro weekly reductions + 2 weeks holds? - how much are you thinking of reducing by per cut?

[MilitzaV]

On 2/8/2021 at 4:55 AM, dirtvoid said:

do you mean the micro weekly reductions + 2 weeks holds? - how much are you thinking of reducing by per cut? 

I am thinking that-yes. I am starting with 47.5 from 50 and will hold for 2 weeks-etc unless I see the need to adjust differently. I may do more ( bigger) reductions though I doubt it. At this point, with a lowered amount of K in recent years I feel too edgy and crazy. The other reason for this is measuring on a scale is easier for me in 2.5 to 5.0 increments.

[MilitzaV]

Title: evil insurance companies

 

Now that I suddenly need a pre-auth, or prior auth, after paying my nearly $400 for Vyvanse last month and it drops to $170 or something stupid and crazy and greedy like the ******* at insurance are...and having been on it for a few straight years, it will now be 3-5 business days until it's approved. So day one: no Vyvanse. It took me about 4 minutes to figure out the best lane to drive in to turn left. Maybe this is the jumpstart I need. Maybe it's a new level of hell. I will update. If I must wait a few days what do I do? Anyone? I loathe a life controlled by med dependence. I am so happy I found these sites. (* this is me trying to stay positive as I drop from 50 to 0 mg)

Edited February 19, 2021 by Shep
added title from moved thread

[Shep]

MilitzaV, please note I moved your post from the tapering section to here in your Info thread. Please continue to ask questions about your taper here. 

 

How are you doing now? Were you able to get your prescription? 

[MilitzaV]

On 2/19/2021 at 5:37 AM, Shep said:

MilitzaV, please note I moved your post from the tapering section to here in your Info thread. Please continue to ask questions about your taper here. 

 

How are you doing now? Were you able to get your prescription? 

 

Okay. Thanks Shep. Staying right here-this is easier than figuring anything else out on the sites anyway.

I went 2 days without... was not good.

I got the script then when my doctor finally got the message and he immediately called it in. Hence, my feelings for him are lovingly inappropriate right now.
I started tapering and made a mess. I emailed the brass monkey guy, got some simple and direct advice ( including how to direct a question to someone w/o the PM) and I am now weighing and measuring and taking 45 mg--give or take a nano=milligram-daily for 2 weeks ( my plan, for now, brass monkey just gave me scale tips and reassured it's tricky at first)

 

Interestingly, my demeanor is calmer and i wish to decrease a little more. I have not had any alcohol cravings in days either. I started, today, at some vitamins and minerals which may benefit me as I'm taking some nice, sunny fresh walks. I finally found some shoes.

 

As I noted earlier when advised to take time to settle, research and self care and thats what I'm doing. 

 

I also scored some oral syringes from the pharmacist here who knows my taper plans, advises me to go slowly, and always checks on my well being. I will use these when I get ready and I'm not ready yet for any liquid tapers. I like preparing and researching to get healthier frst. I'm trying to make this a journey of empowerment. it's really all i have at this point to reclaim any semblance of a life worth living. And I was absolutely terrified when facing CT of ANY med--I intend to taper as slowly as is best for me.

 

My new signature will be:

Klonopin .5 x2 

Vyvanse 45 mg 1x a.m.

Baclofen 2.5 mg @ bedtime

[Shep]

On 2/19/2021 at 11:25 PM, MilitzaV said:

Interestingly, my demeanor is calmer and i wish to decrease a little more. I have not had any alcohol cravings in days either. I started, today, at some vitamins and minerals

 

Please do not add in multiple items at one time. Adding in "some vitamins and minerals" especially right after making a drug reduction is going to muddy the waters should you have any upticks in symptoms. You won't know if it's from the drug reduction or even if it's one or more of the new vitamins because you added in more than one at once. Please see:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

On 2/19/2021 at 11:25 PM, MilitzaV said:

My new signature will be:

Klonopin .5 x2 

Vyvanse 45 mg 1x a.m.

Baclofen 2.5 mg @ bedtime

 

You can update your signature here:

 

Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

BTW, it looks like you've also reduced your Baclofen by 50% since February 3 (and that was after a 50% reduction from the December dose). Please be careful of making too many rapid reductions. 

Edited May 29, 2021 by Shep
updated with new username in quote box

[MilitzaV]

3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Please do not add in multiple items at one time. Adding in "some vitamins and minerals" especially right after making a drug reduction is going to muddy the waters should you have any upticks in symptoms. You won't know if it's from the drug reduction or even if it's one or more of the new vitamins because you added in more than one at once. Please see:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

 

You can update your signature here:

 

Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

BTW, it looks like you've also reduced your Baclofen by 50% since February 3 (and that was after a 50% reduction from the December dose). Please be careful of making too many rapid reductions. 

That was a grammatical error. It should have read “ I started today to look at some research on vitamins and minerals”. 
I have not taken any- just looking into sites for optimal health ( long term goal).

also, I’ve been all over with baclofen. Sometimes I do not take it all. I am not sure what to do as far as that goes- it helps me sleep when I start feeling the racing anxiety

[Shep]

On 2/20/2021 at 11:44 AM, MilitzaV said:

also, I’ve been all over with baclofen. Sometimes I do not take it all. I am not sure what to do as far as that goes- it helps me sleep when I start feeling the racing anxiety

 

People usually do better by staying as consistent as possible with these drugs. I would pick the lowest effective dose and take it at the same time of the day every day and see if some of your symptoms will even out. 

Edited May 29, 2021 by Shep
updated with new username in quote box

[MilitzaV]

I will but I havent been taking it every day. Maybe I should just get rid of them

[MilitzaV]

I still cannot figure out how to change the signature. I am currently at .45 K @ 3 pm and .48 K at 7 pm; and 42 mg Vyvanse. I took 2.5  gm Baclofen last night as I injured myself doing my one activity for the month. Back spasms.

The symptom I notice is tinnitus. It has increased though it's always been here--off and on--for the past 2 years. I do not mind it as much as the other ones ( severe crying spells, deep depression, feeling suicidal--all of which i had when i assume I was in a tolerance withdrawal or whatever it is called). I am not planning on tapering anything else until I have held for a month or so. Although I have to get off this vyvanse- I cannot afford it. I would like to do a liquid titration at some point but it's time released, so that's hard. I am all thumbs when it comes to stuffing capsules-I have tried that before and wasted a lot of substance.

* Since I have been tapering the Vyvanse I have had almost zero desire to consume alcohol. I think my dosage was too high but I'm not going to sit here and analzye anything. No alcohol in about 2 and 1/2 weeks. Nada!

Edited March 3, 2021 by NancyDrew
i had put .25 and it is 2.5 baclofen

[Shep]

On 3/3/2021 at 12:10 PM, MilitzaV said:

I still cannot figure out how to change the signature.

 

Here is a direct link to your signature where you can make changes:

 

Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

On 3/3/2021 at 12:10 PM, MilitzaV said:

* Since I have been tapering the Vyvanse I have had almost zero desire to consume alcohol. I think my dosage was too high but I'm not going to sit here and analzye anything. No alcohol in about 2 and 1/2 weeks. Nada!

 

This is excellent news, MilitzaV. This will set you up for a much better outcome as you taper. 

[dirtvoid]

Congrats on your sobriety!

[MilitzaV]

On 3/4/2021 at 7:35 AM, Shep said:

 

Here is a direct link to your signature where you can make changes:

 

Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

 

This is excellent news, MilitzaV. This will set you up for a much better outcome as you taper. 

Thanks! it feels good-a little accomplishment daily! I was thinking, when you asked a few back here if any meds me crave alcohol and then it came to me that I suddenly, without much effort, was not craving as i decreased the stimulant. I am taking them slow ( the K much slower-I'm not about to suffer any more than I have to!!!) thanks for the help

[MilitzaV]

15 hours ago, dirtvoid said:

Congrats on your sobriety!

Thanks-how is the CT going? I will look at your posts. I haven't done much beyond post on this thread and read inspirational content!

[MilitzaV]

Wow-something good:

so today I was so down in the late morning. I had been up since 3:30, dreading so much-hoping I could make it out of the house and to the grocery store. I was crying and just even wondering if something is physically wrong with me. I was sobbing my heart out thinking how alone I am and my recent "theme" of just f----ing doing things all alone, feeling so sad and victimy. Then I forced myself up, I had a package from someone and it was a blue cactus tip to grow. Just a friend who knows I love them and had promised me one last spring-and who I never call back. Well, I'm going to cut to the chase-I got annoyed-I got sad-I thought I cannot go get the soil-I cannot do ANYTHING  ( I was LOOOOW). My daughter came out and saw the cactus and got so excited. I said I'd go get soil because I never do anything and I sort of saw that look on her face too. I took 500 mg of Niacin. I have taken it awhile and it helps me sleep and my goal was to get back and go to sleep ( at 11 am). When I got to the grocery store I got the flush. I'd never gotten it but only taken this a few times. My mood honestly got normal. Nothing manic. Nothing crazy. Like a little visit back to how I used to be and I am just appreciating this while it's here. I dont know what happened but I am happy right now. If it's a "window" then it's the first one in over a year. If it's the Niacin ( and I hope it is) then I will contact a naturopathic doctor for labwork and to ensure it's safe and okay. Prior to this I just didn't care. I remember what it feels like to be normal right now. It's so nice. If this is going to happen eventually then I am very motivated. I'm writing this so I can remember. So I have something.To not mind being alive is just so nice.

[MilitzaV]

I am just posting a quick update-for my own reference and anyone just browsing. I am still doing better. I am really not sure what caused this although cutting the alcohol seems the most obvious. I have not had any at all for a continuous 40 some days. No cravings, as stated before, since decreasing/tapering the vyvanse. I am following the advice on here and not really doing much else as far as seeking out symptomology and all of that overwhelming stuff I had done before out of sheer misery and desperation for answers. I have continued to make slow and small decreases to Vyvanse-perhaps a tad quicker than the K but I'm listening to my body and really taking it quite slowly with K. Healthy eating, sleep is not great and I'm not complaining because I do rest. Walks, some swimming recently, some light workouts, lots of fresh natural fruit and juice, etc. I sometimes tell myself i may be one of the ones who actually feels better since starting a taper. When i have a very dark and low moment I am comforted in keeping the fact that I will get through it and keep the journey to wellness going so that really helps. Again, all of the things I've picked up here and on a similiar site. I do not come on too much but I like to stay connected through all of this. I wrote in a progress log that I wont ever be the same nor do i want to. I find myself embracing moments of happiness and calm and just silently registering these feelings, so grateful yet also so well deserved when i am not unleashing my fury onto everyone in my path! Now I am going to browse a bit and go to sleep ( or lie down awhile). Today, it's all good

[MilitzaV]

I have been researching and I'm just so confused. I keep looking at the calculators on here and again-confusion. I think I have looked at everything. This ratio of mg to ml is just not something I'm grasping. I finally made this graph with one of the calculators. Did I mess up? I am trying to do a very slow daily micortaper but with lots of holds. I want to go from .75 mg K to .74, hold, then .73 hold-etc-even if it takes me years.

 

Here is what I have. I realize I wrote down a hundreth every day for 4 days then hold-I did this so I have room to hold and I wanted to see what it looked like over the span of the decreasing-so the days weren't as important as I'll be referencing this and writing it down. 

 

 

[getofflex]

Previous post moved to your intro to keep your history in one place. 

[MilitzaV]

Looking at this now it's ridiculous, to me, to go this route anyway. I am going to do a micro but not daily. I don't care if this takes me another 2 years, or is that unhealthy? I don't really expect a response-I'm just so unsure. Listening to your body is hard when it's in a state of revolution. My body is tired. I guess it's the Vyvanse withdrawal. I am still doing that slowly too-it's just tricky for me with them being time released.

 

Yesterday I cleaned all of my little piles of remnants up from it and put it in a jar so I no longer like I'm stashing illegal mini piles of pure cocaine. That doesn't appeal to me. As for the rest of my journey I have made a milk solution out of almond milk. I put a little bit of sunflower lecithin when I make my milk in the blender. I have not had any problems with the disintegrating. I let it sit a few hours to overnight and I shake it up thoroughly. My recipe, in case anyone's trying to do as much as they can on a budget, is to buy the nuts at Sprouts. Organic-almonds are not truly raw even if advertised-something to do with the hulling or de-shelling process. I prefer cashew milk for this reason. I'm balls to the wall when I get healthy-so tapering is my lesson in patience with myself and the universe. Nothing good comes quickly-as I learned by taking these. Necessary at one point-probably. Not for 7-8 years, 3x a day, however...those days are gone and I am healing. I have ADHD  right now.

 

Recipe is soak the nuts overnight, throw in the blender, add tablespoon per cup of milk of lecithin ( sunflower has a lot of fat for binding as does coconut-I avoid soy-and I use liquid lecithin not granules) I throw in a fig or date or whatever is in the fridge sometimes 2-3 of these-and blend. it gets creamy and I adjust with water until it's the texture I need. Weigh my dosages and put in little containers and refrigerate. There are instances of some residue and I make sure I get it all. I am doing this without subtracting any liquid yet to discard, so I have to get some different containers-like glass for better visibility and crush the K better-I have had some success with this but I'm experimenting and fine tuning my method for another week to ensure I can do this before tapering further. I quit doing the math as fr as ml and liters and will approach that when I'm ready.

 

Current symptoms: tinnitus-magically disappears every once in a while. Onset of fatigue about once a day usually around 4-5 pm. GI issues. Anhedonia. Crying episodes. Bloating-much less than when I was drinking! 

 What is helping: Meditation! Gentle yoga. Doing the Tibetan rites. Playing with kids. Art. I also do blackout poetry-it is so therapeutic for me and all of these I can do from home though I'm trying to get out for some walks and stuff. I read through posts here and have benefitted immensely from these-especially the acceptance and meditation links. 

[getofflex]

Hello, MilitzaV. We at SA suggest that you do not skip doses to taper.  You said "I am going to do a micro but not daily."  This link explains it:  

 

Never Skip Doses to Taper

 

We also suggest, in most cases, to taper one drug at a time.  That way, when you have problems, you know what is causing it. 

[MilitzaV]

Thanks--I do not intend to skip doses. I intend to microdose very slowly-as in not daily but weekly or longer until I am ready. So the graph-which would have me reduce by some very low.00? mg per day would be followed but not daily--i would take the subtracted low dosage out every week or two. It's basically a very low percentile of tapering.

 

As for tapering two meds at once I made this decision because I am on a stimulant and a benzo. The depression is so great when stopping the stimulant that I have found a rather decent balance doing this together and I followed some other, older  rationale I found on here ( Rhionnon-i believe). My symptoms have been much better since I started tapering, so I do not want to change anything too much. 

[MilitzaV]

This tinnitus is really bothering me. This entire taper is ******* bothering me. I cant use a scale. I cant do math. I have bits and pieces of ******* pills all over and I'm trying to measure and weigh and convert to ounces and make liquid and take care of everyone and I'm not doing great. I don't even have a couch. I am batshit ******* insane right now

 

I need to change my name on here. 

[MilitzaV]

I am just so depressed. I don't do anything at all but lie around. in fear.

I am daydreaming of death

[Frogie]

On 4/10/2021 at 6:05 PM, MilitzaV said:

This tinnitus is really bothering me. This entire taper is ******* bothering me. I cant use a scale. I cant do math. I have bits and pieces of ******* pills all over and I'm trying to measure and weigh and convert to ounces and make liquid and take care of everyone and I'm not doing great. I don't even have a couch. I am batshit ******* insane right now

 

I need to change my name on here. 

I didn’t think I could use a scale either. But once I got the hang of it, it was relatively easy.

I would be happy to help you if you thought it would help.

I know this is a tough situation to be in. But hang in there.

Edited May 29, 2021 by Shep
updated with new username in quote box

[MilitzaV]

Thank you.

I'm going to try to go back to work. I'm on SSDI. I think, if I can work, I may be able to handle this differently. I'm scared though.

 

The scale, and making a liquid is weird to me.I was fine with it then I started dreaming I was rinsing out my glass and saw a lot of orange residue. Now I'm paranoid. Bad time for me