BooBoo19: SSRI discontinuaation syndrome from lexapro

[Erell]

14 minutes ago, BooBoo19 said:

Sorry about that I just cannot seem to get it right where to ask?  I will try harder LOL

 

I don't know much about St Johns wort, but as it acts as some ADs I would not stop it cold turkey.

 

You might find testimonies and insight here :

 

1. tapering-st-johns-wort

 

2. st-johns-wort-hypericum-perforatum

 

 

 

[Aleena]

On 3/14/2021 at 3:40 PM, BooBoo19 said:

Hello Friends

 

My withdrawal anxiety, insomnia seems to be getting worse.  Today I have feelings of DP/DR which I have never experienced before and without being dramatic is a little scary.  I was hoping to start feeling better, a little each day but this is not happening.  Anyway, I have been taking St Johns Wort 370mg extract for nearly 6 weeks (GP is aware but I had not put in my signature) now and I am starting to question whether this is impacting my recovery as I was only taking it to help my recovery.  I have halted the tablet for the last week and wondered if anybody had any advice for me as to whether to carry on tapering, stop altogether or infact it will not make any difference.  Thanking you in advance.

@boobooI tried st. John's wort when I left  5mg  Lexapro CT. It initially helped me but after 4 days the heart palpitations and pain started which went on for weeks. 

[ChessieCat]

Putting this here for member's history:

 

  

32 minutes ago, BooBoo19 said:

 

The new beast of insomnia (he has always been around hovering) has really kicked in now giving me one hours sleep per night, last night I gave in and took 2 x Zopiclone and slept for 6 hours  (it was a relief).

 

[BooBoo19]

Hello

 

I hope I am posting in the correct place for the Mods to see, do you think that I ma too late to reinstate Lexapro and if I am not how much should I do?

 

Thanks in advance

[BooBoo19]

Hello, I am hoping somebody can help me as I am now 7 weeks of lexapro and I am getting worse each day.  I have now insomnia, restlessness and massive anxiety where I am thinking that I cannot go on like this.  I am doing everything that I should be so do not know why this is happening.  I do not feel depressed but ado not want to see anybody, do anything and the anxiety is making me want to crawl out of my skin.  I do not have any luck on SSSRIs so it is not that I was better before. Does it get worse before it gets better? An hour seems like a day.  

[DinaDina]

HI, BooBoo! I’m also a victim of SSRI (Zoloft). I’m off for 11 weeks. First month of WD was better than second one. Second month was worse. And first weeks of third month were a nightmare. Now I’m a little bit better, perhaps, but second month was much more tolerable than this time. I’m just waiting. I feel your struggle and really try to hope that it get worse before it gets better.

[BooBoo19]

Hi @DinaDina

hanks for your response, can you describe what your symptoms were/are please, the insomnia and anxiety is killing me.

[DinaDina]

I have anxiety too. But I'm more killed by the physical symptoms. The strongest symptoms in my case are bladder issues and PGAD (frequency, constant urge, pain, genital sensations). I also had pain in abdomen, back, sides but it became better. That’s why I hope that my body can heal. But three months of physical suffering are already too much for me.

[BooBoo19]

Good morning Friends -Please help a damsel in distress,

 

I am seeking inspiration and that 'keep going mentality'.  I am 3 months of a 2 month prescription of Lexapro.  I have some improvements, my insomnia has gone and I can now sleep for at least 6 hours, not what I used to sleep but better than 2 hours I had with insomnia.  My anxiety has calmed but is still constant and quite debilitating, I know it has improved as I do not feel the desperation that I felt a couple of weeks ago and the desire to take a diazepam.  My mood is low.  I had a few windows (very small last week) where I was able to laugh a call a friend for a chat (not been able to do that before), I felt hopeful but alas it did not last. It just feels that it is Groundhog Day everyday. Ido take some propronal everyday but have noticed that I get a metallic taste in my mouth so am going to stop that for the anxiety. My GP has been very supportive but has started to say we need to think if it is withdrawal or a mental health issue.  I know it is withdrawal as I never felt like this before and it started 2 days after I stopped the medication.  I am starting to doubt myself now and thinking that I cannot go on like this.  I know in comparison to others this is not on their scale but boy it is debilitating.  Any advise, support, kind words would be gratefully appreciated.  

[Willfinish]

Hi girl, I think you’re still facing effexor withdrawal. Were you on it for five years ? 
could try to reinstate it a little ..

i know it’s awful, hang in there

[BooBoo19]

Hi Willfinish

 

I had no withdrawal at all from Effexor(I was one of the lucky ones but did a slow taper), it was the lexapro that withdrawals kicked in straight away.  Thanks for the motivation ...I will try and hang in there!!!  You too!!

[Aleena]

Prayers for you, it is so hard to wait and not know when it  ends. Why don't you reinstate 0.25 mg for a week, it might work. 

[Willfinish]

I don’t think it’s lexapro withdrawal. You were on it only for 7 weeks...in my opinion i believe that what you experienced in october was a prolonged withdrawal from Effexor tapering.....my lexapro withdrawal started a year after i was off the medication 

[BooBoo19]

Thanks Willfinish, maybe it is a combination of all 3 of the medications.  I just know that it feels hellish and want my life back and the happy gp lucky person I had worked so hard to become when off the Effexor.  I will wait it out further x

[Willfinish]

It’s really a torture. I’m 2 years off and now i’m seeing some light...but i’m still having difficult and frustrating moments

Hope !

[BooBoo19]

Hi @aleena 

 

I am too scared to reinstate as I was awful on it. How are you doing?

[Aleena]

Reinstating has helped me but tapering is still hard. 

[BooBoo19]

Hello, I am looking for some reassurance.  I am now 17 weeks of Lexapro and have had some windows, not all day and not back to my full happy self but I have seen some small glimmers of my old self.  Yesterday I was really, really good but I woke up today with debilitating anxiety, chest tightness, buzzy feeling all over, headache, bursts of adrenaline (almost bursts of fear), lack of appetite and low mood.  I know about windows and waves, but I thought (maybe naively) that the waves would not be as debilitating as this when I started to see some improvement.  I am healing (I think) but just asking for a little reassurance that this maybe typical, as I know that anything is possible and healing is not linear.  I just lose a little bit of faith during this time.  I have had improvements in my eating, sleeping and life in general although far from recovered it was inspiring me.  Some days I feel like punching the air with excitement that 'this is it, I am nearly better' and then BAM!!! anxiety in a big massive wave. Anxiety is my biggest problems and I have never had these anxiety symptoms before. Any support will be greatly appreciated.

[Gridley]

27 minutes ago, BooBoo19 said:

I am healing (I think) but just asking for a little reassurance that this maybe typical, as I know that anything is possible and healing is not linear.

Yes, this is typical.  In time, the waves will decrease in intensity.  You're doing fine, just hang in there.

 

I don't know if you're tried magnesium, which is one of the few supplements we recommend. Many members find it calming.

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Add in at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

29 minutes ago, BooBoo19 said:

Anxiety is my biggest problems and I have never had these anxiety symptoms before. 

I've found the following restorative yoga pose to be helpful with anxiety.  If you're not limber enough or have back problem, hooking your legs on a chair instead of up a wall will also work.

 

10 minute Restorative Yoga for Relaxation | Up the wall

 

 

[BooBoo19]

Thank you Gridley, it is good to know I am doing ok as it is so easy to lose hope given how awful it is.  I appreciate your comments.

[siderale]

Hello @BooBoo19
I rarely venture out of my own thread but it seems like our experiences and reactions are fairly similar. I am myself thinking about reinstating although it has only been 2 months and a half, but I was lucky enough to actually feel normal and good and functional with escitalopram.
I am currently experiencing some sort of very intense wave despite clear improvement having been made in the previous months, much like you. And it is so frustrating. But we have to hang on the moments when we feel alright, keep them in mind when we're at our worst - but it's exhausting. I feel for you. Sending you all the strength I can.

 

[BooBoo19]

Hello @siderale, yes I read your thread and thought the same.  I will not/cannot reinstate as I had an adverse reaction to them so never felt any benefit although the reaction was nothing like how I feel now.  It is so easy to fall down the rabbit hole again and forget just how well you were doing when you go into a wave.  My anxiety is totally off the scale at the moment and when that happens I do not sleep and think that I will never recover or heal. I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment because it is quite a bad wave and prior to this I was doing okish, not 100% but certainly functional.  My personal view is that people do get better although it does take time but it is you ( and I) as an individual who is living in the horror of all.  People who I have PM'd  state that there was many times they were going to go back on the medication during withdrawal as it was so bad but persevered  and are glad they they did because they have nearly healed now although it has taken them 2 years.  It is just soul destroying and incredibly hard.  I feel your pain but we can support each other I hope.  Stay strong even though I know how hard it is.

 

[siderale]

9 hours ago, BooBoo19 said:

I will not/cannot reinstate as I had an adverse reaction to them so never felt any benefit although the reaction was nothing like how I feel now.  It is so easy to fall down the rabbit hole again and forget just how well you were doing when you go into a wave.

That much is true, I completely understand not wanting to reinstate (I mean, I don't want either!!), in my case if I ever did it it would truly be the "easy way out"; it's mostly because I fear for my next academic year (technically my last and most important one) and that such symptoms are too debilitating. But I'm still "fresh" off the medication I believe. I know that no matter what any of us do, it is "the right solution". For now I continue pushing through.

 

I hope today will be an easier day for you. I would gladly send you some of the warm sun of southern France to brighten your day, but we have had terrible rainy days lately!

[BooBoo19]

Bless you, I will send you some warm sun from Cornwall, England although it will probably not be as warms as yours.  I understand your predicament totally. Do not think of to as 'the easy way out', I would never ever have believed the horror of the WD, so we cannot say what any of us would or should do in this situation as we take it day by day. I just get strength from people saying it will pass, it has been just over 4 months for me and I massively struggle and would have thought it would get easier.  These symptoms are worse than the depression and anxiety I first when on the medication for 100 fold.

[BooBoo19]

Hello all, I am asking for some serious help and also rom the Mods if possible which I never really ask for.  I seem to be getting worse, my main problem is anxiety and inner fear. I have had a few windows and thought that I was getting slowly better but the last week has been awful and now my sleep is being severely affected again.  I have internal jitteriness all over my body, very low mood, my legs cannot stop shaking and my jaw now keeps locking.  It is the physical symptoms that are so debilitating and the anxiety is getting worse.  I am struggling to work again and having the symptoms of wanting to be sick/dry heaving. We have sold our house and are moving but this is now starting to fill me with dread rather than enjoyment.  I try to be positive to others on here and think it is withdrawal but do not understand how it is getting worse.  I am now taking anything but my shaking is becoming uncontrollable as our my thoughts now.  Can this still be withdrawal and why is it getting worse.  I never had brain zaps or anything like that just this overwhelming fear.

[siderale]

Hello @BooBoo19, I hope today was a bit better. I am no mod, but I feel your distress, especially regarding such strong physical symptoms that cannot be controlled even with a lot of will.

Does the diazepam help with the shaking? Replacing antidepressants with benzodiazepins isn't the way to go, but you seem, much like me, to only take it in the worst cases. I have found that for me, sometimes, taking the smallest dose of benzodiazepins when it's really bad helps my body and brain to somehow "reset", like taking a breath, which could maybe help "de-escalate" the unconscious vicious circle in your brain and bring maybe a few days of relief.

[BooBoo19]

Thank you @siderale, yesterday was bad in the morning but as the day went on I got better and felt 'relatively normal' by the afternoon - strange isn't it. I have learned not to take anything for granted and that my recovery/healing is far from linear. Had a poor nights sleep again and woke up with anxiety. I have not taken diazepam for a number of weeks and then occasionally took it but I would indeed take it in order to alleviate the high anxiety.  I am taking propranolol as and when by my GP said to take it every day to get it into my system regularly.  How are you doing?

[siderale]

2 hours ago, BooBoo19 said:

yesterday was bad in the morning but as the day went on I got better and felt 'relatively normal' by the afternoon - strange isn't it. I have learned not to take anything for granted and that my recovery/healing is far from linear.

This is truly the "universal withdrawal feeling". I believe the road is bumpy for everyone here on SA! Some days are awful without any reason, and the day after our anxiety wears off during the day, and we can just ride along those rollercoaster days and weeks. I had no idea propanolol was prescribed for anxiety, I hope the secondary effects aren't too heavy on you?

 

I'm alright right now, it's midday. Woke up super anxious, did some gardening (the weather is insane over here, 35°c in a few days!) but it did not change my dreadful "gut feeling". Waited a bit more and took 5mg prazepam because I don't want my brain to "install" the anxiety for today. We'll see how the day turns out. Wishing you a peaceful day!

[BooBoo19]

Hello, Advice please re starting HRT.

 

I am now nearly 5 months of lexapro and still suffering significantly, I have had a few (and a I mean a few) glimpses of my real self but have a lot of anxiety and low mood, although the symptoms change over time.  I did not realise there was so many symptoms of anxiety and all of them not pleasant.  I have at times stated that I cannot go on much longer but continually push my self. I am Perimenopausal and the GP has stated that HRT may help.  Before I start it I wanted to check on here to ascertain any advice as I certainly do not want to destabilise by CNS any further.  Any advise would be gratefully received, I have been prescribed Utrogestan and Oestrogel.  I was hoping that it may curb the low mood and anxiety a little.  But will listen to the advice given.  Thank you - feeling like a damsel in distress at the moment.

[Phoenixmama]

@BooBoo19 hi how are you doing? 

[BooBoo19]

Hello @Phoenixmama, i have started to crawl out of the black hole (I hope).  I have glimmers of my old self and feeling happiness again but they are only glimmers.  I still have my waves although they reducing in intensity but nonetheless not pleasant. I seem to wake at 5.00am with racing thoughts (but these have reduced also in the speed of them, if that makes sense) and do not have the ability to drop back off to sleep.  My appetite is back to normal. I have resigned myself to accept it could be another 12-18 months before I feel my good old self again, although disappointing, I feel now that it will happen.  How are you doing?

[BooBoo19]

6 MONTHS OF LEXAPRO - MY UPDATE.  Hello all, I have been 6 months of Lexapro now and thought I would write my update.  I almost cold turkeyed off lexapro as I was told by a GP friend just to get it out of my body as I was having such bad side effects and had only been on it 8 weeks (Little did I know). My first week off Lexapro I was suicidal, my own GP was not happy that I had not reduced but it was too late by then and gave me diazepam to help with the chronic anxiety and insomnia, the diazepam at the time saved me (I know what you are thinking), I only took it very occasionally but in the early days it helped. For the first 4 months I was in a 24 hour state of extreme anxiety, symptoms I had never, ever experienced before, overwhelming fear at times, depression, trembling, some depersonalisation, stomach issues and insomnia.  You name it, I had most of the emotional symptoms.  I have never had one brain zap going on all going off but extreme anxiety is my constant nemesis.  I thought I was different to others as I had not had one window in all of that time so thought I must be ill but ploughed on, coming on this site to read success stories and know that I am not alone (A lifesaver for me).  I would occasionally take diazepam but have not for at least 4 months as I did not want to create another dependency but boy did I want something quick to take me out of this hell.  I took propranonol until about 2 months ago again not regular just as and when.  My GP has been great and recognised and believed in me that it was withdrawal and refused to give me anything else stating he would get me through it, but it was not him living this torture.  I said to my husband many times, I cannot carry on like this, if this is my life I do not want it.  To feel scared of yourself is not good.  For the last 2 months, I have experienced windows, just glimmers initially and I thought brilliant I am getting better.  I was hoping that I would not be like anybody else (WHY I ask myself) and hoped that my recovery would be linear and that I would never experience another wave.  I was wrong and my waves put me right back to the beginning again, they are full of anxiety, insomnia and I don't eat.  I have started to laugh and can now cry something that I can consider is part of my healing, real tears - I embrace them. I most recently had a 10 day window, I am not 100% me during a window but at least 80% and I feel hopeful.  BAM!! then comes the wave, my last wave (Which I am still in) has probably been one of my worst which again is so debilitating as the anxiety and fear is overwhelming. I keep telling myself a window will come back but it is so hard in a wave as most of you know.  I am a professional woman who works full time but it has been a real struggle.  I have no reserves available for stress and I find that stress exacerbates the recovery process for me.  When I am in a window I feel positive I will recover, when in a wave I think I will never recover.  I used to run 5K 3 times per week but cannot now, though I am hopeful I will again soon, I cut out all caffeine and alcohol and only take Omega 3 oil daily. I am angry at the whole pharmaceutical system, given that the last 6 months have been the worse time in my entire life.  Thank you to you all for being inspirational on here, especially those who have supported me and PM'd me and I hope you all have a speedy recovery from this awful withdrawal.  I sincerely hope one day I will be writing my success story but until then keep fighting the good fight however you choose to do it for yourself.

[Erell]

31 minutes ago, BooBoo19 said:

the diazepam at the time saved me (I know what you are thinking)

 

Hello @BooBoo19

 

Please don't feel afraid or ashamed here because you mention having used Diazepam.

We can't and won't recommend benzo because we know how problematical they can be (for many reasons, whether it is dependency or the risk of adding fuel to the fire of an already destabilised CNS).

You're going through one of the most brutal human experience, there's no way we would shame you because you have done your best to survive ❤

 

I have no doubt you are struggling, and I send you all my support during this wave. 

But god, I'm so happy to read you have such bright windows : 6 months can still be early days, this sounds like a really good sign !

 

Hang in there dear fellow, let us know how you do ❤

 

[BooBoo19]

Thank you @Erellfor your kind words, I know 6 months is still early but sometimes it feels a lifetime when you just want your life back.  Onwards and upwards!!  Hope you are doing ok?

[rachie]

I can relate to your post more than any that I have read. It has been 10 months off and extreme anxiety is the worst and it is relentless. I am experiencing some windows finally and I have some hope during the windows. I can actually think I might have a future beyond this but the waves are crushing. I try to hang on to a good attitude but I eventually hit a wall of despair and hopelessness wishing to not live if it is like this. That is not what I want. What I want is to heal and be back in to life, to journey with my husband, go visit my sons, easily drive over a bridge, quit avoiding life because of this anxiety and panic. Today (a wave day I'm crying on the floor of my walk in closet) which is what I do when it gets bad. I'm afraid to believe any of the above will happen because I keep getting knocked down. I told my husband today if I ever get through this I could write a book called 2 years in my closet. Can tell you how many times I've gone in there to weep. But then I pick myself back up. 

[BooBoo19]

9 months post zero  and boy what a journey so far.  I seemed to get worse at 6 months, what felt like almost a continuous wave.  I had 2 severe traumatic fear moments in the middle of the night, within 5 days post covid vaccine, maybe a coincidence who knows!!  I started to keep a diary (as advised by my husband)  with a traffic light system.  I did keep one in the early days but felt so upset reading it knowing how awful withdrawal was and that I was  still experiencing it.  However, recently approximately 2 weeks ago, I had a big wave and thought that my life was doomed to this misery forever. I looked back in my diary and saw that I had had experienced some better days and that reassured me.  I have never had windows when I am symptom free, but there have been days when I almost feel my old self and I rejoice in these days.  Conversely, I also get very angry that prescribed medication has done this, acceptance of the situation is still work in progress for me.  I think ( and I am hesitant to say it) that I am better than I was 3 months ago, I have a lot more physical symptoms now, for example, tight chest, throat and pins and needles in my lips, tongue and gums. Muscle tension in my tummy as if I had done 200 sits up. They may have always been there but the roaring anxiety may have masked them slightly.  My nemesis remains anxiety and stress intolerance although it is not as roaring as it once was.  I only take omega 3 oil daily and a probiotic, I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and running.  I try to get out every day walking and have reduced sugar as much as possible.  The debilitating withdrawal symptoms remain although not as intense, I get very low/down as to how long it has gone on for and how much of my like I have had to put on hold.  I do not plan for the future as I never know how I will feel but there have been glimpses of me getting excited for the future.  Something that did not happen before and although glimpses I will have to accept that.  For everybody starting their journey - Stay strong!!! As others have said it is the hardest thing I have ever had to endure and with no control over it but I am optimistic (probably because I am not in a wave) as everyone says - we will heal!!!