MaryMoo429: Introduction

[MaryMoo429]

@Mia1 Thank you for mentioning not wanting to call it withdrawal anymore because I have been saying the same thing!!! I agree with you 100%. 
 

Do you get the feeling like all your vocal cords are constructing too and it gets hrs to carry on conversations? It’s so awful! 

[Mia1]

34 minutes ago, MaryMoo429 said:

Do you get the feeling like all your vocal cords are constructing too and it gets hrs to carry on conversations? It’s so awful! 

You described it perfectly, it’s like someone has their hands around my throat. Because I know what it is I just don’t react to it anymore and because of that it doesn’t last long but it does come and go.

 

How about you, does it last long? 

[MaryMoo429]

Ya mine lasts a while. It happens every time I have to engage in conversations for an extended period of time. Today it’s been especially noticeable and bothersome all day. 

[Greatful]

@MaryMoo429  This is really a tough road all of us are traveling on...

I can relate to feeling sick and tired of passing up the things you use to do.  Rest assured we will be doing them again, it just might take a little while longer then we want.  

 

Like Mia1 said We are recovering from a temporary brain injury. Our brains are working overtime to get us back on our feet.

 

Do you think your intense yoga can be exasperating you wd symptoms.  Is there a more gentle yoga that you can try for a little while.  I know a lot of people can not do intense exercising it make their wd worse.    

 

I hope this week goes better for you❤️

Remember you are doing a super job holding it all together.

One day at a time 

[Mia1]

13 hours ago, MaryMoo429 said:

Ya mine lasts a while. It happens every time I have to engage in conversations for an extended period of time. Today it’s been especially noticeable and bothersome all day. 

I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m attaching a great article on sensorimotor OCD it helps explain what it is and how to cure it,  I hope you find it helpful.

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/when-automatic-bodily-processes-become-conscious-how-to-disengage-from-sensorimotor-obsessions/

[MaryMoo429]

@Greatful I do think that when I go too hard in yoga class it exacerbates my withdrawal symptoms. Usually class is beneficial to me, however. Exercise has been one of the best tools for me and I feel lousy when I don’t get in a decent work out. There is definitely a tipping point though. And the combination of going too hard and extreme heat can be a bad one. So I’ve been working on backing off. This is something I need to practice not only in yoga but in my regular life as well so it’s been good practice. 
 

@Mia1 I’ve read this article and actually emailed the guy who wrote it at the beginning of the month and he emailed me back. I definitely have this - especially with breathing and my heartbeat but I feel like what happens with my throat is something more, but maybe not. Like I feel like my throat muscles are seizing/constricting or something. Not just that I’m super focused on it - which I definitely am once it starts, but I feel like something is going on there to make me super aware of it. Like my throat muscles (even vocal cords maybe) get overworked and then start working against me. The feeling generally stops if I stop talking and don’t use my voice/throat. 
 

today I had to call out of work because I didn’t sleep more than 1-2 hours and I feel awful. I had wicked anxiety last night and my sinuses were so swollen I couldn’t breathe out of either nostril. This weirdly happens just about every night I go to bed but it gone by the morning. Today I have bad anxiety, agitation, intrusive negative thoughts and agoraphobia. No awful feelings in my throat though because (in my opinion) I haven’t had to talk to anyone or use my voice. That’s why I wonder if it’s something else going on or actually is related to coming off psych meds. It’s very much related to talking. Having conversations seriously exhausts me, it’s so weird. 

[Mia1]

2 hours ago, MaryMoo429 said:

my sinuses were so swollen I couldn’t breathe out of either nostril. This weirdly happens just about every night I go to bed but it gone by the morning

Have you tried peppermint oil? A couple drops mixed with your favorite oil and placed under your nose and/or on your chest should open your sinuses right up.

[MaryMoo429]

@Mia1 No I haven’t. Maybe I’ll try it. I just don’t want the smell to be too strong/bothersome like Vick’s. 

[almuPA]

Hello @MaryMoo429,

 

Sorry I havent checked on you in a long time. How are you doing?

 

On 8/23/2021 at 12:13 AM, MaryMoo429 said:

I hate watching my life go by me and not being able to participate in the things that I used to because my symptoms prevent me from doing so. It's like I still have desires to do things but can't because of the awful physical and mental symptoms.

I relate to this a lot. I think all of us in WD can relate. It is frustating how time consuming is all of this. 

 

I know you are suffering, but let me tell you I admire you. You are experiencing so many things and still, you are waking up, going to work, going to yoga...  That is a huge huge achievement. 

 

On 8/23/2021 at 12:13 AM, MaryMoo429 said:

Then my mind starts downward spiraling and I wonder if maybe I had COVID back in November when this first started and I just didn't know it, but I'm someone who's having a long-haul response or whatever. Or is it a symptom of withdrawal since it coincides when all the other symptoms started. Or is it something else?

All these questions are normal. We dont really know what is happening, we are only suffering it. I think you are doing a great job (for what I've read) trying to accept this whole WD situation. It is natural to have so many questions and doubts, but I little by little, we will get stronger and the WD will lessen. 

 

I send you a big hug,

 

Almu.

[MaryMoo429]

@almuPA it’s so nice to hear from you ❤️ 

 

I’m doing ok today so far. It’s the end of my work week and I have a half day today (we get out at noon during the summer) so I’m happy to have just about made it another week. Im still very symptomatic but the severity fluctuates so I’ve been doing as best as I can to just hold on tight and get through the ride. I’m planning to keep myself busy this weekend so I don’t have as much time to reflect on my anxious state and then cycle into a state of anger/depression which has been happening to me the past few weekends. My mom is coming to visit me from New Hampshire tomorrow and we are going to check out the Botanical Gardens in Boothbay so I’m actually really looking forward to that. Going to try to stay positive the next few days despite how I am feeling. We will see how that goes, though. 
 

how are you doing? How is the withdrawal? I hope that you have been able to practice self care and find some relief from this awful agony we are all experiencing. 

[almuPA]

On 8/27/2021 at 1:35 PM, MaryMoo429 said:

Im still very symptomatic but the severity fluctuates

Thats actually good news, It means you are healing:)

 

On 8/27/2021 at 1:35 PM, MaryMoo429 said:

My mom is coming to visit me from New Hampshire tomorrow and we are going to check out the Botanical Gardens in Boothbay

That sounds like a great plan, I Hope you and your mom enjoyed It.

 

I send you a Big hug,

 

Almu

[siderale]

Hello MaryMoo! Just skimmed through your thread and read your introduction post. You're inspiring on many levels, congrats for getting off the meds and still putting up with all you have to do on a daily basis, and keeping good habits. I do relate a lot with many of your symptoms. Health anxiety out of the roof, and experiencing symptoms very similar to those you describe? Check! I sure hope your symptoms, breathing, heartbeat etc, ease off soon. I know it's easy to say (I also ran plenty of medical exams!) but try to remember that WD can produce such symptoms, from annoying to severe degrees; it's crazy how it can make you feel something's wrong. Speaking of this, I don't have enough energy to do power yoga or exercise, but I hope to build it back because much like you, I feel like exercising helps a lot. Windows are around the corner. Keep track of the good days and congratulate yourself for pushing through, you're super strong.

Anyways, I hope you had a wonderful week-end. Keep it up! ♥

[getofflex]

@MaryMoo429I'm sorry to hear about the anxiety you are dealing with.  I know how much this sucks, because I've been through it too.  

 

You might try taking the magnesium in small amounts throughout the day instead of all in one dose to help with the anxiety.  Also, have you tried omega 3 fish oil?  This can be helpful too.  

 

 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

[MaryMoo429]

@almuPA We had a lot of fun. The more I’m able to be around family and get outside, the better. 

[MaryMoo429]

@siderale Thanks for the lovely post, I really appreciate your kind words. Yes, the exercise is huge for me. I actually went hiking this Saturday and it was so wonderful to get back out there, I hadn’t been since the beginning of summer. Now that the weather is cooling down I’m planning to try and go every other weekend at least. Exercise and nature are such excellent medicine. 

[MaryMoo429]

@getofflex I may take your advice and try taking the Magnesium twice a day and see if that makes any difference. As far as the fish oil goes, I’ve been nervous to purchase any because I don’t know what to get exactly and have weird OCD fears now about taking any new supplement/medication. I do eat 1-1.5lb of salmon a week though and put flax seed in my smoothies on the days I don’t eat the fish. Should I still think about this supplement or am I covered with the nutrients from my diet? 

[MaryMoo429]

Feeling frustrated with withdrawal and have been feeling like I don’t want to continue on like this anymore and want to go back on meds. September 14 marked a year off meds for me and all I feel is frustrated with the fact that I still feel like ****. 

[getofflex]

On 9/7/2021 at 2:27 PM, MaryMoo429 said:

Should I still think about this supplement or am I covered with the nutrients from my diet? 

I would think you get plenty of omega 3 from your diet already.  

 

11 hours ago, MaryMoo429 said:

Feeling frustrated with withdrawal and have been feeling like I don’t want to continue on like this anymore and want to go back on meds. September 14 marked a year off meds for me and all I feel is frustrated with the fact that I still feel like ****. 

I can certainly understand your frustration.  It takes a colossal amount of patience to go through this WD process. Do you ever have any times when you feel OK or good?  Have things gradually improved at all since you got off? 

 

How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take

 

Try reading some of the success stories - on the home page, halfway down.  This may help you see things in a different light. Here are 2 very powerful ones: 

 

Shep's Success Leaving Plato's Cave

 

Tao of the Brass Monkey

 

 

 

 

[Mia1]

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. What ultimately helped me with this was finding my reason why I was doing this, accepting the symptoms and transforming the experience. I think when you can stop fighting your experience but rather move with it and use it as a vehicle to grow it no longer matters as much how long it will last, it becomes a unique opportunity that you keep growing from.

 

 I liken it to Navy Seals training, specifically Hell Week. Even the strongest can break during this time, the mind starts to tell them they simply can’t do this and they believe it. Only a few can really break through the limits of their mind to complete it. So I view this experience as “Hell Week” for my soul. I’m using this as an opportunity to grow every single day and I am in gratitude for the experience. Because I’m able to do this I no longer suffer any of my symptoms, which are many at the moment.

 

 I don’t say this lightly, I intimately know how difficult this can be and the strong desire to just want to feel better. But this can be done, you can transcend the way you feel. Find your reason why and make it more important than anything else. Use this experience as the greatest teacher you have ever had and be grateful for all you are learning about yourself because of it. If you can do this I can promise you you will never suffer another day of your life. 

 

I hope you feel better soon 💗

[MaryMoo429]

@getofflex once in a blue moon I will feel ok, but I always have that feeling like all the muscles in my throat/airway are tight and I get winded talking and feel like I am choking kind of and unable to speak smoothly, consistently and for extended periods of time. Ugh it’s the worst symptom and I can’t even explain it well! It’s not a lump-in-the-throat sensation like many describe but something else. The head pressure too that gets really bad when I stand up where I feel the beating of my heart in my head in the form of pressure. Like someone has stepped on a hose and all the pressure builds up behind it. That’s how my head feels in pulses to the beat of my heart. Not a headache just awful, uncomfortable pressure pulses.  
 

these awful physical feelings are what prevent me from participating in any of the things that I enjoy doing. I have tried to just do them anyway and end up feeling so horrible while In the midst of the activity that I go home and have a meltdown afterwards because I realize I can’t even do simple things like go out to eat at a restaurant with people. I tried to do this a few weeks ago and had a horrible time. Ended up going home and bawling.
 

I am also very frustrated because I don’t see any gradual healing. Its been a year now and looking back at when my symptoms first started I don’t see any improvement. It’s hard to keep up hope and momentum when you don’t see any changes in terms of how you’re feeling. 
 

@Mia1I totally understand trying to use this as an opportunity for growth and trying to stop fighting things in order to allow the process to flow more smoothly and be less painful, but many days I just seriously struggle to do so, or rather to “want” to do so anymore. I have proven to myself that I am capable of continuing to hold down a full time job and take care of my responsibilities despite feeling totally miserable almost constantly for the last year, but I’m just exhausted and beaten down from the entire process that I want to give up. If I knew for sure things would get better in a certain number of years it would be easier for me to hang on. But not knowing, and not even knowing for sure that this is withdrawal and not rebound anxiety as well as supposedly struggling with something that many don’t even believe is a real thing makes it very difficult. I also have very strong urges to drink right now or use something to alter the way I feel and feel better.
 

I get the Marine analogy but feel bitter about it because at least the Marines signed up for it willingly and knowingly, know for sure it is only a certain number of days they need to get through, and are respected by most for what they are doing. With whatever I’m going through right now, I don’t know how long I will feel this way or if it is ever something that will ever get better. I don’t know if it would stop if I were to go back on meds (one side tells me yes and the other says no). I constantly fear that it could get so bad and overwhelming that I relapse or do something worse. I question whether I could just end all this suffering right now by going back to the doctor and asking to go back on meds like I’ve done many times in the past and always felt better once I did. I just feel like I don’t know what to do anymore and feel very frustrated and upset today…
 

I originally got off SSRIS because of sexual side effects and wanting to “know the real me” after I got sober. I felt like I may as well get off meds too while I was at it. I didn’t have any problems with these medications other than sexual ones while I was on them, however. I can’t say the same for the benzos, amphetamines and suboxone  I was on for years but the ssris for the most part I didn’t even notice I was on - I just didn’t have panic attacks and my OCD was in check. Melancholy was still there though. 

I try to remember what my “beacon” is daily and have it written on a post-it stuck to my mirror so I see it everyday, but like I said it’s just hard to keep up the momentum when I have all these thoughts, opposing information, other people’s opinions and my own opinion (which seems to change all the time) at war with one another inside my head constantly. 
 

@Mia1 and @getofflex as always thank you dearly for your kind words and suggestions I truly appreciate them ❤️ and want to apologize for being so seemingly negative this morning but I needed to get it out. Thank you for allowing me the space to do so here. 

[Greatful]

@MaryMoo429  Oh Marymoo I feel your pain and frustration. Your right this is a very difficult journey and will cause many doubts and confusing thoughts in our heads.  I also hit the wall sometimes and wonder what in the world is going on and how much can I take.  The thought of the drugs helping me gets morphed and is distorted in my mind.  My hubby has to remind me that they really didn't help me, I still was  and full of discontent.  They just dulled me enough to function and get through life and even with that they were starting to not work as well as they did in the early years.  I have been trying to get through wd since the summer of 2020 and it became horrific when the doctor got involved and started to jump to other meds which didn't help because I was i wd from the Prozac.  Neither one of knew us how to deal with what I know now was WD.  Anyway that's besides the point,  I know your fear and  panic that this will not get better.

3 hours ago, MaryMoo429 said:

I have tried to just do them anyway and end up feeling so horrible while In the midst of the activity that I go home and have a meltdown afterwards because I realize I can’t even do simple things like go out to eat at a restaurant with people.

I can relate to this fully.  You should be proud that you went out anyway.  I know how hard it is to be careful to say not say negative things to ourselves.  How can we not when we feel so sad and down trotted , but even with this thought we can be kind to ourselves and say yes I do feel angry and sad about this but that's okay I can because this is how I feel right now.  We need to give ourselves as many breaks as we can and treat ourselves with kindness and acceptance.  We should be proud and kind to ourselves with the things we do and that we keep trying.  Believe me I know the struggle.  You may want to look into long term use of these drugs and if what else they affect  in your body to make a real informed decision.  I respect your decision with whatever you decided. ( I know the drive to stay on them, believe me) Just look into the pros and cons first.

 

Can you take a medical leave off absents?  Get on short term FMLA?  I am on it right now, it was very hard for me to do emotionally, I always powered through things all my life, but taking care of yourself is more important then trying to prove that I that you are wonder woman.  Now don't get me wrong I have the most respect and admiration for any one that has no choice but to work and finds the strength to do it.  These drugs were first not study long to see the long term affects.  

3 hours ago, MaryMoo429 said:

“know the real me” after I got sober. I felt like I may as well get off meds too while I was at it. I didn’t have any problems with these medications other than sexual ones while I was on them,

Maybe this is true or else the drinking and other drugs made you feel good,  if you were doing them at the same time.  Why were you on the ssri's.  Were you running from the past, problems?  These are things that I am trying to figure out myself.

 

Have you read  @Happy2Healtread?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/19203-happy2heal-my-victory-statement/?tab=comments#comment-385445

 

She has given some great advice recently to @Escitalopram21  that I will copy and past here

I hope it okay I do this.

 

I was on all kinds of meds for over 40 yrs, also pretty much my entire adult life

 

I realized far too late that the drugs were NOT helping, but I knew they were doing something, because I had so many terrible side effects that I was told I just had to live with.

The drugs were mainly making me numb. At a huge cost to my overall health, I gained a ton of wt and was on all kinds of other meds to deal with the problems the psych meds were causing.

 

you've not given yourself a chance yet to see what life is like without being drugged.

If you BELIEVE that these drugs are somehow helping you, it's well within your right to keep taking them.

It surely doesn't LOOK like they are doing much to help you, from where I'm sitting, but you're the only one who knows what's going on inside you

 

BUT please do not confuse the terrible awful symptoms of withdrawal as being some sort of "proof" that you "need" to take these drugs

 

Human beings were not born with a lexapro or a lithium or a zyprexa deficiency. There is no chemical imbalance in our brains that needs to be chemically adjusted by taking pills and potions.

The drugs essentially cause brain damage.

 

I know it's scary coming off them, but it DOES get better!! however it will take much longer to get to that better place if you keep going up and down and changing your mind about what to do

 

Believe me I was in the same position a few years ago. I did not know what to do either. I ignored the advice I was given here, and I SUFFERED greatly for ignoring that advice

It was only when I accepted that withdrawal was going to be hard and probably a lot longer than I wanted it to, that things eased up and I found the strength within myself to get thru it

we all feel like we are just pretending to be an adult. ALL Of us. Not everyone will admit it but none of us have travelled this path before, it's all new to all of us

 

we do the best we can. that's all anyone can do. 

 

Many if not most of us, never learned to self soothe, never learned healthy non drug methods for dealing with anxiety and sadness and other uncomfortable feelings. We took a pill (or 2 or 3 or more) and thought that would solve all our problems. It didn't, we just pushed the problem down the road. Eventually many if not most of us realized we could handle our feelings just fine without drugs, we stopped being afraid of feelings, and learned to embrace them as the things that give life it's flavor, it's brightness and makes it worth living. Feelings don't last, they come and go, and when you learn to accept that you'll feel a freedom that may make you someday realize that life truly is good. It's all in how you look at it. 

 

if you have decided you want to take these drugs that's your right. but if you want to get off them and see what life can be chemical free, you need to stick to a consistent dose.

 

it's the only way to get thru it with the least bumps in the road.

 

3 hours ago, MaryMoo429 said:

 and want to apologize for being so seemingly negative this morning but I needed to get it out. Thank you for allowing me the space to do so here. 

Please do not keep it in.  This site is here to help in anyway we can.  You are not the first nor will you be the last to feel the pain, fear, depression, anger, physical pains, anxiety, panic, obsessing thoughts, OCD, the list goes on, so know that this is the a safe place  to express yourself and were the other people  that will fully understand you.❤️

 

Sorry so long.

 

[siderale]

Hi @MaryMoo429, don't apologise for letting your frustrations out. Like you stated and like Greatful also said it is only normal to be tired by this, especially when it seems to be stagnating and you feel no improvement. I really hope you will soon be able to feel some much deserved relief.

 

The physical symptoms are so hard to deal with as they interfere so much with just... basic wellbeing and living. I do relate to the weird and hard to describe feeling in your throat - when I have it I focus on it so much that my lower jaw begins hurting. Probably because the muscles tense unintentionally... due to the discomfort that is this weird feeling in the first place. Our bodies are not helping us! But they're trying their best. This as well as the head pressure - funnily enough mine seems similar as what you describe, but increases when I lie down!

 

Find relief and reassurance in what you want to believe in. Try not to dwell to much on decisions taken, on past history with the drugs, on their effects, for it is in the past now. Just try to break down the one thing to focus on, on the simplest thing: you'll recover. Maybe you'll suddenly have a window, as if something was lifted. Maybe it'll be so gradual you won't notice it until months later. I know I cannot say much to reassure you for sure, as everyone's path in recovery is different. So I just send you lots and lots of love and strength. Keep it up, it will be worth it 💚

[Escitalopram21]

@MaryMoo429

Oh I am so sorry you have to suffer from the exact same feeling as I am! I know exactly how you feel and you describe so much better than I ever have been able to. Its a very strange and disturbing feeling/sensation. I have always felt it when updosing and remember this same feeling/sensation when i first started the drug, but i believed it was a feeling of anxiety. I never for the YEARS that i suffered from it even once thought that it might be my medication causing it! 
I so fully understand how you feel and that you dont enjoy doing anything, how could you when you walk around feeling like someone is slowly choking you, but from inside. 
Hang in there! This feeling too shall pass ♥️

[MaryMoo429]

Thanks for the responses @Greatful @siderale and @Escitalopram21. I don’t have time to respond right now as I just have a few minutes away from work and am still in a really low funk, but I really appreciate your comments, suggestions and encouraging words. I will check in again when I have more time to do so. As always, take care and continue healing ❤️

[MaryMoo429]

I messaged my doctor on the portal last night as I have had a rash on my face that forms a ring starting on either side of my nose and going down to my chin. I have to wear a mask all day at work and I think this along with the change in the weather has created a not so ideal environment for my face. It itches and is dry and slightly burns. I sent her a picture to give her an idea of what it looks like. The MA messages me back today saying they sent in a prescription and to schedule an in office appointment if it doesn’t get better in a week or two. When I logged onto my Walgreens account online I can see that there is a prescription of Desonide .05 topical ointment filled for me. I looked it up and this is a corticosteroid. I just wanted to ask on here if this is safe to use or not? I’m sure the answer is going to be no, but if someone could give me some info on this it would be greatly appreciated. Not sure what I should do. 

[MaryMoo429]

Does anyone know if I can use this cream^? I never drilled it and the rash on my face is getting really bad and not going away. 

[getofflex]

If I were you I would not use this. It has cortisone in it which can fire up your nervous system.  I use a wonderful natural cream containing Manuka honey and colloidal oatmeal on my face called Manuka Relief.  It’s for eczema.  Manuka honey and colloidal oatmeal are natural remedies for inflamed skin.  I ordered it from Amazon.  It really worked. I also stopped using a cream that contained a chemical sunblock in it as this may have been causing my eczema.  

[MaryMoo429]

@getofflexI think I found it on Amazon. Is it a $29 yellow cream that comes in a tub with little bees on the label? Can I put this on my face? The doctor diagnosed me with a contact dermatitis (from the mask they said). I was hoping it would clear up on its own but after two weeks it’s only gotten worse and forms al almost perfect ring around my mouth. It’s wicked dry, red and itchy. I’ve been avoiding makeup and have only been using a very clean face cream from Sephora. I also have been using a gentle face wash. 

[getofflex]

Yes, that's it.  Yes, you can put it on your face.  I've been using it on my face twice a day for several weeks, with no problem.  

[MaryMoo429]

So I'm going to be seeing a new counselor in a few weeks and was wondering if there is anything on the website that I can give to the guy that explains withdrawal? Something short and sweet - unlike psychiatric drug withdrawal itself. I just want to go in there and feel heard from the get-go. Feel it out and see if this is someone who is going to be supportive. I've ripped through more than my fair share of counselors in my lifetime so am hoping to find one that sticks this time. 

[Greatful]

@MaryMoo429

 

1 hour ago, MaryMoo429 said:

So I'm going to be seeing a new counselor in a few weeks

I hope that this will help you out❤️

How are you doing?

 

I don't know if you have looked at any of these.

I hope you find something in these that will help you out.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/20161-how-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-tapering-

and-withdrawal-what-to-expect/https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/23454-print-

 

out-leaflet-guidance-on-stopping-antidepressants-by-royal-college/

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1160-how-psychiatric-drugs-remodel-your-brain/

 

 

http://Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF

 

http://Psychiatry’s Top Experts Acknowledge Lasting Harms of Antidepressant Withdrawal

 

http://Joseph Glenmullen | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster

 

 

[MaryMoo429]

@Greatful Thank you for all of these resources. I really appreciate it. 
 

I’m hanging in there and doing about the same. Lots of awful anxiety still and the same physical symptoms I’ve discussed on here at length. I had a horrible panic attack last week where I was driving from my place in Portland to my parent’s in NH and halfway there I felt my heart start pounding, my mind start racing and my whole body start tingling. I had to call my parents and they had to come meet me and I drove with my mom home while my dad drove my car back with my dog. It was so awful and highly embarrassing when I think about it, honestly. A 32 year old woman having to call her parents because she needs someone to come rescue here. This week I’ve been trying to just be easy and lay low. I normally do power yoga 6 days a week but this week I have felt so burnt out, tired and sore that I’m just trying to give myself permission to not workout (aside from taking my dog for walks every day). It’s really hard for me to be ok with not exercising though. Being prescribed/abusing Adderall (and not eating) for so many years made me have a really messed up relationship with food and with my body. Now that I have an appetite again and I’m no longer sickly thin, I can feel very uncomfortable in my own skin snd be very cruel to myself in this regard. So taking a week off of yoga (since Monday at least) is really huge for me and very challenging. 
 

thanks for checking in with me and I hope you’re having a wonderful week. 

 

[Greatful]

@MaryMoo429

Your welcome I hope something pops out for you to use.

Do you think you could do every other day on the power yoga.  It may be hindering you healing.

Take care of yourself.❤️

[MaryMoo429]

@Greatful I think I may ease off for a little bit and try doing the 6am classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday then do the 9am’s on Saturday and Sunday when I’m off from work. Tuesday’s and Thursdays I may just go for long walks with my dog after work or not do anything if I’m feeling like my body is too stressed. I’ve just been in so much pain this week and don’t know if I’m feeling worse from not doing yoga or what. I have been sleeping better since taking a break from the 5:45pm classes every night so I assumed this, in turn, would make me feel better, but I actually feel worse. I think I hold my body in a very rigid manner without even realizing it. I’m just SO SORE in a strange way that is even hard to describe. My chest, arms, neck and shoulder area all just hurt. I’m going to try to go to 9am yoga class tomorrow though so we will see how that goes. Thanks again for checking in and I hope you have a wonderful weekend. 🙏❤️

[MaryMoo429]

I have the worst anxiety/panic and insomnia right now for the second night in a row. I had to call out of work yesterday and think that I have to tomorrow as well as it’s 3am and I still haven’t slept. I’ve slept 4 hours in the last two days. I feel like I’m losing my mind and terrified of everything at the moment. I don’t know how I am going to get through this. I’m barely holding on and feeling myself about to crash and burn. 

[ChessieCat]

Morning: 375mg magnesium

 

Magnesium for anxiety works better if it is taken in smaller doses throughout the day.

 

Do you take a calcium supplement?  Calcium cancels out the calming effect of magnesium if taken at the same time.

 

magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker