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fantasticgiraffe: False memories/intrusive thoughts


fantasticgiraffe

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fantasticgiraffe

Has anyone had any experience with false memories and intrusive thoughts as a cognitive symptom of withdrawal? It's been one year since my last dose of Lexapro 20mg (after 13 years on the medication) and I'm having intense periods of sadness and derealization where I'm utterly convinced that something traumatuzing happened to me in my childhood. I don't necessarily have memories, moreso a deep deep pain revolving around shame and fear that I can't understand and yet somehow my brain contributes it to a certain event that I'm not even sure happened. I know repressed memories are possible, but considering I'm still experiencing withdrawal from Lexapro I'm thinking it could be a symtom of that. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Edited by manymoretodays

2006–2020 Lexapro 20mg (ages 12-26) 
April 2015-Dec 2015 fast taper off Lexapro from 20mg to 0
Dec 2015  back on Lexapro 20mg because of withdrawl symtoms (major depression, insomnia)
2017-2018  slow taper down to 5mg Lexparo 
2018-2019 stayed on Lexparo 5mg

2019-2020  slow taper from 5 to 0 mg Lexapro
Feb 2021 one year Lexapro-free (age 27)  

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  • manymoretodays changed the title to fantasticgiraffe: False memories/intrusive thoughts
  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Hi fantasticgiraffe, @fantasticgiraffe

I just went ahead and gave you an Introduction topic of your own.  I moved your post from symptoms and self care to here.

 

And yes, on the intrusive thoughts as a symptom of WD(withdrawal)

We've got a couple topics on that:

Withdrawal causing repetitive or intrusive thoughts.....

* Obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD: repetitive intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors

 

How did you do your taper?

Please summarize your withdrawal history in your signature to help us out

I just thought it might be interesting to find this out, how you did your taper and WD, so farl

And then wondered if you were on any other medications/drugs

 

The neuroemotions, as they are coined here can be tough:  Neuroemotions

 

I'm not finding much on repressed memories, but I suppose that could also a symptoms from the neuroemotions too.

There may be another member who has had a similar WD symptom.

 

Here's the list from Dr. Glenmullen:  Dr Joseph Glennmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

We do see all kinds of symptoms with WD though, some that may not be on the list.

 

And best.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays(mmt)

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
sophiaaa2

OMG to see someone write the same thing you’re feeling, is a bitter sweet feeling, good to not be alone in it but not so good to see that they are also experiencing a horrendous symptom, these particular false memories are awful and only show up every now and again, it’s terrifying because they make you question your entire

life and you become obsessed with the idea that they have meaning or exist in reality, when you really know it’s false. It’s scary and I’ve not seen anyone bring it up until now, I hope this is a normal thing and it just passes with everything else, I mean I guess it makes sense because absolutely everything is affected & distorted during this, I hope you’re well and things are improving!

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

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fantasticgiraffe

Hi sophiaaa2,

 

Quote

these particular false memories are awful and only show up every now and again, it’s terrifying because they make you question your entire

life and you become obsessed with the idea that they have meaning or exist in reality, when you really know it’s false.

EXACTLY!!! Oh, you've put it so so well! It's so great for me to hear you say this because I couldn't find any other mentions of false memories on this site. Ugh, and they felt SO real I was so sure that they happened.

 

I'm doing much better with the obsessive thoughts. The "memories" were an absolutely horrible distortion caused by withdrawal, depression, and a lack of sleep (thanks insomnia). I'd been experiencing these thoughts/fears for the past several months and became quite obsessed as I was trying to psycho-analyze myself, though it turned into a real issue when I began to see myself as broken. I'm happy to say I finally put things to rest by focusing on the present instead of the past and accepting my pain as it exists in the present. I'm trying my best to ease my insomnia.

 

As you said, I'm sad to hear you're experiencing the same issue but also so glad that someone else can understand. I hope you are well too, give yourself as much love as possible.

 

Hugs! 💟

2006–2020 Lexapro 20mg (ages 12-26) 
April 2015-Dec 2015 fast taper off Lexapro from 20mg to 0
Dec 2015  back on Lexapro 20mg because of withdrawl symtoms (major depression, insomnia)
2017-2018  slow taper down to 5mg Lexparo 
2018-2019 stayed on Lexparo 5mg

2019-2020  slow taper from 5 to 0 mg Lexapro
Feb 2021 one year Lexapro-free (age 27)  

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