Marta withdrawal nightmare

[marta92]

Hi I'm Marta from Italy

 

Here's my story

 

(19 years old) More or less 2011 Citalopram 20 mg one year for depression following stress by death of my mother quit cold Turkey

 

2012 rmore or less relapse depression after CT, new psychiatrist put me on Citalopram 20 mg, Depakin 300 mg, Efexxor 75 mg

Don't remember between 2016-2017 tapered over a few months all the drugs with the assistance of my psychologist 

 

2018 relapse depression started Cipralex 20 mg until july 2020 when I tapered during a period of about 4 months until November

2020

 

Today feeling depressed, can't sleep, anxiety, paranoia, agoraphobia, hardly functional

 

 

Hi guys this is my story I'm 29 now and it's 10 years I've entered the psychiatric nightmare because of ignorance and despair.

After finding this website I understand that what I'm living now is caused by years of music psychiatric drug that messed up my brain totally. I'm suffering beyond words I feel stuck I don't know what to do because I'd like to resist but everyday it becomes more unbearable and I don't know if I can resist 2 or 3 years or more as stated by other members to recovery.

I currently living with my father and his fiancee which is making things more difficult because my dad is on drugs too for depression and her fiancee can't take anymore the situation with both of use (I fear she could leave us soon if I keep staying like this).

I understand it is maybe too late to reinstate but I'm really stuck...what can I do? I'm writing out of desperation.

 

I appreciate your work.

[marta92]

Also if I don't show any improvement soon they will insist on putting me back on medication I don't think they would be agree with the idea of staying here for another to years to recover and watch me in this state. Also fear it would affect my dad's mental health too.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @marta92

 

It sounds like you went off Cipralex too fast and got withdrawal syndrome. One thing that may help is to reinstate a very low dose of Cipralex, such as 0.5mg. This may reduce the withdrawal symptoms. You would taper off by tiny amounts later. 

 

Escitalopram is available in liquid form so you can take a very small amount, or you can make you own liquid with a tablet and water. (You could also substitute escitalopram's milder sibling, citalopram.) This topic explains how to do it Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[marta92]

Hi @Altostrata

Thank you for your reply.

I have never taken the liquid dose of Cipralex.

Is one drop equivalent to 0.5?

I'm scared about doing it.

Plus I will have to do it without any support, since my psychiatrist, and family surely won't understand.

[Altostrata]

You will need to ask the pharmacist how much of the liquid to take for an 0.5mg dose.

[Yesyes123]

@marta92 I am also suffering because of Escitalopram, you are not alone. If you need to talk I am here. You will heal.

[marta92]

Hi I don't know if I can reinstate, it looks too complicated for me

Nobody believes me, My psychologist nor my psychiatrist

If I tell my family (dad and fiancee) that I wanna go through this withdrawal they will never understand and accept it.

I don't wanna see my friends I don't wanna work, I'm stuck.

I just keep thinking that it's impossible for me to go on 3 years of withdrawal nobody will support me and I don't know if I have the strenght. I'm miserable and feel my life is over, the other choice is to go back on the meds and so my life is ruined forever again!!

 

[Yesyes123]

@marta92 please hang in there!

 

It looks complicated at first but really, it isn't. You can ask the pharmacist about how to take a smaller dose.

 

If you start taking a very small amount of the med again, you will feel much better and then you can taper down veery slowly - this way you will be med free in the near future, and you won't have to deal with the insane withdrawal anymore. 

 

Also, your family will see that you are taking the med and they will have to support you.

 

If you absolutely can't get the 0.5mg dose because it's too complicated, you can get 5mg pills from Pharmacy and cut them in half - resulting in 2.5mg, then you cut that in half - and you will have 1.25mg pieces of pills that you can take daily. 

 

That could possibly make you feel a LOT better (the moderators will confirm this)

 

I am suffering a LOT too from these drugs. SO MANY PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD ARE! 

 

Sadly, most of them have no clue what it is, or what to do about it. Please be thankful that at the very least you found your way to SA and you have help!

 

Please keep posting here. I will be talking to you and helping all I can. 

 

Let's figure this out together, you are not alone in this! 

 

Soldier up, let's win this battle. You have your whole life ahead! And so do I. I'm only 21.

[marta92]

I was thinking that I have a precision scale so maybe I could take the Cipralex 10 mg as prescribed by my psychiatrist and scratch 0.5mg and drink it with some water.

Will it work? Are you sure that I'll find some relief from it?

@Altostrata

[marta92]

Also, my psychiatric would like me ti go back on Cipralex 10 mg this time but I don't know if it's a good idea I'm scared about what would happen at this point.

[Altostrata]

From what we've seen, you do not have to take as much as 10mg to reinstate. Yes, we have seen a small amount can be effective to reduce withdrawal symptoms -- or we would not suggest it!

 

3 hours ago, marta92 said:

I was thinking that I have a precision scale so maybe I could take the Cipralex 10 mg as prescribed by my psychiatrist and scratch 0.5mg and drink it with some water.

 

Not sure what you mean by scratch, but if you are able to weigh this out, this would be a way to measure a small amount. You will want to be consistent in your dosing so you can tell what causes what.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

[marta92]

11 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

From what we've seen, you do not have to take as much as 10mg to reinstate. Yes, we have seen a small amount can be effective to reduce withdrawal symptoms -- or we would not suggest it!

 

 

Not sure what you mean by scratch, but if you are able to weigh this out, this would be a way to measure a small amount. You will want to be consistent in your dosing so you can tell what causes what.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

 

Hi Altostrada.

I mean obtain some powder from the tablet using a knife, measuring it with the precise scale and drink it with water.

How long will it take to see improvements?

Thank you again.

I'll add my signature soon.

[Altostrata]

We have seen people have improvement fairly quickly, within a few days -- but it could take longer. A slight improvement is promising.

[marta92]

Hi @Altostrata I was wondering...

My full dose for Cipralex was 20 mg as for the past "cure"

Now I have a prescription for Cipralex 10 mg

Does it mean that to have the equivalent of 0.5 mg of Cipralex from my original dosage I should in reality double from the Cipralex 10 mg tablet and take 1 mg for the reinstate?

[marta92]

I'm sorry I know it's confusing but I'm having issues calculating the dose.

I repeat again.

If I have a tablet of Cipralex 10 mg and take some powder from it with a knife and measure it with a precise scale, how much should the powder weight to be 0.5 mg?

@Altostrata

Thank you

[Altostrata]

@brassmonkey will help you.

[Yesyes123]

Hi @marta92,

 

Do you have the scale in hands already? Are you ready to crush the pills and take them? 

 

I can help you get the calculations, I've been studying the topic extensively. (I'll post everything here publicly of course, so the mods can see it and confirm it's right.)

 

You should get size 0 or 00 Gelatin capsules and put the powder inside them, that's a better way than putting the powder in water. If you put it in water you might lose some in the bottom of the cup etc.

[marta92]

Well how do I get the capsules? I don't know if they will give them to me

[Yesyes123]

 

They look like this

 

You can get them probably at a local pharmacy, or maybe easier is there an online website in Italy like "eBay" or "Amazon" that sells pretty much everything?

 

 

[marta92]

Well it would mean waiting more days for Amazon to deliver them

[Yesyes123]

Can you go to a pharmacy? Also do you have the digital scale that can measure down to 0.001g already? It's important to use that scale and not any scale you might have at home

[marta92]

50 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

Can you go to a pharmacy? Also do you have the digital scale that can measure down to 0.001g already? It's important to use that scale and not any scale you might have at home

 

I can only measure down to 0.1 g but I think it's fine since I have to measure 0.5 g, no?

Tomorrow I will go to the pharmacy to get the Cipralex.

I'm writing in the middle of the night, I may have slept one hour tonight, terrible insomnia going on for many days.

[Yesyes123]

The insomnia will get better, try not to overthink it. I had really bad insomnia.

 

We are going to explain this better to you later,

 

but it's important you notice 0.5mg is the ACTIVE INGREDIENT value (the actual substance value) - the weight you will be measuring in the scale is NOT 0.5mg

 

0.5mg Active Ingredient will be something like 0.015g in ACTUAL WEIGHT in the scale (that you will measure)

 

You will need a PRECISION scale that weights down to 0.001g

 

This is one many members use:

https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM

 

Please post any other questions here and I will assist you the fastest I can. 

 

If you can, please check if you can get to a compouding pharmacy.

 

A compouding pharmacy will be able to make you custom made 0.5mg active ingredient pills (much easier than cutting the pills yourself)

 

You WILL MAKE IT! It only gets easier now.

 

 

[marta92]

12 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

The insomnia will get better, try not to overthink it. I had really bad insomnia.

 

We are going to explain this better to you later,

 

but it's important you notice 0.5mg is the ACTIVE INGREDIENT value (the actual substance value) - the weight you will be measuring in the scale is NOT 0.5mg

 

0.5mg Active Ingredient will be something like 0.015g in ACTUAL WEIGHT in the scale (that you will measure)

 

You will need a PRECISION scale that weights down to 0.001g

 

This is one many members use:

https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM

 

Please post any other questions here and I will assist you the fastest I can. 

 

If you can, please check if you can get to a compouding pharmacy.

 

A compouding pharmacy will be able to make you custom made 0.5mg active ingredient pills (much easier than cutting the pills yourself)

 

You WILL MAKE IT! It only gets easier now.

 

 

Oh my god I'm super confused

So I need a precision scale that weights do to 0.015 g and measure 0.015 g? That's the dose I need to take?

 

Plus I still don't understand if I need to tale that dose out of Cipralex 20 or Cipralex 10 g.

I only have a prescription for Cipralex 10 and I don't really feel like explaining all this stuff to my psychiatrist.

[Yesyes123]

Don't worry! You can use the 10mg Cipralex pill!

 

But, again, if you can go to a compouding pharmacy (the kind that makes the drugs you request at the dosage you request) it would be easier.

 

If you can't, you can still crush your pills and make your own dose.

 

It does seem very confusing at first, but in reality you will see it is VERY simple! 

 

It might take a week or more for you to really get a grasp on the methods and math,

 

But basically, you need to understand that the value of active ingredient in the pill AND the weight of the pill are two different things

 

If you will take 0.5mg active ingredient (as suggested by the mods) the weight will NOT be 0.5mg. It will actually be something closer to 15mg (this is an estimate based on the weight I saw for a 10mg Cipralex pill) 

 

mg = milligrams 

g = grams

15mg = 0.015g

 

We use grams here and not milligrams because the scales we will use measure in grams - that being said, to measure 15mg you will measure 0.015g on the scale.

 

If you are still lost, don't worry - I was very lost a few weeks ago too. And now I know my way around this.

[marta92]

1 minute ago, Yesyes123 said:

It does seem very confusing at first, but in reality you will see it is VERY simple! 

 

It might take a week or more for you to really get a grasp on the methods and math,

 

But basically, you need to understand that the value of active ingredient in the pill AND the weight of the pill are two different things

 

If you will take 0.5mg, the weight will NOT be 0.5mg. It will actually be something closer to 15mg

 

mg = milligrams 

g = grams

15mg = 0.015g

 

We use grams here and not milligrams because the scales we will use measure in grams - that being said, to measure 15mg you will measure 0.015g on the scale.

 

If you are still lost, don't worry - I was very lost a few weeks ago too. And now I know my way around this.

Still don't understanding. 

I have to take a 0.5 dose.

What amount will it be on the scale?

[Yesyes123]

52 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM

 

Firstly, please check this link

 

You will need either this exact scale, or a similar one that can measure down to 0.001g.

 

 

[Yesyes123]

1 minute ago, marta92 said:

Still don't understanding. 

I have to take a 0.5 dose.

What amount will it be on the scale?

 

I can't tell you the exact value right now, as I would need to first measure how much a full 10mg Cipralex pill weights to see how much the weight of a 0.5mg dose would be.

 

But don't worry, me and the mods will help you figure all out.

[Yesyes123]

Please tell me this - are you familiar with what a compounding pharmacy does? It's the kind of pharmacy that makes the drugs at the dosage you request.

 

If you can't get the scale, or the process is way too complicated for you to do yourself, you will still have options

 

To summarize, here are your options right now:

 

1. Get precision scale that measures down to 0.001g and crush your 10mg Cipralex pill to powder and do the calculations to take 0.5mg (you will learn exactly how to, and we will help you)

 

2. Get compounding pharmacy to make you 0.5mg Cipralex pills

 

3. Reinstate at some other value, like cutting a 10mg pill in half (5mg) then half again (2.5mg) then half again (1.25mg)

 

You could also reinstate at a slightly higher dosage than the mods recommend here, if you ABSOLUTELY can't do the other methods.

 

I too quit Escitalopram (Cipralex) and was off for about 2 months, then I reinstated 10mg (NOT RECOMMENDED - YOU SHOULD REINSTATE VERY SMALL DOSES) 

 

I felt terrible at first but now after a few months I am MUCH better (pretty much stable).

[marta92]

1 minute ago, Yesyes123 said:

Please tell me this - are you familiar with what a compounding pharmacy does? It's the kind of pharmacy that makes the drugs at the dosage you request.

 

If you can't get the scale, or the process is way too complicated for you to do yourself, you will still have options

 

You could also reinstate at a slightly higher dosage than the mods recommend here, if you ABSOLUTELY can't do the other methods.

 

I too quit Escitalopram (Cipralex) and was off for about 2 months, then I reinstated 10mg (NOT RECOMMENDED - YOU SHOULD REINSTATE VERY SMALL DOSES) 

 

I felt terrible at first but now after a few months I am MUCH better (pretty much stable).

I'm sorry but there is no compound pharmacy here so I can't do that.

I've never been good at maths and in this state it's even more difficult to me.

I've already ordered the scale on Amazon, I just need someone to tell me how much should be the weight on the scale.

I feel desperate, my life is crushing down.

[Yesyes123]

 

Just now, marta92 said:

I'm sorry but there is no compound pharmacy here so I can't do that.

I've never been good at maths and in this state it's even more difficult to me.

I've already ordered the scale on Amazon, I just need someone to tell me how much should be the weight on the scale.

I feel desperate, my life is crushing down

 

I know exactly how you feel.

 

I wanted to kill myself about 3-4 months ago. I really did. It was that bad.

 

But please just hang on. 

 

This is the WORST PART.

 

Once you find your way around things, it will be much easier.

 

2 minutes ago, marta92 said:

I've already ordered the scale on Amazon

 

Ok, how long until it arrives?

[marta92]

16 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

Don't worry! You can use the 10mg Cipralex pill!

 

But, again, if you can go to a compouding pharmacy (the kind that makes the drugs you request at the dosage you request) it would be easier.

 

If you can't, you can still crush your pills and make your own dose.

 

It does seem very confusing at first, but in reality you will see it is VERY simple! 

 

It might take a week or more for you to really get a grasp on the methods and math,

 

But basically, you need to understand that the value of active ingredient in the pill AND the weight of the pill are two different things

 

If you will take 0.5mg active ingredient (as suggested by the mods) the weight will NOT be 0.5mg. It will actually be something closer to 15mg (this is an estimate based on the weight I saw for a 10mg Cipralex pill) 

 

mg = milligrams 

g = grams

15mg = 0.015g

 

We use grams here and not milligrams because the scales we will use measure in grams - that being said, to measure 15mg you will measure 0.015g on the scale.

 

If you are still lost, don't worry - I was very lost a few weeks ago too. And now I know my way around this.

The scale will arrive tomorrow.

I will go to the pharmacy too and start the reinstate on Thursday morning.

 

So it is my understanding that if I want 0.5 mg active ingredient I need to measure 0.015g of the pill on the scale.

Still don't understand if I can do it with the Cipralex 10 prescription that I have or if it should be Cipralex 20

[Yesyes123]

I'll have to go to sleep soon but I'm sure soon other mods will come to help you and confirm the things I wrote. And I will come back tomorrow to further assist you.

 

Please be happy that you found SA. Most people who go through this have no idea what it is and end up either dying or in a crazy cocktail of drugs that the psychiatrist puts them on.

[Yesyes123]

1 minute ago, marta92 said:

The scale will arrive tomorrow.

 Great! I am still waiting for my scale which will take about 1 month...

 

1 minute ago, marta92 said:

So it is my understanding that if I want 0.5 mg active ingredient I need to measure 0.015g of the pill on the scale.

Still don't understand if I can do it with the Cipralex 10 prescription that I have or if it should be Cipralex 20

 

You can use the 10mg prescription.

 

Once you have the 10mg pill and the scale in hands, you will tell us how much the 10mg pill weights and then we will tell you the exact value to measure on the scale.

 

I am pretty sure it will be around 0.015g on the scale screen, but we have to check and confirm this still.

[marta92]

8 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

I'll have to go to sleep soon but I'm sure soon other mods will come to help you and confirm the things I wrote. And I will come back tomorrow to further assist you.

 

Please be happy that you found SA. Most people who go through this have no idea what it is and end up either dying or in a crazy cocktail of drugs that the psychiatrist puts them on.

Well I don't know if I can go through this.

Three, four years...the consequences of this process on my family (which don't understand), my private and working life look unbearable at the moment 

[Yesyes123]

Listen, it will not be that long.

 

You are EXTREMELY LUCKY to have found SA in time to reinstate.

 

Once you reinstate you might feel MUCH BETTER in like 2 days. Or maybe it might take a little longer, but it has every chance to work very fast.

 

Remain calm, listen to what the mods say here, reinsate a small dose, you'll be fine.

 

if you had waited a few more months to reinstate, the chance of it working would be low, and then you would have to go through the long process of withdrawal. Not your case.