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Fallensoul: introducing my story, a fallen soul, when happiness turns into horror

Fallensoul

By Fallensoul,
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Fallensoul

Fallensoul

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Today extremely stressed, nervous and much tension. Time to take a brake in tapering and let the body adjust for 1 or 2 weeks. Awfull, every sound is to much :(

1998-2020 Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week
2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct
2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Addition Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct
2020/08       Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine upped to 50mg 

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night

2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3, 2021/04/18 M 2,4

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PerAsperaAdAstra

Hi @Fallensoul! I'm also tapering off of Seroxat so I'm following.   You're using quite a hefty combination of medications: Mirtazipine, Seroxat, Clomipramine and Lorazepam. I'm just a layma

PerAsperaAdAstra

And another thing to consider is your use of L-Tyrosine. It has an effect on your thyroid, which in turn may cause fatigue.   Other than that I really hope that you'll start feeling better w

Gridley

Fatigue is a very common withdrawal symptom (I have it myself) and can occur at any point in the withdrawal process.

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Erell

Erell

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Sorry to hear about your issues : when I find that sounds are too much, I often like to spend some time in a dark room.

Might sound silly as it's about light, but I find that it helps with overstimulation.

This and taking deep belly breath and visualising myself healed, happy, at peace 🙃

 

Take care 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Fallensoul

Fallensoul

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^ Thanks, well I have to much motivation to retrieve in a dark room ;), and the weather was also very nice today here in Holland, so took some natural vit D.
I aslo have breathing OCD, so avoid breathing techniques when I'm in this state.


Sometimes I have a feeling the time arrived to break free from this, but it just not happened yet, I still have to much disruption in my mind/CNS to get functioning again, and I also want to work badly, but I cann't, the stress is still to big.  Well at least anxity and depression hass lessend in fact are mostly gone, but the CNS is still chaos with lots of restlessness, nervous etc. You probably know it to well too.

Stay strong too and hopefully you wil notice improvements soon. 

1

1998-2020 Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week
2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct
2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Addition Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct
2020/08       Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine upped to 50mg 

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night

2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3, 2021/04/18 M 2,4

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Erell

Erell

Posted
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Posted

Oh I'm so glad to read that anxiety and depression are giving you a break, and that you managed to enjoy the sun today, Spring is definitely coming ☀️

 

About breathing OCD, I understand  : during my benzo taper I had a lot of anxious thoughts about my breath, and relaxation techniques/focusing on my breath was stressfull.

But guess what ? It disappeared after my Prazepam taper and now I can focus on my breath.

Things do change ❤

 

Take care 

1

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Fallensoul

Fallensoul

Posted
  • Author
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Correct, when I'm in a window it doesn't border me at all. It's only when I'm uping/tapering or changing AD's this comes up. Its all drug induced.
Good to hear it's gone, its the last really tough mental issue I still face today and I'm wondering if I gonna take therapy for it. I think it won't help and isn't neccesary when eventually out of WD.

1998-2020 Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week
2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct
2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Addition Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct
2020/08       Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine upped to 50mg 

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night

2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3, 2021/04/18 M 2,4

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Fallensoul

Fallensoul

Posted
  • Author
Posted

After the extreme tension and stress, now exhausted again mentally and physically, totally empty...

It seems a pattern after every taper cycle.

Do I taper to fast?

 

I taper paroxetine at 2%/week, benzo at 10%/month, clomipramine on hold for now, or extreme slowly to 20 and stay there for a while.

Mirt with 2-5%/month.

1998-2020 Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week
2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct
2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Addition Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct
2020/08       Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine upped to 50mg 

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night

2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3, 2021/04/18 M 2,4

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