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Ugly feet


Gardenlife

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Gardenlife

I have ugly feet, I promise this is going somewhere. I have ugly feet because I walk barefoot a lot. They are practical and useful but they ain’t pretty.

Last year, one of the cracks on my heel got deeper and started to hurt. I tried to not walk on it. I tried covering it with a bandaid and keeping ointment on it but it just wouldn’t heal. I went to the doctor and she wanted me to sand down my heel and apply lanolin on my feet. I said, okay, knowing damn well I wasn’t going to do that. My feet needed to be tough! They needed that extra layer of hard skin. So I waited it out. I took the best care I could of my foot and it hurt to walk on sometimes but eventually, it healed. 
Our brains will heal. But it might take a while and everyone’s situation is different. We can’t just stopping using our brains just like I couldn’t stop walking on my heal. And every time I thought it was getting better and hurt less, I’d take less care of it and it would open back up.
After I had a c-section, I was told to rest, not walk up stairs, not drive, etc. If I did too much, I could rip the incision back open. 

We can not stop using our nervous system and brain. We use it more than anything else. But we can try and reduce stress. Easier said than done though. Maybe someone who doesn’t work and spends their time lounging on a beach all day long would heal from antidepressants faster than someone who is a firefighter in the city or someone who is in an abusive relationship. Because that person gets to rest it’s brain! 
My point of this is that healing is possible but it is different for every person so we can’t possibly compare. Let’s all give ourselves some grace. It is freaking hard and it feels impossible. But its not. It’s just going to suck for a bit. 
Try to not take on any extra stressors like getting pregnant, getting married, buying a house, switching jobs (unless it’s a less stressful one)etc, etc. Take this time to be gentle on your brain. Nurse her. Treat her good. Eat good stuff. Don’t feed her drugs and alcohol. Give her nutrients and rest the best we can. It will suck so bad, and then it will suck not as bad, and then it will suck a little less, and less until it doesn’t suck and it’s just ok, and then it will be not too shabby, and then better. 
Withdrawal is a b**** but at least we are trying! 

Age 14-24 Celexa.    Stopped Celexa in May age 24, after a 1 year long taper done by myself

Age 24-28 Back on Celexa in September Age 24 until Age 28, May, stopped Celexa after another 1 year long taper by myself.

Age 29.  November- started Celexa 1 month after giving birth

Age 31   May- stopped Celexa after 1 year long taper. 

Age 34  April- started Celexa after shots of steroids in my back. 

Age 35  June- stopped Celexa semi cold turkey

Age 35   September- started Lexapro 15mg

Age 36   November 5th- went down to 12.5mg for a week, then 10mg.

 Age 37  December 5th- went down to 7.5mg for a week, then 5mg. January 22nd- 0mg

I am taking around 800mg of Magnesium Glycinate, 500mg of Magnesium L-Threonate, Vitamin D 2,000, Tumeric, Vital Biome Gut Microbiome Support, 99mg Potassium, 1,333mcg Methylfolate, ProBio 5. I also take Juice Plus supplements. Green tea every AM

Rarely gluten, dairy, added sugars. No alcohol or drug use.  Organic, whole foods, active lifestyle

 

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BooBoo19

Lovely and inspirational - Thank you!!

November 2015 0 15mg Mirtazapine for 5 weeks and GP changed me to Effexor 150mg titrated up slowly as very sensitive.  Change was due to GP worried about weight gain on Mirtazapine.

 

Started to wean off Effexor over 16 months period and I had no issues at all. Stopped June 2020.  Unfortunately, I was under chronic stress from 4 deaths (1 was my mother) in the family amongst other things  and sunk back down in October 2020.  Rather than accepting this was chronic stress and grief, I panicked and went to GP.

 

October 2020 prescribed Vortioxetine 10mg for 1 month and then increased to 15 mg on for 7 weeks in total.  Had suicidal thoughts and off the wall anxiety.  Changed to Lexapro in mid December 2020, slow titration from 2.5mg up to 10mg.  After 7 weeks again off the wall anxiety, I did have side effects on all drugs from starting to take them.  I decided to go 'au natural', GP advised to 'lets get it out of your system.' I did 1 week at 5mg and stopped.  Last med was 02 February 2021.  

 

I honestly did not realise after a short period of time I would experience such high anxiety, suicidal thoughts etc.  I was prescribed Diazepam to manage the symptoms but have only taken 3 when absolutely desperate.

I exercise, cold water swim and take magnesium, st Johns wort, valerian, VIt D and B12 and Omega 3.

 

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Gardenlife

Thanks!

 

Age 14-24 Celexa.    Stopped Celexa in May age 24, after a 1 year long taper done by myself

Age 24-28 Back on Celexa in September Age 24 until Age 28, May, stopped Celexa after another 1 year long taper by myself.

Age 29.  November- started Celexa 1 month after giving birth

Age 31   May- stopped Celexa after 1 year long taper. 

Age 34  April- started Celexa after shots of steroids in my back. 

Age 35  June- stopped Celexa semi cold turkey

Age 35   September- started Lexapro 15mg

Age 36   November 5th- went down to 12.5mg for a week, then 10mg.

 Age 37  December 5th- went down to 7.5mg for a week, then 5mg. January 22nd- 0mg

I am taking around 800mg of Magnesium Glycinate, 500mg of Magnesium L-Threonate, Vitamin D 2,000, Tumeric, Vital Biome Gut Microbiome Support, 99mg Potassium, 1,333mcg Methylfolate, ProBio 5. I also take Juice Plus supplements. Green tea every AM

Rarely gluten, dairy, added sugars. No alcohol or drug use.  Organic, whole foods, active lifestyle

 

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Lovely analogy GardenLife, and even lovelier to read. I just wish I could be as tough as your foot!

Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

 

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

 

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

 

Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight.

 

Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

 

Drug free.

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