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New here and need advice/resources/support


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Hello all.  My name is Anna and I'm a new member.  I'm here because my husband has within the last 6-7 months done a complete 180.  He began an affair with our realtor in September (minor, just kissing and lunch dates he says).  In January he revealed this to me during a conversation that began with him stating he no longer thought we were "compatible."  Over the next 72ish hours he decided (with no outside input professionally or personally speaking) that he was "done."  I tried everything I could think of to get him to reconsider, mainly advocating for our two young boys and how this decision would affect them.  He asked for space, which I gave him over 8 weeks.  Following another poor choice I decided it was time to talk to him again.  I encouraged him to go to counseling with me, if not for our marriage, then for him and our kids.  During the course of those conversations there was no emotion, no remorse, nothing.  Even at the mention of him telling our kids he wanted to walk away from all of us.  It was like talking to shell of a person, a robot.  He has no hope, no vision for the future.  He also couldn't remember what he felt during key, beautiful moments of our love story.  It's as if those memories have been wiped or distorted.


After sharing this with  my sister in law and mother in law, who've noticed the same withdrawn, detached behaviors, they encouraged me to look at the side effects of his prescribed anti-anxiety medications, Klonopin and Lexapro.  After days of research I'm convinced this is what is affecting his decision making, his emotions, etc.


I'm so new to this so I have many questions.  I'll try to keep them brief.  What rights do I have to speak with his doctor?  Does he need to agree for me to join him at his appointment?  Can I advocate on his behalf without him being present?  What is the best way to approach this subject with my husband?  He has ups and downs, should I wait for the next "up?"  His prescriptions say "no refills."  Does this mean he has to go back to the doctor before getting more?  How can I help him and his doctor understand the depth of what's going on and that there is hope?


I don't want to leave him, I don't want divorce.  I want to fight for our marriage.  While this possibility doesn't excuse his behaviors over the last six months it certainly sheds a new light on things.  I'm understanding now that he may have been powerless to stop what this medication is doing to him.


If anyone has reputable research, articles, accounts etc. that'd be greatly appreciated.  He's normally a very thoughtful, cautious, detail-oriented person so I think a logical and factual approach will help.


Thank you all in advance.

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