Phoenixmama: cold turkey after 3 weeks on Celexa

[Greatful]

@Phoenixmama  I am not sure about the food.  I eat a lot of dairy.  I am going to try and limit it more.  It kind of makes me crabby that we are so tired of being in pain that we are scared to even eat.  My appetite is bad and I have nausea, so now I have to watch what I eat, when I was lucky to eat anything UGH. 

[Phoenixmama]

When I had the nausea, I use to drink lemonade but that was before I knew I should only drink water , it worked for me and I miss it I wish I could find an alternative 

[Phoenixmama]

today my head is all mixed up , just got to work and i just want to leave... this wave is not letting up.... the only thing thats getting me by is reminding myself that this is healing and soon i will get some relief.... all i can do is cry , and feel doomed i try to change the channel or think positive but its like i dont have control over this.... 

 

how do people survive ???? 

[Phoenixmama]

@Surviving82 how are you 

[Greatful]

@Phoenixmama I feel like I am in the same boat.  Went through days of high anxiety and depression, brain doesn't want to work right, now my mood is changing over to anger and panic. 

We survive by taking one day at a time and reaching out for support.

 

I ordered some plant based protein I think it is Garden Of Eden.  I am going to make smoothies with some veggies (spinach and Kale?) fruit and almond milk.  Try and eat more whole foods.  We'll see how it goes.  Cosco usually has organic frozen fruit.  

 

Hang in there things will get better♥️

Time marches weather we are in pain or not

 

 

[Phoenixmama]

@Greatful i just have eyes full of tears this week while working...sometimes my mind tells me that this will never end and everyone says im healing but i feel like they say it just so i can get by , and that ill be stuck like this... but i do remember my window and i remember thinking about when i feel the doomed feeling and i think oh how stupid was i to think that they are lying to me..... does that make sense ??? for the first time in withdraw , i had the thought of maybe i do need ssri's , thats how down i am , but i hate ssri's and i had an adverse reaction to them so why am i even considering taking them... i guess this is just a strong wave and that means my brain and body are doing some strong healing , another thing i guess i am so tired and weak in this wave that i even had si and for me thats my biggest fear is to leave my children, so i know that is not me 

 

iam due for my monthly cycle on saturday , and there is a change i maybe pregnant fingers crossed im not but maybe this strong wave is due to hormonal issues 

[Greatful]

@Phoenixmama I'm sorry you having a rough time.  I know hard it is, si can hound you. Can you try and float past the thought  If you fight it, it will feel stronger.  I know how scary the thought is.  Remember it is just a thought, let it come in and go out.  I will have to practice it myself today.

You have had window recently and it will come again.  

Get through today and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

 

Take care

Here is a hug🤗

[Phoenixmama]

thank you @Greatful ❤️

[Phoenixmama]

this wave is not allowing me to float or anything , thoughts and feeling are killing me 💔

[Hanna72]

I am so sorry @Phoenixmamathat you are having a hard time. The waves are hard I know.

Have you explored some coping skills,? It’s really beneficial for us while we go through this.

Have you ever listened to Eckhart Tolle? He teaches you to practice staying in the present moment. He has been a great help for me. He has many videos on YouTube. 
Also if you listen to audiobooks he has 2 really good books, The power of now and A new earth.  Highly recommend.

Practicing  awareness and meditation is really helpful.

There are many guided meditation on YouTube.

Meditation is  not about having no thoughts or disregarding our feelings, rather noticing them without reactions and not identifying with them.

Imagine yourself being outside in the middle of a storm, see how different it would be if you were sitting inside a house instead watching the storm. 
That’s the difference with identifying strongly with the thought or feelings ( being in the storm) and just stepping back and witnessing the feeling or thought from a distance ( watching through a window) This is a very good practice if you can take a little time, can be just for a few seconds daily,  noticing when those thoughts come and see they are not you and your whole identity.

You can do this, just don’t focus to much on withdrawal, put your attention towards positive thoughts, it will make you feel so much better, if you can’t, then fake it till you make it😉

Hugs💕

 

[Phoenixmama]

Thank you @Hanna72 I will look into everything you suggested , I’m just confused , I’m trying to figure out if at this point were I can’t stand it is the wave and the ok days are the windows ? Like are my windows longer then my waves ? Or is this from my menstrual cycle hormones , if I could figure this out it would probably be easier for me to not over react 

 

oh and is the part we’re I have like wave symptoms the slowly get worse and peak is that a whole wave ugggghhhh 😖

[Hanna72]

I know it’s hard and there is no actual pattern with windows and waves. It’s very individual.

I think you are over thinking this to the point it’s not going to benefit  you, just the opposite. When I started this journey I too was constantly obsessed with this process, and it only made things worse so I totally get were you are coming from.

Hormonal changes can have impact on how we feel and during that time can be harder.

But know this, it will pass dear, you just need to hang in there and in the meantime don’t give these thoughts so much power.

Practice coping skills.

You are stronger  then you think and more capable then you ever realise. 🙏

 

[Phoenixmama]

Thank you @Hanna72 I will try now , it’s just when it peaks I feel so pressed and squeezed that I start obsessing and when in the wave everything goes out the window and I can not see the bigger picture 

[Phoenixmama]

Ok ok finally it has loosened its grips on me , feeeew that was a tuff..... worse one yet , thank you to everyone who reached out , I owe you so much more then words 💕💕🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[Phoenixmama]

Now I’m left with this , dizzy unwell feeling , almost like a early stage pregnancy but I really don’t think I’m pregnant.... has anyone had this I’m afraid to walk around , menstrual cycle hasn’t started yet but should in the next two days , does this sound like withdraw for a woman ???  Or should I go to the hospital 

[Phoenixmama]

I'm changing the channel and soon as i do it comes right back, i guess this is that part that i read about " 1 step forward 5 steps back " 

 

i cant even feel the little glimmers of hope that i use to in past waves , i keep trying to spark those but i get nothing.. not even the success stories are helping this time.....  im like numb 

[Phoenixmama]

Period 

heavy flow 

squeezing brain in the back

i feel like I’m disconnected from my self 

anxiety 

don’t want to be alone 

but I’m getting through , although I’m scared I know this will pass and I’ll be able to breathe again 

 

[Greatful]

@Phoenixmama

Hang in there💪

[Phoenixmama]

sunday was not that bad , but i was distracted , i went to a baby shower at the marina , it was nice weather and i got to watch my daughter smile and run and call out mommy mommy look what i can do... so many feelings and thoughts but i just dealt with them , i was sad inside still wondering how long i will be alive to enjoy days like these with her if i dont make it in withdraw , i hate those thoughts, i want to be fixed i want my life back... ive been through a lot in my life already , 2002 my sons father was murdered , my grandfather passed away, i was in a 18 year realationship with my two last kids father and he was a narrisist and always cheating and in and out of prison , then i broke free from mhim reunited with my first love after 20 years and he had leukimia and passed away after a year , that was last aug 2020., the next month i ate a piece of cake that had thc in it and i wasnt aware of that ( i dont do any drugs) and that caused me a seizure , then dec i started to have alot of stress and stupidly took the pills my gp handed me and had an adverse reaction to them and now im here even after all the death and heart ache from the cheating , this withdraw by far is the worse thing ive been through, in my life ... im tired and i feel broken 💔 

 

maybe im feeling sorry for myself , maybe i just been through a lot idk 

[Paxil3days]

@Phoenixmama I agree with and feel the same about this withdrawal adverse reaction thing …. Worst inhuman experience ever!!!!!

[Phoenixmama]

sitting at my desk balling my eyes out @Paxil3days ive lost hope , pray for me

[Paxil3days]

@Phoenixmama please hang in there …. All we know from recovery is Time seems to be the healer… no matter how hard and hopeless this can be

[Greatful]

@Phoenixmama  I am so sorry read about your hard ships.  That is a lot for one person to go through.  You know you will make it through this one to.  You are stronger than you think.  

You are doing great

[Phoenixmama]

@Greatful thank you ❤️

[getofflex]

19 hours ago, Phoenixmama said:

sitting at my desk balling my eyes out @Paxil3days ive lost hope , pray for me

Please try to hang on to hope.  These drugs make major changes to our nervous system that takes months to years to recover from, especial when we discontinue the drugs abruptly.  It takes time, but we will recover as long as we take care of ourselves.  Here are some things that might help: 

 

Neuro-Emotions

 

19 hours ago, Phoenixmama said:

maybe im feeling sorry for myself

Since you mentioned it, try taking a look at this: 

 

Getting Past Self Pity

 

I'm praying for you.  You've been through a hell of a lot.  I've also been through a great deal in my own life.  Maybe someday I'll post about it.  

[Rosetta]

Hi.  A lot of feelings about the past are dredged up during withdrawal.  It’s very painful.

 

Rosetta

[Phoenixmama]

hi @Rosetta❤️

[MoonFlower]

Hi,

thanks for your support. It means a lot.

I see that you can sleep and rest so I would not be too worry for you, you will heal.

If I could give advice, it would be not worrying and feed on positive emotions. I know it's terribly hard when you can't live your life like you use to. And those crazy emotions that comes from no where, we need to not give them attention. 

 

Because those withdrawals are the nervous system being sensitize, so I think the fastest way to heal is just do like someone would do in a burn out. Like take things slowly and really relax the more you can to reset the nervous system. If you can take a few months off your job you might get back up faster. Or might not, sadly there's nothing sure with waves and windows but I would give it a try if it something possible.

 

Avoid all vitamins and medication, any medication if you can. For me I never took the chance to drink back as it was sending me back in waves for 3 weeks! Was not worth it, but eventually you will be feeling good enough to get ice cream. It seems crazy, I use to think life without alcohol was not worth it. Well now I just wished I could come around. 

 

You saw my profile, so yes there is way to make yourself worst than the initial reaction. Believe it or not, I was a normal functional person before SSRI adverse reaction, just had joint pain and dr suggested it could be anxiety and I was pretty stressed at the time. And now I ended up in a dead end. 

 

So take care of yourself, you will get back to fully yourself and avoiding things that trigger the nervous system, like lights sounds, horror, news, etc. will make you heal faster. But never forget you might stay more fragile to stress as long as it is not completely healed. Enjoy every little moment. 

[Phoenixmama]

@MoonFlower thank you thank you thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Phoenixmama]

So I’m wondering if I suffered a set back with the fireworks on forth of July , or was it my period ? Because I noticed I’m back to falling asleep and waking up every hour feeling like I slept for 5 and also the sweating upon waking up is back and I haven’t gone through this in like 3 months.... or is this just my wave changing... I’m not in a huge wave like last week but I am in one 

[Phoenixmama]

Before the forth of July fire works I was sleeping from 10pm to 2am right back to sleep and sleep till 6:30am without so much dreaming , now I’m dreaming a lot again 

[Phoenixmama]

@moonflower i tried sending you a private message says you cant receive any 

[Phoenixmama]

About the cuddling and hugs.....i totally know this feeling and the power it has when doing it , its how i got through the first three months and then boom after the 4th of july and my period  i noticed it faded , i cant feel the safety and healing feeling connecting to my bf like i use to , i could be going through a wave and boom he'll text and i felt better or just the thought of him and i couldnt wait till friday came around because i knew i would feel so good being around him and him hugging me , it was like all my symptoms went away when i was with him , now thats gone and im scared it wont come back... also i had the worse period this month and it just ended on monday so im hoping my feelings come back for him , i know i love him but its like im numb or something @MoonFlower

[Phoenixmama]

nausea

inner anxiety 

sadness ( will this be forever)

 

[Phoenixmama]

@Hanna72 hi so today and lately I’ve been making the mistake of going through other members story’s and came across good one that seemed to be healing and the then nothing and then found out that person committed suicide and that really tore me up and sent me into a deep sad dark scared place I couldn’t get any relief , so I started listening to the guy you told me to listen to and it helped me , and I’m so thankful for your idea for me to listen to him , I really feel that it can help me , I listened with my ear phones covered my eyes and took everything in that i could for and hour ... and I feel much better and I want to say thank you 🙏🏼 Thank you so much 

[Greatful]

@Phoenixmama  Who did you listen to?  It is good that it helped you.