Phoenixmama: cold turkey after 3 weeks on Celexa

[Phoenixmama]

Ok that feeling only lasted about 20 minutes 🤣😫 but it was nice , so much clarity and positive feelings and grounded , I wouldn’t say I Was miserable after , I felt ok just not as uplifted as I was for that 20 minutes.... 😅🎢

[Phoenixmama]

Anyone ever had a headache in the back of your head and like a squeezing feeling on the back of your brain and memory loss like keep for getting what you where going to do next ? PLEASE HELP  this is scaring me , wondering should I go to the hospital 

[Phoenixmama]

Now I’m laying down and feeling very hopeless and down , not sure if something is happening to me , I feel

so scared , am I going to have a stroke , the back of my brain is squeezing and burning and my mind is not functioning like it was , anyone any help would be appreciated 

[Phoenixmama]

Headache 

nausea 

heavy body 

no appetite 

hard to breathe 

scared 

feeling like I’m not ever going to get through this. 
also on my period and it’s very heavy but I never felt like this in withdraw before , I feel like something is going to happen to me , am I going crazy , I never freaked out this bad 

[Phoenixmama]

My emotions and mental have not been like this in any wave ☹️

[Rosetta]

Ooh.  Ok.  I very seriously doubt you are having a stroke.  Your brain isn’t what you are feeling.  The muscles all around your skull are doing funny things, and your brain is telling you things that are not actually happening.  I know it’s very distressing.

[Rosetta]

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/10914-what-is-happening-in-your-brain/

This will explain why we have very odd symptoms.
 

I thought I was having a stroke, too, and the urgent care doctor said I wasn’t, but that was hard to believe.  One whole side of my face was numb, and my arm was numb — for months it came and went.

[Phoenixmama]

Ok @roestta I never felt anything like this in my life , it was so heavy today in a different way felt like I was dying 

[Lostinwonderland]

I have the same thing from 2 weeks of celexa

 

[Phoenixmama]

Today all I can do is cry @Lostinwonderland and it hurts more because my daughter is curious why mama is crying so much , this wave is different and strong 

[getofflex]

18 hours ago, Phoenixmama said:

feeling like I’m not ever going to get through this. 
also on my period and it’s very heavy but I never felt like this in withdraw before , I feel like something is going to happen to me , am I going crazy , I never freaked out this bad 

It sounds like you are having panic attack.  Here are some links to help with panic and anxiety: 

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes
 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

We tend to get anxious about our anxiety, which creates a downward spiral.  If we can be less anxious about being anxious, that can help to reduce it quite a bit.  

[Phoenixmama]

i slept fine last night , woke up fine , but still feel out of it , drove to work got here and all i feel like doing is crying , how will i survive this ? i almost want to quit my job but i am a single mother and live in the bay area where i need this kind of money i make to survive here , I am so exhausted mentally emotionally and physically.... i don't believe ive had a window in a while i think i just have times were i can get through a certain time of the day... its like coming up for air while slowly drowning... at this point i  feel like I'm going to lose everything in my life..... and I'm going to be stuck like this...   i don't wanna lose everything and i have no one to lean on 

[jozeff]

Hi Phoenix mama,

 

You are very probably not having a stroke! Adverse reactions or wd symptoms are absolute evil. You have used ssri for a very short time so I believe you will heal and it will not take years I think.

 

I recognize  all your symptoms  unfortunately.  Sometimes it feels like dying. I went to hospital twice with heart problems. It turned out to be panick, misery, high blood pressure.... next day everything was back to normal.

 

You have to be strong and realize that this is temporary  and is probably not dangerous. Your brain is messing with you and that can be an evil thing.

 

Hope you are getting better soon!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

 

[Phoenixmama]

thank you for your reply 🙏

[Phoenixmama]

I’ve been wondering all morning why my waves symptoms changed all the sudden and I tried to remember if I did anything different, the only thing I can think of is I started taking iron supplements not the whole pill but a piece of it and I was on my woman monthly thing. Could iron supplements cause my wave symptoms to change or are these just my new set of wave symptoms? I don’t remember ever feeling this bad , unless that’s a thing that we do , we forget how bad we actually felt in some waves and think this new one is the worse , please some help please I would appreciate it ... I’m wondering if I should bring out my puzzles and coloring books again to occupy me like I did in the beginning of withdraw .... 

 

 

[Phoenixmama]

 

 

 

[Phoenixmama]

@rosetta hello I curious if the feeling of starting over with symptoms that I had in the beginning of withdraw means I’ve set myself back some how 

irritable 

nausea 

doom 

no appetite 

anxiety 

the evening goodness is gone 

dread feeling 

crying spells 

and mental emotions 

 

this is all so hard and unbearable , just last week I was in a better more tolerable place 

or is this just a wave but with old symptoms 

 

[Rosetta]

You are correct.  Your symptoms will come and go.  Having symptoms from the beginning of WD does not mean that something went wrong.  It’s possible that the iron supplement changed your progress, but we can’t be sure.  Sometimes, you will have a wave that is worse than the last one even if you change nothing. 
 

It’s also true that each wave will feel terrible for a while and the slow improvement from wave to wave is so slight that you will not recognize it from one wave to the next.  You may not recognize it for three or four waves or more.  After a few weeks or months, you will be able to see that your waves are less intense than they were before.  If you don’t, that could mean that you made a mistake or it could mean that your improvement is right around the corner.

 

I noticed that my waves would peak, and I would try not to share every step of the way toward that peak.  Eventually, I 

would write a post about feeling so bad that I couldn’t stand it another day in the hopes that someone would say something to give me strength.  The next day, the wave would dip down to a much more tolerable level. I noticed that because I had written the posts time and again, and there was a pattern.

 

You just had the opposite occur.  You felt good, and the next thing you knew you felt more awful than you had in a while.  That happened to me, too, but over time the see saw began to level out.  The dips were usually less low and the upsides less high except for some swings that happened every so often.  What goes up must come down.  We were regulated before we started ADs.  Our baselines may not have been ideal, but we did not swing back and forth like this, and the baseline wasn’t this bad!  It will all settle out again.  For me, the baseline is much better because I’m not trying another drug every 1-2 years due a bad wave and restarting the dysautonomic merry go round.

[Phoenixmama]

Thank you so much again , I will try not sharing my wave so much , but you explained everything so well , as you know when your in the peak of the wave you get scared and you just want someone there..., your awesome @rosetta I owe you so much , I will never forget your help 

[Rosetta]

Oh, you can share your wave.  You are doing fine!  You are feeling very sensitive and unsure what to post, but you will figure it out.  We have all been there.  Everything you posted has been just fine.  When you say sorry for the outburst I know that you have never felt such intense emotions before.  They are hard to handle, but eventually they won’t scare you as much.
 

I was trying not to post all the horrible thoughts I was having, intrusive thoughts, SI, daymares, etc in detail.  That’s what I meant.  There were things I didn’t want to even write down anywhere.  I felt that I was living in a horror movie.  So, that’s what I said — I feel like I’m living in a horror movie — instead of gory details.  It’s important that you share your waves here.  People need to see that they are not alone.  

[Rosetta]

Are you going to ditch the iron?  It could be the problem.  SA only recommends the 2 supplements for a good reason.  Even those have been a problem for some people.  There’s a thread about iron here somewhere.

 

Here it is https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/5609-ferritin-too-low-iron-supplements-anemia/

 

[Phoenixmama]

Yes I am , I only take magnesium and melatonin, I will never take anything else agaIn I’m just going to eat beef , honey and molasses has good iron in it but I’m scared it has sugar and will mess me up too 

[Phoenixmama]

Every time you explain something to me , it’s like I get released from the symptom or it lessons , idk if it’s timing or what but since I read your reply after I had the strength to get up and bathe and fix my daughter Phoenix’s dinner , maybe it might just be the evening glory that we all look forward to... never the less I’m am grateful 

[Rosetta]

💜 My little girl is everything to me.  
 

Understanding what’s happening and how this process works takes some of the fear away.  Anything that causes fear activates our fight/flight system.  So, it helps to understand how and why your body is reacting the way it is.  Your brain is directly connected to your body.  There is no division as a practical matter.  They intersect in so many ways.  We can’t control everything our bodies do, but we can learn to short circuit some of the fear response in different ways.  At some point you will feel the fear and think “there goes the haywire hormone train again.”  

[Phoenixmama]

Oh no I don’t wanna fear and think 🙁

[Phoenixmama]

I sure i will be hitting you up when that part comes 

[Phoenixmama]

I love my little girl to pieces too💗 shes right here next to me 

[Phoenixmama]

Any thoughts on the honey or molasses , I was eating honey in the beginning of my withdraw from iron and it helps with sleep but I’ve stopped over 6 weeks ago 

[Rosetta]

15 hours ago, Rosetta said:

  At some point you will feel the fear and think “there goes the haywire hormone train again.”  

It’s a positive thing.  You will start to see the feelings you have as something separate from who you are.  Anxiety will become like having an itch or a stomach ache.  Sometimes it’s poison ivy; sometimes it’s just an slightly annoying itch that won’t go away no matter how much you scratch.  At both times, it does not mean you are broken or in need of fixing from the outside.  
 

It means you have a physical condition that is either caused by a real world event (if the wind blows over the tree next to you) or, in case of WD, an overreaction by your nervous system.  (One theory is that when a receptor comes back online, the body overcompensates with a surge of adrenaline).  
 

It’s unfortunate and uncomfortable, but it does not mean you might die.  You don’t need to run or hide or fight. It will pass, and your body can reassess and deal with just it fine.  It won’t deal with it quickly enough.  You will feel bad, but you will know there’s nothing behind it.  You are just feeling protracted withdrawal, and, very slowly, it will lessen until you are back to normal someday.  
 

Having a child through this is hard.  They are always rocking the boat, and it’s so hard to stay calm and let them rock the boat.

 

Hang in there.  —Rosetta

[Phoenixmama]

@rosetta ok so this morning on the way to work i was driving and had this feeling of positive feelings , ive been so worried abut losing my job because i dont feel good and everything but this morning i was ok i was ok with it if i lose it i lose and i will find a way to survive , then i didnt feel like scared about it anymore.. got to work 30 mins in and boom here comes the sadness and crying and doomed emotions but i just sat through them... break time came i went outside and felt that positive feeling again and even excited and i can feel a surge of adrenaline again  , i felt the same thing last friday , its like positive and happiness but overwheming lol , so hard to explain 

[Phoenixmama]

the more i understand whats going on the more i get it , thank you so much

[Phoenixmama]

Anyone here take seamoss gel before ? I forgot to add that I was taking this , I ran out for a week and just got a new jar , now I’m afraid to start taking it again lol I never been so afraid of taking every little thing in my life... I guess this is new life 

[Rosetta]

I wanted to tell you about a game that might help your brain heal.  Try prodigy - an online math game.  It’s free.  My daughter wanted to play this because her teacher showed it to her, and I have found it very engaging.  Parents are encouraged to get their own accounts, and play with the kids.  So, I did, and I think it would have been really good for my brain when I was very sick.  (You have to turn it off about 2 hours before bedtime to protect sleep.)

It’s a cute game, too.  The membership is only about 9 dollars a month if you get bored and want to do more with the game.  You will be a wizard at a wizard university.  Everything is cute and child-like.  Nothing scary.  The only place you shouldn’t go is “the Arena” where you would be playing against real kids.  Everywhere else, you play against virtual creatures and virtual wizards.  You don’t have to engage with any real people or kids at all.  
 

It’s very safe for kids, too.  They cannot really chat with each other.   If the kids try to talk to each other, there is a drop down menu of things they can say to each other.  It’s very limited, like “Hi,“ “How are you,” “Cool place,” that sort of thing.  It’s so limited that very few kids even try to chat.  If anyone tries to talk to you, just ignore them.  

 

For yourself, 4th or 5th grade.  You will be doing a lot of multiplication, division, addition and subtraction.  It will help your brain re-wire.  We use an iPad for it, and it’s very easy to use.

[Phoenixmama]

@rosetta thank you .... I will check it 

[Paxil3days]

@Phoenixmama hey hang in there I had an adverse reaction after 3 days since February and slowly is getting better. Going through the same exact severe withdrawals like symptoms you went through ( like the back of the head pressure feeling you described ) and dealing with currently and I am sorry for both of us. However I have held on hope because I have seen some recovery and that is making me feel better. @Rosetta is great. I wanna ask for people with adverse reaction could it potentially get better faster? Or we just don’t know?  
 

@Phoenixmama as you start sleeping more you actually can feel yourself getting better. Slowly but surely. I hate the slow process too , but we have no other choice to allow time to heal us. How are your symptoms now ?

[Phoenixmama]

@Paxil3daysthanks for stopping by... with my symptoms i never know , its like when i'm feeling ok/good i'm scared to even say i am , its weird i only can report the bad symptoms ,if that makes any sense , i wish i could be all proud of my positive symptoms and share it here... i have times were i dont have those scared doomed emotions and feelings but im scared to be happy about them... im not sure what to call it are those windows ? its not like im all symptom free but im not having any bad emotional feelings and i can get on through the day and night , i feel like im not making any sense right now hahaha lol sorry