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siderale: escitalopram healed me, and I'm trying to live without it again: overcoming withdrawal symptoms


siderale

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@siderale I am happy to hear you are doing better and seeing a clearer window.

You sound so much better.  It is nice to hear some confidence and calm back in your voice.❤️

 

I am sure you will get back to a healthy weight.  You body and brain have been shaken up pretty bad. And it is still putting in over time to heal.

1 hour ago, siderale said:

underlying cause for my photophobia and weight loss, but I'm convinced it'll come back all clear.

I think your right.  Is the photophobia still an issue?

 

1 hour ago, siderale said:

My GP herself is stunned to see all the physical effects of WD.

Sounds like she believes you are in WD.  That is great, let's get another doctor that on board.

Tell her to spread the word to her colleagues. 

 

How is your thesis going?  When do you start back to school?

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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You have every reason to feel sad, and I can empathize.  These lousy drugs have stolen your normal way of life from you for a time.  I do believe that you will recover.  Unfortunately it can take a ve

Yesterday was my 6-month mark. I haven't had much time to update: I have been extremely busy, moving from a place to another, juggling work and studies. I would still consider myself in a window but I

I can certainly understand how OCD type thoughts can create stress and anxiety, as I've dealt with this in WD too.  Here is a technique I'm working on myself right now.  Perhaps you will find it helpf

  • Moderator
getofflex
3 hours ago, siderale said:

It is so encouraging to experience true relief amidst waves and only "blurry" windows

I'm glad you are experiencing relief!  🌞

 

The MRI scan should rule out any other causes for your issues.  I"m glad to hear that you are eating and sleeping normally now.  You've come a long way since you first started here.  I suspect that as you continue eating, you will put on weight. Be sure to include all food groups, including health calorie dense foods to help you gain weight.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07 

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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siderale
Posted (edited)

Hello all, another quick update in tune with the recent developments of my mental state;

- So, yesterday, brain MRI went well and came back all clear. I was anxious of course. But despite being strong, said anxiety did not prompt me to take benzodiazepins.

- On the same day, learnt something awful - long-time family friend suffered a stroke. Not a big one but still - recovery ahead of a life-threatening event. My parents and I are all pretty shaken up by the news.

- My soon to be 18 years old cat isn't doing well. She scared us already this summer, we know she doesn't have long but still, it's hard.

- And today, had to deal with very, VERY upsetting issues and conflict regarding a group of friends.

 

All of these are unusual and stressful events. And I am someone VERY attached to routine. I'm still pretty much shaken up, jittery, a bit nauseous, tearful- but those reactions are normal. I feel like myself - myself navigating through life and its events, not withdrawal. Even on antidepressants and being stable, I would have been sad/upset/stressed with all of this (meds did not dampen my emotions but made them easier to manage).

 

I haven't been able to eat much today, my stomach's the first to be upset when I myself am upset. I have no idea if this will start a wave or not - I don't think too much about withdrawal. I keep doing my things and eating a healthy minimum. Life continues.

 

@Greatful - My photophobia has been gone for around two weeks. In total it lasted one month and two weeks. GP maintained the MRI scan in case it came back but for now it's thankfully gone. Phew! Thank you for your encouragements. I hope you are well. I am also so reassured to find myself again and I hope you experience similar relief soon, away from DP/DR!

Oh and adding: I start school again mid-september. My thesis defense is end of september.

I hope school will be at uni, on-site, and not on zoom like last year. That was a very weird year! I hope the virus stays under control and allows me to have a normal (most likely final) year of studies!

 

@getofflex - Ever since this all started I always paid attention to vary my foods. I always had a varied and I believe healthy diet, so it helps. I do not seem to benefit from particular diets or avoiding sugars, gluten... quite the opposite: I just vary what I eat but don't change too many habits. When I feel even better and my appetite is stronger + my stomach more used to eating "heavier" meals I'll try to increase my calorie intake a bit to put on weight - healthily, of course! Wishing you all the best this weekend.

Edited by siderale
answering questions about my studies!

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex
2 hours ago, siderale said:

But despite being strong, said anxiety did not prompt me to take benzodiazepins.

That's great, @siderale

 

I'm so sorry you are being hit with all the stress factors, especially the drama with the group of friends.  

2 hours ago, siderale said:

I feel like myself - myself navigating through life and its events, not withdrawal.

How wonderful!  

 

It sounds like overall you are doing very well, but I'm sorry you are having to go through all the issues with your family friend, your cat, and your friends.  I understand about the cat, we went through this last year.  I hope and pray you and your friend work out the situation to everyone's benefit.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07 

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Hello everyone, another update as I saw my psychiatrist yesterday.

 

So far still considering myself in a window, as I still feel like myself and I am often hungry. Recent stress factors and very busy days made things unstable regarding anxiety and appetite, but overall doing OK. Yesterday, it was like life testing me: I hate being late, and different factors made me  super late to my three appointments of the day! But still, managed alright. I had to move and drive a lot and the appointments were medical and work-related, and in the evening I went to a restaurant with friends - all while still dealing with said other stress factors. A close friend was having a panic attack and I was helping while myself lowkey being in one lol. This is the recipe to being overwhelmed yet I can still navigate through, and did all I had to do.

 

Interestingly enough, yesterday my psychiatrist told me that as antidepressants (for me) made stress more manageable, it is now still my brain accomodating to the chemical/hormones of stress as if it was not used to them anymore. I imagine it, kinda like learning to walk properly after a long time spent wearing a cast on your leg.

 

He has been very encouraging regarding this particular improvement from last weeks, but repeated that it can still fluctuate (the waves and windows, in his terms!). It is both sad and reassuring to hear that all of this is "normal" and can happen to anyone.

 

I am glad to feel more in tune with myself and my environment. All of this is very encouraging. I still think it's too early for me to yell "victory!" because I haven't even passed the 6-months mark yet but I'm crossing fingers things continue to become smoother even in the next waves.

 

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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  • Mentor

@siderale   This is good news......It looks like you may have turned a corner.❤️

 

4 hours ago, siderale said:

He has been very encouraging regarding this particular improvement from last weeks, but repeated that it can still fluctuate (the waves and windows, in his terms!). It is both sad and reassuring to hear that all of this is "normal" and can happen to anyone.

 

You are so lucky to have a doctor that is supportive and seems to know what he is doing.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex

@sideraleit sounds like you are doing very well!  It seems as though you are able to function well in a busy life, which is amazing.  As time goes on, the windows get better and longer, and the waves become shorter and less severe.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07 

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Thank you both ♥ I do consider that I am doing very well especially compared to previous windows. I started my part-time job again - same as last year so no big deal, I already know what to do and it gives me a bit of money. As for my final academic year it officially starts sept. 20th. My thesis defense is end of september.

And yes, my psychiatrist also told me (in his terms) that waves get shorter with time (and that healing indeed takes a lot of time).

 

Checking in to add the symptoms I still have in this current window:

- since ~1-2 months, head pressure, not painful but annoying. Stronger when I lie down or put my head down (annoys me when I do yoga!)

- since the beginning of WD: huge anxiety (with no discernable reason) immediately when I wake up... I took the habit to take ~15-30 minutes to get out of bed as it subsides, but it's still annoying because fast heartbeat and nausea.

- anxiety bouts during the day or the occasional intrusive thought. Nausea when stressed as well but it has always been the case with me: the symptom is more that anxiety is more frequent, lol

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex

I'm glad to hear your recovery is progressing so well!  

 

48 minutes ago, siderale said:

- since the beginning of WD: huge anxiety (with no discernable reason) immediately when I wake up... I

Part of the reason for this morning anxiety, is that as part of our body's daily rhythm, our cortisol and adrenaline hormones tend to go up in the early morning hours, and gradually decrease as the day goes on.  These hormones activate our nervous systems to prepare us for the day's activity.  In WD, because our systems are so sensitized and tend to be activated, and probably because we no longer have the emotional blunting of the full dose of the drug, we feel this activation very keenly, and instead of just feeling alert and energetic, we are anxious and fearful.  I believe that this will slowly diminish in time.  Here is a link about the morning cortisol spike.  

 

Managing the Morning Cortisol Spike

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07 

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Willfinish

Hi siderale, did you have anhedonia or pssd ? 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

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7 hours ago, Willfinish said:

Hi siderale, did you have anhedonia or pssd ? 

Hello! I couldn't say about PSSD. I did have anhedonia (never had it before in my life ever) it was really intense for a couple of days around 3 months in. Then had mild anhedonia I'd say for like 1 month. It definitely wasn't my biggest symptom I'd say.

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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Yesterday was my 6-month mark. I haven't had much time to update: I have been extremely busy, moving from a place to another, juggling work and studies. I would still consider myself in a window but I gotta admit that I am quite exhausted by this rhythm. Tonight I could feel stress/exhaustion piling up; nothing unusual I just think my "threshold" to feel overwhelmed is lower than it used to as I recover from withdrawal. Still waiting to put back on weight, looking at myself in a mirror is difficult. These months really took a toll on my physical form.

Nothing too scary, though, I'm still optimistic and feeling like myself, with okay levels of energy. I just hope to catch a break soon and find my rhythm again as school starts + my thesis.

 

It doesn't help that the weather has been proper awful- it actually gives me headaches, it's 30°c until late in the evening with 80% humidity, like right before a storm- but it's been one/two weeks of this! Thankfully the temperatures should drop in the coming days, here's hoping.

I realise that me complaining about the atrocious weather is such a good thing, as I am not complaining about withdrawal!

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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  • Moderator
1 hour ago, siderale said:

Tonight I could feel stress/exhaustion piling up

Just be cautious - allowing too much stress and exhaustion can throw us into a wave.  I'm now coming out of a wave myself.  It's good you are able to be so busy and active.  It sounds like you are recovering and doing better from how you felt several months ago. 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07 

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Jadenatalie
16 hours ago, siderale said:

Yesterday was my 6-month mark. I haven't had much time to update: I have been extremely busy, moving from a place to another, juggling work and studies. I would still consider myself in a window but I gotta admit that I am quite exhausted by this rhythm. Tonight I could feel stress/exhaustion piling up; nothing unusual I just think my "threshold" to feel overwhelmed is lower than it used to as I recover from withdrawal. Still waiting to put back on weight, looking at myself in a mirror is difficult. These months really took a toll on my physical form.

Nothing too scary, though, I'm still optimistic and feeling like myself, with okay levels of energy. I just hope to catch a break soon and find my rhythm again as school starts + my thesis.

 

It doesn't help that the weather has been proper awful- it actually gives me headaches, it's 30°c until late in the evening with 80% humidity, like right before a storm- but it's been one/two weeks of this! Thankfully the temperatures should drop in the coming days, here's hoping.

I realise that me complaining about the atrocious weather is such a good thing, as I am not complaining about withdrawal!

You sound like you're doing amazing @siderale !! congratulations :) i also feel the same when the weather is humid and hot, but like you said, thats a massively good sign that you're making withdrawal progress!! xx

2016- August 2020 Fluoxetine 20mg 

 

August 2020 - December 2020 Sertraline 50mg

 

December 2020 - March 10th 2021 Citalopram 20mg - STOPPED cold turkey. 

 

Fully med free since 10th March 2021. 

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Phoenixmama

happy to here your feeling better 🌞 @siderale ❤️ i too made 6 months on aug 28th and i have to say i feel better , we are healing 🧘‍♀️

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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@getofflex@Jadenatalie@Phoenixmama

Thank you all. I also want to encourage you to keep pushing, I know you are still riding waves and I'm crossing fingers you get more and more relief. Thanks for dropping by. I hope to get the time to properly check up on you in the coming days, I've been so busy!!

 

Since yesterday I've been quite anxious all day long. My appetite is thankfully still there, but I feel very jittery, low-key flight or fight mode. Nothing too crazy, still functional, but I do feel "off", and I had a few ruminating sad thoughts, so it could definitely be a wave. Maybe, like @getofflex said, it's triggered by stress and exhaustion piling up, it could be the case. I'm taking care as much as I can, and try to tackle tasks and days one by one.

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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  • Mentor

@siderale  You are doing amazing.  You sound some much more engaged in life.  

I know that you will do well when the school year starts.  You are a fighter.❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Thank you @Greatful

 

Another short update. I would consider myself in a wave because the uneasiness of the past days won't go away + some symptoms. But it's a very mild wave, the symptoms are less severe. I mostly have :

- uneasiness 24/7, with some anxiety spikes. I know it's stress because sometimes my lower jaw hurts, I think the muscles are tensing without me noticing it.

- head pressure is quite strong. Like something is pushing the front of my face. It's as if I had a fever, but I have none.

- exhaustion is back, less severe than before but still I feel so, so damn tired despite sleeping correctly. Like my eyes feel dry and tired all day long.

 

It's funny how my brain still goes "maybe you do have a serious health issue..." but I literally had a clear brain MRI weeks ago. I don't stress much about this but it's crazy just how your brain will have the most panicked thoughts so easily. Ah, this, you cannot see on a MRI scan lol.

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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  • Mentor

@siderale  I get the head pressure.  My brain feels like it is a panic trying to focus clearly.  Do you have a hard time concentrating or thinking?  I feel like there is a small baseball behind my forehead and it blunts my thinking.  It let's me know that this is definitely a drug induced mess my brain is in.   I still have bouts of depression, anxiety, inter restlessness + a few other symptoms  and of course the intrusive thoughts that seem so real.  But I do feel that I have made some progress in healing.

 

  Remember we are going to look back on this one day and know we are a strong, courageous group of people.☺️

2 hours ago, siderale said:

It's funny how my brain still goes "maybe you do have a serious health issue.

My brain does this with my crazy phobia and obsession's I know they are so far fetched and make no sense but the brain has the" well what if" stuck in a deep rut.

 

2 hours ago, siderale said:

I would consider myself in a wave because the uneasiness of the past days won't go away + some symptoms. But it's a very mild wave, the symptoms are less severe. I mostly have :

This is encouraging for the rest of us.  It does show that even if it takes longer than we like to heal,  the waves are easier as you heal and the windows are longer....YEAH  

You are so lucky to be off of everything.  Way to go❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Hey everyone. Wouldn't be able to say if I'm still in a wave or not (a good thing: it shows that is is very mild) A lot of stress factors played in the last week. I had my thesis defense, which went objectively well (I got a good grade) but I was unhappy with my "performance". I have next year's final defense which will be better.

Going back to school has been both good in order to socialise, and difficult because friends and I, even our professors, admit that it's hard sitting in class the whole day again after one year and a half without doing so. But things are gonna get back into rhythm. Yesterday I drove back to spend the week-end with my parents', we even celebrated in a restaurant and I was able to eat everything I ordered. I'm slowly putting weight back on, and despite stress my appetite is still there.

 

Today, september 25th of 2021, my parents and I put our 18 years old cat to sleep. I am 25 and so I have known her most of my life, as well as never truly experienced grief before - lucky for me, I know. It's incredibly hard, to imagine life without our cat around, but it was the best decision to take and she enjoyed her long life to the fullest.

I shall now process this grief. Withdrawal or not, I know I would have been affected the same (even if I was still stable on meds, or in acute withdrawal) and time will do its thing. Thanks for reading me ♥

Aug 2017 - May 2018 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. June 5 mg and then stopped. Absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

Nov 2018 - Jan 2021 -> Escitalopram 10 mg. Jan-Feb 2021 - 5 mg, daily (1 month).  Feb-March 2021 - 5 mg, one day out of two (2-3 weeks). No withdrawal symptoms during taper.

--- Since March 13th, 2021 -> Escitalopram 0 mg.

Withdrawal appeared 8-10 days after last dose: introduction topic

Benzos occasionally: Prazepam 5mg (last intakes: july 30, aug 05).

 

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