Paras: feeling hopeless after reinstatement did not work

[Paras]

@Altostrata I increased the dose to 8.12 MG from 7.5 MG on 4th June 2021

 

( Since about a month or two, I have fluid behind my eardrum which is making my DPDR 100X WORSE. the DPDR was getting better when I was on 7.5 MG (but it never went away) and later on, this fluid thing happened due to EUSTACHIAN TUBE DYSFUNCTION. And then, my DPDR kept getting worse and worse. 

 

All my symptoms were mostly gone. Only this DPDR was not going away, So i changed the dose to 8.12 MG and the DPDR symptoms seem to change but again it just won't go away! Everytime I had a feeling it was going away ALMOST, but it just won't go away (although it's constant) 

 

And then on 9 July 2021, I increased the dose to 8.75 MG. Again DPDR symptoms changed somewhat ( I can't figure out properly due to ETD (eustachian tube dysfunction) & fluid behind eardrum. Because the ear thing is contributing to the symptoms of my DPDR and (I'm confused whether DPDR itself is getting worse or improving) 

 

All I can tell is (After every change in dosage, I've never have such a feeling that my symptoms are getting worse or any adverse side effect, etc.) 

 

Also, I went to ENT and I'm currently using nasal spray and some ear drop for ear infection. ( i cannot use antihistamine due to bad reaction ) 

 

Now I'm thinking to increase my dose to 10 MG. I know Ear problems ITSELF cannot cause DPDR, but antidepressant withdrawal does! 

 

I believe if i want to get off this drug, there should be no ongoing withdrawal. So I have no idea what to do now...

Should I try increasing the dose to 10 MG or stay on 8.75 MG?? 

 

Again, completely excluding (CLONAZEPAM) can't even think of it! 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

First, you must resolve the ear problem. That is a medical problem, a doctor must treat it.

 

If I were you, I would not try to cure what you call DPDR by increasing escitalopram. It may be the effect of the drug, not a withdrawal symptom. If it is a withdrawal symptom, it's best if you simply be patient and allow it to go away -- as you have been advised a couple of times already about this symptom.

 

If DPDR is the only withdrawal symptom you have, you are fortunate. If I were you, I'd stop playing with the escitalopram dose.

[Paras]

@Altostrata But ever since the ear infection, The DPDR has gotten that worse That I can't even recognize myself and my parents. It feels as if I'm going to forget myself soon and my loved ones. I can't even get out of my house or do anything, the balance problems caused by ear infection + DPDR balance problems. I feel like my SKULL is completely empty and I'm about to blackout if i go out of my house.

 

Even though the only symptom is DPDR, but it is very SEVERE. I'm completely lost and have no clue how I'm gonna resolve this. 

[Altostrata]

Since the ear infection seems to be causing you a lot of problems, maybe it's the ear infection that's causing you a lot of problems?

 

Are you also taking an antibiotic? That could be affecting you, too.

 

We're not going to support your self-medicating by raising your escitalopram dose. That doesn't make any sense. Sorry, you'll have to go elsewhere.

[Paras]

@AltostrataI'm not taking any other drug except Escitalopram. No antibiotics, no antihistamine. Only Vitamin B12 supplement. 

 

The day my ear infection started, since then my DPDR became worse. 

But I believe ear problem itself cannot cause DPDR, so it has nothing to do with why the DPDR is not going awayy. It only makes my DPDR worse because I have constant feeling of dizziness and vertigo due to ear infection. 

 

I believe it will take some time for ear infection to go away without antihistamine / antibiotics. 

 

If the DPDR is a withdrawal symptom, I mean, as I have reinstated the escitalopram dose, Can it take about that long for Reinstatement to eliminate all the withdrawal symptoms? It's been like almost 3 months. All my symptoms are gone, but just this DPDR... grhhh

 

It kills me inside when I see my parents and can't recognize them/connect them ! This literally is the worst episode of my life. 

 

I don't want to visit any doc here, because I know I'll get prescribed another drug probably which I don't want at all. 

 

I'm just seeking for a genuine advice as I have to get off this awful drug ASAP. 

 

edit - - Also, my brain is constantly mind-wandering, it's like random past memories are HAPPENING in front of me 24/7 and I'm observing it live. Just like, an auto-pilot. No control over thoughts, (I believe this is a part of DPDR) 

 

Edited July 19, 2021 by Paras

[Altostrata]

I request that you contemplate why you're being unreasonable about your infection causing the symptoms you're complaining about. 

 

I cannot make them go away, you need medical treatment. Increasing escitalopram is not going to clear your ear of infection, and we're not going to support any symptoms that arise from your taking too much escitalopram. You are making your own problems.

 

Please stop asking about this here.

[Paras]

@AltostrataI promise, I won't play with the escitalopram doses now. I genuinely want to get off this drug and I'm extremely sorry, as I self-medicated and increased the dose without informing 🙏🏼 I'm ready to follow-up all the advice! I genuinely need support. I cannot go to the psych here, as they said "you'd rather stay on Antidepressants or Benzodiazepines for LIFE." I seriously feel like I'm trapped. 

 

Is there still time for me to go back at previous dose ( 8.12 MG ) or should I stay at my current dosage now ( 8.75 MG ) 

 

It's been 10 days since increase ( No major changes in symptoms yet ) 

 

What should I do?

 

 

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, Paras said:

Is there still time for me to go back at previous dose ( 8.12 MG ) or should I stay at my current dosage now ( 8.75 MG ) 

 

Why are you asking this after you said you would stop playing with your dosages?

 

Please do not post here again until after you get your ear infection successfully treated.

[Yesyes123]

7 hours ago, Paras said:

Is there still time for me to go back at previous dose ( 8.12 MG ) or should I stay at my current dosage now ( 8.75 MG ) 

 

I don't believe this is a big change considering the dose you are at.

 

If you were at smaller doses a change of 0.6mg could be big, but at 8mg I wouldn't say it will affect you that much.

 

If I were you, I would hold at 8.12mg for a while until stable. 

 

I only started  to feel reductions strongly below 5mg. 

 

Try to get your ear treated and report back, You will make it out of this in time.

 

Whatever you end up choosing to do, make sure you stick with it for a while so you can stabilize. You won't stabilize if you keep jumping around in dosage.

[Paras]

@Yesyes123I have decided to stay on my current dosage ( 8.75 MG.) I have already made huge mistakes in the past, I don't want to repeat them again.

 

I think it's best if I stop playing with the dosages now, and first get my ear completely treated. Then it'll be clear what could be done next. 

 

Thank you. 

[Paras]

@Altostrata  I am extremely sorry for posting here again ( my ear treatment is still going on ) 

Im feeling like a complete robot.

 

I don't know if it's because of Escitalopram or just my ear problem, but I now feel like my mind is in a complete state of fogginess (heavy and gassy)

 

Also my Gastric problems are increasing everyday it feels like my whole body is badly congested and is in a state of restlessness 24/7

Is this possibly the effect of increasing escitalopram? It was on 9th of July when i increased the dose to 8.75 MG, (ABOUT A MONTH AGO) and since then, im on it. It feels like im getting numb as every day passes by.

 

I dont know what to do, It will take some time for my ear infection to go away ( as im not taking antibiotics ). Just some ear drops and steroidal spray as per doctor's instruction.

I seriously dont know how i am handling this situation, im completely miserable.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated, please.

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

You go up in dosage when we advise you to stop changing it, now you're asking whether you can reduce it again? 

 

Sure, reduce your dosage while you might be suffering adverse effects from 

21 hours ago, Paras said:

ear drops and steroidal spray

 

then the next time you have a twinge, you'll be increasing your escitalopram dosage again.

 

Please do not tag me again to discuss your drug changes. Obviously, you don't need to hear from me to do what you want to do.

[Paras]

@Altostrata since i promised i wont play with the dosages, i havent made any changes. im on the same dosage since then.

Please forgive me, i know i didnt take your advice seriously in the past and in agitation i made the dosage changes on my own and got myself in trouble. 

 

I know I've made huge mistakes in the past and created my own problems by playing with the dosages ( I admit I've been impatient, maybe even now I'm acting impatiently) .

 

But now, Im ready to do anything to correct myself and get out of this hellish situation. As of now, if im advised to not make any changes in the dosage, I WON'T. I promise I WONT 🙏🏼

.

.

.

.

Since my ear infection is taking longer than usual to go away as I'm not taking any antibiotics due to even more bad side effects. Can anything else help me get atleast little bit better until the ear infection goes away? My head feels completely foggy.

 

 

[Altostrata]

It is possible your current symptoms are from the treatment you're getting for your ear infection.

 

I hope you did not refuse antibiotics if they would be the best treatment for your infection.

 

Even though we urged you not to, you increased escitalopram because you thought that would treat the symptoms of your ear infection.

 

I'm pretty sure if I said, go ahead, why not decrease your escitalopram dose and see what happens, you'd be back here complaining of symptoms from your ear infection and asking if you should increase the escitalopram again.

 

I asked you NOT to come back here until your ear infection was cleared up.

 

I don't know anything about treating your ear infection, I don't know anything about where your current symptoms are coming from, and I don't know what you should do to address your current symptoms. Your guess is as good as mine about what your escitalopram dosage should be now. 

 

Please do NOT tag me again with your questions.