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Willfinish: Escitalopram Withdrawal - My story...on the path of healing ?


Willfinish

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Willfinish

Hi everyone, 

 

I come from Italy and this is my first post here.

 

First of all, I would thank Altostrata ad all the members of this site for your incredibile work. You are saving lives from all over the world, giving a glimpse of hope against the hellish world of drug companies and psychiatry. I'm very grateful for it, your stories and experiences helped me  a lot to understand and trying to face this journey. 

 

Here my story. 

 

In my '20s, I started  Escitalopram - Lexapro - Cipralex on January 2017, after a period of anxiety and insomnia. I took 10 mg per day (with good results) until July 2017 (for 6 months). 

 

Then, following my doctor advice, I started tapering to 5 mg, holding it until january 2018.

 

After that, I tapered dropping 1 mg every month just to be off the medication on august 2018.  

 

In that period I had severe withdrawal symptoms (with the wisdom of hindsight) like intrusive thoughts, big anxiety, permanent rage and mood swings . My doctor said It was a relapse so in September 2018 I gave up and reinstated 5 mg of escitalopram until December 2018.

 

Being tired of the medication and of the emotional numbness, I Started tapering again using the same reduction scheme (I didn't know It was so fast) and I was again off on March 2019.  

 

To sum up, I took the medication for about 2 years (January 2017 - March 2019, with a brief interruption).  

 

By surprise I hadn't many symptoms until January 2020. I was having a lot of water retention but this was the only effect lasting and I thought I was over the withdrawal process. How you can imagine, I was wrong.

 

Since January 2020 and until now,  I have been crashing. I had many heavy and sufferings symptoms and it was really a Hellish period. I had to face intense intrusive thoughts, big depression, several mood swings, Depersonalization and Derealization, inability to focus, severe brain fog and different sexual dysfunctions. I had big pain and strong headaches, periods of Lethargy, water retention, sensibility to water and foods, crying spells, mania, anhedonia and so on.

 

During Quarantine I was almost not able to function and living was impossibile but thanks to the Lockdown I was able to wait and fight without losing too much. In May my doctor wanted to put me on Vortioxetine, but I refused and tried to resist. I don't know how I went through.

 

Today, after 15 months  off (from the beginning of the withdrawal, 24 months about from the last medication) I am still struggling. Most of the symptoms I mentioned passed but I am always struck with a bit of anhedonia, lack of emotions, brain fog and sexual dysfunctions. It seems like I am still struck in a sort of Serotinergic Homeostatis (no production of Noradrenaline, Adrenaline and Dopamine), although  I have beated the water retention and have gone down a lot.

 

I have had only brief windows in which I felt normal-ish but they lasted only some hours. I'm still suffering from this and it is really frustrating.  

 

Thanks to this forum and reading some experiences I have hope this could be healing (with the wisdom of hindsight there have been many improvements) but I'm exhausted and I can't lost time anymore. Omega 3 and Pro-biotics helped a bit but it's a very hellish journey.

 

I am always in my twenties and I think this could help with improvements, I say to myself to resist cause i have a lot of time ahead but it's very difficult to accept. I've already lost 4 years of my life for this medication. What I can do ?  What do you think about ? Could anyone tell his story and how much time he took to fully recover ? 

 

Thank you guys for all your attention and for your sharing, 

 

Hope there will be a reward for all our suffering and a punishment for psychiatry and drug companies for all the harms they do. 

God and history will save all of us

 

A big Hug, 

 WF.

 

 

  

 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

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  • getofflex changed the title to Willfinish: Escitalopram Withdrawal - My story...on the path of healing ?
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What I can say about it, is that memory flashes happen more often during WD. I notice it myself for several months already and I found here on SA that it can be an WD effect.   For me, these

Hi everyone,    I come from Italy and this is my first post here.   First of all, I would thank Altostrata ad all the members of this site for your incredibile work. You are saving

upgrade : I think I’m finally healing. Near the reaching point

  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm very sorry to hear of the painful withdrawal symptoms you are experiencing.  I understand, because I, too, have been withdrawing from Lexapro.  

 

First of all, can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your taper in a concise list (no symptoms), only specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

It sounds like your doctor tapered you off the drug pretty quickly.  Not only that, but going on and off several times is hard on the nervous system, and can sensitize it, which makes future drug changes more difficult.  Doctors often mistake withdrawal for relapse.  This will heal, but it takes time. Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we taper by 10% of the current dose, so that the taper becomes exponentially smaller.  If I were you, I would not make any changes to my drugs just yet.  

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Also, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

When we recover, there are times of feeling OK mixed in with times of feeling bad.  This is called windows and waves.

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

You could possibly consider trying a very small reinstatement.  Going back on a small dose of your drug, which we call reinstatement, is best done very carefully.  There is some risk involved, and we need more specifics about your drug history before we can suggest a good dose at which to reinstate.  Here is some information about reinstatement.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Using liquid Lexapro would probably be your best best for a small dose.  You can make you own liquid, and in many countries you can buy the liquid made by a drug manufacturer.  Please check with your doctor or pharmacist.  Here is more information about that: 

 

Tips for Tapering Lexapro

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

 

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Hi getofflex, 

 

many thanks for your quick reply ! 

 

I edited my signature how you suggested. I think it could be clear now. 

 

I don't want and i think I won't make any changes (i'm off the drug since 2 years, and I've promised myself to not return on psychiatric meds for the rest of my whole life). 

 

You said  "Going on and off several times is hard on the nervous system, and can sensitize it, which makes future drug changes more difficult". Do you think this happened to me ? Could it make my recovery more difficult and slower ? 

 

Thank you again for your work! 

 

Wishes 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

Hello.  You are welcome.  I applaud you for your commitment to live a drug free life. It is a very good sign that you are having some improvements.  This means healing is taking place!  I suspect that is what happened to you - your nervous system has probably become sensitized.  This could possibly slow down recovery.   Not to worry, many of use here have done the same thing.  I, too, went off and on Lexapro with too fast tapers in 2017 and 2018.  Then I found this forum in 2019, and slowed my taper way, way down. I"m doing much better as a result.  I now have periods of several weeks at a time where I feel OK.  It can happen for you too.  Take a look at the success stories in here - it can really help give hope and encouragement. Going through difficult times can help us to develop inner strength, and help us to grow spiritually, so its not for nothing.

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Thank you for your reply. I'm very glad you're having a lot of windows and feeling normal. 

I'm in my twenties and I thought it would not have taken all this time to recover. After 2 years free i am still in this condition. 

My windows are very rare and short now. They come once, twice a month and last only few hours. 

If anyone could help, suggest or tell his story of recovering I'll appreciate very much ! 

 

 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

I would like to clarify something.  When I suggested a possible reinstatement, I meant only a temporary reinstatement to help ameliorate withdrawal symptoms.  You would then eventually taper gradually off of this and become drug free. 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Thank you for your reply but i don’t think i will reinstate at this point. I’ ve already been 2 years free, and i think it couldn’t help. I’m trying to reactivate my noradrenergic and dopamine activity and reinstate could strike more in Pssd and serotonin homeostasis. I’ll try and let you know my upgrades. Anyone Who feels still medicated after long time of stopping ssri ? 

Have a nice day 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

Anyone could help about how much time to recover from Pssd ?

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex
On 4/17/2021 at 7:37 AM, Willfinish said:

I’m trying to reactivate my noradrenergic and dopamine activity and reinstate could strike more in Pssd and serotonin homeostasis

What techniques are you using to reactivate your noradrenergic and dopamine activity?  

 

Here is a link about PSSD:  

 

PSSD

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

How are you Get? Thank you for your reply. 
I’m trying nutriacetical products for now.

Omega3 and probiotics helped a lot with dopamine, fading away Depersonalization and Derealization. Omega3 have effects on repairing strial neurons that produce dopamine. I’m using also caffeine and i’ll want to prove some mucuna pruriens for levodopa...i don’t know...

 

however i’m Feeling better in these days and i think the recovery process is near the last round. I hope 

 

Good sunday 

 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Yesyes123
On 4/16/2021 at 7:34 PM, Willfinish said:

Then, following my doctor advice, I started tapering to 5 mg, holding it until january 2018.

 

When you dropped from 10mg to 5mg, was it a straight cut? Meaning you were on 10 one day and the next on 5? 

 

Did you have WD symptoms during this time?

July 2015 - Started Escitalopram 10mg (Lexapro) at age 15. Took it everyday until July 2020 (5 Years)

July 2020 - Turned 21 started tapering off until August (TOO FAST TAPER/ ALMOST SAME AS COLD TURKEY)

August 2020 -  Clear Manic episode (nothing absurd or life threatening)

September 2020 - Start feeling a bit weird

October 2020 - Crashed. The absolute worst time of my life. 

Late October 2020 - Reinstated Escitalopram 10mg. Perscribed Antipsychotics (Lithium, Seroquel) REFUSED

Early November 2020 - Psychiatrist wrongly upped the dosage to 15mg. Still taking 15mg / day as of today. 

 

22 January 2021: 

Beginning to stabilize on 15mg/day Escitalopram (Lexapro) 🧠

Taking 25mg Magnesium Citrate 4x per day / 2000mg Vitamin C Prolonged Release + Kiwis + Fresh Fruit / Salmon everyday for Omega3 Fatty Acids

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Willfinish

Hi yes, it was a straight cut. I have been on 10mg only for 6 months and going to 5 didn’t give me many problems. I had some anxiety and wave of depression (with the winsdom of insight) but 5mg was enough to feel them manageable. 
 

I read many scientific studies showing that the receptorial occupancy is still more than 60-70% at 5 mg so there isn’t much difference. With high dosage the cut could be done without respecting the 10% rule I think, also halving directly the dose.

 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex
On 4/16/2021 at 6:21 PM, Willfinish said:

If anyone could help, suggest or tell his story of recovering I'll appreciate very much ! 

Take a look at the success stories: 

 

SA Success Stories

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Thanks @getofflex. I’m experiencing wave and Windows during the same day now, not as before. It’s still hard but i hope could be a sign of improvement.

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

Hi, i noticed a strange effect: i’m feeling if i were sensitized to water. When i drink water i start to have strange headache in the front of my mind, and then i have confusion. How is it this possible? Anyone with this strange symptom? Lexapro caused me water retention but during this year i was able To eliminate it, how this effect could be relate with? 
 

thanks 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex
On 4/19/2021 at 12:10 PM, Willfinish said:

I’m experiencing wave and Windows during the same day now, not as before. It’s still hard but i hope could be a sign of improvement.

I assume this means that you are improving.  🙂

On 4/20/2021 at 3:33 PM, Willfinish said:

i noticed a strange effect: i’m feeling if i were sensitized to water. When i drink water i start to have strange headache in the front of my mind, and then i have confusion

Our nervous systems tend to be very fragile and sensitive during WD.  At this point, nothing would surprise me.  Perhaps it has to do with the temperature of the water?  Are you drinking ice water? 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Thank you for the reply. 
I’m feeling better in these days, almost normalish (if not in a wave). Wave and Windows are relegated now in spaces of Hours. However Water is still a trouble for me, my sistem tends to retention, and it’s very strange (it was an effect of the medication, I read that serotonin influence

water homeostasis). But i never heard of someone experiencing this...how is it possibile ?

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

Water retention is often caused by high sodium levels.  Is there a lot of salt or sodium in your diet?  For me, when I eat out, or eat processed foods, I tend to retain water too. 

 

It sounds like you are doing pretty well for a person in WD.   I can't explain your reaction to water.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Thank you Gettoff.

i don’t know why happens, in my diet i don’t use a lot of salt. 

however after two years off the medication and 18 months of withdrawal i finally can see the difference. My Waves are becoming less severe and i’m able to recognise them. 
In my Windows i’m feeling almost normalish (80% I’ll say) and i’m experiencing some emotions.  
 

i see what escitalopram did to me in these years; it changed my personality and until now i can finally perceive that some thoughts are out of character. 
 

I lost 4 years of my life (2 medicated; 2 withdrawal) with this medication, unable to be myself. Now i’m seeing the finish Line, it’s still frustrating and suffering some moments (i fell mania, rapide thoughts, being restless). 
 

Withdrawal in this 18 months, analyzing now my condition, was hellish. I don’t know how I was able to go through. Pandemy helped me, i haven’t lost very much in despite of  i could have (i could stay at home, working sometime, i could lose a lot of time).
 

it’s an unberable journey. And i’m not really Recovered yet. These drugs destroy life, identity, relationships, it’s incredibile. The everyday assumptiom is worst than heroine and cocaine i suppose (or the same level).

it’s absurd they are legal. 
 

i’ll post my upgrades to help others coming out. I experienced a lot of symptoms if anyone would ask i’ll be at disposal. I want to witness my experience to thank you and this forum for your help and inspiration.

Without you i could’t have reached this progress and probably i’ll be still on another medication (doctor prescribed me vortixotine a year ago but i refused.)

 

thank you again 

Hope 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex
8 hours ago, Willfinish said:

however after two years off the medication and 18 months of withdrawal i finally can see the difference. My Waves are becoming less severe and i’m able to recognise them. 
In my Windows i’m feeling almost normalish (80% I’ll say) and i’m experiencing some emotions.  

This is great news!  You are a trooper for hanging in there and not giving up. 

 

8 hours ago, Willfinish said:

And i’m not really Recovered yet. These drugs destroy life, identity, relationships, it’s incredibile.

I think your nervous system and entire mind and body will continue to get better very slowly.  I've read success stories, and people say even after they were entirely off the medicine, they continued to improve.  I've been tapering the same drug as you, am 99% off, and I'm very gradually improving. 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

But what are your symptoms ? @getofflex

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

My symptoms are fatigue, anxiety at times, getting hot and cold (vasomotor), some nights insomnia, neuro emotions, rumination, but mild, not severe.  I'm doing much better than I was previously though.  Non drug coping skills help a lot. Thanks for asking.

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Did you suffer PSSD ? Or anhedonia, DP/DR ?

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

I’ m in a wave this morning. I’m exhausted, i can’t lose other time. Thanks to the pandemy i could stop and rest last 2 years. Now I have no more time anymore. 
 

Lexapro ruined my Dreams and my projects, why doctors kill people whit this **** drugs ? i had only some anxiety, but a fully life. Now not. 
 

It’s 2 years i’m waiting and fighting. I have no strenght anymore. How much time again ? 
 

 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

upgrade I think I’m finally healing. Near the reaching point

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better.  

On 4/24/2021 at 4:05 AM, Willfinish said:

It’s 2 years i’m waiting and fighting. I have no strenght anymore. How much time again ? 

There are many factors that affect how much time it takes to heal from these psych meds.  This thread explains all the factors that affect this.  

 

How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take

 

On 4/24/2021 at 3:49 AM, Willfinish said:

Did you suffer PSSD ? Or anhedonia, DP/DR ?

Some mild DP/DR at times. 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Thank you lex! 
 

My symptoms have generally improved. What i still feel is lack of emotions and PSSD. These are the last ones?

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

Great!  I'm very happy to hear that you are feeling better.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
Willfinish

Hi, stuck in a two days bad wave again. Everytime i’m pushed away from my improvements. 
 

i’ve read some articles about the permanent damages caused by MDMA and ectasy that increase serotonin in the brain as well as SSRI. 
 

You can see in this picture how after 7 years the recovery is still not fully. Could be the same with SSRI ? 

3CD67702-48E8-4AE9-B3A2-8FD28A12E0AF.jpeg

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

...

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Yesyes123
On 5/2/2021 at 8:26 AM, Willfinish said:

Hi, stuck in a two days bad wave again. Everytime i’m pushed away from my improvements. 
 

i’ve read some articles about the permanent damages caused by MDMA and ectasy that increase serotonin in the brain as well as SSRI. 
 

You can see in this picture how after 7 years the recovery is still not fully. Could be the same with SSRI ? 

 

 

Can you please send us those articles and source of that info?

July 2015 - Started Escitalopram 10mg (Lexapro) at age 15. Took it everyday until July 2020 (5 Years)

July 2020 - Turned 21 started tapering off until August (TOO FAST TAPER/ ALMOST SAME AS COLD TURKEY)

August 2020 -  Clear Manic episode (nothing absurd or life threatening)

September 2020 - Start feeling a bit weird

October 2020 - Crashed. The absolute worst time of my life. 

Late October 2020 - Reinstated Escitalopram 10mg. Perscribed Antipsychotics (Lithium, Seroquel) REFUSED

Early November 2020 - Psychiatrist wrongly upped the dosage to 15mg. Still taking 15mg / day as of today. 

 

22 January 2021: 

Beginning to stabilize on 15mg/day Escitalopram (Lexapro) 🧠

Taking 25mg Magnesium Citrate 4x per day / 2000mg Vitamin C Prolonged Release + Kiwis + Fresh Fruit / Salmon everyday for Omega3 Fatty Acids

Link to post
Yesyes123
On 5/2/2021 at 8:26 AM, Willfinish said:

i’ve read some articles about the permanent damages caused by MDMA and ectasy that increase serotonin in the brain as well as SSRI. 
 

You can see in this picture how after 7 years the recovery is still not fully. Could be the same with SSRI ? 

 

I have a few people close to me who have done lots of MDMA and they are and have always been totally happy and normal (they have never taken psych drugs). 

 

What they tell is that you feel terrible the next day and then it goes away, similar to alcohol. 

 

I've never done MDMA though.

July 2015 - Started Escitalopram 10mg (Lexapro) at age 15. Took it everyday until July 2020 (5 Years)

July 2020 - Turned 21 started tapering off until August (TOO FAST TAPER/ ALMOST SAME AS COLD TURKEY)

August 2020 -  Clear Manic episode (nothing absurd or life threatening)

September 2020 - Start feeling a bit weird

October 2020 - Crashed. The absolute worst time of my life. 

Late October 2020 - Reinstated Escitalopram 10mg. Perscribed Antipsychotics (Lithium, Seroquel) REFUSED

Early November 2020 - Psychiatrist wrongly upped the dosage to 15mg. Still taking 15mg / day as of today. 

 

22 January 2021: 

Beginning to stabilize on 15mg/day Escitalopram (Lexapro) 🧠

Taking 25mg Magnesium Citrate 4x per day / 2000mg Vitamin C Prolonged Release + Kiwis + Fresh Fruit / Salmon everyday for Omega3 Fatty Acids

Link to post
Willfinish

I’m using some mucuna pruriens and it has strange effects. Anyone ? 
 

about the pic there are many research on ssrn

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

I stopped mucuna pruriens a day ago. 

it was very harmful to me..i’m still in withdrwal from it. this was my last supplement i wanted to try..now i’ll use only omega 3 or probiotics 

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
Willfinish

Another strange wave ...how is it possible ?

how much time still ?

Cipralex 2 years treatment (January 2017 to March 2019, with a brief interruption). 

 

Cipralex 10 mg : January 2017 - July 2017.

Cipralex 5 mg: August 2017 - March 2018.  Start tapering 1 mg a month. 

Off the medication: August 2018.  Too fast tapering, crashed, doctor reinstated considering relapse. 

Cipralex 5 mg: September 2018 - December 2018.  Tired of emotional numbness, start tapering again, 1 mg a month (didn't know it was so fast, following my doctor advice). 

Off the medication: March 2019. 

PSSD and painful withdrawal symptoms: January 2020 until now. Some improvements but still struggling. 

 

Supplements: some Omega 3 and probiotics, a bit better. 

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

Yes, the recovery from psych meds is nonlinear.  I know how frustrating it can be from my own experience. Go back to my post on April 28, and check out the link "How long will withdrawal take?".  Our nervous systems are highly complex, and it takes a long time to heal.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post

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