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Xanxiety: I Don’t know what’s happening to me


Xanxiety

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Xanxiety

Hello everyone, 

 

Im currently 21 years of age and have been taking Vyvanse at 60mg and Zoloft at 100mg for 14 years as I was diagnosed with pretty severe ODD as a child. I began taking Klonopin 3/2020. 
 

Fast forward to 4/2021- I’m currently in a state of just pure confusion is what it feels like. My appetite is out of whack. I will go a couple days eating maybe 2000 calories total then just eat like I’ve never seen food before. Same goes for my sleep, I’ll feel tired at some points then all of the sudden hit with a jolt of energy out of nowhere usually around 11-12pm. 
 

My memory is at an all time worst. I find myself forgetting nearly everything unless I tell myself in my head in the moment, “Hey, you need to remember this”. My mood is just so severely unstable I can’t commit to anything or follow through. I’ll be up for 24 hours then sleep for 12 then wake up and feel like I still need more sleep. 
 

The main symptom that is absolutely driving me up a wall is anxiety. And I feel like it’s getting worse every day even though I’m trying to put myself in situations I used to not think twice about, now it feels like every thing I say to anyone that I don’t know well, haven’t seen in a while, and especially with girls. 
 

I have isolated myself the past few years from any intimate relationships and it has resulted in me feeling like I’m living with that “awkward feeling”, or the “butterflies in your stomach” everyone knows. And it doesn’t go away even when i force myself to do something I’m not comfortable with. Like I want to be able to talk and conversations like I used to and every time I push myself to do something I’m not comfortable with I can’t stop thinking, “did I look like a loser”, “what if she thinks I’m weird”. In essence, my self confidence has been completely destroyed within the matter of a few months. I feel my trust in doctors is lost, as I’ve never had success with medication and switching them around. I don’t know if it’s my mind freaking itself out or the meds themself. 
 

Im dying for some stability. I just don’t know. It feels like I’ve exhausted so many options and that my brain is broken. 

Since 9 yrs of age (currently 21)- Vyvanse 60mg, Zoloft 100mg (for ODD) 

3/2020- Rx Klonopin .5 2x daily for GAD

4/2020- up Klonopin to 1mg 2x daily

7/2020- Rx xanax 1mg as needed for sleep

2/2021- new Dr. diagnosed Major depressive disorder, up zoloft to 150mg, cut klonopin to .5mg 3x daily. -horrid withdrawals, phychosis, stomach problems,

3/2021- zoloft back to 100mg klonopin back up to 2-2.5mg daily

4/2021- attempt to taper vyvanse, miserably failed, no motivation at all.

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm sorry to hear you are having this issues.  Please be very cautious with the advice of doctors on how to taper your drugs.  Many doctors get their patients off their drugs too fast and this can cause big problems.  It's not your fault, you were following the advice of your doctor, like most of us do. 

 

Assuming you are not having an adverse reaction to your drugs, I would suggest waiting a while for your system to calm down and stabilize before making any more changes to your drugs, especially since your doctor made changes to your drugs in the past several months that caused your bad withdrawals.  

 

First of all, can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise list (no symptoms), only specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Can you please keep a daily log of the times your take your drugs, and your symptoms?  Please try and see if any symptoms ramp up or appear after you take your drugs.  This will help us see if you are having adverse reactions to any of your drugs.  Here are further instructions: 

 

Daily Log

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we taper by 10% of the current dose, so that the taper becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Let's figure out which drug to taper first:  

 

Multiple Drugs, Which to Taper First

 

As we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

When we recover, there are times of feeling OK mixed in with times of feeling bad.  This is called windows and waves.

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

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Rosetta

Hi, Xanxiety, 
 
Very clever name!  Welcome to SA.

 

Please start taking daily notes right away.  They will be very important in your case. Getofflex gave you the link to the topic.  If you keep them on paper and then transfer them here, you will have the paper notes you can show a doctor if you need to.  

 

For the Mods:

 

Major interaction between Sertraline/Zoloft and Vyvanse. (Vyanase is an amphetamine based drug often used for ADHD.)

 

Moderate interaction between sertraline/zoloft and klonopin/Clonazepam 

 

Rosetta
 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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MaryMoo429

Welcome, @Xanxiety! I definitely know what it’s like to struggle with appetite and sleep problems when I was prescribed adderall, vyvanse and amphetamine salts. Like you I was also on an SSRI as well as simultaneously prescribed benzos for a period of time. For me my nervous system would be so amped up from the stimulants that I would need to take Ativan to level it back out. Therefor, I was constantly fluctuating between these two states in search of the perfect balance where I would feel just right and OK. I often wouldn't even be able to get any food down most days and then would crash, not take meds for a day and binge on unhealthy food. My sleep was horrible as well and there were many nights where I would lie awake in bed staring at the ceiling or just be up for a couple of days with no sleep whatsoever. I had lots of anxiety during this time and my lack of sleep definitely was of influence. I’m positive that these medications amplified if not created much of the anxiety I experienced at this time.

 

 I see from your signature that you failed to taper off of vyvanse due to no motivation and can relate to that as well. After 11 years on a prescribed stimulant, I still struggle with this feeling and often times get frustrated and angry with myself for not being able to perform like I used to. I can, however, say that this particular symptom has gotten better with time and that the chaos this medication created in my life has stopped since I discontinued it. Damage has been done and I believe I am still healing from it but I do find some comfort in knowing that these chemicals are out of my body and no longer continuing to poison me every day.

 

I just wanted to take the time to welcome you and let you know that you’re not alone even if you feel that way or like no one understands. I hope you can use this forum and community to find the peace and stability you are looking for. 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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Rosetta

Please don’t change anything until a Mod gets back to you.  Changing the wrong thing in the wrong way will make things worse. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

@Xanxiety, I want to reassure you that I don't believe your brain is broken.  It is the health care system that is broken in my opinion.  We are currently reviewing your situation, and will get back to you.  There is hope for you.  You are young, and your brain and body have powerful healing capabilities.  Please hang in there. 

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post
  • Moderator
getofflex

Hello @Xanxiety.  We suggest that you start tapering the Vyvanse at the rate of no more than 10% every 4 weeks.  This will take time, and patience is required.  I don't suggest you rush this, as you very possibly could feel even worse.  Please see the links above on "Why Taper by 10% of my Dose".  Here is a link on the mechanics of tapering:  

 

Tips for Tapering Off Vyvanse

 

Please let us know if you have any questions. 

 

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

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