CeruleanSea: Introduction

[CeruleanSea]

I'm a 45 year old woman from Wisconsin. I'm a happily married mother of 2 small kids, and work as a computer programmer. 

 

My psych med history is 

 

Prozac: ?mg for 3-4 months, 1995-1996 (age 20-21). At age 20, I was very depressed-seeming, with low motivations and psychomotor retardation.   I now believe that this was due to Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.  No doctor tested me for that at that time, however -- I was given a Prozac prescription the first time I saw a doctor.   I didn't like the sexual side effects and jumped off it C/T.

 

Serzone: 150mg-300mg, 1999-2001 (age 24-26).  I chose to withdraw in 2001 once I had been diagnosed with thyroid disease and that was adequately treated.  Withdrawal had strong side effects and was a massively difficult withdrawal.  I went to a round of neuropsych testing as I was convinced I had a serious disorder.  I had brain zaps, but no one at this time would acknowledge antidepressant withdrawal. I was treated as simply mentally ill. 

 

Sertraline, 2002 (age 27), several months. I felt like a zombie on it and was not very compliant. 

 

Effexor, 37.5 mg instant release, 2003-2009 (age 28-34): I was diagnosed this primarily to fight chronic migraines, but it also alleviated anxiety. Unfortunately, it also greatly shortened my ambition and attention span. During this time of my life I was really just not getting anywhere with my career and life, I accepted mediocre jobs and relationships.   This withdrawal was also very difficult and once again I went to neuropsych testing as my family noticed the major brain fog I had upon withdrawal. Nothing unusual was found.

 

Clonazepam, .5 or .25 twice daily. 2010-2011 (age 35-36).  The easiest withdrawal possible. I quit as we knew we would be trying to conceive children. 

 

6 years without psychiatric meds, the longest in my life.  I was frequently anxious and obsessive.  I had anxiety around driving.  I often woke up with anxious thoughts. But I was very motivated and driven and made a lot of career growth at this time.  At this time, I sometimes used Onnit New Mood to help with anxiety or sleep.

 

Sertraline: April 2017-June 2018 (age 42-43).  Gradually tapered over 4 months.   Rebound anxiety and brain fog.  Went back on April 2018-Present.  The side effects of this medication are not as strong as those of the others for me. But I am aware of increasing forgetfulness and lower motivation overall.  

 

At the same time as I've been treated for mental health, I've also learned to care for my physical health.  With autoimmune thyroid disease, anxiety is very common. I was born with this condition.  

 

Since January 2021, I have followed the Autoimmune Protocol (https://www.thepaleomom.com/category/autoimmunity/).  This  has greatly alleviated a lot of brain fog, physical fatigue, physical pain, and anxiety that I previously experienced.   I'm feeling at my best health in a long time.

 

The work of Stuart Shipko and Dr. Breggin on SSRI's have had me second-guessing the wisdom of being on an SSRI long-term.  I'm questioning why I ever was put on an SSRI in the first place, yet worry that I may be unable to ever truly leave them behind.   I am willing to try. 

 

Currently, I'm trying the slow taper of Sertaline by dissolving my 50 mg tablets in water and taking gradually less. 

 

 

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, CeruleanSea.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.  You can use the information in your post, but edit it down a bit so it's mostly dates and doses.  Is your current dose 50mg?

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

You mention tapering gradually.  We recommend tapering no faster that 10% of your current dose every four weeks.  If your current dose is 50mg, you first taper would be down to 45mg for four weeks, etc.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

This link is specifically about tapering Sertraline, including information about dissolving tablets in water.  Another possibility is to taper using prescription liquid Sertraline.

Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft)

 

One thing to consider regarding long-term use of these drugs is that they often stop working after a certain period, a process known as "poop-out."  Tapering during poop-out is more difficult that tapering while the drug is still working.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

Update: my family doctor is having me trial reduction or elimination of the menopause hormone therapy I was on.  This is a reduction in estrogen/estradiol and progesterone.   

 

I am considering waiting 2-4 weeks before starting the taper, so I can discern whether any resulting change is due to hormone reduction or due to sertraline taper. 

[Gridley]

3 hours ago, CeruleanSea said:

I am considering waiting 2-4 weeks before starting the taper, so I can discern whether any resulting change is due to hormone reduction or due to sertraline taper. 

We always recommend making only one change at a time so that, you noted, you can ascertain the cause of any change.

 

I don't know how long hormone changes take to be felt but to be safe I's wait 4 rather than 2 weeks before tapering.

[CeruleanSea]

I've been able to resume a taper this week.  Currently, this is a reduction from 50mgs to 45 mgs of sertraline by dissolving tablets in 50 ml of water and removing 5 ml.

 

As of the first few days, I am experiencing irritability, depressiveness, and lower motivation. 

[CeruleanSea]

I was able to taper a bit more over the summer, holding to 37.5 mg for a bit for ease of dosing as I travelled.

 

I am now resuming at 10%/monthly. I'm hoping to experience more motivation, as the ssri does eliminate the feeling of urgency I have about things.

 

 

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

Upon considering how it's been, realizing that I've been experiencing massive brain fog and word-finding issues for several months with reducing my ssri.  I think I reduced too quickly to the 37.5 I have been on.

 

Currently, I am planning to start over at 45 mgs and reduce more slowly (every 8 weeks). 

[CeruleanSea]

After reinstating in late fall, I'm now starting a slow taper of my sertraline. I'm dissolving a 25 mg capsule in 50 ml of water, then removing 5 ml of water to reduce by 2.5 mg prior to drinking it. I then take one whole capsule. 

 

So far, I haven't noticed anything in particular. 

 

 

[Blossom71]

Hi @CeruleanSea

 

I’ve just read your story and see you’re tapering Sertraline.   After a couple of larger drops and longer holds, I’m 3 weeks into my first 10% drop.

 

Good to met you and I wish you well with the current drop x

[CeruleanSea]

First small drop.  I am very surprised I am experiencing brain fog & forgetfulness with such a small drop.  

 

I have experienced this in the past due to sudden discontinuation.  But I find it concerning at such a small cut. Hoping to see improvement.

[Blossom71]

Hi @CeruleanSea

 

I was surprised as well to be honest. First 4 days were the worst for me but gradually eased up so will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

 

I also noticed you’re a programmer. I’m a tester! 😂

[CeruleanSea]

1 hour ago, Blossom71 said:

I also noticed you’re a programmer. I’m a tester! 😂

Too funny!  love it. 

[CeruleanSea]

Augh, in addition to some minor brain fog and forgetfulness I'm feeling unusually unmotivated today. Perhaps not surprising for anyone in a deep winter January however.   My mind keeps hopping away from my work and onto online entertainments.

[CeruleanSea]

I’m 3-4 days into a taper from my 50 mgs prescription to 45 mgs.

 

I’m shocked to be having noticeable effects from such a small drop. I recognize some from when I went off an SSRI c/t 15 years ago (doctor’s advice at the time).

 

Noticing: 

Digestive — reduced appetite 

 

Sleep changes — vivid and elaborate dreams 

 

Control of movement — recurrent random eyelid twitching on my right eye (blepharospasm) 

 

Mood changes — more irritable at times

 

Other — somewhat more motivation already! Wow.

 

 

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

I’m so moody & irritable! Maybe this happens but I’m doubting my method of reducing the sertraline.

 

 I’m currently putting two 25 mg pills in 50 ml of water. I let them dissolve & then mix the water up. I remove 1 tsp of water (4.9 ml) and drink the rest. 
 

could dissolving the pill be reducing it’s effectiveness?

 

I should add, Im under stress this week. My family has been sick with norovirus & I will be traveling for work in 2 days.
 

 

[Blossom71]

Hi @CeruleanSea

 

I was surprised by how I felt with just a 10% drop to be honest. I had pretty much the same symptoms, give or take a couple.  

 

Sounds like you have some stressful things going on so don't forget to be kind to yourself 😘

 

I am 3 weeks ahead of you and I started to feel better on day 5/6, and by the time around 10 days had passed I was pretty much back to baseline x

[CeruleanSea]

I ended up taking my old dose a couple of days this week, as I was ill from norovirus and didn't quite have the energy to manage the dissolution.   Better to jump up 10% than to skip a day?  

 

I'm finally back to my reduction and it is much the same.   The most concerning thing for me is a persistent eyelid twitch.   I feel like Luisa from Encanto!  Hoping it abates at the month goes on. 

[Blossom71]

I had to Google “Luisa encanto”. Still want sure what you meant but then I googled “Luisa encanto eye twitch” and I found a vid of her twitchy eye. It made me chuckle as I had a twitchy eye yesterday 😂

 

 

[CeruleanSea]

Just a note for myself for later, I’m now experiencing minor but noticeable thinking problems. Slowed processing times and mild forgetfulness.   This happened when I reduced this past summer & has happened in the past as well. I’m really hoping to heal from this effect.

[CeruleanSea]

Noticing: 

Digestive — normal appetite

 

Sleep changes — sleep is going well

 

Control of movement — eyelid twitch is gone!

 

Mood changes — more irritable, more anxious, more sensitive to caffeine

 

Other — Feeling a funny light-headed feeling often. No disequilibrium just a sense of tingles and a bit unfocused. Wow.  

[CeruleanSea]

I felt so funny, I ended up taking 1/4 of my usual dose to be able to focus at the office today. I felt better within 30 minutes.  

[Blossom71]

Wow, that just shows what they do to us doesn’t it.  I previously assumed that my lack of focus was down to me being broken. I only realised it was the meds when I did an inadvertent CT for 2 weeks.

[CeruleanSea]

I'm doing better overall!  My symptom severity from the first reduction is getting easier to bear.    

 

I've been tracking symptoms using Dr. Glenmullen's symptoms list in Google Drive. If you'd like to use this, it's a spreadsheet that is publicly available at this link.  To use, go to File-->make a copy, choose a name and save in your own Google Drive.   

 

From tracking, I can see that I'm experiencing fewer symptoms.  I now do have increased irritability and some headaches.   But, the irritability could be due to coffee I drink to try to treat the headaches.

 

The biggest helper for me has been exercise + enjoyable activities.   I spent time last weekend walking on a frozen lake near a forest, and that was amazing. 

[Blossom71]

Oh I’m glad you’re feeling better!

 

Exercise really seems to help

me too although we’ve had rain storms for about 2 weeks with monsoon-style rain so I haven’t had many walks. There’s another due but I’m hoping that’s it then.  I am very envious of you walking on a frozen lake. That sounds brilliant!

[CeruleanSea]

🤕 I’m having daily headaches that overlap with migraines in their symptoms.  Light sensitivity, lack of focus. But mostly pain.

 

This is also associated with some sinus symptoms & ear popping.

 

How strange! Headache + sinus medicine help a little, but not much.

 

Hoping this is passing. 

[CeruleanSea]

My daily headaches have abated!  Relieved.

 

I’m now experiencing frequent dreaming & somewhat shallow sleep. I start dreaming earlier in my sleep. But the dreams themselves are fleeting & forgettable, the memory of them dissolves upon awakening. 

[CeruleanSea]

Today is 3 weeks on my reduction from 50 mg to 45 mg sertraline.  
 

As I was out and about, I noticed that I’m having more creative thoughts than before! This is great. I used to write essays & stories, but stopped years ago.  I now have ideas for essays coming to me. This is healing & creativity, no signs of mania.

 

At the same time, my negative symptoms from the first 2 weeks are improving quite a bit. 

 

This is such a relief & motivates me to keep trying with a slow taper.

 

 

[Blossom71]

9 hours ago, CeruleanSea said:

My daily headaches have abated!

 

8 hours ago, CeruleanSea said:

 

As I was out and about, I noticed that I’m having more creative thoughts than before! This is great. I used to write essays & stories, but stopped years ago.  I now have ideas for essays coming to me. This is healing & creativity, no signs of mania.

That’s brilliant @CeruleanSea

Especially the creativity! 🎉🎉

 

Interesting. I’ve had mild sinus pain and ear popping. I put it down to there being storms coming in but maybe they are WD symptoms.  I guess time will tell as I do my next drop. 

[CeruleanSea]

I had a setback on Monday, with feeling very pessimistic all day. I was feeling that my life is joyless & everything is merely an obligation, no fun.

 

The truth is, it’s been a tough month. Norovirus for the whole family, travel for work, and kids’ schools closed for bad weather.

 

But life is far from joyless! I woke up feeling just fine Tuesday. 

 

 

[Blossom71]

I’m sorry you’ve had a slight setback @CeruleanSea. But it’s probably not surprising with everything you’ve had in your plate.

I wish that ‘life’ would just bugger off for a while to give everyone a chance to concentrate on healing x

[CeruleanSea]

I’ve been feeling better and better! I’ve had a break from constantly either working or caring for kids that was much needed. 

 

For now, planning to hold as I'm having a change to some hormonal treatments (estrogen & progesterone).  These can have notable psychological effects so I’ll hold for the first two weeks of a switch. Then reducing another 10% of my current dose. 

[CeruleanSea]

Looking back on my first month from 50-45 mgs. 
 

I had up to 8 of Dr Glenmullen’s symptoms/day during the first week, but am now feeling like I’ve adapted. I’m down to 3 symptoms regularly & they are not greatly affecting my quality of life.

 

My common symptoms are, headache, fatigue, forgetfulness, vivid dreams, twitching, and runny nose.   The headaches were the worst, the twitching is embarrassing but minor (eyelid & eyebrow muscles), as is the forgetfulness.  

[CeruleanSea]

I'm on day 3-4 of the next reduction. I felt well and decided to press on.  

 

I've been feeling good, extra motivated. I did feel more jittery today after some caffeine, and I will need to watch out for that.  Caffeine has been a prop to power me through sertraline fatigue.  Glad to be closer to regular motivation.

[CeruleanSea]

Down to 40.5 mgs. It feels great to be making progress.

 

I’m once again having an occasional facial twitching. It used to be around my left eyelid and is now in the left eyebrow!  
 

I feel amused by this.  And also…educated that ssri’s are not so mild. 

 

That twitching ceased after 2 weeks last month & will hopefully do so this time as well.   🤷🏻‍♀️ 

[Blossom71]

Thanks for the laugh @CeruleanSea

 

I had one side of my lip twitching last week. It was like I was doing an Elvis impression. 😂

[CeruleanSea]

Thanks @Blossom71, I’m so surprised “May look like Elvis” isn’t mentioned in the prescription info for patients.