Polkadot: I feel like I’ve ruined my brain and body and have no idea what to do

[Altostrata]

On 5/2/2021 at 5:57 PM, Altostrata said:

I see you have a long history with alprazolam. I don't know what you're going to do about your potential alprazolam dependency. If you feel you have to continue it, you'll need to get a continuing prescription from your doctor. It would be best to take the alprazolam at the same time each day, instead of the haphazard way you have been taking your drugs. If you can't get another prescription, you'll have to go off by gradually reducing what you have and enduring the withdrawal symptoms, if any.

 

[Polkadot]

On 5/5/2021 at 9:57 AM, Altostrata said:

 

I'm sorry, I simply cannot keep repeating myself. If you want to take Paxil again, please go ahead.

 

What are your thoughts on 1mg escitalopram? I took citalopram 10mg on 2/5 stupidly but I obviously reacted and with my cardiac issues I can’t take it. 
 

is changing again a big risk? I’m in pure hell I just want something to work 

[Rosetta]

Hi Polkadot,

You might not know that escitalopram is much stronger that citalopram.  People have problems with it.  It’s harder to quit, too.  I don’t think any of the Mods would recommend that to replace Paxil.

 

Rosetta

[Polkadot]

13 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

You might not know that escitalopram is much stronger that citalopram.  People have problems with it.  It’s harder to quit, too.  I don’t think any of the Mods would recommend that to replace Paxil.

Thanks for letting me know. 
 

I have no idea what to do. My window to reinstate is closing and I’m so sick physically and mentally I can’t function at all. 
 

part of me wants to reinstate Paxil. It’s confusing reading that a few years ago that was recommended to many people but now it’s not. 
 

I’m scared of serotonin syndrome, too, because I took the celexa only a few days ago. 
 

I just want to go back to the way I was. Honestly, I’d live with the severe chronic fatigue if it meant I was okay otherwise again. 
 

im so lost. 

[Rosetta]

Taking Paxil every few days is unusual.  It is very hard on the nervous system.  People compare it to playing basketball with the brain.  Doctors often tell people to skip a day, one on, one off, to taper.  It can cause quite a mess.  I suspect that the Mods feel that your system is very sensitive to Paxil, and the incident with the heart issue is very concerning.  I would be afraid to take it again.

 

 

[Rosetta]

Besides, Paxil is proving to be a very nasty drug.  Horribly addictive.  

[Polkadot]

37 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

 

Taking Paxil every few days is unusual.  It is very hard on the nervous system.  People compare it to playing basketball with the brain.  Doctors often tell people to skip a day, one on, one off, to taper.  It can cause quite a mess.  I suspect that the Mods feel that your system is very sensitive to Paxil, and the incident with the heart issue is very concerning.  I would be afraid to take it again.

 

I think I’m just longing for some feeling of how I used to be before this ordeal. Going on the Paxil full time for a few weeks brought about the heart trouble and sexual dysfunction, but when taking it intermittently my sexual function was okay. It was never great, I started these drugs so damn young I wouldn’t know what damage they’ve done to a full extent.

 

im so emotionally numb and in physically pain and so sick. I need to make a decision fast about what to do. I’m scared I’ll have pssd and adhedonia no matter what I do. 

[Polkadot]

I could really use some wisdom from anyone right now. 
 

I am so severely sick. I haven’t slept more than 1 hour every few days for the past 9 days. I am filled with pure terror at all times. My heart rate gets to 140 and beats out of my chest. I am in so much pain all over my body that I writhe and moan for hours. I can’t calm down this intense panic when it comes. I am constantly wet all over with sweat, my hand is numb and weak, I am numb and depersonalised and so physically weak I honestly believe I’m going to die very soon. 
 

what do I do? 
 

im scared of the cardiac complications of Celexa but I’m also scared of going back on Paxil. Because I took Celexa 10mg 2/5 it would still be in my system. I had a bad reaction but it’s hard to tell what’s wd and what’s a reaction at this point. 
 

I need help, please. 
 

what if re instatement doesn’t work? I don’t want to die but I fear that’s what’s going to happen, my body is so weak.

 

please help me 

[Polkadot]

I’m so upset. I see people going about their happy lives and I am stuck in a slow and torturous decline towards death. This is absolute agony. I am 23. I should be out with my friends enjoying my life but instead I have had a life of hardship and now this. 
 

It’s so unfair.

I don’t want to die. I want to go back to how I was a few months ago before all of this. I want a miracle 

[Rosetta]

Polkdot,
 

I know what you are feeling because I have been there.  I did not reinstate, but I am alive and happy, and I’m healthy.  Now, I have many annoying problems that my brain is still repairing, but I have not had the terror  in many years.  In fact, the terror part lasted only a few weeks for me.  The terror part did not come about until about 3-4 months after I quit the AD.  It’s different for everyone.  You are having it now, but your body has an amazing ability to fix itself.  Your system will calm down if you leave it alone.  
 

Of course you feel this is unfair.  Only you can be fair to yourself now, and give yourself a chance to heal.  It will happen.  I thought I would die, too.  I didn’t, and you won’t.  That is a thought that comes into your mind because your brain thinks there is a danger you should run away from.  It’s a malfunction of the fight or flight response brought on because your nervous system is destabilized.  The thoughts are not due to a real danger, but it feels very real.

I went through a lot, and I don’t regret it.  I know now that the terror feeling was completely artificial.  I was never in danger.  It’s hard to live through, but you can, and you will be perfectly normal and relaxed again just as I am.  I doubt it will take you as long either if you can avoid taking doses of things that are too high for you.  
 

You may want to determine when your last dose of alprazolam was.  Do you remember the last day of the 10 day course?  I don’t think you put the dates in your posts.  Also, when is that last day you took your last two alprazolam pills — the ones you still had left over?
 

 

[Polkadot]

40 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Of course you feel this is unfair.  Only you can be fair to yourself now, and give yourself a chance to heal.  It will happen.  I thought I would die, too.  I didn’t, and you won’t.  That is a thought that comes into your mind because your brain thinks there is a danger you should run away from.  It’s a malfunction of the fight or flight response brought on because your nervous system is destabilized.  The thoughts are not due to a real danger, but it feels very real.

Thank you for reaching out to me. I am in genuine danger as I haven’t slept in 9 days and I’m physically very sick, developed at least one infection maybe also a uti. I’ll need antibiotics which I know are destabilising, which terrifies me. 

 

42 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I went through a lot, and I don’t regret it.  I know now that the terror feeling was completely artificial.  I was never in danger.  It’s hard to live through, but you can, and you will be perfectly normal and relaxed again just as I am.  I doubt it will take you as long either if you can avoid taking doses of things that are too high for you.  

I think I have to reinstate something but what I don’t know. I can’t live through this. I ct Paxil and that’s the worst thing anyone can do. 

 

43 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

You may want to determine when your last dose of alprazolam was.  Do you remember the last day of the 10 day course?  I don’t think you put the dates in your posts.  Also, when is that last day you took your last two alprazolam pills — the ones you still had left over?

I took my last dose on Sunday morning 2/5. I didn’t finish the 2 tablets I have left because I was unsure if that would make a possible dependency worse. 
I have to take something to sleep tonight. I can’t bear another night of no sleep and panic. I have diazepam that I’ve never used, I’m unsure what to take. 

[Rosetta]

You mean May 2nd, right?  Or February?

 

I have read here on SA that your body can go without sleep.  That it feels impossible, but that you will sleep enough on your own.  I know it’s miserable, but many people say that it is the best way to get back to sleeping —  to avoid taking anything to sleep.  It worked for me.

[Rosetta]

On 5/2/2021 at 5:57 PM, Altostrata said:

 

It will take a few days for the 10mg citalopram to wear off. You might wait a few days before taking 1mg citalopram AT THE SAME TIME EACH DAY to lessen the SSRI withdrawal symptoms. Ordinarily, this helps, people stabilize for some months, and then taper off by tiny amounts.

 

I see you have a long history with alprazolam. I don't know what you're going to do about your potential alprazolam dependency. If you feel you have to continue it, you'll need to get a continuing prescription from your doctor. It would be best to take the alprazolam at the same time each day, instead of the haphazard way you have been taking your drugs. If you can't get another prescription, you'll have to go off by gradually reducing what you have and enduring the withdrawal symptoms, if any.

This is the best advice you will get.  It may seem that taking Celexa is scary, but taking 1 mg is very different from taking 10.  Do you think you can follow the instructions to make a liquid dose of 1 mg?  Do you have an oral syringe?  You can keep the other 9 mg in the refrigerator.

 

Maybe you should ask your uncle what he knows about alprazolam withdrawal.  He may not know much, but you can learn together.  How much diazepam do you have?  Look up the NICE guidelines for withdrawal from benzos.  The recommendation is to switch (carefully) to diazepam after you stabilize alprazolam. With the water dissolving method maybe it’s possible to skip the switch.  I don’t know. You should not reduce every 1-2 weeks. It should be every 4 weeks or more. You are a long term patient since you were 13.  (That’s really surprising.  Does your uncle know that?) So, you will need to reduce very, very slowly.  
 

You need to get started right away because you only have 2 weeks to reinstate benzos IF you decide to do that.  One week is passing now.  You should discuss it with your uncle.  It’s very encouraging that he knows about tapering, but make sure you show him the NICE guidelines and ask him to explain them.  That way he may see something he did not know.
 

There is a link here

 

https://southendccg.nhs.uk/your-health-services/healthcare-professionals/medicines-management/bnf-chapter-4-nervous-system/3493-withdrawal-of-benzodiazepines/file

 

Clink on the blue link inside that document to see more.  From Australia it should work.  I can’t see it from the US.  Otherwise google the NICE benzo guidelines.

[Polkadot]

11 hours ago, Rosetta said:

This is the best advice you will get.  It may seem that taking Celexa is scary, but taking 1 mg is very different from taking 10.  Do you think you can follow the instructions to make a liquid dose of 1 mg?  Do you have an oral syringe?  You can keep the other 9 mg in the refrigerator.

I can’t seem to find posts anywhere about reinstatement actually working, not this severe or far out. I don’t want to get worse, I can barely live like this.   
 

@Altostrata how good are my chances at actually feeling better after reinstating? Have you seen people as severe as me have success with it? 

[Hanna72]

Hi @Polkadot

I am sorry to see you in so much pain.

I have had a few severe crashes through out the years, both from cold turkeys and fast tapers from Paxil. I have gone through it all. Every time I have reinstated I have stabilised. 
You are not doomed. You just have to figure out which drug you want to reinstate, whether it’s celexa or Paxil. The only thing we suggest is doing it slowly from a very low starting dose until you figure out what will do the trick for you. A lot of people only need small doses for reinstatement to work. 
In the end no one here can make that decision for you, which drug you choose, that has to be your decision. I only wanted you to know that Paxil is a very hard drug to taper from and if there is another alternative, I wanted you to be aware that it might help also. 
You can of course reinstate Paxil if it makes you more comfortable. 
I had been off the drug much longer then you  and then reinstated and I am here telling you that I am ok. 
Even though I don’t share in details on my thread how severe my symptoms were, they were severe, to the point I thought I would not recover.

Please know that you will be ok. I know it doesn’t feel like that at the moment, but you will get there.

Are you still taking alprazolam?

 

[Polkadot]

19 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

Even though I don’t share in details on my thread how severe my symptoms were, they were severe, to the point I thought I would not recover.

Did you have symptoms like mine? 
 

im freaking out right now because I have a uti possibly kidney infection and the dr isn’t going to be able to tell how bad it is because my wd symptoms include heavy sweating and feeling hot and cold and whole body pain, feeling worse than I’ve ever felt which are also signs of sepsis. They may send me for IV antibiotics because nobody can tell how sick the infection is making me and how sick wd is making me.

 

I took 0.25 mg alprazolam last night and it did nothing for me. I’m going to need to taper that, too I think.

 

it’s so hard to know what is causing what but I’m terrified of this infection 

[Altostrata]

On 5/2/2021 at 5:57 PM, Altostrata said:

You might wait a few days before taking 1mg citalopram AT THE SAME TIME EACH DAY to lessen the SSRI withdrawal symptoms. Ordinarily, this helps, people stabilize for some months, and then taper off by tiny amounts.

 

[Hanna72]

@Polkadot

3 minutes ago, Polkadot said:

Did you have symptoms like mine? 

Yes, to the point I could not work and I was housebound because of terror.

I am sure the doctor will be able to figure out if you have a kidney infection by doing tests on you, but in the meantime try not to over analyse it when you haven’t gotten any results on it.

I know it’s hard to tell what is going on when you’re body and mind is in this withdrawals state, and it’s totally understandable that it is scaring you. 
If you have an infection, it will be treated. 

13 minutes ago, Polkadot said:

I took 0.25 mg alprazolam last night and it did nothing for me. I’m going to need to taper that, too I think.

Ok so it does not help you with sleep ? 
I would focus on reinstatement for now, you can always taper alprazolam later.  One thing at a time.

In the meantime, take good care of yourself, my thoughts are with you.

[Polkadot]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

You might wait a few days before taking 1mg citalopram AT THE SAME TIME EACH DAY to lessen the SSRI withdrawal symptoms. Ordinarily, this helps, people stabilize for some months, and then taper off by tiny amounts.

 @Altostrata I completely understand that Paxil is hellish to get off, I mean, that’s what got me here. 
 

what confuses me is the advice about reinstating is to reinstate the drug that was ct or stopped for the best chance at success. 
 

I have seen in older posts where you recommend to reinstate Paxil.

 

im confused at how if the guidelines suggest the same drug, a different one could work. There are so many variables I guess. 
 

I don’t have much time. I’m so physically weak and sick. Have you seen Celexa help severe Paxil withdrawl? 
 

im just confused and terrified. 

[Polkadot]

On 5/6/2021 at 9:24 PM, Rosetta said:

You need to get started right away because you only have 2 weeks to reinstate benzos IF you decide to do that.  One week is passing now.  You should discuss it with your uncle.  It’s very encouraging that he knows about tapering, but make sure you show him the NICE guidelines and ask him to explain them.  That way he may see something he did not know.

I don’t know if I have a dependency or not and I can’t work it out on symptoms because I’m so incredibly ill all the time. Is it safer to assume I do have one and work to taper? I don’t even know how to stabilise on it. 

[Polkadot]

On 5/6/2021 at 9:24 PM, Rosetta said:

You are a long term patient since you were 13.  (That’s really surprising.  Does your uncle know that?) So, you will need to reduce very, very slowly.  

I very rarely took it for most of those years until the 10 days recently. 
 

 

[Rosetta]

That’s good.  Most people accidentally get hooked over all those years.  Nonetheless, your body is not brand new to this drug.  We don’t know how, but for some people that makes a difference in whether they suffer withdrawal effects to a greater degree.  There is so much no one knows about these drugs and each person responds differently to them, to withdrawal and to reinstatement.  Very small doses to start help to ensure that adverse reactions that occur are not so bad if they occur at all.

It’s impossible to know if you are dependent on alprazolam or if you are struggling with Paxil dependency only.    
 

When you took it for 10 days, did you take it to sleep only?  Did it knock you out for hours?

 

Did you say that 0.25 did nothing the last time you tried it? Or did it calm you, but not enough to sleep? You do not want enough to be knocked out cold.  That will cause more problems.  You want enough to calm your nervous system so that you can get a break from the symptoms being so strong.  You may not get that response on your first dose.  It may take a few days or a week to see how it will help.
 

Having not taken it for a few days, your body’s response to it may be stronger than it was on the last of those 10 days.  Be careful, and don’t over do it.

 

You need a reliable source from a doctor and pharmacy that is a real, licensed pharmacy.  Never, ever get it from anywhere else.  You would have no idea what was actually in the pill or if it was the right dose.  So, I would get an appointment with your uncle immediately.  You can always decide not to take it later.  Maybe you don’t want to see your uncle?  I keep suggesting him because he is aware of tapering.

As for Paxil vs. citalopram, Alto would not suggest it if she did not believe it is the better choice in a world of crummy choices.  I can’t speak for her or her reasons, but I trust her judgement.  If she told me that trying citalopram was a better route, I would do that. 
 

We never know how anyone will respond to reinstatement.  For some people, Paxil is particularly tricky when it comes to sensitized nervous systems.  I had a reaction to it myself.  The fact that it is hard to taper means it has two strikes against it.
 

Reinstatement will not magically make you feel 100% better, but there’s a chance, and if it is done carefully, you can find out if it will work with minimal risk.

 

Of course, do not reinstate both the AD and the benzo the same time.  You need to be able to discern which is causing what result.  Give it about a week on the benzo at least, I would think.

 

 

[Polkadot]

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

When you took it for 10 days, did you take it to sleep only?  Did it knock you out for hours?

 

Did you say that 0.25 did nothing the last time you tried it? Or did it calm you, but not enough to sleep?

No, it was to lower my heart rate of 140 and allow me to breathe. It didn’t knock me out at all. It used to even at very small doses but I think my cns welcomed the slowing down. 

 

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

We never know how anyone will respond to reinstatement.  For some people, Paxil is particularly tricky when it comes to sensitized nervous systems.  I had a reaction to it myself.  The fact that it is hard to taper means it has two strikes against it.

That is an issue I was thinking of but I am so desperate for relief. 

 

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Reinstatement will not magically make you feel 100% better, but there’s a chance, and if it is done carefully, you can find out if it will work with minimal risk.

This is why I’m thinking of killing myself honestly. I can’t continue on no sleep and my heart can’t take beating so fast all the time. My body is giving up. I have an infection and will need antibiotics today which will make me worse with kindling. I’m already dying. 

 

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Of course, do not reinstate both the AD and the benzo the same time.  You need to be able to discern which is causing what result.  Give it about a week on the benzo at least, I would think.

I don’t have a week. My body won’t last that long. I need this fixed immediately. 
 

I spent all night writhing in pain with zero sleep, mum wanted to call an ambulance but what can the hospital do? 

[Polkadot]

I need an immediate fix. My body is shutting down. I am in excruciating pain with my stomach gurgling and burning and reflux. My whole body is deeply aching. 
 

i can’t believe I’ve done this to myself. 
 

I can’t live like this. I can’t handle not being able to take antibiotics or have injections. 
 

I am dying. I haven’t slept in 2 weeks now. 
 

can the hospital help me? 

[Rosetta]

Your body can take a lot more than you think it can.  I had a high heart rate for months when I didn’t know why.  Perhaps the doctor can give a prescription before you decide to give up?  It’s worth a shot isn’t it?  You don’t want to die; you want to feel better.  You will feel better even if you don’t reinstate.  Your body can take care of this.  However, the idea of reinstating is to help get you calmed down faster.

 

Your brain is lying to you.  It’s a part of withdrawal from these drugs.  It’s telling you that you can’t survive this, but you can.  Many of us have.  If you put off doing something rash, you will see that.  

How about if you decide you will wait one more day each time you have that thought?  Putting it off does not take away the option, but you can give yourself a little more time to see if your body is repairing itself.  Sometimes, when a repair is made, we feel worse.  Did you know that?  Feeling worse does not mean you are doomed.  It actually means that your body and brain are doing what they should do.  It’s very counterintuitive, and people are not aware of this aspect of withdrawal, so they panic during a wave.  The wave, as awful as it feels, is evidence of healing.

 

Did you have a test that indicates your kidneys are infected?  A sonogram?  
 

Have you looked up the various antibiotics and learned which ones are safer?  You do not want Cipro.  Refuse that.  You don’t want any of the fluoroquinolones.  See this warning https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/fda-updates-warnings-fluoroquinolone-antibiotics-risks-mental-health-and-low-blood-sugar-adverse

 

Type into google survivingantidepressants and then the name of any drug you are given.  You will find posts by other members about their experiences.  Here’s a link to the topic https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24457-antibiotics-in-withdrawal/

 

[Rosetta]

Can the hospital help you? Yes, it can. If you are faced with the option to take yourself out of the game or go to the hospital, then go.

[Rosetta]

That thought, “I am dying,” I had that.  It’s just a thought.  It means nothing.  You are not your thoughts.  When it comes to you while you are in pain and suffering all these odd symptoms? It feels so real.  It is not real.  It does not mean you are dying.

[Polkadot]

11 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Your body can take a lot more than you think it can.  I had a high heart rate for months when I didn’t know why.  Perhaps the doctor can give a prescription before you decide to give up?  It’s worth a shot isn’t it?  You don’t want to die; you want to feel better.  You will feel better even if you don’t reinstate.  Your body can take care of this.  However, the idea of reinstating is to help get you calmed down faster.

A prescription of what? 
 

12 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Did you have a test that indicates your kidneys are infected?  A sonogram?  

I had a urine test and they can’t tell how bad the infection is because my symptoms all mimic sepsis and severe infection. I don’t know what is what. 

 

13 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Have you looked up the various antibiotics and learned which ones are safer?  You do not want Cipro.  Refuse that.  You don’t want any of the fluoroquinolones.  See this warning https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/fda-updates-warnings-fluoroquinolone-antibiotics-risks-mental-health-and-low-blood-sugar-adverse

I had a look yesterday. They will give me keflex. 

 

9 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

That thought, “I am dying,” I had that.  It’s just a thought.  It means nothing.  You are not your thoughts.  When it comes to you while you are in pain and suffering all these odd symptoms? It feels so real.  It is not real.  It does not mean you are dying.

I know you are trying to encourage me but my body is actually shutting down. I have no immune system at all and I’m very very sick. 
 

I need this fixed immediately 

[Rosetta]

If you go you MUST appear relatively calm and together.  Do not freak out or do anything odd.  Don’t yell or be loud; don’t act hysterical.  Tell them you are having all sorts of physical symptoms.  Keep the majority of your psychological symptoms to yourself.  You can say you feel anxiety and panic like never before.  Do not say you are “dying.”  You can calmly say you feel scared.  You can say you don’t understand what’s happening, but say it calmly.
 

I suspect the hospital will give you a benzo.  A lot of ERs are familiar with benzo withdrawal, and that’s what this will look like to them.  You can take your prescription bottle with you.  
 

It would be good if you didn’t take the antibiotic and the benzos at the same time, but depending on your infection . . . Do you have a fever?  Do you have elevated blood work indicating an infection?

 

Do not allow them to inject you with any psychotropics.  I doubt they will even try because you haven’t taken anything except ADs and alprazolam.  

[Rosetta]

Keflex should be safe.  Take a small dose at first and see how it goes.

 

How do they mimic sepsis?  Who told you that?  Granted hospitals and doctor do drop the ball, but if a doctor thinks you have sepsis why didn’t he admit you to the hospital immediately?  Did he say he’s not sure, that you missing some symptoms if sepsis.  
 

What makes you think you have no immune system?  Can you tell us what he said about that?

 

This is not “all in your head.”  I believe you that your body is acting strangly, but what those strange symptoms mean is another ball of wax.

[Polkadot]

9 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

you go you MUST appear relatively calm and together.  Do not freak out or do anything odd.  Don’t yell or be loud; don’t act hysterical.  Tell them you are having all sorts of physical symptoms.  Keep the majority of your psychological symptoms to yourself.  You can say you feel anxiety and panic like never before.  Do not say you are “dying.”  You can calmly say you feel scared.  You can say you don’t understand what’s happening, but say it calmly.

I am writhing uncontrollably in agony. 

 

9 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

It would be good if you didn’t take the antibiotic and the benzos at the same time, but depending on your infection . . . Do you have a fever?  Do you have elevated blood work indicating an infection?

On and off fever for weeks now. No blood work was done.

 

5 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

How do they mimic sepsis?  Who told you that?  Granted hospitals and doctor do drop the ball, but if a doctor thinks you have sepsis why didn’t he admit you to the hospital immediately?  Did he say he’s not sure, that you missing some symptoms if sepsis.  
 

What makes you think you have no immune system?  Can you tell us what he said about that?

 

I have nursing experience and I know the signs. Extreme pain, feeling worse than you’ve ever felt before, sweating, tachycardia, I have them all anyway so nobody would know. 
 

I have no immune system because I haven’t slept in 2 weeks. The body can’t sustain that an fight infection. My goddamn doctor is sick now after I asked him the other day if his losing his voice was because he’s sick. I don’t see how I can make it out of this . 

[Rosetta]

I see.  Yes, those symptoms are scary.    They could mean sepsis, but without bloodwork you can’t be sure.  As a medical professional, you know that it would be good if you had bloodwork, because numerous people present on this forum with very concerning symptoms, but the bloodwork shows nothing.  People have MRIs, CT scans, EKGs, sonograms, and all kinds of tests to try to find out why they have scary symptoms.  Maybe having bloodwork would help you feel less upset?
 

It’s very frustrating to have these symptoms during WD, because we don’t know when they mean we have a particular disease and when we are dealing with dysautonomic symptoms due to all the neurotransmitters being randomly produced during WD or PWS.

 

Tachycardia is serious, of course.  It should be checked out.  Did you have an EKG?

Sweating, pain, reflux, and insomnia are classic benzo withdrawal symptoms that also occur during AD withdrawal.  Tachycardia also occurs during ADWD, it seems.  Various muscle spasms and stiffness resulting in pain, joint inflammation with pain, and even dyskinesia or Parkinsonism type symptoms can result from AD WD and benzo withdrawal.  (In people with long histories of taking benzos everyday, heart issues are very, very serious.)

 

It would be good to know if taking a bit of alprazolam helped with your pain.

 

How about if you go to urgent care and ask for bloodwork or a sonogram?

[Altostrata]

If you have a kidney infection, please consult a doctor immediately.  We cannot treat such things here.

 

You have Paxil withdrawal syndrome and on top of that, if I read you correctly, you just cold-turkeyed alprazolam (when you have a stash of diazepam). You've had withdrawal syndrome before, is that correct? Maybe when you stopped Xanax in 2016? Which of your current symptoms do you think are withdrawal symptoms?

 

You have been pondering reinstatement of an SSRI for a week, but set yourself up to fail by taking far more than suggested. 

 

Because this is a peer support site, we can only suggest ways to cope to our members. Each member has to do the rest, to take care of themselves in their own best interest. We can't do that for you. 

 

You have received many suggestions about how to deal with withdrawal syndrome, but haven't followed any of them. Not sure how much we can add. We can't make decisions for you.

[Polkadot]

11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

You have Paxil withdrawal syndrome and on top of that, if I read you correctly, you just cold-turkeyed alprazolam (when you have a stash of diazepam). You've had withdrawal syndrome before, is that correct? Maybe when you stopped Xanax in 2016? Which of your current symptoms do you think are withdrawal symptoms?

I kept being told I couldn’t be dependent on the alprazolam by numerous doctors. I don’t remember ever having withdrawals from it before when I was very young. I will talk to the dr tomorrow and insist on a slow taper of diazepam. 
 

im unsure which of the drugs my symptoms could relate to and it’s possibility both. I have all the symptoms of severe withdrawals 
 

11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

You have been pondering reinstatement of an SSRI for a week, but set yourself up to fail by taking far more than suggested. 

I’m in hospital tonight 

with SI and physical symptoms. The psych NP called a psychiatrist briefly who is familiar with mad in America’s coverage of withdrawals. He made a suggestion to get Paxil compounded and said that I had previously been at a rate of approx 7mg a day with my dosing. I don’t agree with that reinstatement dose or necessarily the Paxil but it was nice to be validated. 
 

I am struggling to make a decision because of the lack of uncertainty and the possibility of never getting better or getting worse. I just wish there were clear answers that could give me a definite. 

[Rosetta]

I’m very glad you are safe.  
 

I would not start at 7 mg, if I were you, of course, but I don’t think you will.
 

Compounding has been a problem for some members.  The compounding pharmacy may not be precise.  With large doses the variance between the capsules is not as great, percentage-wise.  Trying to compound 1 mg is difficult, and the pharmacy may not get it right.  The regulations in some states and countries allow the capsules to be off by 10 or 20 or 30 percent.  For a person in withdrawal that sort of variance is disasterous.  For a healthy person, it could bring on withdrawal.  
 

So, those members who had problems with compounded medications have decided to use the water titration method to get the right doses.  Some members dry cut, but, in my opinion, that is for people who are stable and healthy.  It can be too hard to do for people who are ill.  It requires a scale and dexterity, etc.  
 

For someone as ill as you are, I think it is best to start with the pills made by the manufacturer which are not as variable and dissolve them in water.  Maybe, if you decide to reinstate the AD, the doctor will give you 10 mg pills.

 

As for the benzo, the same rationale applies regarding compounded medications.  The water titration method has worked very well for many members here.  You need such tiny doses.  I would not trust a compounding pharmacy with my health in these circumstances.  I would want the doctor to prescribe pills made by the manufacturer.
 

Please let us know how you are doing.

[Altostrata]

Yes, I understand you have been misled, misinformed, and mismedicated. That is true of close to all of our 15,000 members.

 

You were very much aware of the dangers of abruptly going off alprazolam, you asked for advice earlier in this topic about going off (but failed to mention you had diazepam on hand).

 

Good to hear you're in the hands of informed people at the hospital. Please continue under their care, I believe your case is too complex for peer support here.