Jadenatalie: Hello! 7 weeks into withdrawal and I'm in hell.

[Jadenatalie]

Link to Success Story

 

Hello everyone. New to this website. Looking for similar stories, words of advice, encouragement etc! I've been on SSRI's for 5 years, i came off them fully 7 weeks ago due to them not agreeing with me anymore and i want to manage my anxiety on my own. My doctor suggested a cold turkey quit as he doesnt believe in antidepressant withdrawal, i argued a 4 week withdrawal plan. thats the most he'd allow. Anyway, ive come off and for 7 weeks ive had probably every single withdrawal symptom possible, ive only had 2 short windows since stopping. I'm currently in a bad wave with tearfulness, anxiety, nausea, diahroea, dizzyness, skin itching and tinging, tremors, the list goes on! I'm taking the following supplements, probiotics, omega 3, vitamin d, magnesium glycinate, calcium and a multivitamin. I've taken the majority of these for longer than my withdrawal, i didnt start them due to withdrawal symptoms. I guess im just here to say hello and check out everyone elses stories on this horrible journey. btw, i'm not considering re-instating any meds because they always give me start up side effects anyway and ive done a hard 7 weeks and dont want to un-do the progress i've made! Much love, Jade x

Edited June 27, 2023 by getofflex

[arbor]

Welcome Jadenatalie,

 

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this difficult time.  Please know you're not alone.  The symptoms you describe are typical to an adverse reaction to psychiatric drug withdrawal.  The damage is not permanent.  However, we can't predict how long it will take for you to heal.  I hope many of the topics here and testimonies can be useful to you.  

 

First, I want to say, Congratulations for getting through 7 weeks.  It takes such enormous strength to hold up against the mental and physical strain our bodies are going through.    As the intensity of the first acute stage subsides, recovery begins its patience-requiring process. 

 

Here are some sites you may find helpful:

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

And for the symptoms you’re describing I recommend going to

 

 symptoms and self care

 

We don't recommend many supplements, but 3 that we do recommend are magnesium, omega-3, and melatonin. Here are the links for info about those. 

 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

Melatonin

 

 

This will be your Introduction topic where you can ask questions, keep a record of your progress, and connect with other members.

 

I’m glad you decided to share your story.

Arbor

 

 

 

[Jadenatalie]

Thank you for your reply Arbor it is much appreciated 🙂 I will check out those links x

[arbor]

@Jadenatalie Sending best wishes.  Stay in touch--🌳Arbor

[Jadenatalie]

9 weeks update... So I think I've had some very minor windows, only on evenings when I'm at home though. I'm lucky in that I am still managing to go to work (only just). I can't afford sick pay so I have no other choice. But I am still very much in the thick of withdrawal feeling terrible. At the moment it's mainly my stomach suffering, it feels yuck all the time, rumbling, nausea, diarrhoea, trapped wind etc. I have also had some weird visual things where I can see shadows of stuff for a while, kinda like when you've had a flash from a camera in your eyes and it stays for a few seconds after. Like that. I feel my life is on hold at the moment it's abit rubbish tbh because I have a lovely partner and little boy, so I have everything I could wish for. I'm meditating daily still and reading self help books. I've joined the gym again so I'm hoping I can feel well enough to go to the gym soon. X

[arbor]

Hi @Jadenatalie--I know how challenging it is to be going through w/d while working, and then also you're taking care of your little boy.  Your family sounds lovely.  I'm impressed with how well you're taking care of yourself.  As far as I'm concerned, it's our best approach.  For me the routines of meditating, reading, walking, and trying to eat well at least provide a structure as the w/d issues come and go.  The vision problems happen for other people as well, and I believe we can expect these to slowly resolve over time.  Here is a way of bringing up vision topics on the site:  enter into your regular computer browser:  vision problems: survivingantidepressants.org.

Thanks for your update.  Thinking of you, Arbor

[DaBro]

Sending you strength for your recovery from withdrawal Jade. Be strong, patient and kind to yourself. 

[Jadenatalie]

On 5/18/2021 at 12:51 AM, arbor said:

Hi @Jadenatalie--I know how challenging it is to be going through w/d while working, and then also you're taking care of your little boy.  Your family sounds lovely.  I'm impressed with how well you're taking care of yourself.  As far as I'm concerned, it's our best approach.  For me the routines of meditating, reading, walking, and trying to eat well at least provide a structure as the w/d issues come and go.  The vision problems happen for other people as well, and I believe we can expect these to slowly resolve over time.  Here is a way of bringing up vision topics on the site:  enter into your regular computer browser:  vision problems: survivingantidepressants.org.

Thanks for your update.  Thinking of you, Arbor

Thank you Arbor. Its very tough, i'm trying my best to help myself and hoping it will speed up my recovery. 

[Jadenatalie]

21 hours ago, DaBro said:

Sending you strength for your recovery from withdrawal Jade. Be strong, patient and kind to yourself. 

Thank you so much for your kind words. 

[Jadenatalie]

10 week update: so the symptoms i'm still getting consist mainly of: severe digestion issues (nausea, stomach ache, diahroea, excess trapped gas causing pain, cramping, indigestion), i have ordered some 'symprove' so im hoping that helps somewhat, very emotional, crying daily over nothing, weird tingling twitching sensations normally in legs and feet, aching muscles, heart palpatations, visual disturbances, random chills when im not cold, brain zaps or a second of dizzyness as im trying to fall asleep sometimes. I'm still going to work full time, eating as healthy as possible, meditating twice daily, im also having therapy weekly now. 

 

I do seem to have windows and waves but the windows are very short. i'm just plodding on and taking everyday as it comes. cant help but wish my life away though till im 'better'. x

[BooBoo19]

Hello Jade, unfortunately you are not alone but being on this site gives you hope, inspiration and support coupled with knowing that you are not on your own.  Keep strong, time does make things better,for me it has been increasingly slow and you do not realise there are improvements because the symptoms are so debilitating.  I have an excellent GP who has acknowledged this is withdrawal and has only wanted to help me get through it which has been great for me. However, it is the worst thing I have ever been through.  I say this not to frighten you but to say at the beginning of my withdrawal I had suicide ideation, insomnia, lost 2 stone in weight and was having to keep diazepam close to me (I only took a couple) now I am sleeping 6-8 hours, have a better appetite, back working and do not even consider diazepam.  Nevertheless, it is still hard, I still have fear, anxiety, jitteriness, light headedness etc. but not as intense so I am healing albeit not at the speed that I would like or medical professionals think. You will heal as well, we just do not think that it will happen to us.  Keep strong you, you got this girl!!!

[Jadenatalie]

7 minutes ago, BooBoo19 said:

Hello Jade, unfortunately you are not alone but being on this site gives you hope, inspiration and support coupled with knowing that you are not on your own.  Keep strong, time does make things better,for me it has been increasingly slow and you do not realise there are improvements because the symptoms are so debilitating.  I have an excellent GP who has acknowledged this is withdrawal and has only wanted to help me get through it which has been great for me. However, it is the worst thing I have ever been through.  I say this not to frighten you but to say at the beginning of my withdrawal I had suicide ideation, insomnia, lost 2 stone in weight and was having to keep diazepam close to me (I only took a couple) now I am sleeping 6-8 hours, have a better appetite, back working and do not even consider diazepam.  Nevertheless, it is still hard, I still have fear, anxiety, jitteriness, light headedness etc. but not as intense so I am healing albeit not at the speed that I would like or medical professionals think. You will heal as well, we just do not think that it will happen to us.  Keep strong you, you got this girl!!!

Hi  Thanks for your comment. I dont think theres a huge time difference between when we both stopped our meds, i stopped in March this year so i'm about a month behind you according to your signature  i have had a couple of suicidal moments and also lost weight etc. its been terrible for the past 10 weeks. i dont bother mentioning withdrawal to my GP as i know he doesnt believe in it anyway. i've never taken benzos, i just have beta blockers to take as and when i need them but ive not used them much as i want to avoid taking tablets as much as possible 😕 hopefully in another month i'll be feeling even better like you are. just got to keep plodding on and hope the end is in sight eventually! hope you're okay xx

[Jadenatalie]

11 week update: this week I have felt very emotional, tearful, depressed (even though i was on the meds for anxiety, not depression)! the other main symptom I've still got is stomach issues, almost constant uncomfortable feeling in upper abdo, gurgling, nausea, shooting pains, indigestion etc. The stomach issues are bothering me the most and don't seem to be lessening. I'm eating incredibly healthy also. I had stool samples come back normal for inflammation, h-pylori and parasites. Blood tests all normal. I've got an ultrasound scan booked for my upper abdo in 3 weeks, I imagine they wont find anything to be honest and that it's just a combination of anxiety and withdrawal. I'm on the NHS waiting list for CBT therapy but its months away yet so I'm trying to find a private therapist in the meantime. Going back on the medication has definitely crossed my mind but i really want to conquer this on my own and I'll be so proud of myself if I can manage it and manage my anxiety on my own without relying on meds.  But, it is very hard 😢 

[Hanna72]

Hi @Jadenatalie

First I want to congratulate you for being med free. What an amazing accomplishment you have reached. You should be very proud of yourself.

I get it about the anxiety, wanting myself to be able to have skills in managing my anxiety. What is amazing though is that it can be done. 
Our brains have been costumed to numb our process of finding skills and applying them into our daily lives and we really haven’t had to do the work so now is YOUR time. Now that you are drug free, you need to teach your mind that feeling anxiety is not necessary a bad thing, it’s about how you react to it’s present. Anxiety is a crucial emotion that has helped humans for spotting danger and saving our lives for thousands years.

Meditation has helped me a lot, and observing my anxiety thoughts when they pop up. It’s a process that takes time and practice. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself, look how far you have come and believe in yourself.

I know it’s hard, but think of how empowering we will feel once we can rely only on ourselves rather then a pill.

 

Hang in there you can do it 🙏
 

 

 

[Jadenatalie]

23 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Hi @Jadenatalie

First I want to congratulate you for being med free. What an amazing accomplishment you have reached. You should be very proud of yourself.

I get it about the anxiety, wanting myself to be able to have skills in managing my anxiety. What is amazing though is that it can be done. 
Our brains have been costumed to numb our process of finding skills and applying them into our daily lives and we really haven’t had to do the work so now is YOUR time. Now that you are drug free, you need to teach your mind that feeling anxiety is not necessary a bad thing, it’s about how you react to it’s present. Anxiety is a crucial emotion that has helped humans for spotting danger and saving our lives for thousands years.

Meditation has helped me a lot, and observing my anxiety thoughts when they pop up. It’s a process that takes time and practice. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself, look how far you have come and believe in yourself.

I know it’s hard, but think of how empowering we will feel once we can rely only on ourselves rather then a pill.

 

Hang in there you can do it 🙏
 

 

 

Thank you Hanna!  Yes, exactly. im learning so much about anxiety recently and have read a few books that explain anxiety in depth and the acceptance method etc. i feel knowledge is power with anxiety definitely. Yes, meditation i do enjoy, i dont know whether i'm seeing any benefits yet but ive only been doing it approx 5 weeks daily. Thats exactly what i keep telling myself, how much better i'll feel when i'm fully free and can trust my body to look after itself.  x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 11 again, just weighed myself this morning and ive lost just over a stone since stopping meds. i have had severe digestive issues, so i have cleaned my diet up massively. So thats probably the cause of the weight loss, but i cant help but worry that the weight loss is something more sinister. i did have blood tests and stool tests about 3 weeks ago and they were all perfectly normal. 

[BooBoo19]

Hello @Jadenatalie, I am now 17 weeks off medication and although have recently had some positive days (not back to my happy self fully) but anxiety and sleep remains an issue.  I have found the anxiety is withdrawal and that unfortunately I just have to ride with it as there is nothing triggering it and I have never had anxiety like this before.  It is debilitating and soul destroying at times.  I lost 2 stone in weight, had an ultrasound and due to the weight loss I had a CT scan - both were all clear.  I think it is a symptom of withdrawal unfortunately.  I understand the need to want the pain of withdrawal to end but I am better than I was a month ago and keep telling myself in another month I will be better even more.  I have accepted (frustratingly) that it is only time that will allow me to heal.  Keep strong x

[Jadenatalie]

15 hours ago, BooBoo19 said:

Hello @Jadenatalie, I am now 17 weeks off medication and although have recently had some positive days (not back to my happy self fully) but anxiety and sleep remains an issue.  I have found the anxiety is withdrawal and that unfortunately I just have to ride with it as there is nothing triggering it and I have never had anxiety like this before.  It is debilitating and soul destroying at times.  I lost 2 stone in weight, had an ultrasound and due to the weight loss I had a CT scan - both were all clear.  I think it is a symptom of withdrawal unfortunately.  I understand the need to want the pain of withdrawal to end but I am better than I was a month ago and keep telling myself in another month I will be better even more.  I have accepted (frustratingly) that it is only time that will allow me to heal.  Keep strong x

Hey  Yes, its incredibly frustrating! I just keep thinking i cant wait to be 'normal' again! im not even sure what normal feels like for me anymore its been that long. Yes i think anxiety is a massive withdrawal symptom unfortunately  I'm having an ultrasound scan on my upper abdomen in 2 weeks to check my gallbladder etc.. im pretty certain they wont find anything. I am slightly better than i was a few weeks ago but i'm still suffering massively everyday. But i'm going to keep going and believe that my body can heal itself from 5 years of med use! sending hugs to you x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 12: I can't actually believe i've made it this far. this past 12 weeks has been absolute torture, but, i'm still here, still off the meds. I feel like 12 weeks/3 months is a big milestone for me! I'm hoping that in another 12 weeks i'll be feeling much better than i do now. i feel at the moment my anxiety is still quite high, i feel because im getting physical withdrawal side effects im putting those down to genuine illnesses like i could potentially have cancer etc. i think i sometimes forget im in withdrawal and these meds cause havoc. at the moment im still suffering with digestive issues prodominantly, but im also having very random painful stabbing pains anywhere on my body, ear, arm, finger, leg etc! I also feel like i get cramp very easily in my legs since stopping the meds. Over the past few days i have started with pelvic pain and cramps, i'm presuming it is due to my digestive system being out of whack but it is very unsettling. i've been constantly ringing my doc since stopping reg different physical issues and i think i need to accept that the likelyhood is that whatever i feel is withdrawal, as 12 weeks off is still very early. I'm hoping this pelvic pain passes because i dont want to have to ring my doctor again, i feel he already doesnt take me seriously because i have anxiety and theres never anything wrong with me on all the tests he runs! 

[Hanna72]

@Jadenatalie

56 minutes ago, Jadenatalie said:

I can't actually believe i've made it this far

yay, congratulations, yes it is a big milestone. I personally find every step no matter how small I might think it is, is in fact steps in the right direction, and thats what counts.

My advice to you is work on coping skills, feed your soul with positivity, listen to your body and doing more is not always better, but taking good care of your nervous system is so important. I made the mistake of pushing to hard to often and being very impatient. Lesson learned.

1 hour ago, Jadenatalie said:

and theres never anything wrong with me on all the tests he runs! 

thats good, and now you know that its likely withdrawals, so rest assured and you can observe those symptoms and tell yourself, oh ok, my body is working on repairing itself. I find comfort in thinking that way, and I then shift my thinking elsewhere. Not changing and fighting the feeling, but gently noting it.

 

Enjoy your day.

[Jadenatalie]

16 minutes ago, Hanna72 said:

@Jadenatalie

yay, congratulations, yes it is a big milestone. I personally find every step no matter how small I might think it is, is in fact steps in the right direction, and thats what counts.

My advice to you is work on coping skills, feed your soul with positivity, listen to your body and doing more is not always better, but taking good care of your nervous system is so important. I made the mistake of pushing to hard to often and being very impatient. Lesson learned.

thats good, and now you know that its likely withdrawals, so rest assured and you can observe those symptoms and tell yourself, oh ok, my body is working on repairing itself. I find comfort in thinking that way, and I then shift my thinking elsewhere. Not changing and fighting the feeling, but gently noting it.

 

Enjoy your day.

Thanks Hanna! Yes, i have a diary at the moment that i write all my successes in since i've stopped the meds to keep me motivated! everytime i go out with friends or my partner etc or anytime i do something that makes me anxious but i just accept the feelings and flow with it. i'm meditating a minimum of 2x daily at the moment too. 

 

Yes, thats what i'm telling myself, that im healing and it will take a while but im healing constantly. 

 

You too  x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 12, day 4...im having a bad day today. I went out last night with my partner for the first time since lockdown etc, so I was very anxious, I always get anxious about going out into the city. Anyway, we had a good time, my stomach issues were kinda bugging me whilst we were out. Over the past week I seem to have developed pelvic pain and cramps very low down, I thought this was withdrawal but about 3 weeks ago I started taking a probiotic called symprove, which I'm putting the cramps down to. Apparently it can give unpleasant digestive side effects so I've stopped taking that now and hope the pelvic pain will subside. 

 

I do feel very lost today, very down in the dumps and I've cried alot. My stomach feels so sick and generally achy. I feel terribly fed up and wonder how I can do this much longer. Sorry for the whine but I just wanted to document my feelings on here. 

 

X

[Jadenatalie]

Another little update today, i feel terrible. i barely slept last night and the night before, im very very tearful, i have terrible stomach ache, nausea and diahroea. I'm at work but i'm not sure how i've made it through most of the day as it's been horrible. I've also had alot of backache over the past week, the backache along with my stomachache is making me think the worst like i could have something wrong with me other than withdrawal. i think it would be a massive coincidence if i did to be honest! Anyway, just wanted to document my bad day hopefully on my next update it might be abit more positive! x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 13 today: The past few days have been quite dicey, i've been quite tearful, my stomach is still a mess, nausea, bloating, aching/nervous stomach feelings. I've also had what i thought was a cold but now i'm thinking it is hayfever as the pollen count in the UK is high at the moment. I am due on my period anyday now so that definitely wont be helping matters! I tend to feel abit worse on a morning and much much better on an evening, i dont know whether thats because thats the healing pattern im in, or whether its because im home from work and relaxing. My job isnt stressful either by the way! 

 

On the saturday just gone i did a massive exposure, as i'm following the anxious truth method of healing my anxiety. Me and my partner went into the city and had food, drinks and bowling, i actually enjoyed it, i did have a couple of anxious moments but they passed. 

 

I have managed to get 6 sessions of free hypnotherapy with a lady who is fully qualified and needs case studies, she seems very knowledgable and was very supportive of me and my decision to come off meds etc. I had my first session last night and i enjoyed it. I know it wont be a miracle cure, but i'm hoping it helps my overall perspective of things and its free so it cant hurt! 

 

Anyway, i'll be back for another update soon! x

[ScottishLass]

Hi j 

I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for your post on my thread. It was really appreciated. 🙏🏻  

 

Im so sorry you too are struggling.    I just had a wee read through aome

of your posts and it seems we have a lot of similar symptoms. It’s **** isnt it!  

 

I see you are in Leeds I lived there for a while doing my first degree. 

 

Im glad you are finding the hypnotherapy helpful and well done on your city visit. I hadn’t really suffered from anxiety before this withdrawal and now I realise how debilitating it can be. You seem like you’re trying hard to manage it. 

 

I hope your next few days are positive. 

 

Take care 

SL

[Jadenatalie]

15 hours ago, ScottishLass said:

Hi j 

I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for your post on my thread. It was really appreciated. 🙏🏻  

 

Im so sorry you too are struggling.    I just had a wee read through aome

of your posts and it seems we have a lot of similar symptoms. It’s **** isnt it!  

 

I see you are in Leeds I lived there for a while doing my first degree. 

 

Im glad you are finding the hypnotherapy helpful and well done on your city visit. I hadn’t really suffered from anxiety before this withdrawal and now I realise how debilitating it can be. You seem like you’re trying hard to manage it. 

 

I hope your next few days are positive. 

 

Take care 

SL

Thank you Scottishlass! Yes, it's literally terrible. No one day is the same and that unsettles me alot. I cant wait to feel some stability in my life again. Aw lovely! 

 

Were you on the medication for depression then originally? I went on for anxiety. It is truly horrific, being at war with your own mind is very frightening and tiring. I'm doing the best i can in the midst of these horrible withdrawal symptoms! 

 

You too hun, thank you for commenting xx

[Jadenatalie]

Week 14 update: I've actually had a pretty rough week this week. Panic has appeared, i have suffered with panic attacks and panic before but the first panic attack i had was SSRI induced after i had started the meds, about 2-3 days later i had the mother of all panic attacks which then put the fear of panic into me! anyway, I've been going about life as normal as i can, regardless of the anxiety and panic, its been very hard. The level of general anxiety seems to have also ramped up the past week, so I've had a very anxiety and panic filled week. I'm hoping this settles and it is just part of withdrawal recovery. I have even taken the odd beta blocker to see if it would help and it hasn't taken the edge off at all, when usually it would. 

 

I still have general symptoms of stomach ache, nausea, jaw tightness which causes headaches, cramping easily, still get random shooting pains in my very low pelvis area that come and go. I had a lot to do over the last week, went out for dinner with my partner and son, went out for dinner with my mum, went to a kids birthday party, had counselling and hypnotherapy and I've got an US scan tonight to check there's nothing wrong with my upper organs due to the stomach ache. Alot of people that i havent seen for a while when they see me say, wow you've lost so much weight you look great! - i certainly dont feel great and the weight loss is from stomach ache and lack of apetite in withdrawal. To be honest, id rather be overweight but happy! 

 

I'm hoping this massive spike of anxiety and panic settles soon. I'm reading 'the anxious truth' by drew linsalata and listening to his podcasts etc so i'm hoping that will help the anxiety in the long run too. Its been a real struggler of a week to be honest. Hope this wave ends soon. x

[Jadenatalie]

Oh and i also had my first covid jab 2 days ago! so i've literally been non-stop. x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 15: I've had a pretty terrible week to be honest. I feel like the wheels have completely fallen off. I started with a huge anxiety spike about 2-3 weeks ago which hasnt lessened at all yet. I've had another busy weekend at the seaside so i've done alot of things i didnt want to due to anxiety but i did them anyway. Since having my covid jab ive had some weird symptoms, ive started bleeding inbetween my period, i've also got swollen lymph nodes under my left armpit. Hopefully these will pass soon as i had the jab 9 days ago. 

 

Over the past 5-6 days, i have felt particularly bad. I have started with severe nausea to the point of almost vomiting alot, dizziness and unsteadiness on my feet, severe brain fog, headaches. these symptoms seem to come in waves throughout the day and honestly i feel very poorly like im dying literally! The worst part is, i dont know whether its anxiety, withdrawal or the covid vaccine causing these bad issues. I'm hoping that whatever it is passes soon as i feel like im seriously suffering and struggling at the moment due to these symptoms. I'm pretty convinced its a mix of withdrawal and anxiety because i did my hypnotherapy last night and felt so much better after and i slept okay too about 6 hours. 

 

I dont know whether it was a good idea having my first covid vaccine in a wave, but unfortunately at this early stage of recovery, alot of it is waves! because at the moment, i cant understand whats causing my symptoms to be so bad. Im worried that the covid vaccine has poisioned me in some way, which in turn is causing more anxiety. 😢

 

x

[arbor]

Hi @Jadenatalie  Boy these waves can be rough.  Thanks for sharing how you're doing.  It is amazing, isn't it? how challenging w/d can be😞

I send you hugs.  Hang in there.  It will get better--

Arbor🙏

[Jadenatalie]

On 6/24/2021 at 11:49 PM, arbor said:

Hi @Jadenatalie  Boy these waves can be rough.  Thanks for sharing how you're doing.  It is amazing, isn't it? how challenging w/d can be😞

I send you hugs.  Hang in there.  It will get better--

Arbor🙏

Thank you Arbor x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 16: Still in a wave. Feel like i've been in this wave for 3-4 weeks now maybe? I'm not sure if this is normal for waves to last this long? So my symptoms for this wave are: massive anxiety, panic, nausea, headaches, severe brain fog, feel unsteady on my feet and dizzy, i just cant think at all, severe exhaustion and lethargy. 

 

I feel like this is the worst wave i've had since stopping the meds. I think because its gone on for a few weeks now with no let up, its draining me. I'm starting to think something else is wrong with me rather than it just being anxiety and withdrawal... 😢 

 

Not sure what to do apart from keeping plodding on and hoping it passes soon. I'm still working full time, but im barely managing. I'm considering taking some sick time, whether this will help me or not i have no idea. I'm just trying to keep going the best i can at the moment but the brain fog and exhaustion is very unsettling.  

 

Any words of encouragement would be appreciated x

[siderale]

Hello Jadenatalie! As far as I've seen (and experienced myself!) waves can really vary a lot on shapes and sizes... My waves/windows in the first month of withdrawal were really one to three day long each at max. Then I had a one month long wave! and said wave was like you describe: anxiety outbursts, dizziness, exhaustion, brain fog... It's terrible. Truly makes you feel barely functional.

I know it's easy to say but I 'd confidently say to you that: yes, withdrawal can do this. I'd say my wave has passed, but I still have an extremely low "energy reserve", I do one small chore and I'm done for the day. But we will build this back.

If you have concerns about your health, maybe you can run a blood check? In my country it's routine/fairly easy to do so and it can reassure you health-wise (but also show that everything's working right, and that withdrawal is just that tough, yes)

 

I wouldn't know what to advise regarding work. For some people, having sort of a routine, even though exhausting, is better than the opposite. But if you feel like you need a breather from work, I hope you can take some sick time and get some much deserved rest. Take care of you, you're doing good and you are slowly healing even if it doesn't feel like it. We'll get there!!

[Jadenatalie]

1 minute ago, siderale said:

Hello Jadenatalie! As far as I've seen (and experienced myself!) waves can really vary a lot on shapes and sizes... My waves/windows in the first month of withdrawal were really one to three day long each at max. Then I had a one month long wave! and said wave was like you describe: anxiety outbursts, dizziness, exhaustion, brain fog... It's terrible. Truly makes you feel barely functional.

I know it's easy to say but I 'd confidently say to you that: yes, withdrawal can do this. I'd say my wave has passed, but I still have an extremely low "energy reserve", I do one small chore and I'm done for the day. But we will build this back.

If you have concerns about your health, maybe you can run a blood check? In my country it's routine/fairly easy to do so and it can reassure you health-wise (but also show that everything's working right, and that withdrawal is just that tough, yes)

 

I wouldn't know what to advise regarding work. For some people, having sort of a routine, even though exhausting, is better than the opposite. But if you feel like you need a breather from work, I hope you can take some sick time and get some much deserved rest. Take care of you. We'll get there!!

Hi Siderale, thank you for your comment.  Yeah im barely functional at the moment, scraping the barrell with life! This wave has been horrible, i just hope it ends soon.  But yes its out of the ordinary because like you, my waves would generally last 3-5 days and then id get at least 1 good day, at the moment ive not had a good day in 3-4 weeks, i've had an hour here and there of slight normality, usually on an evening but not every evening either. 

 

I had all my bloods checked in May, they were all normal. But its so hard to believe that w/d can make you feel this bad and cause these symptoms! I had the blood tests because id lost a ton of weight and had palpatations, i've lost 2 stone since stopping the meds! I'm already quite slim. 

 

I know, i feel like laying in bed all day at home would probably just make my mind race even more, but being at work is very hard when i can barely function and feel like im only giving 10% to work. i have spoken to my work and they're understanding but they dont fully get it. 

 

I hope we do get there eventually! I see you chose not to re-instate too, good desicion i think  x

[Jadenatalie]

Week 17: Feeling terrible to be honest. I'm still in my wave and have been for approx. 5 weeks now so I'm feeling utterly drained. This week has consisted of 3 hours per night sleep, huge huge anxiety, panic, trembling/tremors, bad nausea, feeling like i need to vomit, feeling disconnected, headaches, jaw ache, dizziness, lightheaded, feeling very low right now. 

 

I do not want to reinstate as I'm 17 weeks out, nearly 4 months. Yes it was a fast/cold turkey taper, but I feel like I wouldn't want to undo all the work and suffering I've done over the past 17 weeks. Plus my partner and my family are very supportive of me staying off the meds. 

 

I'm still menstrually spotting since my covid vaccine 3 weeks ago, i don't know for definite that it was the covid vaccine but this has never happened before. It could also be the stress from the withdrawal maybe. I'm due on my normal period in a few days so i hope it clears up after that. I did speak to a GP and she said there's no warning signs and to let it run its course. 

 

I am worried that having my covid vaccine has made this wave intensify and made it last longer, but I've had the jab now so its done. But it could also be coincidence and I could just genuinely be having a rough withdrawal time with the longest wave I've had so far. 

 

I'm praying for a good day to come along to reassure me that this feeling isn't going to last forever and that it is just withdrawal and not some kind of terminal illness! 

 

Thanks for reading x

[Caspur]

Hi Jadenatalie,

I'm sorry to see you struggle so much. It's a very hard process to go through. My own story is very different to yours, but the suffering was similar.

 

You have done so well, especially remaining in work and looking after your family. Its so good they support you. Many don't, including mine!

 

I wish I could offer you some positive advice that would help you get through, but you will recover. It just takes time.

 

Best wishes

 

Caspur