Jadenatalie: Hello! 7 weeks into withdrawal and I'm in hell.

[Neon]

Hi, I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I think you are doing a tremendous job. Considering what you are going through. My best wishes that you recover soon. 
I would say that if you decide to go back on medication and I dont tell you that you should (it could get better any moment), from what I read on here, they recommend the same medication in a tiny dosage. 

If you can manage without it is of course great but also I wouldnt beat myself up if you cant. Just take it as it comes.

I hope you are feeling better really soon. Big hug and love 😊

btw I also have the muscle issues so I am pretty sure it is all withdrawal related

[Jadenatalie]

1 hour ago, SchrodingerAlive said:

Hey.. You're welcome !

Not necessarily. there is no correlation between longer you take ADs longer you suffer. I have read stories of people taking AD for few days and got slapped by WDs for 2 years. And people taking ADs for 20years and fully recovered in 3 years.  Note the word FULLY. It means you will start feeling better and better stepwise (or by stages).

 

In 3 months from now, you will be much better than today. And in 6 months much better than 3 months and so on ... The recovery does not follow a linear pattern. It has a very weird design !

 

Once you admit deep inside you that everything is just a recovery pattern and those symptoms are a reflection of the brain fight then you will get better

 

Take it easy and let your body / brain do their job. You have nothing to do but to give them a little space

 

May the universe bless you

 

 

 

Hi @SchrodingerAlivei think you're right there. Everyones timelines are so different. I hope in 3 months i will be feeling better than now! This past almost 5 months has been horrific and i wouldnt wish it on anybody.  

 

Thank you so much for your words again. x

[Jadenatalie]

35 minutes ago, Neon said:

Hi, I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I think you are doing a tremendous job. Considering what you are going through. My best wishes that you recover soon. 
I would say that if you decide to go back on medication and I dont tell you that you should (it could get better any moment), from what I read on here, they recommend the same medication in a tiny dosage. 

If you can manage without it is of course great but also I wouldnt beat myself up if you cant. Just take it as it comes.

I hope you are feeling better really soon. Big hug and love 😊

btw I also have the muscle issues so I am pretty sure it is all withdrawal related

Hi @Neon thank you so much, thats so kind of you. 

 

Yes thats what i think, i think that i'd hate to go back on the meds when my better day could be just around the corner! The meds are the last thing i want to do because i've tried so hard this past 20 weeks to keep pushing and keep going and i just hope it will all be worth it. 

 

Yes the muscle issues are terrible, i feel like ive been badly beaten!! Rang my doctor this morning regarding it for peace of mind and he said all my blood tests i had 3 months ago were perfectly normal and he wouldnt imagine anything changing in that time to make me ache this much. He seems to think it will settle on its own (i didnt mention withdrawal because he doesnt believe in it and treats me like a crazy person everytime i bring it up!) 

 

Thank you for popping on my thread  love and hugs to you too! x

[Neon]

Yes I understand, I landed back on meds (more than when I started) and the whole medical profession I encountered thought I was crazy when I said I believed it was withdrawal related. In a way I understand because all these symptoms are so crazy, how could one believe they are all from not taking this tiny pill.

Also my symptoms grew quite insane after I did some crazy stuff that made it much worse.

I think your case is much simpler and I hope you feel better very soon 🙂 

[Greatful]

@Jadenatalie  Stopping by to say you are doing a great job. 

 

I get really worried too about how long this could take, I tell my hubby, this person took this long to heal and this one is still healing years later,  it could take me years,  my hubby keeps saying the same 4 word You don't know that!  When have been in a wave which seems like it has been going on forever, he will calmly remind me there has been improvement.

 

I am so proud of you🌻  Your strength and out look is truly encouraging♥️

[Jadenatalie]

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Jadenatalie  Stopping by to say you are doing a great job. 

 

I get really worried too about how long this could take, I tell my hubby, this person took this long to heal and this one is still healing years later,  it could take me years,  my hubby keeps saying the same 4 word You don't know that!  When have been in a wave which seems like it has been going on forever, he will calmly remind me there has been improvement.

 

I am so proud of you🌻  Your strength and out look is truly encouraging♥️

Hi @Greatful thank you again for popping by. ❤️ We must keep going and look towards our better futures 😊 we can do this. I'm proud of you too and the support you show people on this site is amazing. You're very special. ❤️X

[Jadenatalie]

Hey everyone. I've been in a 'bad wave' for approx 2 months now. Its been a long slog. But, I do have good evenings most evenings, so from approx 6pm until bedtime I feel much more normal, not fully but much better than throughout the day. Is this normal in recovery? I see alot of people have windows of days on end, whereas my windows seem to be a few hours on an evening, not every evening but most evenings... I'm not sure whether that's a good sign of healing or not? Has anyone else experienced the same? It's very rare at the moment that I feel good throughout the day, I always seem to have some physical or mental withdrawal symptom going on. 

 

Any insights would be fab 😊 x

[Greatful]

@Jadenatalie

From what I read that can be very common in W/D.  Waves and windows come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  Having most breaks on most evenings is welcome anytime😊

It gets you ready for the morning blues and anxiety.  

Let's see all the different shapes and sizes people have.

 

[siderale]

Hi jadenatalie! I hope the relief lasts longer and longer for you. Ever since the beginning of WD I have noticed that I also get relief in the evenings, past 8PM (which is frustrating of course: one wants to feel better though the day!). And I believe I have read similar patterns here on SA. I'd be curious to know why it gets better in the evening in some people, but I believe it is indeed a thing that shows your "old self" is still there. I dont want to give you "false hopes" but in my case, when I get these short evenings of relief - when they get more frequent it usually means my "wave" is coming to an end. I hope you can take a breather soon. Sending love!

[Jadenatalie]

22 hours ago, siderale said:

Hi jadenatalie! I hope the relief lasts longer and longer for you. Ever since the beginning of WD I have noticed that I also get relief in the evenings, past 8PM (which is frustrating of course: one wants to feel better though the day!). And I believe I have read similar patterns here on SA. I'd be curious to know why it gets better in the evening in some people, but I believe it is indeed a thing that shows your "old self" is still there. I dont want to give you "false hopes" but in my case, when I get these short evenings of relief - when they get more frequent it usually means my "wave" is coming to an end. I hope you can take a breather soon. Sending love!

Hi @siderale yes its so frustrating because i would definitely love the relief throughout the day instead!! 

 

Thank you. I hope your trip is going well?!  xx

[Jadenatalie]

Week 21: So, this past week i was suffering with really intense muscle pain, this has for the most part subsided now, thankfully. It was that bad, i could barely get out of bed, and just sat and cried in pain most days! I have now been left with weak muscles in my arms and legs, im not sure if this is a normal withdrawal symptom? They just feel very weak and generally very fatigued, like the muscles become tired very easily. I also notice i get cramp alot easier sometimes too. The good news, i had a half day last week of feeling really good, A FULL HALF DAY! Then yesterday i had a full day of feeling pretty good! got loads of jobs done that needed doing, didnt cry at all, (one of my main withdrawals from day one has been crying all the effing time!), and just felt generally more positive about life and about withdrawal etc, it wasnt perfect, BUT it was amazing in comparison to my other days recently!! 

 

I feel quite chirpy today too so i'm hoping this continues for a little while. Although, the muscle weakness is concerning me, my GP isnt concerned though and my bloods a couple of months back were normal, he said he wouldnt imagine any changes in a couple of months months in my blood levels as they were all very healthy, none were borderline etc. I have a follow up appt with him in 2 weeks if the muscle issues continue. 

 

I also have my 2nd covid vaccine on Monday morning, which i'll be glad to get out of the way  Then Monday i have a week off work and i'm going away with my partner and son to our family caravan, so i'm looking forward to that. 

 

I'm very nearly at the 5 month mark and i cannot believe it, this last month has flown and it feels like only yesterday i typed that i was at 4 months on my thread here! Crazy! 

 

x

[Greatful]

@Jadenatalie 

4 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

The good news, i had a half day last week of feeling really good, A FULL HALF DAY! Then yesterday i had a full day of feeling pretty good!

 

Wow that is great.  Yes it is amazing to feel almost human.  What a relief to be reassured that yea I  an healing☺️

 

4 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

 I have now been left with weak muscles in my arms and legs, im not sure if this is a normal withdrawal symptom? They just feel very weak and generally very fatigued, like the muscles become tired very easily

I would really equate this to W/D  My arm and leg muscles feel weak a lot, sometimes they feel so heavy and fatigued. My arms are usually bothered more then my legs.  Try not to worry.  Your doctor is a where of it and will keep eye on it

 

4 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

Then Monday i have a week off work and i'm going away with my partner and son to our family caravan, so i'm looking forward to that. 

 

It is great that you are feeling that good to go on a trip!  Yeah

You really deserve it!  You should be proud of yourself for enduring the wonder joys of W/D and coming out on the other side🌻

Have a great vacation  with your family 

[Jadenatalie]

33 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Jadenatalie 

 

Wow that is great.  Yes it is amazing to feel almost human.  What a relief to be reassured that yea I  an healing☺️

 

I would really equate this to W/D  My arm and leg muscles feel weak a lot, sometimes they feel so heavy and fatigued. My arms are usually bothered more then my legs.  Try not to worry.  Your doctor is a where of it and will keep eye on it

 

It is great that you are feeling that good to go on a trip!  Yeah

You really deserve it!  You should be proud of yourself for enduring the wonder joys of W/D and coming out on the other side🌻

Have a great vacation  with your family 

Hi @Greatful I know it wasnt perfect and there was still anxiety and muscle weakness lingering but i felt SO much better than the previous days/weeks! I havent felt as good today, but i also havent been rock bottom either. its mainly been slight anxiety and muscle weakness again. I sometimes wonder whether the muscle weakness is from anxiety too. 

 

Yes my doctor is aware so thats fine, he doesnt believe in withdrawal so i dont bother mentioning it. but he said the muscle issues could be stress. 

 

Well because its just my family caravan, it feels comfortable to me. It'll be a week of walking around the greenery and hopefully relaxing   thank you so much, i'm proud of myself for getting this far. i know theres probably still a way to go yet, but i'm glad i've kept going. 

 

Thank you again for your post, you're such a credit to this site and helping others. ❤️

[Neon]

I am really happy for you, that is definitely a great sign 🙂 

And btw I had intense muscle pain and weakness too, always thought I got the flu and then it turned out I hadnt, so I wouldnt worry, of course it is tiring but it will pass, all the best

[AndyPants]

Been reading through your thread and I also have had a lot of nausea and stomach stuff going on (the worst is when it is combined with insomnia - hate laying in bed trying to sleep and also feeling sick to my stomach!). I've lost 15 ish pounds this year and while generally speaking I have wanted to lose weight, losing it because I feel sick all the time was not how I wanted to do it.

 

It sounds like you are seeing some progress which is great, hope you have a good trip!

[Jadenatalie]

5 MONTHS OFF SSRIs. ❤️

 

Another big milestone today. I am away with my partner and son at our family caravan in the Yorkshire dales this week too. I had my 2nd covid vaccine yesterday and didn't sleep much last night, had a fever and aching, generally felt horrible all night and this morning. But, I have had a mostly good day, cherishing this good time I'm having at the moment. Everyday is so different. 

 

X

[UkDave]

Hi @Jadenatalie I have just come across your journey and I'd just like to say how amazing it is to hear you pulling through, I love the updates and i'm glad they're more and more positive with light at the end of the tunnel for you.

 

Give yourself credit for battling through all of the emotional and physical issues you've endured, Smashing through life while your CNS is giving you hell. 

 

You want to give yourself a massive pat on the back Lass 😎

 

I have just signed up with the NHS for CBT Therapy, Like yourself its not for a few months I have found a guy on youtube and have taken relief in watching a few of his videos starting to understand how anxiety works within your body and learn how to control it. Anxiety & OCD Treatment Course have a look and see if could help in anyway with your anxiety!

 

Enjoy your break in the Yorkshire Dales 😁

[siderale]

Enjoy your trip Jadenatalie! Your milestone reminds me that mine is soon as well. Hope you can enjoy every minute of your travel and that relief lasts the longest it can ❤️ you've come so far!!

[Jadenatalie]

19 hours ago, UkDave said:

Hi @Jadenatalie I have just come across your journey and I'd just like to say how amazing it is to hear you pulling through, I love the updates and i'm glad they're more and more positive with light at the end of the tunnel for you.

 

Give yourself credit for battling through all of the emotional and physical issues you've endured, Smashing through life while your CNS is giving you hell. 

 

You want to give yourself a massive pat on the back Lass 😎

 

I have just signed up with the NHS for CBT Therapy, Like yourself its not for a few months I have found a guy on youtube and have taken relief in watching a few of his videos starting to understand how anxiety works within your body and learn how to control it. Anxiety & OCD Treatment Course have a look and see if could help in anyway with your anxiety!

 

Enjoy your break in the Yorkshire Dales 😁

Hi @UkDave thanks for your comment 😊 thanks so much. Its been the hardest thing I've ever done by far in my life, the worst 5 months ever. I've barely had any windows and if I have they've been very short. But I keep pushing and thinking about the future me. 

 

Yeah well it might differ from place to place in the UK. But they referred me originally to online cbt with silvercloud, which was rubbish and they decided I needed intensive cbt therapy with a 1-2-1 counseller weekly, the waiting list for this is approx 1 year where I am, so I'm not due to get my therapy until January time, maybe longer the way the NHS is going at the moment! 

 

Thanks for the link I'll have a look. I currently follow the 'anxious truth' method and feel it's helping alot with my anxiety and the way I react to anxiety and perceive it. Hes called drew, he does podcasts, has 2 books and a Facebook group where he's very interactive with it. 

 

Hope youre okay too, 😊👍 x

 

[Jadenatalie]

21 minutes ago, siderale said:

Enjoy your trip Jadenatalie! Your milestone reminds me that mine is soon as well. Hope you can enjoy every minute of your travel and that relief lasts the longest it can ❤️ you've come so far!!

Thanks so much @siderale hope your trip is going as well as it can! Happy 5 months to us, 😊👍❤️ xx

[Jadenatalie]

Week 22: I hit the 5 month mark yesterday. 😊👍 Had my 2nd covid vaccine Monday which was massively anxiety triggering for me but I did it! Then came away with my family for the week, going out walking daily in the Dales it's lovely. I had a good day yesterday feeling quite positive and well all day which was a massive relief. Ive had a couple of windows the past few weeks which is a relief because I've had pretty much 5 months of waves. So even small windows are welcomed right now and I hope they continue. 😊👍 

 

I'm still having muscle issues, getting cramp easily, muscle ache easily, muscles feeling generally weak and weary but I'm putting it down to the withdrawal and plodding on. 😊 

 

Only a short update today because I'm away on holiday and I'm using my phone so don't feel as easily able to do a 'proper' update. 

 

X

[Greatful]

@Jadenatalie  How are you doing?  Home from the vacation?

[Jadenatalie]

8 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Jadenatalie  How are you doing?  Home from the vacation?

Hey @Greatful my physical symptoms seemed to have lessened slightly over the past week or so, BUT, the anxiety and panic has escalated over the past few days.  i'm hoping this settles down soon, i'm going about my life as normal as i can, going to work etc but its not nice  still also feel very tearful and sad which is something i've had since the start of withdrawal. 

 

How are you?

 

x

[MedicationInjuryNZ]

Just read thru your journey and feel that maybe e numbers may have caused the gastric issues and anxiety. Caffeine too. Everyone here warns of problematic supplement use, but I have yet to see any dialogue around e numbers and common things like caffeine and alcohol.

I have had only mild SSRI withdrawal compared to you and even the normally very safe e320 citric acid began to upset my stomach.

I couldnt eat anything canned or with msg, and basically couldn't eat out. Everything had to be peeled and chopped and no preserved meats or sausages. Factory farmed meats like chicken and pork or even leftovers were problematic due to histamine, couldn't eat minced or ground meats unless super fresh.

 

All that tummy trouble you had could have been avoided me thinks....

 

 

 

[Greatful]

@Jadenatalie I am doing okay up and down.  I have that awful panic too and the anxiety. I guess we will have to welcome it as our friend.  It looks like it might be around for awhile.

I have been working on staying in the moment.  I am okay at this time and I have nothing to fear.  The fear is a left over product from my past.  This seems to work some of the time at least.  Practice, practice, practice.  It takes awhile to retrain our brain.  Meditate, Meditate, Meditate.

11 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

i'm going about my life as normal as i can, going to work etc but its not nice

You are doing great. You are a super star♥️

 

Me I am applying for FMLA.  Here in the US there is a law that you can apply for Family Medical Leave Act. You can use up to 12 weeks a year.  I am lucky I have accrued a lot of sick time from my work.  This would be my 20th year there.  My therapist is doing the paper work.  I really hope I get it.    

[Jadenatalie]

12 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Jadenatalie I am doing okay up and down.  I have that awful panic too and the anxiety. I guess we will have to welcome it as our friend.  It looks like it might be around for awhile.

I have been working on staying in the moment.  I am okay at this time and I have nothing to fear.  The fear is a left over product from my past.  This seems to work some of the time at least.  Practice, practice, practice.  It takes awhile to retrain our brain.  Meditate, Meditate, Meditate.

You are doing great. You are a super star♥️

 

Me I am applying for FMLA.  Here in the US there is a law that you can apply for Family Medical Leave Act. You can use up to 12 weeks a year.  I am lucky I have accrued a lot of sick time from my work.  This would be my 20th year there.  My therapist is doing the paper work.  I really hope I get it.    

Hi @Greatful Yes it seems that way  i find it very hard to deal with, especially going to work full time still. I am taking propranolol as and when i need it to ease the symptoms slightly. I'm only on a 10mg dose too which is tiny. Sometimes i find that they help somewhat and sometimes they dont help at all. 

 

Yes i'm meditating daily and following 'the anxious truth' method by Drew Linsalata which is all about acceptance and surrendering to the anxiety and panic and not fearing it etc. Essentially re-training the brain. 

 

Fingers crossed for you, i hope it all goes through smoothly  💝 You're doing fantastic and you're so great giving people advice and support on here. I hope i'm able to do that once i'm feeling more stable. xx

[Jadenatalie]

Week 23: So on Friday the anxiety really ramped up and panic. This has continued to increase over the last few days. I have had odd bits of anxiety and panic since stopping the meds but this is the worst its been so far. I have read that the month 5/6/7 seem to be quite rough for people with anxiety and panic symptoms so I'm hoping it passes soon.  I'm really struggling to cope with this to be honest, I'm still working full time in the office too which is difficult when I'm panicking all day. I have been taking propranolol (10mg small dose) as and when I need to, to try and alleviate some of the symptoms and make getting through work easier. I cant afford to take any sick time or lose my job so i need to keep pushing forward the best i can. 

 

The other physical symptoms i've had have gone mostly, apart from the ones that come from sitting with panic all day, like nausea, numb limbs, tingling, unable to concentrate etc. I really hope this settles soon, has anyone else been through similar? I keep reading the success stories for inspiration and encouragement. 

 

I also start fearing that this is my 'natural' anxiety state now. But, i've never had anxiety this badly and this constant before. I think it's withdrawal, or i hope it is. 

 

Thanks for reading. x

[siderale]

Hi dear Jadenatalie, I'm sorry to see things are really tough for you. You've already walked quite a long way and still manage to keep your active lifestyle, I know you'd rather have a break from the symptoms but I can for sure state that you are very strong for pushing through.

 

I'm crossing fingers you get relief soon. Waves are very unpredictable, and maybe this nasty bout of symptoms will ease off sooner than expected. Does the propanolol help you? I hope it does, and that you don't feel too guilty about all of this.

 

The anxiety ramps up with me lately too, and it also seems that the other unusual symptoms lessened: I had the same thought as you - "maybe this is my natural state of anxiety", but I am firmly convinced that it is, for both of us, still withdrawal.

Anxiety often comes by with the symptoms you described, much like you I am more than familiar with the nausea and concentration difficulty. I am sure this will wear off. Before withdrawal, we weren't panicked 24/7: this will resolve. Let's hope soon!

 

For me it is encouraging to reminisce that a lot of my symptoms are gone (or come and go). This shows that everything is unpredictable, but also that it is temporary, even if it feels excruciatingly long. Best of luck, take care of you as much as you can and remember that yes - better days are ahead. You've come a long way from the beginning ❤️

[Jadenatalie]

2 minutes ago, siderale said:

Hi dear Jadenatalie, I'm sorry to see things are really tough for you. You've already walked quite a long way and still manage to keep your active lifestyle, I know you'd rather have a break from the symptoms but I can for sure state that you are very strong for pushing through.

 

I'm crossing fingers you get relief soon. Waves are very unpredictable, and maybe this nasty bout of symptoms will ease off sooner than expected. Does the propanolol help you? I hope it does, and that you don't feel too guilty about all of this.

 

The anxiety ramps up with me lately too, and it also seems that the other unusual symptoms lessened: I had the same thought as you - "maybe this is my natural state of anxiety", but I am firmly convinced that it is, for both of us, still withdrawal.

Anxiety often comes by with the symptoms you described, much like you I am more than familiar with the nausea and concentration difficulty. I am sure this will wear off. Before withdrawal, we weren't panicked 24/7: this will resolve. Let's hope soon!

 

For me it is encouraging to reminisce that a lot of my symptoms are gone (or come and go). This shows that everything is unpredictable, but also that it is temporary, even if it feels excruciatingly long. Best of luck, take care of you as much as you can and remember that yes - better days are ahead. You've come a long way from the beginning ❤️

Hey @siderale I am convinced I'm healing even though i feel rubbish most of time time because my symptoms are constantly changing and coming and going. I have actually had a good few days over the past few weeks so I'm hoping that's a good thing. But yes the anxiety is beating me down at the moment, hoping it goes shortly.  I don't mind taking the propranolol because they're short acting and have no addictive properties, but id rather not take them in the long run. 

 

I saw your update, glad you've had a good time away and you've eaten lots, that's amazing!  I hope you upload some photos if possible, it would be great to see them! You're doing great.  xx

[Jadenatalie]

On 8/17/2021 at 1:46 PM, MedicationInjuryNZ said:

Just read thru your journey and feel that maybe e numbers may have caused the gastric issues and anxiety. Caffeine too. Everyone here warns of problematic supplement use, but I have yet to see any dialogue around e numbers and common things like caffeine and alcohol.

I have had only mild SSRI withdrawal compared to you and even the normally very safe e320 citric acid began to upset my stomach.

I couldnt eat anything canned or with msg, and basically couldn't eat out. Everything had to be peeled and chopped and no preserved meats or sausages. Factory farmed meats like chicken and pork or even leftovers were problematic due to histamine, couldn't eat minced or ground meats unless super fresh.

 

All that tummy trouble you had could have been avoided me thinks....

 

 

 

Hello, @MedicationInjuryNZI was on the meds 5 years and I see you were only on them for a short period so there's a huge difference between our med history. Probably why you're having a weak withdrawal. I have a very clean diet, I have no caffeine or alcohol at all. I don't think it could have been avoided unfortunately, I think it was part of my withdrawal process and it seems a very common issue. 

[Jadenatalie]

Week 24: Wow, these weeks are flying by now. Can't believe i'm only a couple of weeks away from being off SSRI's for 6 months. So, this week has been abit of a mixed bag. At the weekend it was my mums 50th birthday, so we had a party for that and went out for a meal etc. It was quite stressful the night before the party as i was in charge of decorations, cake etc. I've had a weekend of very little sleep. But, the next day at the party, i managed fine, i was laughing, smiling, didnt need any beta blockers, the next day for the big family meal out i was more nervous for, i get panicky in those kinda situations since stopping the meds, but i stayed at the meal for the full time, even when the fire alarm locked us in our room we were eating in! I almost freaked out, but didnt. 

 

My main symptoms at the moment are anxiety/panic still (this varies from day to day) brain fog, VERY tearful (i have been tearful since the start and it hasnt gone yet!) and my arms and legs feeling weird, just weak, crampy, tingly etc. Just like my limbs dont work properly alot of the time! 

 

With regards to windows, i have noticed this past month i have been having more and more odd good days or good afternoons etc. Over the past month, i've had approx 7 days/afternoons of good times, where i've felt normal or almost normal. Some of these are only a few hours long, some a full day kinda thing. For example, yesterday, i had brain fog and anxiety all morning at work, went and had my dinner and felt much better in the afternoon and then when i got home from work i felt fully normal again pretty much, abit of anxiety here and there but nothing to moan about in comparison! I was singing, dancing around my kitchen, changed the bedding, did some washing, got a nice long bath, it was lovely. I HOPE this is a good sign of more windows to come, because since i started my withdrawal process i've had very little windows. 

 

Anyway, we keep plodding on. I've got the dentist tomorrow which is my BIGGEST anxiety fear, so wish me luck! 🍀 x

[Greatful]

@Jadenatalie  You sound so much better then you did a few months ago....YEAH

You are healing, slowly but you are healing.❤️

 

Thanks for the update❤️

[Jadenatalie]

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Jadenatalie  You sound so much better then you did a few months ago....YEAH

You are healing, slowly but you are healing.❤️

 

Thanks for the update❤️

Hi @Greatful yeah I'm definitely starting to see more good times even if they are short lived, they're creeping through! I didn't expect to heal fast after 5 years on the meds to be honest but I'm hoping the next few months will show more improvements. ⭐ X

 

[Phoenixmama]

@Jadenatalie wow i was just reading through your posts and im excited and also encouraged to push through 💪

[siderale]

11 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

VERY tearful (i have been tearful since the start and it hasnt gone yet!)

I'm thinking it might be your "full spectrum" of emotions that came back and that it will probably stabilise with time! I know how exhausting it is to cry often so I hope it eases off a bit.

 

11 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

I HOPE this is a good sign of more windows to come, because since i started my withdrawal process i've had very little windows. 

I would say yes, reading your update it is very encouraging especially after that very long and difficult wave you've been having. These fluctuations show that the awful mood is not here to stay forever.

 

Overall I am so happy to read that you're finally strating to have some relief to breathe a bit. I hope your body feels better soon as well, when symptoms last, even if they're not debilitating, it's very tiring/you start to believe it's here to stay. Sending thoughts! Thank you for sharing your updates, have a wonderful week!

[Jadenatalie]

Week 25: So, this week has had many ups and downs. I had my dentist appt that i was dreading, turns out i need 3 fillings and a scale polish. So i have to go next week for those doing. I spent the next day or so after my dentist consultation freaking out about having to go back. I seem to have settled abit more now until next week when my appt nears!! Anyway, the past week symptoms have been still the muscle issues, muscles feeling weak, achy, tingling, vibrating, tense etc. I had some more bloods done and they were normal. But i dont see many people on here talking of weak muscles etc so it is worrying me. I've also had anxiety/panic symptoms still, mostly in the mornings, it seems to settle more after dinner. I am also still very tearful over small things. I do have some abnormal bleeding at the moment between my periods which is being investigated but i feel it may be from my covid vaccine, as i bled for 3 weeks after my first covid vaccine too, which is really unusual for me as its never happened before. So that is playing on my mind, i do have lower back pain at the moment aswell, which i know will be withdrawal related but its hard not to think the worst! 

 

On the plus side, over the past week and the past few weeks actually i have been having more windows. mostly evenings/afternoons, but some have been almost full days of feeling relatively good with some anxiety thrown in here and there. At the weekend i went to our family caravan with my parents, partner, son, and uncle and auntie. Had a really good day on Sunday, went walking, went walking in the river and stream, laughed, felt peace at some points. Felt just alot more positive. Over the month of August, i have had approx 11 good afternoons/evenings/days. which is amazing in comparison to the month before. I wouldnt say i've had a full day of feeling 'normal' yet though. 

 

Today i'm feeling quite tired, anxious, muscles weird, back aching etc. I am due on my period anytime and feel that this flares all my symptoms up. Anyway, kinda good news, kinda bad news. It'll be 6 months next friday since i stopped the meds. This past month has really flown.

 

x