Ventus: intro

[Ventus]

Hey all,

I came across this site when my stopping of celexia didn't get me what I wanted with the week time frame my doctor told me.

My history.  I was put on celexa sometime after college, I do not remember the exact date, so I have been on it for 12+ years. I have finally started to desire companionship but found I could not emotionally connect with anyone. And recently found I can not perform well in bed most of the time. So I stopped taking the celexia around 4/08/2021. Unfortunately I haven't really gotten what I wanted yet. I still can rarely perform in bed and am rather overwhelmed with emotions, mostly anger and sadness.  

 

 What I want from being here is to learn. Can I expect to further improve or is this it? Am I being impatient and need to wait longer to see how I get without the antidepressants?

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  

 

First of all, can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise list (no symptoms), only specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

Also, as we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

When we recover, there are times of feeling OK mixed in with times of feeling bad.  This is called windows and waves.

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

 

Magnesium 

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

Are you having any other symptoms besides post SSRI sexual dysfunction, anger, and sadness?  By the way, these are typical antidepressant withdrawal symptoms. 

Here is some information about withdrawal symptoms: 

 

Neuro Emotions

 

Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction or PSSD

 

Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptoms

 

On 4/30/2021 at 11:30 AM, Ventus said:

What I want from being here is to learn. Can I expect to further improve or is this it? Am I being impatient and need to wait longer to see how I get without the antidepressants?

Yes, I believe you will see improvement from this.  From the prior links, you can see that recovery from this drugs takes a lot of time due to the complexity of our nervous system.  I don't suggest you go on another AD.  The more we go on and off these drugs, the more likely it is we will have even bigger problems that take an even longer time to resolve. 

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

[Ventus]

The only other med I am taking is truvada for about 4 years now.  And my emotions have been kinda wild. Weird euporiaic feelings and obsessive need to fix my situation, though this one is normal for me. I have been thinking alot about the past and regretting my choices.  It's painful. My chest hurts like I have been running for a while and my head is running through powerful emotions. It's very hard to describe the exact feeling. But I usually do alot better at tempering my emotions around friends then I am doing right now. Everything kinda spills out.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Ventus

 

How's your sleep? What is the daily pattern of these other symptoms? When did they appear?

 

Please review adverse effects of Truvada on drugs.com to distinguish them from your current symptoms.

 

 

[Ventus]

My sleep has been fine actually. As for the symptoms. At first when I stopped it was just a weird lightheaded feeling that was constant for about a week. That went away then I got others.  The feeling my heart beat is pretty constant.  The random crying is random unless I have a sad thought then it starts . And the wild emotions happen every day a different times, like I am rehashing my past and feeling so strongly about it. But the emotions themselves are hard to control I have gone overboard,  I needed family to reel me in from freaking out that I couldn't get a doctor's appointment right away. It'd hard to describe exactly but it's like whatever I am feeling amplifies it's within me and drains my energy. I can't temper them.

[Ventus]

I have a question about what you guys have seen in your waves and windows patterns. I have read some more of the intros and some people seem to be having far worse withdrawal, is it possible such symptoms will eventually hit me? Also I am worries I may lose control over my emotions again. Right now I am not feeling good or stable but I am feeling much better then a few weeks ago.  Expecally since I am going through a stressful time. Also I have an observation. My anxiety problems are exactly the same as it was when I was taking citalopram. Looks like those meds didn't help me in the least and only hurt me.

[getofflex]

On 5/19/2021 at 3:26 PM, Ventus said:

Right now I am not feeling good or stable but I am feeling much better then a few weeks ago.

I'm very glad to hear this.  Please try not to worry about what may happen in the future, as this could activate your nervous system and trigger anxiety and sleeplessness.  Here is a link about dealing with intense emotions during AD recovery.  

 

Neuro Emotions

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes
 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

[Ventus]

I have a question about some symptoms I have been having. My heart is racing alot again .I have this weird feeling throughout my body like a low grade pain, it's hard to describe since it's different in different points. My legs are tingling and feel hot most of the time but sometimes cold . Most of the rest of my body has a smaller version of the same sensation. Pain killers don't help. Has anyone found anything to help with something similar?

[getofflex]

This topic goes into lots of the various symptoms, and ways to reduce them or cope with them: 

 

Important Topics About Symptoms

[Ventus]

Thanks, I have another question.  Reinstatement of the celexa so I could tap. At this point  2 months after stopping would it help? 

[getofflex]

First, let me ask you a couple of questions:  

 

1) Have you noticed any improvement in your withdrawal symptoms at all since you stopped the citalopram back in April?  

 

2) When you were on the citalopram, how did it affect you aside from being unable to emotionally connect, and the lack of ability to perform sexually?  

 

Here is information about reinstatement.  Please read this carefully.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

 

 

Edited June 7, 2021 by getofflex

[Ventus]

1) the wild emotions I experienced at first are gone. I feel emotionally basically the same as when I was on citalopram except tears come when I am sad now.

 

The weird feeling throughout my body comes and goes in intensity. It's low now but never enough to stop me from doing things even at its worst. 

 

The burning tingling feet are pretty constant though its sometimes becoming cold feet that don't tingle .

The feeling of fast heart beating comes and goes in intensity.  It gets alot more manageable for a while after a heavy workout 

 

My reduced appetite is still reduced but I am eating enough

 

  Over all right now I feel ok enough.  I guess I am just scared that worse stuff might be coming as I am only in month 2 , reading what other people go through on this site is scary. 

 

2) those were the only things it ever did.

It never did stop my anxiety attacks.

I never noticed a marked change in my behavior, unfortunately I was in a very bad place and in the closet so I didn't really interact with people until recently. That's when I found out about the sexual problems and the connection problems. I honestly don't even know what the real me would act or feel like.

[getofflex]

I would not suggest you reinstate at this point.  I sounds like you've had some good improvement since you quit the citalopram.  Reinstatement is risky.  We usually only suggest it in desperate cases, and you say you are doing alright.  Since it has been 2 months since you were on the drug, there is a chance that it could make things worse and set you back.  Your nervous system has probably already made some adjustments, and a reinstatement could confuse your system, and throw it off balance, and worsen your withdrawal.  Stability is what we want right now.   

 

I suggest you stop reading what other people on this site experience, since it increases your fear.  Chances are you will not experience anything worse than what you have already been through, as long as you take good care of yourself, and avoid other psychotropic drugs and supplements.  

[Ventus]

Thanks for the advice. I will stay the course. And try not to do things to scare myself.

[Ventus]

Also sorry for so many questions in a row but I have another.  I stopped the ssri because primary of the sexual dysfunction and that I want to well want and connect with people. I know it's only been a few months and I am being impatient  but have you guys seen people with similar issues improve?

[Ventus]

An update for me. I became overwhelmed with anxiety and could not function so I went to a new psychiatrist and got buspirone to help me with it, just starting so I dunno even if it will but I didn't  want a benzo . Is that a kind of drug I would need to taper to avoid withdrawal? I need something  right now since the anxiety and hopeless almost pushed me over the edge.

[getofflex]

On 6/7/2021 at 7:15 AM, Ventus said:

have you guys seen people with similar issues improve

Yes, definitely.  Please read some of the success stories.  Here is one related to PSSD: 

 

Banyan PSSD Success Challenges

 

4 hours ago, Ventus said:

I became overwhelmed with anxiety and could not function so I went to a new psychiatrist and got buspirone to help me with it

Yes, this is a drug that is psychoactive, and it will require tapering, and could cause another withdrawal to go through.  Not only that, each time we start a new psych med, we run the risk of further sensitizing our nervous system.  What non drug coping techniques have you tried for your anxiety?  Here is a brief thread on other members' experiences with this drug.  

 

Buspirone

 

 

[Ventus]

That guys  story doesn't help my anxiety but thanks! I havent found anything to help I can do nothing but obsess over how all my plans are ruined and I will be single alone and miserable forever.  Working out helps when I do it. So does hanging with friends. But ultimately my thoughts are consumed by this.  I agree a none drug would be best but honestly even on citalopram I could never control my anxiety and such a dull future hurts. I will try though. I just cant let it get to the point it did again.

[Ventus]

This story though fills me with hope. I just need to be able to get through all this without losing myself to the dark thoughts

 

[Ventus]

You guys were right about buspirone.  All it did was give me insomnia so I stopped it. My withdrawal symptoms have changed up in the last few weeks. Getting massive anxiety and hopeless feelings.  I have no appetite anymore, my energy is low,  and my heart rate is pretty high 89 Beats per minute last time I checked. The tingling on my feet is mostly gone though. 

[Ventus]

So the pain from my  heart is getting worse I am going to go see a doctor. 

[Ventus]

I have a question for you all? It is normal for the withdrawal symptoms to be so varied? I am afraid me trying the buspirone coincided directly with  my new symptoms so hopefully they don't last now that I have stopped. But they just keep changing. I could manage at first but the super high heart rate and insomnia I dunno if I can. I took sleep aids and was able to sleep well last night. But when will I stop getting new symptoms?

[getofflex]

 

4 hours ago, Ventus said:

I am afraid me trying the buspirone coincided directly with  my new symptoms so hopefully they don't last now that I have stopped

 

Many of us have sensitized nervous systems, and adding new drugs can cause more symptoms and make us feel worse.  I hope they don't last either.  But in some folks, they do last a while.  So I would suggest you not add any more psych drugs to the mix.  We in SA do not suggest to add more psych meds (such as buspirone) to help treat withdrawal.  All that basically does is keep one on the drug merry go round, because that is another drug that destabilizes the nervous system, and will have to then be slowly tapered off.  This thread explains it well: 

 

Considerations About Stability Stop Jumping Around

 

Yes, the symptoms can change around and be varied.  This video gives a very good reason why this is so:  

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

4 hours ago, Ventus said:

I took sleep aids

What specific sleep aids did you take?  

 

4 hours ago, Ventus said:

when will I stop getting new symptoms?

I don't know. If it were me, I would refrain from adding more psych meds.  Often this caused the withdrawal to worsen, and causes more problems than it fixes.  Here is a link that goes into how long withdrawal takes.  

 

How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take

 

Please hang in there, and don't give up. The 2 biggest requirements for healing are time and patience.  You will get better in time, as long as you take good care of yourself. 

[Ventus]

Thanks! Yeah I definitely learned my lesson the hard way. I took 9mg of melatonin and something called valerian root. I am gonna keep that up for a while. Those 4 days without sleep were hell. 

[getofflex]

I'm glad you are taking natural sleep aids.  I didn't know if you were using benzos or z drugs, which are highly addictive.  

 

I will say that 9 mg melatonin is a hefty dose.  Here is a thread about melatonin:  

 

Melatonin

[Ventus]

So the melatonin didn't work last night. I am gonna try some of the other combos with melatonin that I havw read on here

[Ventus]

Nothing on this site works. I can't sleep at all. I reinstated at 5mg of citalopram today. I am in so much pain

[Ventus]

So let me try to write this calmer I have barely sleep 2 days out of the last 7, my heart is pounding and it hurts so much. I can't go on like this. I am gonna start taking the citalopram again and hopefully stabilize,  then when I feel well taper off.

[getofflex]

VEntus, if you choose to reinstate the citalopram, can I suggest you reinstate at a lower dose?  Usually a very low dose is all it takes to reduce withdrawal symptoms.  Try reinstating at 1 mg.  Here is the link about reinstatement: 

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Reinstatement

[Ventus]

Sure I will try. I think I am gonna try and stabilize and not try to come off them for some time. 

[Ventus]

That's gonna be tough though for my 10mg pills . I will buy what's needed

[Ventus]

Question how long should I wait to see if my withdrawal symptoms lesson? I have been on the 10mg of citalopram for 2 days and don't feel anything bad so I don't think I will have an adverse reaction.  but nothing has changed yet.  A week? A month?

[Rhiannon]

I would be expecting something more along the lines of months than weeks. Probably some improvement within three or four months but everyone is different and it's impossible to say for sure.

[Ventus]

Lovely. I wish I had never cold turkeyed the meds. 

[Hanna72]

Hi @Ventus

3 minutes ago, Ventus said:

I wish I had never cold turkeyed the meds. 

Don’t be hard on yourself. We can only learn and move forward. I too had to reinstate and felt awful about it. It took me a few weeks to get stable and you will get there. 
Just remember when you are ready to taper, do it slowly, that’s how we will reach the finish line. 
In the meantime, stay positive and know that your time will come.

Hang in there.

 

[Ventus]

@Hanna72 thanks for the encouragement! This experience has scared me for sure. I was doing just fine then sudden it all just went downhill.