Dee7: Mirtazapine & Sertraline 2019 Story

[Altostrata]

As you know, Dee, for stabilization, we would rather you stay at a particular dosage for several months instead of continually changing drugs and dosage as you've been doing since December 2018.

 

I'm getting worn out by following your drug changes, Dee. Perhaps one of the other staff would like to deal with this.

[manymoretodays]

On 1/6/2022 at 1:53 PM, Dee7 said:

Now I'm not sure which way to head. If I slowly come down/off, it will feel like a failed reinstatement, so I still feel tempted to just up my dose to something like 7.5mg just to see what happens. But I'm so far out now maybe it will never work. I am struggling to get out of bed at all, feel increasingly 'dead' within, plus none of the initial symptoms I got from coming off Mirtazapine (numb teeth, head, etc) have been improved by this so far. Is there an argument for 'pushing through' to a higher level before giving up on this?

 

Hi there Dee7,

Oh boy....and then you did that briefly......that upping the dose it sounds like.

I mean this isn't as good as the advice Santino can further give around your mirtazapine specifically.

But I would have said don't do it.  DON'T.

And this just based on my own unlearning curve of the absurdity of how these drugs are marketed, as "antidepressants" when all they are is anti- normal reactions to life.

I mean of course you are dealing with some WD, and some drug effects, but if you ask me, and you are willing to deal just a bit longer with just HOLDING tight at your previous dose, and then at some point resuming your taper.......I'm just here to tell you.......it's worth it.

 

Can you push past what sounds like anhedonia?

Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia

 

I would look through that link with an eye for how others deal with it without drugs.  It's a WD symptom.  It won't last forever. 

Just do simple little moves each day.  I mean day one.......get out of bed, get to the couch.  Day 2, maybe do a little off the couch.  Day 3.......actually go outside somewhere.  Your mastery of some simple doing will build you up a bit more, to do more, and use more non-drug coping.

 

I know how it feels, but can't put myself back there completely.  All I can say is just stay put.  HOLD on your one dose.

 

So, you'll go back to 3.5 mg mirtazapine, or is it 3.75 mg ?  Your previous dose.  And then just stay there.

 

A HOLD means just sitting tight with the same dose.  For as long as it takes.  This might be a good couple of months.   If you change the dose every darn week, you'll never know exactly what is what.  You get an idea of what is what, based on observing your symptoms over time, while on one dose.

You are wanting to taper off someday then? Or one day to go drug free? 

You have to hone in on patience I think.  I mean I had to learn to live with some WD, while getting a feel for how I did with tapers.  Usually the intensity of any one symptom would lessen, by 2 weeks or so, after a change.  And then ultimately I lost all of my WD symptoms too.  Some time after I became drug free.

 

I don't know if that will resonate with you, and I'll try to look at a bit more of your Introduction too.

 

But I do think you do need to stop jumping around so much with doses.  For certain.

 

What symptoms did you have before you went back on the mirtazapine?

Did you stop it and then restart it again between December and January?

 

Catch me up a bit here.  Or update please, and thank you.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited January 16, 2022 by manymoretodays
more, always more.....

[Dee7]

Thank you for your reply and thoughts.

 

Important, I think, to clarify that I have not made continual drug changes since Dec 2018.

 

Dec 2018 to Nov 2019 was the initial period I was on/prescribed two drugs back to back - Mirtazapine and Sertraline - with dose changes as advised from my GP which I went along with, knowing absolutely nothing of the potential risks (or of this website). They were by far and away the most quick and brutal changes made and why I am here now. 

 

I then waited a full two years with no further drugs in order to heal with time (my preference by far) and educate myself about my situation, desperately keen not to take anymore of these drugs.

 

On Nov 3rd last year, with all symptoms unrelenting, I decided to try a low-dose reinstatement of the initial drug Mirtazapine. I have not missed a dose since, however the amount has fluctuated as I found it difficult without a reaction, timeline or upper limit to know exactly where I was heading. 

 

I understand now that it may take months to feel the benefit of a minor reinstatement and that it is not meant to be a brief experiment conducted over a few weeks, which I think is what I envisaged. 

 

The other complication is I have PSSD, caused by the second drug, Sertraline. This and my general emotional anesthesia are the most difficult symptoms for me to manage and I'm aware I've been advised that re-instating Mirtazapine probably won't help either of these.

 

However it was coming off the Mirtazapine following my GPs guidance that first gave me my initial batch of symptoms (numb head, teeth, flat, depressed, etc) originally and the thinking was that even if one of these things relented it might help me live with my other symptoms, hence re-instatement. 

 

From what I've been told the brief leap to 7.5mg won't have effected much if I'm back down to 3.5mg again (which I am).

The wider question for me I think is: Is the reinstatement worth it, if it's not tackling the main symptoms I am struggling with? Could it be increasing those symptoms? How long should I hold at 3.5mg to see if anything (outside my main two symptoms - emotional anesthesia and PSSD) changes?

 

The other thing I read elsewhere on this site is that "Mirtazapine has a high affinity for histamine receptors and is therefore sedating at low doses. This is countered to some extent by its enhancement of noradrenergic neurotransmission at higher doses, making mirtazapine less sedative as its dosage is increased." That just made me curious as to whether a large dose might make me feel alive again in a way that I haven't since coming off originally, that's all. 

 

I continue to get out of bed (very late), go out and walk briefly every day, socially engage 2-3 times a week and work part time. But I just can't feel anything or have any interest in anything and I've read about people having no emotions through a reaction to Mirtazapine for 5 years or more, and that's before you get to my PSSD.

 

Unfortunately my situation is complicated by having been prescribed two dangerous drugs back to back in the first place, and unpicking it is proving difficult.

 

To be clear my absolute preference is to be drug free, which I have ben for the majority of the last two years. I am just trying to move my situation on in any way I can so that enables me to keep going, something which is proving difficult right now. 

 

Thanks again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 hours ago, Dee7 said:

Thank you for your reply and thoughts.

 

Important, I think, to clarify that I have not made continual drug changes since Dec 2018.

 

Dec 2018 to Nov 2019 was the initial period I was on/prescribed two drugs back to back - Mirtazapine and Sertraline - with dose changes as advised from my GP which I went along with, knowing absolutely nothing of the potential risks (or of this website). They were by far and away the most quick and brutal changes made and why I am here now. 

 

I then waited a full two years with no further drugs in order to heal with time (my preference by far) and educate myself about my situation, desperately keen not to take anymore of these drugs.

 

On Nov 3rd last year, with all symptoms unrelenting, I decided to try a low-dose reinstatement of the initial drug Mirtazapine. I have not missed a dose since, however the amount has fluctuated as I found it difficult without a reaction, timeline or upper limit to know exactly where I was heading. 

 

I understand now that it may take months to feel the benefit of a minor reinstatement and that it is not meant to be a brief experiment conducted over a few weeks, which I think is what I envisaged. 

 

The other complication is I have PSSD, caused by the second drug, Sertraline. This and my general emotional anesthesia are the most difficult symptoms for me to manage and I'm aware I've been advised that re-instating Mirtazapine probably won't help either of these.

 

However it was coming off the Mirtazapine following my GPs guidance that first gave me my initial batch of symptoms (numb head, teeth, flat, depressed, etc) originally and the thinking was that even if one of these things relented it might help me live with my other symptoms, hence re-instatement. 

 

From what I've been told the brief leap to 7.5mg won't have effected much if I'm back down to 3.5mg again (which I am).

The wider question for me I think is: Is the reinstatement worth it, if it's not tackling the main symptoms I am struggling with? Could it be increasing those symptoms? How long should I hold at 3.5mg to see if anything (outside my main two symptoms - emotional anesthesia and PSSD) changes?

 

The other thing I read elsewhere on this site is that "Mirtazapine has a high affinity for histamine receptors and is therefore sedating at low doses. This is countered to some extent by its enhancement of noradrenergic neurotransmission at higher doses, making mirtazapine less sedative as its dosage is increased." That just made me curious as to whether a large dose might make me feel alive again in a way that I haven't since coming off originally, that's all. 

 

I continue to get out of bed (very late), go out and walk briefly every day, socially engage 2-3 times a week and work part time. But I just can't feel anything or have any interest in anything and I've read about people having no emotions through a reaction to Mirtazapine for 5 years or more, and that's before you get to my PSSD.

 

Unfortunately my situation is complicated by having been prescribed two dangerous drugs back to back in the first place, and unpicking it is proving difficult.

 

To be clear my absolute preference is to be drug free, which I have ben for the majority of the last two years. I am just trying to move my situation on in any way I can so that enables me to keep going, something which is proving difficult right now. 

 

Thanks again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am sorry you are going through this. You have been very patient for two years waiting for symptoms to resolve. I have been doing the same for 15 months seeing only minor improvements and all I can think of everyday is reinstating in the hopes of getting some relief. RI seems to work for some people and not for others , some people even feel better going in a different drug than the one they were on and then taper slowly off that drug. It’s a gamble, I am at a loss myself. I ll keep you in my prayers, this is unnecessary, inhuman suffering brought to us by trusting our doctor. 

[Dee7]

Thanks for the kind words, yes, as you know, those two years were/are very difficult to tough out. I have to say my response to the RI has been pretty neutral so far. No improvement but no disaster either - of course this may be because I haven't held at one dose long enough - but it certainly doesn't feel as if any more damage has been done. In a way it's a frustrating outcome because there's not a lot to conclude from it. My position is complicated by PSSD too which is from the other drug so its become very complicated. Like everyone says, I just want to feel like me again. I really hope you have a breakthrough soon yourself - either through time or RI.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, Dee7 said:

Thanks for the kind words, yes, as you know, those two years were/are very difficult to tough out. I have to say my response to the RI has been pretty neutral so far. No improvement but no disaster either - of course this may be because I haven't held at one dose long enough - but it certainly doesn't feel as if any more damage has been done. In a way it's a frustrating outcome because there's not a lot to conclude from it. My position is complicated by PSSD too which is from the other drug so its become very complicated. Like everyone says, I just want to feel like me again. I really hope you have a breakthrough soon yourself - either through time or RI.

The good thing about ur case is that ur at least able to get out of bed and do few things. I am bedridden …. If I wasnt going through this myself, I wouldn’t have believed this torture is possible from few weeks of an AD . I don’t know how long to just keep waiting hoping to get back to myself … Are u going to quit ur RI? Shame on doctors and what they have done to us….

[Dee7]

I think I will probably need to hold at this low dose for a little bit and see what happens before making a decision.

 

Yes I'm lucky I can force myself up and at least do something but it's very difficult - I agree I never thought it imaginable to feel like this from such brief exposure to ADs.

 

You're doing really well and it's probably still early days for you to come to any judgement on your situation I think, perhaps giving yourself a point in time you'll wait to before looking at RI might help. Sometimes dates, etc can help you feel like you have some sort of plan in place and more control over the situation. Depends on the person I guess.

 

 

 

[Frogie]

@Dee7

 

You made a great statement up above when you gave advise to @JesusSavemefromWD. You said, and I quote, "I think I will probably need to hold at this low dose for a little bit and see what happens before making a decision."

 

I think that is a very wise decision that you are making. Please hold for at least 2 weeks and we can take a look at what is going on at that time.

 

Can you keep some notes and post them please? That would be great.

Keep Notes on Paper

 

We'll get this figured out, just hold, hold, and hold a little more.

[Dee7]

Thanks for you reply, will do. Just to add that I did previously hold at this amount for 2 weeks + in December but to no real improvement which is maybe why I started changing the amount a bit. 

 

Also, I just wondered if anyone could explain this I read elsewhere on the site "Mirtazapine has a high affinity for histamine receptors and is therefore sedating at low doses. This is countered to some extent by its enhancement of noradrenergic neurotransmission at higher doses, making mirtazapine less sedative as its dosage is increased." It just made me curious as to whether a large dose might make me feel alive again in a way that I haven't since coming off originally?

 

[Dee7]

Sorry @Frogie didn't copy you in on my reply...

 

Thanks for you reply, will do. Just to add that I did previously hold at this amount for 2 weeks + in December but to no real improvement which is maybe why I started changing the amount a bit. 

 

Also, I just wondered if anyone could explain this I read elsewhere on the site "Mirtazapine has a high affinity for histamine receptors and is therefore sedating at low doses. This is countered to some extent by its enhancement of noradrenergic neurotransmission at higher doses, making mirtazapine less sedative as its dosage is increased." It just made me curious as to whether a large dose might make me feel alive again in a way that I haven't since coming off originally?

 

[Frogie]

@Dee7

 

Holding for 2 weeks is still way too fast.

 

I don't think it is anymore sedating at a lower dose than at a higher dose. Did you read that on here? If you did I'll be happy to research it🙂

[Dee7]

Thank you @frogie I understand, two weeks too fast. 

 

As for the second bit I read it in the tips below (in the second "quote" para). The only reason I mention it is because the flatlining, numbness, depression, suicidal ideation that hit me hugely (for the first time in my life) came just days after stopping Mirtazapine and has stayed ever since through all this. So "enhancement of neurotransmission at higher doses" sounded interesting and made me curious that I could somehow reverse that collapse of positive emotions via the same drug that caused it. 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Hey there.  Glad you are back to the 3.5 mg of mirtazapine and sitting pretty on that now. 

Chances are, things will feel a little bumpy this week anyway, and so......if it was me, I'd just stay put with the present dose, be patient, do what you can.  It does sound like you have a really decent level of activity.  I know you don't like how you feel all the time, but do be thankful for the sheer ability to do what you are doing now.  Many here are not so lucky.

I don't get why you would want to use ANY drug now, as after all, your drugs have been more responsible for your problems.

On 1/16/2022 at 6:09 AM, Dee7 said:

The wider question for me I think is: Is the reinstatement worth it, if it's not tackling the main symptoms I am struggling with? Could it be increasing those symptoms? How long should I hold at 3.5mg to see if anything (outside my main two symptoms - emotional anesthesia and PSSD) changes?

 

The other thing I read elsewhere on this site is that "Mirtazapine has a high affinity for histamine receptors and is therefore sedating at low doses. This is countered to some extent by its enhancement of noradrenergic neurotransmission at higher doses, making mirtazapine less sedative as its dosage is increased." That just made me curious as to whether a large dose might make me feel alive again in a way that I haven't since coming off originally, that's all. 

 

 

I don't know why this did not quote below, and just copied.  This from Santino, last friday.  Did you read this?  And what did you think?

__________________________

Hi Dee

From my Experience at the doses between 7.5 up to 3 i was feeling really drowsy. Last year in 2020 due to corona i suffered big time from insomnia so i was forced to have a short love affair with Mirtazapine just for sleeping. I started with 4Mg and i slept well but the next day i was foggy and started to have this brain fog feeling that you mentioned. I got alarmed and i immediately lowered the mirtazapine to 3mg and the next day the foggy feeling was gone. So i continued preserving sleep and tapering slowly for 3-4 months until i reached 0 in May 2021. 

In your case i believe you are taking mirt only to preserve sleep and it has activating properties at doses 15mg and above. If i was you, i was sleeping well i would not go for higher doses just for the AD properties of Mirt. It would be better to stay where you are and slowly lower the doses by 10% every 3-4 weeks while preserving sleep. If you keep notes you will understand whether your intense symptoms are from Mirtazapine or something else. 

From your description i notice you have stopped MIRT quite fast the first time and then you had some time with sertraline so the destability you mention before the reinstatement might as well be related with WD of the first two periods you were on these drugs. 

All the best

Santino
 

_________________

 

I think this response also addresses your question.  Honestly, going on up and back on 15 mg of mirtazapine, to see if it is activating.........I mean I cannot see doing that, for someone who is trying to get drug free.  Or even up to 7.5 mg, as you were doing.

 

Reinstatement is about using a small dose of a drug to relieve WD symptoms.

It sounds like you might be more interested in re-medication??

And again, that's not what we are all about here, our mission, purpose, etc.

We are a site for tapering off of drugs, and then, support around that, and around WD, if it should occur.

 

Here's our reinstatement topic, if you have not seen it yet:

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

7 hours ago, Dee7 said:

It just made me curious as to whether a large dose might make me feel alive again in a way that I haven't since coming off originally?

 

Me, I would not play with any of these drugs in this way.  And that is simply remedicating yourself.  I don't want any part of doing that, or helping you do that, to be honest.  If you want to discuss remedicating yourself, there are other support sites for this, such as http://DepressionForums.org or http://PatientsLikeMe.com.  

 

1 hour ago, Dee7 said:

making mirtazapine less sedative as its dosage is increased.

 

.......and I don't know, less sedative isn't necessarily more activating.  You could still feel really blah.

I would go the course of HOLDING now, at least 2 weeks.

 

Doing some Notes, both for you, and then also for us and sharing them when you have a question, and before you make a significant drug change again,  IS a great idea.  Some journal, or keep records of their own, as to how changes affect them over time.

Do look at the link Frogie gave you, as reporting in that way, to us, is very helpful, when you ask questions around your drug(s).

 

Adding in some further non-drug coping may be key here and now, too.

Have you explored any of the forums here like:

Symptoms and Self Care

Finding Meaning

 

I mean I know we all like to be independent minded, but I get frustrated too, when members take a lot of our time, and then just do whatever.  That's easy to understand, isn't it?  And I really do start to feel bad, whenever I see members opting for further drugging.  I just do.  I had enough of that myself and became very ill.  Well before I saw the light of what these drugs actually do, and the whole fallacy sometimes of their prescription and usage.

 

Okay, and best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Adding in this topic too, for you Dee7:

PSSD Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction

I'm not sure if you've seen this topic.  And I know it's difficult, this symptom.  I was fortunate in that it was never a major WD symptom for me.  I just encountered some difficulties with citalopram mainly, luckily resolved later.  And I don't like to talk much about that stuff out on the www. 

 

Edited January 17, 2022 by manymoretodays
additional link and comment

[manymoretodays]

I did do some editing above ^.

And also would like to clarify that I am not suggesting that you abandon the mirtazapine completely now.  Looks like you have been on your reinstatement attempt long enough now, to benefit from tapering, eventually.  Okay, thanks. 

[Dee7]

Thank you for your thoughts and advice @manymoretodays

 

Trust me I have no desire to be on any more drugs, as I've explained before - I waited 2 years without any to try and heal.

 

My situation is that this February it will be 3 years of acute numbness, emotional anesthesia, anhedonia etc without any change - this came out of nowhere for the first time in my life when coming off Mirtazapine and worsened still when getting PSSD after coming off Sertraline. 

 

Although I can get out the house, it's still extremely difficult to live like this, so this is why I am exploring all options because I wonder how long I can tolerate it. 

 

I was already advised that this low-dose Mirtazapine reinstatement wouldn't address these symptoms so I knew that going into this, but hoped it might relieve some others (numb head, teeth, etc) enabling me to keep going.

 

I think from Santino's reply he may have thought I was reinstating the Mirtazapine to get sleep - I wasn't - I have slept pretty much fine for the past three years as I am so flat to begin with - I have no anxiety, stress, insomnia, etc. It's feeling alive that I have the problem with. That is why the phrase "activating" grabbed my attention.

 

I understand the need for stability and will keep going with 3.5. I guess I just worry about how much it will improve my all-round situation, which I understand is complicated by the legacy of thee two different drugs. Nothing has significantly changed for me either in the last three years or the last two months of reinstatement, But fingers crossed. Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

31 minutes ago, Dee7 said:

Thank you for your thoughts and advice @manymoretodays

 

Trust me I have no desire to be on any more drugs, as I've explained before - I waited 2 years without any to try and heal.

 

My situation is that this February it will be 3 years of acute numbness, emotional anesthesia, anhedonia etc without any change - this came out of nowhere for the first time in my life when coming off Mirtazapine and worsened still when getting PSSD after coming off Sertraline. 

 

Although I can get out the house, it's still extremely difficult to live like this, so this is why I am exploring all options because I wonder how long I can tolerate it. 

 

I was already advised that this low-dose Mirtazapine reinstatement wouldn't address these symptoms so I knew that going into this, but hoped it might relieve some others (numb head, teeth, etc) enabling me to keep going.

 

I think from Santino's reply he may have thought I was reinstating the Mirtazapine to get sleep - I wasn't - I have slept pretty much fine for the past three years as I am so flat to begin with - I have no anxiety, stress, insomnia, etc. It's feeling alive that I have the problem with. That is why the phrase "activating" grabbed my attention.

 

I understand the need for stability and will keep going with 3.5. I guess I just worry about how much it will improve my all-round situation, which I understand is complicated by the legacy of thee two different drugs. Nothing has significantly changed for me either in the last three years or the last two months of reinstatement, But fingers crossed. Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s clear what you are trying to figure out; that is if mitrazepam works as a sedative at low doses then it might make ur symptoms worst but if at higher doses works as an AD then u might need higher doses to feel better. I guess the only way to answer this question is how did you feel when you were initially put on 15 mg mitrazepam , did u feel numb then or after you quitted? This is terrible, I have also lost myself in this AD triggered torture and I just don’t understand why these drugs are handed so easily. 

[manymoretodays]

1 hour ago, Dee7 said:

My situation is that this February it will be 3 years of acute numbness, emotional anesthesia, anhedonia etc without any change - this came out of nowhere for the first time in my life when coming off Mirtazapine and worsened still when getting PSSD after coming off Sertraline. 

 

Okay, and so sorry Dee7.  I hope I did not minimize your struggle/suffering.  That wasn't my intent at all. 

 

1 hour ago, Dee7 said:

I think from Santino's reply he may have thought I was reinstating the Mirtazapine to get sleep - I wasn't - I have slept pretty much fine for the past three years as I am so flat to begin with - I have no anxiety, stress, insomnia, etc. It's feeling alive that I have the problem with. That is why the phrase "activating" grabbed my attention.

 

I understand the need for stability and will keep going with 3.5. I guess I just worry about how much it will improve my all-round situation, which I understand is complicated by the legacy of thee two different drugs. Nothing has significantly changed for me either in the last three years or the last two months of reinstatement, But fingers crossed. Thanks.

 

Yes, we've clarified a bit now though and so this is good.

You just want to come back into being.  I get that.

 

I don't think the holding now, and then tapering the mirtazapine, is going to further complicate your eventual healing sweetie.  When Santino comes back around here, they will see your updates too.  And as they have managed to get through to "sanity" (and I just love their Success Story, and so have them pegged now as sane Santino), I'm sure they will be helpful with your tapering.

 

It's unfortunate that all doctors are not more aware, and that they don't often give us full disclosure on these drugs.  Nor can many help when it comes to decent de-prescribing.

 

And okay.  We ARE on the same page then Dee7.  My fingers too are crossed, and sending vibes, meditations/prayers for you too as far as significant positive change on the horizon for you.

 

Keep us updated.  Pop on around the site too.  Sometimes helping others with support encouragement, etc. helps too.  Has for me and so many others here.  And time......you've certainly already built up time already........and so, just guessing really but feeling very hopeful you will feel positive change soon. 💜

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Dee7]

Thanks @JesusSavemefromWD - it's an interesting point - it was five days after I quit that I felt horrendous. I was fine while on the 15mg.

 

I'm sorry, it's frustrating to have to endure these symptoms and have to navigate through the maze of waiting and/or RI at the same time, I'm sure none of us want to be on these drugs if we don't have to.

 

 

 

 

 

[Dee7]

Thanks @manymoretodays that's fine I understand where you are coming from. The particular symptoms I have make it very difficult to be pro-active online currently and I find it hard to engage otherwise I would probably do more. Thanks for the positivity. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

37 minutes ago, Dee7 said:

Thanks @JesusSavemefromWD - it's an interesting point - it was five days after I quit that I felt horrendous. I was fine while on the 15mg.

 

I'm sorry, it's frustrating to have to endure these symptoms and have to navigate through the maze of waiting and/or RI at the same time, I'm sure none of us want to be on these drugs if we don't have to.

 

 

 

 

 

That might further prove ur point of higher mitrazepam doses working as an AD and lower as sedative … it’s a freaking gamble …. I wasn’t fine on Zoloft but totally lost my mind after completely coming off it…. I am guessing this is worst than cocaine addiction…

[JesusSavemefromWD]

If u don’t mind me asking why did u start mitrazepam and why did u stop it if you felt fine? I went on Zoloft for chest tightness (nothing else) but I had horrific side effects and stopped it thinking I ll be ok…. Little did I know it go deeper into hell as probably my brain had already gotten addicted to it …. 

[Dee7]

I went on to treat a condition, then instinctively felt it was not for me and thought coming off after a few weeks would be no big deal (as most people would I think) but of course was very wrong. But, yes, the mayhem started after stopping. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Dee7,

How has your week been?  Any windows of note?  Even a slight improvement in any of the symptoms you had mentioned

On 1/17/2022 at 12:36 PM, manymoretodays said:

acute numbness, emotional anesthesia, anhedonia etc without any change - this came out of nowhere for the first time in my life when coming off Mirtazapine and worsened still when getting PSSD after coming off Sertraline. 

 

(that's got my name on the quote, as I think I quoted my quote of your symptoms)

Anyway, yes, 3 years you had said IS a long time of symptoms like yours.......not that it is that unusual for people with WD, and/or drug effects.......I just mean I can understand your frustration.

 

So.......hoping that perhaps you have noticed a lightening up of any symptom, even if it's just for a short time period during one day.  Even that can be considered window land.

 

And me and my optimism sometimes......LOL, it CAN be too much at times.......even for me.  I don't think it's a natural trait to my character, just something I found I had to develop, as I went through my own process of healing from WD, and continued healing from drug damages.  I do cherish my sense of humor though, and ability to laugh at some of the inane.

 

And on that note, give me something good.......or something that makes you laugh out loud.  It's a great antidote, however brief, from symptoms.

 

And best.  L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

[Dee7]

Thanks for your message @manymoretodays I have been holding at 3.5mg with no real change but looking for those windows like you say. 

 

I wonder that your thoughts are in where to head next from here? Not that I want to make a sudden change I just feel better for having a bit of a roadmap.

 

How long would you recommend remaining at 3.5mg point for? If there is no change after that is it worth heading upwards (I've seen some successful reinstatement stories at higher levels even after a gap of a few years like me) or would it be a case of tapering down and off the drug in your opinion, if so at what pace?

 

Also: My situation is complicated by having been prescribed two drugs, the second of which was Sertraline which left me with PSSD among other symptoms. I've been advised that any re-instatement of that would be unlikely to fix the PSSD but, again, I see stories of people successfully reinstating Sertraline after years and at least feeling better. 

 

I'm just trying to consider all options available to move me out of this increasingly static and tough situation.

 

Thank you.

 

 

[Elaine5]

Hello Dee, hope you are in good spirits. How have you been? What happened with the reinstatement? 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 9/16/2021 at 2:52 PM, PgadAdam said:

@Dee7 not sure really, i've been off for 30 months still not healed. we will have to see in the following years if symptoms begin to fade, wishing you luck on your recovery. it's awful the way we've been treated by the NHS but we can't lose hope, i know just how much anhedonia and apathy stops us from being emotionally invested in friends,family and our hobbies. like you i'm simply surviving untill i feel more human again. i hope you will get back to your normal self one day, sending hugs

have things gotten better ??

[PgadAdam]

58 minutes ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

have things gotten better ??

ive dmed you, not yet but it takes time. you'll make it out of this healthy and happy again

 

kind regards, adam