tapererer: Possible "kindling" issue

[tapererer]

6/14

 

2:30 am Awoke — sleep on and off

5:00 am Anxiety level 2

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level .5

7:00 am Anxiety level  1.5

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2

10:30 am Anxiety level 2.5

12:00 pm Anxiety level 2

1:30 Anxiety level 2.5

4:00pm Anxiety level 1.5. Took Wellbutrin 50mg

Acupuncture

6:30 Anxiety level 1.5

8:00 pm Anxiety level 2.5

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2.5

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level 3

[Altostrata]

A 25mg decrease from 225mg is about 11%. That's probably okay at the higher dosages.

[tapererer]

Just now, Altostrata said:

A 25mg decrease from 225mg is about 11%. That's probably okay at the higher dosages.

Thanks! I'll keep you posted. 

[tapererer]

6/15

 

2:30 am Awoke — sleep on and off

5:00 am Anxiety level 2

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level 1

7:30 am Anxiety level  2

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2

10:00 Anxiety Level .5

12:00 pm Anxiety level 2

TMS

1:30 Anxiety level 2.5

4:00pm Anxiety level 1. Took Wellbutrin 50mg

6:30 Anxiety level 1.5

7:00 Anxiety level 1

8:00 pm Anxiety level .5

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level .5

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level .5

[tapererer]

6/16

 

4:30 am Awoke — Anxiety Level 1.5

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level .5

7:00 am Anxiety level  0

7:30 am Anxiety level  1

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 1.5

10:00 Anxiety Level .5

1:00 Anxiety level 1

3:00 Anxiety level 1.5

4:00pm Anxiety level 1. Took Wellbutrin 50mg

5:30 Anxiety level 2.5

7:00 Anxiety level 3.5

8:00 pm Anxiety level 1

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 1

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level 1.5

[tapererer]

6/17

 

3:30 am Awoke — Anxiety Level 1.5

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level 2

7:00 am Anxiety level  2.5

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 3

10:00 Anxiety Level 1.5

11:30 Anxiety Level 2

TMS

1:00 Anxiety level 2.5

2:30 Anxiety level 4.5

3:30 Anxiety level 2

4:00pm Anxiety level 2.5. Took Wellbutrin 50mg

5:00 Anxiety level 3

7:00 Anxiety level 1.5

8:00 pm Anxiety level 1

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 1

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level 1

[tapererer]

6/18

 

4:30 am Awoke — Anxiety Level 0

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level 0

7:00 am Anxiety level  .5

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level .5

10:00 Anxiety Level 1

12:00 Anxiety level 1

2:30 Anxiety level .5

3:30 Anxiety level 1.5

4:00pm Anxiety level 1

Took Wellbutrin 50mg

4:30 Acupuncture

6:00 Anxiety level .5

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level 1

[Nanda]

3 hours ago, tapererer said:

6/18

 

4:30 am Awoke — Anxiety Level 0

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level 0

7:00 am Anxiety level  .5

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level .5

10:00 Anxiety Level 1

12:00 Anxiety level 1

2:30 Anxiety level .5

3:30 Anxiety level 1.5

4:00pm Anxiety level 1

Took Wellbutrin 50mg

4:30 Acupuncture

6:00 Anxiety level .5

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level 1

I'm very happy for your progress! ❤️

[tapererer]

On 6/19/2021 at 10:35 AM, Nanda said:

I'm very happy for your progress!

Thank you — still having my ups and downs, but thetrend is promising 🙂 

[tapererer]

6/19

 

5:00 am Awoke — Anxiety Level 0

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level 0

7:30 am Anxiety level  1

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 1

11:30 Anxiety level 1.5

3:00 Anxiety level 2.5

4:00pm Anxiety level 2

Took Wellbutrin 50mg

6:00 Anxiety level 3

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level .5

[tapererer]

6/20

 

4:30 am Awoke — Anxiety Level 0

6:00 am Took Wellbutrin XL 150m Anxiety level 0

7:30 am Anxiety level  1

Depression

8:30 am Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 1

11:30 Anxiety level 1

Depression

3:00 Anxiety level 2

4:00pm Anxiety level 2

Took Wellbutrin 50mg

6:00 Anxiety level 3.5

8:30 pm Took Ativan .5mg Anxiety level 2

10:00 pm bed. Anxiety level 1

[tapererer]

From today, changing Ativan schedule from 8:30 AM & 8:30 PM to 9 AM and 9 PM, unless you see a problem with that @Altostrata. This will help keep my mood tracking and dosing on the hour, which will make things a bit easier. (Starting to keep it all in a spreadsheet now).

[tapererer]

The new psychiatrist recommended I switch out the morning Wellbutrin 150 XL (24-hour release) for 150 SL (12-hour release). This would mean less effect on my sleep so should help build my resilience as my GABA/Glutamate system normalizes (which happens during sleep).

 

I have the new prescription and  am thinking of making the change tomorrow. 
 

@Altostrata, any thoughts on this?

[tapererer]

 

6/21/21 Anxiety Levels

04:00

05:00

06:00

07:00

08:00

09:00

10:00

11:00

12:00

13:00

14:00

15:00

16:00

17:00

18:00

19:00

20:00

21:00

22:00

23:00

AVG

WB 150 XL

Ativan .5

WB 50 IR

Ativan .5

0

0

1

2

3

2

2

2

2

2.5

1.5

1.5

1.5

1.62

[tapererer]

6/22/21 Anxiety Levels

04:00	05:00	06:00	07:00	08:00	09:00	10:00	11:00	12:00	13:00	14:00	15:00	16:00	17:00	18:00	19:00	20:00	21:00	22:00	23:00	AVG
		WB 150 XL			AV .5							WB 50 IR					AV .5
0		1	1.5	2	2	1.5	1	1	1.5	1.5	1	1.5		1.5	2	1		1		1.31

 

 

While anxiety levels have come way down, they seemed to have stayed at a consistent, though low level.

 

Depression, on the other hand, is strongly increasing and I'm not sure why. I'm having trouble believing that anything is really improving, and I'm not sure what will make things better. 

[Altostrata]

Your new schedule sounds fine. 

 

On 6/23/2021 at 7:20 AM, tapererer said:

Depression, on the other hand, is strongly increasing and I'm not sure why. I'm having trouble believing that anything is really improving, and I'm not sure what will make things better. 

 

This sounds like your worry, rather than a withdrawal symptom. You're going to need to be patient, it can take time to unravel these things. Hang in there. Sounds like you have a good doctor. You might discuss your symptom pattern with him.

[tapererer]

18 hours ago, Altostrata said:

This sounds like your worry, rather than a withdrawal symptom. You're going to need to be patient, it can take time to unravel these things. Hang in there.

I think you’re right on all counts, and thanks for the encouragement. 
I’ll be making the change from XL to SL on Monday, and will keep you posted…

 

Thanks…!

[tapererer]

@Altostrata, thanks again for the help you've been. 

 

18 hours ago, tapererer said:

This sounds like your worry, rather than a withdrawal symptom

 

Things are pretty bad. I was up again at 3 unable to sleep and feeling the anxiety start to creep back in. Truth is, I still don't really know what's going on with me, and it's scary. I will see my psychiatrist next Friday, but I find myself asking the same questions over and over that I hope someone here can help with in the meantime.

 

I just don't quite understand what it is I'm suffering withdrawals from. If you recall, I stopped Wellbutrin after a 4-month taper in February, but reinstated and have been back on almost 4 months now. Can withdrawals continue this long after reinstatement?

 

Or is it the 2 x .5mg Ativan that's doing this? Or am I just doing this to myself?

 

It would go a long way with me if someone could explain why I'm feeling these effects still. I know there can be no definitive answer, but is what I'm going through typical? 

 

Again, I will see my doctor on Friday, but that seems a long way away, and I really looking to find some comfort in the meantime...

 

Thank again...

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

From your history, it appears you've been switching drugs and changing dosage frequently since 2013. This is wearing on one's nervous system, which is not made of rubber. It looks like drugs were switched and added because something was going wrong.

 

You may have post-discontinuation syndrome from any of the drugs you've taken for more than a month. How did you feel on Zoloft after that switch from Effexor in 2014? Why did you switch to Wellbutrin? Why was Abilify added?

 

How did you feel after you went off Abilify in May?

 

Why did you go back on Wellbutrin in February? For what reason did you start Ativan in March? Has your Ativan dosing been inconsistent in any period in the last 4 months?

 

 

[tapererer]

@Altostrata, thank you…

 

How did you feel on Zoloft after that switch from Effexor in 2014? 
 

I don’t remember the switch being especially difficult. We were starting to see which drug would work for me, and Zoloft seemed to do the trick.

 

Why did you switch to Wellbutrin? 
 

Didn’t like sexual side effects.

Why was Abilify added?

 

I don’t think the Wellbutrin was working as well without it.

 

I wish knew then what I know now, but instead I just took my Dr’s recommendations.

 

How did you feel after you went off Abilify in May?

 

I feel that my Abilify taper was successful, since it took 2 years, and I was on just a minute dose the last couple of months.

 

Why did you go back on Wellbutrin in February? 

 

A couple of weeks after I completed a 4-month taper of Wellbutrin, my mood started to worsen and I became very depressed. I figured it was due to stopping the Wellbutrin too quickly, so I decided to reinstate.

 

For what reason did you start Ativan in March?
 

To help with those withdrawal symptoms.

 

Has your Ativan dosing been inconsistent in any period in the last 4 months?

 

I started out with .5mg once or twice a day “as needed” (per the prescription).

 

Then after a few weeks, was taking .5 mg twice every. Then started taking 1mg once a day.

 

This apparently caused inter-dosal withdrawal, and with your help I was able to go back to 2 x .5/day. I would say my previous dosing up to that point was “inconsistent.’

 

[Altostrata]

It appears that you may have protracted withdrawal syndrome from going off Wellbutrin in February, exacerbated by interdose withdrawal from inconsistent Ativan dosing.

 

Drugs working "not as well" is also a red flag for underlying withdrawal syndrome or adverse reaction.

[Altostrata]

How are you doing, @tapererer?

[tapererer]

10 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How are you doing, @tapererer?

I’m gradually improving, I think, @Altostrata, thank you.

 

Still working with my new, more understanding psychiatrist and am waiting a bit longer for things to settle down more before we start coming off the Ativan. I’m very hopeful and have had some really good days, but they’re still outnumbered by the not so good days…

 

I’ll try to be better about updating this topic.

 

Thanks again!