Greatful: Is this withdrawal or too many med changes at once?

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  Yes it was totally unexpected, it was getting to the point that you didn't want to go to bed just to wake up and feel so awful in the morning, then you have to wade through the slug to get past the first few hours in the day. 😏  If you can set up a little routine that seems to help get past the thought, what am I going to do to get through the day....Break it down in some segments.

Friday I will feel out my FMLA paper work for work.  I am a little nervous,  there has been some contact through text and email with of my co- worker, boss and the the big boss as to starting up the school year, changes with scheduling,(due to covid) back to school workshop etc.  I have to act like I am still going to be there. ( I did let them know I wasn't going to make it to the workshop) I hope to turn in the paper work Friday or Monday.  I have big mixed emotions about doing this.  But I know that I have to for my health.😥

 

Hope you had a good day....❤️

[Kat66]

On 8/5/2021 at 5:52 PM, Greatful said:

@Mia1  Really feeling discouraged,  My moods are changing from anxiety, d/r, depression, anger, fatigue, I think I am getting a hint of apathy.   Mornings can be so tough for me. Did my walk, and haven't done much else, make a smoothie and sit on the computer.

This is basically me at the moment. I have had to strip everything back to the most basic of levels, that’s to say, if I manage to get two/three things done that day I’ve done well. So you’ve gone for a walk and made a smoothie, as well as sit at your computer. Something to be proud of. X

[Greatful]

@Kat66

Are we having fun yet😆  It's  enough to drive you crazy.  I thought today I could go to a few stores.  Well now I am paying for it. My brain is mad at me, who every is pushed  the wooden peg into my brain can you please stop😵 Shaky tingling arms and the panic decides to  show up again.

Thank goodness super and dishes are done and I am done for the day😊

   

[Kat66]

@Greatful I know that feeling of wanting to do more. If I get a slight feeling of more energy I’ll start planning to do more. Just don’t do it! 😉 I’m in the process of decorating our bedroom. I’m basically doing a tiny bit at a time. Then I have to sit down with a cup of tea til the fatigue passes and I can do the next little job. It’ll get done eventually. Needless to say the housework is not getting done at the same level as before this sh*tstorm started. Every task feels like climbing Everest! X 

[Cheeky]

23 hours ago, Greatful said:

have big mixed emotions about doing this.  But I know that I have to for my health.😥

I think what your doing is great, have this time off and look after yourself. Don”t worry about them just focus on you and your  healing. 

[Cheeky]

How’s your morning my friend? 

[Greatful]

@Kat66

4 hours ago, Kat66 said:

I’m in the process of decorating our bedroom.

I have been working on my bathroom.  It started with a new vanity top, well the top doesn't fit the same so I had to repaint, then I scrub the grout on the floor with a toothbrush and stained it slate gray.  It is amazing how we can power through it.  I was having a horrendous day the day I scrub the grout,  I was in such a mess in my mind and so depressed, I spent part of the time sobbing as I was scrubbing. I try to work on it a little bit each day if I could muster up enough energy.  Still not all done and it may take many more days but it gives me something else to focus on.

5 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Every task feels like climbing Everest!

Even making a meal does at times.

The sad part is with the anxiety and restlessness it is hard to just relax so you are stuck in a cycle of no energy and restlessness which leads me to panic.  UGH!

 

We can and will get through this.   Accepting were we are at today, stay in the day, not dwell on what we use to be able to do and not dwell on will this every get better. (because we know it will, we are healing a little every day). All any of us have is the day we are in at that moment.  We are doing a excellent job dealing  with lifeday by day ,  we are living each day the best we can with the horrendous disfunction in our brains that happens in WD.  We are STRONG 💪

 

 

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  Hi,  I think of you in my late afternoon,  evenings, wondering if you are up yet and my early mornings wondering if you are in bed already. 

20 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

I think what your doing is great, have this time off and look after yourself. Don”t worry about them just focus on you and your  healing.

Today is the back to school workshop🥴  I am having some mixed emotions, That is my old life and what will my new life look like when I am through this mess.🤥

 

 

How was your day?❤️

[Mia1]

39 minutes ago, Greatful said:

That is my old life and what will my new life look like when I am through this mess.🤥

Stopping by to say hi. I honestly think you would make an amazing life coach, I see you being very successful at that. Is it something you’d be interested in doing when this is all over?

[Greatful]

@Mia1  

1 hour ago, Mia1 said:

Is it something you’d be interested in doing when this is all over?

I think it would be awesome to figure out away to open a big clinic (like a hippy compound ha, ha)  for people in withdrawal and tapering off of meds.  I guess I would have to magically come into a lot of money.🥴🙄💰

 

I guess there is the  first clinic for withdrawal in Europe some where.  I don't think people stay there.  I think I read it on here somewhere.  If I remember right their goal is to train the medical field on withdrawal.  I will try and find were I read it. Or maybe someone on here will see this and know more about it. 

[Frogie]

@Greatful

 

You posted this on Moonpie’s thread and just wanted to give you some insight. I hope you don’t mind.

 

 

   On 8/14/2021 at 6:48 AM,  Moonpie said: 

I have noticed also lexapro users have like us seem to be having  A really hard time .

“Help, this does not sound good for me😢  I really want to start tapering this as awful drug.  I think it is stimulating me. But I am afraid to start, the last 9 months have been awful.”

 

Lexapro is not fun to come off (at least for me it wasn’t). It took me approximately 4 years to taper 10 mg, but I did it. With lots of help from this site. I was a mess. I’ve been off for a little over 2 years now, and I can say I am healed from the Lexapro (Xanax is another story ugh). But you can and will get off of it if you just do a nice slow taper and listen to your body. That was the hardest part for me to learn. I was told by a moderator on here that Lexapro is like a tiger, don’t pull its tail. And they were right! When you are ready, if you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them for you.

 

Just make sure you’re stable before you start. That’s the key.

 

Hang in there, it does get better😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[Kat66]

5 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66

I was in such a mess in my mind and so depressed, I spent part of the time sobbing as I was scrubbing. I try to work on it a little bit each day if I could muster up enough energy.  Still not all done and it may take many more days but it gives me something else to focus on.

Even making a meal does at times.

The sad part is with the anxiety and restlessness it is hard to just relax so you are stuck in a cycle of no energy and restlessness which leads me to panic.  UGH!

I hear you. All this resonates - in particular that feeling of no energy combined with restlessness - UGH indeed

 

5 hours ago, Greatful said:

Accepting were we are at today, stay in the day, not dwell on what we use to be able to do and not dwell on will this every get better.

 

I'm starting to accept this WD healing journey and not fight it. In a weird way it makes it slightly easier. It's a new reality....for now.

[Greatful]

 @Frogie  Thank you so much for the support.  How stable is stable?  I know that I am slowly feeling some sanity returning to my brain, I really can't give a % of how stable I am. But I am concerned that some of my symptoms are from the Lexapro.  I think it over stimulates me.  I know it is hard to tell how much is wd from all that happened last winter, spring and I think I am in some xanax wd to.  I did drop down on the xanax  quite fast in May.  You worked with me to set up a schedule and that is good, but I think the drop caught up to me.  I don't know what is what.  I still have quite a few symptoms but I can tell there has been some healing that has happened.

 

  I have so much brain issues.  Zapping, numb, tingling, pressure, burning, spot that  can get pretty sore, they move around my brain. Sometimes the top of my brain feels like it is crushing in (I now call it my sink hole) vice grips squeezing my temples.  The crazy thing is that they come on strong for awhile then get a little better but some thing is usually going on all the time. It does quite down 95% of the time when I sleep.  When the burning and tingling get real bad I get really dizzy then.  Can this really be from WD? 

My new pdoc (meet via computer in June) was wondering if it is from the Lexapro.  I will take the advice from you guys here on SA as when to start to taper off.  I meet with her on Tuesday next week.  She knows that I am trying to stabilize from the mess that happened under my other doctors care.  Should I just get my med refills and tell her I am going to wait a little longer to start tapering.(she knows that is my goal, to get off the meds)

Edited August 19, 2021 by Greatful

[Cheeky]

8 hours ago, Mia1 said:

Stopping by to say hi. I honestly think you would make an amazing life coach, I see you being very successful at that. Is it something you’d be interested in doing when this is all over?

@Mia1 I think she would to and also think you would be amazing as well . 
I would love if there was a telephone helpline people could ring that would be amazing  or support groups run on zoom once a week. 

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

Should I just get my med refills and tell her I am going to wait a little longer to start tapering.(she knows that is my goal, to get off the meds)

Edited 1 hour ago by Greatful

I personally think yes, whatever you do do t change anything yet, I know you want to  but your CNS has been through a lot , this is why it’s good to have a break from work and look after yourself. 

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

 @Frogie  Thank you so much for the support.  How stable is stable?  I know that I am slowly feeling some sanity returning to my brain, I really can't give a % of how stable I am. But I am concerned that some of my symptoms are from the Lexapro.  I think it over stimulates me.  I know it is hard to tell how much is wd from all that happened last winter, spring and I think I am in some xanax wd to.  I did drop down on the xanax  quite fast in May.  You worked with me to set up a schedule and that is good, but I think the drop caught up to me.  I don't know what is what.  I still have quite a few symptoms but I can tell there has been some healing that has happened.

 

  I have so much brain issues.  Zapping, numb, tingling, pressure, burning, spot that  can get pretty sore, they move around my brain. Sometimes the top of my brain feels like it is crushing in (I now call it my sink hole) vice grips squeezing my temples.  The crazy thing is that they come on strong for awhile then get a little better but some thing is usually going on all the time. It does quite down 95% of the time when I sleep.  When the burning and tingling get real bad I get really dizzy then.  Can this really be from WD? 

My new pdoc (meet via computer in June) was wondering if it is from the Lexapro.  I will take the advice from you guys here on SA as when to start to taper off.  I meet with her on Tuesday next week.  She knows that I am trying to stabilize from the mess that happened under my other doctors care.  Should I just get my med refills and tell her I am going to wait a little longer to start tapering.(she knows that is my goal, to get off the meds)

I agree with @Frogie you have to stabilise before starting any taper. 

[Greatful]

@Cheeky Thanks for the nice compliment and for taking care of me.  

 

1 hour ago, Cheeky said:

I would love if there was a telephone helpline people could ring that would be amazing  or support groups run on zoom once a week. 

  Each person would have to have zoom and you can have up to 100 and chat for 40 minutes.  Someone has to set up a meeting and email who you want to invite to it.  I did  a zoom meeting once for support group central.  

You could be seen live when you were talking if you wanted, some just had a random picture in their box, or you could turn your camera off.

[Mia1]

12 hours ago, Cheeky said:

@Mia1 I think she would to and also think you would be amazing as well . 

Thank you @Cheeky ❤️

[Mia1]

  

Good morning @Greatfulhere are the sleep sounds you wanted, enjoy!!

[Frogie]

@Greatful

 

I remember well helping you with your Xanax, and while you did do it very quickly, I hope you are stable on this dosage and beginning to feel a little better.

 

Lexapro can be stimulating that is very true. I know you said you don’t think you could put a % on your stabilization, but from May (when you got your dosage straightened out on your Xanax) to now, how are you feeling? The same, better, worse? You say you have brain zaps. How often and how long does it happen/last? I’m just trying to get an idea if dropping a tiny bit might calm the symptoms down. Lexapro is hard to get off of the lower you go I found. 
 

Let me know what you think and how you’re feeling 😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[Greatful]

@Frogie   Before I address tapering Lexapro.. I need advice on moving my Lexapro form noon to take it with my 8am with my  Lamictal and other supplements.   I am on some many different times taking meds....7-am Xanax 8-am Lamictal and supplements 12-pm Lexapro 

 8:30-pm Xanax  9:30- pm Trazadone and melatonin and Magn. Omega 3 L Theanine throughout the day.  I forgot my Lexapro yesterday, I didn't notice it until 8:30pm, I decided to wait until today to take it, so I took it at 10-am instead of waiting until noon.  So I went  22 hours without taking it.  I would like to slowly over the next few days  move it to take at 8 am.  I just need to know if there is any reason I can't take it at the same time as the Lamictal?  I am feeling a little bump with the 1 day missing it.  I also metabolize it quickly.  How long do you think it will take to adjust to this little miss hap.  My brain is quite worked up.

 

4 hours ago, Frogie said:

from May (when you got your dosage straightened out on your Xanax) to now, how are you feeling? The same, better, worse?

I dropped the Xanax fast in May, but you and I adjusted the dosing times the first week in July.  I think I am having some wd from it still.

Over all I am slowly seeing some  improvements.  Still have a lot of confusion and disconnected thinking that comes and goes. 20% better.  I have a lot of underlining panic 75% of the time. I think I have some akathisia, underlining restlessness.  Arm and leg weakness, electricity running lightly through my body. shakey numbness on my face mostly on left side. Left eye too.  

 

4 hours ago, Frogie said:

You say you have brain zaps.

My brain is the most trouble some.  I don't have a sudden zap but a numbing tingling sensation that can feel like electricity in my brain.

On 8/19/2021 at 4:08 PM, Greatful said:

I have so much brain issues.  Zapping, numb, tingling, pressure, burning, spot that  can get pretty sore, they move around my brain. Sometimes the top of my brain feels like it is crushing in (I now call it my sink hole) vice grips squeezing my temples.  The crazy thing is that they come on strong for awhile then get a little better but some thing is usually going on all the time. It does quite down 95% of the time when I sleep.  When the burning and tingling get real bad I get really dizzy then.

This is what I am talking about. When I get really over stimulated my brain symptoms get worse.

 

I am just wondering if the Lexapro is increasing my panic, underlining anxiety restlessness. Quite a bit I will feel l so intense, panicky and my brain will be very intense.  I feel like I have to bolt and take off.

 

I am so sorry to put all this to you,  so many different things can be contributing to my symptoms.   I could go on and on but I will stop and if you have any questions just ask☺️

[Cheeky]

Hello my lovely friend,

how have you been? Did you hand in your papers to work?

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  Thank you so much for stopping by.  Yes I did turn in my part of the paperwork. Not everything is in yet. So we wait and see.    It was a very emotional thing for me to do.  I am not use to backing down, I have pushed through all my life.  I know, I look at it with a negative attitude towards myself, I feel weak for not suffering through it.  I am working on that.  I have to admit this WD is bigger than me and I have other issue that need to finally be dealt with. 

 

I am in a tough wave again.   Man I hate these waves.  I can't make up my mind it I should get angry or fall into the pit of panic again...... 🙄  So hard to stay focused and positive.  

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  So let me throw a temper tantrum.

I HATE THESE DRUGS

 

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DOCTORS DON'T KNOW THE PAIN THEY ARE CAUSING  THEIR PATIENTS WHEN THEY ARE NOT FULLY  EDUCATED ON HOW MUCH THESE DRUGS CAN  HARM THERE PATIENTS WHEN NOT PROPERLY HANDLED. Okay, okay so there are a few doctors that are listening and learning about these drugs.....

 

I STAND BEHIND  ALL DOCTORS WHO PERSCIBE ANTIDEPRESSANT SHOULD IN THEIR TRAINING,  HAVE TO TAKE THEM FOR 2 MONTHS AND THEN STOP (or fast taper). MAYBE THAN THEY WILL TAKE THE TIME TO  EVELUATE THEIR PATIENTS TO SEE IF THEY REALLY NEED THEM.....

 

AHHHH. That felt good....

 

 

[Kat66]

On 8/20/2021 at 12:39 PM, Mia1 said:

  

Good morning @Greatfulhere are the sleep sounds you wanted, enjoy!!

@Greatful @Mia1 I love all these ambient soundscapes! They really help me relax. I play them in the car to help with anger when driving. I hope they help you both too x

[Kat66]

On 8/21/2021 at 10:25 PM, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  So let me throw a temper tantrum.

I HATE THESE DRUGS

 

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DOCTORS DON'T KNOW THE PAIN THEY ARE CAUSING  THEIR PATIENTS WHEN THEY ARE NOT FULLY  EDUCATED ON HOW MUCH THESE DRUGS CAN  HARM THERE PATIENTS WHEN NOT PROPERLY HANDLED. Okay, okay so there are a few doctors that are listening and learning about these drugs.....

 

I STAND BEHIND  ALL DOCTORS WHO PERSCIBE ANTIDEPRESSANT SHOULD IN THEIR TRAINING,  HAVE TO TAKE THEM FOR 2 MONTHS AND THEN STOP (or fast taper). MAYBE THAN THEY WILL TAKE THE TIME TO  EVELUATE THEIR PATIENTS TO SEE IF THEY REALLY NEED THEM.....

 

AHHHH. That felt good....

 

 

They hand them out like smarties, it pi$$es me off too that’s they have little to no knowledge of the harm these drugs can do. I’ve washed my hands off my doctors, it’s pointless talking to them, as you’d either be put on something else or told to taper for a few weeks. 

[Mia1]

25 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

it’s pointless talking to them, as you’d either be put on something else or told to taper for a few weeks. 

Exactly, the medication would stop working and the solution would be go on more of the same drug or going on a different drug. Same merry go round for 20 years, it’s nice to step off!!

 

31 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

I love all these ambient soundscapes! They really help me relax.

That’s great, I’m happy it helps. I’m going to share my absolute favorite for healing and relaxing, Native American flute music, it’s transforming.

 

[Mia1]

Hi @GreatfulI tagged you on my thread but thought I’d stop by here too and say hello 😊

[Cheeky]

On 8/22/2021 at 6:59 AM, Greatful said:

am in a tough wave again.   Man I hate these waves.

Hang in there you know it will pass .

[Cheeky]

2 hours ago, Kat66 said:

They hand them out like smarties, it pi$$es me off too that’s they have little to no knowledge of the harm these drugs can do. I’ve washed my hands off my doctors, it’s pointless talking to them, as you’d either be put on something else or told to taper for a few weeks. 

This really makes you hate the  Big Pharma, all about money 💰. At least we know better, what about all the other people going through withdrawals and not knowing .

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @Cheeky. well.That is exactly what happened to me.It took one year and a half to understand the physical and mental hell i went through last year .At this point I am still recalling physical symptoms which I had never had before which I came to identify after reading stories here. I discovered this site last month so yes...I was one of those dealing with withdrawal without knowing anything about it. And,to make matters worse I went cold turkey.

[Cheeky]

2 hours ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Hi @Cheeky. well.That is exactly what happened to me.It took one year and a half to understand the physical and mental hell i went through last year .At this point I am still recalling physical symptoms which I had never had before which I came to identify after reading stories here. I discovered this site last month so yes...I was one of those dealing with withdrawal without knowing anything about it. And,to make matters worse I went cold turkey.

@Overwhelmedlady I’m so sorry to hear that, it did happen to me for 6 months, drs tried everY drug on me and found this website and reinstated my original drug with an added drug and all was good . I’m sorry for your suffering.

[Kat66]

9 hours ago, Mia1 said:

That’s great, I’m happy it helps. I’m going to share my absolute favorite for healing and relaxing, Native American flute music, it’s transforming.

 

Thanks @Mia1 I’ve never listened to this particular thing. Thanks for broadening my horizons x

[Kat66]

8 hours ago, Cheeky said:

 what about all the other people going through withdrawals and not knowing .

I know and there must be millions. I’m so glad I found this website, it’s better than any doctor I’ve been to.

[Kat66]

@Greatful how far into your recovery are you? You seem to be getting quite a few windows in amongst the waves…..

[Greatful]

@Kat66Well it depends where you want the time table to start.

I started tapering Prozac a year ago May June sometime...I thought I was doing slowly, but looking back I started to have some sighs that I should have slowed down in mid summer, then the everything broke lose in Nov.  That's when the drug merry- go- round started the winter was a nightmare and has been since....

 

7 hours ago, Kat66 said:

windows in amongst the waves…

I get a few small breaks here and there.  But the waves can be brutal.  Yeah, I am getting warn out.   I don't work in the summer and I am taking at least 12 weeks FMLA this fall.

 

I have a really good support member here on SA.  I lean on her hard sometimes.   Seriously, if I  didn't connect with SA I don't know where I would be.  I know we have to dig down deep inside us to find away to way to get through this, I do  have may faith I count on more then anything.  I have a wonderful supportive husband that keeps reinforcing that we are doing the right thing...I have children that are there for me. If I didn't have these things I am sure I would be a zoned out drugged up person....... I was a mess and still am,  but I see see some improvements, enough I guess to keep me going.  What choice do I have.  Somedays I just try to stay focused on making it through another day, that means one day closer to feeling better.  Looking to far ahead causes more depression then I already have.

 

We can do this, we lean on each other, find comfort that we are not alone, we all have pain, anger, fear, all the messy stuff that comes with WD,  but we also get to share the windows and how good it feels to see some sanity, and give hope that healing is taking place and will continue too.....❤️

 

Sorry I get long winded..............😊