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Greatful: Is this withdrawal or to many med changes at once


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  • Mentor

A little up date.

In a wave right now.  Not as bad as the last one.  Brain started getting intense earlier in the week and then tingling, buzzing more then normal. Then started the disconnected thinking, which then upped my social ocd parania, which then lead to increased anxiety and depression.  I also have been very dizzy the last few days.  It feels like a bowling ball rolling around my head when I move it and I get real dizzy.  I feel like a bobblehead.  

 

I so want to start tapering my Lexapro.  When will this brain stabilize.  So  discouraging. 

 

Then I find out how bad the stupid Trazodone is.  I suggested it because I was so desperate to sleep and I was on it before.  I didn't know it was so bad for you.  Now I will be tapering that at some point also......How did I end up on 4 meds in such a short time😡

 

I guess you have to find some humor......It is Saturday and I have to pack my pills for the week

I get my 2 large pill boxes, the pill bottles for each med that I Weigh and have the chips and dust in them, get my Lex, Xanax, Trazodone, Lamictal,  Vit c, L Theanine,  melatonin, get my pill cutter, razor, red envelope to cut on and my scale.    Sound like a fun time😄

 

So there is my rant.  Time to get back to healing and find my SISU‼️

 

Still Walking about 6 days a week, meditating, redirecting my thoughts, and I started to do some exposer/ response with my ocd or should I say my "I can't believe I worry about this crazy stuff" It doesn't even make any sense, this worry😰

 

All of us will prevail...................................

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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  • Mentor

@Mia1  I finally got my protein powder.  It will take some getting use to, it taste so much different then using yogurt.  I am going to only do 1/2 of a scoop for awhile to get use to the taste.  It has a ton of things in it.  Garden of Eden  Look it up and see what you think.   

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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Hey lovely, 

I hope this wave isn’t too bad for you and when you do stabilise  you can continue on your freedom of these drugs. Once I stabilise I will be joining your journey.

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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  • Mentor

@Mia1I had the name wrong.  The powder is "Garden of Life"   Organic raw plant based protein powder

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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  • Mentor

Hi @Grateful

Sorry to hear you have been thrown back into a wave, but good it’s a little bit better then your last one. 

30 minutes ago, Greatful said:

so want to start tapering my Lexapro.  When will this brain stabilize.  So  discouraging

I totally get what you mean, I have been there myself. 
Instead of focusing on your next taper, I find it helpful to shift the focus, and instead of constantly seeing my zero number, I try to see how far I have come and all the skills and learning experience I have gained along the way. You will get there, just remember to give your mind and body time to catch up with your thoughts 🙏

35 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Still Walking about 6 days a week, meditating, redirecting my thoughts, and I started to do some exposer/ response with my ocd

Your building up some great foundations there!

 

38 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Now I will be tapering that at some point also......How did I end up on 4 meds in such a short time

Don’t beat yourself up, take one day at a time. You have been doing what you thought was best for you at those particular times it’s only human.

You will get there, the two greatest warriors are patience and time 😉

All my best to you🙏

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

20/11 4.2

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  • Mentor

@Hanna72  Thanks for the encouragement.  Unfortunately the word patience has not always been in my vocabulary UGH.  Your right this is a time for me to learn about myself and deal with  things that should have been addressed years ago.  I tell my husband that I am working on things and trying to deal with W/D at the same time.  Who does that🤪

I really think has taken this w/d has pushed me into facing my issues.  It is kind of like hitting rock bottom you have to dig your way out.  Sink or swim

Thanks again.  It is nice to be heard.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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17 hours ago, Greatful said:

n a wave right now.  Not as bad as the last one.

This is actually good news, maybe it’s an indication your waves are going to become less intense now each time. And I’ll be curious to see if they last as long. You are definitely healing.

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

guess you have to find some humor.....

Great attitude and helps so much through the journey. I imagine you with all your paraphernalia 😂

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

find my SISU‼️

You certainly have it, that’s for sure!!

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

I started to do some exposer/ response with my ocd or should I say my "I can't believe I worry about this crazy stuff" It doesn't even make any sense, this worry😰

Do you mind me asking what kind of exposure work you’re doing?

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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16 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1I had the name wrong.  The powder is "Garden of Life"   Organic raw plant based protein powder

I’m going to take a look at this later, don’t think I ever tried it. I appreciate you following up with me on this.

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

@Mia1  It's mainly going out in public more, stores etc. My neighbors were outside on the deck that faces my house, I was coming home from my walk, normally I would have looked down and pretended I didn't notice them, but I felt I could  pushed myself to go  over and talked to them for a few minutes.  I was surprised that I didn't panic or have extreme anxiety. 

( I am not even going to tell you my phobia about talking to or being around people are, way to embarrassed)  I was ready to put up with the anxiety and sit with it. I am using floating or redirecting my thoughts.  I also remind myself the phobia is completely groundless, I have to get past the what if's and turn it all over to God.  Usually with time anxiety will come down. I might dwell on it for awhile😆 The hard part is to keep putting myself in the situations a little at a time.  I do know that mornings are hard for me all around, low mood, restlessness, ruminating, disconnected thinking, so I try to do these things mid morning or later in the day.  If your brain don't work it is hard to focus.

I have gone to Casco, Home depot, local grocery store. This last week

Today I went to church and out to The cheesecake factory for lunch.  Today's outing for lunch went much better then when I went to Olive Garden a few weeks ago. 

I hope to try something small everyday.  This ocd can almost break me. 

 

I'm coming to realize that a lot of it comes from my trauma when I was little, my brain was not developed enough to sort out the things going on at home so, by things being out of control in my world I developed thinking I needed to be perfect and to the extreme.   It has morphed with the W/D . I now know that the irrational learned thoughts came from a underdeveloped and frightened mind/brain.  Now the key is to let the little girls untrue beliefs go and  trust in God.  Not easy, but will keep going and learning how to move forward.   I am also hoping that as my brain settles down more rationality will return. I am still a progress in the making🤪

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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50 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I was coming home from my walk, normally I would have looked down and pretended I didn't notice them, but I felt I could  pushed myself to go  over and talked to them for a few minutes.  I was surprised that I didn't panic or have extreme anxiety.

This is a really big deal and shows how much you are healing physically and emotionally. You can really tell you’re putting the work in, keep it up!!🎉💪

 

50 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I'm coming to realize that a lot of it comes from my trauma when I was little, my brain was not developed enough to sort out the things going on at home so, by things being out of control in my world I developed thinking I needed to be perfect and to the extreme.   It has morphed with the W/D . I now know that the irrational learned thoughts came from a underdeveloped and frightened mind/brain.  Now the key is to let the little girls untrue beliefs go and  trust in God

Yes, this was absolutely the case with me as well. And it’s funny because I’ve been on this journey of w/d and spiritual/personal growth for about 16 months now. I have read all manner of books, listened to so many spiritual teachers, learned so many techniques and coping skills and what I can honestly say is that there is actually nothing you need to do except trust in God. Everything is truly perfect in this present moment, it’s our minds that prevent us from seeing this. It’s our thoughts that trick us.

When we truly trust in God’s plan for us and understand that everything is an opportunity for us to grow then we can accept anything, we can let go of our perceived problems. We only need to be present in our lives. It’s ironic because it’s incredibly simple but yet it took me so long to figure it out and trust it. I’m so happy you get this, you’re about to start advanced healing, get ready!!

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

@Mia1  I was reading on nomorelexapro's  thread and he mentioned NDRS have you heard of this.?

I looked it up and found this site  "Dynamic Neural Retraining Systems"    

 

By the way you bring tears to my eyes,  Thank you for sharing this journey with me ☺️

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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2 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1  It's mainly going out in public more, stores etc. My neighbors were outside on the deck that faces my house, I was coming home from my walk, normally I would have looked down and pretended I didn't notice them, but I felt I could  pushed myself to go  over and talked to them for a few minutes.  I was surprised that I didn't panic or have extreme anxiety. 

( I am not even going to tell you my phobia about talking to or being around people are, way to embarrassed)  I was ready to put up with the anxiety and sit with it. I am using floating or redirecting my thoughts.  I also remind myself the phobia is completely groundless, I have to get past the what if's and turn it all over to God.  Usually with time anxiety will come down. I might dwell on it for awhile😆 The hard part is to keep putting myself in the situations a little at a time. 

 

Hey Greatful! Been thinking about you the last days. It’s so good to hear that you are not only having improvements but you are also very aware of them and monitoring them. I also have had this anxiety attack when talking to people. It’s more rare now but still there. I noticed your opinion on “ putting myself in the situations a little at a time”. Well, that’s not the case for me. I started working again after 1,5 year due to COVID. And my job requires too much social interaction as well as physical struggle. I cannot avoid it, as I am financially responsible for myself. How are you managing that “a little at a time”? Could you spread some wisdom? Again, so happy to see that you’re “sitting” with panic. Acceptance is key 🌼

28 October 2020: escitalopram(Cipralex) 0,5mg & Xanax 0,75 mg

5 December 2020: updosed Cipralex at 10 mg and lowered Xanax to 0,5mg

January 2021: Cipralex still on 10mg, Xanax 0,25mg 

2 February 2021: Cipralex updosed at 20mg   for about 2 weeks, Xanax cold-turkeyed 

18 February 2021: Cipralex lowered from 20mg to  15-to 10-to 5 in 5-6 weeks

Completely drug free since 17/03/2021

Currently taking Magnesium(1 pill per day) and Onega 3(3 capsules per day 1800mgEPA, 450mgDHA)

Practicing yoga, reiki, meditation and acceptance.

Fully functional but not healed 

 

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  • Mentor

@Selfhealer   Thank you so much, your support it brings a warm feeling to my heart♥️

I had to suffer through work in one of the worst of my WD from the about mid Feb until the first part of June.  It really hit when I  ct'd Seroquel in mid March.  That was when I was almost delusional that was horrendous.  There were days I would come home in a absolute mess. I thought many times the only way out was......  My brain was so disconnected and the panic😰  I don't know how I made it through it.  All I can say is, God gave the strength. 

 

How is it going for you? Sounds like you are handling it well?  Did you have social anxiety before WD or did it come on as a symptom?  How is the air hunger going?

 

I hope that a little at a time will be the ticket as I wait for my BRAIN to function right.  Even the little at a time is hard.  But I can't live in avoidance forever, that makes me feel depressed and lose hopeful for the future.  It has affected my life so much. In the fall I might take some FMLA. ( I think it stand for Family medical leave act)  As a law here, you can request some time off.  My therapist will fill out the paper work.  I have a lot of sick time saved up.  We will see how I feel in about a month.  

 

As for the acceptance, well that is a work in progress.  I still feel the impatience to feel better and get off these drugs. 

 

We will persevere💥  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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8 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Selfhealer   Thank you so much, your support it brings a warm feeling to my heart♥️

I had to suffer through work in one of the worst of my WD from the about mid Feb until the first part of June.  It really hit when I  ct'd Seroquel in mid March.  That was when I was almost delusional that was horrendous.  There were days I would come home in a absolute mess. I thought many times the only way out was......  My brain was so disconnected and the panic😰  I don't know how I made it through it.  All I can say is, God gave the strength. 

 

 

Your support warms my heart,too. ❤️ I see other members here having to quit their jobs to manage all this WD hell. I mean… maybe I should quit and get this remote job, working from home that I have been offered at a call center. 🤷🏼‍♀️

28 October 2020: escitalopram(Cipralex) 0,5mg & Xanax 0,75 mg

5 December 2020: updosed Cipralex at 10 mg and lowered Xanax to 0,5mg

January 2021: Cipralex still on 10mg, Xanax 0,25mg 

2 February 2021: Cipralex updosed at 20mg   for about 2 weeks, Xanax cold-turkeyed 

18 February 2021: Cipralex lowered from 20mg to  15-to 10-to 5 in 5-6 weeks

Completely drug free since 17/03/2021

Currently taking Magnesium(1 pill per day) and Onega 3(3 capsules per day 1800mgEPA, 450mgDHA)

Practicing yoga, reiki, meditation and acceptance.

Fully functional but not healed 

 

Link to comment
1 minute ago, Selfhealer said:
Edited by Selfhealer
Mistake comment 😂

28 October 2020: escitalopram(Cipralex) 0,5mg & Xanax 0,75 mg

5 December 2020: updosed Cipralex at 10 mg and lowered Xanax to 0,5mg

January 2021: Cipralex still on 10mg, Xanax 0,25mg 

2 February 2021: Cipralex updosed at 20mg   for about 2 weeks, Xanax cold-turkeyed 

18 February 2021: Cipralex lowered from 20mg to  15-to 10-to 5 in 5-6 weeks

Completely drug free since 17/03/2021

Currently taking Magnesium(1 pill per day) and Onega 3(3 capsules per day 1800mgEPA, 450mgDHA)

Practicing yoga, reiki, meditation and acceptance.

Fully functional but not healed 

 

Link to comment
Just now, Selfhealer said:

 

As you can see I still can’t understand how the comment section works! Haha! I’ll answer everything else here. 
 

Bo, I didn’t have social anxiety before. On the contrary, I’ve always been a very sociable, outgoing person. It’s not easy to see yourself change like that.  As for the air hunger- I think I was in a window some days ago. It lasted about a week and it was awesome! The air hunger was there but nothing as it is right now. I am probably in a wave now. But, I am noticing as time passes that waves get “easier” and windows get longer. Today I experience some kind of tightness inside my throat. Like the muscles  are shore or something like that. Weird WD!

 

I wish I could take that FMLA! That would be so helpful! I wish you get that and have less things to worry about and pamper yourself ☺️

28 October 2020: escitalopram(Cipralex) 0,5mg & Xanax 0,75 mg

5 December 2020: updosed Cipralex at 10 mg and lowered Xanax to 0,5mg

January 2021: Cipralex still on 10mg, Xanax 0,25mg 

2 February 2021: Cipralex updosed at 20mg   for about 2 weeks, Xanax cold-turkeyed 

18 February 2021: Cipralex lowered from 20mg to  15-to 10-to 5 in 5-6 weeks

Completely drug free since 17/03/2021

Currently taking Magnesium(1 pill per day) and Onega 3(3 capsules per day 1800mgEPA, 450mgDHA)

Practicing yoga, reiki, meditation and acceptance.

Fully functional but not healed 

 

Link to comment

Hi Greatful, I just read you had a tough day, I’m so sorry. I’m here for you if you want to chat ❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Selfhealer If you think it would help in your healing, work from home.  Right now you need to take care of yourself.♥️ 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

Link to comment

I just noticed you are a Mentor, that’s AMAZING!!🎉

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment

@Greatful just wanted to let you know I’m here if you need any support. I understand how hard this is . We will all  go  through waves and windows  together.  It’s great your getting out of the house, I find walking in nature so comforting and I try to distract myself and do things. If I stay in my own I tend to feel every nerve in my body that leads to panic. Your doing great 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to comment

Wanted to stop by and see how you are feeling today.

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@mia Still feeling under the weather, but not as deep as yesterday.  Still having really bad brain numbness, sore spots, eyes site feel a little off. If I could only pop my head to let the pressure out.

Meditated to the Chronic pain this morning.  I really liked it Thank You😊

 

I did my Exposer/ Response today even though my brain is hurting and feels numb .  (Sometimes I wonder if I should be driving).  Went to Menards to look at bathroom vanity tops.

I even talked to 3 sales clerks and helped a customer.  YAH.  I didn't buy  the vanity but did buy more bird food for my furry  friends that visit me when I am sitting on my front porch in my patio recliner.🙃 My brain was not to happy about all the stimulation.  But I can't live in fear forever and the only way is to get out there and face it.  My head is really heavy and wobbly, dizzy.

I am going to tell myself that the tight knot in the front of my brain is healing and that is where your feeling emotions are, so that is why I feel so sad and gloomy😞.

 

I am going to jump over to your site to see how you are doing.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

Link to comment
17 hours ago, Greatful said:

Still feeling under the weather, but not as deep as yesterday. 

I’m happy to hear you’re feeling a bit better, let me know how you are doing today.

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

Meditated to the Chronic pain this morning

Let me know if you feel this is helping the symptoms at all.

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

did my Exposer/ Response today even though my brain is hurting and feels numb .  (Sometimes I wonder if I should be driving).  Went to Menards to look at bathroom vanity tops.

You’re a rock star, seriously. Do make sure you’re safe to drive. On the days I feel very dizzy I don’t drive. It’s not often but we have to be careful!!

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

but did buy more bird food for my furry  friends that visit me when I am sitting on my front porch in my patio recliner.🙃 

I LOVE this, what a great way to connect ❤️

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

But I can't live in fear forever and the only way is to get out there and face it. 

And this is how you become fearless 💪🎉

 

17 hours ago, Greatful said:

I am going to tell myself that the tight knot in the front of my brain is healing and that is where your feeling emotions are, so that is why I feel so sad and gloomy

This is true, we have so much extra activity in our brain from healing. It’s good to remind yourself what’s happening. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment

Hello lovely lady @Greatful I hope you feeling some relief. Sending you 🤗 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Cheeky  Thanks for stopping by.  I am doing okay.  I had a really crazy experience on my walk today.  First I woke up feeling very off,  Didn't want to get out of bed, I had to take a med so I got up and thought I have to lay back down so full of fatigue and feeling really off.  Anyway forced myself up to go for my walk, still wobble.  I didn't do the whole walk because my legs felt weak and my right leg felt like a wet noddle, my legs felt like they were moving kind of like on there own, not me moving them. Then my right leg started to feel bigger and heavier then the left and I was feeling really disconnected to myself. I don't know, it is hard to explain  I didn't have my phone with so I didn't feel real safe.

Made it home, sitting on my chair outside with my computer, very dizzy, head flopping around on my shoulders and arms and legs very weak.  Not sure is this D/R or D/P not sure what they actually are.  All I know is these  meds do a bang up job on our brains.

 

How was your day?  I suppose it is night time for you now and day time for me

Back at you🤗

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

Link to comment

I was stopping by to see how you are doing. I’m sorry you are having a difficult day. I’m happy you are listening to your body though, knowing your limits and resting in nature. Sounds peaceful and healing.

It does sound like you are having dp/dr along with other w/d symptoms. When I experience dp/dr I don’t feel quite real, almost like I’m in a dream. It’s like an altered state from my brain trying to balance without the drug, does that make sense?

 I look at every day like an adventure because I never know what lessons I’ll be learning 😂🤔

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  Thanks for stopping by.  I am doing okay.  I had a really crazy experience on my walk today.  First I woke up feeling very off,  Didn't want to get out of bed, I had to take a med so I got up and thought I have to lay back down so full of fatigue and feeling really off.  Anyway forced myself up to go for my walk, still wobble.  I didn't do the whole walk because my legs felt weak and my right leg felt like a wet noddle, my legs felt like they were moving kind of like on there own, not me moving them. Then my right leg started to feel bigger and heavier then the left and I was feeling really disconnected to myself. I don't know, it is hard to explain  I didn't have my phone with so I didn't feel real safe.

Made it home, sitting on my chair outside with my computer, very dizzy, head flopping around on my shoulders and arms and legs very weak.  Not sure is this D/R or D/P not sure what they actually are.  All I know is these  meds do a bang up job on our brains.

 

How was your day?  I suppose it is night time for you now and day time for me

Back at you🤗

It was awful when you get a feeling that you haven’t had before. I think these drugs effect everything. I’ve had vibrations run through my body and tremors and just feel very sensitive to everything. It’s just annoying now. I think I’m better this week then last though.

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to comment

Hi @Greatfulhow are you feeling today? 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Mia1  Symptoms are a little better I took 400mg of Avil.  I want to cut off this heavy dysfunctional brain.  I need your help,  I am having a hard time getting pass the negative thoughts. My brain doesn't want to think right.  I can tell myself to accept the anxiety and that it won't kill me but the heavy feeling in my body and brain and the depressive thoughts I am having a hard time accepting.  It scares me. It feeds into my feelings of unworthiness.   Then add into the mix D/R were you feel like you can't connect with the world and my husband. Do you get depressed if so what do you tell yourself to help you accept it.  I have had times were the depression is in the way back ground and I think okay maybe I can do this or I am not clinically depressed and I will be able to heal myself and except myself as  a worthy human being.  But they are short lived and I get warn down by the days and  days of heaviness.  

 

I am so sick of "How am I going to feel my day thoughts". Healing from your past and W/d is traumatizing on it's own. 🥵  Oh yea, when you think of a neg thought about yourself do you counter act it with a positive one or do you just accept the thought.  This acceptance and at the same time self love are confusing.  I don't know what I am suppose to do  

 

I start chasing my tail, what did I change that is causing this wave to go on forever,  Let's see I started the new protein powder,  I got a different brand of L Theanine  (recommend by a member on a thread I read) the one I picked out  is 50mg less then my old one and I changed my Omega 3 to a different brand because the new one has more DHA & EPA which is recommended.   

Then I wonder, do I start to taper at 1% of my Lexapro, maybe that is causing so much brain zapping and all the other brain sensations.  And is it activating me to much ( it did when I started it, made my brain speed up).  I sound like all the other frantic members trying to find their way out. 

 

I can say I have been working on my ocd paranoia.  I guess that is a good thing.  Things are improving there.  Not as fast as I would like.  Maybe when I get that under control more, I will be able to socialize and it will help with the other W/D stuff, getting out more which would keep me more busy.

I suppose I should stop with the rant.  Any thing you can tell me in detail what I can say to myself and what to do. 😊

I don't know am I suppose to post this kind of stuff?   I know positivity is what is empathized.  But this is no picnic. 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

Link to comment

@Greatfulwe’ll figure this out together. So let’s talk about your thoughts. During w/d these negative thoughts can be intense and frequent. We want to let them come and go with as little resistance as possible. So if you find yourself saying things like I don’t want to have these thoughts anymore, these thoughts depress me, etc. then be aware that these are also only thoughts and let it go. 

 

True acceptance means you are perfectly fine with how everything is in this moment. You don’t try to change anything or worry about how long it will last. You are fine. Your brain can do what it wants, you just observe what is happening. Keep bringing yourself back to the observer. You are the awareness of what’s happening, not what is actually happening.

 

I know this can seem impossible at times. Why would you want to accept feeling this way? Why would you want to accept thoughts that make you feel anxious and depressed?

 

Because by accepting yourself exactly as you are in this moment you will release the resistance. It will take away the anxiety and depression. These are being caused by your reaction to the thoughts, your reaction is causing the resistance. I know this is not easy. There are days I just have to accept my resistance and then that acceptance brings me a level of peace to make it until the next day.

 

I would say some positive affirmations throughout the day but don’t try to counter anything, that causes resistance. Remember, you are okay with everything. There is nothing you need to change because there are no problems. Your mind may be telling you there are problems and that they’re urgent but that’s not true. It’s just a thought you are observing. If you get caught up in the story step back and observe it. It’s just an experience you are having, nothing more. 

 

Ask yourself if I didn’t have these thoughts would I really have a problem? Spoiler, the answer is no. And I say it again, I know this is not easy at first. You are creating the space through meditation and mindfulness to  really see this. It will keep getting easier with time.

 

Our brain is not working properly right now, it is changing and healing everyday. This is where self love comes on. Accept yourself for how you are today. You are doing nothing wrong, you are doing everything you possibly can. Now you must let the rest go and know that God is taking care of you, because he is Greatful.

 

You are okay and this is only an experience you are having today. I’m asking God to let me carry some of your pain today. You’ve got this, you are perfect ❤️🙏

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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I wanted to add one more thing to keep it simple. So what should you do today with your symptoms? You acknowledge them (observe), you allow them to be there (non reactivity) and you give yourself permission to stop thinking about it. Every time you do think about it keep observing, allowing and refocusing. This will retrain your brain.

 

Please let me know how the rest of your day goes, thinking of you!!

 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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Sorry you've been struggling, @Greatful. I've been having trouble with not letting my thoughts get the best of me, too and just doing my best to let them be whatever they are without resisting, fighting, or trying to fix or correct or overlap them with something positive. It's such a challenge! But most of the time, it is at least a little bit easier than it used to be. It does get easier. ❤️ 

1990s Zoloft, Prozac, and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and NO W/D! Oh, to be young again... 

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017 & held, then tapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone 80mg (for heroin addiction;) decreased to 30mg 2016-2021

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off over 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper off Klonipin

2021 - Citalopram down to 12.8mg in April; July 11.52mg, August 10mg, Oct 9mg

Supplements: L-Tryptophan, 5-HTP, L-Tyrosine, vitamin D, magnesium, ashwagandha, phenibut, lion's mane mushroom, occasional CBD and/or GABA, assorted flower essences, occasional kratom

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  • Mentor

Hi @Greatful

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your mind and thoughts. I am sometimes there so I totally understand.

@Mia1 has given some great insight to practicing the present moment.

4 hours ago, Greatful said:

This acceptance and at the same time self love are confusing

I get it, I have found it confusing too.

I found first when I read about acceptance that it was supposed to be some kind of defeat and just accept myself feeling awful and not doing anything about it. In fact that’s not what it means. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action.

Surrender is a purely inner phenomenon. It does not mean that on the outer level you cannot take action and change the situation. In fact, it is not the overall situation that you need to accept when you surrender, but just the tiny segment called the Now.

For example, if you were stuck in the mud somewhere, you wouldn't say: "Okay, I resign myself to being stuck in the mud." Resignation is not surrender. You don't need to accept an undesirable or unpleasant life situation. Nor do you need to deceive yourself and say that there is nothing wrong with being stuck in the mud. No. You recognise fully that you want to get out of it. You then narrow your attention down to the present moment without mentally labeling it in any way. This means that there is no judgment of the Now. Therefore, there is no resistance, no emotional negativity. You accept the "isness" of this moment. Then you take action and do all that you can to get out of the mud. Such action is called positive action. It is far more effective than negative action, which arises out of anger, despair, or frustration. Until you achieve the desired result, you continue to practice surrender and acceptance by not labelling the present moment.
 

Hope this helps🙏

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

20/11 4.2

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  • Mentor

@Mia1 @Hanna72 @KittenLePurr  Thank you all for the encouragement and the helpful advice.  Now trying to keep it simple and implement it when my brain is half baked.  And years of neg and unhealthy coping skills.  It does seem funny that I am afraid of my thoughts and where the will lead me.  Trying to stop the thoughts before they send me down a the wrong fork in the road.  So basically my thoughts don't defined me?  I think I always thought that my thoughts were who I was. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin, Probiotic

Lexapro   09/01/2021  4.90mg  09/25  4.75mg  10/19 4.69mg  11/14 4.20mg

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Your thoughts don’t define you, rather you are the one who gives your thoughts the definition. You are the one in control, always. It will get better, remember that!!

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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