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Greatful: Is this withdrawal or to many med changes at once


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  • Mentor
Greatful

@getofflexThank you,  your response brought tears to my eyes.  It is nice to be heard.  This can be so painful and slow.

I think it will take the pressured off of me to finally make a decision about work.  I keep thinking I have to be strong and work.  And I am also worried what my co- workers will  say.  I hope they are not going to be privy to why I am taking FMLA.  I can't seem to stop taking it as a personal failure when it is WD.  I shouldn't be embarrassed or shameful.  To much neuro emotions UGH

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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@rubywednesday  Thank you, I really appreciate the kind words. Knowing that people who can relate and are ready to help out and offer words of kindness is heart warming.    I am hoping for s

@Greatful, good morning my friend. I have just completed this meditation and I found it really helpful! It reduced my anxiety from 8 to 4. Of course now it creeps back in but I am going to go do it ag

@DiscJockey I know that feeling so well. Your sitting there looking at everyone being happy and remembering how you use to feel . You try to be your old self but your dying inside. If your credit for

2 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@getofflexThank you,  your response brought tears to my eyes.  It is nice to be heard.  This can be so painful and slow.

I think it will take the pressured off of me to finally make a decision about work.  I keep thinking I have to be strong and work.  And I am also worried what my co- workers will  say.  I hope they are not going to be privy to why I am taking FMLA.  I can't seem to stop taking it as a personal failure when it is WD.  I shouldn't be embarrassed or shameful.  To much neuro emotions UGH

 

Your not a failure, your doing the best you can . I thinking  of you xx

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 

11 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

I fought this SO hard. I was literally like okay I’m done with this now I just want to feel well again.

 

 

Thank you for sharing that with me.  I makes me feel less alone.  It is so hard to be positive when it has been going on for so long.  I realize that I was  already experiencing WD from the Prozac sometime last summer.  If I only knew what I know now I would have stopped tapering and held until stabilized.  Maybe it is going the  way it was suppose to go so I am forced to dig deep and heal the festering wound.  Doesn't have to mean I like it though🤪  

 

You pretty much have been in WD from your MMJ too?

When we get through this we are going to meet up and head to the beach with KLP.

 

You are always there for me, it humbles me and warms my heart.❤️

If only I could do at least half of what you do for me💕

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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24 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Maybe it is going the  way it was suppose to go so I am forced to dig deep and heal the festering wound.  Doesn't have to mean I like it though🤪  

So powerful, I believe it with all my heart. I remember reading somewhere that whatever you’re going through that’s the lesson the universe (God) wants you to learn. It really helps to find a meaning in it.

 

26 minutes ago, Greatful said:

You pretty much have been in WD from your MMJ too?

When we get through this we are going to meet up and head to the beach with KLP.

For me the healing from MMJ was very linear and by last June I was already through the worst of it. However during this time I also ct’ed Ability (on for a month to help with MMJ w/d) AND went from 50 mg of Amitriptyline to 10 mg in 2 months. Then I ct’ed Lexapro this past November (on it for a month) and from January to April of this year tapered off the remaining 10 mg of Amitriptyline.

 

So a lot of changes and I have been in some form of w/d for about a year and a half. I have had a lot of windows along the way though, some lasting a month or more!! This is the actually the longest I’ve gone without even a small window. 

36 minutes ago, Greatful said:

When we get through this we are going to meet up and head to the beach with KLP.

I LOVE this, I have a feeling we’ll meet up sometime down the road.

 

37 minutes ago, Greatful said:

You are always there for me, it humbles me and warms my heart.❤️

If only I could do at least half of what you do for me💕

You are the one person I can rely on to check in on me and see how I am doing, it means the world to me to have your consistent support. So yeah, whatever I’m doing for you I’m definitely getting it back. Thank you ❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex
2 hours ago, Greatful said:

And I am also worried what my co- workers will  say

Try not to be concerned what they think.  They don't understand what you are doing through.  No one who hasn't been through this has any idea.  

 

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

I can't seem to stop taking it as a personal failure when it is WD.

It is a failure of the doctors and healthcare system.  This is not your fault.  But I can see how it would be easy to feel ashamed of going through WD.  That is a stigma the world puts on people, but we don't have to take that on.  I know it's easier said than done.  Thankfully, I'm retired, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.  You can always return to work when you feel better.  Going through rough times builds our inner character, and you will be a stronger wiser teacher when you do go back.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone nightly, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@getofflex  You made me chuckle.   I'm in the food service,( HA, HA, I'm a lunch lady in the High School kitchen).  I think you are around my age, did you call them the lunch lady? This is my 20th year, I would tell one of my co-workers we can make it to 20 years and then quit.  Will see if I even go back😰  I really wanted to make 20!

 

Oh well one day at a time, right.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex

Oh I see.  Hey I was the lunch lady at one time too, when my son was in the 8th grade.  😆

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone nightly, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@getofflex Good Afternoon.  You are a mod and I would like some advice.  I have quite a drug history.  Most of the mess started in 2014,  I really don't think I have fully stabilized since then.  Last winter is when the most recent drug  mess took place.  My husband and I are wondering if the Lexapro is still causing side affects.  I had a very bad reaction to the start up and had to fast taper down to 5mg( started 4/2 at 5mg taper up to 10mg back down to 5mg 5/16)  Doc wanted me to jump off, I looked for advice on SA and Gridley told me to hold. ( to many drug changes and I had been on it a month by then)  It messed with my brain right away, Was barely functional nausea, increased anxiety,  I do know that some of this could still be withdrawal from Prozac last fall. And these other drugs.

Zoloft 12/2/2020 to 1/11/ 2021

Seroquel 5omg to 150 2/16/2021 ---ct'd on 3/23/2021

We are wondering if it is too soon to try a 1% or 2% cut?

I know that I am not as stable as I would like to be  going through big depression, panic and anxiety( but I have been fighting this since I tapering Prozac down to 3mg.  It comes and goes, never all the way gone. That and my panic, anxiety and my  phobia that started after the ct of Seroquel, are what worry me the most with cutting now.  We are hoping that it dropping down on the lex will help the nausea, no appetite and the increased anxiety and panic that is in my brain.  Are we wishful thinking?  I was thinking about Sept.1st.  If there is anything positive is I have been seeing more of me peaking out if that makes sense?

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

You’ve had a lot of different drug changes in the last year so I don’t really know what’s causing the issue. I don’t have a lot of experience with multiple drug tapers. How do you feel before and then after you take the Lexapro? You could try doing a daily drug and symptom journal and see if there are any patterns. Also make notes of your eating sleeping exercise etc.

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone nightly, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

Link to post

Hey lovely,

how are you ? Thinking of you ❤️

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  @Cheeky

 I got the paperwork to take FMLA this fall.  I just know with the ups and downs of WD I could not handle the job.  My morning are usually a struggle and if I get any break during the day, activity sends my brain into a blistering mess.  I am not use to accepting my limitations.  All my life I would push myself  through and pretend that I was fine.   I guess things are a little different when it comes to WD.  I also had my meeting yesterday with my therapist and I am realizing that I am dealing with a lot of self healing right now too.  I told K  (husband) that maybe it is time for me to take care of myself.  The down side of this FMLA is I thought we were going to be using my acute WD as my reason, but M (my therapist) will be using my emotional illness.  She is not educated in WD.( I should have told her YEA, like the doctor are educated in WD) She does believe the issues is WD but she can't use it.  I am a little upset by this.  Who wants to use the stigma of mental illness.  She claims no one will know, just that I am out on a medical issue.  We will go over what she is going to say on the application at our appt. next week.  She said I will have to trust her. 

 

How are you doing today?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post
5 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Mia1  @Cheeky

 I got the paperwork to take FMLA this fall.  I just know with the ups and downs of WD I could not handle the job.  My morning are usually a struggle and if I get any break during the day, activity sends my brain into a blistering mess.  I am not use to accepting my limitations.  All my life I would push myself  through and pretend that I was fine.   I guess things are a little different when it comes to WD.  I also had my meeting yesterday with my therapist and I am realizing that I am dealing with a lot of self healing right now too.  I told K  (husband) that maybe it is time for me to take care of myself.  The down side of this FMLA is I thought we were going to be using my acute WD as my reason, but M (my therapist) will be using my emotional illness.  She is not educated in WD.( I should have told her YEA, like the doctor are educated in WD) She does believe the issues is WD but she can't use it.  I am a little upset by this.  Who wants to use the stigma of mental illness.  She claims no one will know, just that I am out on a medical issue.  We will go over what she is going to say on the application at our appt. next week.  She said I will have to trust her. 

 

How are you doing today?

I happy your going to give yourself a break from work, this could be a good time to work on yourself and heal . 
 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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42 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I got the paperwork to take FMLA this fall.

I think this is such great news, the work you’re doing on yourself is the most important work you can do right now.

 

44 minutes ago, Greatful said:

All my life I would push myself  through and pretend that I was fine. 

This was totally me, always pushing everything down and just being in survival mode. I’m glad we don’t have to pretend anymore. 

 

46 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I am a little upset by this.  Who wants to use the stigma of mental illness.  She claims no one will know, just that I am out on a medical issue.  We will go over what she is going to say on the application at our appt. next week.  She said I will have to trust her. 

I understand and I’m sorry about this, especially since you’re not mentally ill. I do know FMLA is very confidential though so no one is going to find out. I’m really glad you have that therapist, she seems to really care about you.

 

50 minutes ago, Greatful said:

How are you doing today?

I came to a realization today that I’m not in w/d but recovering from a temporary brain injury caused by the drugs. It makes so much sense, why my brain is so activated, why I have neuro emotions, why I randomly feel terror and why it takes so long to heal and why healing isn’t linear. This is what’s happening. I don’t know why but even the understanding makes me feel better it’s taking so long.

 

Hope you have a great evening 😊

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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Also @Greatfulif you get a chance watch the self compassion video I linked you on today, it’s so healing. So much useful and practical information. 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 

9 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

I came to a realization today that I’m not in w/d but recovering from a temporary brain injury caused by the drugs.

Thank you, thank you,  thank you, You made me chuckle.  We can still find our sense of humor in the middle of this BRAIN INJURY🤪

 

11 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

This was totally me, always pushing everything down and just being in survival mode. I’m glad we don’t have to pretend anymore. 

 

I feel a sense of relief.  Yes, I can stop the endless running and find myself.  

 

15 minutes ago, Mia1 said:

I’m really glad you have that therapist, she seems to really care about you.

She can be no nonsense sometimes but I need that.  I'll tell you a little story

For a long time I was so angry at my parents.  She would try the usual therapy things like yes it was bad but your parents did the best they could with who they were.  Trying to let go off the angry is hard, so I would keep bring it up.   Finally she said Your parent didn't say" let's have a bunch of kids and see how we can F..........them up".  Boy that struck me more than all the nice blah,blah ,blah,  It made me realize that the are human and their intension wasn't to mess me up.  It is what it is.    Does that make sense.  Anyway it is helping me let it go.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post

Hey  @Greatful

how are you lovely?

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Cheeky

As you know it is morning for me, so I feel like I am drowning.  I have been really dizzy, the crazy thing is I'll be symptoms keep shifting and moving around during the day.

 

How are you doing?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post
Just now, Greatful said:

@Cheeky

As you know it is morning for me, so I feel like I am drowning.  I have been really dizzy, the crazy thing is I'll be symptoms keep shifting and moving around during the day.

 

How are you doing?

I really hate reading all these beautiful people suffering daily, I just wish we could get some help. I had a bad day today , morning aniexty and just felt nervously uncomfortable all day . I layed down today and felt my chest tighten up and my heart beating out of my chest, it really scared me. I had a good cry in the shower and by this evening I feel better. It’s the waves of hell and windows of peace. I’m just trying to accept this but the more I read about this the more I worry. This just sucks , it steels  your life from you and there nothing we can do. 
God give us strength 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post
9 minutes ago, Greatful said:

have been really dizzy, the crazy thing is I'll be symptoms keep shifting and moving around during the day.

They can change by the hour. The dizzy spells are hard, I get them with the head pressure 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post
1 hour ago, Greatful said:

As you know it is morning for me, so I feel like I am drowning.  I have been really dizzy, the crazy thing is I'll be symptoms keep shifting and moving around during the day.

I’m sorry your mornings are so tough, do you have anything fun planned today? 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1 I took a shower and sobbed and now I am going to go to church. I am hoping getting out of the house will change my state of mind and maybe go out for lunch.  Mia1 the inner child doesn't want to accept how I feel and that I have brain injury.  Then there is the strong me that tries, the endless battle is so tiring.  I need to have compassion for myself, I started to read kenaA thread again and he fought it up until 10 months,  so I have time... I see from what I have read, that you will have to hit a certain point before  you finally decide to give in and accept😰

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post

I do think getting out and getting your mind off it can help, I hope you have a good day today.

 

  I remember reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now and he mentions that a person will continue to suffer unless they are truly ready to stop. I remember feeling so outraged like who the hell wants to suffer, what is he talking about?? It was only after I just couldn’t take it anymore did I finally accept my situation because I wanted peace so much more than anything else. I didn’t even care if I never got better, I just wanted peace. It was only at this point I was able to accept.

 

 I never would have understood this at the time so I know how difficult acceptance can be, it took me eight long painful months before I could do it. I still have many moments where I don’t accept it but once you are able to truly accept that first time it gets easier to do and you can keep going deeper into it. 

 

You are getting there @Greatful hang in there ❤️

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1

6 hours ago, Mia1 said:

 I remember reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now and he mentions that a person will continue to suffer unless they are truly ready to stop.

Are his books easier to get through?  I tried to  watch a couple of his videos on youtube and it about me drove nuts.  He talks so slow and pauses for so long.  Sometimes what he was saying felt like garble.  Didn't make sense.  A lot of people seem to like him, maybe his books would be a better fit for me?

 

We did go to church, out for lunch, stopped at home depot, things were going okay but I pushed it to hard again.  Going to home depot sent me over the cliff again.  To much stimulation and being around so many people for to many hours.  UGH. 

 

How was your day?

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post
2 hours ago, Greatful said:

A lot of people seem to like him, maybe his books would be a better fit for me?

I have to say I honestly didn’t understand a lot of this stuff in the beginning either. I only read The Power of Now by him, I found it helpful and it wasn’t difficult to understand. I would recommend you read it at some point but the book I would really recommend is the one I was telling you about a little while back, A Book on Fear by Lawrence Doochin. It’s basically a spiritual book on healing trauma, the author himself had a lot of childhood trauma. It’s simple but profound. It’s NOT about COVID although he uses it as an example from time to time.

 

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

To much stimulation and being around so many people for to many hours.  UGH. 

Yes, the balance can be tricky. Sounds like you had a nice day overall though.

 

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

How was your day?

I had a really nice day, thanks for asking. Went on a nature walk with hubby and then went to my in laws for dinner. Quiet, which I love. Realized today that really my biggest w/d symptom is OCD which manifests itself in so many different ways. It’s another validation that what I’m experiencing is brain trauma. I just remember that when I accept uncomfortable physical sensations, as well as intrusive unwelcome thoughts, without doing anything to change them, I’m well on my way to recovery.

 

Well we made it through another week and learned more than we did the week before. We’re getting closer to being healed and have more resiliency then when we started. I’d say we’re not doing so bad, right?

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Mentor
Colonial
13 hours ago, Greatful said:

the inner child doesn't want to accept how I feel and that I have brain injury.  Then there is the strong me that tries, the endless battle is so tiring.  I need to have compassion for myself, I started to read kenaA thread again and he fought it up until 10 months,  so I have time... I see from what I have read, that you will have to hit a certain point before  you finally decide to give in and accept

 

I think a part of it is fear.

That if we accept the truth of Our brain damage we "loose control" of Our situation.

We sort of know we are not in control or we could fix ourselves but to truly admit it fully?

It seems a different type of "knowing".

I think for some it is based in childhood trauma and not having the ability to protect oneself.

I see for myself there are certain issues in life harder for Me to accept and their linked back to that.

And those issues aren't as detrimental as my WD damage which I don't have a hard time accepting.

Things I have a harder time accepting seem silly compared to this but there's a childhood emotional link.

 

 

 

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/29/21: 0.20mgs

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Colonial  Thank you for your thoughts on this crazy crud that floats around in our heads.

The hard part is trying to stay sane.  With everything so jumbled up between the wd and emotional trauma, it is hard to work through them at the same time.  Your right fear plays a big roll in everything.  If we could really accept we have nothing to fear, we would be so much more at peace in our lives.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post

Hi @Greatful,

hows your morning been? 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@cheeky

Are you still up?

It is a little better.  Can't get motived to go on my walk.  I was just about to drag myself off of my chair and go when I saw your post.

 

How was your day?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

Link to post
Surviving82

@Greatful, good morning my friend. I have just completed this meditation and I found it really helpful! It reduced my anxiety from 8 to 4. Of course now it creeps back in but I am going to go do it again. You may also find other meditations from these people helpful, one of them is the "elevator to your subconscious mind" that I mentioned yesterday. Here is the meditation: 

 

I am still pretty unfocused during my meditations, but I am getting better (I hope lol:))) As @Mia1 said, there is no right or wrong way to do it, you just do it. This meditation specifically calls for staying with the uncomfortable feeling for some time and get used it, simply let it be. That resonated with me. I hope that you find it helpful as well. Let me know if you like it. Sending both of us and everyone else positive vibes of peace and healing!

My thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24990-surviving82-my-story-wd-from-antidepressants-please-help/

2016-2017: sertraline for approx. 1.5 years for anxiety and OCD outbreak following birth of my son (all the way from 2mg to 200mg), rapid tapered from 150mg for about 6 weeks without issues. Approximately 2 years psych drug free.

 

Nov 2019 - Feb 2020: fluvoxamine to prevent anxiety/OCD outbreak following birth of my daughter. Had to go off due to constant somnolence.

Feb 2020 - Dec 2020: started escitalopram while rapid tapering fluvoxamine. After 9 months decided to get off due to weight gain, rapid tapered from [I think] 15mg for about 6 weeks without immediate issues.

March-April 2021: started excessive strenuous exercise and dieting regimen for weight loss. Was doing great (or so I thought) for 3 weeks until early April 2021 when out of nowhere massive panic attacks, other dysautonomia symptoms. AWFUL CRASH.   

Mid-April 2021: fluoxetine 10mg for 1 week then 20mg for 1 week. Massive side effects, suicidality. Was told to go CT. Side effects gradually started resolving.

Mid-Late May 2021: sertraline for 11 days, fine at low doses but same side effects as prozac at 25 to 50mg. Was told to either drop CT or hold at 1/4 of a 25mg pill. 

April-May 2021: trazodone 50mg PRN for sleep. Do not take every day, the only side effect I noticed is dry mouth.

June 8, 2021: stopped all psych meds. Truing to trust that with God's help, my body will heal on its own. 

September 9, 2021: reinstated escitalopram 1mg. Gradually worked up to 2.5mg by September 30. Reinstatement seems to be helping!

Other: Hashimoto thyroiditis for 11 years (on levothyroxine varying doses, between 88mcg and 125mcg), history of anxiety/GAD including health anxiety, OCD. History of autonomic dysfunction (migraines, vasovagal episodes).

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Surviving82

1 hour ago, Surviving82 said:

I am still pretty unfocused during my meditations, but I am getting better (I hope lol:))

Hey I have good days and days that I struggle, but we need to do it everyday, practice, practice, practice.  I also figure if it doesn't go well at least I am resting my body.  I lay down when I do mine.

I will take a look at the meditation.  Thank you!

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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Hi @Greatful wanted to stop by and see how you are doing 

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Mia1  Good morning.  I am feeling better.  I think this is one of the calmest mornings I've had it months.  My normal morning depression and feeling of despair is very lightly under the surface.  I think I am still on the constant alert.  Waiting for the thoughts that will make me feel bad to start or when the other shoe will fall. Because of that I still have the underlining need to run feeling. WD symptoms are still there but a little more mellow right now.  Yesterday was another one of those days were I went back and forth with strong ocd, feeling some acceptance then the fear and panic would attack, some brain disconnect, moods all over the place, sad, restless, some anger, but not to extreme the usually brain sensations but I think I handled them a pretty good.   I was able to apply some of the new skills I have been learning. Changing the way I look at things  I really have been jumping from my inner child patterns then back to healthier coping skills. 

 

I hope I don't get hit with a huge wave............It is so nice to feel a little calm....and not so depressed and full of despair.

 

 Your analogy of feeding the monster ( I also watch part of a ocd video on the feeding the monster) has really helped me with the ocd.  It feels like I am taking back some of the power it has over me. I can also use  turn it all over to God. 

 

What are your plans today?

 

Your you getting my pm's? ☺️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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10 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Good morning.  I am feeling better.  I think this is one of the calmest mornings I've had it months.

This is SO good to hear, you really deserve this. Savor every moment!!

 

11 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I hope I don't get hit with a huge wave............It is so nice to feel a little calm....and not so depressed and full of despair.

I know what you mean but remember that when we become scared of anything we empower it. Remind yourself it’s just part of recovery and it is never going to be as bad as it is now because you know now how to taper

 

19 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Your analogy of feeding the monster ( I also watch part of a ocd video on the feeding the monster) has really helped me with the ocd.  It feels like I am taking back some of the power it has over me. I can also use  turn it all over to God. 

I’m glad it helped, it has helped me as well. You really do take away the power by not feeding it. It’s great to hear you’re doing so well, I really am happy for you. I know it can feel like the progress happens so slowly but you are guaranteed success when you put the work in. So keep up the good work!!

 

24 minutes ago, Greatful said:

What are your plans today?

I was pretty busy yesterday so I plan to just do things around the house and go on a nature walk, how about you?

 

24 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Your you getting my pm's? ☺️

No I haven’t got anything, send it again so I can see what’s happening.

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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Selfhealer
16 hours ago, Greatful said:

Good morning.  I am feeling better.  I think this is one of the calmest mornings I've had it months

Hey! I stopped by to see how you’re doing and as I can see you’re doing pretty well. I am happy for you. Keep going. We are near the finish line. ❤️😉

28 October 2020: escitalopram(Cipralex) 0,5mg & Xanax 0,75 mg

5 December 2020: updosed Cipralex at 10 mg and lowered Xanax to 0,5mg

January 2021: Cipralex still on 10mg, Xanax 0,25mg 

2 February 2021: Cipralex updosed at 20mg   for about 2 weeks, Xanax cold-turkeyed 

18 February 2021: Cipralex lowered from 20mg to  15-to 10-to 5 in 5-6 weeks

Completely drug free since 17/03/2021

Currently taking Magnesium(1 pill per day) and Onega 3(3 capsules per day 1800mgEPA, 450mgDHA)

Practicing yoga, reiki, meditation and acceptance.

Fully functional but not healed 

 

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18 hours ago, Greatful said:

Good morning.  I am feeling better.  I think this is one of the calmest mornings I've had it months. 

I’m so happy for you , you deserve a nice morning, I hope it continues and you have more like that. Enjoy 😊 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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  • Mentor
Greatful

@Selfhealer  Thanks for stopping by.  I would love to  invite you in for  a cup of coffee😊

It was a welcome relief to finally have a morning where I wasn't down, full of despair, and fatigue.

I still wasn't my old self, but a glimpse of it.  The rest of the day bounced back and forth from I could sink into stronger WD and staying just above the surface.  I have noticed that some things were shifting in my mind for the last several days.  It's like I have 3/4 of me still wading around in the slug of WD and then slowly a little of me is showing up off and on.  I can only hope that it keep going in that direction.  The thought of sinking all the way back into the hideous land of disfunction is scary.  

 

How are you doing?  

Did you come out of the wave yet?

Hang in there my friend❤️

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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