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Greatful: Is this withdrawal or too many med changes at once?


Greatful

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  • Mentor

@Carmie  Thank you dear Carmie for thinking of me.  You are in your own world of hurt and taking time out to lend support to others is sooooo inspiring and appreciated.

 

Something is going on with me, I just can't find the words to talk or post much on here...I don't know if if it's burn out or my brain is to tired LOL...Words don't seem to come as easy to me as they did way backkkkkk.... This is starting my 3rd year of this nightmare.  

That being said, I am doing okay... as well as it can be when you are struggling to get off these drugs....😓 My top lip is peeling again after my last cut...What's that all about LOL.... I also lost my big toe nail on my left foot again.... I lost it in the last year and it grew back and now it's came off again....It truly amazes me the total effect these drugs have on our body and brains....I know that things are changing and healing.. I feel, it but boy it is soooo slowwww and when the wave comes either from a cut or for what ever reason it appears LOL,  it's feel like I am heading back to square one...But I seem to swing away from the worst of it faster but sadly I am waiting for that big window of normalcy....

I think for me learning to live with the crazy terror and fear that is in my brain is the worst...I think I can relate to Erell so much when it come to the terror of the brain.....The fears feel so real...I think the NAC is helping a little bit with it.  I may dose up soon, I am taking 500mg in the morning. I also noticed I am not as depressed with si thoughts....I had a bit a of si and depression the other day but it has lifted again.....So scary when that happens...Fatigue is hard to....I find I want to do more but my body and brain fatigue put limits on that...Right now I feel like I am stoned/drunk LOL  that comes and goes too....

 

If there is a silver lining as I go down on the lex my inner anxiety/restlessness is going down...I still have tingling throughout my body but the inner tension is going down along with my anger. Over all emotions are leveling out... I think the ADR from the Lex is also causing my terror in my brain...I keep thinking off the stories of how the drugs can make us think crazy too.... Hubby said we should have stopped the Lex right away when my brain blew up when I started it...😬My common sense is there but buried deep in the recesses in my brain.  When it does show it's self it reminds me of what it feel like to think more normal. To  think  with rationality and common sense, without terror or fear.  I am holding out and trying to trust that it will come back and stay when I am off the Lex..I dream of the day when my brain does not hurt, feel like it is freezing, numb, tingling, crushing in, and sometimes it has the what I call akathisia of the brain, the need to rip at it or  it feel like it is trying to find away to escape.

I get akathesia in my body at time too....The need to wiggle or feel like I have to run to escape something..  A near panic feeling.  Ugh this is tough.  But it's  better then they were at the begining... :)

 

Now to find a store that sell patience.  I want a some what normal life back (not sure what that is anymore LOL)...the amount of drugs I am on right now most doctors would tell me to just jump but we know that it isn't that easy....I am at 1.70mg of Lex but it still has the sert at 50% http:// https://ibb.co/7S1f6P6   here is a link to show sert occupancy of Lex.   So hard to be patient.

I have to hold back because I think what if it is the Lex that is causing my brain garbage and it will not go away until I am off of it...So I hold space to work my way off...I know I read somewhere that how you metabolize the drug can affect your withdrawal symptoms too.  I am a rapid metabolizer of the lex, and have increased risk of ADR to some sssri's  

 

I guess I did find some words LOL  thanks again for thinking of me.

I send you encouragement and strength to keep putting one foot in front of each other and heal from this temporary chemical brain injury.🌞 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I’m really sorry that you’re struggling so much @Greatful . Yes, you’re right, this journey is certainly a nightmare and I totally understand the brain thing. I can’t think to save my life some days, the brain fog is so thick. I’ve have it for three decades though, it’s part of chronic fatigue syndrome. Mine is there 24/7, everything around me is surreal. 
 

You are so encouraging in this community too, dear Greatful, I see your lovely posts everywhere. 
 

Your lip peeling is an unusual symptom, isn’t it? Is there anything that helps? I remember years ago I had a burning mouth for ages from tapering too quickly. It wasn’t until I found this site that I realised it was from the medication. It ended up going away. 


Yes, it’s so easy when we are in a wave to feel like it’s never going to end. We end up catastrophising because our nervous system is so shot. The nervousness and fear can be quite something when waves are severe, I just keep using different distractions to try and get me through the day when this happens. Even when I’m in a window my nervous system is on edge and I use distractions. I’m sorry you’re suffering too, do you have things you like to do that can help distract you so that you can make it through the day?
 

Akathisia is certainly one of the most horrific experiences of my entire life, I’m so very sorry you’ve gone through it as well. It’s extremely hard to explain to people that haven’t experienced it what it’s like. It’s being tortured. 
 

That’s so true that doctors think the small doses we are on are no big deal, just jump off. I’ve had doctors say to me that the 3.45mg that I’m on is so small, yet I’m tapering by only 1.5% every 6 or 7 weeks and still suffer. Actually, I’ve stayed on this last drop for over two months now, as I needed to updose the LDN and I can’t do too much at once. 
 

I’m glad you found some words to write your post, it’s good getting things off your chest in a community where others on this site can totally understand what you’re going through. 
 

Thanks for your kind words, I wish you strength to keep going also, our brains can do this! Time and patience I guess. 
 

Sending hugs your way🤗💛

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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On 5/25/2023 at 5:07 PM, Greatful said:

If there is a silver lining as I go down on the lex my inner anxiety/restlessness is going down...I still have tingling throughout my body but the inner tension is going down along with my anger. Over all emotions are leveling out..

Hi Greatful,

 

I draw hope from what you write above.  You describe the process so vividly.  You have gotten so low in your dose now - even with all the side effects and self doubt you have made massive progress and even with that are still helping people out here.  Respect.

 

Oaktree1

Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020.

Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine:   Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3.

Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug -  transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept  - 7.31; 24 Sept  - 7.13; 15 Oct  - 6.95; 6 Nov  - 6.78; 21 Nov  - 6.61; 5 Dec  - 6.51;

2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb  - 6.1; 9 Mar -  5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50;  (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40;  2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her  reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has  0.90ml of Mirtazapine.  7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml).  I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to.

2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 

2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84);

 

This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT.   Please do not PM me thanks.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear @Greatful, just wanted to say thank you for popping over to my thread. It’s nice to hear that you’re learning to love yourself more. 
 

Have you found the store that sells patience yet?🛍 Let me know if you do😁😉

 

How has your week been?💛

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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  • 1 month later...

Hi lovely @Greatful

WOW you’ve gotten yourself to such a small dose of Lex and you’ve helped so many people in this forum while going through your struggles as well . 
I admire your strength and courage through this . 
Since my last crash about three years ago I’ve tried to stabilise and give my brain time to heal before I taper again . 
There is no words to describe what we go through but your words are so accurate. 
Keep on fighting the fight 🍄
Cheeky 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

 

Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 6% per month doing daily micro-taper 

Guided by Mark Horowitz

24/09/23  14.47mg Seroquel.  16.19mg Paxil 

27/11/23.  12.13mg. Seroquel.   13.85mg Paxil

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello lovely @Greatful


I admire your strength going through this and supporting so many people . 

How are you doing ? 

Just wanted to come past and send my love 😍 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

 

Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 6% per month doing daily micro-taper 

Guided by Mark Horowitz

24/09/23  14.47mg Seroquel.  16.19mg Paxil 

27/11/23.  12.13mg. Seroquel.   13.85mg Paxil

 

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  • Mentor

@Cheeky  Hi there, thanks for stopping by.  How are things going for you?

I am doing okay, I am very pleased to say that I am off of the Lamictal and the Trazodone with 2 more to go, a little under 1.4mg  of Lex and Xanax  0.042mg x3 a day,  low doses according to the med field, but as we know it still can affect us as we drop.  I can say that I am better since the start of this mess.   I feel like the adr is getting better as I go down on the drugs and the Lex.   Funny how I was taking the Traz for sleep and I feel like overall I sleep better now and longer.  Yes I have some not so good nights and days but overall better.  

I hang on the hope that someday I will be drug free.  My goal is to get of the Lex and if I need to sit on the Xanax for a little while I will.    I get excited when I get a glimpse of feeling some what normal, it is becoming more and more stronger.  

So overall limping along and trying to stay focused on staying the course.  It's been a long, scary struggle since winter of 2020-2021.

🌞

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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Hi Grateful,

I am just stopping by to say hello and you will get drug that is for sure this long tunnel really does end.

Keep chipping away at it and one day we will all be set free and we will see each other on the other side:D

First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg.

 

 

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9 hours ago, Greatful said:

How are things going for you?

Yeah okay so far . I started my taper again doing the brassmonkey slide method . I want to see if there’s a pattern while I’m doing this . 
Im trying to stay positive, but it’s hard  sometimes. 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

 

Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 6% per month doing daily micro-taper 

Guided by Mark Horowitz

24/09/23  14.47mg Seroquel.  16.19mg Paxil 

27/11/23.  12.13mg. Seroquel.   13.85mg Paxil

 

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9 hours ago, Greatful said:

hang on the hope that someday I will be drug free. 

We will it just takes so much time. You’ve done so well . 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

 

Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 6% per month doing daily micro-taper 

Guided by Mark Horowitz

24/09/23  14.47mg Seroquel.  16.19mg Paxil 

27/11/23.  12.13mg. Seroquel.   13.85mg Paxil

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@pinkfairy  Hi there, Thank you for stopping by and sending encouragement.  We all need to hear that.

I see you have been working your way through this maze of psychotropic drug use and withdrawal.

How are you doing? 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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43 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@pinkfairy  Hi there, Thank you for stopping by and sending encouragement.  We all need to hear that.

I see you have been working your way through this maze of psychotropic drug use and withdrawal.

How are you doing? 

You're welcome. 100% everyone does need to hear it it soothes the soul.

I have indeed its a long road for sure 7 years in and still moving through the tunnel but very grateful for where i am today.

 

I am doing rather good considering thank you for asking, i have just been buying some new clothes  on-line sparkly the better for me.

 

How are you doing today?

First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg.

 

 

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On 27.11.2021 at 17:19, Greatful said:

Trochę aktualności

Mało energii, bardzo zmęczony, słaby fizycznie i słaby mięśni

Szukam powodu (jak wszyscy robimy od czasu do czasu) co powoduje moje nadmierne zmęczenie, niską energię i słabość. Przechodzę przez to normalnie, ale nie w takiej skrajności. Ledwo mogę stać i gotować lub zmywać naczynia. Od kilku dni nie chodziłem na bieżni… Dziś rano czułem się mentalnie odłączony, czułem się wyczerpany, prawie jak bliski utraty przytomności.

Cóż, to wszystko zaczęło się powoli przez ostatnie kilka dni i jest coraz gorzej.

Zmierzyłem ciśnienie krwi i jest 96/120, rozkurczowe jest dla mnie niższe niż normalne.

Oto zmiany, które wprowadziłem w ciągu ostatnich 2 tygodni

1-10% obniżki Lexa 14 dni temu

2-Zaczęłam brać kąpiele Mag prawie codziennie przez kilka dni

3-nadal biorę magnez przez cały dzień. 

4--Używam lawendy/kokosa miejscowo

5-Używam dyfuzora z olejkiem lawendowym

Zamierzam przestać brać kąpiele Mag (były miłe i pomocne) w nadziei, że zobaczę jakąś poprawę.

 

Jakieś pomysły?

 

 

It's good that your husband supports you, my wife and I generally don't support each other. It's nice that you have a treadmill, I can't use it now. MaybeI will also renstall escitalopram but I'm afraid.
 

 

2022 escitalopram from July 25 2.5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg August-December- 7.5 mg, 5 mg, (1 month) 2.5 mg - C/T 
WD
2023 Short reinstatement from WD date: 

escitalopram May 25-June 12 5 mg, 2.5 mg plus interrupted

Reinstatement 24 07.23 0.5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0.22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0.28
Now 0.30 mg escitalopram 

Last year 6 months on escitalopram, I was very agitated, hypomaniacal and with little need for sleep. 
Since July 2023 reinstated and reduced from 0.50 mg to 0.30 mg Lexapro - difficulty sleeping and lack of sleep, eye pain and IBS. Anhedonia. 

November 2023 - 0mg

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  • 1 month later...
On 7/22/2023 at 9:08 AM, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  Hi there, thanks for stopping by.  How are things going for you?

I am doing okay, I am very pleased to say that I am off of the Lamictal and the Trazodone with 2 more to go, a little under 1.4mg  of Lex and Xanax  0.042mg x3 a day,  low doses according to the med field, but as we know it still can affect us as we drop.  I can say that I am better since the start of this mess.   I feel like the adr is getting better as I go down on the drugs and the Lex.   Funny how I was taking the Traz for sleep and I feel like overall I sleep better now and longer.  Yes I have some not so good nights and days but overall better.  

I hang on the hope that someday I will be drug free.  My goal is to get of the Lex and if I need to sit on the Xanax for a little while I will.    I get excited when I get a glimpse of feeling some what normal, it is becoming more and more stronger.  

So overall limping along and trying to stay focused on staying the course.  It's been a long, scary struggle since winter of 2020-2021.

🌞

 

 

 

 

This is so good to read! So glad you're feeling and sleeping better overall. You're so close even if it doesn't feel that way💞 

1990s Zoloft, Prozac, and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and NO W/D! Oh, to be young again... 

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017 & held, then tapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone 80mg (for heroin addiction;) decreased to 30mg 2016-2021

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off over 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper off Klonipin

2021 - Citalopram down to 12.8mg in April; July 11.52mg, August 10mg, Oct 9mg, Nov 8.1mg, Dec 7.8mg

2022 - Citalopram 7.4mg

2023 - September - off methadone! FINALLY OPIOID-FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Supplements: Tryptophan, 5-HTP, Tyrosine, vitamin D, topical magnesium, ashwagandha, phenibut, lion's mane, CBD, GABA

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On 4/27/2023 at 12:06 PM, Greatful said:

I started NAC  to see if it will help with my horrible ocd, terror and obsessing.  It has very good review.  https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/nac-benefits

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327219

 

I just learned about NAC from your thread...I'm intrigued that it regulates glutamate, which I've struggled with in foods like bone broth/kombucha ever since tapering off Klonipin 3 years ago but also maybe just have issues with (not sure). So you feel like the NAC is helping with anxiety? I may need to get some. I just read it's been shown to reduce withdrawal symptoms!

 

And have you been able to resume doing things that help you feel better? I'm struggling to keep my self-care up at the moment too because I just am so tired and have zero motivation to do anything but lie in bed and watch TV/YouTube (I've seen A LOT of Taylor Swift videos the past 6 months...didn't even know I was a fan; thanks, withdrawal!🤣) Anyway, I really relate to that. Sounds like you've restarted helping things though since you're feeling better💞

1990s Zoloft, Prozac, and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and NO W/D! Oh, to be young again... 

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017 & held, then tapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone 80mg (for heroin addiction;) decreased to 30mg 2016-2021

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off over 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper off Klonipin

2021 - Citalopram down to 12.8mg in April; July 11.52mg, August 10mg, Oct 9mg, Nov 8.1mg, Dec 7.8mg

2022 - Citalopram 7.4mg

2023 - September - off methadone! FINALLY OPIOID-FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Supplements: Tryptophan, 5-HTP, Tyrosine, vitamin D, topical magnesium, ashwagandha, phenibut, lion's mane, CBD, GABA

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/22/2023 at 3:08 PM, Greatful said:

am doing okay, I am very pleased to say that I am off of the Lamictal and the Trazodone with 2 more to go, a little under 1.4mg  of Lex and Xanax  0.042mg x3 a day,  low doses according to the med field, but as we know it still can affect us as we drop.  I can say that I am better since the start of this mess.   I feel like the adr is getting better as I go down on the drugs and the Lex.   Funny how I was taking the Traz for sleep and I feel like overall I sleep better now and longer.  Yes I have some not so good nights and days but overall better.  

I hang on the hope that someday I will be drug free.  My goal is to get of the Lex and if I need to sit on the Xanax for a little while I will. 

Hi Greatful

 

I am heartened to hear about your huge progress - kudos on getting off Lamictal and Trazadone - huge achievement - you are on the home stretch with Lex and the Xanax seems really really low.  With all the support and kindness and empathy you give people on here ...well it couldn't happen to a better person.

 

Oaktree1

Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020.

Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine:   Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3.

Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug -  transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept  - 7.31; 24 Sept  - 7.13; 15 Oct  - 6.95; 6 Nov  - 6.78; 21 Nov  - 6.61; 5 Dec  - 6.51;

2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb  - 6.1; 9 Mar -  5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50;  (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40;  2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her  reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has  0.90ml of Mirtazapine.  7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml).  I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to.

2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 

2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84);

 

This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT.   Please do not PM me thanks.

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  • Moderator
On 7/22/2023 at 10:08 AM, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  Hi there, thanks for stopping by.  How are things going for you?

I am doing okay, I am very pleased to say that I am off of the Lamictal and the Trazodone with 2 more to go, a little under 1.4mg  of Lex and Xanax  0.042mg x3 a day,  low doses according to the med field, but as we know it still can affect us as we drop.  I can say that I am better since the start of this mess.   I feel like the adr is getting better as I go down on the drugs and the Lex.   Funny how I was taking the Traz for sleep and I feel like overall I sleep better now and longer.  Yes I have some not so good nights and days but overall better.  

I hang on the hope that someday I will be drug free.  My goal is to get of the Lex and if I need to sit on the Xanax for a little while I will.    I get excited when I get a glimpse of feeling some what normal, it is becoming more and more stronger.  

So overall limping along and trying to stay focused on staying the course.  It's been a long, scary struggle since winter of 2020-2021.

🌞

 

 

 

 

 

That is soo great to hear, @Greatful. Keep on trucking : )

Remeron - 2004-2005 (bad withdrawal)

Clonazepam - 2005-2018 (jumped around March)

Olanzapine - 2014- late 2017

Domperidone - 2008-2018

Many drugs in between including Lexapro, other benzos and z-drugs.

Still suffering post-withdrawal from Clonazepam (Klonopin), Olanzapine and Domperidone. 

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  • Mentor

@Oaktree1  Hey girl I was thinking of you earlier.  My heart goes out to all of us that are trying to find our way back to  who we are drug free.  This horrific ordeal is so unreal and so inhumane.  I feel so much for you and your external family struggles.  I really think you should give yourself a great big hug and a huge amount of self love, self compassion.   I admire your courage and fortitude to trudge on when you have so little home support.  Of course you must know that there is support here for you.🌞  Now if that made any sense LOL It's the best my brain is going to give me today 😳

You are getting down there too.  You've got this Oaktree.🎉

Thank you for your kind word.  I am not on here as much, the amount of pain and misery can start to way heavy.  It makes me angry, how many new ones coming on, when are we going to see some traction in the medical field, media making some changes in the use of these drugs.  Then there are the old ones like you and I still try to limp along, then there is the really old ones that just drop off and you wonder what's going on with them.  Part of me thinks they just hit burn out too and just limp along in silence to reach the other side of this nightmare.  Then there are those that just don't come back with their success stories.  I hope that when I am through this nightmare that I will be able to be more proactive in getting the word out.  Maybe start some support groups where we can actually talk and here peoples voices.

 

 I spend a fair amount of time listening to Angie Peacock, mad in America, Medicating Normal, Dr Josef Witt-Doerring  to name a few LOL. Greatly pleased with  a  actual psychiatrists  Dr Josef Witt-Doerring jumping on the band wagon- helping people get off psych drugs.  His wife is a psychiatrist also doing de-prescribing.

I guess trying to stay focused.  It's so easy to start second guessing myself when I don't feel very good, you feel half crazy sometimes, maybe I need med's  😒   I hang on to that fact that I am starting to see some light and that means I am going in the right direction.  

 

I am down to 0.7mg of Lex as of today.  I am going a little bit faster then maybe some people but I can't take the ADR anymore.  I can tell that as I go down it's not as intense or strong but still there, so it makes me want to get off as fast as I can tolerate.  The worst for me is the chemical feel it causes in my brain, terror, fear, the burning, numb,  like it has been put under Novian and it's starting wear off  I really think I have akathesia in my brain, it can get so  bad I want to rip out my brain to make it stop.  It moves around my brain.   The worst is when my forehead feels like a hard base ball and it affects my thinking. O well enough of that LOL,  I know this isn't easy for many of us. Complete  nightmare 😬 Depression and SI thoughts are a on and off visitor also. 

Oh man to  make it to our pillows every night. 

 

Now for a few positives......I am walking more, doing more things away from home, run errands. Physical symptom are getting less troublesome.  In general I can feel like I am moving forward, just not fast enough LOL. Over all my sleep is getting more deep and restful, I average 7 hours with a few bumpy nights thrown in here and there.  Typical I guess, it's the nature of this beast.

 

We will do this Oaktree and one day we will be able look ourself in the mirror and with a  triumphant  smile 

say "we did it and we didn't let big pharma win".

 

Enough rambling.  Sending you encouragement and caring vibes your way.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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  • Mentor
On 7/22/2023 at 9:08 AM, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  Hi there, thanks for stopping by.  How are things going for you?

I am doing okay, I am very pleased to say that I am off of the Lamictal and the Trazodone with 2 more to go, a little under 1.4mg  of Lex and Xanax  0.042mg x3 a day,  low doses according to the med field, but as we know it still can affect us as we drop.  I can say that I am better since the start of this mess.   I feel like the adr is getting better as I go down on the drugs and the Lex.   Funny how I was taking the Traz for sleep and I feel like overall I sleep better now and longer.  Yes I have some not so good nights and days but overall better.  

I hang on the hope that someday I will be drug free.  My goal is to get of the Lex and if I need to sit on the Xanax for a little while I will.    I get excited when I get a glimpse of feeling some what normal, it is becoming more and more stronger.  

So overall limping along and trying to stay focused on staying the course.  It's been a long, scary struggle since winter of 2020-2021.

🌞

 

 

 

 

Congratulations Greatful ! I hope you are doing well! sounds like a good plan .

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

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  • Mentor

@Greatful well I guess we were typing at same time! 
thanks for update sounds great! Getting some sleep ! 👍

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

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15 hours ago, Greatful said:

I am down to 0.7mg of Lex as of today.  I am going a little bit faster then maybe some people but I can't take the ADR anymore.  I can tell that as I go down it's not as intense or strong but still there, so it makes me want to get off as fast as I can tolerate.  The worst for me is the chemical feel it causes in my brain, terror, fear, the burning, numb,  like it has been put under Novian and it's starting wear off  I really think I have akathesia in my brain, it can get so  bad I want to rip out my brain to make it stop.  It moves around my brain.   The worst is when my forehead feels like a hard base ball and it affects my thinking. O well enough of that LOL,  I know this isn't easy for many of us. Complete  nightmare 😬 Depression and SI thoughts are a on and off visitor also. 

Oh man to  make it to our pillows every night. 

 

Now for a few positives......I am walking more, doing more things away from home, run errands. Physical symptom are getting less troublesome.  In general I can feel like I am moving forward, just not fast enough LOL. Over all my sleep is getting more deep and restful, I average 7 hours with a few bumpy nights thrown in here and there.  Typical I guess, it's the nature of this beast.

Hi Greatful,

 

The sleep thing improvement is probably contributing to you being able to do more stuff and the physical symptoms becoming less bothersome.  Sounds like you are really rounding a bend in the road there.  I don't get any of the brain symptoms that you recount but I get the what do they call it thought worms, same ruminations on the same stuff.  The akathisia I can relate to - bloody awful.  But you really sound like you are progressing.

 

I don't listen to much of the stuff anymore on Medicating Normal and that...but I think the  paragraph below in your reply really sums the whole thing up better than I could.

15 hours ago, Greatful said:

I am not on here as much, the amount of pain and misery can start to way heavy.  It makes me angry, how many new ones coming on, when are we going to see some traction in the medical field, media making some changes in the use of these drugs.  Then there are the old ones like you and I still try to limp along, then there is the really old ones that just drop off and you wonder what's going on with them.  Part of me thinks they just hit burn out too and just limp along in silence to reach the other side of this nightmare.  Then there are those that just don't come back with their success stories.  I hope that when I am through this nightmare that I will be able to be more proactive in getting the word out.  Maybe start some support groups where we can actually talk and here peoples voices.

 

Perhaps the word is getting out anyway a bit about the AD's anyway a small bit but the train is moving on now to ketamine and psiolcybins and recently I heard about Methadone being used as treatment for depression.  I guess opiates being the biggest pain killer going it's not really surprising...I think the only thing we can do is as you say limp along.  We only have ourselves and if we are lucky our nearest and dearest at the end of the day and the great thing is anyway that you are looking after yourself and making progress.  

 

It is heartening to hear a bit of good news.

 

Oaktree1

Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020.

Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine:   Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3.

Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug -  transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept  - 7.31; 24 Sept  - 7.13; 15 Oct  - 6.95; 6 Nov  - 6.78; 21 Nov  - 6.61; 5 Dec  - 6.51;

2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb  - 6.1; 9 Mar -  5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50;  (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40;  2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her  reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has  0.90ml of Mirtazapine.  7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml).  I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to.

2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 

2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84);

 

This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT.   Please do not PM me thanks.

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@Greatful@Oaktree1, etc. I am a newer member on this site and I have read your threads several times. I want to encourage you that the support you offer each other and other members is so encouraging as I have found myself in the same journey as you. Keep strong, you are doing so well! (And you have given me hope that I can push through this too!)

Nortriptyline -2wks- April 2023, 20 mg for migraines, depression, stopped 

Lexapro- 1 wk May 2023, 2.5 mg s

Remeron- 2 days, June 2023, 2.5 mg

Prozac/ fluoxetine- started July 5 2023- liquid

4 mg for a wk (1 ml)July 5- July 12, 2023

6 mg- for a wk -July 13- 20, 2023

8 mg- for a wk July 21- 28,  2023

10 mg-wk bad side effects July 29- August 5, 2023

8 mg- August 5, 2023, 7.6 mg Sept 2023

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear Greatful, 
I had a smile on my face while reading your thread, it felt like I was receiving news from an old friend. ❤️

You describe very well the absurd and terrible symptoms we go through, and I am truly sorry that you are still experiencing them.
I am also sincerely happy to read that not only are you seeing progress but that this progress goes hand in hand with a reduction in your doses.
You deserve to feel that things are evolving. It feels good to know that we can evolve and that life can change.
I send you warm thoughts 🌿

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/9/2022 at 5:10 PM, Believer said:

Yes, I have had this to varying degrees. I also get pressure and my head feels heavy and foggy. Not the same as having a head cold, but that’s the closest comparison I can think of.

 

This! What else can we do but hope for a better tomorrow, a better hour or moment even. Hold onto that hope.

 

I have had significant rt. arm and abdominal jerks the last 8-9 months. My abdomen will even contract and hold for several seconds. Thankfully this has diminished significantly the past couple of weeks. I get it, all the body sensations, tingling, spasmino, can be disturbing. Hard to ignore, I just try to relax and ride it out. Not easy though and can sometimes wear me down.

 

This is good, no? I feel like I am on drugs now. Off balance, dizzy at times, walking around like I’m drunk. 

You’re not alone in this. I really appreciate your honesty. Please keep posting the good and the bad. We are here for you.

 

You remain in my prayers. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Hugs

Hi Believer,

Hope you are making more progress everyday.

 

Just a fellow sufferer asking about your abdominal jerks. Well I have them too. Did they stop for you or greatly improved?

 

Giuly88

Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017.

Started 10mg citalopram May 2019

Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. 
Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed  discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

 

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@Greatful I wanted to stop by and see how you are doing, it's been such a long time.....

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

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  • Mentor

@Mia1  Hey girl it's great to here from you.  I've often wondered how things were going for you. 

 

The positive thing for me is I am off the Lamictal and Trazadone down to 0.042mg x3 a day of Xanax and working my way off of Lexapro, by Friday I should be at 0.5mg of Lex.  Has it been fun, no it's been a slow anguishing up and down.  Some symptoms are getting better like my activation and restlessness from the Lex is much better but still have many of the other wd symptoms.  Some are better, definately better from the start of all this.  If I am feeling better I am able to do more but as we know when the wave hits I'm back to couch/bed surfing a lot  and doing small activities.  

 

I'm focusing hard on getting off the Lex and then resting before working on the last of the Xanax.  I hold on the the hard work and all the time I put in to get this far and really want to see it through.......Sooooo hard somedays. 

 

Thanks for stopping by I'm going to pop over to your thread.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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On 12/6/2023 at 8:44 AM, Greatful said:

@Mia1  Hey girl it's great to here from you.  I've often wondered how things were going for you. 

 

The positive thing for me is I am off the Lamictal and Trazadone down to 0.042mg x3 a day of Xanax and working my way off of Lexapro, by Friday I should be at 0.5mg of Lex.  Has it been fun, no it's been a slow anguishing up and down.  Some symptoms are getting better like my activation and restlessness from the Lex is much better but still have many of the other wd symptoms.  Some are better, definately better from the start of all this.  If I am feeling better I am able to do more but as we know when the wave hits I'm back to couch/bed surfing a lot  and doing small activities.  

 

I'm focusing hard on getting off the Lex and then resting before working on the last of the Xanax.  I hold on the the hard work and all the time I put in to get this far and really want to see it through.......Sooooo hard somedays. 

 

Thanks for stopping by I'm going to pop over to your thread.

 

 

 

 

 

Congratulations on being off Lamictal and Trazadone and so low on other meds!!! You got this!💖

1990s Zoloft, Prozac, and a litany of other drugs including mood stabilizers

1998 Effexor 140mg and Remeron 40mg (I think) - quit cold turkey 2006 and NO W/D! Oh, to be young again... 

2004 Lorazepam 0.5mg; switched to Klonipin 2010

2010 Klonipin 1-2mg/day - decreased gradually down to 0.35mg 2016-2017 & held, then tapered off April-July 2020

2012 Lexapro and Seraquil/Remeron - quit CT 2012 after 1 month of use

2013 Methadone 80mg (for heroin addiction;) decreased to 30mg 2016-2021

2014 Effexor 75mg - tapered off over 1.5 weeks by doc 2017

2017 Citalopram 20mg - started tapering Dec. 2019-March 2020; got down to 14.35 mg then paused to taper off Klonipin

2021 - Citalopram down to 12.8mg in April; July 11.52mg, August 10mg, Oct 9mg, Nov 8.1mg, Dec 7.8mg

2022 - Citalopram 7.4mg

2023 - September - off methadone! FINALLY OPIOID-FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Supplements: Tryptophan, 5-HTP, Tyrosine, vitamin D, topical magnesium, ashwagandha, phenibut, lion's mane, CBD, GABA

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  • 1 month later...
  • Mentor

Update... It seems I am not on my thread very much....I usually don't  have much to say anymore, same old same old.  I want to try and reach out once in awhile...I don't want to be like many others that go quite and you are left wondering what happen to them.   

 

I am hurting right now...Wondering like many of us seem to do when we feel like this....wondering how I am going to make it through this.  What am I doing?  I have been in this nightmare since Fall of 2020...I know that I have a better insight into how this works....Wave... go into a slight panic, fear and start feeling  desperate....I am able to use some coping skills, I know that I have to hold tight and wait it out, take extra care of myself,  just focus on getting through the day.  Sooo hard to do when you feel so desperate and it feels like there is no end insight.  So the story goes, up and down round and round.  I guess looking for validation and assurance that I am not alone.  It's crazy how you can feel like things are getting better and you start thinking more positive and hopeful. "I think I got this, I think I can do this"  Then you cut and the rug gets pulled out from  under you and are back to that negative thinking...I try to hold on, the fact that I have been at this for so long I can see the pattern and try to dig down deep and remind myself that it will pass and you will feel better again....(just can't listen to the voice that starts to sound louder)...."Maybe this is it, I am the one that can heal from this"....

 

I am down to 0.4mg of Lex....The ADR is better.  It's crazy how at this amount the Sert occupancy at 0.42mg is 20% That means I am taking a fraction of 1 mg and it's still  holding my brain just under 20% hostage....Here is the link that has the sert brake down for Lexapro. http:// https://ibb.co/7S1f6P6  

This is so inhumane and so uncompromisable to grasp the amount of misery these drugs can cause.   

 

Thanks for listening back to taking care of myself and getting through this day which will lead to another day of healing....🌞

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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39 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I guess looking for validation and assurance that I am not alone.

Oh @Greatful everything you've written I feel too.....you are definitely not alone. All of the questions and fears you posed are the same for me and probably the same for many of us here. 

 

41 minutes ago, Greatful said:

I am down to 0.4mg of Lex....The ADR is better.

This is amazing......all of your hard work is paying off!  Hold on to that and keep reminding yourself as often as you have to as it shows you where you are headed and that healing is happening.

 

You describe the days so well.....using our coping skills, getting through but it all just becomes so wearing doesn't it?  It is so hard just getting through instead of truly living.  But you are getting there, Grateful, even if you don't feel like it.  Hang in there, brave friend.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Hello @Greatful, I wanted to drop by to tell you a lot of us feel the same and even with tapering some symptoms still don't show mercy sadly...When I feel a little better I start to have more trust that I'll manage to survive, but when I'm in really bad pain I start to doubt myself too. Time seems to flow so slowly when you're suffering and feeling trapped...

I'm following your thread as I'm stuck with lexapro and xanax as well...similar dosages as you've been on. For me especially the thought that I have to stick with a benzo while I have to get rid of lexapro is very hard, but they're both awful in the end.

Please hang in there, your journey brings hope to me as well. I want to applaud your hard work these past 3 years, as I'm only 6 months in and this fight is truly only for strong souls.

22 June 2023 Olanzapine 2.5 mg; Start of August stopped CT; Reinstated ↗️ 2.5 mg one week after due to insufferable withdrawal; Still bad after 2 days ↘️ 1,25 mg ➡️stabilised; 10 August-24 August took 1,25 mg; Around 24 August-3 September ↘️ 0,625 mg then stopped. One week later severe withdrawal started.

29 June 2023 5 mg Lexapro; 22 September ↘️ 4 mg; 1 Jan 2024 ↘️ 3,8 mg15 Jan ↘️ 3,6 mg; 29 Jan↘️ 3,4 mg; 12 Feb ↘️ 3,2 mg; 23 Feb ↘️ 2,9 mg; 8 Mar ↘️ 2,6 mg; 22 Mar ↘️ 2,3 mg

29 June 2023 0,25 mg Xanax; Around 6 July ↗️ 0,375 mg; Aug-Sept taper ↘️ 0,156 mg; Jan-Mar taper ↘️ 0,14 mg(0,046 mg×3 day)

 

Other medication:

-present: Dicarbocalm Antacid(calcium carbonate) PRN, Kebene(simethicone and charcoal) PRN, Ibuprofen 400/600 mg PRN.

Supplements: Magnesium, Omega 3

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  • Administrator

Hang in there my friend!! You are doing amazing and you are going to come through this with flying colors :) You are going to be healed one day and writing a success story and telling others all about it!! I'm only a message away if you need.

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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@Greatful I can completely relate to this, I have been going through this about the some amount of time and have been having a difficult time lately. I had some lemon balm tea a couple nights in a row and it put me in such an intense wave it almost felt like I was just starting out and I resisted that SO much, I was like no, I'm not going through this again. And all over some herbal tea, it's crazy!! So you are absolutely NOT alone and it  can be really difficult and frustrating and we have earned the right for that to be okay too. 

 

I have to say, knowing you from the beginning, I see such a difference in the way that you are handling this and I'm both proud of you and happy for the amazing ways you have grown. You're not panicking or getting defeated, you know you are healing. And you really are. And you are so low now, WOW that's amazing. Keep going my friend, it's going to get better 💜

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

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19 hours ago, Greatful said:

This is so inhumane and so uncompromisable to grasp the amount of misery these drugs can cause.   

 

Hi Greatful,

 

As usual you encapsulate in your post the suffering these drugs cause.  Thank you for updating your thread.  I missed seeing your posts.  I relate to everything - everything - you wrote and it made me feel better for reading it. 

 

As Mia1 and Wantrelief have written, you are down so low in your drug dose now - I remember you well from the first days I was a member here when you reached out to me and I have watched your taper with real amazement at what you have achieved in that time while giving huge support and kindness and encouragement to many other members here.   

 

You are not alone - I too am finding it tough going and know that at a relatively low dose, and as you write presumably high SERT occupancy that the toughest part of the journey is in front of me now.  I know from reading other posts that many others are suffering through this too and most of us are doing it with little or no help from the wonderful caring medical profession -(hahahahah) -  the people who do no harm (hahahhahah).  

 

Just keep as you write yourself 'making it to your pillow every night'.  I know it must be cold where you are now but I find getting out each day (if that is possible ) helpful for the symptoms.

 

Love

Oaktree1

Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020.

Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine:   Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3.

Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug -  transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept  - 7.31; 24 Sept  - 7.13; 15 Oct  - 6.95; 6 Nov  - 6.78; 21 Nov  - 6.61; 5 Dec  - 6.51;

2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb  - 6.1; 9 Mar -  5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50;  (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40;  2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her  reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has  0.90ml of Mirtazapine.  7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml).  I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to.

2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 

2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84);

 

This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT.   Please do not PM me thanks.

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You are NOT ALONE my friend. While this can be at times the loneliest journey, knowing you, and many others on here, are going through this same hell, is somehow comforting and makes the journey a fraction easier. 
 

Hang in there you can do it! We can do it! One day at a time!

 

(((Hugs))) 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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On 1/14/2024 at 2:12 AM, Greatful said:

Update... It seems I am not on my thread very much....I usually don't  have much to say anymore, same old same old.  I want to try and reach out once in awhile...I don't want to be like many others that go quite and you are left wondering what happen to them.   

 

I am hurting right now...Wondering like many of us seem to do when we feel like this....wondering how I am going to make it through this.  What am I doing?  I have been in this nightmare since Fall of 2020...I know that I have a better insight into how this works....Wave... go into a slight panic, fear and start feeling  desperate....I am able to use some coping skills, I know that I have to hold tight and wait it out, take extra care of myself,  just focus on getting through the day.  Sooo hard to do when you feel so desperate and it feels like there is no end insight.  So the story goes, up and down round and round.  I guess looking for validation and assurance that I am not alone.  It's crazy how you can feel like things are getting better and you start thinking more positive and hopeful. "I think I got this, I think I can do this"  Then you cut and the rug gets pulled out from  under you and are back to that negative thinking...I try to hold on, the fact that I have been at this for so long I can see the pattern and try to dig down deep and remind myself that it will pass and you will feel better again....(just can't listen to the voice that starts to sound louder)...."Maybe this is it, I am the one that can heal from this"....

 

I am down to 0.4mg of Lex....The ADR is better.  It's crazy how at this amount the Sert occupancy at 0.42mg is 20% That means I am taking a fraction of 1 mg and it's still  holding my brain just under 20% hostage....Here is the link that has the sert brake down for Lexapro. http:// https://ibb.co/7S1f6P6  

This is so inhumane and so uncompromisable to grasp the amount of misery these drugs can cause.   

 

Thanks for listening back to taking care of myself and getting through this day which will lead to another day of healing....🌞

Hey there lovely lady 🌸

I just want to let you  know that I think you've done an amazing job getting to where you are now . I remember you helped me a lot a few years ago and that meant a lot to me . 
Everything you say I resonate to . This is unfair and cruel what we have to endure but you definitely not alone . 
Keep on fighting this fight 👊🏻,

you will make it and I can't wait to read your success storie 

 

huggs Cheeky 

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

 

Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 6% per month doing daily micro-taper 

Guided by Mark Horowitz

24/09/23  14.47mg Seroquel.  16.19mg Paxil 

27/11/23.  12.13mg. Seroquel.   13.85mg Paxil

 

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  • Mentor
On 1/13/2024 at 9:12 AM, Greatful said:

Maybe this is it, I am the one that can heal from this"....

 

I guess most people figured out I meant " I am the one that can't heal from this"

 

On 1/13/2024 at 9:12 AM, Greatful said:

This is so inhumane and so uncompromisable to grasp the amount of misery these drugs can cause.   

 

I guess my I should check over my writing LOL  What is uncompromisable?  I meant to say say uncomprehensive.

 

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement.  I am sooooo worn out right now.  Maybe winter weather is not helping😓  I try to get out and walk but lately it's been very cold here...I bundled up today,  went for a walk...at least it was 10 degrees... not below 0 LOL.  

 

So should I say to myself wow Heidi you have 3 years in, that's  3 years of healing under your belt, that means your light at the end of this nightmare is right around the corner.... Or the tire out Heidi say how much more am I going to have to go through.  Man the brain sure has away of taking control and holding on to negative thoughts.  

 

Does anyone else have a hard time remembering what it was like to feel good, your brain working right, and being a part of life?  I get quick glimpses of feeling normal.  What I remember normal being LOL.. What I wouldn't give to go out for coffee with a friend and not feel fear, or just plain awful... 

 

I think we should start A/w/d (antidepressant withdrawal) chapters like AA. 

Maybe call it ABIND...Antidepressant & Benzo Induced Neurological Dysfunction.  I see it now...Several people sit around a table drinking tea, or decaf coffee, sharing stories, coping skills and most of all support and validation.  

 

Back to one day at a time, and making it to my pillow.🌞

Wouldn't it be great if we had a place to go and talk, listen and help each other on a weekly basis.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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