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crista on the road to recovery


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Hi everyone. I am on year 2 of my withdrawal and I am starting to notice some progress. I feel calmer and happier and I even find myself singing and dancing again. I hadn't had a moment of peace for 2 years but these past few months I definitely noticed a change. I am able to look people in the eye again and I am able to go out and run errands. Before I couldn't leave the house at all, let alone go anywhere on my own. I still feel the anxiety and my vision is still strange but the anxiety is tolerable and the brain zaps are gone. I still have some days where I can't stop crying. I notice that these days are always right before my period. I read that withdrawal symptoms can get worse during ovulation. I am not out of the woods yet but I feel like for the first time in a long time, I have hope again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like it's easier to push myself to keep going now. I will get through this. I am hoping that soon I can write that I had a full recovery and am enjoying life. I will cherish the moments of peace and calmness and make wonderful memories with my loved ones. I will be able to go out and live my life. Until then, all I can do is just keep going. I urge you all to keep going. Don't give up. Here's what I have been doing lately. I don't know if any of it contributed to my progress or if the withdrawal is running it's course but I thought I would share it with you all.

 

-Acupuncture once a week

-Supplements: Vitamin D, B Complex, Calcium, Multivitamin (it's called ActivNutrients), Fish Oil, Probiotic

-Keeping busy: I've been making bracelets and spending time with my loved ones

-Avoiding the tv and computer (for those of you with hypersensitive eyes): My eyes are very overwhelmed by movement, lights, and even patterns. They feel better if I don't watch tv or go on the computer much. This is hard for me because I am a graphic designer and working on the computer used to bring me a lot of happiness. Also, I loooove movies! In the beginning, watching movies really helped me relax but when my eyes got really bad, I found it best to just stay away from them. Sometimes I sit and listen to the tv with my eyes closed and just peak at the screen every now and then.

-Therapy: This was both good and bad for me. It was good because talking really helped me get everything off my chest. Also, we did exposure therapy that helped me get out more and work on my agoraphobia. (here's a link to an exercise: http://listen2themusic.tumblr.com/post/21743409877/treating-agoraphobia) It was bad because my therapist does not believe in antidepressant withdrawal. I couldn't find anyone who does and I don't understand why. Anyway, she is convinced that the anxiety and depression I feel is the return of my anxiety and depression that I had before starting the antidepressant. She thought that the other symptoms were neurological and urged me to go to a neurologist. I tried a bunch of therapists and searched everywhere for one that believes in withdrawal. I just continue to see this woman for exposure therapy.

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crista, that's great news.

 

You've come a long way even since you started your Intro topic crista: can withdrawal symptoms return a year later? at the beginning of April this year.

 

Keep us posted! I'm sure you'll be adding that you've completely recovered here.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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crista, that's great news.

 

You've come a long way even since you started your Intro topic crista: can withdrawal symptoms return a year later? at the beginning of April this year.

 

Keep us posted! I'm sure you'll be adding that you've completely recovered here.

 

Thank you! Yes it all happened pretty quickly. At first, i felt more like I was just getting used to feeling terrible but then I noticed moments of contentment and I knew changes were happening. Singing and dancing? I haven't done that in forever! If I can come out of my debilitating anxiety and depression, anyone can. I hope I keep getting better and better. I still have hopeless moments where I keep telling myself that it's not anywhere near being over and I might not come out of it. I try to stop those thoughts immediately and replace them with excitement for the future. Plans of things that I'll do once I'm free.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Congrats Crista, your doing it hun!!!! its happening, i am too, i still get those hopeless moments and a few crappy times, but hey now and then is by far better than 24/7 as it once used to be.

You have come so far - just a little bit more and we will both be there.

here's to more healing thoughts and peaceful times x

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Congrats Crista, your doing it hun!!!! its happening, i am too, i still get those hopeless moments and a few crappy times, but hey now and then is by far better than 24/7 as it once used to be.

You have come so far - just a little bit more and we will both be there.

here's to more healing thoughts and peaceful times x

 

Thank you so much for your kind and inspiring words. I am so happy to hear that you are getting better, too. We all are. :)

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  • 1 month later...

Hello,

 

It's been 2 months since I really noticed that I was making some progress and I am continuing to get better. The uncontrollable crying is GONE. The panic attacks happen once or twice a month, as apposed to almost every day. This makes it less scary to go out. I make myself get out everyday. I go on hikes with my sister and I run errands and things like that. A few months ago, I would not be able to go into a store by myself. Now I can. I still feel anxiety creep up but it's easier to get through somehow. I notice I will start seeing funny and feeling panic like I want to run out of the store but I am able to stay. Speaking of vision, my eyes are a lot better, too. I no longer see double or blurry. My eyes are still overwhelmed by motion but not anywhere near as bad as before. My sensitivity to sounds is isolated to just in the morning and it is no where near as bad as it was. I feel like I can say with confidence that the worst is behind me. I am getting my life back and it feels great.

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crista, thank you for sharing this good news. You are giving a lot of people hope.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I hope so! One of the hardest things for me was losing hope. I was terrified that I was never going to get better. Now that I see a light at the end of the tunnel, life is a lot easier.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I had a terrible 3 days. Panic attacks and constant anxiety. Felt disoriented and like I was losing my mind. This morning was rough, too. Took a long time to get out of bed (could be because I was exhausted from panicking all night) and then everything overwhelmed my brain and sounds painfully echoed in my ears. That passed and I am SOOOO much calmer. What changed? Why did I have it so rough for 3 days? Why is it better now? Over the course of the bad days, I found myself saying that it's all coming back and I am never going to get better. I kept saying that I can't do it again. I can't handle it. I'm going to go crazy. I told my mom to put me away if I get any worse. I tried to calm down and I literally had to talk to myself out of losing hope. I AM getting better. The progress I made over these past few months is amazing. I am getting out more and I am feeling moments of peace. I am more positive today and able to appreciate my progress but a part of me is still scared. Scared that I will never get out of this. Scared that things are getting worse. I wish I never started antidepressants. They ruined my life. They stole it away. I AM doing better. I AM. It was just an extra rough couple of days. I have to keep telling myself that today.

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Sounds like a wave, crista. Sorry you're still getting them -- but they should become less and less.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I am looking forward to calm waters in the future. I just wish there was a way to know how much longer I have to live like this. I wish I could know that it wont be like this forever. That's the scariest part. That and feeling like I'm losing my mind.

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Yesterday and today have been a lot easier. It's funny because yesterday was the last day of my period. I definitely have noticed a correlation between my period and the harder days. The withdrawal symptoms get amped up before and during it. I don't know why this month is extra hard. Do you still think it's a wave if it was so short (felt like it would never end but when I think about it, it was only a few days)? I have PCOS and have irregular periods. The last 3 months, where I really noticed progress, I didn't get my period. Could it be that the symptoms are extra bad around my period and I am not doing as well as I thought?

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Yup, a wave.

 

Many women report a worsening of symptoms around their period, or ovulation.

 

Please take care of yourself.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you. I feel a lot better. I hope it will continue to get easier and easier. I have to quiet the fears and negative thoughts and stay positive.

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Be sure and take care of yourself, avoid stress, it seems you might still be a little sensitive. Recovery continues!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you for sharing Crista! You give us hope!!

Dec 2004 - Put on Zoloft after having a panic attack from the Birth Control Ortho Evra Patch (the doctors thought I was completely insane when I told them I think the Birth Control Patch is giving me anxiety/panic. Funny how they tell you NOW that Birth Control can indeed cause anxiety) Started at 25mg, increased to 50 mg and 100 mg in 2007. They made me too sleepy so decreased back to 50mg until 2009. Reduced to 25 mg in 2010.

Oct 2010 - Decided to come off Zoloft to try and have children. Didn't know anything about tapering because apparently, my doctor didn't know about it either. WDs included heart palpitations, dizziness, tinnitus etc. Decided to go back on Zoloft within 2 weeks of stopping.

January 2011 - Knowing a little more about tapering, I decided to stop taking taking Zoloft with my doctors help again. She told me to hurry and taper in 4 weeks because the tinnitus could become permanent. I thought this was too fast so I took another month to taper.

March 30, 2011 - Last Zoloft pill.

Had a little dizziness & sadness, but felt fine until Aug 2011 after a relative died.

Since then symptoms include brain shivers, migraine headaches on right side of head, warm/hot sensations on right side of head and ears, internal vibrations, tremor, muscle twitches, strange sensations in right side of head, anxiety, nervousness, sadness, disconnected, depersonalization, numbness on left side of body at times, neck pain, muscle/rib cage pains,  just don't feel like myself :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for sharing Crista! You give us hope!!

 

That means so much to me. Thank you. I often think about how I can help others when I get through this. If they know that I made it, they might feel like they can do it, too. Stay strong! We'll get through!

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  • 1 month later...

Here's a little update on my road to recovery: Things are continuing to get easier. I am finding myself singing and dancing again. I am telling jokes and I am able to have conversations again. I'm not out of the woods yet but it is easier to get out and function. I find myself making plans for my future. A few months ago, thinking about my future was really painful. I want to get a great job and get married and have children and now it seems more possible. I have been forcing myself to get out everyday. Last month, I only had one uncontrollable crying and panic attack filled day and guess when that day was... the day before my period. I hope that isn't too much information. My worst days are always around my period and I feel like I should share that in case there are other women dealing with similar situations. I'm upset because my period should come around Christmas this month and I am worried that I wont be able to go to my Aunt's house with my family. I have to be there! I can't do that to my family. I can't wait for a day where I can go out and just be excited. I can't wait for a day where I can be calm and happy. That day doesn't seem as far off now. Just have to continue to hold on and try to stay positive.

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Dear Crista,

 

I was really encouraged to sign up to the forum after reading your posts. I have been reading the forums regularly for the past 2 months, searching for that golden answer to the question of 'when will this get better?'. I noticed many people contribute actively to these forums when they are feeling at their worst and afterwards disappear, I only hope that it is because they found the relief they were searching for.

 

As for me I quit cold turkey after 5+ years of being on escitalopram for mild anxiety (slight obsessiveness on negative thoughts). I could testify that the SSRI worked for me, it gave my mind the break that the prescribing doctor talked about although I wish I used those years to learn to cope with the inevitable process of dealing with everyday stresses and anxiety inducing triggers. Yes, I did go through a more than normal stressful period but my problems didn't disappear and some people manage to go through extreme situations with a lot of grace, so I know I shouldn't have expected a fix it all solution and get my hands dirty so to speak to deal with my own problems.

 

After developing extreme nausea attacks resulting in several emergency hospital visits, I decided to come off everything that could be contributing to these attacks. The psychiatrists advise was to supplement the SSRI with Xanax during times of extreme anxiety which I believed was helping at first until I went through a horrible ordeal of non-stop purging which the xanax couldn't stop.

 

All medication stopped including contraceptives, I found it very hard to eat and be comfortable around food for the first 2 weeks. Also went through periods of fatigue, vertigo, crying easily, occasional brain zaps (admittedly nowhere near as bad as some people report, wasn't even aware at the time this was common through withdrawal) then I felt great for the next 2-4 weeks, better than ever, my energy levels were great so was my concentration. After a month of no medication, I started getting anxiety, worsened by a couple of health scares (with ongoing testing atm), this made me plunge into a very dark place, one that I have never been in for the next 2 months. I felt badly equipped to deal with life in general and truthfully could hardly see a point in trying.

 

Meanwhile, I kept seeing my psychiatrist, who recommended mirtazapine (which he insists is not an offensive drug) for my diminished appetite but after a little research on it, I couldn't risk feeling tired and groggy all the time which would have just further contribute to the depression. After the 3 month mark, the night times started getting better as I could feel a little relaxation and some clouds parting, interestingly the moment I hit the bed, I start feeling hungry. I try to see this as progress as little as it may be but at least there are moments where I don't completely feel disconnected from life.

 

Today, after my regular visit to the psychiatrist, he kindly told me off for not accepting medication, the only way in which he could help me. His reasoning is that I am not chemically supported at the moment. What I am baffled with is that they study all those years to only act as a drug dispenser, I was there maybe for the wrong reasons of wanting some reassurance on my progress but when they don't even consider that what you are going through may be the result of long term AD use, this is pointless. I have made healthier life style changes lately, started yoga, got in touch with a therapist, started following mindfulness techniques, etc...for someone overseeing my recovery, I wanted to let him be informed totally so he could advise me accordingly. It seems that generally we receive no to little compassion for toughing it out and trying to make more informed decisions. For the first time in months, I feel a little anger thanks to him which is ironically a pleasant change from the constant sadness I had been feeling.

 

I feel that they should all spend some time on the forums and realize it is not a coincidence that so many people suffer from similar symptoms. It is more than likely that some of us are probably going through depression and anxiety issues perhaps unrelated to withdrawal but without even acknowledging the possibility of withdrawal, how can they differentiate and offer us the most informed solution?

 

I welcome any positive progress as you probably do too, I am hoping and wishing for all of us that they become more consistent. Even though it is scary to know things might not get better as quickly as we desperately need, it is good to see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is through someone else's eyes, so please do post your updates!

C/T off escitalopram (Lexapro 20 mg) after 5-7 years of use in September 2012.

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Welcome, mindbend.

 

Yes, you can see people do recover, and you will, too. It can take quite a while, but it does happen.

 

Please start a topic for yourself in the Intro section http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/3-introductions-and-updates/ and track your own progress. (You can copy much of what you've written in your first post above.)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dear Crista,

 

I was really encouraged to sign up to the forum after reading your posts. I have been reading the forums regularly for the past 2 months, searching for that golden answer to the question of 'when will this get better?'. I noticed many people contribute actively to these forums when they are feeling at their worst and afterwards disappear, I only hope that it is because they found the relief they were searching for.

 

As for me I quit cold turkey after 5+ years of being on escitalopram for mild anxiety (slight obsessiveness on negative thoughts). I could testify that the SSRI worked for me, it gave my mind the break that the prescribing doctor talked about although I wish I used those years to learn to cope with the inevitable process of dealing with everyday stresses and anxiety inducing triggers. Yes, I did go through a more than normal stressful period but my problems didn't disappear and some people manage to go through extreme situations with a lot of grace, so I know I shouldn't have expected a fix it all solution and get my hands dirty so to speak to deal with my own problems.

 

After developing extreme nausea attacks resulting in several emergency hospital visits, I decided to come off everything that could be contributing to these attacks. The psychiatrists advise was to supplement the SSRI with Xanax during times of extreme anxiety which I believed was helping at first until I went through a horrible ordeal of non-stop purging which the xanax couldn't stop.

 

All medication stopped including contraceptives, I found it very hard to eat and be comfortable around food for the first 2 weeks. Also went through periods of fatigue, vertigo, crying easily, occasional brain zaps (admittedly nowhere near as bad as some people report, wasn't even aware at the time this was common through withdrawal) then I felt great for the next 2-4 weeks, better than ever, my energy levels were great so was my concentration. After a month of no medication, I started getting anxiety, worsened by a couple of health scares (with ongoing testing atm), this made me plunge into a very dark place, one that I have never been in for the next 2 months. I felt badly equipped to deal with life in general and truthfully could hardly see a point in trying.

 

Meanwhile, I kept seeing my psychiatrist, who recommended mirtazapine (which he insists is not an offensive drug) for my diminished appetite but after a little research on it, I couldn't risk feeling tired and groggy all the time which would have just further contribute to the depression. After the 3 month mark, the night times started getting better as I could feel a little relaxation and some clouds parting, interestingly the moment I hit the bed, I start feeling hungry. I try to see this as progress as little as it may be but at least there are moments where I don't completely feel disconnected from life.

 

Today, after my regular visit to the psychiatrist, he kindly told me off for not accepting medication, the only way in which he could help me. His reasoning is that I am not chemically supported at the moment. What I am baffled with is that they study all those years to only act as a drug dispenser, I was there maybe for the wrong reasons of wanting some reassurance on my progress but when they don't even consider that what you are going through may be the result of long term AD use, this is pointless. I have made healthier life style changes lately, started yoga, got in touch with a therapist, started following mindfulness techniques, etc...for someone overseeing my recovery, I wanted to let him be informed totally so he could advise me accordingly. It seems that generally we receive no to little compassion for toughing it out and trying to make more informed decisions. For the first time in months, I feel a little anger thanks to him which is ironically a pleasant change from the constant sadness I had been feeling.

 

I feel that they should all spend some time on the forums and realize it is not a coincidence that so many people suffer from similar symptoms. It is more than likely that some of us are probably going through depression and anxiety issues perhaps unrelated to withdrawal but without even acknowledging the possibility of withdrawal, how can they differentiate and offer us the most informed solution?

 

I welcome any positive progress as you probably do too, I am hoping and wishing for all of us that they become more consistent. Even though it is scary to know things might not get better as quickly as we desperately need, it is good to see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is through someone else's eyes, so please do post your updates!

 

Hi,

 

I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. It isn't fair. I know that I have often felt like I am having my life stolen from me and all I was trying to do was help myself. My doctors all pushed medicine on me at a very young age. They would say things like, "if you had diabetes you would take insulin, right? Well you are depressed and anxious so you have to take these." They said it would help me go to school and be with friends. They said it would make me feel normal. When the pills did not work, they would switch to another one and then another one and another one. I have been on every different type of antidepressant out there. None of them helped and one, Welbutrin, even gave me seizures. Now that I am off of all medications, my doctors insist that what I have been going through is just a return of my anxiety and depression. They all tried to convince me that withdrawal only lasts a short time so there is no way that a year and a half later I would still be struggling with it. Then they insist on medicine. Actually, now that I am off all medicines and eating an all organic paleo diet, I have noticed that all doctors don't really listen to a thing I say. They just instantly push drugs. I went for to the doctor for my migraines and dizziness and he immediately threw medicine at me. I was like, "Don't you want to try to find out why I feel these symptoms?" He couldn't care less. This past year and a half, I have been to dozens of doctors with my list of crazy symptoms. They all insist it's all psychological and say that there is no way that it is withdrawal. Their answer to my problem: go on an antidepressant... I was leaving every appointment feeling lost and alone and terrified that I was never going to get better. Honestly, a few times I started to wonder if maybe they were right. Maybe it is psychological. What if I'm losing my mind? I had to just stop going. Stop searching for answers. I was so desperate for an answer that I remember hoping that they found a tumor or something so they could go in and take it out and give me my life back. That's crazy! A tumor? Really? That would give me a glimmer of hope? I know how ridiculous that sounds. I can't believe I even thought like that. When I found this forum, I was hopeless and scared and confused. I still have terrible days that are torture but I notice them happening less and less. I still live each day telling myself, "just get through today," and knowing that tomorrow is probably going to be really difficult, too. But now, I think that there will come a day were it's easier. There will come a day where I can relax and smile and have conversations and go out and be excited. I know that this is withdrawal and I am hopeful that it will end soon. I just wish that there was a doctor that I could go to who could understand. Stay strong. We'll get through this.

 

Crista

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  • 2 months later...

I am getting out a lot more and feeling like I can function a lot easier most of the time. Then I have days where I'm really irritable and overwhelmed and a few days where I cry all day and feel like I can't move or talk. On bad days, I have this hopeless and frustrated feeling. I have to talk myself out of thinking that I will never get better. I AM getting better. Last month, I only had 1 panic attack. That's incredible considering a year ago, I had daily attacks. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I just want to holler back to the people who are still deep in the tunnel's darkness.... "There's light up ahead! Keep going!"

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So good to hear of your continued improvement, crista.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Thank you. It's been a rough few days. My family has been so supportive for the past 2 years and I know that they will never give up on me but when I'm feeling hopeless, I fear that they might. Yesterday was a really hopeless day. I cried all day and was overwhelmed by everything. My dad said that this is ridiculous and he hates seeing me like this. He suggested that maybe I listen to the doctors (they have all been pushing me to get back on antidepressants. They think what I'm going through is just the return of my anxiety and depression). How do I make him understand that that isn't what this is? This is withdrawal. He doesn't think that withdrawal could last this long and he says that the doctors know best. I told him about all of the research that I did and this forum and everything. He just walked out of the room and said, "I can't watch you waste your life and be in pain everyday." I know he's frustrated. Everyone is. I hate doing this to my loved ones. Is there anything anyone would recommend that I say to let him know that it's not just the return of anxiety and depression? The rest of my family is on board but they have their doubts, too, sometimes. Like my mom just told me all about the crazy symptoms that lymes disease can cause and how similar it is to what I'm feeling. I already got checked for lymes but apparently the test can be wrong so she suggested that I go to this specialist. I don't know.

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As if WD isn't bad enough, we have to deal with ppl in our lives who think that what we're experiencing couldn't possibly be an injury from these harmless drugs. I know technically that ppl have experienced worse things in life like being tortured in war zones etc, but SSRI WD has to be up there with the most f'd up situations a person could endure on all levels. 'Horrific' is an accurate word to describe prolonged withdrawal.

 

I have come to accept that almost nobody - bar those who have experienced this - could empathize with our situation so I find it better to keep it to myself as much as possible and suffer it out alone. It only adds to my frustrations trying to convince ppl of how horrific this situation can be and ppl get annoyed for some reason when you try to explain your situation. Either they think you're hypochondriac, having a return of previous symptoms, or after you spend a good 10mins explaining the science of what's happened to you, they start to list of every other possible cause of your situation that could possible exist - besides the actual drugs that did the injury. It's like being in the twilight zone sometimes, like you're speaking to brain dead zombies, or programed denial robots.

 

In the dark periods, i avoid ppl as much as possible. Watch a lot of movies and entertain myself in other ways. I really appreciate those ppl who are supportive, even if you can tell that deep down they have their doubts about the cause of your experience. And those that are open minded enough or educated enough to recognize your experience as truth, and they're truly supportive - to me they're like an oasis in the desert. Such a relief to spend some time with someone like that.

 

Good luck. Thanks for sharing your progress

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As if WD isn't bad enough, we have to deal with ppl in our lives who think that what we're experiencing couldn't possibly be an injury from these harmless drugs. I know technically that ppl have experienced worse things in life like being tortured in war zones etc, but SSRI WD has to be up there with the most f'd up situations a person could endure on all levels. 'Horrific' is an accurate word to describe prolonged withdrawal.

 

I have come to accept that almost nobody - bar those who have experienced this - could empathize with our situation so I find it better to keep it to myself as much as possible and suffer it out alone. It only adds to my frustrations trying to convince ppl of how horrific this situation can be and ppl get annoyed for some reason when you try to explain your situation. Either they think you're hypochondriac, having a return of previous symptoms, or after you spend a good 10mins explaining the science of what's happened to you, they start to list of every other possible cause of your situation that could possible exist - besides the actual drugs that did the injury. It's like being in the twilight zone sometimes, like you're speaking to brain dead zombies, or programed denial robots.

 

In the dark periods, i avoid ppl as much as possible. Watch a lot of movies and entertain myself in other ways. I really appreciate those ppl who are supportive, even if you can tell that deep down they have their doubts about the cause of your experience. And those that are open minded enough or educated enough to recognize your experience as truth, and they're truly supportive - to me they're like an oasis in the desert. Such a relief to spend some time with someone like that.

 

Good luck. Thanks for sharing your progress

 

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Thank you for sharing part of your story with me. I think I would have gone crazy if I didn't happen upon this forum one day in my search for answers. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone but I hate hearing that so many are suffering. Stay strong!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I got diagnosed with lyme disease. i can't believe it. i just went to the lyme disease specialist to make my family happy. i wonder how much of my symptoms is from that and how much is from withdrawal. so strange.

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!!!!! Sorry to hear that. Are you taking antibiotics?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I have looked up Lyme disease and I am so sorry for my previous comment.

I've asked the mods to remove it. I am so so sorry if it caused you

any distress. It was posted in ignorance of how serious Lymes actually is

and feel so embarrassed.

 

:o:blush:

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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I have looked up Lyme disease and I am so sorry for my previous comment.

I've asked the mods to remove it. I am so so sorry if it caused you

any distress. It was posted in ignorance of how serious Lymes actually is

and feel so embarrassed.

 

:o:blush:

 

I didn't see your comment. I am happy that you took it upon yourself to look it up and learn about it. A lot of people are taught that with Lyme disease you get a rash, are achy and tired and all you have to do is take antibiotics for a month and you are good as new. A lot of doctors actually have the "it's no big deal" attitude. Some even doubt it's existence. I don't understand. Here is a documentary that really sheds light on this disease: http://www.hulu.com/watch/268761

Everyone in the video has the same symptoms as I do (some a lot worse) and a lot, like me, were told to just go see a psychiatrist. It's really scary.

 

I am starting my treatment in a month when my mother returns home from Italy. I will be taking antibiotics, probiotics, herbs, something to help me detox, etc. I will get more testing done a few months after treatment and we will move forward from there. I'm terrified of the treatment. It increases the symptoms you have and brings on all kinds of scary things. I can't imagine feeling any more anxious than I already am. It's going to be rough but I gotta keep going. I have a lot to get better for.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Crista I have had Lyme for over twenty years. I contracted it in my teens and I was undiagnosed for 10 years. It can cause some nasty neuro symptoms and psychiatric symptoms in the late stage (cousin to Syphilis). I am almost in remission now. I'm sorry you have it. I hope your specialist is a true LLMD and will aggressively treat it. Be forewarned that you will have a herxheimer reaction and symptoms could flare badly and this includes the psych ones. Just brace yourself. You can always slow down the treatment if it gets really bad. Might not though so let's just hope for the best!

 

Regarding your PCOS. Very common in women with Lyme because Lyme messes with every body system including hormones. Check out info on naturally balancing hormones and this might help. I take a BCP continuously due to Endometriosis which is not natural obviously. I wouldn't take it but I'm on such toxic drugs that I can't take any risk of pregnancy right now.

 

To the person who removed an ignorant comment (that I didn't see) thank you. Most people don't care. It's refreshing. I've experienced some really traumatizing things due to health professionals and their ignorance about Lyme over many years. People are much more accepting of my psych problems which really tells you how bad it is for Lyme survivors right now!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Crista I have had Lyme for over twenty years. I contracted it in my teens and I was undiagnosed for 10 years. It can cause some nasty neuro symptoms and psychiatric symptoms in the late stage (cousin to Syphilis). I am almost in remission now. I'm sorry you have it. I hope your specialist is a true LLMD and will aggressively treat it. Be forewarned that you will have a herxheimer reaction and symptoms could flare badly and this includes the psych ones. Just brace yourself. You can always slow down the treatment if it gets really bad. Might not though so let's just hope for the best!Regarding your PCOS. Very common in women with Lyme because Lyme messes with every body system including hormones. Check out info on naturally balancing hormones and this might help. I take a BCP continuously due to Endometriosis which is not natural obviously. I wouldn't take it but I'm on such toxic drugs that I can't take any risk of pregnancy right now.To the person who removed an ignorant comment (that I didn't see) thank you. Most people don't care. It's refreshing. I've experienced some really traumatizing things due to health professionals and their ignorance about Lyme over many years. People are much more accepting of my psych problems which really tells you how bad it is for Lyme survivors right now!

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice.  My doctor is a LLMD and I am currently treating the Lyme and Bartonella with Doxy, probiotics, supplements and an antifungal.  For the PCOS, I am taking bioidentical Progesterone certain days of my cycle.  I am terrified of the herxes.  I can't imagine feeling worse than I already do.  I'm am so happy to hear that you are now in remission!  That's great!  Best of luck to you!

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  • 2 months later...

I am on day 74 of treatment and I am noticing some progress. If you think you could have Lyme Disease, please get to a Lyme Literate Doctor. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Crista, I was thinking about you and wondering how you are doing and here you are! I'm glad you are improving

and hope you keep on getting better. Thank you for updating us.  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Hi Crista, I was thinking about you and wondering how you are doing and here you are! I'm glad you are improving

and hope you keep on getting better. Thank you for updating us.  :)

Thank you.  I'm having a rough time but I am seeing some progress.  I hope all is well with you!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I hope you are getting progressively everyday. I understand from what I hear

That there be some bad days in between but they will lessen as time goes by.

 

Keep us posted

Lexy

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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