Gerald67: 27th Year on Paxil (Seroxat) Please how can I come off this successfully

[Gerald67]

HI Guys - Im Gerald.

When I was 28yrs of age I found out I was adopted at birth, this news hit me for six as say in England, I thought I was okay with this news, a few months later I started having massive fears of death, illness, Cancer and kept having to go to to the doc to get assurance that I wasnt dying, the anxiety was real, I felt alone and cried all the time, thinking I was going crazy, finally after my doc had pulled most of his hair out, he advised me to see a psychiatrist, I thought Im not mad, just a little crazy but not mad.

After having massive arguments with my then girlfriend and remember smashing the phone down and having weird tingling inside my brain (it felt like) on the left side of temple and ear and throbbing, I went to sit down in a park with my German Shepherd, whilst sitting in the car |I couldnt take his panting and moving around, I felt super nervous (Anxiety and Hyper) I went to sit down on the grass and laid down, I closed my eyes and felt the earth 'suck' me under and I heard the 'sucking' sound, I opened my eyes and thought WT heck is that, the birds were singing in the tree and I had to clasp my ears, it sounded so loud and making me crazy, I ran to the car and drove to the hospital in a panic, going through red lights and crying, thinking I must have some kind of tumor in my brain.

At the hospital they did the usual Neuro tests and all was fine and called the duty psychiatrist, I told her I was having arguments with my GF, she gave my valium to take to chill me out for 5 days and an appointment to see another Psych, I saw this Psychiatrist, he asked me are you depressed? I said sure Im depressed, that woman is driving me crazy with her arguments ... bla bla .... I not sure if he even listen to the reasons, as soon as he heard Yes Im depressed thats it, he made his mind up to give me Paxil, he wrote a prescription and sent me on my way ... TO HELL.

 

I felt weird as the drug made its way through my brain, but felt great afterwards, after 6 months I tried my first taper, since that time its been a roller-coaster of a ride.

 

Twice I was able to come off, once was in 2000 for 3 months, another time was 2004 for a short time then crashed.

 

My current situation is that Im stuck on 5mg, which doesnt seem like much and believe me it isnt enough in the winter or in periods where the days are dark (no sunshine) I get low, easy to anger, worry, depressed as soon as it gets sunny, its as if Ive increased my Paxil dose, its astonishing how important the sunlight is to me, my wife tells me 'everybody is like this' I try to explain and tell her, no, for me its like a life saver and the darkness brings on darkness in my mind, I tell her it doesnt disable you like it does me. I don't expect her to understand, ist horrible when you are alone and nobody understand or wants to go there, my doc has no time for me, unless I have a serious complaint, Ive asked for so many years for help in coming off meds and there is no help here in the UK, they might give you a few pages of old copied CBT info, or even 5 sessions of CBT and thats IT!!  There isnt as with other drugs (Heroin, alcohol) rehab clinics that help you to come off, Ive looked and asked my doc for years.

 

Some may ask why would you even want to come off? The answers are poop out. Studies suggesting the longterm affects of SSRI's on Alzheimer's or dementia.   And yet depression itself is a predictor of Alzheimer's as well.

 

I tried for a whole year using liquid paxil but could get past 1ml dose, then crashed and had increase dose again.

 

I would like to push past this sticking point if its possible, maybe by changing my diet and adding omega3's, magnesium, b vitamins and other supplements. Ive tried Carni and crashed or collapsed, wit keto I felt sick after 4 days and had to stop, I do well with carbs, I kind of eat a med diet at the moment, I even went vegan but that made me feel cold and miserable.

 

I tend to sleep late at night 2 or 3am, Ive tried going to bed at 9pm and end up nervous in bed trying sleep, I also have a bad habit of needing to watch youtube program to make me sleep, I got addicted to this when living in China and feeling scared at night alone in my apartment and put 1970's comedy sitcoms on like On The Buses, George and Mildred  so I coould hear familiar voices and would help me to sleep, that was in 2004 and havent been able to stop this habit, I cant take Melatonin until I come off Paxil, I did try Ashwaganda and never again, my brain in forehead felt tight and weird for the whole night and part of the next day, never again, it felt like a bad trip.

 

After a year of taking Paxil I was given Prilosec for GERD or acid reflux and havent been able to come off that as well, I feel Paxil relaxes the LES (stomach sphincter) many other things that increase serotonin relax this sphincter such as chamomile and chocolate so I thought if I could taper completely and add melatonin Id be able to stop the PPI - Prilosec too.

 

Sorry for the massive post, Im not sure if this be allowed but this is my story. I just want to get well, Im happy and inspired when I hear about a person recovering form x disease with this diet or regime, and hope and then ask why can't this be me? Why can't I get well? I suppose I just havent found the right protocol for me and my body and illnesses that one picks up over the years, I want to heal and come these two drugs, but wonder if a person comes off an SSRI are they miserable and angry/depressed for years?  Nobody understand me, I look normal on the outside, happy even, but once I get home after talking to a cashier at the local supermarket or another person I happen to meet, Im tired and need to rest, its taxing trying to look normal not to others but to myself.  I think what might help is a hug, but my wife stopped giving me those years ago, my sleep in different rooms and that has been going on for years, she tells me find another woman i dont mind, when I ask why she doesnt want to hug me, I know that people grow apart and become like siblings, no sex, no hugs, nothing, I really think if I had a hug once a day id feel really good and calm me down, but who would have me? At 54 overweight, bald, depressed and married with kids, maybe this is why my wife says what she says cause she knows no woman would have me, I sometimes thing God, what happened to me? I had a lovely childhood, happy and then bang at 28 my life collapsed and the subconcious/concious hell started from that point. Sorry maybe ive given too much info.

[getofflex]

Hello Gerald, and welcome to SA.  We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm sorry to hear that you are having difficulty coming off Paxil.  I want to reassure you, that we have methods here that will enable you to get off of this drug, but it requires lots of diligence and patience.  First of all, Paxil is a notoriously hard SSRI to get off of.  But take heart, you can do a crossover to Prozac, which is easier to get off of.   I applaud you for your continued desire to get off these drugs, is spite of your past difficulties in doing so. 

 

Can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

Here is some information about poop-out:

 

Poop-Out

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

 Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we taper by 10% of the current dose, so that the taper becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Tips for Tapering Paxil

 

This link explains how to carefully and gradually switch over to Prozac, which is fluoxetine.  

 

The Prozac Switch or Bridging with Fluoxetine

 

 

 

Also, as we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. This is extremely important. 

 

Considerations About Stability Stop Jumping Around

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

When we recover, there are times of feeling OK mixed in with times of feeling bad.  This is called windows and waves.

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements.  I would not suggest that you take B vitamins, as these tend to activate an already hyper alert nervous system.  Two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

[Gerald67]

Thankyou Gettofflex,

 

I will read over the links later, my car has broken down.

The problem with Prozac is that I was given prozac by a psychotherapist for social anxiety, she said go ahead and try it, and at the time I had no idea what power these drugs had, I read a book that came out round about that time called Prozac Nation and tentatively took it, for around 2 weeks, I felt super confident TOO CONFIDENT like I was on COKE, Ive never tried cocaine but the feelings I had were NOT ME, I became SUPER AGRESSIVE with some kids who had a pit ball and were trying to bully other kids, I immediately threw the tablets away and said to myself NEVER EVER again, Paxil works in a very different way, it relaxes me and take depression away and makes me feel happy and optimistic but Prozac was just a high. So I dont think I would dare go down that route even though I know it has a longer half life and easier to come off.

[getofflex]

That's good to know.  Thanks for informing us of this.  You could just taper off of the Paxil, and do it extremely slowly and carefully.  You could also do a crossover to Citalopram, which is easier to get off of than Paxil.  The reason Paxil is harder to taper off of it because of it's short half life.  That causes levels of the drug in the bloodstream to vary more, and causes more withdrawal symptoms.  

[Gerald67]

Ive done the extremely slow taper with liquid Seroxat (paxil) for about a year but just could get past the 1ml mark it was horrendously difficult, thanks for telling me about the citalopram, but to be honest Im worried about taking ANY psycho pharmaceutics med as Im wary of bad trips and dont want to put any other drug into my body that affects brain chemistry, I took Ashwagandha this year and had a bad trip, my third eye area or forehead felt tight, then feeling went to the top of my brain and this feeling didnt leave for a whole night and the next morning, I tried drinking lots of water and exercising to 'flush' it out of my system but nothing worked, just time and I added that to my NEVER again list, Im okay wit coffee and teas and alcohol occasionally but I don't drink cause it gives me reflux, people in the past have offered weed or cannabis but never was tempted cause \i know what a bad trip feels like and wary of them (I did smoke cannabis from time to time from 18 to 22'ish as many of my friends did - that probably didnt help my brain)

I'm thinking that I should try and devise a program where I can successfully come off this drug finally, so I will start to use Omega 3 capsules, I have to buy Magnesium but not sure which one, Magnesium Glycinate is very absorbable and I have epsom salts to bath in as well. I didnt know that about B vitamins, \I was taking B complex on a few of my tapers as Id read that B vitamins are important, I will make a list of my supplement stack or maybe put it onto my signature if it doesnt get too overcrowded.

[michael12345]

Is that something you would recommend switching to prozac ( longer life drug compared to paxil )........... completely come off it and go on same dose?

[Gerald67]

From what I understand Prozac has a longer half life, which means it stays in your body longer and the withdrawals are not as severe. I couldn't handle Prozac though cause it made me nutty or overly confident in an explosive way, it was a truly frightening experience and will never go on it again, unless Im living in a hut on a mountain away from people then I might try.   I think it may work for a person who is really down, sluggish and the shows more classic symptoms of a person who is depressed, but I have anxiety along with depression, and so Prozac seemed to give a high that maybe a depressed person would benefits from, but not if they (or I) had anxiety that was the main problem, this drug sent me into overdrive, and said to myself this is NOT ME, I shouted at some teens with their dog and had to be restrained by a boxer who was playing football with us and I probably could have tossed him out of the way if I wanted to, it was that frightening what this thing did in my brain. Paxil, instead or Seroxat as its called here in the UK was sweet, the only way I can explain it, is that it fits me like a gloves, like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle, it relaxes me whilst taking depression away so it fits my situation perfectly (Anxiety/Depression)

It seem that you've been on a 50mg Paxil dose, wow thats a high dose, the most Ive been on is 20mg and I felt great, I cant imagine what 50mg would feel like, you could probably break a few world records and run for president as well.

[brassmonkey]

Hi Gerald67-- Welcome to SA. I'm so glad you found us.

 

Given your past experience with prozac I have to agree that doing a crossover would not be a good idea. I have found that such a crossover has a less than 50% success rate. I would suggest staying on the paxil and tapering that.

 

Looking at your signature you appear to have tapered in very large steps. If you are stable now this shouldn't be a problem. But it will be a good idea to take it slow from here on out. I would start with a 10% Brassmonkey Slide and see how that goes and then make adjustment as needed. that would be reductions of 2.5% a week for four weeks and then a hold for an additional two weeks. This will give a total reduction of 10% every six weeks.  Many of our members are using this technique with great success. It is designed to give the fastest taper with a minimum of symptoms.

[Gerald67]

Thanks, Some of my tapering is a blur and must have made a mistake with dosages, I did reduce slower than a 9mg drop in one year. Probably closer to 5mg in one year whilst on the liquid seroxat (paxil), I never attempted anything more than 5 mg drop, seeing as I had problems cutting the tablets to 2.5mg, and so went onto the liquid but was stuck on 1ml for ages, every time I tried to reduce slightly I would lose the battle and have to up my dose, this yoyo'ing happened for a whole year then realised that parabens is used to make liquid seroxat and stopped it.

So I did try reducing in baby steps but as soon as my brain realises what its missing it drags me back, I find it so hard to hold on to my sanity ... I think that its just a question of time and the depression and madness will pass, but it doesnt, Im literally scraping the walls and give in, this is the point I find hard to overcome and so wondered if diet and other factors may help me get past the line, as it were.

[Pianca]

Hey @Gerald67, how are you doing these days?