ihatelexapro: feeling suicidal after Lexapro cold turkey

[ihatelexapro]

Original title:  feeling suicidal after making a mistake of cold turkeying lexapro/escitalopram

 

Hi, I'm 20 years old male from Canada, and I was prescribed Cymbalta for depression back in November of 2019.

I took Cymbalta on and off and didn't like it at all, it made me feel really dumb, I could stare at simple math questions and nothing would come to my mind for 5 minutes straight, I felt jittery and anxious, numbing in genital and it just wasn't helping at all, so I didn't stay on it for longer than 1-2 weeks max, and whenever I quit it, my old self would always return to normal, however Lexapro is a different story. Later down the road when my anxiety got really bad, and I was desperate so I return to my doctor and told him Cymbalta didn't work and I needed something else, he gave me Lexapro for GAD and this was around December 2020. This time I was more determined and so I took Lexapro for 2 months straight at 10 mg daily, but I believe due to my undiagnosed ADHD, all Lexapro did was made me a zombie, unable the positive feelings or negative feelings, it made me feel flatline which then got kicked out of my online course because I procrastinated the entire time and lied on my bed the entire day and didn't care about a thing, also it gave me gynecomastia (man boobs). I decided to quit Lexapro, I first cut the pill in half to 5 mg and took it for 1 week then stopping completely like an idiot, because I'm supposed to do this taper for as long as months. The first month of discontinuation was cool, I didn't notice much of withdrawal effects, but when the second month came in, everything felt as though it just flipped a switch, I couldn't focus or concentrate, I felt very brain dead, reading was impossible, my short term memory was extremely bad that my digit span went from 10 to 5 (how many numbers I can remember at once = https://timodenk.com/blog/digit-span-test-online-tool/), I lost emotions, motivation and pleasure, got PSSD (orgasm weakness), anhedonia, slow processing in information and reaction time (https://humanbenchmark.com/tests/reactiontime, I could get 210 ms consistently prior to lexapro, now it's 210 ms one moment, and 400 ms next moment, so focus issues), very bad fatigue, and my video gaming skills went down the drain, I just felt as though my dopamine got depleted which is weird because this drug acts on serotonin. Now it's 3 months out and I still feel different, never the same again, though oddly enough, there was a window of 2 weeks where I felt completely recovered, orgasm was extremely powerful and my cognition was powerful, then after those 2 weeks, it's back to withdrawal symptoms. 

I just feel like it made my undiagnosed ADHD symptoms worse.

 

I really hope within this year, everything will be back to normal.

 

Edited September 19, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title before shortening

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this withdrawal, which was probably caused by the very fast taper off the Lexapro.  

 

First of all, can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

 Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

 

Also, as we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. This is extremely important. 

 

Considerations About Stability Stop Jumping Around

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

When we recover, there are times of feeling OK mixed in with times of feeling bad.  This is called windows and waves.  It sounds like you had a nice long 2 week window, which is a very good sign of your brain healing.  

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

 

What are your symptoms right now? 

 

On 5/30/2021 at 10:38 AM, ihatelexapro said:

I really hope within this year, everything will be back to normal.

We don't know how long recovery will take.  We do know that it is very gradual and takes time.  This link will go into it more: 

 

How Long is. Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

[ihatelexapro]

ihatelexapro: long term worsening of ADHD symptoms after SSRI Lexapro/Escitalopram use

 

The best way to describe my current symptoms which seem to be long lasting after months of quitting the SSRI already, is that it seemed to have made my ADHD symptoms go from mild to severe. prior to Lexapro, I could focus and concentrate, think deeply about topics, good memory, and had no trouble reading long texts, now I can't even read as much as sentences before feeling like shutting my eyes off and change my focus to something easier. Yesterday I spent the entire day trying to solve a simple coding problem, I couldn't understand how to solve it at all, I couldn't think, read or imagine anything in my head, zero working memory, it felt completely blank and dead, I got so frustrated so I took caffeine and wow it's night and day, I then solved the problem within several hours because I can begin being able to see the solution, the details I've missed, the focus and concentration was decent, my brain felt like it finally worked.

 

I just don't get what this drug had done to my brain that it could be doing this, from manageable mild ADHD symptoms to now severe and needing medications, I can't function or do coding at all without caffeine at this point, and most likely will need ADHD meds to function, I expected the symptoms to go away after discontinuing but it hasn't and it's been 4 months off already. 

 

Edited January 10, 2022 by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, ihatelexapro.

 

To start:

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.  Please include, to the best of your knowledge, the approximate date you started the Lexapro, the starting dosage, whether you tapered or cold turkeyed (stopped abruptly), and the date and dosage of your last dose.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

We don't put a lot of stock here on psychiatric diagnoses such as ADHD.   The cognitive function symptoms you describe are very typical of antidepressant withdrawal, specifically cognitive fog or "cog fog."   Antidepressants alter the brain and it takes time for your system to return to normal.  That's why stopping the drug doesn't make the symptoms go away.  Psychiatrists don't believe in the existence of antidepressant withdrawal.  Our experience here has been the opposite.

 

So that you have a better idea of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal and the healing process.

 

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain the healing process really well.  The link on brain remodeling is an excellent explanation of why you don't return to normal after stopping the drug.

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @ihatelexapro

 

How did you go off Lexapro? When did you last take it? What were your symptoms like while you were tapering and shortly after you quit?

 

What do you mean by "ADHD symptoms"?

[ihatelexapro]

Loss of the ability to feel excitement after Lexapro? Anhedonia

 

Hello, I took Lexapro 10 mg for 2 months, and cold turkeyed it like an idiot. The subsequent months, and even the months while I was on it, I felt 0 joy, 0 motivation, 0 excitement for anything in life, had cognitive impairment related to focus and concentration. I feel as though my dopamine is dysfunctional in some way and it was induced by Lexapro, which I have no idea how, since it's a drug that's advertised as affecting only and selectively for serotonin. I remember before I took this medication, I would constantly feel so excited to do things, intense moments and bursts of motivation, whether it be watching a TV show, movie, playing video games, studying, watching YouTube, I was very alive back then and I think it's because my dopamine level was crazy high naturally. After I took this medication because I had to deal with very intense stress situation, I felt as though my emotions were gone, feelings of excitement, motivation, joy, all gone, and the crazy part is it persists even after 1 year since quitting, so it seems to have done something permanent in my brain. I'm currently on Wellbutrin and it has almost 0 effect, I also tried an amphetamine called Vyvanse, and its effects were about 80% weaker than when I first used it before the Lexapro. 

I'm not exactly sure what that drug did to my brain, my dopamine don't hit sky high anymore, my emotions are very fleeting, I've tried every supplements suggested and have been doing research about this for months seeking answers, nothing seems to be working...

 

Right now, I'm thinking about reinstatement, but with a different SSRI, something like Prozac or Zoloft, it's said these two SSRIs are the only ones to have some dopaminergic effect, but it's weak so who knows. 

 

Edited January 4, 2022 by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

[ihatelexapro]

10 months since cold turkeyed lexapro, too late for reinstatement?

 

Hello, I was prescribed 10mg lexapro for GAD, took it for 2 months and felt complete anhedonic, decided to stupidly cold turkeyed after those 2 months and now left with anhedonia, slight pssd (fixed 90% now thanks to wellbutrin 150mg xl), extreme cognitive impairment. 

 

It's been 10 months, I'm not sure what to do, because wellbutrin is only helping with sexual dysfunction, there are other effects from lexapro that still lingers and impairing me heavily as listed above. 

 

Should I reinstate lexapro now? What mg, and together with wellbutrin? Good idea?

 

Edited January 10, 2022 by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

[ChessieCat]

Please Note:  3 Introduction topics have been merged into 1

[ChessieCat]

I have asked the other mods for assistance with your question about reinstatement.

[ihatelexapro]

2 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

I have asked the other mods for assistance with your question about reinstatement.

thanks!

I have about 30 pills lying around of 10 mg each, I'm thinking of cutting it in 2 to get 5 mg which can last me for 2 months, or even 2.5 mg. Let me know you guys suggestions. 

[Kiasofia]

Hi @ihatelexapro

This is our information about reinstatement:

About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

To help us better advise you, can you please create a signature with all of the drugs that you are taking and have been taking in the last couple of years following these instructions:

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

[ihatelexapro]

4 hours ago, Kiasofia said:

Hi @ihatelexapro

This is our information about reinstatement:

About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

 

To help us better advise you, can you please create a signature with all of the drugs that you are taking and have been taking in the last couple of years following these instructions:

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

 

Sure, I will add drug history soon.

Today, I reinstated lexapro at 2.5 mg though not very accurate since I cut the pill with scissors. Let's see what happens? Though it's accompanied by a NDRI (Bupropion) which is a new and recent thing.

[Kiasofia]

It is best to get the liquid version and start with 0.5mg. Lexapro is a very strong drug. Consider getting the milder drug celexa. 2.5mg lexapro = 5 mg celexa.

[ihatelexapro]

PSSD plummeted from 70-90% cured to 1% after quitting Bupropion

 

Hello, my PSSD was first from Lexapro, it was hovering around 20-50% strength in terms of sexual functions, I then decided to take Bupropion for 2 months, it increased it to 70-90% approx, and after I quit, and has been for 1 month now, my PSSD recovery and sexual function is at 1%... I feel complete numbness, 1% orgasm, it is literally dead, except for libido, libido oddly is unaffected. What's going on? It made my PSSD worse than ever before. I originally quit Buipropion due to side effects such as twitching, tics, and other issues. 

 

During the exact time when the worsening begins, I was also taking some Mucuna Pruriens, Creatine powder, Sennakots laxative, multivitamin. 

 

Edited March 3, 2022 by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

[Erfan]

How are you feeling now? Any improvement in PSSD?

[ihatelexapro]

On 8/12/2022 at 4:27 PM, Erfan said:

How are you feeling now? Any improvement in PSSD?

it's alright, still there but not as bad. Only thing that got me to normal temporary was ADHD meds. I still crash occasionally when taking something like Vitamin D. 

[ChessieCat]

As previously requested please create your drug signature following these instructions.  Thank you.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature
Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature