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The funniest / worst advice you've heard


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Time for some humour?

 

We all hear them frequently: those irritating pieces of advice from people who struggle to understand what mental health issues are like. Most of these people mean well, so it's better to just take them with a light touch of humour, giggle internally, and not get worked up about it.

 

Here are some of the best ones I've heard, from when I had chronic insomnia, and when is tarted going through protracted withdrawal. Some voodoo-like stuff, some basic stuff that you've obviously tried a million times. My mates are pretty good at coming up with some extraordinary stuff, so feel free to enjoy some of their best pearls below:

 

'Why don't you just sleep more?'

'Eat a banana and have hot bath before bed - you'll sleep like a light, trust me!

'No chance you'll stay awake after a chamomile tea'

'Close your eyes and count to 100 - never fails'

'Just take a few deep breaths. you'll feel relaxed' (after I had a sort of panic attack from withdrawal... good luck with relaxation)

'Just chill, bro' (just had 15h sleep over a week and a load of client meetings coming up)

'Just come out with us and get lit - you'll feel better for it, trust me!' (this was when my AMT withdrawal hit full power in Feb)

'Get a Feng shui guru to come and improve the Feng shui in your flat' (this costs around 500 USD, maybe more...).

A friend of mine tried to get me to buy some bracelets that 'increase positive energy' (can't remember the name of the material though sadly). 

For sleep: 'Just drink red wine until you pass out'

From a doctor (no joke): 'use liquid melatonin and increase the dose until you find one that works'

 

Note that my friends wouldn't have any problems with being made fun of - in fact most the time I laugh at them when I hear this advice 😛 

 

Feel free to share yours, there's always some gold one liners being fed to us out there!

 

 

 

 

-July 2019: 300mg Lyrica

-November 2019: 50mg Amitriptyline, upped to 100mg in December

-Jan 2020: down to 50mg Amitriptyline

-March 2020: stopped Lyrica successfully.

-May-June 2020: taper down to 0 AMT

-July 2020: back on 50mg AMT

-Dec 2020: 37.5mg AMT

early Jan 2021: 31.25mg AMT

Late Jan 2021: 25mg AMT

March 2021: back to 50mg AMT

Late April 2021: 75mg AMT

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

A friend of mine:  "Have you tried melatonin? If you wake up and can't get back to sleep, just take a little." HA

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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