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☼ AppleLover909: In recovery, healing. Teenager suffering through withdrawal.


AppleLover909

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I am a teenager going through withdrawal and it is pure torture. I dont know what to do. I feel alienated from the fact I still have a developing brain. 

 

I was put on 50mg Zoloft for one month, maybe 2 weeks more. I cant remember. My memory is deteriorating. I was prescribed this, heavily encouraged and before my gut-feeling said no to taking this medication that I was forced to take; My family encouraged me. It was flaky between 25mg and 50mg. I was switched to Prozac 25mg. I dont remember how long I took this, and 2 weeks is my best guess. One week? 3 Weeks? 2 and a half? I started faking taking it to the end of january all the way to May. I emptied the capsules, And only until March or April I realized there was dust left over I didn't tap through. So I don't think that counts as tapering, I cold turkey-ed it.  My parents caught on, I was forced to take my first pill since january in May. I was experiencing hopeful windows before this. A glimmer of something better, I felt maybe normal for 15 minutes. 1 hour. I am experiencing the worst withdrawal from this one pill after almost seeing little hints of recovery. I hope this pill didn't crush any hopes of me recovering in my brain. 


This past week has been the hardest of all my struggles through this. I just want to be better. I'm not an adult who can afford waiting my youth to be normal like everyone else. 

- No emotions besides hopelessness. 

- Memory is close to none. 

- Body aches

- Brain zaps in the legs? 

- Jaw clenched at all times. 

- No motivation to do anything I enjoy.

- Functionality to talk to people socially is close to none. My brain feels hollow. I cant focus on a conversation or understand cues. 

-  No sense of humor. Complete loss of personality since January.

-  Fatigue. 

-  Weakness.

-  Dizzy. 

- Nonstop weeping. 

- Irritability. 

- Weight gain.

 

I feel as if i'm in hell. I dont know how to continue on. I just want to be normal, I don't want to be a new recovered self. I just want to be the old me. I just want recovery. My entire cold turkey, I've been lurking this page. I wouldn't have learned anything or held on this long without all the helpful pages and discussions on here. I hope I make some friends here and share a recovery story. It feels less alone to have a forum with people like me. 

Edited by manymoretodays
recovery, healing added to title

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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  • Moderator

Welcome to SA, AppleLover909.  We have had a number of members who were drugged with psychiatric drugs as teens or younger and have recovered fully.  You will too.  Thanks for completing your drug signature.  You are definitely on a forum with people like you.  

 

The one 25mg Prozac you were forced to take may have caused a bump in your recovery, but you will regain your equilibrium and will continue your healing and recovery.  25mg Prozac is not a high dose and you'll bounce back from that.  Your youth and the short time you were on the drugs are big advantages for you, and the windows you were having prior to the one-day forced Prozac dosage are a very encouraging sign.  You will make it just fine.  

 

All the symptoms you describe are typical of antidepressant withdrawal.  They are all very, very familiar to me, whether from my own experience or from reading the accounts of other members on this forum.  One by one they will fade and disappear.  

 

So that you have a better idea of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal and the healing process.

 

 

 

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain the healing process really well.

 

 

 
Here are  few suggestion for you during your healing time.  First, be gentle with yourself.  Avoid stress as much as possible.  Though some members have reported that they've benefitted from strenuous exercise, in general we recommend gentle exercise such as a daily 30-minute walk in nature.  When withdrawal becomes difficult, distract yourself with whatever works for you, Youtube, music, whatever helps.  We recommend avoiding alcohol and caffeine and cutting down on or eliminating sugar and processed foods.  In general, eat as healthily as possible.  Reading the Success Stories on this forum helps a lot of our members.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Gridley changed the title to AppleLover909: Teenager suffering through withdrawal. Prozac 20mg 2-3 Weeks, Zoloft 50mg, sometimes 25mg for one month. Needing reassurance.
  • 3 weeks later...

This is hell. Please someone tell me this ends, This cant be forever. I cant bear this. Why me. Why me. Life was so good. I just want to be normal. Ill do anything ill pay anything just to be normal again please i dont want to change

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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It will end.  It won’t be forever even though right now I know it feels like it will be.  It will pass and you will recover. You had some windows before the forced dose, they will come back. I took an accidental double dose several weeks ago and it threw me for a good 2-3 weeks but it passed. Yours will too. Hang in there. None of us want to be suffering, we all want our lives back, you are not alone. 

Important petition calling for tapering strips in the UK  - please sign
Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019

April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine 7.5

October 2019 - about 4 Nov 6mg Mirtazepine 

4-13 Nov anxiety & sleep problems caused by change of brand & jumping around with doses

13 Nov 2019 to 7 Dec 2019 10mg Mirtazepine 

8-10 Dec 2019 15mg Mirtazepine 

11 Dec 2019 to date 12.5mg Mirtazepine 

15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 

14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide.  
2021: 23 August 12.3mg, 28 October 11.1mg, 6 Dec 10mg

 

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Are you still being forced to take any pills of any sort.  
 

This is not forever.  Almost everyone who goes through this feels that way at the beginning, but it’s not true, and that is one of the most important things I can tell you.  You are going to heal.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Is birth control okay to take during withdrawal? Currently my chest my arms are shaking im very jittery I have hope but i am hanging on 

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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This is so bad im struggling so bad no one knows im in withdrawal im in hell this is the worst thing i have ever experienced in my life why did this happen to me i just wish someone said no please dont take this pill i promise you can be better without it why why didnt i just throw up after taking it why was i encoruaged this is hellish why do i have to go through this i wasnt a bad person i was nice to everyone these mood swings are so diffucult i just want to be the same its all i want my life was so perfect i was wonderful i was surrounded by everyone who loved me and now i cry every night im suffering i just want to recover or some miracle i pray every night for some more hope but its getting so hard 

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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ill do anything to be better ill do anything to fix myself i read these success stories and they dont say anywhere there the exact same person if there is one success story that says they feel normal and got all there friends and family back i hope there is one im searching but god this is so hard 

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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Cant sleep, and doing another all nighter due to stress keeping me up. two all nighters in 4 days and have had horrible sleep in the other two days.  Hot black coffee is comfort and security blanket to the point it gets so hot it burns my hands, Keeps me up. Miserable insomnia is. I cant wait for this to end.

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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Titled:  I Survived!!!!!  I made it!!!!!  Prozac and Zoloft Withdrawal.  Recovered.

 

I'm a 16 year old who went under a short period of forced medication that threw me to hell. 

Prozac 25mg, And 50mg of Zoloft for my OCD. 

 

I picked up 4 rocks today after trying to play tennis. I felt almost no passion but it is the one thing before I took the medication that was my love. I was walking home on the verge of tears, Hopeless. Going through everything you guys are

going through. I couldn't bear with the thought of continuing life like this. No self, no identity. My friends all distancing, its hard to be a zombie and be liked. I just didn't feel anything, I felt so much sadness so much fight and no reward and no end in sight. I picked up those 4 rocks and said these will be your four reasons to live. Your chance of recovering, your love of art, your love of tennis, and your family and friends. It felt even sticky trying to think about it. My brain had felt empty just nothing to think but pain.

 

I think today is the day a miracle happened, I feel recovered. I do not even feel the same self I was today at 5pm. 

I do not believe this is at all a window, this is way more magical then a window.

Just thirty minutes ago. 

 

Everything just stopped. My brain fog, My friends and family are asleep so no clue on my sense of humor yet but I am so happy I could just pop. 

I feel hope. I randomly just felt something, I was holding the rocks and at that moment just a miracle or an angel came down and it felt instant. Goosebumps, even my thought process felt lighter like before. Positive.  

My brain stopped buzzing, I DONT feel empty, I randomly felt like I had hope for tomorrow.  I feel excited to go make some eggs tomorrow morning. Months, months of never-ending agony. I'm free.

I feel exactly how I was before I took it. I don't see motion trails. I don't feel worried, I don't feel on edge. I'm so excited to go play tennis tomorrow. I feel something when I think of my brother and my family. 

I feel like myself. I don't feel like a changed person. I feel like exactly how I was. 

 

I just made myself chocolate milk, warmed it up and I'm going to go bake a cinnamon roll with a candle. Blowing it out and its going to mark the end and celebration of surviving and me back. I have been fighting for this for so long. Every

day just too miserable and painful to endure to live. I'm okay. I am finally okay.

 

My symptoms. 

 

Brain fog

Loss of personality completely

No sense of humor

Shakiness

Clenched Jaw

Brain zaps

Memory loss/Very bad short term and long memory

Unable to speak in a conversation 

Unable to think 

Anxiety

Depression

Obsession over symptoms 

Motion trails

Random chills

Constant weeping

Lack of appetite/Weight loss

Mood swings

Fatigue/constant tiredness

Insomnia

Lightheadedness

Ringing in ears randomly

Numbness in emotions

 

These are gone. This is a short time to say but I know, I just know I'm recovered. 

Please have hope. I never thought this would ever be possible, and it is. I'm not a changed person, I'm not a mismatched puzzle that wont ever be the same. I feel EXACTLY how I was before. 

I am beaming and crying with excitement and pure happiness. With everyone on here, I couldn't have done it without you. Stay strong and you will have your moment. The one thing that kept me going was the fact tomorrow could be the day it all goes away and gets better. 

 

I love every single one of you on here fighting. A little young haha!, but your not alone. Life's beautiful. Thank you. 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
titled added, moved from Success Stories to Introduction topic due to short time off medication(s)

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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  • Moderator

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

I've merged your most recent post here, as generally we do reserve the Success Story forum, for those off medications for at least a year.  And so hope you will add more here, continue to update, and then repost in Success Stories next May.

 

@AppleLover909  And bravo!!!!  Thank you so much for sharing your present recovery/healing status.

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • manymoretodays changed the title to ☼ AppleLover909: In recovery, healing. Teenager suffering through withdrawal.

@AppleLover909 hi so excited for you ❤️🥰

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm worse. I feel horrible. I want this all to be better. I don't know if I saw a window. I felt so much better in February, I don't know what I was thinking. I just want something to get better. I'm crying every night, its so mentally and physically painful that I just walk in laps to ease the pain. I just cry and cry and cry and feel nothing but sadness and hopelessness. I feel nothing but worry, I feel occasional good feelings. I cant go to sleep, I feel too much pain. I will just drink coffee another night. I wish there was a cure for this stupid syndrome. I just hate this, I hate this I hate it all. Words dont have any meaning to how much im hurting, im reading success stories and none of them feel like anything. I just want to be me. This is so exhaustingly painful. I try to see hope, but it is not there. I try and I try, It feels like nobody works as hard as me or hurts as much as me, I just feel different. Im crying writing this. ☹️

 

I lash out at others, I'm moody. My body feels all tender with nothing but worry and pain and stress and everything worse. I dont know what to do. I want to just be the exact person I was. Will I be that? I just want one person to give me a hug and tell me I'm gonna be me again. I don't know what I ever did to deserve such pain like this. I hate the nights, I sit with my head. I don't know what to do. I just want to know what to do. How much stress can a human take? Will I have a heart attack with this much stress every day, every hour for months? What do I do?

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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I feel weirdly better. My mind cleared from a panic attack or some crying spell. I dont know how im going to sleep tonight. Goodnight everyone.

2020 December- Zoloft 50mg for a month. 25mg sometimes in this month. for OCD. 

2021 January -    Prozac 25mg  for 2 weeks (Hard to remember) give or take. 

Cold turkey since then. One forced 25mg Prozac MAY 6TH 2021

Officially off any medication by doctor. Still trying to recover. 

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  • 1 month later...

@AppleLover909 hi just checking in on you , how are you doing 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

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