Formykids1220: Trying to go with the flow and not get pulled under

[Formykids1220]

I am a 33 year old mother of 3 and it has been 2.5 months since my last dose of escitalopram. So many downs with a few ups. I wake up with extreme anxiety. Fear of death and dying for me and my family. I have so many physical symptoms I feel like a hypochondriac. I've had stomach pain side pain, neck pain, knee pain, and hand pain these go away occasionally and then come back. Constant fatigue, dizziness, brain zaps, and headaches. My palpitations have calmed down a bit. I am able to sleep I think that is my saving grace though all this. I try to walk 30 minutes on my treadmill most days and then I'm too wiped out to do much else. I'm on long term disability for some other health problems I don't think it would be possible for me to work as an RN in any capacity. I feel like I lost complete faith and confidence in my ability to do much of anything anymore. I'm just hoping things will get better.

Edited June 14, 2021 by Gridley
Added symptom

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Formykids1220.  Thanks for completing your drug signature.  Things will get better.  It's great that you're able to sleep.

 

You're not a hypochondriac.  The symptoms you describe are typical of antidepressant withdrawal, and they are real.  A person is at risk of withdrawal from an antidepressant after one month on the drug, and you were on it for 1.5 months.  So that you have a better idea of what you're experiencing, here's some information on withdrawal and the healing process.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain the healing process really well.

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

Regarding the withdrawal symptoms, at this point you have two choices.  First, you can wait it out until your system stabilizes.  As the link on brain remodeling above indicates, these drugs make changes in your brain, and it takes a while for the brain to recover its natural functions that were disturbed by the drug.  There's no way to predict how long it will take for this process.  While some recover fairly quickly, others take longer.

 

The second alternative is reinstatement of a very small dose of Escitalopram.  Reinstatement is the only known way to alleviate withdrawal symptoms.  You're still within the time frame that reinstatement most predictably works, within 3 months of your last dose.  The purpose of reinstatement isn't to eliminate withdrawal symptoms (though it does for some) but rather to make them tolerable.  Please read:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

If you decide to reinstate, I recommend reinstating 1mg Escitalopram--no more. You've been off the drug for a while now, and reinstating too much can overwhelm your brain and destabilize you further.  Prescription liquid Lexapro would be the easiest way to do this.  Other methods include weighing powder from a tablet using a digital scale and making your own liquid.  These methods are described in the following link:

 

Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

 

Regarding your supplements, because of our sensitized nervous systems the only supplements we recommend are omega-3 and magnesium, both of which you're taking.  

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

We generally recommend against supplement with multiple ingredients, such as multivitamins, since if there's a problem you won't know the cause.  B vitamins can be too activating for people in withdrawal.  Members have reported various responses to CBD oil.  You can Google SurvivingAntidepressants CBD oil  to read them, and below is a link on GABA.  If you decide to make a change in supplements, change only one at a time so you can gauge the effect of the change.

Gaba supplements - good or bad? - Symptoms and self-care ...

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Gridley

[Formykids1220]

Thanks Gridley. Do you think I could be having symptoms not just from the escitalopram but since I was on effexor for a couple years and just switched to fetzima and then she switched me to escitalopram all of these switches abruptly. Can you be going through withdrawal from the other drugs for a while also since I took them for longer than the escitalopram?

[Rhiannon]

FMK, yes, absolutely. The aftermath of years of being switched on and off drugs, multiple CTs and rapid tapers, etc. can be felt for quite a while. Just reading over your sig line, your psych drug history, if I knew nothing else about you but that, I would expect that you would be suffering quite a few symptoms and that you would probably be experiencing considerable disability as well. It certainly happened to me.

 

I do seem to be doing quite a bit better now though.

 

I feel for you so much--for me, getting through withdrawal, and off the drugs, and in general staying alive and relatively well, has been all about "for my kids", who are my life. Including, now, a granddaughter, and I'm so glad I made it to this point for her! Hang in there. Your kids are worth it--but so are YOU. The future is better than you can probably imagine right now.

[Greatful]

Wanted to stop by and let you know you  are not alone.. Coming off these meds can be a very painful and scary journey.  The meds are stronger then we ever new.  

 

Have you had a chance to look around SA?  There is a ton of helpful information.  I found it encouraging to learn about what was happening to my body and brain.  The symptoms and self care here on SA has a lot of information and peer support.  I was relieved to find out others had weird and scary wd symptom like I had.  

 

The success stories are encouraging.

 

Remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE  keep reaching out.  We all need encouragement and help along the way.. I is nice to be heard.  

 

You are stronger than you think

Take care

Greatful

 

 

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220 checking yo see how you are doing?

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful I'm having a rough go of it today and Lately just massive fear anxiety about death and dying and health problems in general couldn't sleep well last night that probably has something to do with it. Thank you for asking. It's nice to feel cared for.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  I am so sorry.  I know the pain of fear.  Have you looked through the Symptoms and Self Care form?  I thought I was losing my mind,  I mean going nuts.  I read through some of the different topics and I was so relieved to see that other people were experiencing the same or similar  symptoms.  For awhile I would get this unexplained fear,  I sometimes would look around me to see what I should be so uneasy about.  I still have that, but not nearly as much.  Increase ocd is a big one, guilt, the list goes on.  They have some good advice on how to cope with it.  One thing you can try tell yourself is this is neuro emotions and not real.  Also tell yourself these are just thoughts and your thought can't hurt you.  When I was at work I work I would have to tell myself over and over again,  " these are just thoughts and they are a symptom from your drug withdrawal. This is not you,  your thinking will get better over time" 

 

Not sleeping at night is another tuff one.  Have you tried Melatonin?  Is it anxiety that is keeping you up?  I know some people have a had insomnia have tried  acceptance.  I know how hard it is to learn how to accept, but it is very helpful.  I know when my anxiety gets really uncomfortable I tell myself this is just anxiety and it won't hurt me.  I try to go on with whatever I am doing.

 

Go on the symptoms and self care form and find the topic  "What is happening in your brain"   I found it very comforting to read.  Let me know if you find it and read it

 

You are going to make it through this.  You are strong.  Please reach out and post,  everyone here wants to help in anyway they can.

It is also a safe way to tell about your pain and get it out in the open.  Use it as a journal if that helps... 

I will be waiting to hear back from you☺️

1 hour ago, Formykids1220 said:

It's nice to feel cared for.

Remember you are your own unique and special person.  

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful this neuro fear sucks the life out of me. I do take melatonin and usually it does the trick but I don't know what happened that night. I'm still grateful because I know I have it easier than some still. I feel guilty for all the time I was on meds and I don't remember like time with my kids and really important things like the birth of my kids and the death of my grandpa who was like a father. I'm barely now processing all of this stuff. I was an RN and I'm now replaying all the crappy situations that I couldn't save someone. The meds dulled my empathic self so that I could be in those situations without feeling too much but at what cost? My blood pressure was high, my heart rate was too high, and my kidneys were working half as well. Since quitting the meds my blood pressure is normal my heart rate is normal for the most part and my kidneys are working twice as well. It's just a tug of war each day. I will have to read that. Thank you again for your support and kindness.

[Greatful]

I am sure you have seen a lot in your career as a nurse . It is a noble profession.  It takes a kind hearted and caring person to do that job.

  Yes these neuro- emotion are relentless.  I know what it is like to want to shut off your brain.  

Here read this.  It is about a women talking about her recover from benzos.  It also applies to any chemicals that change your brain.  Click on the main topic and it should open it up.

 

I know it is easy to beat ourselves up over things in the past, try to be patient and kind to yourself.  You are doing the best that you can now, and you did the best that you could in the past.  You children love you just the way that you are.  

 

 

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful thank you that was comforting to read I've been paranoid and scared all this pain like weird pains that happen in my back, neck, hands, shoulders, feet, stomach, head that I didn't have before I started taking antidepressants would be here to stay. I had an appointment with my neurologist today and she expectedly said she didn't think my antidepressant withdrawal could be affecting me almost a whole 3 months out. I laughed on the inside because I knew that she would think that. I wish I could feel interested on life right now I find myself with a short fuse or coming off as angry even when I don't mean to be. It's going to be nice to have patience again and feel like a human who can enjoy things without a dark cloud above me. I think one of the hardest things is not having faith in my ability even if I could go back to work I just don't have faith in myself being able to handle it. I have been a hermit hardly leaving the house these past 3 months. Like I'm scared of dying and I'm scared of living. Thank you so much for your support and responses. I hope I can help someone in the way you are helping me with this.❤💖

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  You are helping me just by corresponding with me and sharing our struggles.  It helps to not feel alone.  

 I have been pretty much a hermit also.  I haven't felt like being around people.  I get to stimulated and then my brain starts buzzing and feel numb.  I feel a little social anxiety right now.  It is hard to try and carry on a conversation when you can't think straight and all you can think about is all the symptoms  that are going on inside. 

 

Are you thinking about going back to work ?  If you don't have to financially, you don't have to make any decisions yet.  Work on getting back on your feet and feeling stronger.   You will know when you are ready to make any decisions.

 

You are more capable then you think.  Remember the dark thoughts are not you, they are from your brain trying to heal from the drugs being gone.  You have gone 3 months, that takes courage and strength.  Each day your brain is healing more.  You will get a brake soon that will help you go a little longer.

 

Hang in there, sending you a hug♥️

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful aww thank you yes it is very helpful to have solidarity with everyone here. I actually have been on long term disability since last June I developed a very painful condition tarlov cysts that my  s3 nerve roots were ballooning with spinal fluid stretching and causing compression on the nerves in my sacrum I'm still healing from surgery that was on 8/28/20.  I know first hand how slow nerves heal from physical injury now I'm finding out how slow they heal from chemical injury as well. It helps that I have support from family they try to understand but It's hard for them to see me like this. I was such a go getter. I used to refinish furniture in my spare time when I wasn't working or getting my bachelor's degree.  Do you find that you get sick of being inside your house and when you go out somewhere you just want to come back home? I hope you have a good support system there for you.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  I actually spend a lot of time on my covered front porch on my computer listening to the bird sing, the wind in the trees and if the neighbor across the street has her waterfall on, I can hear that too.  I try to walk 6-7 days a week. 

 

It sounds like you are in a lot of pain.  You sure have a lot going on with you,  Pain from your injury and pain from your drugs.  See you are doing pretty good in the strength and courage department.

 

Yes when I do leave home I am waiting to go back home.  There is some good that I hope will come from all this, that I will finally stop running from the fear and worthlessness I a felt as a young girl. I want to work through what ever I need to, for a happier, calmer life.   So being home bound and I find it hard to sit and watch tv or read a novel, I am stuck with myself and have to face my emotional trauma and learn healthy coping skills. And learn how to be okay in the moment.  If you want you can check out my into sign. and read my form.  

 

Have good evening and sleep well

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful I read your intro. Bless your heart ❤ I feel the same about trying to heal my childhood trauma. My father was physically and mentally abusive I decided to forgive him even without him apologizing or admitting anything. I was tired of carrying that around with me. Now I'm working on getting up my self esteem and self love. It's better late than never. I think have low self esteem and feeling unworthy of all the good things in life were big factors for me getting on these toxic meds in the first place. Today is 3 months exactly off of escitalopram. I still have a long way to go but I'm better than I was the first month for sure. I still cry everyday sometimes I don't know why just feel a feeling of unwellness and doom. I hope your day is going well and you take comfort knowing the help and comfort you bring to others.😊

[Jennings]

Hey Salt Lake City, I'm a Jazz fan.

 

Terrible they choked this year.  I thought they had a shot.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  Your right better late than never.  The hard part is going to be retaining your brain from all the unhealthy coping skills.  The wall of armor that has to be pealed away.  I found https://mrsmindfulness.com/the-four-keys-to-overcoming-negative-thinkingfor-good/

 

I thought it was really helpful and definitely is something I need practice.  As I am going through this WD I am really seeing how neg I am.  My low self esteem  reinforces  negativity to myself and the world around me.   I am now naming my thoughts. Read it you'll understand

As I have been paying closer attention to my thoughts I notice that when I think neg about myself I get that doom feeling in my gut and mind.  Maybe if I can master the self esteem issue it will stop the doom and depressed feeling🤩

 

My therapist thinks I should do EMDR but I have to wait until I am stronger emotional with this WD. Have you done that or are you thinking about it?

I had a appt. with a new psychiatrist today.  She is willing to work with me and start tapering the Lexapro when I'm ready.  I have such a drug history, I think it will take her a little bit to catch up.  I wish I could be off everything soon, but I have to take it slow.  I don't ever want to go back to last winter.

 

Yes, I do have a good support system, my husband has been there for me.  I do think he is getting worn out.  I do talk to 2 of my daughters and they  are supportive.

 

Have a nice evening☺️

[Formykids1220]

@RhiannonThank you everything is for them we deserve a good future. I'm happy you waited it out and are feeling better. Lately I've just had moments that I feel completely disconnected from myself i don't even recognize myself in the mirror or I'm hysterical emotional because of time going by so fast and I can't do anything to enjoy the moments because I feel so sick and so disconnected. It's been over 3 months at first I never thought I would make it this far and My symptoms have not been as scary as they used to.

[Jennings]

I have the same fear of losing my loved ones and of time passing.  I feel these are normal worries but are magnified 100x by withdrawal.

[Formykids1220]

@Jennings I haven't been into the Jazz since the 95 finals with the bulls and they lost lol. I'm happy I'm not alone with all these withdrawal struggles. It's rough just trying to go through the days hanging on by your teeth.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220 Hi,  from one wounded brain to another.  How are you doing?

On 7/1/2021 at 2:41 PM, Formykids1220 said:

Lately I've just had moments that I feel completely disconnected from myself i don't even recognize myself in the mirror

 I can relate.  The other day I didn't feel real.  Like what am I, who am I.  It was scary to not have a grounding human personal connection to myself.  I'm relieved you had a similar experience.

 

  I sure have been hanging on by my teeth.  Hit a bad wave.  Bad, bad anxiety with tension, depression, never ending nausea and or no apatite  and now some anger starting.  Not sure I should be posting when I am in such a crabby mood. The  weather has been so hot the last few days it makes it hard to be outside😆.  I wish I could veg out in front of the tv, but to anxious and sometimes to stimulating and if that's not enough I beat myself up. Sitting here all day in front of the tv when it is such a sunny summer day.  BLAH<BLAH 

I should look at the positive, my brain has had a few quieter times.  less buzzing and tingling.  If I have to go through this WD I wish I could be off of everything.  Knowing that I have to stabilize, then start tapering is a depressing thought. 

 

Hey, just looked at your drug history.  You ct'd both Prozac and Zoloft?  Did you have any WD from them?  You did a few med change between Dec 2020 and the end of March.  You maybe WD ing  from them all  That sound pretty much what I did.  I wish I would have stopped the Lex right away when I was having so many horrible side effects.  I was desperate and listened to the doc. If I would have stopped right away I wouldn't have to wonder what is what right now WD and effects for the Lex or taper off of it UGH, UGH

 

 

Did you do anything for the 4th?  We just went to church and spent the day at home.😞

 

Take care, thanks for letting me chat

 

 

 

 

 

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful I'm hanging in there. Yes those I did cold turkey off of those but I didn't know what withdrawal was or even if it was possible so I chalked it up to it must be my mental illness. Now it's good to know better I finally solved the mystery. For the 4th I just stayed in bed for most of the day and tried to go in my yard for fireworks last night but it was raining. Aww I should've tapered slower but I was advised by my psychiatrist that a fast taper was perfectly fine. I tried lexapro before when I was 17 I got married and moved to Oregon away from my whole family(no wonder why I was depressed) I was on it for a few months and I'm sure I had side effects when I stopped but I can't really remember well. This time when I was prescribed escitalopram I Immediately got sick with stomach pain,nausea, no appetite and increased anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I was more determined to come off this devil drug and be done with it quicker because of all these effects. I have also been having trouble snapping at my sweet kids that are 7,4, and 2 and my significant other. I Immediately break down after because it makes me feel like the biggest piece of crap. They understand it's not me.  I wonder after all the withdrawal effects are gone will I recognize myself? The majority of my adult life has been on these drugs. What has helped me lately is if I have a bad day I imagine because my body is doing extra healing at the time. I truly appreciate our convos ❤ and I'm here when you need to talk. It will get better it has to. 

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  At least you listened to your body.  I also had nausea,  increased anxiety (doc says  the Lex is for anxiety) it made may brain go nuts. I still have nausea and have no apatite.  I guess I can't go back and wishing I had stopped it, is only going to make me more depressed.  I am so hard on myself.  I did the best I could.   

Do you ever feel weak muscles?  My arm muscles feel so weak at times.  

I'm kind of scared to see how I do with no meds.

I see you also ct'd  gabapentin, do you taper that one?  

You are one strong woman 

Talk soon

[Formykids1220]

@GreatfulDon't be so hard on yourself! You are doing the best you can and that's enough because that's all you can do. Yes I have muscle and joint pain/ weakness. I tapered down to 300 mg 2 times a day then once a day then I switched to gaba supplement because it is the natural version of gabapentin I found a low cost supplement on amazon. I feel so good not taking a prescribed medication only supplements. I don't feel strong just stubborn lol. I hope you get through this wave and you come out and see how strong you are and how far you've come.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  Thanks ❤️

 I have to tell you, it is kind of funny and can be very upsetting to me. I ended up putting myself ( with the help of my pdoc) in such a mess.

I feel like a drug pusher

Every Saturday evening I sit down at the counter with my meds (lex, xanax, trazodone, lamictal, Omega 3, vit c, L Theanine), scale, pill cutter, razor blade, pill box( you know the one were old people but their meds so they remember to take them) red envelope, empty pill bottles to put the small pieces and dust into.  And cut (traz, xanax, lamictal) and put all the meds in the pill box. I also cut a 1mg melatonin into .4mg

I ask myself how did it come to this🥵  I was trying to get off of drugs and ended up on more.  I guess that happens when you panic and the doc doesn't know what he is doing.  It is a good thing that my hubby is positive and tells me you are doing something about it and getting better🤗

My therapist works out of the same office as the doc.  She is not very happy with him.  She agrees that he dropped the ball on me.  She mentioned malpractice.  I didn't  tell her that this throwing drugs at a person and on off meds quickly is common in the psych world.  You read about it all the time here on the SA

 

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful aww it's crazy what the drugs force us to do because it's the only thing you can control right now is how much of it you are taking. Just think of it as only temporary. That's what has been helping me is just thinking it's going to get better this is just temporary these feelings,  thoughts, and symptoms. My Psychiatrist tried putting me on more also. My blood pressure and heart rate were high because of the meds and my kidneys were doing terrible like 50 ml/min. Now by BP is down my heart rate is in a good range and my kidneys are filtering over 100 ml/min. You would think if your organs and vitals are going crazy this stuff is not good at all. If I can ever go back to work I don't think I want to be in the medical field or  maybe do something in the holistic field. This experience has completely changed my views on everything it's crazy. It is for the best. I can never go on them again. I just wish doctors knew the truth. I'm glad your hubby is positive it's what you need to be surrounded by right now.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220 Hi thank for stopping by.  Man I am really struggling with depression, anxiety and some panic for about a week.  Altostrata moved my Lex form 5pm to noon and it through me in a wave.  She is also having a Frogie help get my xanax on a schedule.  You can read about it on my thread if you want.

I was watching some you tube video with Michael Priebe  I found them on Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement here on the SA forums.  

If you haven't heard of him, he has some inspirational you tube videos.  He withdrew from Paxil and Xanax.  Encouraging videos to watch.  I am sure you could go on You tube also to see all of them.  He calls it   The lovely grind.   

 

Yes you are right.  It is kind of scary how we just took the meds and trusted the doctors thinking they were helping us.  You wonder if they even stay up on all the things these drugs can effect beside what they thing they are proscribing  them for🥵  I sure hope to get off these and see how well I feel.  I had a very low White Blood cut when I was on Lexapro before.  When I went to Prozac my cut went up.  It took awhile do maybe it was a coincidence.  Now that I am back on it I should get a blood draw and see if it went down again.

 

How is it going on your end? You have 3 young children, how are holding up taking care of them.  I know when I crashed a few times when my kids were little, you some how get through it.  They keep you busy.  You feel horrible but you have to keep going some how.

 

This is my life right now.  Spend a lot of time on my computer.  I tell myself not to feel guilty,  most people spend their time scrolling on their phone🤪  I have no drive to do any chores, ect. and really what's the difference, sit in front of the tv all day.  At least on here I am conversing with people😁  I guess I have to go start some supper that I probably will not be able to eat much of.  I WANT APETITE BACK.

 

HANG IN THERE💪

[Formykids1220]

@Greatful I will have to check the videos out thank you for the recommendation. Having no appetite lasted almost 2 months for me now its getting slowly better I'm still not hungry most of the time. My significant other takes care of our kids mostly so I'm lucky that way. I still have trouble not being as involved with them as much as I'd like to be because of this withdrawal and physical health problems. Hopefully things will just keep getting better and I can go back to work eventually. You hang in there too.

 

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220

How are you doing?  Are things letting up a little? how is your recover with your back going.  Are you able to move around?  Can you get outside for a walk? I can see were it could be hard to do when you have back pain and WD.🥵

 

  If you decide to go back to work, what do you think you would like to do?  Would you get back in the med field at all.  One of my daughter was a RN in post natal care, the hours were not going to work with have children and her husbands work schedule, so she got a job a school nurse.  Summers off and holidays off.  Would something like that work for you?  Of course the pay isn't as good.

 

It is good that you partner is helpful.  He must support you with the WD then.   

 

Talk soon.  I think of you often☺️

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  Hey how are you doing?

[Formykids1220]

@GreatfulI'm ok hanging in there having a wave with some pain in different areas through my body but I'm I'm trying to stay positive. It was probably from eating a cupcake yesterday I hardly ever have sweets and I was reminded why. I think I have SIBO and I have to schedule an appt with a gi doc which these meds caused also. It's so frustrating. How have you been doing? I hope better ☺

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  What is SIBO?

Did you get any help with your questions on health anxiety?  I know there are a lot of members that talk about it.  I think it can be common with WD.  It probably doesn't help when you are nurse and you know about a lot of things that can go wrong.  How has you mood been?  

 

I am feeling a little better.  After many days of depression and high anxiety I actually had really good evening on Sunday.  Then Monday comes and the dimming starts to come in.  It least it isn't as low as it was.  I concur that this is so frustrating.  I have that disconnection to myself and the world that comes and goes.  I really don't like that feeling!  

 

How are the kids and dad?  Is dad supporting you?  Sometimes my husband seem tired out from all this, but he rebounds. It has been going on since last fall.  He  is very supportive.  Sometimes I need to talk to other members that can relate to the ups and downs, the pain.  It can feel so lonely.  I don't see my friends anymore (social and ocd phobia thank you wd and my brain being all messed up ).  Besides what would we talk about?  I keep asking my hubby, this will get better right?!  8 months off Prozac,  3 1/2 months off of Seroquel CT'd  ugh

 

Hang in there🤪

[Formykids1220]

@GreatfulI have gotten some responses that have helped. Thank you as always for your kindness and helpfulness. This is such a different beast than anything else I'm used to. Considering I was put on these drugs at the age of 14 I tried Prozac once and at the age of 17 I started taking lexapro for a few months. That is before my brain was even fully developed I can't believe they put kids and teens on this crap.

I'm happy that you have had better days you deserve it. The ups and downs remind me of my hormones while pregnant but times 10 with tons more side effects. 

 

    My kiddos are good they keep me going even on the darkest days they have been my light. My hubby deals with chronic pain but he has been so supportive. He used to stress about when I was taking the meds if I would miss one dose I would get angry and lash out for no reason. He understands as best as he can I warned him this withdrawal could last for years.

 

   I don't see my friends either its weird I always worry that I will be in the middle of hanging out with someone what if I start having anxiety or other withdrawal symptoms. Noone else knows what we are going through. I'm grateful for you and your understanding. I hope you keep having better days.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  This W/D is the strangest thing.  Yes the moods can switch from morning to night.  The dark days you wonder if it will get better then that evening you don't feel as bad......  I have been really dizzy the last few days, today is the worst.  You have to wonder what is going on in your brain when things change from one day to the next or from morning to night.  My mornings are the hardest.  If I get out for my walk around 9am that helps shift my mood a little bit.   Do you get electricity that run through your brain.  I picture zig zagging lightening strike zipping around the brain.

 

They hand these drugs out like they are candy.  I have to say, before WD I didn't think the drugs were that dangerous.  Now I see how much they change your brain and cause so much damage.  You trust that they are safe for you.

  I still go through angry stages with my Pdoc.  and his lack of knowledge on how these drugs are not like taking a aspirin.  The drugs stay in your system a lot longer and will change how your brain works.  Let alone the WD when you try to stop. 

 

I am glad that you have good support.  I feel bad for the people that go through this alone or worse they don't  get good support from family or spouses, etc.  

 

Thank you for being there for me.  I am always here if you want to talk.

Here's to a good day tomorrow.

[Greatful]

@Formykids1220  Stopping by to see how you are doing?  

[Cheeky]

Hi Formykids,

I was reading through your thread and feel so sad you had to go through all of this . I’m a mother too and it’s so hard to go through withdrawals when you have to look after kids.  I admire your strength.  It’s criminal what these doctors do to us , but unfortunately they know now better. We have  our kids to fight for  and we will make it through.