Determined002 Withdrawal or relapse?

[Determined002]

my story seems  a bit long but ill try to summarize it as much as I can.

 

It all started end when I was 26 years old, when I had lots of pressure, followed by too much anxiety , then panic attacks , then major depression.

I didn't know what does depression mean before that time.

 

Went to psychiatrist  , he prescribed me Anafranil 10 mg ,Lysanxia 10mg , few weeks later , I started feeling better , even more happy than before.

 

I was on Lysanxia 10 mg just for one year, and doctor kept me on Anafranil 10 to 20 mg  longer, and each time I ask him to stop it , he says its too early and I might relapse.

 

After a year I had some health condition and went thorough tough moments , so it was impossible to think about stopping meds that time.

 

after that each time I try to stop them , I was hit by severe symptoms and the doctor never mentioned that to me.

 

So I was waiting for my life to get better to stop meds.

 

In 2010 I got married and was in a better situation , so I managed to quit meds in 2010 , 10mg Anafranil through few months taper.

 

in 2012 , I had lots of stress , and anxiety due to different factors, and I repalsed.

 

Went to Psychiatrist , he prescribed me Anafranil 75 mg SR.

 

I was on that dose for 2 years , then from 2014 I was on half that dose. 

 

Each time I try to quit I became a different person , very nervous, angry...and no doctor mentions about gradual tapering.

 

then from 2017 till 2019 I went through painful separation and divorce , I changed country , we had a child in the middle. all that let me to  forget about the idea to quit antidepressants.

 

had Divorce November 2019 , December 2019 started tapering with my doctor help.

 

I started tapering from December 2019 till May 2020 was my last dose of Anafranil.

 

From that time , I started having the ordinary acute symptoms, which lasted for few months.

 

My symptoms now are anhedonia, Not having pleasure in anything I do, too much sleep, no interest in women or relationships or sex.

 

When I was on meds, the only sexual issue I had was premature ejaculation , but now no libido, no morning or regular erection, kind of numb.

 

I went to few doctors, one of them prescribed me propanol for anxiety, second one prescribed me Anafranil and Cialis, but I was scared to use any of them.

 

I feel so bad , that my life is just wake up to do my job, eat, sleep too much..

 

can't enjoy anything I do, can't plan my future, all people around me say Im too negative , but thats not who iam.

 

My question is : am I having relapse and need to back to medication to enjoy life again?

 

Is this withdrawal? but I was off of meds for 13 months now, never imagined it will take that long.

 

I tried St jhon's word for 10 days , and gave me bad reaction.

 

I tried also other supplements, omega 3 . magnesium , b12, arginine , tyrosine , but nothing helped.

 

I will be happy to get any advice from your side as of most of you here have more knowledge about this kind of stories more than doctors.

 

Thank you again for the support you give to people going through same horrible experience and sorry for the long story.

 

 

January 2002 to January 2003 Anafranil 10 to 25 mg / Lysanxia 10 mg
January 2002 to January 2011 Anafranil 10 to 25 mg , mostly 10 mg.
Tapered over few months end 2010
January 2011 to June 2012 Drug free.
June 2012 relapse
July 2012 to December 2019 Anafranil 75mg SR
July 2013 to December 2019 Anafranil 37.5 mg
December 2019 to May 2020 tapered over 6 months
drug free since May 2020
Tried many supplements for brief time

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Determined002

 

On 6/18/2021 at 4:46 PM, Determined002 said:

I started tapering from December 2019 till May 2020 was my last dose of Anafranil.

 

From that time , I started having the ordinary acute symptoms, which lasted for few months.

 

My symptoms now are anhedonia, Not having pleasure in anything I do, too much sleep, no interest in women or relationships or sex.

 

 

This indicates you had acute withdrawal symptoms from whatever tapering method you used, and now you have post-acute or protracted withdrawal syndrome.

 

Emotional anesthesia is common in protracted withdrawal syndrome, as is loss of libido. This is often misidentified as "relapse". This should very gradually go away over many months. Alcohol, late nights, overdoing it may make you feel worse. Getting good sleep and daily gentle exercise, fresh food and vegetables will help.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

Please let us know how you're doing. 

[Determined002]

Thank you for your reply Alto.

I never imagined that withdrawal will take that long. 

Do you think magnesium and omega 3 will help with Anhedonia and numbness?

Thanks again for your support. 

[composter]

Hi @Determined002,

 

You might be interested in reading the thread on anhedonia and emotional numbness: 

As Alto mentioned, magnesium and omega 3 can be helpful in general for calming and healing the nervous system. You can try them one at a time to see how your body responds.
 

PAWS can last years so it will be important to develop good habits and routines that can support your mind and body. Are you seeing a therapist? Are you able to engage in gentle exercise like walking? Make sure to get sunlight/vitamin D and eat a healthy diet with fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans/lentils as tolerated. 

[Determined002]

Thank you for your reply. 

Hope it won't take that long. 

I'm 13 months off of the meds and I can feel some improvement, like I sleep less , wake up less tired, less irritated. 

When it comes to my habits, I try to eat fresh food most of the time. 

I drink decaffeinated coffee and tea. 

About alcohol I drink few beers once or twice a week.

I try to work out 3 times a week, either running or gym .

Most of my physical symptoms improved. 

Have one question, is the low libido related to anhedonia or are separate?

Thank you !