Tweet Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 (edited) Tweet's Introduction topic is here, Titled: Tweet my story, and they also have numerous supportive posts around the site. (mmt) Hello all. It has been a little more than three years since I went cold turkey off of 20 mg of Prozac per day. I'm not the same person that I was back then. I was wondering who I would be when it was all over because it had been so very long since I had been without medication. Going cold turkey was descending into the depths of hell precipitously at 3 months off and staying there for an intense 18 months. Many nights were spent curled in a ball in the kitchen floor in such misery that it was completely beyond words. No one in my family was able to help me in my distress and my husband did not even believe that withdrawal was a thing and still does not to this day. The suffering and despair were utterly unspeakable but God was with me every step of the way, even though much of the time I could not feel Him or any thing at all. He blessed me with a very strong will and I was ready to die rather than to let this drug continue to rule my life and turn me into someone that I hate. Not to say I was suicidal although at times I did have some suicidal ideation in terms of wanting relief, but just to say that I was 100% determined to stop this drug no matter what it took. And it took every ounce of strength and will that I had. I found this website after about 6 months cold turkey and I will never forget the day I read that it was not recommended at all to go cold turkey. But I was so far along I did not want to reinstate and possibly make things worse. I talked to my husband about possibly reinstating and he and my sons stood against it and told me they did not want me to get back on the Prozac. That was one of the darkest days of my life because I felt utterly trapped. And the withdrawal symptoms got worse and worse. My poor husband saw me writhing and flailing and begging for death. He saw me wandering aimlessly in the house and yard at all hours of the night because it impossible to sleep at all for days at a time due to the symptoms. He experienced intense hatred and bitterness that I felt towards him for all the hurts he had caused in 26 years of marriage and which the Prozac had simply masked and had never allowed me to deal with or process emotionally or psychologically. But he kept praying. The waves were so long and intense and the windows were so rare that I often thought I would never be able to feel normal again. I began to volunteer at a nursing home each week giving Bible studies and I began a Bible class at church so that I could take the focus off of myself and my suffering and keep my equilibrium. I did both of these for a season and they were great help to my healing. Although I felt I was in another world from all the people around me I was able to connect at least for a little while with others and feel somewhat normal. We have no TV at our house so I tried to keep as busy as possible no matter how bad I felt and I think it was a good thing that we didn't have the TV in our house because even reading stories that were at all exciting was too much for my CNS. I was extremely upsettable and anxious, with my cortisol levels being so high in the morning that it was a miserable experience to wake up in extreme anxiety. It reminded me of that movie Groundhog Day were the guy wakes up and the same thing happens every single morning, except that thing that happens every morning was absolutely horrific. However as the weeks and months passed the anxiety in the morning became less and less and it became much better by 18 months. However that morning cortisol rush did not disappear for a full two years. At first it would start at 3:00 a.m. and last until about 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning. Then it changed very gradually and started at 4:00 a.m. and lasted until about 10:00 a.m. then it went from like 5:00 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. and then 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. and so on until it finally disappeared. And at night it did pretty much the same thing. The anxiety would start about 7:00 and last until 1:00 a.m. and then it went to 8:00 p.m. and would end at 12:00 midnight and the gap just kept getting smaller until it stopped. But I'm talking about over 2 years. I have aged an incredible amount and I think it's the lack of sleep. My husband and I went through horrible marriage problems because of all the pent-up emotion that I had while on Prozac that was released like a broken dam when I got off. He literally triggered me with his presence and life with him was almost unbearable but because we love one another we both stuck it out. We had some horrible times, including him suddenly shutting me out of all of our bank accounts because he didn't trust me and threatening divorce when I have been a stay-at-home mom for 16 years, telling family friends that I am mentally ill and tarnishing my reputation in our community. I'm just telling you about this because there is so much more to withdrawal than meets the eye. At the same time my husband was extremely supportive and helpful. It was at his suggestion that I started to do volunteer work to help myself to stay focused and feel valuable. He also suggested that I try DBT Path which really helped with controlling these new emotions that I was feeling and had not felt for so many years. I needed to retrain myself dealing with emotions and triggering situations. I went to counseling and the counselor said that she had never seen anyone in such an excruciating state of anxiety as I was and nearly refused to talk to me without my being on medication but then reluctantly agreed. Talking to someone can be so helpful even if they can't really help you, particularly if your spouse does not believe you are going through withdrawal. I went to this counselor for about 3 months and then got to a place where I didn't need it or it was no longer helpful. My husband also found me an MD who was also a natural doctor who was able to give me an assortment of herbs and supplements that helped very much with the anxiety and lack of sleep. Just telling you these things because they may be helpful for others. Now our marriage is getting better all the time. I have not had a wave in a year. And this is the end of year three as of June 10th. My feelings are coming back for my husband and my energy is increasing. I know who I am now and I like myself. My family says that they like me way better now than they ever liked me when I was on Prozac. I am now enjoying things that brought me pleasure before after a long time of losing my desire to do these things. I love art again, gardening, sewing, etc. I have wondered if I would ever find pleasure in anything again that I used to like to do but those feelings have come back. Please be encouraged anyone who reads this because there is absolutely life after antidepressants and if you are suffering it will not last forever. Be determined and ask God for help. Jesus is real. He says he will neither leave us nor forsake us in our time of need. In closing I will also tell you how incredibly helpful Joyce Meyers battlefield of the mind CD and book were to my recovery. During withdrawal our mind is literally playing tricks on us and this CD was so helpful in realizing how vital it is to keep a hold on your thoughts. Battlefield of the mind CD was an absolute turning point for me. It seemed really bizarre after reading so many stories here how quickly my symptoms disappeared. I was pretty much back to normal after 2 years when I had been on Prozac for over 20 years. The only thing I can think of is that it may have been the cold turkey. The horrible withdrawal symptoms were so overwhelmingly intense that I was literally in hell for 18 months. I think it was a rougher road but a shorter road than the tapering. Just my opinion. Or it could have been God's mercy on his child. Or it could have been that Prozac is an older SSRI that does not carry as many withdrawal problems. Maybe no TV or movies allowed my CNS to recover more quickly. Whatever the reason I am claiming victory over this wicked drug, the devil's candy, which will never again be a part of my life. I am so thankful to this site for all of the help you all have given. Blessings to all of you! Tweet Edited July 11, 2021 by manymoretodays Some spacing for ease of reading, link to Introduction topic 6 This is the best of my recollection. 20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018. Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks. It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what. so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me. Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg. The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg. I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years. No other medications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted July 11, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 11, 2021 Hi Tweet, And congratulations. Sounds like a great last year. And so happy that all is at peace now, with your marriage, and life. I've linked to your Introduction, in your post above, and just added a little spacing. And looks like you are already lending support around the site. Thank you. Love, peace, healing, and growth, moderator manymoretodays(mmt) Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benesh Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 Thank you tweet for your very descriptive tale from the depths. It brings hope. I am there most of the days..not in hopeland but in despair. I am a child of the King however most times reading His Word leaves me feeling mocked. Which I know is never the case. In one of my times of early morning walking to try and manage the cortisol rush, I ‘heard’ “stay the course, read My Word, and hold on tight”, I cry so easily. Have no energy to do a thing, yet most days I push myself to cook, clean, etc.Being around others is so difficult. I never was much for socializing, even though others saw me as outgoing and friendly. Ah the masks we can so easily wear. Not sure why there is so much pain in the presence of others. Trying to converse feels like a marathon effort. I want to say more but am so limited on energy. thanks so much for taking the time. It helps to know there really is hope. I am awaiting the day when I can say ..there is joy in the journey. May you experience more and more of that. 2 Various antidepressants since 1995.Prozac,paxil,lexapro, Wellbutrin. 2004-2021 lexapro 10 mg 2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016 bupropian300 mg XL 2019 start taper June bupropion 300 mg. Now resuming micro dose taper.2.3% reduction. At 51.8 mg.Hope to increase reduction. 2021 January 29 liquid lexapro done by compound pharmacist. 2021 February 4 began lexapro taper 2022 April 7 start 10 mg fluoxetine as bridge. hyperbolic taper. Liquid lexapro 6.60, holding. 2022 April 27 dropped to 5 mg fluoxetine holding. held all taper from March 2023- January 2024 working with mark Horowitz, a taper coach, and doing acupuncture and chiropractic work. SUPPLEMENTS- Vit d3, B-12, Magnesium 200 mg, Ashwagandha 475mg, lithium oratate 5 mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InChristAlone Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 Congratulations on your victory! Thank you for sharing!! Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg, 4/22 - 17.5mg Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT. Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT. Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off. Zyrtec: 2016 Stopped April 2022. Effexor XR: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/19 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/16 beads 4/5/22 UPDOSE-7mg Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 3/17/22 UPDOSE-0.3mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jadenatalie Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Amazing to read @Tweet thank you x May 2016- August 2020 Fluoxetine 20mg (pooped out) August 2020 - December 2020 Sertraline 50mg (adverse effects) Dec 2020-Mar 10th 2021 Citalopram 20mg (adverse effects)- STOPPED cold turkey Fully antidepressant free since 10th March 2021. Take occasional propranolol 10mg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweet Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 On 7/11/2021 at 4:08 PM, benesh said: Thank you tweet for your very descriptive tale from the depths. It brings hope. I am there most of the days..not in hopeland but in despair. I am a child of the King however most times reading His Word leaves me feeling mocked. Which I know is never the case. In one of my times of early morning walking to try and manage the cortisol rush, I ‘heard’ “stay the course, read My Word, and hold on tight”, I cry so easily. Have no energy to do a thing, yet most days I push myself to cook, clean, etc.Being around others is so difficult. I never was much for socializing, even though others saw me as outgoing and friendly. Ah the masks we can so easily wear. Not sure why there is so much pain in the presence of others. Trying to converse feels like a marathon effort. I want to say more but am so limited on energy. thanks so much for taking the time. It helps to know there really is hope. I am awaiting the day when I can say ..there is joy in the journey. May you experience more and more of that. I know exactly what you mean about feeling mocked by the Word. Sometimes we just have to know he is there even when I can't see him or feel him or sense him in any way. And that is such an opportunity for spiritual attack. There is such a mind AND a spiritual component to withdrawal it is amazing! Pharmakaea refers to witchcraft in the Bible. Makes sense. You are on your way to being totally free one day. Joy is in the journey and a closeness to Him that will last a lifetime will be a result. Keep holding on! Ps. 34:15 This is the best of my recollection. 20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018. Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks. It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what. so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me. Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg. The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg. I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years. No other medications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweet Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 2 hours ago, Jadenatalie said: Amazing to read @Tweet thank you x Congratulations to YOU on being drug free! SO happy for you 😘 This is the best of my recollection. 20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018. Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks. It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what. so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me. Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg. The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg. I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years. No other medications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenixmama Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 congrats @Tweet its like i didn't want to stop reading your post i wanted more and more , it gave me back the hope i lost last weekend , thank you so much for sharing and giving us the strength to keep moving forward ❤️ 2021: started celexa 10mg feb 2nd feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey currently taking mag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Hanna72 Posted July 13, 2021 Mentor Share Posted July 13, 2021 Congratulations @Tweet I am so happy for you, well done. 1999-2020 20 mg Paxil Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil. 2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12 13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg 1.8 mg I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus Erell Posted July 13, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 13, 2021 Thank you @Tweet for sharing with us your Success ! It feels so comforting to read healing stories. Congratulations ❤ 2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam. 2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg. 2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg). 25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details : topic/21457 Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil Current medication : * 7pm Diazepam : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020) * 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21) I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Greatful Posted July 25, 2021 Mentor Share Posted July 25, 2021 @Tweet Thank you for posting your success story. It brings hope and encouragement to me. Congratulations❤️ https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweet Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Greatful said: @Tweet Thank you for posting your success story. It brings hope and encouragement to me. Congratulations❤️ Thanks so much. Hope to see you soon here on the other side, Greatful! There IS life, a GOOD life waiting for you too. 😘 1 This is the best of my recollection. 20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018. Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks. It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what. so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me. Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg. The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg. I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years. No other medications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus getofflex Posted October 12, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2021 @TweetI can't tell you how encouraging your story is to me. I relate to so much of what you said: the emotions pouring out like a broken dam, feeling trapped in withdrawal. not being able to sleep, being blessed with a supportive husband, and most of all, faith in Jesus. I, too, have a very strong and determined will. I would love to know which herbs and supplements helped you with your anxiety and sleep. Please do not private message me. Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you. ***Please note this is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one. Lexapro Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg; started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20 0.18 mg; Jul 16 0.17 mg, Aug 23 0.16 mg, Oct 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005, Jul 8, 0.00. Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!! Woohoo!!! other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweet Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 Hello. Thanks for letting me know you are encouraged! 😊 I'm not prescribing anything here but you asked for what supplements that I was on during withdrawal. I can only talk about what worked for me, sometimes for only a short period. Kavinace 5htp+ Minchex Mintran Above for anxiety from my natural m.d. Bachs Rescue Remedy Natural calm Fish oil For sleep or uncontrollable anxiety These were recommended bye friends or stumbled across. Not all supplements during the same time, but these helped along the way. The tendency was for a supplement like this to work for a period of time until my CNS got to the point where it caused negative symptoms or just didn't help at all. The things that helped all along were the Rescue Remedy and the natural calm. Rescue Remedy never pushed me down too far ( into depression) Just calmed beautifully. Beware of any supplement that helps with anxiety that it doesn't push you too far down and make you wake up feeling depressed the next morning. As I went through my time of withdrawal it seems as if my CNS and brain were in flux in their recovery and I needed to learn to change supplements along with this and habits along with this. Caffeinated tea helped with crying jags and hopelessness and there actually turned out to be science for this. At one point mountain dew was the only thing that lifted me out of depression. Caffeine coffee calmed my anxiety and another point. Be flexible and be willing to try anything. Hope this helps! ❤️ 2 This is the best of my recollection. 20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018. Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks. It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what. so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me. Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg. The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg. I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years. No other medications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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