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Tweet's Introduction topic is here, Titled:  Tweet my story, and they also have numerous supportive posts around the site.

(mmt)

 

Hello all. It has been a little more than three years since I went cold turkey off of 20 mg of Prozac per day. I'm not the same person that I was back then. I was wondering who I would be when it was all over because it had been so very long since I had been without medication. Going cold turkey was descending into the depths of hell precipitously at 3 months off and staying there for an intense 18 months. Many nights were spent curled in a ball in the kitchen floor in such misery that it was completely beyond words. No one in my family was able to help me in my distress and my husband did not even believe that withdrawal was a thing and still does not to this day.

 

The suffering and despair were utterly unspeakable but God was with me every step of the way, even though much of the time I could not feel Him or any thing at all. He blessed me with a very strong will and I was ready to die rather than to let this drug continue to rule my life and turn me into someone that I hate. Not to say I was suicidal although at times I did have some suicidal ideation in terms of wanting relief, but just to say that I was 100% determined to stop this drug no matter what it took. And it took every ounce of strength and will that I had.

 

I found this website after about 6 months cold turkey and I will never forget the day I read that it was not recommended at all to go cold turkey. But I was so far along I did not want to reinstate and possibly make things worse. I talked to my husband about possibly reinstating and he and my sons stood against it and told me they did not want me to get back on the Prozac. That was one of the darkest days of my life because I felt utterly trapped. And the withdrawal symptoms got worse and worse.

My poor husband saw me writhing and flailing and begging for death. He saw me wandering aimlessly in the house and yard at all hours of the night because it impossible to sleep at all for days at a time due to the symptoms. He experienced intense hatred and bitterness that I felt towards him for all the hurts he had caused in 26 years of marriage and which the Prozac had simply masked and had never allowed me to deal with or process emotionally or psychologically. But he kept praying.

The waves were so long and intense and the windows were so rare that I often thought I would never be able to feel normal again. I began to volunteer at a nursing home each week giving Bible studies and I began a Bible class at church so that I could take the focus off of myself and my suffering and keep my equilibrium. I did both of these for a season and they were great help to my healing. Although I felt I was in another world from all the people around me I was able to connect at least for a little while with others and feel somewhat normal. We have no TV at our house so I tried to keep as busy as possible no matter how bad I felt and I think it was a good thing that we didn't have the TV in our house because even reading stories that were at all exciting was too much for my CNS. I was extremely upsettable and anxious, with my cortisol levels being so high in the morning that it was a miserable experience to wake up in extreme anxiety. It reminded me of that movie

 

Groundhog Day were the guy wakes up and the same thing happens every single morning, except that thing that happens every morning was absolutely horrific. However as the weeks and months passed the anxiety in the morning became less and less and it became much better by 18 months. However that morning cortisol rush did not disappear for a full two years. At first it would start at 3:00 a.m. and last until about 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning. Then it changed very gradually and started at 4:00 a.m. and lasted until about 10:00 a.m. then it went from like 5:00 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. and then 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. and so on until it finally disappeared. And at night it did pretty much the same thing. The anxiety would start about 7:00 and last until 1:00 a.m. and then it went to 8:00 p.m. and would end at 12:00 midnight and the gap just kept getting smaller until it stopped. But I'm talking about over 2 years. 

 

I have aged an incredible amount and I think it's the lack of sleep.

My husband and I went through horrible marriage problems because of all the pent-up emotion that I had while on Prozac that was released like a broken dam when I got off. He literally triggered me with his presence and life with him was almost unbearable but because we love one another we both stuck it out. We had some horrible times, including him suddenly shutting me out of all of our bank accounts because he didn't trust me and threatening divorce when I have been a stay-at-home mom for 16 years, telling family friends that I am mentally ill and tarnishing my reputation in our community. I'm just telling you about this because there is so much more to withdrawal than meets the eye.

 

At the same time my husband was extremely supportive and helpful. It was at his suggestion that I started to do volunteer work to help myself to stay focused and feel valuable. He also suggested that I try DBT Path which really helped with controlling these new emotions that I was feeling and had not felt for so many years. I needed to retrain myself dealing with emotions and triggering situations.

 

I went to counseling and the counselor said that she had never seen anyone in such an excruciating state of anxiety as I was and nearly refused to talk to me without my being on medication but then reluctantly agreed. Talking to someone can be so helpful even if they can't really help you, particularly if your spouse does not believe you are going through withdrawal. I went to this counselor for about 3 months and then got to a place where I didn't need it or it was no longer helpful. My husband also found me an MD who was also a natural doctor who was able to give me an assortment of herbs and supplements that helped very much with the anxiety and lack of sleep. Just telling you these things because they may be helpful for others.

 

Now our marriage is getting better all the time. I have not had a wave in a year. And this is the end of year three as of June 10th. My feelings are coming back for my husband and my energy is increasing. I know who I am now and I like myself. My family says that they like me way better now than they ever liked me when I was on Prozac.

 

I am now enjoying things that brought me pleasure before after a long time of losing my desire to do these things. I love art again, gardening, sewing, etc. I have wondered if I would ever find pleasure in anything again that I used to like to do but those feelings have come back. 

 

Please be encouraged anyone who reads this because there is absolutely life after  antidepressants and if you are suffering it will not last forever. Be determined and ask God for help. Jesus is real. He says he will neither leave us nor forsake us in our time of need. In closing I will also tell you how incredibly helpful Joyce Meyers battlefield of the mind CD and book were to my recovery. During withdrawal our mind is literally playing tricks on us and this CD was so helpful in realizing how vital it is to keep a hold on your thoughts. Battlefield of the mind CD was an absolute turning point for me. It seemed really bizarre after reading so many stories here how quickly my symptoms disappeared. I was pretty much back to normal after 2 years when I had been on Prozac for over 20 years. The only thing I can think of is that it may have been the cold turkey. The horrible withdrawal symptoms were so overwhelmingly intense that I was literally in hell for 18 months. I think it was a rougher road but a shorter road than the tapering. Just my opinion. Or it could have been God's mercy on his child.

Or it could have been that Prozac is an older SSRI that does not carry as many withdrawal problems. 

Maybe no TV or movies allowed my CNS to recover more quickly. Whatever the reason I am claiming victory over this wicked drug, the devil's candy, which will never again be a part of my life. I am so thankful to this site for all of the help you all have given.

Blessings to all of you!

Tweet

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
Some spacing for ease of reading, link to Introduction topic

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

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manymoretodays

Hi Tweet,

And congratulations.  Sounds like a great last year.  And so happy that all is at peace now, with your marriage, and life.

 

I've linked to your Introduction, in your post above, and just added a little spacing.  And looks like you are already lending support around the site.

 

Thank you.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays(mmt)

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Thank you tweet for your very descriptive tale from the depths. It brings hope.  I am there most of the days..not in hopeland but in despair. I am a child of the King however most times reading His Word leaves me feeling mocked. Which I know is never the case.

In one of my times of early morning walking to try and manage the cortisol rush, I ‘heard’ “stay the course, read My Word, and hold on tight”,

I cry so easily. Have no energy to do a thing, yet most days I push myself to cook, clean, etc.Being around others is so difficult. I never was much for socializing, even though others saw me as outgoing and friendly. Ah the masks we can so easily wear. Not sure why there is so much pain in the presence of others. Trying to converse feels like a marathon effort. 
I want to say more but am so limited on energy. thanks so much for taking the time.

It helps to know there really is hope.

I am awaiting the day when I can say ..there is joy in the journey. May you experience more and more of that.

  •  1995 -1998 prozac 20 mg; unsuccessful C.T.
  • 1998-2004 paxil 10 mg ; unsuccessful C.T. 
  •  2004-current  lexapro 10 mg
  •  2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016  bupropian300 mg XL
  • 2019  start taper June-;alternated between 300 mg and 150 mg XL (as per PCP guidelines) until  reached daily bupropian 150 mg XL in December 2019
  • 2020 January-March skipping 1 -4 days in between 150 mg XL then crashed mid month March
  • 2020 March-April resumed skipping every 3 days
  • 2020 April 28 began splitting bupropion 75 mg HCL and taking 37.5 mg am &  pm
  • 2020 April discovered SA and the brassmonkey slide taper; making own pills now
  • 2020 June 10-71.3 mg bupropion HCL (2 pills daily -divided);July 10 -67.7 mg;August 9 -64.3;August 31-61.1;September 21-58.0; October 12-55.1; November 2-52.4 mg bupropion HCL;December 3-8 -49.8; reinstated December 9 -52.4mg,ALL ARE GENERIC
  • 2021 January 7 liquid taper of Wellbutrin done by compound pharmacist .
  • Same amount as before. Staying at 52.4 mg. HOLD.
  • 2021 January 29 liquid lexapro done by compound pharmacist.
  • 2021 February 4 began  taper at 10% 9.0mg. Held for a while.
  • 2021 June 14 resumed taper, 2.5% reduction, 8.8 mg.
  • 2021 June 28 2.5% reduction 8.6mg.
  • 2021 September 13 2.5% reduction 8.4 mg.
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InChristAlone

Congratulations on your victory! Thank you for sharing!! 

Nexium and other PPIs: 1997-2019. Currently Nexium 20mg

Lexapro: 2003-2018 back and forth between 20mg and 10mg. June 2018 CT.

Luvox for a few weeks, then Reinstated Lexapro 20mg. April 2018 quit Lexapro CT.

Buspirone: 2013-2017 10mg on and off.

Zyrtec: 2016 Still on.

Effexor: August 2018-150mg. Sept. 2019-139 mg. Oct. 2019-122mg Dec 2019-112mg Feb. 2020-101mg Apr 2020-93mg

May 2020-75mg Aug 2020-66mg Sept 2020-53mg Nov 2020-37.5mg 12/14/20-20mg 1/18/21-12mg 2/15/21-7mg/17 beads 8/23/21-6.3mg/15 beads

Klonopin: August 2018 2mg daily. April 2019 began taper. June 2019 .25mg. Sept. 2019. 0.2mg. 

 

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Jadenatalie

Amazing to read @Tweet thank you :) x

May 2016- August 2020 Fluoxetine 20mg (pooped out)

 

August 2020 - December 2020 Sertraline 50mg (adverse effects)

 

December 2020 - March 10th 2021 Citalopram 20mg (adverse effects)- STOPPED cold turkey. 

 

Fully antidepressant free since 10th March 2021. 

 

Take occasional propranolol 10mg.

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On 7/11/2021 at 4:08 PM, benesh said:

Thank you tweet for your very descriptive tale from the depths. It brings hope.  I am there most of the days..not in hopeland but in despair. I am a child of the King however most times reading His Word leaves me feeling mocked. Which I know is never the case.

In one of my times of early morning walking to try and manage the cortisol rush, I ‘heard’ “stay the course, read My Word, and hold on tight”,

I cry so easily. Have no energy to do a thing, yet most days I push myself to cook, clean, etc.Being around others is so difficult. I never was much for socializing, even though others saw me as outgoing and friendly. Ah the masks we can so easily wear. Not sure why there is so much pain in the presence of others. Trying to converse feels like a marathon effort. 
I want to say more but am so limited on energy. thanks so much for taking the time.

It helps to know there really is hope.

I am awaiting the day when I can say ..there is joy in the journey. May you experience more and more of that.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling mocked by the Word. Sometimes we just have to know he is there even when I can't see him or feel him or sense him in any way. And that is such an opportunity for spiritual attack. There is such a mind AND a spiritual component to withdrawal it is amazing! Pharmakaea refers to witchcraft in the Bible. Makes sense. You are on your way to being totally free one day. Joy is in the journey and a closeness to Him that will last a lifetime will be a result. Keep holding on! Ps. 34:15

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

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2 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

Amazing to read @Tweet thank you :) x

Congratulations to YOU on being drug free! SO happy for you 😘

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

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Phoenixmama

congrats @Tweet its like i didn't want to stop reading your post i wanted more and more , it gave me back the hope i lost last weekend , thank you so much for sharing and giving us the strength to keep moving forward ❤️

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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Hanna72

Congratulations @Tweet 
I am so happy for you, well done.

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8 20/9 5.2 20/10 4.7

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Thank you @Tweet for sharing with us your Success !

It feels so comforting to read healing stories.

 

Congratulations ❤

2006 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, taper to 0.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22 Aug 2019 updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

* 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* Prozac : 6.8 mg (15 Sept 2021)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 2021)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 2021)

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Greatful

@Tweet  Thank you for posting your success story. 

It brings hope and encouragement to me. 

Congratulations❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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2 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Tweet  Thank you for posting your success story. 

It brings hope and encouragement to me. 

Congratulations❤️

Thanks so much. Hope to see you soon here on the other side, Greatful! There IS life, a GOOD life waiting for you too. 😘

 

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

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  • 2 months later...
  • Moderator
getofflex

@TweetI can't tell you how encouraging your story is to me.  I relate to so much of what you said: the emotions pouring out like a broken dam, feeling trapped in withdrawal. not being able to sleep, being blessed with a supportive husband, and most of all, faith in Jesus.  I, too, have a very strong and determined will.  

 

I would love to know which herbs and supplements helped you with your anxiety and sleep.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06 

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone nightly, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at breakfast, 3 PM 

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Hello. Thanks for letting me know you are encouraged! 😊 I'm not prescribing anything here but you asked for what supplements that I was on during withdrawal.

I can only talk about what worked for me, sometimes for only  a short period. 

Kavinace 

5htp+

Minchex 

Mintran 

Above for anxiety from my natural m.d.

 

Bachs Rescue Remedy

Natural calm

Fish oil 

For sleep or uncontrollable anxiety

These were recommended bye friends or stumbled across.

 

Not all supplements during the same time, but these helped along the way.

The tendency was for a supplement like this to work for a period of time until my CNS got to the point where it caused negative symptoms or just didn't help at all. The things that helped all along were the Rescue Remedy and the natural calm. Rescue Remedy never pushed me down too far ( into depression)

Just calmed beautifully.

Beware of any supplement that helps with anxiety that it doesn't push you too far down and make you wake up feeling depressed the next morning.

As I went through my time of withdrawal it seems as if my CNS and brain were in flux in their recovery and I needed to learn to change supplements along with this and habits along with this.

Caffeinated tea helped with crying jags and hopelessness and there actually turned out to be science for this.

At one point mountain dew was the only thing that lifted me out of depression.

Caffeine coffee calmed my anxiety and another point.

Be flexible and be willing to try anything. 

Hope this helps! ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

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