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Shellbell: Struggling really bad


Shellbell

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  • Mentor

  @Shellbell  I it so nice to hear some spring in your voice❤️ 

This is going to work and you will feel some relief.  YEAH‼️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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@Frogie

i don’t think reinstating worked. I woke up today more panic and terror. I just can’t shut my mind off of everything. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t go on like this anymore 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
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  • Moderator

@Shellbell

 

It takes more than a day or so for the diazepam to be take effect. You might give it a couple more days and see what happens.

 

Try to focus on good things and not the bad. Do some meditation, go for a walk. A little self help goes a long way 😊

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Administrator

Please let us know how you're doing. 0.5mg is a place to start, it's possible your "sweet spot" is a higher dosage. It would be best if you can get a continuing prescription.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata

i am just not doing well today to be honest. Thank you for trying to help me. I’m terrified that reinstating after 7 months is going to make me feel worse. I’m terrified that I’m just not going to make it much longer. The panic. Suicidal thoughts are so overwhelming today. My brain just won’t quiet down. I’m panicking about everything and it just sucks. Scared to take meds. Scared to not try something. It’s ridiculous 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment
  • Administrator

What time today did you take diazepam?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata

 

i take it at night to try and help insomnia 

I took it last night at 8:30. Same the night before 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment
  • Administrator

What was the effect when you took it last night?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata

i was able to sleep on and off. But my mind was just so stressed about taking a benzo again. That it caused sporadic sleep and waking up panicking about it. My brain just won’t shut off

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment
  • Administrator

So 0.5mg helped you sleep?

 

Are you spinning yourself up by worrying about taking diazepam? If you are making yourself worry, you can control this source of your symptoms. Did you ever work with a psychotherapist?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata

 

yes I’m definitely spinning myself into a panic. Been doing it for a long time

i work with a therapist twice a week. Helps a very small amount. I just have convinced myself that there is only one way out of this. And it’s a horrific option. 
I just need to give it more time I guess. Not sure what else to do

thank you for helping me. I appreciate you very much

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment
  • Administrator
16 minutes ago, Shellbell said:

I just have convinced myself that there is only one way out of this. And it’s a horrific option. 

 

Well, if you don't like it, stop believing in it.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

@Altostrata

 

thank you for all your help. Truly is appreciated

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment

Things just aren’t getting better. I’m terrified that this is my life now. I’m just counting down the days now and coming very close to just giving up. I just can’t stand it anymore. The inner agitation and ruminating thoughts have taken over my life. And I just feel deep down that there is no more hope. I’m completely lost. Alone and terrified. I appreciate everyone on this site for giving me encouragement. I pray for everyone to heal and get better

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment

Shellbell you can do it! Dont forget you had three decent days recently. That is already a huge thing 🙂 It will get better and you will be so so strong and life will be amazing again.

2010-2020: Venlafaxine (between 37.5mg and 225mg (CT twice from low doses 2018, 2020) and Trazodone (between 25 and 50mg, CTd twice without problems)

April 2021: Crash with OCD, anxiety, akathisia after taking benzo and microdosing mushrooms

11th June-2nd July(3 weeks total): Seroquel 150mg, Seroquel XR 50mg, Trazodone 150mg, Zoldem 10mg

July 2nd-Feb 15: Venlafaxine between 37,5 and 75mg, Olanzapine between 2,5 and 5mg

August 22nd: introduce 0.5mg Lorazepam (0.25 10am, 0.25 7pm) December 7th: stop morning dose Lorazepam without problems

January 10: Reduce evening dose from 0.2mg to 0,15, cant sleep and take 1.5mg Lorazepam, plus forgot to take my Venlafaxine that day

--> severe crash with suicidal akathisia

go up with Lorazepam to 4mgs, starting 4mgs on March 28th

February 15th: increase Venlafaxine to 93,75, tried 150 with bad reaction, slight increase seemed to settle the akathisia a bit

June 14 lose sleep, return of akathisia in full force 20th June increase Lorazepam to 5mg 

current medication: Venlafaxine 93,75mg (8am) Olanzapine 3mg (9:30pm), Lorazepam 5mg taken 4x daily at 8-12-17-21:30 o'clock

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Thank you everyone for all your support. I’m leaving now. I wish everyone good luck and healing 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment

Shellbell, please dont leave, before you do anything rash, go to a hospital, it is not written in stone that they cant help you. If you really cant take it anymore please do that before harming yourself. Please you will get through this one way or another!

2010-2020: Venlafaxine (between 37.5mg and 225mg (CT twice from low doses 2018, 2020) and Trazodone (between 25 and 50mg, CTd twice without problems)

April 2021: Crash with OCD, anxiety, akathisia after taking benzo and microdosing mushrooms

11th June-2nd July(3 weeks total): Seroquel 150mg, Seroquel XR 50mg, Trazodone 150mg, Zoldem 10mg

July 2nd-Feb 15: Venlafaxine between 37,5 and 75mg, Olanzapine between 2,5 and 5mg

August 22nd: introduce 0.5mg Lorazepam (0.25 10am, 0.25 7pm) December 7th: stop morning dose Lorazepam without problems

January 10: Reduce evening dose from 0.2mg to 0,15, cant sleep and take 1.5mg Lorazepam, plus forgot to take my Venlafaxine that day

--> severe crash with suicidal akathisia

go up with Lorazepam to 4mgs, starting 4mgs on March 28th

February 15th: increase Venlafaxine to 93,75, tried 150 with bad reaction, slight increase seemed to settle the akathisia a bit

June 14 lose sleep, return of akathisia in full force 20th June increase Lorazepam to 5mg 

current medication: Venlafaxine 93,75mg (8am) Olanzapine 3mg (9:30pm), Lorazepam 5mg taken 4x daily at 8-12-17-21:30 o'clock

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@ShellbellI agree with @Neonthat you should go to the hospital. If you cannot do this on your own get help and then try again when you are feeling better. It’s just not worth harming yourself or taking your own life. Please take care of yourself ❤️

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

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@Shellbellhow are you doing today? I hope you are feeling better. 

My son who is in withdrawal's history:

2006 - 2021 Started on Celexa 10mg, increased to 20mg then 40mg.

May 2021: Started to taper off. Down to 0mg by end of July under doctor's care.

September 2021 started 200mg magnesium twice per day, 1000mg fish oil once per day, Vitamin D3, and 100mg N-acetyl cysteine twice per day.

Oct. 12, 2021: Reinstated at 1mg liquid Celexa per day to hopefully alleviate intrusive thoughts (never had them before quitting Celexa).

Nov. 1, 2021: Was supposed to increase to 2mg Celexa per day, but he was accidentally only taking 0.1ml per day. 

Nov. 18, 2021: Increased to 2mg liquid Celexa per day after realizing he was not taking the correct dosage for 17 days.

Dec 29, 2021: Increased to 3mg liquid Celexa. Jan 31, 2022: Increased to 4mg liquid Celexa.

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This thread haunts me 😢😢😢 I keep coming back to see if she’s okay 

~Lexapro 5mg 2009;  ~increased to 10mg; 2013ish.  ~increased to 20mg; 2017
~January 2021 had an episode of Serotonin Syndrome (from one single 50mg dose of trazodone) reduced from 20mg to 10mg. 
~Mid April 2021- Followed doctors taper schedule to get off lex. Within 6ish weeks I went from 10mg to 5mg and then 5mg every other day and then every 3 days and then quit. 
~Early June 2021 stopped Lexapro 

~July 5th; reinstated 2.5 mg Lexapro 

~July 6th; started atenolol 12.5 2x day for heart palpitations (resting bpm 110). 
~July 19th; upped to 3.75

~Sept 12; Updose 5mg (want WD to go AWAY-no longer trying to get off Lexapro. Want my life back!)

Lansoprazole 2000-2021

~July 27th 2021 breaking capsules and removing 40 tiny beads 

~Sept 2021- worked up to removing 300 of the 500 beads

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45 minutes ago, Anya324 said:

This thread haunts me 😢😢😢 I keep coming back to see if she’s okay 

Me, too. I keep doing the same. I do so hope she is okay. 

My son who is in withdrawal's history:

2006 - 2021 Started on Celexa 10mg, increased to 20mg then 40mg.

May 2021: Started to taper off. Down to 0mg by end of July under doctor's care.

September 2021 started 200mg magnesium twice per day, 1000mg fish oil once per day, Vitamin D3, and 100mg N-acetyl cysteine twice per day.

Oct. 12, 2021: Reinstated at 1mg liquid Celexa per day to hopefully alleviate intrusive thoughts (never had them before quitting Celexa).

Nov. 1, 2021: Was supposed to increase to 2mg Celexa per day, but he was accidentally only taking 0.1ml per day. 

Nov. 18, 2021: Increased to 2mg liquid Celexa per day after realizing he was not taking the correct dosage for 17 days.

Dec 29, 2021: Increased to 3mg liquid Celexa. Jan 31, 2022: Increased to 4mg liquid Celexa.

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  • Mentor

@Shellbell  Hi,  I hope you are feeling better.  I see that you  just visit the site within the last half hour.  Are you still taking a small dose of the Klonopin?  Please check in so we know that you are okay❤️ 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

Sorry I have not been responding. Still not feeling well. My lupus and thyroid are also not doing Well. I’m very sick. But still here. Thank you to everyone who is showing concern about me. Much appreciated for sure. 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment
2 minutes ago, Shellbell said:

Sorry I have not been responding. Still not feeling well. My lupus and thyroid are also not doing Well. I’m very sick. But still here. Thank you to everyone who is showing concern about me. Much appreciated for sure. 

Hang in there friend!!! We are in this together even though we’re far apart!!! We’ve all got this!!! 

~Lexapro 5mg 2009;  ~increased to 10mg; 2013ish.  ~increased to 20mg; 2017
~January 2021 had an episode of Serotonin Syndrome (from one single 50mg dose of trazodone) reduced from 20mg to 10mg. 
~Mid April 2021- Followed doctors taper schedule to get off lex. Within 6ish weeks I went from 10mg to 5mg and then 5mg every other day and then every 3 days and then quit. 
~Early June 2021 stopped Lexapro 

~July 5th; reinstated 2.5 mg Lexapro 

~July 6th; started atenolol 12.5 2x day for heart palpitations (resting bpm 110). 
~July 19th; upped to 3.75

~Sept 12; Updose 5mg (want WD to go AWAY-no longer trying to get off Lexapro. Want my life back!)

Lansoprazole 2000-2021

~July 27th 2021 breaking capsules and removing 40 tiny beads 

~Sept 2021- worked up to removing 300 of the 500 beads

Link to comment
7 minutes ago, Shellbell said:

Sorry I have not been responding. Still not feeling well. My lupus and thyroid are also not doing Well. I’m very sick. But still here. Thank you to everyone who is showing concern about me. Much appreciated for sure. 

I'm so glad you are OK, although I wish you were feeling better. My heart goes out to you. 

My son who is in withdrawal's history:

2006 - 2021 Started on Celexa 10mg, increased to 20mg then 40mg.

May 2021: Started to taper off. Down to 0mg by end of July under doctor's care.

September 2021 started 200mg magnesium twice per day, 1000mg fish oil once per day, Vitamin D3, and 100mg N-acetyl cysteine twice per day.

Oct. 12, 2021: Reinstated at 1mg liquid Celexa per day to hopefully alleviate intrusive thoughts (never had them before quitting Celexa).

Nov. 1, 2021: Was supposed to increase to 2mg Celexa per day, but he was accidentally only taking 0.1ml per day. 

Nov. 18, 2021: Increased to 2mg liquid Celexa per day after realizing he was not taking the correct dosage for 17 days.

Dec 29, 2021: Increased to 3mg liquid Celexa. Jan 31, 2022: Increased to 4mg liquid Celexa.

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Just remember Shell, you are not alone. We are all here holding your hand, across the seas x

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

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Thanks for responding @Shellbellwe all care about you very much, I hope you feel better soon ❤️

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

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  • 2 weeks later...

I suffered suicidal thoughts 2 years ago, for about 7 months, and it was the most horrible experience I've suffered. I fortunately ended up with them with meditation (mindfulness), 2 hours per day, that in almost 3 weeks, erased my suicidal ideation from my mind. 

 

Since then, I've been practicing mindfulness everyday, between 2/3 hours per day, with an a strong improvement in almost all the fields (cognitive, animical). 

 

6 months ago, I reinstated the drug, and since then, the improvement has been really patent, the combination of a low dose (12.5 mg of sertraline, the minimum therapeutic dose is 50 mg) plus meditation, plus yoga has been really satisfying. 

 

Probably you're suffering suicidal thoughts due to the fast tapering.. if I were you I would try with an a reinstantment and mindfulness. 

 

Hope you're getting better, best whishes, 

 

David

July 2017 - started Zoloft 50 mg, 30 days taking the drug

Cold Turkey interruption after 30 days

Oct 17 - Intrusive thoughts, horrible cognitive deficits, anger episodes, suicidal thoughts appear, horrible akathisia

Apr 21 - Start Zoloft again at 6.25 mg. Then 9 and finally 12.5. 

Mc 22 - Increased to 18.75 mg, stayed 15 days. Increased to 25 mg, stayed 15 days. 

Apr 22 - Increased to 37.5 mg. Stayed 4 weeks

My 22 - Increased to 50 mg. Suffered no kindling. Began to stabilize after 8 weeks on 50 mg, after years of suffering. 

Extra-activities: mindfulness (2-3 hours), yoga (30 min) and physical exercise (30 min) per day. 

Supplements: Omega 3 DHA 250 mg, Magnesium 300 mg, Vitamin D 1000 ui, multivitamin. 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Shellbell  Hi, stopping by to see how you  are doing and if you are still taking the benzo?❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

@Grateful

thank you for checking on me. I did not continue with the benzo. It didn’t work for me. 
still not doing very well. Dizzy. Insomnia. Blurry vision. Anxiety. Depression still happening every day. Honestly not sure how much longer I can continue on. 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment

Hi @Shellbellit’s good to hear from you. I’m now in a Klonopin taper and have everything you describe and some more for good measure 🤪 I honestly don’t know how I would get through this without all the work I have put in, specifically meditation and mindfulness. And I continue to do the work every single day.

 

It was really difficult in the very beginning when I didn’t have the skills so I do understand. I had to suffer for 8 solid months before I realized this. Not that the suffering went away overnight but I realized that if I changed my attitude and started to do the work regardless of what my mind told me I would put myself on the road to healing. 

 

What you’re feeling is real and it can feel brutal. But you do have the power to start to change the trajectory of your suffering. Start coming up with a plan for yourself, healthy habits you can start to create. (Gratitude, meditation, mindfulness, nature walks, positive self talk) Whether you believe it or not you’re writing your own story. You have to want to change the story, only you can do this.
 

So if you’re tired of feeling this way then change the part that you can. It is possible to feel pain without suffering, this lies in our attitude and what we are telling ourselves about our experience. If you can’t change your symptoms then change your attitude towards them, show yourself some love and learn to let go of the suffering. 

 

 I’m really rooting for you 💖

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

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  • 1 month later...

Hi @Shellbellhow are you doing?

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

Link to comment

@Mia1

thank you for checking on me. Hope you are doing well

 

ive had a couple good days. However I am still struggling every day. My mind is just struggling with negative thoughts. Suicidal thoughts still present 

insomnia is a beast. Fatigue is ridiculous. Depression and anxiety. 
 

just don’t really feel it will be over. Don’t feel that my mind will ever be the same 

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment

Hi @Shellbellit’s good to hear from you. I’m so happy you had a couple good days, that’s amazing!! Have you ever listened to binaural beats? It’s very soothing and it’s supposed to put your brain in a state of meditation. I’m going to attach a link, you may find it helpful. I’m sending you a lot of healing love and energy and pray you have more good days soon ❤️🙏

 

Completely drug free 11/26/22 🎉

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Mentor

@ShellbellHow are you doing Shellbell?❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

@greatful

 

thank you for reaching out. I am still struggling every day. My lupus is out of control. Took some pain meds and hope it didn't make things worse. I am beyond exhausted every day all day, yet no sleep at night unless I take something

the suicidal depression is still hanging on and it's horrific

 

how are you doing?

  • 5-28-20 given cymbalta. Had bad reaction. Stopped immediately. 
  • 6-20-20 stopped vicodin after 5 years. Suffered akathesia. 
  • 7-20-20 to 11-13-20 mirtazapine. On 7.5 tapered for 8 weeks  jumped off at 1.5
  • 11/20 to Feb 3. .25 klonopin, tapered 4 weeks. Jumped off at .0935
  • present - med free. Still suffering from akathesia, insomnia,depression and anxiety
  • melatonin 1mg. Magnesium 400mg daily
  • Vicodin one week. Stopped 12-5-21
  • temezapam prn 
  • sonata sleeping pill. Prn 
  • tried kratom for one week
  • 1-15-22 - symptoms - visual issues, dizziness, severe brain fog, suicidal ideations
Link to comment

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