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Kat66: should I reinstate or plough on drug free?


Kat66

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On 9/12/2021 at 10:30 PM, Greatful said:

@Kat66  The walk helped a little, it lifted the depression to a more manageable state.  

I got to restless and decided I  needed to go for a drive.  Hubby and I went to one daughter house for a little while then went for a long drive to some old hang out spots.  Ran the dog back home and then ran back out to a restaurant for a quick bit to eat.  Now I am tired and my brain is scrabbled, but ohh so glad to pass the afternoon and make it through another day.   I sure hope I don't pay for it tomorrow from the Mexican food I ate.  I am so tired of worrying about what I eat or what I do, if it will make things worse.🤢 

How about you?? How did your day go?

Tomorrow will be a good day, Right!

@GreatfulWhen you have the energy to do stuff or are feeling restless it doesn't take much to completely wipe you out physically and mentally does it? I'm glad the walk helped. I know what you mean about being tired of monitoring what we do/eat. I'm feeling ever so slightly better today, my anxiety has subsided and I am thinking slightly more clearly. That said, I'm still veeeeery wary of doing anything which may jeopardise that state. I can't imagine just letting go and being fully engaged with life. I'm just waiting for it to all come crashing down as it inevitably does!

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

@GreatfulWhen you have the energy to do stuff or are feeling restless it doesn't take much to completely wipe you out physically and mentally does it?

I know this is true for me.  

 

3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

I'm feeling ever so slightly better today, my anxiety has subsided and I am thinking slightly more clearly. That said, I'm still veeeeery wary of doing anything which may jeopardise that state.

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better today.  🙂  I know what you mean about being wary, I'm the same way.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66  Hi how are you doing?

I know that you have a lot of anxiety so I thought I would pass this on.  

I looked up foods that are higher in histamine and found that I am eating a fair amount of food that can increase your anxiety through the histamine.  avocado, milk, cheese, yogurt, spinach, beans, can foods, peanut butter, anyway look it up maybe it will help.

 

I thought of you this morning,  I woke up in the blah, not interested in doing anything, talking anyone, mild anger. I though what if I am getting anhedonia like kat66.  I decided I am going to go with not pushing myself and let me be blah and lazy.  The many stages we go through when on this journey.

 

Talk soon

Hang in there

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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47 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66  Hi how are you doing?

I know that you have a lot of anxiety so I thought I would pass this on.  

I looked up foods that are higher in histamine and found that I am eating a fair amount of food that can increase your anxiety through the histamine.  avocado, milk, cheese, yogurt, spinach, beans, can foods, peanut butter, anyway look it up maybe it will help.

 

I thought of you this morning,  I woke up in the blah, not interested in doing anything, talking anyone, mild anger. I though what if I am getting anhedonia like kat66.  I decided I am going to go with not pushing myself and let me be blah and lazy.  The many stages we go through when on this journey.

 

Talk soon

Hang in there

@Greatful Oh you know, another day, another symptom. Yesterday I was super irritable, today the same, at the same time super restless and launched into some manic decluttering, God only knows why. Thanks for the info about histamine, I had no idea histamine had an effect on anxiety, I will look that up. I'm sorry you felt blah and unmotivated today, is that not something you get often? It's horrible isn't it?!! 'Blah' seems to be my default state at the moment, when it's not 'the whole world can f**k off and leave me the hell alone'. 

 

Thanks for checking in! xx

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66  Hi there,  How are you doing today?  I have been feeling a little window.  At least the depression is wayyyy down.  I am in and out of D/R not super bad but just enough to be noticed.  I went for a walk and felt so disconnected from the everything around me.  I was thinking I see everything but I just don't feel apart of it.  When I concentrated feeling my feet on the ground then I felt  a little connection.  Like oh yeah I am apart of the everything around me.  I am learning to not panic and force the connection.  It only makes me more anxious.

 

I also wanted to update you with using Lemon Balm  I found this comment on the systems            & self-care lemon balm thread.  There wasn't much there so I would research it more. I am not sure if the tea has the same affect.  Let me know if you investigate it more and what you find out.

 

"I have used it in the past for insomnia, and found that it did work.  Bottle called for 30 drops, but can use less.  I do not use it anymore because it binds to GABA receptors and I'm a Benzo survivor.  Also, constant use can lead to WD as it is like a very very mild Benzo.  Use with caution is my advice."  

 

Here is the link.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14500-lemon-balm/

 

On 9/17/2021 at 12:36 PM, Kat66 said:

Yesterday I was super irritable, today the same, at the same time super restless and launched into some manic decluttering, 

 

 Remind yourself that the emotions you are having are really morphed from WD.  Be kind to yourself.....

 

Have a great day❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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1 hour ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66  Hi there,  How are you doing today?  I have been feeling a little window.  At least the depression is wayyyy down.  I am in and out of D/R not super bad but just enough to be noticed.  I went for a walk and felt so disconnected from the everything around me.  I was thinking I see everything but I just don't feel apart of it.  When I concentrated feeling my feet on the ground then I felt  a little connection.  Like oh yeah I am apart of the everything around me.  I am learning to not panic and force the connection.  It only makes me more anxious.

 

I also wanted to update you with using Lemon Balm  I found this comment on the systems            & self-care lemon balm thread.  There wasn't much there so I would research it more. I am not sure if the tea has the same affect.  Let me know if you investigate it more and what you find out.

 

"I have used it in the past for insomnia, and found that it did work.  Bottle called for 30 drops, but can use less.  I do not use it anymore because it binds to GABA receptors and I'm a Benzo survivor.  Also, constant use can lead to WD as it is like a very very mild Benzo.  Use with caution is my advice."  

 

Here is the link.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14500-lemon-balm/

 

 

 Remind yourself that the emotions you are having are really morphed from WD.  Be kind to yourself.....

 

Have a great day❤️

Hi @Greatful - it's weird, I was feeling very disconnected from everything yesterday too. I too went for a walk just to try to feel 'part of the world' - it sort of worked but I still felt like a 'freak' and everyone could see what a freak I was. I'm really glad you're having a little window - it's really scary how you can feel one thing one hour, and totally different the next. Today I feel quite close to normal, even feeling relatively connected to other people, including my husband, from whom I've been feeling very disconnected. You're right, it's hard not to force the connection but these moments of normality feel so fragile - the next day they can be gone. I've tried grounding my feet too, it can be really effective.

 

Thanks for the lemon balm info - I had no idea it acted like a mild benzo - I find that kind of worrying I guess. I only have the odd cup, maybe two/three times a week and it does seem to relax me but again it could be a placebo effect. 

 

Isn't it a relief when the depression/anxiety/whatever it is abates for a while!! I hope it lasts a good while for you. And yes, good old neuroemotions. Don't we love em. xx

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Mentor

@Kat66  Hi, how are you doing?  Hanging in there?   

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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On 10/6/2021 at 9:52 PM, Greatful said:

@Kat66  Hi, how are you doing?  Hanging in there?   

Hiya @Greatful thanks for checking in. I’ve been away for my birthday so haven’t been on SA for a few days. Whilst away it’s almost like I’m back to normal, probably because there are so many distractions. Back home however I’ve gone downhill and am depressed, restless, numb, withdrawn and anxious. It’s so frustrating, and infuriating, because it’s like I’m two different people. 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66

Happy Birthday.🎈🎂  It's great that you were able to get away.  Even better that you felt almost normal....HA,HA  What is normal these days anyway.  I've been having some larger pecks at the me coming back, but with WD symptoms too.  The symptoms may not be as strong but they are there.  And I have to be careful I don't get over stimulated at times because then the brain goes into a buzzing mess......

14 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Back home however I’ve gone downhill and am depressed, restless, numb, withdrawn and anxious. It’s so frustrating, and infuriating, because it’s like I’m two different people. 

This is how it is in WD.  I am sure the distraction really helped, but the merry-go-round is still in motion.  But yes I can relate to the many many different people we become on this journey.  Hey we can even see them all in one day........

 

Is the weather turning there?  Fall is defiantly in the air here.  Some people are affected with season changes.  I started to feel a shift in my look towards the end of August.  Some how the air must change,  I started to feel the" time to draw yourself in and get ready for winter".   

I might look into getting some kind of therapy light for the dark days ahead.

 

Talk soon.  Hang in there❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment
On 10/8/2021 at 11:37 PM, Greatful said:

@Kat66

Happy Birthday.🎈🎂  It's great that you were able to get away.  Even better that you felt almost normal....HA,HA  What is normal these days anyway.  I've been having some larger pecks at the me coming back, but with WD symptoms too.  The symptoms may not be as strong but they are there.  And I have to be careful I don't get over stimulated at times because then the brain goes into a buzzing mess......

This is how it is in WD.  I am sure the distraction really helped, but the merry-go-round is still in motion.  But yes I can relate to the many many different people we become on this journey.  Hey we can even see them all in one day........

 

Is the weather turning there?  Fall is defiantly in the air here.  Some people are affected with season changes.  I started to feel a shift in my look towards the end of August.  Some how the air must change,  I started to feel the" time to draw yourself in and get ready for winter".   

I might look into getting some kind of therapy light for the dark days ahead.

 

Talk soon.  Hang in there❤️

@Greatful sorry for the late reply. I know what you mean about being careful not to be overstimulated - it doesn't take much to get to the buzzing mess I can tell you! I'm glad you can relate to the idea that even though we can be distracted, WD is always there in the background ready to rear its ugly head. I guess this weird state of being takes time to get used to. For instance yesterday I went to the park to walk the dogs and again that feeling of semi normalcy came over me again. In all honesty it feels like I must be faking it because as soon as I'm home it's back to being a depressed withdrawn mess! 4 seasons in one day, as you say.

Yes, autumn is definitely in the air and I'm glad! I like the cooler temperatures as I run hot (probably hormones) and as such it's nice to go outside and not need a shower after 5 minutes of walking around! Therapy light? Do you get SAD?

Hope you're doing ok, I'll head over to your page now and check! xx 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Mentor

@Kat66 How are you doing?  

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment
On 10/19/2021 at 6:32 PM, Greatful said:

@Kat66 How are you doing?  

 

 

 

@Greatful I’ve been feeling steadily better over the last few days so I think it’s safe to say I’m in a window. I’ll make the most of it as it probably won’t last! X

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

That's wonderful, @kat66.   I believe that gradually the waves get shorter and less severe, and the windows and OK times get more frequent.  That's how it's been for me.  The thing is, it's extremely gradual, and takes a long time. 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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4 hours ago, getofflex said:

That's wonderful, @kat66.   I believe that gradually the waves get shorter and less severe, and the windows and OK times get more frequent.  That's how it's been for me.  The thing is, it's extremely gradual, and takes a long time. 

Indeed @getofflex and the irony is, I’ve gone downhill as the day’s gone on. The good thing is though, that I’ve not gone too severely downhill. I can feel an increase in irritability, emotional numbness and low mood but not nearly as bad as it has been.

🙂

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66

As the saying goes ain't love grand.  Well ain't W/D grand.

It's like stop the slide, stop the slide.  Oh man I guess I better hang on for the ride and go with the flow. 

You are showing improvement though.  Yeah.

Winter is almost here, let's get off the roller coaster and get out of this amusement park.🥴

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I liken WD to riding a roller coaster.  One minute you are way up, then you are plummeting downward.  

 

Your drug sig says "Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle, moderate drinker. "  Are you still drinking? 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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  • Mentor

@kat66

Hi there, how was your weekend?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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18 hours ago, Greatful said:

@kat66

Hi there, how was your weekend?

Hi @Greatful not too bad actually. My symptoms have reduced a lot so the window is lasting longer than I’d dare hope. 
 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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just had the biggest rage attack yet. I guess the window is over. Screaming like someone possessed and out of control. Irritable beyond words. Depressed thoughts creeping in again. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted!

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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And the wave continues. Anxiety so bad I cannot concentrate on anything or settle to anything. Depression, anhedonia, and apathy. I was away for the weekend and in that time I had a couple of hours where I felt 80% back to my old self. That's it. Now I'm back in a prison cell that is my mind. This is such fun!! Not. Just have to keep going, hour by hour, day by day.

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66

On 11/1/2021 at 1:09 PM, Kat66 said:

. Now I'm back in a prison cell that is my mind. This is such fun!!

Prison cell in my mind, I love it.  

 

Are you noticing any patterns yet or what certain symptoms perpetuate?  I am noticing if  my noise sensitivity is high, I mean I want to rip my ears off,  the panic and obsessing, ocd thoughts heighten.  I can hardly handle my hubby's voice, clearing is throat, etc. him moving around the house, in the kitchen banging dishes( not on purpose it is just so loud to me) working on his computer. UGH.  

 

On 11/1/2021 at 1:09 PM, Kat66 said:

I had a couple of hours where I felt 80% back to my old self

You know the saying around here is you if felt like that once you will feel like it again.😉

  Can you feel the shift when things start to change back to the prison cell. 😞 

 

I thought we were going to get out of this amusement park, off the roller-coaster,🎢 merry-go-round what ever you want to call it😖   

 

What is going through your mind when you have rage, depression, apathy, anadenia?  I want to remind yourself this is not me, it is the WD nightmare.  Have you tried any visualization techniques?

Have you tried visualization

Assign the color black to depression, red for anger, green for jealousy, yellow for anxiety, panic, restlessness then visualize the dot's of color  it in your brain away from you, like you are looking at it in front of you and say this is not me, this is WD and I it is only an experience that I am having.  Sometimes this will center you to look at the real you and know that yeah that is not me.  Then distract yourself.  Remember dwelling or trying to run from your thoughts will only drag you in to the thought spiral and we all know where that lead too, frustration, more anxiety, more depression and worthlessness thinking and that you want to give up.  If you have to do do this constantly at first so be it .  This is were the meditation heals you learn to not get attached to your thought

Accept how you feel  with out judgement is also a good tool to use.  

 

Yeah Yeah Yeah Greatful, sometimes it feels like I am preaching to the choir, I  have to work on this all the time, or else I get sucked into the spiral and start to fall in the black hole🕳️

 

 

You are doing super by the way.  Taking the waves with courage and still trying to function by going away for the weekend. ❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Greatful said:

I can hardly handle my hubby's voice, clearing is throat, etc. him moving around the house, in the kitchen banging dishes( not on purpose it is just so loud to me) working on his computer. UGH.  

Oh thank GOD, it's not just me. I'm so irritated and over sensitised to every noise he makes whilst eating.

 

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

Are you noticing any patterns yet or what certain symptoms perpetuate?  I am noticing if  my noise sensitivity is high, I mean I want to rip my ears off,  the panic and obsessing, ocd thoughts heighten. 

The usual symptoms, depression, anxiety, anhedonia, irritability and rage, are pretty much there all the time. I get super sensitivity to noise too, and sometimes can't listen to anything other than birdsong/ambient background soundscapes. When I'm alone is the only time I feel vaguely calmer as there are no triggers to the anger etc. I always seem to feel slightly calmer in the afternoon and wonder if that's cortisol declining and melatonin increasing?

 

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

 

You know the saying around here is you if felt like that once you will feel like it again.😉

  Can you feel the shift when things start to change back to the prison cell. 😞 

That's something positive to cling onto! Yes, if I'm out of the house, distracted by a day trip, work, of some time away, I'm better for some reason. As soon as I return home, something clicks in my mind and the prison cell returns. No idea what that's about!

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

What is going through your mind when you have rage, depression, apathy, anadenia?  I want to remind yourself this is not me, it is the WD nightmare.  Have you tried any visualization techniques?

Have you tried visualization

Assign the color black to depression, red for anger, green for jealousy, yellow for anxiety, panic, restlessness then visualize the dot's of color  it in your brain away from you, like you are looking at it in front of you and say this is not me, this is WD and I it is only an experience that I am having.  Sometimes this will center you to look at the real you and know that yeah that is not me.  Then distract yourself.  Remember dwelling or trying to run from your thoughts will only drag you in to the thought spiral and we all know where that lead too, frustration, more anxiety, more depression and worthlessness thinking and that you want to give up.  If you have to do do this constantly at first so be it .  This is were the meditation heals you learn to not get attached to your thought

Accept how you feel  with out judgement is also a good tool to use.  

What's going through my mind? I guess it's pure 'I DON'T CARE!!!!' 'WHAT'S THE POINT?!!!' I just don't give a *&%£$ about anything at that moment in time and it's a very intense sensation.

No I haven't tried visualisation.....I haven't heard of it actually. I'll try it - but my brain is so tired at the moment I'm not sure I could do it - I'm even having trouble understanding what I have to do LOL. 

 

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

You are doing super by the way.  Taking the waves with courage and still trying to function by going away for the weekend. ❤️

Thanks that means a heck of a lot. When you're in the grip of an intense wave it's easy to feel like you're alone so this kind of validation is absolute gold, thank you!!!!

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66

I hope it's okay to say I bursted out laughing when I picture  your husband eating and you staring at him with daggers for eyes🤣 Thank you I needed that. 

22 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

'I DON'T CARE!!!!' 'WHAT'S THE POINT?!!!

I hit the wall pretty bad this last weekend, so I get the I am ready to throw in the towel.  The sad thing is what can we do other then wait it out.  

 

28 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

I'll try it - but my brain is so tired at the moment I'm not sure I could do it - I'm even having trouble understanding what I have to do LOL. 

It is quite simple, when you are in a situation/emotion, I use red for anger, you can close your eyes and envision a red blog/dot away from you, like you are looking a a floating piece of dust in the air. If you can separate yourself from the emotion I can see it easier that this is not who I really am.  It is something that you have to work on, the emotions and the distorted MORPHED thoughts are relentless.

 

We really need the support from everyone here on SA.  The people on here are the only ones that can relate to the crazy, painful and SCARY things we live through, and say the right things that let you know you are not alone.❤️

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment
On 11/3/2021 at 7:18 PM, Greatful said:

 

I hope it's okay to say I bursted out laughing when I picture  your husband eating and you staring at him with daggers for eyes🤣 Thank you I needed that. 

 

I cover one ear so I don't have to listen to him chewing!

 

On 11/3/2021 at 7:18 PM, Greatful said:

I hit the wall pretty bad this last weekend, so I get the I am ready to throw in the towel.  The sad thing is what can we do other then wait it out.  

 

That sucks - what do you mean by throwing in the towel, going back on meds? The waiting is the worst part, knowing it could take not months but YEARS!!

 

 

On 11/3/2021 at 7:18 PM, Greatful said:

It is quite simple, when you are in a situation/emotion, I use red for anger, you can close your eyes and envision a red blog/dot away from you, like you are looking a a floating piece of dust in the air. If you can separate yourself from the emotion I can see it easier that this is not who I really am.  It is something that you have to work on, the emotions and the distorted MORPHED thoughts are relentless.

 

Is the aim of this to separate yourself from these emotions so we stop defining ourselves by them?

 

On 11/3/2021 at 7:18 PM, Greatful said:

We really need the support from everyone here on SA.  The people on here are the only ones that can relate to the crazy, painful and SCARY things we live through, and say the right things that let you know you are not alone.❤️

 

 

You're so right - this experience is SO unique. It's impossible to describe it to someone who hasn't lived it.

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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On 10/22/2021 at 9:48 PM, getofflex said:

Your drug sig says "Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle, moderate drinker. "  Are you still drinking? 

I need to change my sig. I gave up alcohol for a month and didn't feel much different. I now have weeks where I have nothing, and the next week I have one drink.

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
5 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

I now have weeks where I have nothing, and the next week I have one drink.

 

Just FYI, as I've mentioned before, when we are talking about a sensitized nervous system, such as ours tend to be, even one drink has the potential to throw one into a wave, which could last for a few days, or a few weeks, etc.  

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/22539-alcohol-during-withdrawal/?tab=comments#comment-477638

 

 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
On 11/6/2021 at 5:39 PM, getofflex said:

 

Just FYI, as I've mentioned before, when we are talking about a sensitized nervous system, such as ours tend to be, even one drink has the potential to throw one into a wave, which could last for a few days, or a few weeks, etc.  

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/22539-alcohol-during-withdrawal/?tab=comments#comment-477638

 

 

I'm finding it so difficult to stop totally. It's like my brain loses the plot momentarily and just says 'fk it, you're feeling &^%&^$* you need instant relief' and it's too late. When things feel really bad, no amount of deep breathing, visualisation, meditation etc will work. 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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  • Mentor

@Kat66

What's up girl.  Curious, how does drinking help?  Don't get me wrong there are times when I wish I could take more Xanax or have the doc's put me out for a few months.  

On 11/6/2021 at 12:22 PM, Kat66 said:

Is the aim of this to separate yourself from these emotions so we stop defining ourselves by them?

Yes that is right.  I know that there are many different coping skills,  it is helpful learn a few because sometimes, one doesn't work as well,  you know switch it up.   

2 hours ago, Kat66 said:

When things feel really bad, no amount of deep breathing, visualisation, meditation etc will work. 

I run into this, sometimes I have to just sit in it.  I sometimes walk slow on the treadmill, trying to play games on my tablet.  Some days you just want the day to end in hopes that tomorrow will be better or least you have made it another day, and that your brain has had another day to heal.

Listen to your body.  I notice when I get over stimulated I start tensing up, (this can be just trying to have a conversation with my hubby) if my brain starts to tighten and the my ears start to build pressure and it is hard for me to focus, then it's time to stop and take a break. I  also know that anything that causes me stress, or emotions will set of the down hill spiral. 

 

I think the only way you feel a relief, it maybe a small relief, is by changing what we are telling ourselves at the time.   Today I had to tell myself that this is all body sensations and thoughts, they can't hurt you.   I also need reminding that when we are feeling so rotten that is when our brain is working hard to get it right. 

 

I know this is not a picnic and somedays I wonder how I will get through the day, but we  have so far, so that tells me that the sensations and thoughts haven't hurt us yet. I go agree that when we look at how long this has been going on and fear the worst,  and get sucked up in the thought of how long will this go on. It causes us to panic and we stop focusing on the day. 

 

Hang in there Kat time keeps marching on and we are moving with it.❤️ 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, 0.1mg

Lamictal  taper   from July 2022 to Oct 2022  0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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17 hours ago, getofflex said:

Thanks @getofflex that helped a lot. I think it’s really starting to sink in that booze isn’t helping. I know that must sound dumb but when you’ve used it to mask pain for as long as I have it takes a while to really ‘get it’. On Saturday night my anxiety was dialled up to 11 so I had a couple of bottles of cider. The effects were instant but short lived and for once I thought to myself, ‘this isn’t the answer is it?’ Being honest with myself about this is so hard, but necessary. 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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@Kat66I used to use booze to mask my pain, so I get it.  I've been sober now for 33 years, and no longer need or want a drink.  

 

2 hours ago, Kat66 said:

On Saturday night my anxiety was dialled up to 11 so I had a couple of bottles of cider. The effects were instant but short lived and for once I thought to myself, ‘this isn’t the answer is it?

👍👊

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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6 hours ago, getofflex said:

@Kat66I used to use booze to mask my pain, so I get it.  I've been sober now for 33 years, and no longer need or want a drink.  

 

👍👊

It’s the time it takes for it to sink in that it’s not the solution. But hey better late than never!

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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On 11/7/2021 at 8:16 PM, getofflex said:

So I’m taking away from this, that although it may seem counterintuitive, leaning into the pain and sitting with it may enable a faster healing process?

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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On 11/7/2021 at 10:01 PM, Greatful said:

@Kat66

What's up girl.  Curious, how does drinking help?  Don't get me wrong there are times when I wish I could take more Xanax or have the doc's put me out for a few months.  

Yes that is right.  I know that there are many different coping skills,  it is helpful learn a few because sometimes, one doesn't work as well,  you know switch it up.   

I run into this, sometimes I have to just sit in it.  I sometimes walk slow on the treadmill, trying to play games on my tablet.  Some days you just want the day to end in hopes that tomorrow will be better or least you have made it another day, and that your brain has had another day to heal.

Listen to your body.  I notice when I get over stimulated I start tensing up, (this can be just trying to have a conversation with my hubby) if my brain starts to tighten and the my ears start to build pressure and it is hard for me to focus, then it's time to stop and take a break. I  also know that anything that causes me stress, or emotions will set of the down hill spiral. 

 

I think the only way you feel a relief, it maybe a small relief, is by changing what we are telling ourselves at the time.   Today I had to tell myself that this is all body sensations and thoughts, they can't hurt you.   I also need reminding that when we are feeling so rotten that is when our brain is working hard to get it right. 

 

I know this is not a picnic and somedays I wonder how I will get through the day, but we  have so far, so that tells me that the sensations and thoughts haven't hurt us yet. I go agree that when we look at how long this has been going on and fear the worst,  and get sucked up in the thought of how long will this go on. It causes us to panic and we stop focusing on the day. 

 

Hang in there Kat time keeps marching on and we are moving with it.❤️ 

 

Thanks @Greatful that helped a lot. If you read my above replies to @getofflex it may give you an idea what drinking does for me. I even wondered about getting a prescription for diazepam for occasional use when the anxiety is bad. But reading what @getofflex wrote about accepting pain switched on a bit of a lightbulb. You’ve already realised this wisdom and are practising it. This is a journey isn’t it? Hope you’re doing ok xx

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Kat66 said:

So I’m taking away from this, that although it may seem counterintuitive, leaning into the pain and sitting with it may enable a faster healing process?

Yes.  Have you ever read any of the success stories on the forum?  Shep is a hero to me.  She was quite polydrugged, and is now drug free and recovered, and living a normal life.  

 

Shep - Leaving Plato's Cave

 

Try the finding meaning forum.  Spirituality can give you great inner strength to persevere during difficult times.  

 

Finding Meaning

 

 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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8 hours ago, getofflex said:

Yes.  Have you ever read any of the success stories on the forum?  Shep is a hero to me.  She was quite polydrugged, and is now drug free and recovered, and living a normal life.  

 

Shep - Leaving Plato's Cave

 

Try the finding meaning forum.  Spirituality can give you great inner strength to persevere during difficult times.  

 

Finding Meaning

 

 

I tend to avoid the success stories as I’m convinced it won’t happen to me. But I’ll check shep out and look through finding meaning some more. Thanks 😘

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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