Kat66: should I reinstate or plough on drug free?

[Kat66]

On 11/7/2021 at 10:01 PM, Greatful said:

(this can be just trying to have a conversation with my hubby) 

I wanted to address this, and also you saying the even your hubby's voice irritates you. This is so true for me too. So much so I value the time I have alone rather than the time I am with him. This really worries me. What is it about trying to start a conversation with your hubby that overstimulates you? Can you put it into words?

[Sunnylight]

Good evening @Kat66 hello from Holland. I am reading through your story and it really gets to me. I am sorry to hear that you are suffering. The way you are writing makes is easy to feel where you are (as that makes sense, I am not a native English speaker....) And unfortunately I can relate to al lot of your symptons, especially the feeling of being irritated lots of times and getting overstimulated easily. Do you manage to work? I find it so difficult to handle them, especially while I have two kids. Anyway just wanting to say hello and wish you all the best!

[Kat66]

6 minutes ago, Sunnylight said:

Good evening @Kat66 hello from Holland. I am reading through your story and it really gets to me. I am sorry to hear that you are suffering. The way you are writing makes is easy to feel where you are (as that makes sense, I am not a native English speaker....) And unfortunately I can relate to al lot of your symptons, especially the feeling of being irritated lots of times and getting overstimulated easily. Do you manage to work? I find it so difficult to handle them, especially while I have two kids. Anyway just wanting to say hello and wish you all the best!

Thank you @Sunnylight I’m touched that you responded to my story. I only work part time as I couldn’t manage a full time job at the moment. Do you work? I can’t imagine how much stress you have with two kids and working too. I’ll check out your intro if you have one. Wishing you healing too x

[Sunnylight]

Thank you for your quick response! I was wondering, you reinstated with 2 mg, would you say that it helped and was a good decision? Or do you see it otherwise? I have been thinking of reinstating myself but I have been off AD for almost 5 months now so I am also very hesitant.

[Greatful]

@Kat66

   A lot depends on how sensitive I am that day.    It can be really any noise.   My ears start to feel pressure and almost feel like they flutter.  A clink of the bowl on the counter can seem loud, a repetitive noises like the furnace  running can start to bother the ear drum.  Like I said it all depends on the day.  It sure adds to the anxiety and jumpiness.   

9 hours ago, Kat66 said:

So much so I value the time I have alone rather than the time I am with him. This really worries me.

Talk to him about it.  Let him know if you are not able to talk with him right now.  If you can spend a little time in conversation then stop when it starts to get to much.   Carrying on conversations can be hard.    Also try not take any of this personal, you are in WD and you will get back to a great time with hubby soon.❤️

 

3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

I only work part time

Do you get over stimulated at work.  I am jealous that you can work.  On my better days I think maybe I can go back to work, then I will have the day were I want to rip my ears and head off.  Somedays I can get over stimulated just being on SA. 🥴 I guess we have to see how we are on a daily basis  and then plan the day. 

 

Remind yourself that you have a temporary chemical brain injury.🙄 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 9, 2021 by Greatful

[Kat66]

20 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66

   A lot depends on how sensitive I am that day.    It can be really any noise.   My ears start to feel pressure and almost feel like they flutter.  A clink of the bowl on the counter can seem loud, a repetitive noises like the furnace  running can start to bother the ear drum.  Like I said it all depends on the day.  It sure adds to the anxiety and jumpiness.   

I can totally relate. The slightest sound is like a full volume orchestra sometimes - it's horrible, and piles on the jumpiness.

 

20 hours ago, Greatful said:

Talk to him about it.  Let him know if you are not able to talk with him right now.  If you can spend a little time in conversation then stop when it starts to get to much.   Carrying on conversations can be hard.    Also try not take any of this personal, you are in WD and you will get back to a great time with hubby soon.❤️

I will talk to him. I just don't want to have conversations right now. Haven't done for a while. That said, I don't want to have conversations with anyone! That's one of the main symptoms I've always had whilst in depression - the talking stops. It takes too much energy. I'm not a big talker anyway so find it exhausting to talk at the moment. I have to keep reminding myself I'm in WD and all bets are off.

20 hours ago, Greatful said:

Do you get over stimulated at work.  I am jealous that you can work.  On my better days I think maybe I can go back to work, then I will have the day were I want to rip my ears and head off. 

 

Well workwise I used to be an illustrator until the work dried up. Now I deliver prescriptions for the local hospital. It's the perfect job for me in many ways. I get out and about, I have colleagues at the hospital and that 'grounds' me, makes me feel accepted and less of a freak (I've felt like a freak my whole life) and it's low stress, apart from if traffic gets bad. I'm able to be quiet in my car and listen to calming soundscapes. So no I don't really get overstimulated. What is your line of work? Is it stressful?

20 hours ago, Greatful said:

Somedays I can get over stimulated just being on SA. 

 

Remind yourself that you have a temporary chemical brain injury.🙄 

 

Is that because you support quite a few people? Or is it just reading through all the stuff on here?

Yes you're right, I do have to keep reminding myself. x

[Greatful]

@Kat66

45 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

Now I deliver prescriptions for the local hospital.

I could probably enjoy this.  The only things is sometimes I wonder if I should be driving when my brain is so scrambled🥴  2 times I have stopped at a stop light and treated it like a stop sign, stopped and then went through the red light. 

 

I woke as in food service in a high school.  You know the lunch lady.😁  This year would be my 20th year there.  I am on a short leave through FMLA  Here in the US we have this Family Medical Leave ACT.   We can take up to 12 weeks a year for various family/medical reasons.  I applied last summer.  My therapist filled out the medical part of the paperwork.  I really am worried if I can go know back at all this year.  The noise, people, commotion, very physical work, on your feet for hours.  I guess I will just have to see how well I am doing in December.   I think my head would explode and I would want to rip my ears off, not to mention feeling weak, hard to focus and fatigue.   One the few moments that I have a slight window, I think maybe I can go back.😊  Then the shades close and that is that. Do you work everyday?  I think having a little something you have to do daily helps if you can do it.

 

Lately I have been having horrible headaches.  They make it hard to function.

 

Sometimes the focus to read and following the postings are hard, or I get to stimulated from the reading and posting.   Somedays my brain is to messed up/or low mood, fatigue, blah, blah, blah.  Just depends on how things are going for me

 

How are things going for you?  Up and down round and round.🙄

[Kat66]

22 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66

I could probably enjoy this.  The only things is sometimes I wonder if I should be driving when my brain is so scrambled🥴  2 times I have stopped at a stop light and treated it like a stop sign, stopped and then went through the red light. 

 

I must admit there've been times when I've wondered if I should be driving too. Like you say, it's because my brain is scrambled.

22 hours ago, Greatful said:

The noise, people, commotion, very physical work, on your feet for hours.  I guess I will just have to see how well I am doing in December.   I think my head would explode and I would want to rip my ears off, not to mention feeling weak, hard to focus and fatigue.   One the few moments that I have a slight window, I think maybe I can go back.😊  Then the shades close and that is that. Do you work everyday?  I think having a little something you have to do daily helps if you can do it.

 

I wish you luck going back into that. I certainly don't think I could cope with that amount of stimulation! Whenever I feel a bit better I wonder about going back to my volunteer post at a suicide hotline, then, as you say, the shades come down and that's that. I'd be next to useless helping others right now!

 

22 hours ago, Greatful said:

Lately I have been having horrible headaches.  They make it hard to function.

 

Sometimes the focus to read and following the postings are hard, or I get to stimulated from the reading and posting.   Somedays my brain is to messed up/or low mood, fatigue, blah, blah, blah.  Just depends on how things are going for me

 

How are things going for you?  Up and down round and round.🙄

Sounds horrible. I feel much like you at the moment. Something @getofflex said the other day about accepting this process and not fighting it (I'm paraphrasing) resonated with me though. Since then I've felt...a little ...different. Nowhere near healed or anything, but my perspective has changed. I'm just going with the WD process and if that means protecting myself by not talking to people and just keeping quiet and to myself, then so be it.

[Kat66]

On 11/9/2021 at 6:59 PM, Sunnylight said:

Thank you for your quick response! I was wondering, you reinstated with 2 mg, would you say that it helped and was a good decision? Or do you see it otherwise? I have been thinking of reinstating myself but I have been off AD for almost 5 months now so I am also very hesitant.

Honestly? I don't know if it was a good decision as I don't know how I would have been if I hadn't reinstated. You could give it a go at a very small dose and stick with it for a while. They advise on here not to do too many dose changes too quickly though. Have a read about reinstating? See below.

 

[Sunnylight]

Thank you @Kat66 for your reply. I understand, it is impossible to know whether it has been a good choice or not. I will read a bit more about reinstating but the overall feeling at the moment is, that I do not want to come close to anything that messes with my brain anymore 😞

[Kat66]

3 hours ago, Sunnylight said:

Thank you @Kat66 for your reply. I understand, it is impossible to know whether it has been a good choice or not. I will read a bit more about reinstating but the overall feeling at the moment is, that I do not want to come close to anything that messes with my brain anymore 😞

I understand. You have to do  the right thing for you and you alone x

[Sunnylight]

Thank you! @Kat66

[Greatful]

@Kat66  How was your weekend Kat?

Things are settling down for me.  How long I don't know.......I did a 10%cut yesterday🤥  I am waiting to see how it goes.

 

[Kat66]

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66  How was your weekend Kat?

Things are settling down for me.  How long I don't know.......I did a 10%cut yesterday🤥  I am waiting to see how it goes.

 

Hi @GreatfulI'm glad things are settling down for you....do you think you're heading for another window? Fingers crossed your cut goes OK. I'm not great, currently very jumpy and agitated and can't settle to anything. I've no desire to see anyone or talk to anyone, just sit on the sofa watching TV. My life has become very small. But in the spirit of acceptance, I guess this is how it needs to be for now. I've not had a drink for 8 days. I struggled on Saturday night not to have one - it's part of who I am, it makes me like myself more and when I don't have alcohol to fall back on I have to confront who I am and I don't much like her right now! It's not like I'm a raging alcoholic, I just like having one or two drinks at the weekend. Ah well, for now this is how it needs to be. Sitting with the discomfort. 

[Greatful]

@Kat66

2 hours ago, Kat66 said:

do you think you're heading for another window?

I am not sure I have windows.  I call them windows if I am not depressed, but I generally have plenty of other symptoms.

2 hours ago, Kat66 said:

I've no desire to see anyone or talk to anyone, just sit on the sofa watching TV. My life has become very small. But in the spirit of acceptance, I guess this is how it needs to be for now.

I can relate to this.  This is a time for us to take care of ourselves.  I am going to try and not put any expectations on myself, this is now going to be all about me and my needs right now.  If that means  I am not  up to doing get togethers with family, or my children, friends what ever it is then I am not going to do it.  I have to keep the stress down, and stimulation down.

The hardest part is going to not beat myself up for it.  I am going through all this for me to heal to get better.  This happening to me, this is not me.  I am trying real hard not to take this as a personal failure.  Be kind to ourselves and know that we are doing all that we can do to heal from these nasty chemicals.

You know we are doing a great job just getting through the days.💪  That should be the only expectation we put on ourselves.‼️

 

3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

I've not had a drink for 8 days. I struggled on Saturday night not to have one - it's part of who I am, it makes me like myself more and when I don't have alcohol to fall back on I have to confront who I am and I don't much like her right now!

 

Congrats for staying off the alcohol.  It is just another form of self medicating.  You are so much more than that.  You are you and that is all you need to be.  0 expectations........

Look deep inside where no one else can see.  You will see the real you and I know that girl needs nothing else to validate her. Just learn how to love her and accept her just the way she is.  I know that you love her.☺️  Tell yourself I love me..........

Here is a little thought

Be true to yourself first and than you will be naturally true to others.

 

I will get off my soap box now.  Just remind me of  these things when I can't see past my own nose and I  sink  into total despair.🥴 

 

We are going to get through this one way or another.  The time will pass just as it always does and we will out of this nightmare before we know it.  The we can start a movement on the damage and pain these meds can cause........

 

[Kat66]

20 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66

I am not sure I have windows.  I call them windows if I am not depressed, but I generally have plenty of other symptoms.

I can relate to this.  This is a time for us to take care of ourselves.  I am going to try and not put any expectations on myself, this is now going to be all about me and my needs right now.  If that means  I am not  up to doing get togethers with family, or my children, friends what ever it is then I am not going to do it.  I have to keep the stress down, and stimulation down.

The hardest part is going to not beat myself up for it.  I am going through all this for me to heal to get better.  This happening to me, this is not me.  I am trying real hard not to take this as a personal failure.  Be kind to ourselves and know that we are doing all that we can do to heal from these nasty chemicals.

You know we are doing a great job just getting through the days.💪  That should be the only expectation we put on ourselves.‼️

 

 

Congrats for staying off the alcohol.  It is just another form of self medicating.  You are so much more than that.  You are you and that is all you need to be.  0 expectations........

Look deep inside where no one else can see.  You will see the real you and I know that girl needs nothing else to validate her. Just learn how to love her and accept her just the way she is.  I know that you love her.☺️  Tell yourself I love me..........

Here is a little thought

Be true to yourself first and than you will be naturally true to others.

 

I will get off my soap box now.  Just remind me of  these things when I can't see past my own nose and I  sink  into total despair.🥴 

 

We are going to get through this one way or another.  The time will pass just as it always does and we will out of this nightmare before we know it.  The we can start a movement on the damage and pain these meds can cause........

 

I needed all that so much today @Greatful thank you!!!!! I'm starting to feel like I'm sinking a bit, but I'm hanging onto the idea that first and foremost WE ARE HEALING. My most prominent thought today has been 'I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO GIVE', and by that I mean, I have nothing more to give TO OTHERS. Friends are messaging to see how I am and I feel so guilty for not immediately suggesting a meet up, but I have NOTHING to give socially. I'm barely keeping on top of looking after myself and my house, never mind expending what little energy I have to socialising and catching up. So I thank you for reminding me that it's OK to NOT do something. And yes, you're right, not beating yourself up and seeing yourself as a failure is hard, but essential.

I hope you're having as OK a day as you can xxxx

[Greatful]

@Kat66  Hi Kat, how are you doing? 

Do not worry about entertaining your friends.  Do any of them know what's going on? 

If so and they are really your friend they will wait for when you are ready.  Just let them know that you really appreciate them for checking up on you.  When you are feeling a small window and you feel like you could be around someone, invite one over to spend a little time with you.  And don't forget to let them know what you want them to bring for lunch😁

 

[Kat66]

Thanks @Greatfuli’ll do that. Ive gone downhill quite a bit in the last week, feeling less and less interested in my life and life in general. I’m staying afloat by watching a lot of YouTube stuff on psych meds withdrawal and success stories on here. I feel like I’ve entered a very dark tunnel all of a sudden. I didn’t think things could get worse and who knows they might get even worse than this.  I hope you’re doing ok, I’ll check in on you on your page xx

[Greatful]

@Kat66

8 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

Ive gone downhill quite a bit in the last week, feeling less and less interested in my life and life in general.

I am so sorry.  I know what you mean when you feel like you hit the end of the rope, tired, discouraged, want to lay around.  Up and down.   

All I can say is try and not beat yourself up for anything,  I have to stop and look deep into myself to know that I am still here and that other then all this pain and dysfunction I am still here buried inside.  Hang on to that and know that WD can not take that away. 

I hate these drugs.................😖

 

You know that you are not alone, lonely yes but never alone❤️

[Sunnylight]

@Kat66 I am sorry to hear you're feeling worse. The feeling of 'I have absolutely nothing to give' is so familiair to me. I have had this for a great deal of the past 3,5 years. Nothing or very little to give to my family and friends. To my surprise they are still around, not just my family but also my friends, a few good ones are still here. And I am so greatful for that. So they will understand, your friends, I am sure. And if not, maybe than that's not who/what you need right now. It is all about you now, taking the time to heal. I hope things will get better for you, sending love ❤️

[Kat66]

2 hours ago, Sunnylight said:

@Kat66 I am sorry to hear you're feeling worse. The feeling of 'I have absolutely nothing to give' is so familiair to me. I have had this for a great deal of the past 3,5 years. Nothing or very little to give to my family and friends. To my surprise they are still around, not just my family but also my friends, a few good ones are still here. And I am so greatful for that. So they will understand, your friends, I am sure. And if not, maybe than that's not who/what you need right now. It is all about you now, taking the time to heal. I hope things will get better for you, sending love ❤️

 

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66

I am so sorry.  I know what you mean when you feel like you hit the end of the rope, tired, discouraged, want to lay around.  Up and down.   

All I can say is try and not beat yourself up for anything,  I have to stop and look deep into myself to know that I am still here and that other then all this pain and dysfunction I am still here buried inside.  Hang on to that and know that WD can not take that away. 

I hate these drugs.................😖

 

You know that you are not alone, lonely yes but never alone❤️

 Thank you both so so so much I needed those words. This journey all of a sudden feels very lonely and I feel like I'm going to be more and more dependent on SA for support over the coming months.

Sending love to you both xx

[Kat66]

So, things have become a lot lot worse over the last week. The depression/lack of feeling/emotional anaesthesia etc has become unbearable and I've been having a lot of suicidal ideation. The only way I can describe it is that 'all the lights have gone out' and I'm in total darkness. Is this 'healing'? Does this level of suffering mean I'm on the right path? It's darkest before the dawn etc etc? I'm wondering if this is the case. A very well meaning and supportive work colleague who knows I'm going through WD suggested I go back to a full dose of citalopram. She basically said, 'is all this suffering really worth it?' I need to know, now as much as ever, is it worth it? Much love to all xx

[Greatful]

@Kat66I am so sorry for your pain.

Are you still at 2mg  I definitely would not go to a full what the doc's say a therapeutic dose is.

That being said you should tag a mode and find out if you could up dose a little bit.

You body has started to change and adapt to the 2mg.  

From your sig, it looks like  you jumped at a high dose 10mg.  

You have been sitting at 2mg since July?

Please hang in there Kat.  I am you a hug🤗

Please know that you are a very strong and are doing a amazing job in a horrible situation❤️

[Kat66]

10 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Kat66I am so sorry for your pain.

Are you still at 2mg  I definitely would not go to a full what the doc's say a therapeutic dose is.

 

It's funny, I misread what you said as 'I would definitely go to a full therapeutic dose'. Over my dead body. I can see why some people would want to reinstate at the full dose though. Yes I'm still at 2mg and have been since July.

12 minutes ago, Greatful said:

You body has started to change and adapt to the 2mg.  

Is that why my symptoms are so severe do you think?

 

13 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Please hang in there Kat.  I am you a hug🤗

Please know that you are a very strong and are doing a amazing job in a horrible situation❤️

Thank you my friend. I'll tag in a mod or two....see what they think... xx

 

 

[Kat66]

@getofflex sorry to bother you but my symptoms have worsened a lot in the last week and I'm wondering if I should updose from 2mg a little bit. I've been holding at 2mg since July this year and am wondering if my worsening symptoms might be as a result of this hold?

Any advice would be gratefully appreciated xx

[getofflex]

@Kat66 I am taking a break from moderating at this time.  Please tag one of the following staff for help.  Type @ followed by their name, then select from this list. 

 

kiasofia, onmyway, manymoretodays, dataguy, apace41, Shep, brassmonkey, chessiecat.  

[Kat66]

15 hours ago, getofflex said:

@Kat66 I am taking a break from moderating at this time.

No worries, sorry to bother you x

[Kat66]

 

 

@Kiasofia @Onmyway @manymoretodays

@Shep @brassmonkey @ChessieCat

 

Sorry to bother you all and I hope you don’t mind me tagging you all in, but my symptoms have worsened a lot in the last week and I'm wondering if any of you might be able to advise if I should keep holding at 2mg or updose a bit? I've been holding at 2mg since July this year and am wondering if my worsening symptoms might be as a result of this hold?

Any advice would be gratefully appreciated xx

[Onmyway]

6 hours ago, Kat66 said:

 

 

 

@Kiasofia @Onmyway @manymoretodays

@Shep @brassmonkey @ChessieCat

 

Sorry to bother you all and I hope you don’t mind me tagging you all in, but my symptoms have worsened a lot in the last week and I'm wondering if any of you might be able to advise if I should keep holding at 2mg or updose a bit? I've been holding at 2mg since July this year and am wondering if my worsening symptoms might be as a result of this hold?

Any advice would be gratefully appreciated xx

Hi @Kat66, 

if the uptick in symptoms is only recent, I would not updose. While benzos do create tolerance (i.e. the need to increase the dose to get the same effect), SSRIs are not known for that. Most likely you are in a wave that will resolve with some patience. This might be the time to start using the non-drug techniques to see if they can help with some of the symptoms. 

Hope you get some respite soon, 
OMW

[Kat66]

Thank you @Onmyway, much appreciated x

[Shep]

On 11/15/2021 at 12:56 PM, Kat66 said:

I've not had a drink for 8 days. I struggled on Saturday night not to have one - it's part of who I am, it makes me like myself more and when I don't have alcohol to fall back on I have to confront who I am and I don't much like her right now! It's not like I'm a raging alcoholic, I just like having one or two drinks at the weekend. Ah well, for now this is how it needs to be. Sitting with the discomfort. 

 

Kat, there have been numerous conversations about alcohol in the course of your thread. Please re-read your entire thread. I just did and I'm not sure your reinstatement ever worked - it was complicated by the periodic use of alcohol. And continuing to bring alcohol into the equation is likely causing setbacks and may even lead to kindling your nervous system. 

 

Are you able to get rid of all of the alcohol in your home? It's really important to nurture your nervous system right now. 

 

There's also a connection between SSRIs and alcohol use:

 

Driven To Drink: Antidepressants and Cravings for Alcohol

 

If you're not able to stop drinking on your own, you may want to seek out Alcoholics Anonymous or a trauma-informed therapist to help you cope. 

[Kat66]

@Shep I’ve been alcohol free now for three weeks, but it sounds like you’re saying that periodic use of alcohol in the initial period of my reinstatement may have in effect disrupted the progress I could have made. That’s disappointing and I’m disappointed in myself for carrying on drinking when I could have stopped earlier. So bearing in mind you’re saying my reinstatement may never have worked, what would you advise going forward? 
Realistically I’m not able to remove all the alcohol in the house as my husband has the odd drink and has just ordered a caseload of wine (which I’m mildly annoyed about but there you go). 
Thanks so much for your input x

[Shep]

At this point, the alcohol may be what's driving a lot of your symptoms. Because your nervous system is shattered from withdrawal, adding alcohol in is like trying to walk on a broken leg. Each time you drink, you're re-injuring your wounded nervous system. 

 

If you feel the reinstatement helped even a little, you could stay where you're at and focus on learning distractions and self-care so you don't resort to alcohol. However, if you're not feeling any better than you were back in August when you reinstated, you may want to get off it. 

 

Since you've been on the reinstated dose for several months, you'll need to slowly taper it at no more than 10% per month of the previous month's dose. You may want to make a 5% reduction and see if there are any changes. 

 

[Kat66]

Thank you @Shep, I was planning on starting to taper after Xmas anyway, so it makes sense to maybe bring that forward and start to taper off now. I could beat myself up for continuing to have the odd drink but that won’t achieve anything. I will concentrate even more on coping strategies and self care. Again most grateful for your wisdom x

[Onmyway]

9 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Thank you @Shep, I was planning on starting to taper after Xmas anyway, so it makes sense to maybe bring that forward and start to taper off now. I could beat myself up for continuing to have the odd drink but that won’t achieve anything. I will concentrate even more on coping strategies and self care. Again most grateful for your wisdom x

Hi @Kat66, 

there is no reason to berate yourself for the past alcohol use. You did what you knew best at that time and what you could cope with. You have learned to take better care of yourself now and will resist the temptation now. The easiest way to get off of a habit is to replace it with a different habit. Are there other ways in which you can distract yourself - indulge in a bubble bath instead of alcohol? Watch a favorite show? Read an interesting book? Knit a scarf? Will volunteering make you feel better about yourself? Can you explore some of these issues with a therapist? 

 

Withdrawal really challenges us to find coping strategies and patience and I have no doubt that you have it in you to find ways to lessen the pain without using alcohol. Let your creative side reign!

 

What are your most significant symptoms right now? What coping strategies work to lessen them even if it's a tiny bit? 

 

Hope you feel better soon and this wave passes by quickly, 
OMW

 

Edited November 28, 2021 by Onmyway

[Greatful]

@Kat66

How are you doing?  I am feel better about my taper now when they told you to go ahead and taper off with out stabilizing more.  

We will definitely have to hold each other up.

We can do this❤️

Then hard part is the second guessing everything when we are in a bad spot....

Thoughts Thoughts Thoughts. How they want to rule over you......

Hang on the core person inside of you.  Get out of your mind......