UkDave: stuck in the antidepressant loop

[getofflex]

On 10/31/2021 at 6:40 AM, UkDave said:

Plus in a few months the effects of the medication will become less prominent so even though i'll be tapering a anti depressant my life will improve having my emotions come back 🙏🏼

Yes, this should happen.  It has happened for me!  Even though I'm still dealing with some symptoms and issues, such as sleep issues, neuro emotions, etc, I'm much better off now, because I have my emotions back, and my true self back.  It's been well worth it.  

 

 

[UkDave]

7 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Yes, this should happen.  It has happened for me!  Even though I'm still dealing with some symptoms and issues, such as sleep issues, neuro emotions, etc, I'm much better off now, because I have my emotions back, and my true self back.  It's been well worth it.

 

Thanks for the information, As soon as I started my taper my mental health improved knowing that as I went lower in dosage my emotions would come back! which has been the biggest issue I've had all these years.

 

By June next year i'll be taking just 10mg if the taper goes ok, I see from peoples input on the site things get more intense as the taper dosage gets lower. I haven't got a problem staying on that dose if my CNS isn't adjusting well enough because I will have most of my emotions back off previous experience.

[mstimc]

So glad CBT is working for you, Dave.  Its amazing--some of the concepts are so simple yet so powerful.  You're doing great!

[UkDave]

45 minutes ago, mstimc said:

So glad CBT is working for you, Dave.  Its amazing--some of the concepts are so simple yet so powerful.  You're doing great!

I haven’t got into the meat & potatoes of it yet! But just having someone out of my bubble to talk to and reassure me is a massive positive 😁

[Faure]

Yes, I read sedated, it was eye opening.  Very useful book☺️
 

Glad everything continues to go well with the taper. Mine is going incredibly well, so well I can’t quite believe it. I can deal with so much more than I could just a couple of months ago and things that would have caused anxiety before (when I was on the higher dose and in previous years), aren’t now. I think because of the meditation and also the work I did with a therapist for about 3 years on meeting my needs and self care. 

[UkDave]

10 minutes ago, Faure said:

Yes, I read sedated, it was eye opening.  Very useful book☺️
 

Glad everything continues to go well with the taper. Mine is going incredibly well, so well I can’t quite believe it. I can deal with so much more than I could just a couple of months ago and things that would have caused anxiety before

 

Thats Amazing news Faure I'm really happy for you ☺️ 

 

Its amazing to here that the taper process is successful, It gives everybody great hope hearing your success!

 

Books like sedated help our minds deal with this whole situation, Taper + Self help book = Winning 💪🏼

[UkDave]

Hi everyone, Happy New Year!

 

Just checking in, I've never been on the website for about 6 weeks, I thought i'd pop on and see whats happening!

 

I'm down to 25mg of sertraline now been doing a 5% taper, I referenced the taper topic Calculate Dosage to help me with working out the correct dosage to cut the tablet, I'd have been lost without it.

 

I think i'm on 1 big side effect if i'm honest with my CNS constantly changing each week. My emotions are slowly coming back as is my libido of sorts But i'm constantly fatigued which I believe is down to the withdrawal of the medication, I am sleeping ok, I'm eating a healthy ish balanced diet and I get to the gym most weeks pushing through it as oppose to the lack of energy getting me down.

 

I'm going to stick to 25mg Sertraline for the next month to 6 weeks to try stabilise my CNS before moving forward with further reductions, I feel it'll be good to level out of sorts and give my CNS a break.

 

Like I wrote i'm getting to the Gym which is a massive positive for me it really helps me Mentally as well as physically. I am not having cold showers no more ... Its cold baths 🥶 now 😆 

 

I've conditioned myself through weeks & weeks of having cold showers I can actually get into a cold bath. The effects are unreal I feel amazing after (I've read it boosts your metabolism & immune system while It trains you to stressful situations << Can't get more stressful than medication withdrawal)

 

I'm doing everything I can to help me, help myself minimise the side effects or if I cannot trying to turn them into a positive like I have with my lifestyle.

 

Thats why I know when I feel sluggish, Brain fog or fatigued its my CNS being out of control! 

 

Don't get me wrong I still have pizza, chocolate etc. I go to the Sunderland matches a few 🍺s with my mates but now I am drinking to have fun and socialise as before I was drinking to self medicate!

 

BIG STATEMENT! I have not been SUICIDAL for about 6 weeks!

 

I'm not having intrusive thoughts either! I believe its because I now have HOPE!!! which I haven't had in my adult life up until this point. I'm not ashamed or insecure to say it, the medication and all that went with it, on or CT off it had me done.

 

It sounds bizarre typing it, But I don't think WHAT IF << What if I just jump in front of this lorry, What if I just jump off this bridge, What if I just drive into oncoming traffic, Intrusive suicidal thoughts are disappearing which is also amazing for my well being << It became my normal 🤷🏼‍♂️

 

I'll be forever indebted to this site << I'm not out the woods YET! but I may have been hanging in 1 had I not found this site. Sorry for the bluntness but I was starting to give up hope of ever getting off this medication.

 

I'm back to my C.B.T sessions this month after the Christmas break, they're very helpful, I had taught myself a lot of the techniques through self help books which the therapist acknowledged but I am still going into it with a open mind and see what happens.

 

I wish everybody all the best for the New Year, Hopefully we all have a easy time of getting off these horrible medications.

 

[mstimc]

Great post, UKDave!  Its so important to share your success stories, not only for others but for yourself as well.  They're a reminder of how much progress you've made compared to just a few months ago.  You are doing great, and I hope you continue to find value in CBT!

[Blossom71]

Hi Dave (waving at you from Leeds!)

 

I've just read though your story and wanted to say that I’ve found it really inspiring. Your motivation and commitment to not only coming off the drugs, but also to improve your health and well-being really comes through on your posts.  It’s easy to think we are broken and won’t ever get off these drugs and be well, but your posts have given me a well timed boost of confidence.

 

I've just started my taper from 50mg sertraline.  Today is day 6 of a 10% drop and so far so good!

 

I wish you well and will keep dropping in to see you’re doing.

[UkDave]

Thanks for the reply Tim, I really appreciate your encouragement when I post 😉

 

18 hours ago, mstimc said:

They're a reminder of how much progress you've made compared to just a few months ago.  You are doing great

 

You know what this has been on my mind today, thanks for reminding me. I was in a very very dark place only 6 months ago, It is sometimes easy to forget how we can progress over only a short period of time.

 

There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel! Something I never thought possible.

 

10 hours ago, Blossom71 said:

Hi Dave (waving at you from Leeds!)

 

This made me smile 😄 ... Hi 👋🏼 

 

10 hours ago, Blossom71 said:

I've just read though your story and wanted to say that I’ve found it really inspiring. Your motivation and commitment to not only coming off the drugs, but also to improve your health and well-being really comes through on your posts.  It’s easy to think we are broken and won’t ever get off these drugs and be well, but your posts have given me a well timed boost of confidence.

 

Thats amazing and also surreal as I came to this site naturally for myself to see if there was a solution to this madness of prescribed harm not thinking I would help spread positivity which is mint

 

Unfortunately like all of us I've learned the hard way, I'm really glad you have found some comfort and hopefully inspiration in my posts, As I have with lots of posts on this site.

 

10 hours ago, Blossom71 said:

I've just started my taper from 50mg sertraline.  Today is day 6 of a 10% drop and so far so good!

 

Thats amazing, What advice I will pass onto you which only you know, Listen to your mind & body ...

 

You know yourself better than any doctor etc if you feeling things are not right, hold the dose and let your CNS stabilise << I'm basically passing on what i've learned on this site from various posts, Its definitely working for me hence me reiterating that point.

 

Slow & Steady Its what the lovely people on this site kept telling me and I can vouch for that it works 😁

[mstimc]

3 minutes ago, UkDave said:

You know what this has been on my mind today, thanks for reminding me. I was in a very very dark place only 6 months ago, It is sometimes easy to forget how we can progress over only a short period of time.

👍  We really can't measure progress from day-to-day because of the rollercoaster nature of recovery.  Looking at it long-term, by months makes it easier for you to see the progress you've made!

[UkDave]

Just now, mstimc said:

👍  We really can't measure progress from day-to-day because of the rollercoaster nature of recovery.  Looking at it long-term, by months makes it easier for you to see the progress you've made!

 

You know yourself when things are difficult you are just hoping someone has a magic wand to make it all go away

 

I'm in no rush now with the taper because I know its working, If I have to hold for weeks at certain doses like I am going to do now till the end of February to let my CNS settle then so be it.

 

Maybes next year i'll be Medication free but its no biggie because its not a cloud hanging over my head like it has been, I'm actually happy with hope << Sometime I never thought possible 😁

[mstimc]

4 minutes ago, UkDave said:

Maybes next year i'll be Medication free but its no biggie because its not a cloud hanging over my head like it has been, I'm actually happy with hope << Sometime I never thought possible 😁

Great approach, UKDave!

[Blossom71]

2 hours ago, UkDave said:

 

Thats amazing and also surreal as I came to this site naturally for myself to see if there was a solution to this madness of prescribed harm not thinking I would help spread positivity which is mint

 

 

We’ll you have 😀 and thank you. Your story is also the most similar to mine and you are just ahead of me tapering off the same drug, but I found the way you write really calming to read.

 

As for listening to my body….Absolutely!  Since I started the taper am keeping things as low key as possible so that I can listen to my mind and body better.  I’m trying to tread that fine line between checking in my mind and body regularly but not obsessing about how I’m feeling. I guess I’ll get better at that as time goes on.

[Faure]

Hi @UkDave I'm so happy to read your news. Glad it's all going so well for you and you're listening to your body and doing a long hold. I always feel excited after my 2 week holds on the Brass Monkey slide, ready to start again (tomorrow I start the journey to 8.1mg). We will get off and live our lives as we want! And the good thing is, as you've said, is we don't have to wait till the end to start feeling better🙂

[UkDave]

Hi @Faure I take onboard everything when people give me advice << You were the 1 that kept telling me ...

 

*Slow & Steady* ... *Listen to your body* ... 💭

 

Welllllllllll I completely took that advice onboard & then when I had a wobble, I had a little word with myself then instead of getting scared thinking, this, that and the other 🤯 I looked at how fast I have been tapering and did I need a break ...

 

So a long hold was on the cards to bring back some equilibrium to my CNS! 😁

 

4 hours ago, Faure said:

I always feel excited after my 2 week holds on the Brass Monkey slide, ready to start again (tomorrow I start the journey to 8.1mg). 

 

I wish you all the best of Luck Faure and hope everything goes smoothly for you 😊

[Faure]

Wow, 5% a week is 20% every four weeks which is double the 10% every 4 weeks that is recommended on here. Be careful, better to be safe than sorry. I'm glad you're starting to feel ok now.

[UkDave]

22 hours ago, Faure said:

Wow, 5% a week is 20% every four weeks which is double the 10% every 4 weeks that is recommended on here. Be careful, better to be safe than sorry. I'm glad you're starting to feel ok now.

I'll have to amend me signature its 5% a month 😁

[Erimus]

How you getting on Dave? @UkDave. Hope things are ok.

[UkDave]

Hi everybody, I've just come on to post an update as i've been quiet on the site for a few months apart from popping on to refer to the taper section to keep me on track with dosages and weighing tablets etc.

 

I was going to post an update on the 7th of July because then it will have been a year since I found this site and joined this amazing community, which has literally saved my life.

 

I'm at around 18mg dosage of Sertraline at the moment. I was reducing my dosage weekly by roughly 1mg but it was too hard on my CNS so I've just listened to my body and some dosage i've stopped on for 6 weeks to level out and other times I've reduced at 1mg a week then have a break after 2/3 weeks on that dosage.

 

I am going through waves (a term I learnt from this site) of side effects. I have a few weeks where i'm *Top of the Pops* (Very good mood for the members outside the uk 😆) then some like the last few weeks where i'm quite low and definitely suffering high bouts of *Akathisia*

 

*Extreme agitation, *Irritable, *Violent impulses, *Racing thoughts, *Mania, *Tinnitus, *Hyperacusis (Noise Sensitivity) *Vertigo *Extreme Tireness ...

 

They all driving me mad in equal measures but the Tinnitus and Noise sensitive is a killer!

 

Finding this site opened my eyes but reading Beverley Thomsons Antidepressed has literally changed my life in terms of thought process. I'd strongly recommend reading it.

 

The chapter in the book about Akathisia changed my whole out look on the medication/withdrawal syndrome and how I've aways relied on the doctors when I stopped the medication and crashed then literally about to burn before I found this site and looked into why I had been suffering all these years.

 

I always thought it was *ME* I was the problem, I needed help, I had the chemical imbalance!

 

I do believe in the *Chemical Imbalance* but its not what Big Pharma are selling its only *AFTER* you've been proscribed and taken ...

 

A PSYCHOTROPIC MEDICATION The lying C*%Ts ...

 

That's when the Chemical imbalance occurs !!!

 

I'm trying to live a healthy lifestyle, Zero Alcohol and love the Gym but with the side effects I have been missing weeks at a time BUT I am learning to play the Piano which feeds my creativity and takes me away from all the Bull **** which is a massive plus 

 

I hope everybody is well and fighting these bastard demons, we will get through this 😊

[Erimus]

1 hour ago, UkDave said:

I always thought it was *ME* I was the problem, I needed help, I had the chemical imbalance!

 

I do believe in the *Chemical Imbalance* but its not what Big Pharma are selling its only *AFTER* you've been proscribed and taken ...

 

A PSYCHOTROPIC MEDICATION The lying C*%Ts ...

 

That's when the Chemical imbalance occurs !!!

It’s a right eye-opener when you start to dig deeper into these drugs and what they really do isn’t it. I have to restrain myself from getting too angry with it all haha. The best we can do is get ourselves off the drugs and try and teach others before they fall for the trap we fell in to.

[UkDave]

36 minutes ago, Erimus said:

It’s a right eye-opener when you start to dig deeper into these drugs and what they really do isn’t it. I have to restrain myself from getting too angry with it all haha. The best we can do is get ourselves off the drugs and try and teach others before they fall for the trap we fell in to.

I understand how we can all get angry by looking back and thinking what if and like you’ve said. If we look back it creates anger which is robbing us all over again.

 

I think it’s more positive especially with the knowledge we now have to look to the future. 
 

I am getting my emotions back and knowing everything I’m experiencing is from withdrawal/dependency from the medication it gives me hope knowing somewhere down the line this nightmare will end and can finally live without these horrible drugs. 

 

[Kaervin]

Hi Dave. Currently trying to stabilize from a 50% cut from 25mgs to 12.5 mgs of sertraline back in March. I plan to slowly taper just like you. I will be following your progress and wish you the best of luck.

[Erimus]

Hope you’re doing okay @UkDave . How’s the taper going? If you don’t mind me asking.

[UkDave]

Hi everybody, I haven't been on the site for a while I thought I would do an update.

 

That isn't strictly true. I popped onto the site as I think I have took twice the dose today by mistake so it was a bit self indulgent to put a post on my apologies. I had a notification from @Erimus asking how I was getting on, Thank you for asking It means a lot.

 

I am hanging in there!

 

My taper dosage is currently at 11.6mg of Sertraline. I stopped on around 13mg for nearly 2 months over the summer. I was following the brass monkey slide technique of a 5% taper a month with a break, as I have got lower in dose it is becoming more taxing on my CNS which I sort of expected as I have read lots of the taper stories on this site.

 

Over the summer MY MOOD SWINGS WERE UNREAL! Angry/Paranoid < I believe they go hand in hand. Talking 500 mph << Which I realised was the Akathisia kicking in as unknowing I had gone to low to fast.

 

I drive a van for a living, the amount of times I had road rage on a hourly not daily basis was unreal, I contemplated going on the sick from work a few times obviously I can't afford to be on SSP. I have been low but I know all of these emotions are part of a wave, my CNS being in chaos and it is all out of my hands hence why I stopped on the same dose for longer than the brass monkey slide technique suggested. 

 

I had been learning to the play the piano which I really really love, Left/Right side of the brain being stimulated together and it hits my creative juices. Sadly my head is so scrambled, also stopped going to the football matches as I am so sensitive to touch and vibrations << kicking my seat and stuff had me over the edge.

 

I am currently on a few days holiday, I have chilled right out which is brilliant.  I know as soon as I go back to work my nerves will go ballistic but I need human interaction and even though I don't have the best job in the world it give me a living but most importantly structure.

 

There is some positives though !!!

 

I started to learn !!! Sounds mad being an adult but I wasn't living right sooooo something had to give. Podcasts, reading books.

 

Basically in a nut shell ...

 

Do the Basics, Eat healthy (ish), Zero Alcohol or Recreational Drugs, Sleep and don't do these horrible psychotropic drugs << thats a given we all on this site 🤦🏼‍♂️

 

SLEEP is the most important, So even though we're on these medications which ultimately F*CK everything up. I was only having around 4 hours sleep a night while self medicating on alcohol << which isn't the best combination but one we only know how to try and avoid this pain we all in.

 

"Get more sleep" We've all heard the term right, But noooooo chance. So I looked into what effected my sleep and tried to eliminate any thing that affected my sleep as much as I could,

 

Whichhhhhhh IN TURNNNNNNN, I now sleep on average 7 hours a night, have lost 20 pounds, I am in the gym every mornings (well 4/5 days a week) at 6:30 am and eat 80% clean decent diet which all contributes to me feeling top of the world.

 

*Bar my CNS being in chaos and wanting to kill every body that comes into my space or cuts me up in there car 😜 << BUTTTT they are only thoughts I don't act out on them which is the main thing or I would just be another mental health statistic that lost his **** << Not happening!*

 

I have also learned about myself in regards to my character trait, which I felt was the key to learning why the doctor gave me this medications in the first place.

 

I have learned I am an empath What is an Empath. I am a very sensitive person which I did't really know about before, growing up as a 90s teenager being sensitive was't on the agenda (everybody will have had the term MAN UP tossed at them at some point on our journeys *Male or Female*)

 

Once you learn what sort of characters or situations irritates you, you can either learn how to deal with them/it or avoid them people/situations altogether which will massively help your mental health.

 

Sorry for the long post, I'm not in a best place but I have put myself in the best place now and educating myself more everyday which can only be a positive.

 

I hope anybody that reads this takes some sort of salvation or even inspiration from it and I will be a very happy person << bar a bit angry 😅

[UkDave]

👆🏼 Thats basically the last 7/8 months of my life in a nut shell hence the long post 🤦🏼‍♂️

[Erimus]

Sounds like you’re doing pretty well all things considered @UkDave. One benefit from this journey is that it forces you to learn how to better take care of your health. All those positive changes will benefit you now and in life beyond medication. There’s no shame in holding either, you’re more likely to be successful in getting off.

 

I’ve got a season ticket at Middlesbrough but haven’t been since before covid. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being stood in a stadium full of people in my current fragile and agitated situation. One day I’ll get back to it ! I’m not missing much at the moment like.. haha.

[UkDave]

1 hour ago, Erimus said:

One benefit from this journey is that it forces you to learn how to better take care of your health. All those positive changes will benefit you now and in life beyond medication.

1 of the podcasts I listen to is Feel Better Live Longer He had a guy on called Gabor Maté, He talks about how people find themselves in grief! it was a massive eye opener

 

I have just literally got his book on audible yesterday The Myth of Normal Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture << he was promoting that book on the podcast, I haven't started it yet its 18 hours long 😅

 

I'm 43 now and been on anti depressants since I was 21 and literally done the same loop for 22 years. prescribed 1 didn't work. cold turkey, crash! then prescribed a different anti depressant. I found this site in a very dark place but I think I have the maturity now to learn and take onboard advice

 

1 hour ago, Erimus said:

’ve got a season ticket at Middlesbrough but haven’t been since before covid. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being stood in a stadium full of people in my current fragile and agitated situation. One day I’ll get back to it ! I’m not missing much at the moment like.. haha.

Being a Makem I'm saying NOWT 😝

 

Mate, This is 1 of the reasons I stopped drinking and knew it was becoming a problem. The matches became my escape. The lads, the day out but it all suddenly rolled into 1 massive bender then hangover and I couldn't cope, Hence why after we got to Wembley, it was like a full stop, right new chapter! CHANGE!

 

Last season in league 1 the average attendance was 27 thousand I think half the stadium was massive gaps in the sitting this season its high 30s we crammed in like sardines, add that to now being sober and seeing how everybody behaves, its a massive drain on my emotions.

[Erimus]

Yeah I understand. I loved nothing more than a day out at the football, home and away. I think I just loved the social aspect of it, the football was just the excuse to get together and have a laugh with mates. Particularly in the North East the whole culture revolves around working hard, drinking, and going to the football. It’s really hard to disconnect from that mindset so you’ve done well.

 

Like yourself I had to step away from it because it isn’t the right thing for my current state. For a long time I avoided the whole sport because it hurt I was missing out. These days I’m accepting of my fate. The good thing about it is it’ll always be there when we’re ready to step back in.

 

Doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere this season so that softens the blow haha.

[Faure]

Hi Dave, how great to hear from you. I’d been wondering how you are. You may get an effect from an accidental double dose. I did: a couple of years ago I double dosed (before my taper) and a full 3 weeks later I hit the skids. Had a terrible week. So just watch out for that and know that’s what it is if it happens. It’s what gave me the kick I needed to get off the drug. 
 

Sorry to hear about the road and other rage. I have to say that this 40 minute body scan has calmed me down no end. I started it in March 2020 and have done it most days since. I’m so much more patient and aware of how I’m feeling, do give it a go on your journey to enlightenment! 😜

 

I strongly recommend sticking to the BrassMonkey slide, especially in terms of not going faster. Longer holds when necessary. I’ve stuck to it and have had no loss of stability / mood swings (other than my usual ones which are there with and without ADs 😂😂) I especially have not got “high” which I did when I was skipping days before finding this website. 
 

Don’t be a stranger ☺️

 

 

[UkDave]

31 minutes ago, Faure said:

Hi Dave, how great to hear from you. I’d been wondering how you are.

Hi, Thank you Faure. I'm glad I popped on and posted I have had a great boost today from it.

 

I have popped on from time to time, I read the latest topics or read a success story to keep me visualising the end goal.

 

I have been very low 2 or 3 times especially in the summer with me not being on for a while I felt crap, I know I know I know, Today obviously I thought F*ck it and as you can see by the length of my post earlier an out pouring of emotions.

 

Madly enough "Slow & Steady" is still imprinted in my brain which you gave me that great advice, thats is also the reason I did hold, I noticed either people holding and slow and steady fits that mantra 😌

 

31 minutes ago, Faure said:

You may get an effect from an accidental double dose. I did: a couple of years ago I double dosed (before my taper) and a full 3 weeks later I hit the skids. Had a terrible week. So just watch out for that and know that’s what it is if it happens

I had a ringing in my ear earlier which I had last year when I went back on the medication maybes just coincidence also the placebo effect thinking things into existence so I just told myself to shut on and crack on 👀

 

31 minutes ago, Faure said:

I have to say that this 40 minute body scan has calmed me down no end. I started it in March 2020 and have done it most days since. I’m so much more patient and aware of how I’m feeling

I had my headphones in for bed the other month and Micheal Sealy is it popped I smirked, his voice sent me straight to sleep. Again great advice.

 

Well done on becoming a mentor as well it fits you perfectly 😊

[UkDave]

Hi all. I Hope everybody is doing ok. 
 

I have now gone on the sick from work. I generally feel ok and can do daily activity no real problem, I work in the motor trade as a van driver. The stress of driving has had my levels of anxiety high for months and there has been a few changes in my work place that isn’t sitting right with me so marrying the 2 together add in the effects of the taper I’ve basically had enough. 
 

I have worked in the same industry for years and know the situation when it comes to personal and get the job done at all costs attitude. I can normally navigate the daily bull **** and stresses of the roads to a degree but I’ve just had enough. 
 

I'm fortunate enough to to be able to go on the sick without any money worries for the foreseeable future << I only go to the gym and have little dept 

 

I am taking a pragmatic approach to going off work, get in the gym first thing on the morning then Brain stimulation through podcasts, listening to audible or playing the piano. 
 

I have just become overwhelmed with the day to day mundane job. the roads seem to getting worse with every body being so stressed 🤷🏼‍♂️

 

I am now thinking some of the symptoms I naively thought I might have been going through because of the taper (which I have been taking “slow & steady”) might be from day to day stresses also!

[UkDave]

Hi everybody I need a bit of advice ...

 

My self certified sick runs out on Friday which means I am going to get a sick note, The doctor that I will see (In what form I don't know, In person or telephone) shall I mention my taper ?

 

My initial thought is to lay out my anxieties regarding work and to say I am still taking my 50mg Sertraline prescribed dosage. As I soon as I mention my anxieties they might even suggest I up the dose I am not now taking 🤷🏼‍♂️ too many years of dealing with these doctors I know what will be suggested to me, its almost like they're reading it all from a script 🤔

 

I have really bad head pressure, I feel like theres a major motorway connected to my left ear with bouts of tinnitus and sound in general is irritating me << I know this to be off the taper from the medication

 

I am generally irritable, I thought going off work would relax me which it has to a degree but now I have created the natural anxiety of being on SSP < I feel like I am trapped which I have done for years all created by the amount of time I have been incapacitated from the medication.

 

As we all know on here the Doctor will have none of this and point to it all being a different problem that I am dealing with.

 

Any advice is much appreciated 🙂

[Faure]

On 10/23/2022 at 4:32 PM, UkDave said:

The stress of driving has had my levels of anxiety high for months and there has been a few changes in my work place that isn’t sitting right with me so marrying

Hi Dave, sorry to hear you’re feeling stressed by work and have had to take some time off.

 

Does the doctor know about your taper at all? Is it in your notes? I had a medication review a few weeks ago with a doctor I have seen in the past but more recently I’d been seeing another one who had approved the 10% taper.  Anyway the doctor I spoke to said I sounded very well (he does know me well enough to be able to tell) and was interested in my taper which I had to explain to him.  I also mentioned the guidance from the Royal College of Psychiatrists which also recommends slow tapering. He was happy for me to carry on as I wanted and afterwards I heard he had looked up the advice and was going to share it with his team.

 

It seems to me that there are two issues - the taper and the stress from work.  Is the main problem the stress from driving and is this something you need to address? If work is causing you ongoing stress is it possible to find different work? Taking medication to deal with work related stress is not a sustainable or healthy way of going about things and of course you don’t want to increase your medication at all anyway when your goal is to get off it. 
 

So if the problem is stress from work then do you need time off to work out how best to deal with this and explore other work options? I think this is something the doctor could support you with….

 

It doesn’t sound like the taper is going particularly badly. Are you currently holding during this period of stress?

 

A final thought - some people say they just tell the doctor they are doing well on the dose they are taking….this avoids having to say about the taper… I guess it depends how open minded and supportive your doctor actually is. But ye not really doing well so probably you don’t need to say this.
 

Seems to me stress from work needs to be addressed by exploring other options- if other options are a possibility. 
 

 

[UkDave]

Hi @Faure Thank you for your response and advice 🙂

 

1 hour ago, Faure said:

Does the doctor know about your taper at all? Is it in your notes?

No, when I CT'ed last year and then reinstated the Doctor prescribed me with 50mg of Sertraline (The doctor wanted me on 100mg I said it was to high which I feel he didn't agree with) armed with my new found knowledge from this site I had said to him I thought I was experiencing withdrawal effects and was sharply shut down as they was no such thing 😡

 

Bar a follow up telephone call 2 weeks after I had been prescribed the medication, then back to the repeat prescription after repeat prescription, So my file will say 50mg daily on my records.

 

1 hour ago, Faure said:

It seems to me that there are two issues - the taper and the stress from work.  Is the main problem the stress from driving and is this something you need to address?

I completely agree, I had worked in a warehouse for a long time which wasn't the most stimulating job in the world but suited me so much better, funnily enough I hated driving to and from work 🤦🏼‍♂️

 

My mate offered me the job I am doing now June 2021 just before I crashed, CT. It was the right time to move on from the previous job but it was apparent from the first week what I was in for stress wise but I was also about to crash from the CT, on going back to work I learned to manage it, truthfully I don't mind it but like I said in my previous post there has been some changes in personal then add that onto of the frustration of the roads it has got to much for me at this point.

 

I have signed up for an agency, I actually was offered a job yesterday but it didn't suit me so at least I know I am not stuck if I decide not to go back into the job I currently work at.

 

1 hour ago, Faure said:

It doesn’t sound like the taper is going particularly badly. Are you currently holding during this period of stress?

I am roughly on 11mg today which I went onto yesterday after 2/3 weeks on my previous dose of 11.6mg.

 

I know I am not happy in life, My private life is non existent and my work life is mundane so this then brings the conflicts is to what is causing my stress ?

 

When I explain to people how I live they say wellll thats ok! but I feel lost and unfulfilled which I have done for ever. 

 

I am being a pragmatic, I go to the gym most mornings at 6:30am, I don't drink alcohol or do drugs, healthy diet, I listen to books/podcasts daily to help me learn even more about what I am going through.

 

I have experienced side effects from the medication on a stable dose and from the taper so I don't know if my being agitated is form the medication or work.

 

The top and bottom of it is I am stuck in a Job I hate and stuck on a medication I can't get off 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Faure]

It sounds like you have options work wise. How about tackling one thing at a time and looking at different work opportunities? Seems like you can mention work stress to the doctor and get signed off another week without mentioning the taper, especially if they don’t believe WD effects exist. If they insist on updosing  then you might need to mention your tapering goals and you can refer them to the guidance and they will probably take a look as it’s from a very respected body (at least in the medical profession).
 

I sympathise with a non existent private life. I think that is common for a lot of people who have had to take anti depressants and deal with all the difficulties of needing them in the first place and then trying to get off them entail. We have to be very selfish to look after ourselves properly (at least I feel that I am very selfish). 
 

It sounds like you are functioning well. Have you heard of Meetup.com? It’s a brilliant website with groups for every interest. I was lucky enough to meet a friend via a group who has become my closest friend and a huge support in this tapering and life journey. Do have a look and go along to some events, initial events are a bit daunting but as soon as you get to know some people it’s much easier. 
 

You will get off this medication. Look how far you have come. It sounds like you’re feeling pretty down at the moment and who can blame you. Not liking a job is very difficult.  If you want advice from a mod about your taper then tag one who has previously helped you here. They may have some words of wisdom for you. 
 

It also sounds like you have lots of good strategies and things to occupy you so from here it looks like you’re doing pretty well. 
 

I’m logging off the site for the rest of today but will check in in a day or two ☺️