Hedges98: 9 years of hell

[Hedges98]

 Hi everyone, I hope me posting my story is ok, I'm looking for validation this isn't all in my head, this is what happened to me and I want to find and hear from other people similar things have happened to them. There is no accountability and no name for SSRI withdrawal that never goes away, I have been left disabled with what I believe is damage to to the receptor sites in my brain that Escitalipram effects.

 

I got food poisoning from a resteraunt and was very sick in hospital, they forgott my Escitalipram, I was in hospital 2 weeks and told if I felt fine there was no reason to start taking them again. What followe was: Anxiety I've never had in my life, feelings I was dying impending doom, burning pain in my body and chest so severe I wanted to die and claw it out(I know believe this was my nerve endings being effected) hot and cold sweats, suicidal thoughts, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sit still I was in literal torture. I was taken to a psychiatric hospital for a month, told I was bipolar or something else despite no history of this...The ONLY thing that turned me from well to this mess was coming off Escitalipram 20mg that I'd been on for years cold turkey. No one believe us.

 

Then the drug cocktails started I will put in a flair, I have also had 33 Electro convulsive therapies.

 

Some of the nerve pain is better now I think down to the tricyclic but I cannot shower regularly it leaves me shaking, I can't cook or care for myself properly, 9 years on from that acute withdrawal from Escitalipram I am very unwell and that's the only thing that happened to change my life from well to disabled. I'm too scared to come off the lithium and Dosulepin, some things are worse than dying, no one knows what coming off lithium or Dosulepin will do to me. Thank you for your time.

 

 

Will add screenshot meds till can figure out adding a flair

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Hedges98

 

I am very sorry you've gone through this. Yes, you had severe withdrawal from escilatopram and the subsequent treatment with other drugs and ECT probably was unnecessary.

 

What drugs are you taking now, at what times of day and dosages?

[Hedges98]

Hey altostrata, I take 150mg of Dosulepin and 600mg Lithium at night before I try and sleep.

I had the burning physical pain from SSRi withdrawal so many mention that I read and know is down to disrupting signals to your nerves. The only breakthrough I had was Dosulepin lessening this pain. I've read allot on lithium and it seems no one know much and that's what is scary having been on it so long. It puts salt deposits in your brain synapses to slow signaling and this you get it's anti suicidal making people calm zombie effect. Having your emotions restricted for so long coming off it is frighting. But I am wrestling with the idea of coming off both not at the same time, simply because there's nothing left to try. I am disabled with my parents as my carers as a result of severe SSRI withdrawal, I was a normal working functioning adult before all this and it's so hard for people to believe that.

Wishing you well 

[Altostrata]

Isn't your doctor monitoring your liver and kidney function because you're taking lithium? Have you ever discussed lowering the dose?

 

What is your sleep pattern? Did you ever take lithium earlier in the day?

 

[Hedges98]

Yes they are and I take the minimum dose to keep my levels in my blood. The answers of coming off it are not helpfull, they believe it'd anti suicidal and why I haven't killed myself. Non have given me straight answers on withdrawals etc one even said if you just stop there are no withdrawals.

 

I take lithium XR so it's best to take at night as it makes you feels sick and drugged.

 

I have insomnia issues due to endometriosis, withdrawals even 9 years on left me without the ability to feel tired to sleep. Ive done sleep clinic, melatonin etc all that. The Dosulepin can knock me out but rarely. I have in 9 years got the best thing for myself figured, good quality undisturbed sleep when I can and when the insomnia pisjes me sleep to daytime's to push it slowly back round to normal waking hours.