Yersinia: 150 mg Effexor XR for ~16 years

[Yersinia]

Slept better last night: 5 hours straight then dozed for two hours without anxiety waking me up. I hate being so addicted to this stuff that I’m like a junkie. I just wanted help with depression way back when.  But two things I’ve learned from reading the stories on this site is to not start tapering too early or too fast.  Question for the mods: Assuming my reinstatement is working, how long should I stay at this dose? At least a few months?  I’m honestly in no rush at this point - I want to get off this garbage but I don’t want to tangle with withdrawal again if I can avoid it. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt.

[Yersinia]

Had lots of low level anxiety yesterday and had difficulties sleeping. Still managed maybe 6 hours sleep in two 3-hour chunks. 

[Greatful]

@Yersinia 

2 hours ago, Yersinia said:

Still managed maybe 6 hours sleep in two 3-hour chunks. 

 

That is about how my nights go.  I sleep but I it is not a relaxed restful sleep.  I guess you could say tense sleep.  Other then the pesty anxiety, are you still having other symptoms?

 

On 7/28/2021 at 6:31 AM, Yersinia said:

I want to get off this garbage but I don’t want to tangle with withdrawal again if I can avoid it. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt.

I couldn't have said it any better.

Somehow we will find the strength to be patient. Here comes the popular word around here  ACCEPTENCE 😊

 

Hang in there, remember all we have to do is get through today♥️ 

[Yersinia]

@Greatful I don’t vomit as much as before.  I also haven’t woken up up feeling like I’m being smothered which happened to me a few times before I figured out I was in WD (when I just thought I was losing my mind).  I don’t know - maybe I’m just trying to convince myself the reinstatement is working and my symptoms are just the same… I Hope not.

 

thanks for asking.
 

 

[Greatful]

@Yersinia  The mind is very powerful, use it to your advantage.  Any small improvement is a good thing.😊

Have a great day

[getofflex]

On 7/28/2021 at 6:31 AM, Yersinia said:

Assuming my reinstatement is working, how long should I stay at this dose? At least a few months?

Yes, we suggest you stay on it for a couple of months to allow it to fully settle, and for your nervous system to stabilize. Then we will take it from there.  

 

10 hours ago, Yersinia said:

I don’t vomit as much as before.  I also haven’t woken up up feeling like I’m being smothered which happened to me a few times before I figured out I was in WD (when I just thought I was losing my mind).  I don’t know - maybe I’m just trying to convince myself the reinstatement is working and my symptoms are just the same… I Hope not.

It sounds to me like the reinstatement is working.  And your sleep is actually pretty good for someone in WD.  I know it doesn't feel good to you, but many in WD have much worse sleep.  

[Yersinia]

Thank you @getofflex

[92sharks]

@YersiniaI went to acupuncture for the first time in my life this week. It was purely for emotional support/help. For about 24 hours my mind was so settled. I tried to ruminate, like usual, and I just couldn't. Also, I got the best sleep that night that I can remember. If possible, I would suggest trying acupuncture as one of your tools in your tool box. I'm so glad that you're continuing to post on here. I think you will get the best advice and support with w/d from the people here on SA. Sending positive thoughts. We WILL get off of Effexor!  ❤️

[92sharks]

@Yersinia What dose of Effexor are you on now?  I would prefer not advising you on what amount of Effexor you should be on. I think the moderators know best. What dose were you on when you went CT? I'm wondering if you should increase the amount you are on currently if you are still having troubling w/d symptoms? I have received the advice of going back to the dose I was on prior to experiencing w/d symptoms after dropping dose and having symptoms. I hope that makes sense. You could ask Altostrata or one of the other moderators for a specific dose if the 10mg beads are not helping enough. Try not to be afraid to go to a larger dose to clear up the w/d symptoms and then begin a much slower, less painful taper. It is SO difficult to live and function while experiencing w/d symptoms. And I think I saw that you were on Effexor for 16 years? Is that correct? 

 

[Yersinia]

@92sharks yep - 16 years I put 150mg of that toxic garbage into my body every day. Then, I blithely decided to just stop. I figured, “I’ve cold-turkeyed from alcohol (I’m a recovering alcoholic), nicotine, caffeine - I’ll grit it out”. Two months later the wheels started coming off. I went to a psychotherapist about my anxiety problems and, in the course of getting my history, I mentioned that I’d CT’ed off Effexor. He’s pretty staunchly anti-psych-drugs and told me I was still in WD. After my session, I poked around on the internet and ended up at SA. 

 

I’m currently taking 3mg Effexor daily… and I think the reinstatement is working. Last night I got 7 hours sleep total and don’t feel anxious this morning. Provided my WD symptoms stay at this level (i.e. manageable), I will hang at this dose for as long as Alto and the mods say to. 
 

Thanks for the acupuncture advice - I will look for a local provider. You’re right - we will get off Effexor. Slowly and surely. Many hugs to you, my Effexor-WD-friend. Stay strong.

[Yersinia]

Update: 

 

The night before last: slept 2 hours, woke up because our dogs were barking downstairs, slept badly the rest of the night, listening to Headspace Sleep Music.

 

last night: slept 4 hours; bathroom; slept 3 hours; dozed 2.5 more.

 

I seem to have alternating good and bad nights. Maybe part of Windows and Waves stabilization? Even the “bad” nights are better than my sleep before reinstatement so I’m very grateful.

[Greatful]

@Yersinia Good morning.

  I am sleeping longer at night but I still feel like it is a restless/ tense sleep.  It's funny, I don't get the anxiety or ruminating thoughts until around 4 or 5 in the morning.  I guess that is goo, right.  Now if I could get my brain to function better😞   

 

Have a good day🤗

[Yersinia]

@Altostrata @getofflex I got some fish oil today. I’m wondering if I can start taking it (I’ll start with a small amount once a day) or if adding another substance will obscure the results of my Effexor reinstatement? It seems like the reinstatement is working based on how my sleep has improved… so can I assume it is working and start with fish oil? Thanks for your time.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear your sleep has improved.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[92sharks]

@YersiniaJust my experience....I take OmegaBrite (brand) omegas daily and have been for years. My 3 daughters take as well, and we all have the following experience: We only notice the wonderful, helpful effects of the omegas when we don't take them for several days and then resume them. I can't describe what they do exactly, but we all just feel better. I've left them off so many times and learned how much better I feel when I take them regularly so I don't skip them any more. I do not feel it is a placebo effect. I just happened to start taking the brand that I'm on. They are expensive, so I don't think I would start them now if I wasn't able to get my original price. I will say that all omegas are not equal, so I would try to purchase a good, reputable brand, if possible. Personally, I don't think the omegas will interfere with your reinstatement. I think they will help with your w/d. I think you will still have withdrawal symptoms and that you won't notice huge improvement by taking the omegas. I would say barely perceptible improvement would be more likely. However, I think you are trying to get your ducks in a row and be as supportive to your body and brain with supplements, etc in order to prepare for trying again to get off of the Effexor. I would start slowly with omegas, as Altostrata has suggested. Too much omegas can cause loose stools until you figure out your best dose. I also don't think it is a problem to take more than the suggested dose on the box, as long as you're not having problems with loose stools. The OmegaBrite suggested dose is 3 caps a day. I take 4 which works well for me. This isn't the case with every supplement, nor every person. ❤️

[Yersinia]

Thanks @92sharks!

[Yersinia]

Didn’t sleep so well last night. 2.5 hours then bathroom then anxiety-plagued attempts to sleep. Trying to remember to be content with however much sleep I get…. That it’ll be enough. Off to work now.

[getofflex]

@Yersiniamy heart goes out to you, because I deal with the same thing some nights.  It is a tough thing to deal with.  I love your attitude - trying to be content with what sleep you do get.  It sounds like acceptance which is a great coping tool for difficult circumstances. 

[Yersinia]

Yesterday, background anxiety all day that I tried to AAF (acknowledge, accept and float) - easier said than done. I’m still so worried about being incapacitated by WD and not being able to work… and then my husband and I will lose the house and be destitute (etc, etc). Ugh. I guess that’s an anxiety spiral? In truth, nobody at work has mentioned noticing anything different about me since I CTed in April. My job is fairly independent of others so, if I can “perform” convincingly when needed and then scurry to my office to let anxiety abate, I should be OK, right?  This is what I tell myself, at least. 
 

Last night: asleep by 9:30, woke up at 2:30; anxiety; took 50 mg magnesium, listened to Headspace sleep music, breathed deeply and fell back asleep until 5:30.

[Greatful]

@Yersinia  The lovely spiral. UGH  I really can sympathize with the anxiety and trying to accept.  It is a hard one to master. 

35 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

I can “perform” convincingly when needed and then scurry to my office to let anxiety abate, I should be OK, right?  This is what I tell myself, at least. 

That's all you can ask yourself at this time.  I think you will be okay, uncomfortable yes, but okay.  Some members went to their boss and explained (how much information you feel comfortable sharing)their situation and were meet with support.

You may want to consider this if you feel your symptoms are getting in the way with your job.  Other wise limp along and try not put anymore pressure on yourself.

 

Have a great day☺️

[Yersinia]

Thanks @Greatful!

[Yersinia]

Today has been bad. Ramped up anxiety all day and I feel like I can’t catch a break. My husband and I had a discouraging talk yesterday- I think he is realizing that I won’t be “me” (i.e. low anxiety and relaxed) for a long time and he’s frustrated… which just heightens my anxiety. I tried to tell him that I’ll be back eventually but he seemed discouraged and now I’m worried he’ll leave. I hate this so much. 
 

I am wondering about my reinstatement. My sleep has improved but the anxiety is so bad. Should I keep plugging away at 3mg? 

[Yersinia]

An update:  although 6 days early, I believe my period is starting (I have cramps, etc)  I'm perimenopausal so my cycle is no longer regular.  Oddly, I feel much calmer than I did earlier today.  Is it possible that having regular, old cramps is comforting to me?  Because it's a visceral link to something from my pre-ADWD life?  There's probably a much more "biological" explanation than this.   I just think it's funny that ADWD has made me grateful for cramps.  Silver lining.

[Greatful]

@Yersinia

5 hours ago, Yersinia said:

I think he is realizing that I won’t be “me” (i.e. low anxiety and relaxed) for a long time and he’s frustrated…

I'm so  sorry, going through W/D does affect everyone involved.  I know my husband has shown some impatience but I have to allow that.  I am sure it is hard for anyone to watch their loved ones in so much pain.  Do you really think he would leave you?  Hopefully you two can sit down and  talk about it some more. There will be flair ups with emotions on both side when in W/D.  I would get frustrated thinking he just doesn't understand, I think we are coming together more now,  I have been more clear about what I need from him and I also need to give him space to work through how it is affecting him.  Would he be interested in reading some of the success stories?   Remind yourself you don't know how long this will take,  some recover quickly.

 

48 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

 I just think it's funny that ADWD has made me grateful for cramps.  Silver lining.

I am through menopause,  Your are right, I would trade my W/D for getting my period again and having cramps.  I would gladly put up with a few hormonal days🤪

 

Things will workout, stay strong.❤️

[Yersinia]

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

Do you really think he would leave you?

No - but I think he may be trying to convince himself that this is less serious than it is.  He doesn’t want to look at SA and he gets mad when he sees me on this site because it makes me more anxious sometimes.
 

You’re very wise…  I have to allow him to work through his feelings about this. I can tell it pains him to see me so anxious but then he gets frustrated because there’s nothing he can do. 

[92sharks]

@YersiniaI am very, very lucky to have the husband that I do. But, he also gets frustrated occasionally with the crying, negativity, paranoia, bad days, etc. I know w/d is exhausting for him like it is for me. I also know he wants to help, wants to fix it, and he can't. He wants me to do things to feel my best so I don't have w/d symptoms as bad. THAT is easier said than done. Thankfully, I know he has never felt as bad as I do sometimes. Effexor W/d or my depression is an ever present occurrence in our marriage. It cycles around periodically. I withdraw into myself a lot. I find when I feel like my husband and I are on the same page is when I trust him and tell him exactly how I'm feeling. It is hard sometimes. It is not easy for either of you. But right now you need to not throw in the towel on getting off of Effexor, or on your husband. I would be very open with your husband about your anxiety of losing your job, losing your house, etc. Even if it is unrealistic, your thoughts are scaring you. Talking or journaling (if you can't talk with your husband about everything) will help. I would encourage you to ask Alostrata directly if you should increase your dose until you feel more in control, less anxious, and get some better sleep. The lack of sleep is detrimental to you feeling better or making progress. BTW, I owe you a thank you. I think I have been going through some w/d with a weekly drop of my dose, even though it is so very small (1 bead/week). It happened without me putting the dots together that that is what could be happening. I'm having a lot of symptoms. The only thing to do for now is to stop where I am and see if I start feeling better. If I don't, the next step is to bump back up a few mg. That is NOT what I want to do, but hurrying to get off is pointless if I am truly having w/d symptoms. This is definitely a long, slow journey. I think you should be able to work while getting off of your Effexor. I think if the w/d becomes so much worse that you cannot go to work you should definitely increase your dose to the point that you can function and work. I don't think you will suddenly become incapacitated with w/d symptoms that increasing your dose wouldn't fix. I believe you would just have to unfortunately return to a higher dose than you are on and taper much, much slower. It is so tedious. I've been tapering for 3 years, but I'm finally much closer to being off and the majority of the time I have been w/d free (I think! 🤔) I started at 188mg and am at 11mg. You will certainly not have to go to 188mg to be free of your current w/d symptoms. If you and your husband can just put your taper in the background once you feel better, that might help both of you. You are feeling a lot of pressure right now, some self-inflicted and some from your husband. Unfortunately you cannot will-away the w/d. It is a beast, but one I think we can conquer. ❤️

[getofflex]

23 hours ago, Yersinia said:

I am wondering about my reinstatement. My sleep has improved but the anxiety is so bad. Should I keep plugging away at 3mg? 

Yes, I would suggest staying at 3 mg.  It can take a while (several weeks to a couple months) for a reinstatement to fully settle and work.  It sounds like you had a bad day with anxiety, but then felt calmer the next day.  You sleep sounds not bad for someone in WD.  It sounds like your hormones were affecting you that day.  Hormones affect WD as well.  I know I've been in menopause as well as WD.  Remember it is normal to have ups and downs, especially around the monthly cycle, and when there are extra stress factors, like your husband getting frustrated with your WD.  I'm sorry to hear that.  Would it help to have him read some info on here, or watch some of the videos on WD?  

[Yersinia]

He's been staying away from SA - I offered to show him the success stories last night but he declined.  He's slowly coming around on SA though - Initially he was furious that I was seriously considering taking medical advice from "someone on the internet" but my psychotherapist confirmed that SA is one of the best WD sites so my husband backed off.  And he's seen that I'm getting more sleep and have been less anxious since reinstatement.  He's sad that our life will be different for the foreseeable future as I stabilize and ultimately taper off.  I can't blame him, so am I.  Thanks @getofflex - I will stay the course with 3mg. 

[Yersinia]

14 hours ago, 92sharks said:

I've been tapering for 3 years, but I'm finally much closer to being off and the majority of the time I have been w/d free (I think! 🤔) I started at 188mg and am at 11mg.

Wow - that's a nice slow taper!  Will you switch to liquid for the "end-game"?

[getofflex]

12 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

And he's seen that I'm getting more sleep and have been less anxious since reinstatement.

It sounds as though the reinstatement is working, which is great.  

 

12 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

He's sad that our life will be different for the foreseeable future as I stabilize and ultimately taper off.  I can't blame him, so am I.

It's perfectly normal and healthy to grieve any type of loss, not just the death of a loved one.  It's good that you are both in touch with each other's feelings. 

[Yersinia]

I think I was in a window yesterday morning and it closed in the afternoon. After work, I tried to nap but couldn’t because of racing thoughts and heartbeat. I can’t stop thinking about how long and hard recovery is going to be. I’m not practicing much acceptance here. I am struggling, wishing I’d never taken that “medicine”. There’s no stability - no firm ground. How do people get through this?? 

[Greatful]

@Yersinia  There must be something in the air, so many members are struggling right now.  I can't get my head in the game either.

Doom and glum ruminating around in my brain.

 

I am angry at the doctors for not knowing enough about these drugs and the effect they have on our bodies and minds.  The terror and pain they inflict on us when they don't know how to safely dose the drugs, what are  adverse effects and how to get off of them.   I have  said it before and I will say it again.   The doctors  that want to proscribe  these drugs as part of the training should have to take a physic drug for at least two months(shouldn't hurt them, they hand them out like candy for anything under the sun) then have them stop taking it.

 

All we can do is try and not get caught up in the obsessing and get through today.

Our window is right around the corner and it is going to be a bright as the sun😊

Today is a good day , repeat, today is a good day  repeat,  today is a good day

[getofflex]

2 hours ago, Yersinia said:

I can’t stop thinking about how long and hard recovery is going to be

 

3 hours ago, Yersinia said:

How do people get through this?? 

 

It is very easy to do this, and understandable.  It's not fair that we have to go through all this difficulty, because some doctor was ignorant and hurt us out of his lack of knowledge.  It's definitely unjust and unfair.  

 

However, thinking about this will compound your difficulty and make it significantly worse.  Here are some ideas to help:  

 

1) take things One Day at a Time.  The past is gone, and the future is not here yet.  Perhaps your recovery won't be as hard as you think.  It is different for everyone.  All you need is the strength to get through this moment.  

 

2) Distract yourself.  When I felt bad in early recovery, I would do things with my hands that didn't require thinking - house cleaning, gardening, gentle walking, knitting, sewing, do an adult coloring book, any simple craft.  Try to keep your mind focused on the task before you.  

 

3) remember people who have terminal illnesses, people who are quadriplegics and will never recover, people who are bedridden, etc.  Try and be thankful that at least this condition has a light at the end of the tunnel, and we do recover in time.  

 

4) I personally believe that pain and suffering has a much deeper purpose and meaning.  God can use it for good in a mysterious way.  The Bible talks about this a lot.  Pain gives us a deep and abiding inner strength that will serve us and others well for the rest of our lives.  For example, you will have empathy and understanding of other people who are going through the same thing, and perhaps be able to help them.  

[Yersinia]

Thanks @getofflex - your suggestions are really helpful.  I'm trying to reconnect with my Higher Power from many years ago.  I'm ashamed to say that I'm out of practice.  

 

I'll be off SA for a week - my psychotherapist says that it's not helping my anxiety and he's right.  I keep reading threads from people in protracted WD and assuming that that's going to me.  I'll check in in a week (unless things really go south and then I'll be back on).  Thanks for all your help!!

[getofflex]

22 minutes ago, Yersinia said:

I'll be off SA for a week - my psychotherapist says that it's not helping my anxiety and he's right.  I keep reading threads from people in protracted WD and assuming that that's going to me.

This sounds like a good plan.  Perhaps you can just read your own thread when you get responses, and avoid other threads for a while.  

[92sharks]

@YersiniaI went looking on SA for people who have recovered. It was sort of a mistake because of the one I read. But I tell myself, everyone's recovery is different. I am shocked at the withdrawal symptoms I am experiencing on such a low dose and extremely slow taper. But I'm so glad I'm at 10mg and not a higher dose. I still believe I can get off, it's just going to take longer and maybe fraught with w/d symptoms if I go too quickly. I thought I was nuts for going so slow. At this low dose, I'm apparently not going slow enough. It is very difficult to feel this way and put it in the background of life as I have suggested. I will give these symptoms a week to see if they subside, then decide what to do. I ran across a link in a post I was reading of someone who has been off of Effexor. His post initially was very tough to read and I don't think I would suggest that you read it right now. What I found on his post, though was a link to a letter someone wrote to themselves about anxiety. I have only read a portion of it, but the part I have read so far sounds promising. Idk if you would find it helpful. http://nothingworks.weebly.com Just remember that the symptoms you are feeling are real. Some symptoms are physical and others emotional and psychological. But they originate from a physical or chemical restructuring of your brain, courtesy of Effexor, and your brain trying to function without the continued support of that drug. Astounding to believe. So very sad. But we're where we are. You need support. I know you're looking for hope and some good news about how long this will take and if there is anything you can do to make it easier. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. Try acupuncture. Stay hydrated. Eat healthy. Low impact exercise (walking). Speak up to whomever for what you can and cannot do right now. I will not be forever. None of these are easy. There have been MANY times these things are too hard for me. I have to work at one of these, push myself to accomplish one every day. I just try to get a good average of these things per week. Support your body and brain as much as you can. In a month, look back and see where you were today. I bet you'll be feeling some better. Sending love and encouragement to take care of yourself. ❤️