Yersinia: 150 mg Effexor XR for ~16 years

[92sharks]

@YersiniaI don't know how to do the liquid. I've read a little bit. I didn't think it would be necessary for me. But today....🤷🏼‍♀️. I'm going to continue to taper the little beads, but since I'm having vertigo since my last taper, I may have to start weighing the beads or research the liquid. 🙁

[Yersinia]

@92sharks Thanks for your kind message.  I really appreciate it.  I'm sorry to hear about your vertigo.  Dropping from 11mg to 10mg is nearly a 10% drop by weight, if I understand the math correctly.  It may be time to start weighing or to do liquid.  Maybe ask one of the mods?

 

Sending you love and support too.  We can get off Effexor - maybe just really slowly.

[getofflex]

It should be no problem for @92sharksto taper with the beads. They’re small and easy to count.

[Yersinia]

I'm back from my nearly one-week hiatus.  Honesty, I have been looking at SA for the last few days despite my therapist's saying I wasn't allowed to.  I can't stop feeding my anxiety - I know I should distract but I'm so bad at redirecting my thoughts.  I'm trying to get a meditation practice up and running but it seems overwhelming.   When I sit on the cushion, my brain is constantly bringing up thoughts  - it's so discouraging.  

 

Next week, I'll be a workshop for work that I'm really nervous about.  I have to drive six hours on Sunday and then spend five days at an intensive workshop with people I don't know and then drive back.  I'm so scared something will go awry and I'll set off some kind of wave.  But I have to go - it will look very strange to my co-workers if I cancel and I'm trying to fly under the radar at work with respect to WD.   

[Greatful]

@Yersinia

 

1 hour ago, Yersinia said:

 When I sit on the cushion, my brain is constantly bringing up thoughts  - it's so discouraging.  

I like to lay down when I meditate.  I really like to lay on my bed, pull my weighted blanket over me, usually put my hands on my stomach so I can feel my stomach rise and fall.  I feel more relaxed when I lay down, for me it takes more concentration to sit up straight and hold my head up with my eyes closed.  There is no right or wrong way to meditate like mia1 said. 

 

I have a app on my phone "Meditation Music"  I like the morning rain one.  It has rain sounds and piano music mix together.  I listen to it at night, it has a timer on it, I usually set the timer for 1 hour.   They have  about 17 different sounds to pick from that are free.  They have some you can buy but I haven't bought any.  I like my rain/piano mix.  

 

Read the success stories. Hopefully they won't set you off.  

Do not look for threads that will set you off.

You could just check in and chat with other members.

I enjoy just chatting and sharing stories.

Friends without faces............

[Greatful]

@Yersinia  How are you doing?  How is your work shop going?

[Yersinia]

Hi @Greatful - thanks for asking. Yesterday was bad - I only got two hours sleep the night before (anxiety) then there was a day of lectures which ended in a computer lab. I felt very anxious most of the time - heart-pumping, etc. I’d look at the other participants and think that they all had normal lives and I’m the one who’s stuck in WD. I know that comparing myself to others is wrong. I have no idea what their lives are really like - there may even be someone else in the room in AD WD, considering the number of people tryin to get off these drugs.

 

Last night, I went for a walk and meditated before bed and managed to fall asleep pretty early. I got 7 hours sleep. So I feel better this morning. Meditation is hard but sometimes I can see that it’s working.  Just keep plugging along, I guess.
 

I hope you have a good day, my friend.

[Greatful]

@Yersinia  

2 hours ago, Yersinia said:

I’d look at the other participants and think that they all had normal lives and I’m the one who’s stuck in WD.

I can relate to this, as I am sure many of us do.  I when I am around people who know me I will think, if they knew what's all going on in my brain, the fear, crazy thoughts, how disconnected I feel from reality etc.  What would they think.  This girls crazy🤪

It is easy to feel jealous and some anger that they can come and go, laugh, and do all the things you use to do. Thank you for reminding me   " I have no idea what their lives are really like - there may even be someone else in the room in AD WD, "  or anything else, ocd. panic attacks.  It is amazing how we can think everyone else has it all together, and I am the only dysfunctional one.  We get so caught up in our thoughts and so into ourselves.  A little story..........

I was at work one day last year and it donned  on my one day that, I looked at student a thought Hey, they have a brain just like me and I bet they have some of the same thoughts,  we all have worries, feelings, etc. Sounds kind of crazy, but liberating,  we are all human and are made the same. 😁

 

2 hours ago, Yersinia said:

I went for a walk and meditated before bed and managed to fall asleep pretty early. I got 7 hours sleep. So I feel better this morning. Meditation is hard but sometimes I can see that it’s working.

You are doing great.  You are learning how to self soothe and take care of yourself.  If anything WD can help grow healthy coping skills and self love.

Meditation is a great tool.  Yes it does take practice and even if you feel like I am not doing it right, you are, just by practicing and doing it everyday.  You will slowly start seeing the benefits from it. It's a great  stepping stone for  learning mindfulness  during the day.  The thoughts will be easier to walk away from and they  will not seem so scary.

 

Be proud of yourself, you went away on this workshop and are handling it with poise and dignity.♥️

 

You have a great day my friend❤️

 

 

[Mia1]

@Yersinia I want to share some things that REALLY helped me overcome my sleep anxiety. When I would wake in the night I always checked the clock to see how much I slept. I woke up a lot so did this often. If I had something to do the next day I would start with all the mental chatter, I’m going to be so tired, how am I going to do this, etc. it really made it so much worse to be hyper focused on it.

 

Now I don’t keep a clock on my bedside table. I go to bed and set the alarm on my phone which is face down. If I have to get up to go to the bathroom or just happen to wake up I will NOT check to see what time it is. Knowing the time in the middle of the night has never helped me, in fact it usually made me more anxious. I go back to bed and focus on the sleep sounds until I fall back asleep.

 

 I never actually know how much I sleep because I wake often but I trust that it is enough to get me through my day and do everything I need to do. This took so much pressure off, I can’t even tell you. I never even talk about sleep, whether I had a “good” night or a “bad” night. By taking my focus off of sleep completely my brain finally got the message that it didn’t need to worry about it anymore. And of course because of that I no longer have sleep anxiety.

 

It really is just like a bad habit you have to break. I hope this helps you!!

[Yersinia]

Thank you so much for sharing this @Mia1 - it makes a lot of sense. Ive been tracking my insomnia to see if my reinstatement is working but I’ve found  monitoring my sleep definitely increases my anxiety around  it.  It’s been nearly a month since I reinstated and it seems like my WD symptoms are less. Maybe I should stop monitoring my sleep.
 

I really appreciate you and @Greatful so much! You are both so good at helping each other and so many others here. Thanks for everything you post on this site.

[Mia1]

10 hours ago, Yersinia said:

Maybe I should stop monitoring my sleep.

Good morning @Yersiniayes, I would definitely stop monitoring your sleep. Your body will get back to its normal state in time, there’s nothing you need to worry about. Our bodies have the ability to heal, we just have to get out of the way sometimes!!

10 hours ago, Yersinia said:

Thanks for everything you post on this site.

That’s a really nice compliment, thank you. Hope you have a great day 😊

[getofflex]

17 hours ago, Yersinia said:

it.  It’s been nearly a month since I reinstated and it seems like my WD symptoms are less. Maybe I should stop monitoring my sleep.

I’m very glad to hear that the reinstatement is working. If I were you I would stop monitoring my sleep. I often wake up before the sun comes up. If I look at my watch and see what time it is that tends to make me more anxious so I just lay in bed and listen to very soft music to help me relax and maybe go back to sleep.

[Greatful]

@Yersinia

20 hours ago, Yersinia said:

 It’s been nearly a month since I reinstated and it seems like my WD symptoms are less.

This good to hear.  You are healing YEAH!❤️

 

Thank you for the kind works.  

We are all in this together.  ☺️

[Yersinia]

@Altostrata and @getofflex - I’m wondering about the possibility of increasing my reinstatement amount.  It’s been 37 days since started taking 3mg of Effexor XR. My WD symptoms seem to be less but I still have bad anxiety. At work, tasks that would have caused me no problem before I quit Effexor make my heart race and I get panicky and can’t think straight. At night, I fall asleep pretty quickly but wake up ~3X a night with panicked thoughts that send my heart racing. 
 

Please let me know if you think an increase would be worth trying. Thank you so much for your time and attention.

[Yersinia]

@Altostrata and @getofflex (I’m sorry to tag you again so soon after my last tag). I forgot to mention in my last post that I’ve been feeling suicidal the last few weeks. I’m sorry to be so weak but I can’t face the idea of months or years of having this anxiety. If there’s a chance increasing my reinstatement amount might work (and isn’t too risky), I really want to try it. 
 

thanks again.

[Greatful]

  @Yersinia  I see your feeling about as chipper is I am😥 I feel your pain😥

Hang in there❤️

Remember all we have to do is make it through today. ❤️  

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, Yersinia said:

@Altostrata and @getofflex (I’m sorry to tag you again so soon after my last tag). I forgot to mention in my last post that I’ve been feeling suicidal the last few weeks. I’m sorry to be so weak but I can’t face the idea of months or years of having this anxiety.

What other symptoms are you having besides anxiety and suicidal thoughts?  About how many hours of sleep are you getting a night on average?  Are you able to eat OK? Are you able to function at work adequately, or is the anxiety and panic causing you to have trouble functioning adequately?  

 

I am conferring with the rest of the staff and we are determining the best course of action. 

Edited August 30, 2021 by getofflex

[Yersinia]

@getofflex I’m in bed from 10pm - 7am but I get a total of ~5-6 hours sleep a night, broken up by anxiety driven awakenings.

I am losing weight due to lack of appetite but I’m no longer vomiting (I was vomiting a lot before reinstatement).

 

At work, I get so anxious that I can’t complete tasks that were no problem for me before I quit Effexor. Eventually, in most cases, I can push through the anxiety to complete the task but it is excruciating.

 

I also should mention that I’m peri-menopausal and always had anxiety at certain points during my cycle before I quit Effexor. However, since I quit, the sleep disturbances and anxiety are always present regardless of where I am in my cycle, which makes me think it’s due to WD, not hormones.

 

42 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I am conferring with the rest of the staff and we are determining the best course of action.

 

Thank you so much.

 

[Yersinia]

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

  I see your feeling about as chipper is I am😥 I feel your pain😥

Hang in there❤️

Remember all we have to do is make it through today

yeah 😞 this sucks. I spent a lot of today trying to figure out how I could off myself without messing things up (financially) too badly for my husband and our five dogs since I’m the one who works outside of the home. 

 

hope you’re feeling better soon 💕 
 

 

[Greatful]

@Yersinia  It is freighting how much these drugs have taken over our brains..  Now that the brain is trying to get things in balance we have little of control of your thoughts and emotions are morphed, distorted, but feel so real.

 

This is most definitely a painful and scary journey we are on.😥 

My heart goes out to you❤️

 

[92sharks]

@YersiniaYou are having suicidal thoughts, even if they are bathed in humor. Please keep in contact with SA and tag the moderators again. You have a lot on your plate during "normal" times, but tacking on WD makes everything so much harder, which is an understatement. Please know you will feel better. You WILL! I think there are probably many reasons you started taking ADs in the first place many years ago. Idk your personal situation, but your sentence of you being the only one working outside your home and having 5 dogs tells me you have a LOT of responsibility. Right now, YOU are the most important thing. The #1 priority. When I started on ADs, I think a nanny, a cook, a housekeeper, and a therapist would have been the things that would have been more beneficial for me than ADs. Oh, and a voice to say what I needed! I guess the ADs and me were supposed to be the substitute to replace what was really needed. Please try to ask for help from anyone you can to lighten your responsibilities. YOU are the priority. Trust your instincts. Trust yourself. I'm guessing you are still trying to do everything you've always done while trying to deal with this heavy weight of WD symptoms. You're trying to hide them from your work environment. And trying to act as if nothing is wrong. And you feel like you're on a cliff and not sure if you can keep yourself safe. There is something very wrong and you need support. I think asking the mod for a possible increase in your dose is VERY appropriate. Please tag the moderators again. Last thing, keep trying to meditate. My meditation is absolutely ridiculous; one breath in & out, oops, I'm thinking of something else, refocus on breathing. Another breath in & out, oops, a different thought, refocus. A breathe in, oops, I didn't even get to the exhalation, refocus. It is dumb. However, to me, it is the process of trying to do it that is helping me. And it IS working. I would be the first to think if I can't concentrate on my breathing for 1 second, what benefit am I going to get out of this. I am the biggest skeptic. But I just keep doing it for 10 min, as many days as I can. I am striving for every day, but things do get in the way. But I go back to it. After maybe only 10 days, I could feel my mind able to not focus on every thought that came to mind. They were there, but a bit more in the background. I felt more in control of my thoughts. I couldn't stop the many thoughts from being there, but I paid less attention to them. It has been very empowering. And it has helped a lot with anxiety. Try 5 minutes and if you have to refocus every breath, that's ok. It's the trying, being aware that you need to refocus. Refocusing is what is healing. Silent meditation is best for me right now because if I'm focusing on a guided meditation, I figure I'm focusing on that, and not on trying to quiet thoughts. I find guided meditation helpful, too, but for a "time-out", a "checking-out" of whatever is going on at the moment. Both are beneficial, I think, but are different. Please stay in contact with SA. We'll get off of Effexor. ❤️❤️

[getofflex]

@YersiniaI'm extremely sorry to hear that your WD has brought you to this point.  I'm still waiting to hear back from the other mods before I can advise you on increasing your reinstatement dose.  I didn't want to tell you to go ahead and increase it without their input, on the chance it could make you feel worse.  Other mods are much more experienced in these things than I am, and I want you to get the best advice possible.  

 

In the meantime, here are some numbers you can call and talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts.  Please, don't do anything to harm yourself.  Your husband would be completely devastated, and so would the dogs.  Everyone around you would be devastated.  As bad as you feel now, this is only temporary.  You are probably in a bad wave at this point.  It is very discouraging when the WD doesn't seem to let up, but this will come to an end.  

 

PENNSYLVANIA Suicide & Crisis Hotlines Crisis Counselors are  waiting for your call.

There Are Few Words Which Can Comfort Suicidal Persons in Crisis...

USA National Suicide Hotlines             1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-TALK 1-800-273-8255   I'm Alive Chat Lifeline Chat     More National 800# Hotlines For Teens, Veterans, LGBTQ+, Postpartum, College Students, Native Americans, and more

 

Pennsylvania Numbers are Listed by City, County, or Service Area Use Your Browser Page "Find" (Control+F)  to Search for Your Area Code, Prefix, City, County, or Local Area

 

Adams, Cumberland, Dauphin, Franklin, & Perry Counties CONTACT Helpline 24 hrs / 7 days  Carlisle (717) 249-6226 Harrisburg (717) 652-4400  Adams, Franklin, Perry, Upper-Dauphin 1-800-932-4616   4/1/06

 

 

ALLEGHENY COUNTY re:solve Crisis Network 24 hours / 7 days 1-888-7 YOU CAN 1-888-796-8226  Updated 11/23/2016

 

 

Altoona Serving Blair County  Altoona Regional Health System Community Crisis Center - Emergency Services  To Arrange for Mental Health Services  24 hours / 7 days  (814) 889-2279 1-800-540-4690   4/1/06

 

 

Altoona CONTACT Altoona Help Line  24 hours / 7 days  (814) 946-9050   4/17/06

 

 

Beaver County  CONTACT - Beaver Valley 24-Hour Crisis Helpline & Information Service  (724) 728-3650 Ambridge Callers (724) 375-7693   4/19/06

 

 

Butler Serving Butler County  Center for Community Resources  Crisis Telephone Service 24 hours / 7 days  (724) 287-0440 1-800-292-3866   4/1/06

 

 

Camp Hill  Holy Spirit Hospital  TEENLINE 24 hours / 7 days  (717) 763-2345 1-800-722-5385   4/2/06

 

 

Centre County  Centre County Can Help  24 hours / 7 days  1-800-643-5432  Voice & TDD    4/20/06

 

 

Chester County  Chester County Mental Health Crisis Intervention Service  To Access Emergency Mental Health Services  24 hours / 7 days  (610) 918-2100 1-877-918-2100   4/22/06

 

 

Dauphin County Dauphin County Mental Health Mental Health Crisis Intervention Services  24 hours / 7 days  (717) 232-7511   4/25/06

 

 

Erie Erie Hotline Listening, Information & Referral 24 hours / 7 days  (814) 453-5656   4/2/06

 

 

Hanover Serving Hanover, Gettysburg, & York Areas  Adams-Hanover Counseling Services, Inc. Crisis Intervention & Emergency Services  24 hours / 7 days  (717) 637-7633 (717) 334-0468 1-866-325-0339   4/3/06  update pending

 

 

Lancaster County  Lancaster County Mental Health  Crisis Intervention Program  Mental Health Assessment & Services 24 hours / 7 days  (717) 394-2631   4/4/06

 

 

Lancaster County  CONTACT Lancaster Helpline  24 hours / 7 days  Helpline (717) 299-4855 Adamstown, Denver, Reamstown, Terre Hill (717) 738-0738 Hensel, Kirkwood (717) 786-5444 Teen Line / Kids Line (717) 394-2000 TTY - Deaf & Voice (717) 299-7184   4/4/06

 

 

Lebanon County  Philhaven Behavioral Healthcare Services Crisis Intervention  24 hours / 7 days  (717) 274-3363   4/25/06

 

 

Lehigh County  Lehigh County Emergency Mental Health Services  24 hours / 7 days  (610) 782-3127   4/15/06

 

 

Luzerne-Wyoming Counties Community Counseling Services of N.E.P.A.  Crisis Intervention - Emergency Mental Health Services 24 hours / 7 days  Tunkhannock (570) 836-3118 Wilkes-Barre (570) 552-6000    4/30/06

 

 

Luzerne-Wyoming Counties Northeast Counseling Services Crisis Intervention - Emergency Mental Health Services 24 hours / 7 days  Hazleton (570) 455-6385 Nanticoke (570) 735-7590   4/29/06

 

 

New Castle  Serving Lawrence County  CONTACT E.A.R.S. Helpline  24 hours / 7 days  Helpline (724) 658-5529 Teenline (724) 657-TALK (8255)    4/4/06

 

 

Norristown Montgomery County Emergency Service, Inc. Crisis Hotline  24 hours / 7 days  (610) 279-6100 1-800-452-4189   4/18/06

 

 

Northampton County  Northampton County Mental Health Crisis Intervention Services 24 hours / 7 days  (610) 252-9060 (610) 997-5840 TTY   4/2/06

 

 

PHILADELPHIA Serving Greater Philadelphia area, including Bucks, Chester, Delaware, Montgomery and Philadelphia counties   CONTACT Greater Philadelphia If you are seeking help and/or a caring listiener -  Call Contact Now ! Bucks & Philadelphia Counties (215) 355-6000  Lower Bucks County (215) 547-1889 Central Bucks County (215) 340-1998 Upper Bucks County (215) 536-0911 Chester, Delaware, Montgomery, & Philadelphia Counties (610) 649-5250 (610) 649-1368 Dont want to talk ?- click here for online help.     Updated 7/11/2012

 

 

Philadelphia Philadelphia Behavioral Health  Suicide / Crisis Intervention Hotline To Access Mental Health Services 24 hours / 7 days  (215) 686-4420   5/1/06

 

 

State College  Crisis Services for Penn State Students  24 hours / 7 days  Centre County Can Help 1-800-643-5432 CAPS: Center for Counseling & Psychological Services  (814) 863-0395  M-F, 9-5, Phone or Walk-in  Community Help Centre (formerly Wellspring)  (814) 235-1890  M-F, 9-6, Phone or Walk-in    4/20/06

 

 

Upland Serving Delaware County  Crozer-Keystone Emergency Psychiatric Crisis Service  Mental Health Evaluation & Referral 24 hours / 7 days  (610) 447-7600   4/20/06

 

 

Westmoreland County  Westmoreland County Mental Health Crisis Hotline  Access to Mental Health Services 24 hours / 7 days  1-800-836-6010 County Help Line - Information & Referral  1-800-222-8848   5/3/06

 

 

Wilkes-Barre Serving Luzerne & Wyoming Counties  Help Line of N.E.P.A. Information & Referral 24 hours / 7 days  (570) 829-1341 1-888-829-1341   4/25/06

 

 

York Wellspan Behavioral Health / York Hospitial Crisis Intervention Emergency Mental Health Services  24 hours / 7 days  (717) 851-5320 1-800-673-2496   5/1/06

 

 

What if the Hotline Phone Number for my local area is no good ??

 

Call 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433 Call 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255 Call 2-1-1 or go to 211.org/   Call numbers in your state, even if they are outside your city or county.   Some of the 800, 888, 877, 866 numbers are toll-free in the entire state.    Visit the USA National page of this site for toll free National hotlines.   Call 411 and ask for: Dial 0 and ask for: Search online for: hotlines - crisis or suicide  suicide prevention  crisis intervention  community crisis center  county mental health center  hospital mental health clinic   Or, call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger.

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Yersinia

 

Yes, you have figured out how to measure 3mg, you might want to try 4mg in Effexor XR beads, see how that affects you.

 

Suicidal thoughts are just thoughts, you can let them go. You may be experiencing waves of withdrawal symptoms still, which can bring up negative emotions, such as intense shame or hopelessness. The trick is to recognize these arise from biochemical glitches and not pay attention to them. Do not enlarge them with your fear of them. They should gradually fade over months.

 

See Neuro-emotions

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Deep emotional pain and crying spells, spontaneous weeping

 

Sudden fear, terror, panic, or anxiety from withdrawal

[92sharks]

@YersiniaThinking about you today. Sending love and support for getting through these horrible WD symptoms. There is no benefit to you in hiding what you're experiencing. Let those that care about you know you are having a very tough time at the moment. Just ask for their caring and patience while you get through this very difficult time. ❤️

[getofflex]

@Yersiniahow are you doing today?  I hope you are OK. 

[Yersinia]

Hello @92sharks @getofflex @Altostrata - thank you for your messages. I haven’t logged in because my therapist has forbid me from going on the SA forum. He thinks I have medical anxiety and I’m not in WD because the reinstatement is working. He thinks SA makes my medical anxiety worse.

 

 I won’t be on the board for a while. Im so sorry I mentioned suicide and then disappeared for a while - maybe making you think the worst. I pleaded with my therapist to let me sign back in once to let you know my plan to take a break from the forum but he said no. I decided to log in tonight anyway.
 

Thank you for caring about me. I hope to return someday a bit healthier.

[getofflex]

It’s probably a good thing that you’re limiting your time on SA If it makes you anxious.  I’m happy to hear that you’re doing all right, or at least that you’re still with us.   Medical anxiety is super common during withdrawal.  We look forward to hearing you at some point when you feel better.

[Altostrata]

Is your reinstatement of 3mg venlafaxine working? What do you mean by "working"?

[92sharks]

@YersiniaSo happy to hear from you. I think limited time on the site for support is beneficial. But you do what you think is best for you. I do appreciate that you logged in to let us know you're alright. No need to apologize for mentioning suicide. I think it is good to acknowledge those thoughts out loud. This is a safe place to do that. Please don't refrain from saying if you feel this way. So many of us have had these thoughts and for me it was just a realization of how terrible I felt at the time and how hopeless WD made me feel. It prompted me to stop waiting for the WD to go away and do something to address it. I won't encourage you to go against your therapist's advice, but I will say to trust yourself. If you find support and friendship on this sight and have your questions answered, I don't see harm in limited access. We need to get support from as many sources in our lives as we can. You need to do what is best for you. And you are the best judge of that. ❤️

[Kat66]

Hi @Yersinia just checking in to see how you're feeling?