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Heinz1903: 4 years zoloft and now clean for 6 weeks


Heinz1903

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update 26-06-2022

 

i got sick, feel flu like symptoms sometimes. Dark brown urine even when drinking, throwing up when the scary thought arrives. Temperature fluctuating, weird delusions and obsessions. Most symptoms decreased for awhile. My mom tells me there are more bright windows without this crazy experiences.

 

mental breakdown this morning. 1 crazy obsessive thoughts left, brain fog decreasing. Body has less tension.

 

Pressure in my head is less. Eye sight is worse again, PSSD returned yesterday after 1 week of not having it.

 

depression, this one is big. Mostly about “when does this hell ride end”

 

i cried more times this week than i did in the last 8 years, alot of emotions releasing after this.

 

mindfog returned after being gone for 3 weeks, breakdown happens either 1 or 2 times a day. Did not have it for 3 days until friday.

 

this crazy obsessive thought and mental pain is the latest symptoms that i can noticeably feel or see.

 

this has to be the craziest phase in my withdrawal.  


sometimes i feel totally normal and the next moment completely into the withdrawal dread. I feel completely lost then. Its not permanent anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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update 26-6-2022 6.51 pm central european timezone

 

I have seen a couple improvements for the last 2 days, but also a few very bad moments.

Everytime i experienced this “hell” i get back stronger. My anxiety is decreasing. I feel some what reborn. Maybe all the begging to god worked really well.

 

Sometimes the bad moment terrorize me alot. But slowly I’m conscious about myself again.
Instead of experiencing this autopiloted fight flight fight mode.

It feels as if i’m a building, which internally is build in a bad way. Now its interior gets rebuilt, From the shell to the inner layers.

 

The shell being sensations of the body. I reached a new level today. First the i felt the body, then the mind, then the memory, now consciousness next up is my personality returning instead of the zombie feeling.

 

I was conscious yet again. I felt all parts of myself body, mind, conscious falling into eachother and patterns i have noticed or stuff that i haven’t noticed before. Emotions hitting me even more deep, stuff that i came to notice that would made me not care for a few months ago.

 

I may be having a long way to go, but i feel i’m getting there. Its scary, the road may be long and dark. But atleast i can smile again.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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Update 27-06-2022.

 

Found out where all these fears come from, their origin fear. When looking back and thinking with rationality.

 

the fears and crazy thoughts i experience come from the fear of losing control of myself and my life. Either mentally, physically, spiritually, identity wise. I was scared of losing myself, scared of being splitted or fragmented.

 

This fear coexisted with depersonalization & Derealization.

 

now i will get brainspotting to work on it this Thursday. Can’t wait.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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Update 27-06-2022

 

not even anxiety, just total grayness. I sit here,  looking out of the window from bed. Tired no energy bad doom scenarios through my head all the time.
 

i don’t know, no energy left. What does this mean. I feel dead, dread, lost but also calm within this sort of greyness.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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I have decided that i return to the meds. I’m done 100%

 

today i’m going to a mental hospital for a intake. I will see what happens

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please carefully read Post #1 of this topic and note that SA generally suggests being cautious and starting with a small dose to see how your react.  If you take too much of a drug, whether the last drug or a new drug things might get worse:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

  And the following:

 

On 5/26/2011 at 5:42 AM, stan said:

ADMIN NOTE Going on and off drugs and taking doses inconsistently can cause nervous system destabilization and hypersensitivity. This predispose someone to kindling, an adverse reaction when increasing the dosage or taking another drug, even a drug that caused no problems before.

 

The hypersensitivity common in nervous system destabiization underlies kindling.

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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@ChessieCat 

 

i don’t even know anymore i just want this horrible feeling to end.


nothing more

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Let me preface this by saying I am not a medical professional. I know you are in pain @Heinz1903, but I wouldn’t make any big decisions whilst you are not thinking rationally. As soon as you enter the hospital, you lose control over the situation. They diagnose and treat you like they would anyone, they don’t account for your sensitised nervous system from the last year. 
 

You have made it so far through this process. Try and think about what rational you would want to do. I know it’s hard. It would be such a shame for all your hard work to be undone in a spur of the moment decision. Whatever you do, just make sure you are 100% confident in your choices. Don’t let anyone dictate what’s right and wrong for you. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021; Failed taper attempt (50 -> 49) - Jan 2024; Second attempt to start taper - 17 Feb 2024

Current dose: 48.9mg (Feb 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg  - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Heinz1903 said:

@ChessieCat 

 

i don’t even know anymore i just want this horrible feeling to end.


nothing more

 

 

Please be careful.  When we become desperate we can panic and make bad decisions.  I have seen that happen to SA members.

 

If any drug/s is suggested please do your own research BEFORE taking it about possible side effects, find out how you would get off it if you wanted to do that later on, and if more than one drug, do a drug interaction check.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Erimus made some very good points.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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I’m really sorry to read that you are going through this, @Heinz1903. Your symptoms are awful, many of us can relate to them for sure.

 

I just want to say that you have been given some really solid advice from the mods and members here, and I wonder if you have tried these yet?

 

It seems that you are still doing a lot of high intensity workouts, and are consuming a lot of sugar (I would so love to eat my body weight I cookie dough ice cream too!!)… but these aren’t really helping yourself at the moment. Both of them can have a significant effect at stimulating your nervous system and can cause symptoms to someone in withdrawal. Trust me- I know how frustrating it is to not do work outs as I also used to love the gym and weightlifting. I have just had to accept that this is not going to help me right now. I’d rather stay away from these things for a while if it helps me heal even just that little bit faster. 
 

As others have also said, I can understand your frustration and that you hope that going back on drugs will fix your situation. Just remember that this isn’t a guarantee and you do not have to take/do any of the suggestions you might be given from the rehab facility without doing your own research first.

Drug history:

zoloft 2015-May 2021 max dose 200mg (3 month fast taper)

lexapro 5mg August 2021-September 2021 (adverse reaction, CT)

amitriptyline and tempazepam- September 2021 (1 week because of severe insomnia. Did not help. CT)

2018-September 2021 Intermittent use of benzodiazepines (mainly oxazepam, do not know exact dates approx 1-2 per week, although many months without any in between)

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@Healingcontinues

 

The worst experience of all is the DP and DR, dissociation. combine this with crazy delusions and fears. it's pure poison.

 

Everything else is gone.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Why don’t you wait a week, and if you still feel like this you can make a choice then. It’s never wise to make important decisions in the heat of the moment. Is there anyone you can talk with who may provide a rational viewpoint? 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021; Failed taper attempt (50 -> 49) - Jan 2024; Second attempt to start taper - 17 Feb 2024

Current dose: 48.9mg (Feb 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg  - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil

Link to comment

Update 27-6-2022

 

I got a sinus sensation, the pressure inside my head is half gone. But i now get a burning sensation in my head, near my eyes as if put in peppers in my sinus and lungs and brain. I also got weird itching skin. now really tired.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Heinz1903

I am so sorry you are feeling so desperate.  I go through these thoughts and panics too.   If you can just go back and read the last few days, you report having seen some growth in your healing, positivity.  I know how hard it is to go up and down during this whole process.  Crazy how you can go from feeling positive and encouraged, yea I think I can do this...Then you slide back into feeling depleted and hopeless again.   I am trying to take my therapist advice, instead of asking myself why this or that, ask yourself what can I do today.  Can I take a shower, make breakfast, go sit outside, go for a slow walk, take a drive.  It is surprising when you put the control into your hands what you can do.  It might be something small but you can feel good about trying and doing it.

 

I do feel for you, this is horrible to go through, somehow you have to realize only you can make the decision to   dig deep and fight on or you have had enough.  Ask yourself can I go another day, somehow you can, you have been doing it for the last year, so much healing has gone on in that year, it may not feel like it your body and brain are slowly healing every second of everyday.  It  may hard to get through some days  but you do make it to your pillow every night and that means 1 day closer to turning that corner.   

 

Read so success stories.  Sometimes they can give you a little bit of encouragement that it does get better.  So many felt the same way, I am stuck like this, and so on, but somehow stayed the course and they turned the corner and slowly healed from this.  You can too.  We all can😊

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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@Greatful

Honestly it's effecting my life in alot of ways, i'm no different than most of you. Its not nice to ask other for constant help that experience the same.

 

I'm going to pull through. but i feel not the strongest at this moment. I may feel stronger than before, but i actually feel sick at this point. Because of the stress and weird feelings. I like how the withdrawal acts like mental illnesses, its confusing. hahaha

 

I may be almost there according to a few people. atleast my symptoms are improving which means i'm healing faster than expected. even if it's a painful symptoms atleast the brainfog is lifting and the DP somewhat. now the crazy thought that still haunt me.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Heinz1903  I am glad that you are going to hang there🌞  We are here to help each other out.  Have you tried to reach out to new members?

Some  come on here with so much panic, fear scared because that don't know what's going on with them.

It might help you find a purpose to help you fight on.  Sometimes it is helps you to by letting you write out coping a helpful encouragement to others and  it can reinforce coping for you.  Does that even make any sense LOL  

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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@Greatful

 

at this moment i’m questioning if i’m really in withdrawal or i’m insane.

 

maybe i could that but not in this phase

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

@Greatful 

 

you know what is so weird in this phase.

 

it is as if i am reexperiencing the worst experiences i had on withdrawal but the only differences is that i now fully experience it without brainfog and depersonalization. Its feels like a recording but playing backwards but with 2.0x the speed.

 

this is exactly how i feel.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

@Greatful

 

May i ask?

 

Is my brain permanently altered from it’s original state?

 

or does it return to normal.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Heinz1903  I am going to go out on a limb here, I am only hypothesizing.  one way to look at it.... I think your WD symptoms have  pretty much been there all the time. When your brain was still foggy from the drugs you were experiencing symptoms but now your brain is clearing out and the symptoms are still there.   Also you will have symptoms that come and go.  Hopefully if they are intense the  will not stick around as long.

I notice as time goes by and I have  swinging symptoms they come but not quite as harsh and they swing out faster.  That's not to say they by any means feel good, in fact if you are like me you are sure this time they are here to stay.  I am going to feel awful forever.  Somehow the little small window that you just had is now a distant memory shoved way  in the back of  your brain.

 

Let's bank on the testimony from others that have walked this path before us claim....As the healing goes on your waves will be less and less harsh, your windows will become longer and longer.

It sure will be nice when we can stop holding our breath waiting for when the next wave will come.  On day we will be so involved in what' s going on around us we won't even think about it, it might cross your mind at some point and all you will think is  'wow" I forgot to worry about it.  

 

Is my brain permanently altered from it’s original state?

You and most everyone going through this  has this haunting  question.  yep the drugs did alter the state of our brains and bodies, but read the success stories, what do they tell you.

All we can do it focus on today and get through it.  Can you reframe your thinking and feel some comfort in that fact that today is all any one of us has, yesterday is over and tomorrow isn't here yet. 

 

You know you got this, and when the going gets rough reach out and try to trust someone else, not your brain.  Am I going to trust my brain and all it's distorted thoughts or should I believe my husband (or just about anyone else LOL).  Believe me it is not easy to do.  Our thoughts feel  real.  But remember just because we feel something it doesn't mean it's true.  Wow what a hard pill to swallow.  But test it.....  when my thinking is  distraught and negative I feel  awful fearful, but if I can tell myself "I am okay at right now" or better yet, "I am safe", the feeling in my body and brain changes to a sense of calm. Not to say it doesn't change back to awful and panic quickly  but that's the point keep telling yourself positive affirmations.  That being said even in a horrible wave it is hard to do this and actually feel the benefit from it.  Just keep doing it anyway..

Retrain your brain 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

Update 29-06-2022

 

Withdrawal symptoms are better than before, become more stabilized. Days have been nice lately. 50/50, 50% good days 50% bad days. Bad days right now feels like heaven 4 weeks ago.

 

sadly i experience strange doom scenario’s  about myself, mind and body and identity.

crazy thoughts that pop up, as if i get confronted with my worst fears.

 

the more i feel the more i experience these intruisive thoughts. I have some Skin issue on my back, someone needs to squeeze these things out of my skin because it will become pimples.

But nowadays i can’t take the squeezing anymore, it just hurts. The longer i’m off meds the more painful it gets.

 

also first time i recognized  my hands fully on my face when i touched them on my face.

 

also strange thought that should not have been bothering before i was on these meds or before.

fear is decreasing, i have less symptoms as before..  i also have headaches constant, like pressure, burning sensations and other weird popping feelings in my brain. Like as if your nose clearances from infection or a cold. That popping feeling but part of my brain. Followed by pressure.

 

i hope that soon i can feel myself whole again. I slowly do actually, but its not without pain. I hope i will not have this fight anymore soon.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Update 29-06-2022

Long story short

much more conscious, feel much more.

OCD thoughts about intruisive thoughts and symptoms. Feel them harder.

causing even more anxiety, depersonalization is less but when i have it i just lay down and sleep.

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Heath

What, you can sleep during the day?  I use to wish I could just sleep the days away.  Once and awhile I can doze.

 

Hang in there🙃

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

@Greatful


if you sant advice for sleeping what i do to get into sleep of a nap.

 

i can sleep any where and whenever i wan’t too(public transport, chairs , garden, cold & hot weather, class, car & i love sleeping on planes, church, bathroom. , this is something i had before taking ssri’s and on ssri’s. I have a special way of falling a sleep. Try to breath short and slow. Focus on the blackness inside your mind. Most likely i pass out within 5 min. You know when you hit the sweet spot if thoughts race in your mind just ignore and focus only only on the blackness. Best is to do out with windows open or some repeating sound in your home(wind,whitenoise,washing machine, PC sound or radio in background on low volume) also try to drink tea or eat alot before sleep(mostly dairy or salad anything without alot of carbs) this works for me even when experiencing bluelight from phones, when i experience heavy withdrawal symptoms i go take a 1 till 4 hour nap with this technique. Perfect for me because meditation is a no go, meditation makes my mind even more active after it is also active.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Update 2 july 2022

 

first long car drive in months to family. 6 hours in car today. Alot of sleeping

 

did have brainspotting Thursday, immediate reaction. Throwing up 11 times. 

 

Sensations i experienced:

 

-alot of brainzaps

-brainpain like a knife stabbing in certain areas but everytime another part of the brain

-crawling in my skull

-crazy thoughts

-DP & DR

-Alot of anxiety in my body

-pain in my ears

-hangover bad trip feeling

-sleepy

-threw up 4 times today

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Heinz1903

Congrats on the going on the little trip.  I know how hard it is to do things when you are not feeling well.

Be proud of yourself.

 

boy, I have most of those symptoms and I don't do brainspotting.  What is that anyway?

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

@Greatful

 

also the identity issues is hard thing for me. Hard to few truly myself or even myself. Scared of losing myself. This is also one of the issues is focus on with brainspotting. there have been previous members that did brainspotting.

 

but brainspotting is a technique to fix unhealthy patterns in the brain, like EMDR mild for weird symptoms or issues.

 

it did help a few times, but i did it 2 days ago and it may worsen the fears and the DP for few days. May even be worse for a week. But when it ever passes it decreases slowly..

 

i may not see improvements myself but my mom sees them. Like the way i look is more healthy.

 

For me the first time was such a improvement. It is even recommended for withdrawaling of ssri.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Update 3 juli 2022

 

extreme hypersomnia, i slept alot over the last 2 days. But last 2 weeks i slept more than normal i think max 6 hours more on a day..

 

I slept over the day 6 hours, in car drive. Followed by sleeping from 8:30 pm till 9:45 am. Yesterday i slept till 11 am.

 

the pressure in my head stopped, but yesterday it was still full blown. Almost as if a knife was pinching my brain all over in different areas. I feel burns on certain places too.

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

I haven’t had morning cortisol spikes for over 2 weeks. Also out of a sudden i have extreme hunger. Especially got sugary stuff.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Update 3 juli 2022 2pm.

 

no issues with gym anymore, i can workout again. Libido also returned.

 

stil being haunted by these strange thoughts, triggered by the brainspotting and yesterday evening.

 

Still wanting to sleep often.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Update 11 juli 2022

 

had a few good weeks without any killing symptoms, today i have gotten a few. I start drinking chamomile tea, and it may have increased the unwanted effects. Muscle twitches are back, weird thoughts haunt me again.

 

Reliving what i have experienced over the last 3 months. Not on such a high level. But i still feel haunted by it.

 

it may be a good idea to stop with the GABA(chamomile tea) since it increases the symptoms as a whole. Weird think is muscle twitches.

 

i’m convinced i’m in a wave again, like muscle twitches where gone for a few weeks.

 

Yes, this is a wave.  Especially with the increasing weird thoughts and doomscenarios. DP & DR have decreased again which is great.

 

muscle twitches are annoying, they are not twitches but more like spasms.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

update 17-7-2022

 

@Greatful

I see a pattern of being affected by moon cycles. Not on a spiritual sense but in a physical sense. This makes sense because i'm basically hyper sensitive. 

Wondering if someone else has this. 

 

In the form of hormone fluctuations, increased mental symptoms, Strange believes & weird thoughts, Obessive & paranoid. Increased sex drive

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Heinz1903

I tell you, I am starting to think anything is possible LOL  All joking around, it seems the moon does play apart with our being.  i.e more babies being born on a full moon, people are crazier on a full moon, hey that's us LOL

 

How are you doing over all.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment

@Greatful

 

13-07-2022

 

not that great, alot of mental unclarity.

but if a fuzz about symptom’s. Also strange perceptions.. strange anxiety is haunting me again. Fear of going insane.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

@Greatful

 

I am convinced it’s the full moon, right now. It’s going to be a super moon today. 
 

within woman it makes them to have more sexual active And men become clinically insane.

 

I dislike superstitions, it may could have effect on people or it may not. 
 

But i can contribute to my sleep being affected. But it has heen a fullmoon for 2 days and only felt like this for 2 days. 
 

this happened the same in 14 june, before on 16 of may. 
 

i remember i was driving at night, full moon. I just felt off.

 

its just yesterday that i looked it up, and its believed related to the moon.

 

because it alters the pressure or something, this had effects on ones hormone’s 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

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