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Heinz1903: 4 years zoloft and now clean for 6 weeks


Heinz1903

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14-07-2022

 

when does this hell ******* end.

it’s a mental torture, it feels as if i’m dead already before i actually died.

 

this withdrawal sucks the live out off me.

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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16-07-2022

 

 

withdrawal has been terrible again, i feel more than before which makes it so much harder than before. Everytime its a bigger level than before.

 

from distrusting what i saw till distrusting reality. Have noticed a few of these symptoms have 2 causes. Medically.

 

the emotional issues, like suicidal ideation. Depression, feeling drowsy and drained or sleepy all the time and PSSD This is related to “low serotonine” in my brain. Causing me to become completely apathy like or nihilistic or scary thoughts like hurting someone else or hurting myself.

 

the depersonalization:  is caused by old trauma(not heavy stuff), ehh and by emotional issues. Or over stimulation and malfunctioning processing in my brain

 

 causing me to fear of feeling myself,  scared of losing myself.

 

The Derealization: is caused by only the malfunctioning processes in my brain. Nothing more or less.

 

this causes delusions and extreme paranoia about reality, and existence.

 

Fears include:

Me falling out of reality.

feeling reality as fake.

thinking reality is all in my head.

scared of hallucinations(like starting to see monsters or giant brain created delusions, this never happend)

Fear of blackholes or sun destroying earth.

distrusting reality.

distrusting that i’m actually within a withdrawal.


on the plus side, first time within years that i feel “normal” sometimes. Like as if i never had withdrawal. In a special way in some sort of morning dawn. Sun is coming up the only thing i can see is the orange sky coming up but no sun. Hopefully the dark night has passed. My mom sees improvement alot.

 

I still experiencing the horrible symptoms, not even going to fight them anymore. I am in a flow state 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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@Erimus 

 

Hey erimus, i saw you liking my update.

 

i have tried message you a few months back. Have you seen it?

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • Moderator

Sorry I never got back to you @Heinz1903. I’ve been struggling with withdrawal so haven’t been able to do much. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021; Failed taper attempt (50 -> 49) - Jan 2024; Second attempt to start taper - 17 Feb 2024

Current dose: 48.9mg (Feb 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg  - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil

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@Erimus

 

what kind of symptoms do you experience?

because i do suffer too alot lately. Maybe we can help each other out.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • Moderator

I’ve been struggling with Akathisia-like symptoms @Heinz1903. I feel it in my arms and chest, an intense restlessness. I can walk for miles on an evening and it doesn’t relent. It’s my worst symptom. 
 

I just hope we both heal.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021; Failed taper attempt (50 -> 49) - Jan 2024; Second attempt to start taper - 17 Feb 2024

Current dose: 48.9mg (Feb 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg  - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil

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@Erimus

 

How long have you been off meds.

because i experienced this around months 1 till 6, it fades quickly more often than not.

 

what i have been struggling with are mental symptoms and paranoia.

 

it’s either related to myself or to reality. 
i get constant negative thoughts with anxiety fueled concepts.

 

The depersonalization has been fading, but what i find the worst emotion of them all is the fear of going insane.

 

i get the constant thoughts of “maybe i am in a bad dream” or “maybe what i’m seeing is not real and I’m hallucinating”

 

then i also get the thoughts about going to hallucinate. Like that my personal reality is breaking and going insane.

 

this is only recent development, it’s a old symptom returning and i just take distance from it. 
 

which is think is smart. 
 

Since i think this is related of me feeling more than ever before. It’s just straight up anoying. 
 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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Update 22 juli 2022

 

alot of mental symptoms after a few incidents. One with a fellow member on the Forum, others a fight with family.


symptoms:

 

altered way of thinking and thoughts , just weird feeling about it. Bit chaotic and strange intruisive thoughts.

 

can’t distances thoughts from thinking.

 

racing thoughts, can’t make sense of it all. Cognitive not that strong just chaos in my mind.

 

Intruisive thoughts, about hurting family after the fight.

 

Doom scenarios,

weird doom aan gloom scenarios, about going insane.


depersonalisation and Derealization,

just very distant from myself and my thinking/thoughts , thats how it feels like. It’s very annoying.


does any one have advise how to deal with this? I need it real bad.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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If this **** is not over within 2 months i will consider using ketamine.

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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Update 27 july 2022 @Greatful

 

hey greatf do you mind if i ask you for about my newer symptoms?

 

weird heavy wave, these weird feelings started monday. I couldn’t understand it except that i felt bad and anxious. Scared to lose my opinion on the world.

 

Constant anxious scenarios. Weird delusions and intruisive thoughts. Even when knowing i had 5 very good days, it still felt like i was experiencing this for ever.

 

i have different symptoms in a wave.

For example no headpressure, relaxed moments, rationality. Which i have for the last 6 days almost.

 

Symptoms of this wave include:

chest pain, jaw pain, minor delusions, irrational actions, no headpressure, constant anxiety, very low libido, issues with constipation, severe muscle twitches and sometimes even pain, headache.

 

this is unpleasant, atleast the headpressure that i had for 2 months is gone for a few days.

 

any advice?

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • Mentor

Hi @Heinz1903,  You can ask me anything you want.  LOL  All I can say is that these crazy symptoms just keep coming and changing.  

It is pretty common to have these swings and thoughts.  When you are in a window you can't remember how awful you felt and then in a wave you can't remember how good you felt.   Somehow it comes down to accepting yourself at that  moment.  Practice coping skills and self care. 

I bet if you stop and look back even with your symptoms you are getting  better.  Sure you still have symptoms but ask yourself if they are as intense or deep as they were months ago.  They just seem to hang around  don't they.:blink:

One day they will all be gone and a distant memory, we have to find patience and hope.🌞

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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@Greatful 

 

Yes the symptoms always keep changing it’s real annoying.

 

from scary thought yesterday too cortisol spikes and waking up disoriented.

 

i wish it would’ve been different, i just hope there is no permanent damage.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

6-8-2022

 

Some though days with alot of fear in my mind. reason this wave was triggered was drinking 0.5% alcohol beer. even such amounts are impossible

 

with the help of google i found out my fears have names... Labels. i hate them but this helped me.

The cause of these fears are of course the terrible effects of stopping with SSRI drugs.

 

*Dementophobia is a type of phobia that involves the fear of madness or insanity. People who have this fear are afraid that they are going insane or losing touch with reality. The fear may be triggered by a family history of mental illness or periods of severe stress. ** Many people suffer with this, and it's a treatable condition known as phrenophobia. Phrenophobia is when you have anxiety about getting anxiety, for fear of “going crazy.” It's the fear that you'll loose control of yourself and never be the same again. Phrenophobia is a difficult headspace to be in. **

 

This is also related to DP & DR, GAD. from 52 symptoms now 8. Pressure in my head is less. sometimes 5 till 7 hours a day zero symptoms.

 

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Flu triggerd extreme anxiety and depersonalization and Derealization wave.

 

it’s ******* terrible.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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hi @Heinz1903, i've got ALL of your symptoms and I'm 8.5 months out of a bad adverse reaction (tried reinstating during withdrawal). we're both like the same age so maybe our healing will be similar. hope you start turning the corner soon :)

2016: started sertraline 25mg - upped dose to 75mg and tapered down to 25mg.

2017: June - skipped doses to taper sertraline 25mg. December - reinstated sertraline 25mg

2018: October - skipped doses to taper sertraline 25mg. 

2019: January - reinstated sertraline 25mg because of dp/dr symptoms

2020: October - basically CTd sertraline 25mg. enter protracted withdrawal.

2021: Dec 9th - ADR to sertraline reinstatement at 25mg. Dec 10th - Zopiclone 2.5 mg. Dec 11th - zopiclone 5 mg. Dec 17th(?) - sertraline 25mg.

Dec 24th - sertraline 25mg. Dec 25th - sertraline 25mg.

December/January: was double dosing b12 1000mcg at some point :$

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  • 2 weeks later...

@weemie

 

Yes, everyone has it 😛

 

but what i want to tell you there is some light after the tunnel.

 

everytime when i experienced a very bad wave, it feels as if my consciousness becomes 3 times bigger.

 

I felt so cold for the last 3 months, i became a bitter person. I have been off them for 1 year.

 

the terror i have experienced is next lvl, but i hope next year around this time i would become a person like i was before.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • 1 month later...

Hello people that read this, i’m in so much mental terror right now.

 

i keep having extreme neuro-emotions, depersonalization and the worst scenarios planning out in my head.

 

i don’t know what to do anymore, it feels as if its better for me to get back on drugs. I’m totally destroyed. The fight has endured 1 year, but the latest symptom is not improving one little bit. Which is depersonalization and neuro-emotions. With all these weird scenarios playing over and over and over again.

 

only problem is, i don’t know the risk of getting back on meds. I also don’t want any side effect. I have promised myself if i have one side effect, i’m going to drink myself into como. Then all hope is lost.

 

my life is shambles, my fears are the wordt it had been ever before. This wave is already going on since 2 weeks ago. Extreme fears that just repeat over and over again.

 

i lost the fight against the drug, maybe even live. I’m 21 years old, of the 8 years on medication. Only 4-5 i would say are “okay”, i have no other choice than getting back and i am killed. I will be another statistic. Like i already was.

 

I hate this world with whole my being, there is no way out of this mess. A mess that i did not choose to begin with. It was forced upon me.

 

too all the doctors that read this, you have blood on your hands for even considering prescribing these drugs to underage kids. Sick bastards!

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Are you experiencing extra stress at the moment?  I found when I was sick with the flu recently that I had looping thoughts for about 2 weeks.  It was so bad that I wanted to scream (and felt that it might help a bit) but I couldn't because of my voice being affected by the flu.  Thankfully I had a member who was supporting me via PM.

 

I posted something to another member earlier so will post the relevant questions/info here for you too:

 

I think it would be a good idea to assess what is going on in your life that might be contributing/worsening your symptoms.

 

  1. What drug/s and/or supplements are you currently taking?
  2. Do you drink alcohol?
  3. Do you drink a lot of caffeine?  Coffee, energy drinks, soft drinks which contain caffeine, eg Mountain Dew, Coke, and there might be a couple of others.
  4. Do you have a lot of stress in your life, or experienced any major life stressors recently?
  5. Have you been sick?
  6. Have you taken any antibiotics, if yes, what?
  7. How is your sleep?

It could be that if you take care of yourself in whatever areas need it that you won't need to go back on/increase a psychiatric drug.  You might find that something that you are taking is causing issues and you haven't made the connection.

 

You might also consider finding a supportive counsellor and learn and use non drug coping techniques and general life coping skills.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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@ChessieCat

 

Yes, i had a flu last weekend and the week after i got a drivers exam. Which was very very stressful and today i am on vacation with a 12 hour drive.

 

i actually got 2 flu’s one very mild salmonella infection, with a bad cold.

 

i haven’t slept that good but i don’t take drugs or supplements at this moment.

 

Also fears of going insane or becoming psychotic. Which got triggered by someone making a bad joke.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

I'm now in some weird mental state, after having 4 days all over the place. I had very weird thoughts, believes about myself. This actually started on thursday. when i was having a panic attack by just looking at my room. I could almost feel the chemical changes.

Symptoms i had since:

 

Thursday, i felt normal, until late in the evening. 11 o'clock. I got scared out of a sudden, thought that i might got a psychosis which was not the case.

 

Friday, i got my drivers license. But this gave me extreme stress. When the evening hits i got more and more in this strange pattern of anxiety,  brutal loops of fears. at night when i was going on a trip to italy i start to have more panic attacks, the whole night i slept. Got 24/7 panic attacks

 

Saturday, i arrived around 12. the panic attack was still going on. constant fight flight mode. I could not even fix these fears with my psychologist and therapy's tips given. I was crying almost every day while being in a very nice area with nice weather.

 

Sunday, still the same. Weird obsessions and over analysing everything if feld or thought. Then this got much worse until now.

 

Monday, was a somewhat great day. but it was still a brutal loop in my head. Thoughts that i was depressed my whole life, now finally digging out of the hole i got myself into. The feeling of me being on the brink of fixing my life. With the delusion i had a psychosis when going off meds. (this is the same thing i had after my surgery in 2020, before getting of medications after 1 year of severe side effects. Can't make anything of it, but i had this before but mostly in withdrawal. but always about withdrawal, Depression or psychosis. but this occured even on the medication. )

 

Tuesday, Same stuff but only over analysing everything. until getting back home where i felt i was blessed or something. Like was cured from all. now feeling very relaxed even while stressing about my emotions.

 

Symptoms of this state of being:

 

-Brutal loops of very painful thought and scary thoughts

-Severe anxiety

-Brainfog

-selfharm

-Panic attacks

-feeling a bit off

-Obsessed about my "condition"

-hypochondriac(related to the above)

-DP & DR

 

Followed by:

 

-Thinking i had severe mental health issues.

-Thinking of being cured of all my problems(blessed which coexist with a relaxed feeling)

-Often feelings of unnatural joy.

-Scared of losing my normal life(My views, my state of being)

-Feeling very off.

 

I don't know what to make of it, since i already had this condition a few times before. 1 after surgery while already feeling ill because of the meds, which already wanted to get rid off. mostly when withdrawal was the worst, early withdrawal but it stopped until may. the last time i got this was late may(2022), before it was in early januari(2022), June(2021) after getting off, Februari(2021) after being decreasing for a while, first time late december(2019). I also heard about my mom decreasing haldol by her self in 2019 and the switch from medication from one till another company.

 

I don't know if this withdrawal, but its very unpleasant mental state . Can someone help me.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Weird thoughts of reality not being real, questioning everything i can see, or hear and memories scared of being hallucinating or it being fake.

 

these thoughts are really traumatic, especially that it latches on to my deepest fears.


did anyone have this before

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Well, yes!

It's quite normal to have these thoughts. As scary as they sound, they are pretty harmless. 
What you resist, persist. Just ignore them, even the most disturbing ones...

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

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@Erfan

 

hey, a question do you often notice these moments where you question everything. Without there being anything to worry about, existential thoughts most often. This in a brutal loop of you cannot think your way out of it, with you knowing already the answer and the truth of it. But just the confusion you are experiencing makes it impossible to fix the “issue”, like cannot formulate concepts. As if you are misinterpreting how to actually deal with these situations and lost intelligence or brain capacity to fix it.

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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@Erfan I often experience a altered state, which is cannot leave. In this state i have strange feelings, i feel not like myself. It gives alot of distress. Like my brain Goes haywire, there is nothing that i can do. Even when experiencing only minor anxiety i cannot get out of this hellish state. It is as if my emotions are very different as i want them to be, not myself

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

@Erfan

in such a wave I experience a certain pattern of fear, which all goes in a cycle manner. Followed by more and more and more.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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I need some emergency advice.

I have started to be in the altered state for the last week and i cannot come down. I feel so weirded.. i an scared this wil be never ending

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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This shall too pass. Just be patient...

Believe me. LOVE

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

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The thing that you are describing is the absolute definition of OCD rather than GAD. 
You need to apply the ERP method. Google Exposure and response prevention (ERP) and IOCDF. They are a real game changers...

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

Link to comment

From IOCDF website:

 

Doing ERP is challenging, for sure! But when you do it correctly, the following things happen:

  1. You will feel an initial increase in anxiety, uncertainty, and obsessional thoughts.
  2. You will find that these feelings and thoughts are distressing, but also that they can’t hurt you — they are safe and manageable.
  3. You will find that when you stop fighting the obsessions and anxiety, these feelings will eventually begin to subside.
  4. This natural drop in anxiety that happens when you stay “exposed” and “prevent” the compulsive “response” is called habituation.
  5. You will find that your fears are less likely to come true than you thought.
  6. You will get better at managing “everyday” levels of risk and uncertainty.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
coloured font

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

Link to comment

From IOCDF website:

 

How is ERP different from traditional talk therapy (psychotherapy)?

 

Traditional talk therapy (or psychotherapy) tries to improve a psychological condition by helping you gain “insight” into your problems. Talk therapy can be a very valuable treatment for some disorders, but there is no research evidence that it is effective in treating OCD.

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

Link to comment

5 days of being more relaxed and having a times of no “waves”, i finally got my wave today. Now it’s just a constant loop i cannot get out off.

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

Well, just let it come and go. It's more or less an Acceptance and commitment (ACT) therapy!

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

Link to comment

@Erfan

 

Yes, i often don’t know when i’m entering a wave. Which is annoying, so often it’s about either developing psychosis or fear of losing everything i stood for. Like becoming in opposition with my facts based worldview.

it goes in loops never ending loops, it almost feels real sometimes. It such a scary neuro-emotion and if feel disconnected to myself.

 

this disconnect is on a emotional level not a depersonalization type of disorder, also sometimes i just start to cry. I have some heavy crying waves in recent weeks.

 

then when being in such a state, i cannot think clearly and when i do i just start to question everything. Everything feels weirded out.

 

but at the same time i start to feel more than before, which is a pattern. After these “altered states” of terror and mind****ing, the time after the wave i feel more than before. I sometimes can shift this “altered state” off, but this happend only a few times.

 

long story short about these waves:

-it feels like a “altered state”. 

-feels off “not really me”

-obsessions about my morals and views(mostly about losing them, even when i have based them on pure facts. But also about mental illnesses.)

-hormones fluctuating 

-easily agitated

-crying often(which is not something i would’ve done, i am a person who before shook his head and move on)

-loops of thoughts either about morals and views, mental illnesses.

-skin problems

-feel tired even when sleeping long hours

-thinking about drugs or the problems

-trying to micromanage my live.

-thinking about suicide more often than not.

-can’t stop it.
 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

If you can't stop feeling emotions/thoughts, there is a high chance that it is caused by your OCD. Take a look at ERP and ACT. They are life changers.

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

Link to comment

@Erfan couldn’t this also be withdrawal since i actually have it combined with cognitive issues?

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

Link to comment

It could be, but I would say OCD is an on-going medical condition. You have sticky thoughts, isn't it? So it's OCD. I'm not saying it that it's not 100% withdrawal but you have to acknowledge that OCD can play a part in these symptoms. Read these books:

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/25013734-with-hope-in-my-heart

 

https://theanxioustruth.com/an-anxiety-story/

 

Hope they help you in your recovery!

Have been on many medications (for around 10 years!), but two main SSRIs were Lexapro and Zoloft. Many side effects (weight gains +40 kg!!!, constant sweating no matter how hot/cold or humid the weather was!, gynecomastia, ...) which I was ignoring them for a long time as I thought not being depressed is more important than having side effects...
Been medication-free since April 2021! Lots of ERP, CBT, and mindfulness practices have helped me to live my life without medications.
You are not broken. It takes time...

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