Has over-stressing my nervous system lowered my chances of recovery?

[GeoJeep]

I’m 7 months out from an adverse reaction, and, although some of my symptoms have gone, I generally feel worse than I did when my symptoms were at their peak. I’m worried that this is due in no small part to the fact that I’ve spent the past 7 months in absolute panic over my symptoms, especially during May and June.

 

I have been on edge and prone to fits of rage over my symptoms and perceived lack of improvement since my symptoms started. After being told by several doctors that there was no way that antidepressants could possibly cause my symptoms, I began to believe it for a while, and, after it was suggested to me back in May that my symptoms could be the prodromal phase of schizophrenia, I went absolutely ballistic for around two months.

 

I don’t think terms such as “rumination” or “perseverance” can really encapsulate my behavior after I had become convinced that I was going schizophrenic. I spent every second of every day constantly agonizing over it, reading article after article and analyzing my thoughts and symptoms. I don’t think I even relaxed for a moment until sometime earlier this month, when a psychologist finally convinced me that I wasn’t going schizophrenic. 
 

Needless to say, my perseverance over the past several months has taken a toll on me, mentally and physically, and I believe that it has made symptoms such as blunted emotions, cognitive fog, and fatigue worse than they were before. Is it possible to undo the damage that this stress has done? Can I still see improvement after running my nervous system ragged?

[ShiningLight]

1 hour ago, GeoJeep said:

after it was suggested to me back in May that my symptoms could be the prodromal phase of schizophrenia, I went absolutely ballistic for around two months.

 

 

 

As anyone would! 🤦‍♀️ How awful to be treated like that. No words.

 

It is a commonly expressed fear around here that people are damaged irreparably. I have every faith that you will get better. The nervous system is adept at healing itself.

[GeoJeep]

11 minutes ago, ShiningLight said:

 

As anyone would! 🤦‍♀️ How awful to be treated like that. No words.

 

It is a commonly expressed fear around here that people are damaged irreparably. I have every faith that you will get better. The nervous system is adept at healing itself.

Thank you for believing that I can recover from this!

 

It’s pretty hard for me to believe that this will ever blow over. The past 7 months have been sheer agony, and I haven’t been able to find many recovery stories from folks who have have had similar reactions to a brief exposure to psychotropic meds. The thought of having to deal with this nightmare for years before noticing improvement is truly a frightening one…

[ShiningLight]

On 7/31/2021 at 7:15 PM, GeoJeep said:

The thought of having to deal with this nightmare for years before noticing improvement is truly a frightening one…

 

Don't do years. Just do today. ❤️

[GeoJeep]

23 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

 

Don't do years. Just do today. ❤️

Doing my best to keep on trucking!

[Colonial]

There is something about WD and Adverse reactions to meds, I think it's the cortisol deregulation, that makes us want to obsess over every symptom and worry and try to find a way to "fix it" past the point that, if not in this revved up state, we would have come to some sort of state of "acceptance" that it's an issue of time and being in a daily relaxed state that is the quickest road to recovery. 

 

The more we chronically think about our symptoms and ruminate abut them, the more power we give that negative energy and the longer we stay in that state.  It is extremely difficult to ignore them, but the quicker we start to break that pattern, they will diminish and we heal more quickly.  Stress and anxiety and worry will delay recovery, either WD  or Adverse reaction. Bad advice and false diagnosis' from doctors don't help, that is true.

 

The adrenaline wants to make us look months and years in advance and it overwhelms our entire system.

Their were days I was so bad, I literally could only go one hour at a time.

Now that I've somewhat progressed, I find the "One day at a time" motto really is reality in the most meaningful ways.

We like to "think" we plan our lives and are in control but a bad illness really makes us learn to accept how we really are just 1 person in a sea of humanity and it helps put ourselves in perspective.

[morgana]

hello @Colonial just reading your post here, you talk about dwelling on our symptoms can cause more anxiety, since the beginning of the year, i have kept a journal of what i eat, my major symptoms, my sleep history every day, i write down everything, i even write down bowel movements and everytime i urinate as i do it soo often..and so believe it is a withdrawal symptom.....i find writing it down makes me remember and be more aware of what i am experiencing as my memory is very bad...also it helps to look back and see for example i did this that day and found my symptom lessoned so maybe if i do it again it might give me more relief....i guess what i am saying is....do you or anyone out there feel...writing down what i am experiencing every hour of the day and noticing yep..i have that symptom...making things worse for myself? because i am focusing too much on my symptoms ....should i just forget writing it all down and just ignore my pain and symptoms and insomnia....even thou i feel writing it down makes me feel that yes it isnt just in my head i am experiencing it, so that in a couple of months time i can look back and say yes i remember now i did experience that...would love to hear your thoughts on this and anyone elses too...cheers

[Rusty1]

That is no fun, I had similar symptoms where I obsessively focused on some health issues (most didnt exist) and it caused my mind to run in circles all day and panic myself. It got so bad that if someone was telling me they went to the doctor I would start panicking that I needed to go to the doctor.

 

This process severely disrupts our CNS to completely abnormal levels and it plays out in adrenaline and cortisol surges creating panic.

 

Do not fret the more your CNS stabilizes  and the better you feel it will start to fade away. Mine has improved a lot.

 

In the meantime, try to let those thoughts cone amd go as the please but dont give them the attention they ask for. Easier said than done, but a good goal!

[Colonial]

9 hours ago, morgana said:

...do you or anyone out there feel...writing down what i am experiencing every hour of the day and noticing yep..i have that symptom...making things worse for myself? because i am focusing too much on my symptoms ....should i just forget writing it all down and just ignore my pain and symptoms and insomnia..

 

Keeping good records is very important!

That is not the same as "worrying" or constantly ruminating negatively about your symptoms in worry.

 

Actually, I found that doing exactly what you did in a wave helped me worry LESS because I knew I didn't have to try to "remember" everything once the wave past I would have a great record and then I could sit down and look back over it when I was feeling better, and see patterns over time.

 

It was only because I did this that I was able to piece together very strange events FOUR YEARS apart by happenstance of looking back into old notes.

So, good note taking, done properly, with a certain amount of emotional detachment is not only critical, but should help lessen your stress since you know going forward it will help you piece patterns together over time.

 

It only becomes a problem if we allow over selves to become emotionally distraught by the process, which you can control.

Remind yourself that good notes are beneficial as long as we don't "abuse" the process to ruminate or worry about the symptom we're writing down.

Over time, it should  not be any different than making a grocery list, so to speak.

 

Hope that helps!

[morgana]

thats true @Colonial it does take away my stress and anxiety thankyou for your input.

 

i can understand where your coming from @GeoJeep i went on Anti-depressants as i admit at the time  i was depressed eg lost job, nowhere to live and basically life was **** however i than lost the plot and began hallucinating in the end more medications were added and more labels were added i was labelled as clinical depressed, borderline personality disorder and schizo effective disorder and forced to take AP's and AD's against my will, i accepted their belief and was told i would need to be on medication for the rest of my life and so i continued taking it for the next 24 years because i had been told i needed it for the rest of my life...well since stopping my AD and reducing my AP down to 1/4 of what i use to be on..i no longer hallucinate, i feel more connected to my body and am actually feeling like a normal person again..Pych's label us so that they can get paid for the prescriptions they write, without a label put on us their is no prescription, without a prescription they wouldnt have a job, all i can suggest is stop seeing this Pych doctor and find more productive ways to heal your mind and body....

[GeoJeep]

@Thelongestroadhome

 

Thank you for your reply.

 

I haven’t thought I had schizophrenia for a while. I saw 2 different psychologists who independently told me that I was almost certainly not at risk of psychosis.

 

Unfortunately, I don’t know if neuroplasticity is on my side. I think it’s likely that the Prozac caused some sort of epigenetic alterations. Neuroplasticity can’t change damage to gene expression.

[Darren]

That's what's happened with me. I've carried the symptoms with me. The brain has become mangled in some way. I lived on my own during taking venlafaxine and withdrawal/taper. I'm trying to get back to the way I was 20 years ago, pre tablets. I've tested it out, when I'm not in my environment where I've had all issues, I seem to be how I was 20 years ago.  Because most people who haven't took medication will tell you they have never felt different over their lifetime, they are doing things flawlessly.  The term "interupted" is definitely something you can put on people with anti psychotics or depressants. Everything becomes less natural and flawlessly. When we were children we did things as they came, flawlessly.  

[stevenb]

I'm in the same boat. Over the past 14 months or so i've done a lot of rapid tapering and cold turkey attempts. Got me nowhere but stuck on the standard dose.

Hopefully patience and less worrying about it will serve me well over time.