Overwhelmedlady: Forced Withdrawal pandemonium plus 2020 lockdown plus financial collapse

[Oaktree1]

@Overwhelmedlady,

 

There are so many of us all across the world who are isolated and suffering very badly but you appear to be suffering  more than most.   I hope that things improve for you.  Like JesusSaveMe I feel that anything I might write is inadequate because of your level of suffering.  This world needs a wake up call badly.  No one should have to suffer like you are suffering - it is so wrong.  I wish you peace and respite.  

 

Oaktree1

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @GreatfulThanks for reaching out. No,no chance to leave my apartment.Even if that possibility existed I have 2  dogs. And yes, traumatic situations have certainly piled on.It's a never-ending nightmare. Most people seem to prefer to hold on to false narratives instead of listening to what I have to say.There are one or two exceptions but we live in a world in which there's a constant quest for quick solutions.Complex situations in general and even more so those in which poorly understood medical conditions involving both physical and psychological damage are too demanding of people's time and attention.Easier road is to invalidate,blame the sufferer, not get involved,propose erroneous pathways without even considering the recipient s opinion or belief. I am constantly having to put myself in the position of the «supplicant» ( term used by the economist Guy Standing) in order to barely survive. The stress created by permanently living on the edge leaves me exhausted. As I said, one is expected to function no matter what and when one tries to explain that there's no magic treatment or pill to solve this complex,poorly understood medical condition you face disbelief and lack of understanding to say the least. Expecting people's emotional support is utopia. «You have to help yourself», whatever that means, is what I get. If you add  zero resources to the protracted withdrawal or neurotoxicity or iatrogenic illnes (choose the option) you get a dark cocktail. In any case it's completely frustrating to realize that in my case ,the «you have to help yourself» mantra becomes a sick joke after learning that ,when applied to this condition ,😢 it requires material resources ( buy supplements, put into practice  good nutrition including good quality proteins,pay for a reliable psychotherapist ,avoid stress and so on) So...it is what it is. Living on the edge.

 

 

 

 

 

[Overwhelmedlady]

2 hours ago, Oaktree1 said:

@OverwhelmedladyThis world needs a wake up call badly.  

Hi @Oaktree1 Thank you for your post and your empathy. I am unable  to measure the suffering each of us here are experiencing.We all experience suffering in a different way and yes, it can certainly be unbearable depending on the circumstances. I do agree though that systemic changes are badly needed because the suffering has multiple causes and millions suffer around the world. These drugs ended up being like a plague because so many resorted to them as a quick fix and they ended up being overprescribed. It's yet another pandemic and in this case there's no vaccine to stop the spreading of this poisonous, intoxicating overmedicalisation. 

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi  @FaureI am answering your question in my thread now.Not a good week really.Had to deal with some external stressors and as you know these can knock you down. Thanks for reaching out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

How are u doing? Not much progress for me…. I can’t help wondering when this torture will end … it has to end one day …

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi  @JesusSavemefromWDI was about to ask you if you had had any tiny progress. I had a difficult week and I will have another one surely. I had two big external stressors and I am glad it's Friday night so I can have 48 hours of respite. At the moment it's getting quite warm again after a couple of nice breezy spring days. I dread heat waves,my fatigue seems to get worse when it's too warm. Are you attending the mental health webinar this week?

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

6 minutes ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Hi  @JesusSavemefromWDI was about to ask you if you had had any tiny progress. I had a difficult week and I will have another one surely. I had two big external stressors and I am glad it's Friday night so I can have 48 hours of respite. At the moment it's getting quite warm again after a couple of nice breezy spring days. I dread heat waves,my fatigue seems to get worse when it's too warm. Are you attending the mental health webinar this week?

 

 

No I can’t focus due to mental Akathisia … all I can do is sleep, eat and shower… still hard to believe 3.5 weeks of Zoloft did this to me…. Sorry for all ur struggles as well, praying for us when I find some extra strength to do so 

[gardenlady]

@Overwhelmedlady Just yesterday did I read some of your introductory posts to get an understanding of what you've been and still are going through.  I am so grieved for you about your very difficult health and financial situation.  Also, it sounds like you have no in-person support.  The fact that you have survived your hellish situation for two years is astounding and a testament to your determination despite your fragility.  I wish I could offer you more than distant, online encouragement as I truly understand that it is no replacement for in-person relationship and support.  Just know you are in my thoughts as we barrel along this tortuous path toward what I hope are better days ahead. 

 

I really empathize with you about your friends' criticism of your declining to seek psychiatric help as my friends do the same.  They simply cannot fathom the corruption in the psychiatric and pharmaceutical industries and so cannot understand our refusal to seek their assistance.  The gaslighting is maddening and has caused me to sever those friendships as I cannot tolerate the stony, silent disapproval.  I find that not only do I no longer want to associate with such people, I couldn't even if I wanted to due to my personality disintegration.  So, isolation is the inevitable outcome.  It's so odd to crave companionship and company, but have no capacity for it.  Only those of us experiencing the paradoxical phenomenon can understand it. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi OWL,

Your amazing.  I agree.

I've had posting difficulties lately, and so very busy.......yet, shall return.  Here to your thread.

Please let us know when you have questions or just need a support buddy.

 

How is this week going for you OWL?

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @manymoretodaysJust saw you post.Thank you so much for dropping by. Quite a roller coaster to be honest.Stress and more stress.Just trying to cope...and breathing.

[manymoretodays]

Yes....breathe.

 

Tis the season too, for so many.......the holidays become stressful.

I'm so glad you made it to that conference.  And my gosh, I am still assimilating, and going back to some of the information and my notes.  Seems I have many new websites to look at.

 

I really liked some of the later stuff.......the solutions.  And was impressed.  So many decent practitioners coming together with ideas and information.

 

Here is to your continued healing.  It'll come.  You'll be off the roller coaster soon.  Waving my wand, as I say......if only......I could do magic healing stuff.  🤗♥️

 

And hugs.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Overwhelmedlady]

I was wondering if anyone has read "The social sources of sickness" by Susan Rosenthal MD. I have just found her blog and found it quite interesting. Her last article : Does capitalism make us crazy? is worth reading.

[Overwhelmedlady]

This was a horrible Xmas. I am totally hopeless.All this suffering specially these last three months,begging for support which I do not have.Nobody understands.Nobody cares.I had to block my emotions somehow in order to keep going,at least to take care of my dogs.This situation I am in looks like a sinister merry go round .A torturous repetition .An endless nightmare.I have no life and I can't find the way out.I have very little energy. Stress never ends.I am just struggling to survive .

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 minutes ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

This was a horrible Xmas. I am totally hopeless.All this suffering specially these last three months,begging for support which I do not have.Nobody understands.Nobody cares.I had to block my emotions somehow in order to keep going,at least to take care of my dogs.This situation I am in looks like a sinister merry go round .A torturous repetition .An endless nightmare.I have no life and I can't find the way out.I have very little energy. Stress never ends.I am just struggling to survive .

I am so sorry, I understand cause I am feeling the same in survival mode all day every day for the last 14 months. I do care about you even though we have never met as we share the same pain. I just prayed for us, there is nothing else I can do for either myself or you. Pray, patiently take the suffering and find somewhere deep in my heart the hope of healing in the near future.

I just don’t understand why these drugs are widely prescribed but I promise to contribute in changing this if I ever get out of this torture.

 

[Overwhelmedlady]

Thank you for your kindness.I just received another blow.someone I thought was my friend.it just never ends.but as I have read before in this forum many people have gone through the same pain with relatives or friends.the selfishness,the abandonment.anyway,I don't need more toxicity in my life,neither do I need deceitful relationships.it doesn't help.it adds more pain.more damage.I think of you too and always read your posts.In the midst of my suffering and my despair I deeply appreciate that you took the time to answer.send you a big hug,my distant friend ,in this dark night.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

5 minutes ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Thank you for your kindness.I just received another blow.someone I thought was my friend.it just never ends.but as I have read before in this forum many people have gone through the same pain with relatives or friends.the selfishness,the abandonment.anyway,I don't need more toxicity in my life,neither do I need deceitful relationships.it doesn't help.it adds more pain.more damage.I think of you too and always read your posts.In the midst of my suffering and my despair I deeply appreciate that you took the time to answer.send you a big hug,my distant friend ,in this dark night.

Yes I am ur friend… a friend that u have never met, yet I connect and understand you more than the friends u have met. Your suffering has touched my heart so much that I have promised God if I ever recover I ll do smg more for you than just sending supportive messages ….. i promise you that but I just don’t know if I ll recover this evil adverse reaction 

[Overwhelmedlady]

Thank you again.you brought tears to my eyes.words like yours are powerful.the pain we go through can be lethal,as are these drugs.in times of despair,I realize that kind words can save lives.sometimes it's hard for me to read some posts.sometimes many of us are too close to the abyss.I am aware of the fact that it's my dogs who still give me a reason to hold on.there's nothing else out there for me.I have lost my life and there's no going back.nothing remains,only my apartment which I need to sell to pay for my debts. An ocean of wreckage which I have to navigate or else perish and drown.

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

30 minutes ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Thank you again.you brought tears to my eyes.words like yours are powerful.the pain we go through can be lethal,as are these drugs.in times of despair,I realize that kind words can save lives.sometimes it's hard for me to read some posts.sometimes many of us are too close to the abyss.I am aware of the fact that it's my dogs who still give me a reason to hold on.there's nothing else out there for me.I have lost my life and there's no going back.nothing remains,only my apartment which I need to sell to pay for my debts. An ocean of wreckage which I have to navigate or else perish and drown.

 

 

 

 

Our stories are different …. I was blessed with great kids, husband, friends, job …. Lost it all in 3.5 weeks of zoloft and doesn’t seem I ll be getting back to my normal life any time soon. But bottom line is that right now we are both suffering extremely from these so called miracle drugs. I know acceptance is supposed to help face the situation but you see I could accept loosing my normal life on getting an X disease all of a sudden but loosing my life and my mind on a legally prescribed drug? Hell no! so sorry I just can’t digest it… 

you keep fighting and surviving each day for your dogs and me for my boys until one day with Gods grace we come out of AD torture.

[Overwhelmedlady]

I hope I can get some sleep tonight.it's almost 4 a.m here and and I am still too distressed to relax. Anyway,thanks again for reaching out.I hope you have a good sleep,I know your sleep has recovered and I am glad for you.I will post some more tomorrow.🌹its comforting to know you read my posts and you  care. 🌹

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

15 minutes ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

I hope I can get some sleep tonight.it's almost 4 a.m here and and I am still too distressed to relax. Anyway,thanks again for reaching out.I hope you have a good sleep,I know your sleep has recovered and I am glad for you.I will post some more tomorrow.🌹its comforting to know you read my posts and you  care. 🌹

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s almost 4 am here as well and I am not sleeping cause I feel an unusual calmness inside me which I haven’t felt all these 14 months…. I know I ll be in hell when I sleep and wake up again so I am staying up to enjoy this calming feeling a bit longer. Hope u sleep peacefully 

[Oaktree1]

Dear Overwhelmedlady,

 

I am posting in support.  You kindly posted some support on my page a few months back when I was very bad.  It is Christmas day where I am.  I am mostly alone too.  I am sorry about the deceitful friend.   People can be very disappointing - non speaking animals like your dogs are superior in so many ways.  I had two dogs that carried me through the time in my twenties when I came  off all psyche drugs and was all but completely ostracised by my family of origin and all my so called friends. 

 

Now it's the second time around for me but now I have two cats - not the same as dogs.  Dogs are unselfish, and loving and needy in the way that cats just aren't.  I think they are life saving animals.  I think there must be many people living as hermits successfully as long as they have animals - I am nearly there myself.  I like to talk to myself a lot too out loud - it helps if I am feeling lonely or isolated or if I feel close to disintegration.

 

I wish you support as you go through this suffering.  Have you read Victor Frankl's 'Man's Search for Meaning'?  I found it helpful for intense periods of suffering.  

 

Oaktree1

 

 

[Overwhelmedlady]

 Dear @Oaktree1 Thank you so much for your kind words.I can't write a proper answer right now because I only slept for a few hours and and I am just trying to calm down while lying in bed.Went out earlier this morning with my dogs who were also really stressed and needed to do their business and walk at least a few blocks.huge effort for me.it's really hot here,beginning a heatwave now.I made sure that they drank lots of fresh water and then gave them their food.took a shower,washed my hair and feeling really drained. I will post in your thread later .thanks again,I have noticed that you are a very good writer.I like the way you express yourself.

 

 

[Oaktree1]

Dear @Overwhelmedlady

 

I am glad you got your dogs out the other day and washed your hair.   I hope you are keeping ok and thank you for the comment on my writing.  I hope you manged to get some sleep.  I don't know if this helps - I think that sometimes it's a comfort to know that you are not alone in your suffering.  In the past day I have been close to the end many times. 

 

A few days ago I moved a 100 miles away as a family member who is in the psychiatric profession was coming to stay for the holidays.  This person has bullied me for years.  When I was first ill in my 20's he told me that it would be a good thing if I was dead.   We shared a flat together at one point and they used to threaten to assault me; they once put their fist threw the bathroom door while I was in it and they come up to me and pretend to hit me.  I had a breakdown later on that year and moved out.  There was no repercussions for this person and my father later assaulted me at home that year.  He was angry that I had had to leave college for 'psychiatric reasons'.  One night I was singing in my room and my father broke in and beat me up - he was clever though - he used cushions.  I put up with it because my mental health was and is so poor, I didn't have anywhere else to go and and as a result became very dependent on my family of origin mainly my mother.  The others regard me as an annoying burden except my sister with whom I have repaired relationships a tiny bit.  I was frightened of this person for years and what he would say to me though I tried to maintain a relationship with him and his family for years because after two nervous breakdowns I ended up very isolated and I was poor at  relationships anyway.   

 

So I have been in this flat on my own.  The flat is near a house where I lived for years with the lady who mostly brought me up - she was my mum's nanny as a child.  Though not a blood relative she was my real family and the only person who was kind to me growing up.  She was my port in a storm for most of my life but she died seven years ago.   Being here I miss her terribly.  

 

Anyway I survived yesterday and I am going to try and survive today.  I hope you are surviving too.  

 

Oaktree1

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @Oaktree1 just wanted to tell you that I am trying to feel a little better in order to answer your post. It looks

like some of us here are having to go through very difficult days.I will do my best to answer asap.Thank you for reaching out.!🌹

 

 

 

 

[Oaktree1]

@Overwhelmedlady

 

There is no need to answer - I thought it might help you and me if I posted my own situation  so we could kind of share the difficulty but it is silly if someone is in a very difficult situation of their own.   I was feeling very lonely yesterday it was silly to do to another person who is already in a bad situation yourself.  Apologies.   The holiday (Christmas) period can be a tough time.  I wish you a bit a peace over the next while

 

Oaktree

[Overwhelmedlady]

Dear @Oaktree1No,it wasn't silly to post about yourself.It's ok because this is one of the aims of this forum.I read about this guy brioche and it was very triggering.I also read your answer to that post and I know that you are struggling like many of us are.my life circumstances are really critical and my weak physical and emotional state due to the abrupt cessation of two drugs makes it close to impossible to deal with the overwhelming stress.I am constantly asking for the minimum assistance just to survive (food) and my suffering is just bottled up because I have zero support.People do not want to listen.I realize that listening to  someone in such a desperate state is too much for most people,specially when there is no strong bond or empathy.it's just charity.So it's ok to write about yourself.some of us feel really lonely,myself included .I just tried to feel a littlet bit calm in order to answer because connecting with my suffering is just too much at this point.but I will before the year is over.meanwhile I hope you feel better and hold on.sending you my best wishes.🌹

[Oaktree1]

Thanks @Overwhelmedlady,

 

I think you are right about listening to someone in a desperate state being too much for most people if there is no strong bond or empathy.  My heart sank too when I saw the news about poor Brioche.  I spent a lot of time in France when I was younger and I thought his name 'Brioche'  was so poignant and how how he referred to how eating various foods triggering severe stomach issues because food is like religion to most French people.   His situation seemed insurmountable.  And that I suppose is the limit of a online support board - we can post but we can't see people or touch them and there are limits to what support can be offered if someone is severely distressed.   But I suppose one has to remember that there are no two people the same and just because you were triggered by it as I was it does not mean that you will have the same outcome as that poor man.  

 

It is quite something to be off the drugs for as long as you have and you are now 2 years into cold turkey from drugs.  They say that healing can take 3 to five years so you are only one year off that now.   You appear to have great resources to have survived almost alone for the last two dreadful years with your dogs.

 

I cannot imagine how awful it must be to have to ask for minimum assistance to survive.  I live on a very restricted income too from the state and worry about the future as I have little savings and no assets.  I have enough to eat at the moment as I live in the family home but that is at a very heavy price because of the dynamic.  I don't trust them and have to watch myself around them constantly.  That is why I feel a bit at peace now that I am alone.  I have no permanent home as such and don't know where I will go if the family home is sold.  

 

I find that if I talk to myself if I am intensely lonely it can help just to hear the sound of my own voice.  Even the television or an online video can help too.  I don't know if that is something you already do or not.  Anyway no need to reply back - just look after yourself  as best as you can until the end of this year and hopefully you will have some hope for the next year and remember two years off drugs is quite a big achievement regardless of how it came about.  All any of us can do is try and look after ourselves day by day and hour by hour really .

 

Oaktree 

 

 

[Overwhelmedlady]

Dear @Oaktree1Thanks for your reply.I have no tv but watch videos or an occasional tv programme online.Yes,its a distraction.I read online too,and have just opened a twitter account to follow others who belong to the prescribed harm community.Havent posted anything yet ,mainly retweet other people's comments or recommendations.anyway,I will post some more later.stay safe.🌹

[JesusSavemefromWD]

How are you doing these days?  Keeping you in my prayers… that’s all I can do for now ..❤️

[Greatful]

@Overwhelmedlady

I wanted to stop and see how you are doing?  

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Please update us …. I ve been thinking of you and getting a bit worried we haven’t heard from you 

[Oaktree1]

dear @Overwhelmedlady

 

I too am beginning to wonder how you are as your page is very quiet . I hope you are ok. Not a big post from me struggling a lot at the moment. We don’t know each other but I often think of you

 

oaktree

 

 

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @Oaktree1

i I am struggling as well.Always on the verge of collapse,same unsolved economic hardship,little help and sorting out domestic emergencies which I cant fix.I am not posting lately because I spend more time online,like I told you last time,following people  on Twitter from t he prescribed harm community but also reading about other issues which affect vast number of people elsewhere (in the UK for sure).Poverty, food insecurity,climate change, and other social issues which I have always cared about.I also remember you and Jesus save me ( the other member here) who we both interact with. Always read your posts. Thank you for caring.I am always here though silent at times. Best wishes for you.🤗🌹

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I am glad you are able to distrust a bit by focusing on other topics…. Stay strong …. Always in my prayers 

[Overwhelmedlady]

I have not posted for a while because I needed to take some time off  the forum.  I am not feeling well and very dire life circumstances are getting in the way of my recovery.My sleeping pattern remains the same,it's stuck in the 5-6 hour pattern.I still have blurred vision and a constant symptom that has appeared is this "hot head" symptom,kind of a mild fever that I can relate to stress and poor nutrition.I also have fatigue and feel really weak. The last months

( October onwards) have been really horrific and I realize that chronic stress combined with undernourishment have made me go backwards in the slow recovery I was experiencing even though I have struggled with the same dire life circumstances during last year as well. It just got worse with respect to the little assistance I get from a few friends. An old school mate died last weekend and though she had cut her connection with me since January,it was a shock and I had panic attacks during the weekend.Tachycardia,dry mouth,I really thought I could die at any moment.Today was slightly better but not ok.Also drinking lots of water( I normally drink lots of water but these last days were just excessive even for my high standards) I realize it has to do with dehydration probably. I have never focused on my symptoms too much.I have a tendency to ignore them .I realize also,that due to this horrible experience I had to go   through with withdrawal I have a profound distrust in doctors in general.Being unable to choose any kind of medical assistance (I have no medical insurance) makes it worse .So,I have no clue if I may have any additional illness .It's difficult to know,but my guess is that stress and undernourishment are the main issues.I have lost some weight lately and I feel very tired most of the time. Depressed? Probably.But,like I said,that's only one aspect and not a f...g diagnosis.I can't think of any person

not feeling like this in these circumstances.Its pretty much like waiting for death without being able to change the circumstances. I am exhausted.Only my dogs keep me going. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I am so sorry your suffering continues so badly. I am bad as well and all I can do is to keep praying for us. If I recover I ll do more than just praying but for now that’s all I can do…..