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Perceived weakness? Numbness? Fear of MS


Seb1992
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4 months off Sertraline! Bear with me here - this might be rambly. But god it feels good to just get it down on paper (so to speak) and not have it swirling around in my head. Maybe no one will read this but at least i've strung it together in words. 

 

My dizziness seems to have resolved itself after almost 8 months. At least 4 weeks without the dizzy feelings now which is really amazing. I am aware and at peace with the idea of it maybe making a comeback at some point. That's fine. I'll let my brain do its thing and power through like I already have.  

 

The symptoms have really put me through the ringer health anxiety wise though. A month ago it was almost to the point of worrying about a new ailment everyday. Acceptance is hard. Trusting the withdrawal thing is not 100% just yet but I just got a clear bill of cardiac health so I feel happy to say goodbye to those worries.

 

Generally, I think my withdrawal is manageable. It's liveable. I can handle this. If anything it will make me stronger. Drew Insalata's podcast episode on withdrawal really helped me. I listen to it once a week maybe. The acceptance thing is really a daily practice. I wish there was a way of knowing for certain that i'm experiencing WD and that there was a wealth of doctors who were sympathetic to it. I'm trying to think of the symptoms really passively like "woah dude thats crazy that the brain can do that" and then move on. I'll let you know when I have success with that approach lol. 

 

But I also have a respect for the non-linear progress of recovery and that things may get worse and that many people have it much worse than I do. It'll take as long as it takes and I am just happy to be alive. 

 

Ok so onto the current worry -- before going on a well-deserved holiday a few weeks ago I fell down the MS rabbit hole. Not the first time I've had this.  My heels catch the ground sometimes and I've always dragged my feet since I was a kid but I thought 'what if I actually have MS' and I spent a whole evening quite worried. I swear to you, the next day my arm went numb. just below my right wrist but not above the elbow. It then turned into a kind of weakness - almost like my arm and hand felt lighter than my other arm. I felt like i couldn't move it or use it even tho I totally could and am fine even doing pushups. My hand felt stiff, like I couldn't hold my phone correctly. My fingers felt less capable of things. When I woke up in the night, my arm would feel impossibly light - almost dead. Even tho it wasn't. Almost like my brain couldn't connect to it. 


Also getting weird numb feeling in lower calf and foot but not the same 'lightness'. This could be a perfect storm of having an office job and sitting for most of the day and me loving jogging despite sometimes getting shin splints and not being great at stretching.

 

Also seems like this is on one side of my body only. A month or two ago I had some restlessness for a few days just in my right side as well.  

 

These new symptoms were quite bad for a few weeks but not unbearable. Just worrisome. I hyper fixate on it a lot. Seems to come and go now. If a neurologist ruled out any neurological pathology I would be happy to leave it alone and roll with it. 


ANYWAY, I can't get over the fear of a progressive neurological disorder like MS. I know that the right thing to do is just get it checked out and then take it from there but I also know that won't solve the issue of health anxiety. I'll find something else to cling onto. Also going to a doctor shouldn't be a big deal and I'm not too scared of them but the idea of starting a whole new procedure to rule out certain things is so anxiety inducing. The wait time in the UK.... omg. Took me 8 months just to speak to a cardiologist for 20 mins. I think a lot of the stress is related to the inaccessibility of the medical system. 


So my question here is: has anyone else here feared MS or similar due to their WD symptoms? Anyone relate to the weakness and lightness in one side of body? And why only on one side? And also does WD show up on an MRI? Is that crazy to ask?


Anyway. Love and solidarity to everyone. 

 

 

13 years of Sertraline - 100mg. Started at age 16. I was also on Risperdal for a year around this time (don't remember the dose but I went off it and don't remember having any WD) Have had attempts at decreasing in the past but inevitably go back up to 100mg but never experienced WD symptoms.

 

Dumb AF taper went as follows over the course of 1 year in 2020 : april/may alternating 100/50mg, june 75mg, july/august 75/50mg, sep/october 50 mg, november/dec 50/25mg, january/feb 2021: 25mg (dizzyness starts here) 

April 11 2021: last dose (drop to 0) (symptoms of dizzyness and heart palpitations)

June/July: started experiencing some windows and waves. window from dizzyness starts.

August: window from dizzyness, overall good but some numbness in arm and leg and so inevitably health anxiety. 

September: breakdown over fear of the future. had to move home. dizzyness comes back for a few days and then goes away. sleep issues

October: sleep issues, severe anxiety over future, twitching and jerking. insomnia but had a few good days of sleep. some amazing moments like windsurfing and an almost euphoric bikeride.

 

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I realized one thing that we should not get panicked about wd and should not  try different medications and think much more.

we overthink and due to impatient we try many things that what leads to further complication for problems.

If I were you I would wait further and see the changes.

It will be good idea to get MRI and CT scan done but I would not take any drugs 

2017 october--2018 march->(6 month) fluoxetine 20,30 mg-->cold turkey= after 2 month semen leakage

2018 july---2018 Aug-->(24 days) fluoxetine 20 mg --> cold turkey = vivid dreams begin

2018 december 2019 Jan-->(1 month) Amitriptyline 25--> cold turkey
--------++++--horror of drugs begins. Taking one after another and cold turkey-------+++------------------
2019 May--2019 May--> (12 days) Lexapro cold turkey

2019 May--2019 august -->(3 month)Cobazam 10 mg +amitriptyline 25 mg --> clobazam cold turkey

----2019 october ---> went cold turkey amitriptyline 25 mg.

2019 october--2020 Jan -->(3 months) duloxetine cymbalta 30mg --->cold turkey

2020 jan-2020 Apr--> (3 months) paroxetine 25 mg --> Cold turkey

2020 July--2021 Jan--> (6 months) amitriptyline 50 mg ,75 mg,100 mg ,125 mg -> cold turkey

2021 jan--2021 May--> (4 months) imipramine 75 mg -->cold turkey

2021 may-2021 Aug--> (3 months) nortriptyline 25 mg --> cold turkey== still semen leakage and vivid dream

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13 years of Sertraline - 100mg. Started at age 16. I was also on Risperdal for a year around this time (don't remember the dose but I went off it and don't remember having any WD) Have had attempts at decreasing in the past but inevitably go back up to 100mg but never experienced WD symptoms.

 

Dumb AF taper went as follows over the course of 1 year in 2020 : april/may alternating 100/50mg, june 75mg, july/august 75/50mg, sep/october 50 mg, november/dec 50/25mg, january/feb 2021: 25mg (dizzyness starts here) 

April 11 2021: last dose (drop to 0) (symptoms of dizzyness and heart palpitations)

June/July: started experiencing some windows and waves. window from dizzyness starts.

August: window from dizzyness, overall good but some numbness in arm and leg and so inevitably health anxiety. 

September: breakdown over fear of the future. had to move home. dizzyness comes back for a few days and then goes away. sleep issues

October: sleep issues, severe anxiety over future, twitching and jerking. insomnia but had a few good days of sleep. some amazing moments like windsurfing and an almost euphoric bikeride.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 8/17/2021 at 3:38 PM, Seb1992 said:

4 months off Sertraline! Bear with me here - this might be rambly. But god it feels good to just get it down on paper (so to speak) and not have it swirling around in my head. Maybe no one will read this but at least i've strung it together in words. 

 

My dizziness seems to have resolved itself after almost 8 months. At least 4 weeks without the dizzy feelings now which is really amazing. I am aware and at peace with the idea of it maybe making a comeback at some point. That's fine. I'll let my brain do its thing and power through like I already have.  

 

The symptoms have really put me through the ringer health anxiety wise though. A month ago it was almost to the point of worrying about a new ailment everyday. Acceptance is hard. Trusting the withdrawal thing is not 100% just yet but I just got a clear bill of cardiac health so I feel happy to say goodbye to those worries.

 

Generally, I think my withdrawal is manageable. It's liveable. I can handle this. If anything it will make me stronger. Drew Insalata's podcast episode on withdrawal really helped me. I listen to it once a week maybe. The acceptance thing is really a daily practice. I wish there was a way of knowing for certain that i'm experiencing WD and that there was a wealth of doctors who were sympathetic to it. I'm trying to think of the symptoms really passively like "woah dude thats crazy that the brain can do that" and then move on. I'll let you know when I have success with that approach lol. 

 

But I also have a respect for the non-linear progress of recovery and that things may get worse and that many people have it much worse than I do. It'll take as long as it takes and I am just happy to be alive. 

 

Ok so onto the current worry -- before going on a well-deserved holiday a few weeks ago I fell down the MS rabbit hole. Not the first time I've had this.  My heels catch the ground sometimes and I've always dragged my feet since I was a kid but I thought 'what if I actually have MS' and I spent a whole evening quite worried. I swear to you, the next day my arm went numb. just below my right wrist but not above the elbow. It then turned into a kind of weakness - almost like my arm and hand felt lighter than my other arm. I felt like i couldn't move it or use it even tho I totally could and am fine even doing pushups. My hand felt stiff, like I couldn't hold my phone correctly. My fingers felt less capable of things. When I woke up in the night, my arm would feel impossibly light - almost dead. Even tho it wasn't. Almost like my brain couldn't connect to it. 


Also getting weird numb feeling in lower calf and foot but not the same 'lightness'. This could be a perfect storm of having an office job and sitting for most of the day and me loving jogging despite sometimes getting shin splints and not being great at stretching.

 

Also seems like this is on one side of my body only. A month or two ago I had some restlessness for a few days just in my right side as well.  

 

These new symptoms were quite bad for a few weeks but not unbearable. Just worrisome. I hyper fixate on it a lot. Seems to come and go now. If a neurologist ruled out any neurological pathology I would be happy to leave it alone and roll with it. 


ANYWAY, I can't get over the fear of a progressive neurological disorder like MS. I know that the right thing to do is just get it checked out and then take it from there but I also know that won't solve the issue of health anxiety. I'll find something else to cling onto. Also going to a doctor shouldn't be a big deal and I'm not too scared of them but the idea of starting a whole new procedure to rule out certain things is so anxiety inducing. The wait time in the UK.... omg. Took me 8 months just to speak to a cardiologist for 20 mins. I think a lot of the stress is related to the inaccessibility of the medical system. 


So my question here is: has anyone else here feared MS or similar due to their WD symptoms? Anyone relate to the weakness and lightness in one side of body? And why only on one side? And also does WD show up on an MRI? Is that crazy to ask?


Anyway. Love and solidarity to everyone. 

 

 

Hey @Seb1992 im 6 months off CT. I'm not sure if this will help but i've had LOTS of MS symptoms since i started w/d. i currently have a numb left calf/foot, it tingles, it feels numb and weird. But i can walk on it properly etc. ive got muscle weakness and tremors etc. I've been to the doctor, had TONS of blood tests done, all normal. She thinks its nothing to worry about and it will pass on its own. But yes i completely understand the fear of MS during withdrawal, i think its a very common fear for alot of people during withdrawal and alot of people say their health anxiety increases in w/d due to the amount of physical issues it presents! Anyway, i havent seen a neurologist or had an MRI etc because i'm the UK aswell and they are very adament on being slow and generally brushing things off as being nothing to worry about etc. and because i have a history of anxiety in my medical records, they instantly put my issues down to that alot of the time. I think its very normal for withdrawal symptoms to mimic those of MS. x

May 2016- August 2020 Fluoxetine 20mg (pooped out)

August 2020 - December 2020 Sertraline 50mg (adverse effects)

Dec 2020-Mar 10th 2021 Citalopram 20mg (adverse effects)- STOPPED cold turkey

Fully antidepressant free since 10th March 2021. 

Take occasional propranolol 10mg.

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@Seb1992, at some point I also wondered about MS, I had some weakness - it happened randomly - I was shelling peanuts and my hand just couldn't do it and then it passed, then happened again a few days later (could have been WD, or a TIA or most likely a pinched nerve - who knows). I also had tinging/pins&needles on only half of my body (left or right) but head to toe - that was quite freaky. Those have passed. I did wonder about MS at the time but the thing with things like that is that you will have many more symptoms so I waited to see if I'd get more and as I didn't (these were now 2 years ago and 1.5 years ago) I let that go. If they come back, I will worry about it then. I think people here who have such neuro issues and get tested end up getting a clean bill of health. 

 

Why don't you give yourself a few months to see if things get worse and then you can worry about it. This "shelving" anxiety for a while is a technique that I learned in CBT. I often forget about the shelved anxiety altogether and never need to revisit it. 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

If you would like to get a response from me directly please type @Onmyway some place in your message so I get notified of your post. I am not able to follow all of the threads all the time.

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, 

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

 

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