NeDaytoDayMJ: 24 days after quitting Lexapro feeling worse symptoms

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I haven’t had any improvements in the last two weeks.  I have been feeling worse.  I talked with my partner and she thinks if I’m not feeling better by April 1st to updose to 1mg.  This would be 4 months taking .5mg consistently with no improvements.  
So this is where I am right now.  I might bump it up sooner than later.  I’m just tired of feeling horrible.  I might have to give up.  The drug is winning this round.  I know I will have to taper off slower I just hope I feel better.  
I will provide another update when I updose or somehow miraculously feel better.  

[Altostrata]

0.5mg is a very small amount, increasing it a bit is not a huge step.

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I gave in.  I can’t bear the symptoms anymore.  I updosed to 1.0mg an hour ago.  I pray I find relief in the next week.  
This is the worst I have ever felt.  

[Altostrata]

This or a higher dose might be required. Please let us know how you're doing.

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I’ve had zero improvement in symptoms the past two and a half days.  I know it’s a very small amount of time but I had some hope it would make me feel better.  It probably takes a (week or up to a month) is what I have read from the reinstatement thread.  I will hold tight. 

Now, I’m going down the rabbit hole of what happens if no amount of updose helps. How long will I feel like this then?  How much more suffering?  

[Altostrata]

Might you be reasonable about this or are you going to torment yourself with worry every second? It takes several days to take effect. You are taking a very small amount, you may need more.

 

Can you give up your habit of catastrophizing?  If you keep up with this, you're going to wear out peer support.

 

 

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I’ve noticed I’ve had some heart palpitations today.  The head pressure / dizziness / headaches are still there.  

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I also feel more anxious and fidgety.  I feel real uneasy.  I know the drug is hitting me more now and I’m not sure this is what is suppose to happen.  
 

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Since the updose to 1.0mg  I have been feeling worse.  My symptoms are worse.  

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Maybe the lexapro reinstatement of .5mg has made the headaches and head pressure worse.  I had a slight headache prior to reinstatement of .5mg and now after reinstatement the headaches, head pressure/dizziness have been horrible ever since Oct 1st.  
 

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Would this been an adverse reaction or something else.  My body is not liking the 1.0mg at all.  Can someone chime in?  

[Altostrata]

What times o'clock do you take your drugs, when do these symptoms appear?

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I take the drug at 9am in the morning.  The symptoms just appeared today around 2pm cst.  

[Altostrata]

Do the symptoms appear at the same time each day? 

 

Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

830 a.m. Woke up head pressure and dizziness

9 a.m. coffee and Lexapro 1.0mg

10am headache/head pressure constant
1:15 p.m. adobado quesadilla 
3:00 p.m. Heart palpitations, more anxious and sad, crying, uneasy, jittery
3:30 p.m. Took hour long walk.  Felt dizzy twice which I hadn’t felt like this before while walking
4:45 p.m. Jittery uneasy, dizzy. Crying
7 p.m. Had to call girlfriend for support (hate doing this as she has had a long day but she is super supportive)

7:50 p.m. headache/head pressure dizziness ate bowl of cereal (diet hasn’t been good today). 

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Symptoms are constant.  Sometimes at night after 9pmish I can feel an ever so slight in relief of symptoms until bed time at 12am.  

[Altostrata]

Please report symptoms in this format. At what times are they worse?

 

How much coffee do you drink each day? Good to see you're walking.

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I have 2 cups of coffee a day.  I'm going to reduce the coffee moving forward.  I have to be more disciplined.

[Altostrata]

Caffeine can cause palpitations and jitteriness in people sensitized by withdrawal. Suggest you taper by gradually replacing with decaf.

 

You take Lexapro and caffeine at the same time in the morning. Can you take Lexapro a couple of hours earlier?

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Just wanted to give an update for my journey.  I quit taking Lexapro 2 months ago on March 19.  
I am not feeling much worse than before.  My main symptoms are still present.  Headache/dizziness/head pressure/sadness.  I seem to get sad daily.  I’m not going back on the drug and will have to ride out the symptoms.  
I just got back from a trip to New Orleans for 5 days and surprisingly held up the best I could ask for.  I did not get sad.  I had head issues and slight dizziness but it wasn’t terrible to the point were I couldn’t enjoy myself.  Of course when I get back home and away from my girlfriend the sadness and symptoms intensify.  
I know I will heal it is just frustrating.  I am also dealing with a second health issue which is compounding my morale.  It’s a very challenging time in my life.  I’m scared, sad, and feel awful quite a bit. 

[Altostrata]

Sorry to hear that. Perhaps your sadness is related to feeling lonely apart from your girlfriend.

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Oh no.  I couldn't sleep last night. I slept for three hours.  I was up all night ruminating about my relationship as my gf want to take a week and a half off.  She’s never done this before and I can’t help but think the worse. Why would someone need so much time to process a major set back to our relationship?  Why doesn’t she understand that this is the worst thing that could happen right now?  I’m withdrawing from antidepressants she knows what I deal with.  Does she even care about my well being?  Am I being selfish for asking this?   I am suffering greatly now.  Im lost.  Im not living. 
I was for the most part plodding along daily.  Still feeling crappy but it was manageable.  Now this.  Can someone give me some encouragement.  

[labrat15]

Hey NeDaytoDayMJ sorry to hear that. Maybe just give her the break she needs it is probably really hard for her to see you suffering. 

[labrat15]

Try and stay positive I think that is vital for recovery...

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

@labrat15 Thank you for reaching out.  Your soul is so kind.  A fresh breeze on a warm summer night.  I appreciate the response.  
After she sent the text that she needed the time to gather her bearings and we can talk about this after the ten days,  I didn’t respond to her.  
So I absolutely am giving her the break.  I’m not responding until she reaches back out.  If she can’t be there for me in my darkest days then it was never meant to be.  It sucks because I love her more than any women in my life.  

[Foxclover6]

Why did you ct? It doesn't get better in 5 or 6 months, it gets harder as you go.

[Foxclover6]

Just ignore my comment,  I didn't read your whole post

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

I’m back from a trip to Montana.  I drove 14 hrs there and back.  I left a little after my Thursday post.  I felt okay there.  I was occupied in that I had to drive, the sites, and got to see my little sister.  
Now I’m back and the anxiety is kicking in again.  I’m hoping my cns is just recovering from driving 14 hrs all day yesterday.  But it’s pretty brutal today.  It’s a day were I need to make it hour to hour.  

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

It hasn’t gotten better the last two days.  I’m afraid I need a resolution with my gf soon.  Without a positive outcome, I will spiral down more.  I’m at the lowest of the lows right now.  My head hurts quite a bit.  I have no appetite.  I’m a broken man.  
I’ve had brief thoughts of ending the game but I’m not close to that as I have my two sons that mean so much to me.  I’m surviving right now.  That’s it.  Life feels empty.  I’m hoping the withdrawal isn’t getting worse and this is all related to the stress.  It’s hard to tell.  I pray it’s stress related because that can ease and go away.  If withdrawal is getting worse I’m going to be in real bad shape.  

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Three months off Lexapro.  I’m sure things could be worse.  Things can be a lot better though.  I was hoping to be making some progress.  Sadly I haven’t.  It’s the same song and dance the past 9 months of my life.  
I’m still powering through.  I guess I can give myself credit for this.  I’m a fighter.  Last week was horrendous.  I’m getting over the extreme anxiety and today I haven’t been as sad as much.  
I can’t wait until I don’t have to post here.  Happy Father’s Day.  

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

My partner and I are well.  We resolved our differences.  I’m still recovering from the complete shock.  The last two days I’ve had horrible headaches and head pressure non stop.  Also, pretty bad cognitive impairment.  
Im hoping to stabilize better soon.  
This journey is horrible.  

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Four months off the drugs.  July 19 is the date.  I wish I could come on and give better news but I'm still the same.  I've had a bad couple days lately.  I will be traveling to Montana tomorrow with my gf to visit my sister.  

I'm still not sure if our relationship will make it long term.  She has been different since the break up.  It's saddening.  Its only been a month and a half since break up so maybe she still needs time.  I would think she would be more engaging and loving again.  Maybe I'm just a fool.

I just have to hold onto the idea that I will get better.  I pray God will help me.  I pray that my life will be normal again.  

I'm surviving that is the key.  I'm making it.  Maybe next time I update it will be gone.  

[Foxclover6]

Sorry you're struggling,  you're in my thoughts. 

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

So I’m sitting here on a Friday night in an empty house. My two sons are in Wisconsin.  I’m wondering if my life will ever improve.  My symptoms have increased the past week.  I can feel the neck muscle tightening and shortness of breathe at times.  I know this I have to live with forever.  However the sheer sadness and head ache / pain are present.  I feel more fatigued and generally worse.  I have ate more sugar the past week so starting tomorrow Im going to reduce the sugar again.  Im hoping this is the culprit but can’t be too sure.  
I read about it taking years to feel better and I just can’t bare to think it will take that long.  What an absolute waste of my life.  I understand Im still having experiences and fun times but Im not really present all the time and I feel like life is just passing me by.  I think about drinking alcohol quite a bit lately after being sober for 13 yrs.  I just want to escape.  I want to not have to deal with the sadness, crying, and pain.  Im tired of suffering.  My soul is broken at times.  I feel like I can easily lose my mind.  I feel defeated.  

[jozeff]

How are you doing?

Any improvements so far?

 

I feel your pain about drinking alcohol. I've been sober 8.5 years myself snd sometimes it's just tempting to sedate myself snd feel relaxed again within minutes.

 

Stay strong!! Hope you're doing a bit better!

 

Jozeff

 

[getofflex]

I’m willing to bet that sugar is the culprit. I shared a piece of chocolate cake with my husband a few nights ago and I paid the price for the next 24 hours and I’m still recovering from that. If you drink it’s likely to ramp up your symptoms for a few weeks.  I don’t know if you’ve been to AA to help you get sober but if you’ve been there they talk about taking things only one day at a time and not projecting into the future. This is not forever it takes a very long time but eventually it does come to an end. Try reading some of the success stories.