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gigithemagiccat: Anhedonia, memory loss, emptiness, no will to live and pregnant.


gigithemagiccat

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Hi everyone. first off all i want to say how strong and brave  all of you are to be dealing with these nightmare drugs... 

i have been on and off of these psychiatric drugs,for 5 years. specifically srris (prozac + zoloft) wellbutrin + gabapentin, abilify, and now currently taking lamictal (150 mg.)

 

i am 36 weeks pregnant and terrified of the near future and as i haven't really been able to fully enjoy my pregnancy. or most of my youth... i don't even know what i am thinking or doing. :( 

 

i feel really alone. the reason of going on these meds was from dealing with depression + anxiety most of my life, and bpd + ptsd from abusive narcissistic parents. i attempted suicide right before. took about 50 pills. i had a very dysfunctional family.

 

i am 22 now. i feel lost, most days i feel empty ,hopeless.  i don't go out of my house, besides grocery shopping. i have no friends. maybe 1 but i barely ever see her , i have a social phobia ever since starting and withdrawing from these drugs. i developed major anhedonia from stopping the prozac + zoloft. even though i took one of the lowest doses possible. i had only been on these for 9 months or less. i remember stopping, as i was sick of depending on these. they told me they werent addicting and i could stop anytime,they told me nobody has ever had these symptoms, they lookde at me like  i was crazy. made me feel isolated.  i regret going cold turkey.. i remember being manic on them. severe anxiety, hallucinations insomnia, crawling sensations brain zaps major anhedonia, memory loss, etc. 

 

i hadn't been myself since. i was grieving my old self, it is one of the worst things you could ever experience. i didnt even know was possible. but here we are... anyways, i have been off the prozac + zoloft for almost 6 years now and wouldnt ever touch those things again. i took abilify for only a few weeks. amitryptiline once or twice. ambien, once. ativan only for a week. ive been off the gabapentin for almsot 3 years now. i tapered that one. after going off cold turkey off the srris, i went on wellbutrin and took that for 3 years, and gabapentin for 2 years.  i went off the wellbutrin for a year, then went back on, which i regret once again. i took the wellbutrin for 9 months then stopped, again,to get pregnant at 150 mg. then went back on... at 8 weeks pregnant for about a month. then stopped. then started a drug called lamictal , i am now at 150 mg. i am just over all of this and wish to be drug free, but it seems impossible at this point and afraid ill never recover completely. i am afraid of experiencing anhedonia memory loss as i did before with the srris + wellbutrin. i have sever memroy loss. i feel like i cant even keep up with a conversation because my mind goes blank.. i have depersonalization now. i just dont want to accept this is the end, this is it,,. it can't be. but how is this any way to live?

 

how am i supposed to raise a child into this world.. it all seems unfair and i feel like an absolute idiot for getting pregnant, i thought it was meant to be at the time, but im second guessing it all now. im very afraid. do you think i could stop the lamictal and get back to my old self one day?

 

ive thought about natural holistic alternatives such as turmeric + lions mane, ginger + l theanine, magnesium, ashwaghanda rhodiola + brahmi + holy basil + cacao coffee, etc. and some work but i dont know if i should continue taking after the pregnancy and just rely on these.   i dont want to exist if this is truly how life is.. i wish i never took these awful drugs. i feel its the worst thing that i could have ever done, i want my old life back even if it was so painful. atleast then i still felt alive in a sense.  thank you all, i wish you all the best in your recorvery + healing journeys. 

Edited by manymoretodays
spacing only, for ease of reading

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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  • Altostrata changed the title to gigithemagiccat Anhedonia, memory loss, emptiness, no will to live and pregnant.
  • Administrator

Welcome, @gigithemagiccat

 

Being pregnant and alone could be a distressing situation for anyone. Is there a support group for expectant mothers in your area? I urge you to join it. You might find one on Meetup.

 

Which of your symptoms do you attribute to withdrawal?

 

What times of day (o'clock) do you take lamotrigine, with the dosages? How do you feel before and after each dose?

 

What effect did lamotrigine have on you when you started it?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator

Welcome from me too gigithemagiccat,

And thank you for giving a try at the signature.  It's very hard to read and refer to right now.

These are our guidelines for signatures:

How to List Drug History in Signature

just click on the underlined passage ^ and study the first post there

or:

or click on the arrow top right of the quote above.

 

Then follow the instructions there.   Best done from a PC.

 

You'll have to edit out the more lengthy one, so I'll preserve that for you here, for reference now:

 

 March 18, 2015:, Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.

discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg.

Withdrawal symptoms: Major Anhedonia,  severe memory loss, personality changes, hallucinations, paranoia, severe insomnia, crawling sensations, hearing voices, Social phobia, major anxiety and ptsd, crying spells, then complete numbness, suicidal ideations. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once, then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day. June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. Major depersonalization, anxiety and panic attack. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week while tapering off of it. I thought i succesfully tapered, but i began to feel strange after a couple months, and not like myself. i had bad memory loss, again.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day and decided not to take again. I realize it wasn't the correct and proper way to taper. I began having even worse memory loss, anhedonia, but i tried to brush it off and just deal with it and i was off of it for a whole year, struggling emotionally. i didn't have a sense of self anymore. i just existed. i isolated myself completely all that time, with the exception of my boyfriend visiting me, but felt i could not function properly. i tried several supplements, holistic herbs + medicine. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg in deep desperation to feel like myself again. it slightly worked for a while, then pooped out on me. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey. I thought it'd be a good idea, my boyfriend wanted a baby with me, and so did i at the time, i thought. I thought that was the best option to get off the meds for the baby. January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin once again at 150 mg,since i began to realize i was getting withdrawal symptoms, severe anhedonia once again, feeling empty and suicidal. some Herbal supplements caused a negative adverse reaction, and would make  me lash out and rage. they made me get back on the drug thinking it could help. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg to deal with the severe depersonalization i had been experiencing all these years, as i heard it coulp help. I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg, again. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. I plan on staying on this dose, for now i suppose. Even though i want to taper off completely. I don't know what i will do once baby is here in 3 weeks. If i should continue or tirate the dose or taper off. I feel empty and alone, i have memory issues, sometimes i can't remember the days or what happened the day before, or the years prior. it feels it's all been a huge blur. I truly hope and pray to fully recover and heal. 

 

Welcome again. This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your tapering, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

And all my best to you and your baby.  And I too, hope that you do get the time needed to fully recover and heal.  Sounds like it's been 5 years or so now, of trying to grow up, while feeling completely misunderstood. 

Hugs.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays

 

 

 
 

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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On 8/22/2021 at 1:26 PM, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @gigithemagiccat

 

Being pregnant and alone could be a distressing situation for anyone. Is there a support group for expectant mothers in your area? I urge you to join it. You might find one on Meetup.

 

Which of your symptoms do you attribute to withdrawal?

 

What times of day (o'clock) do you take lamotrigine, with the dosages? How do you feel before and after each dose?

 

What effect did lamotrigine have on you when you started it?

Hi thanks for your reply @Altostrata 

I will definitely check that out, i've never heard about that but seems it could be beneficial for me.

My main symptoms i believe that are still lingering would be Anhedonia, memory loss, inability to feel fully alive, i feel like i'm not really there, like im watching life from the outside looking in, I believe DP/DR symptoms. I would feel social anxiety, but at the same time i would feel vacant and empty and i struggle to find words or to form thoughts, and i feel very numb. like i can't connect.. i don't remember most of my life, memories, experiences. i forget everything. almost like there's nothing there. i think this stems from the srri's most definitely. as well as the wellbutrin, most likely.

i don't know about the gabapentin, it probably caused even more memory loss and detachment.

i have no idea if the lamictal is hindering my progress. i wouldn't doubt it though.

i heard it was good for DP/DR so i gave it a shot. 

 

i take the lamictal around 10 am - 1 pm. It is the 150mg dose. I feel kind of out of it, and my mind feels foggy.. i am afraid to get off of it and experience life without anything in fear of going back to feeling even worse, emotionally vacant and with an even more foggy mind. and anxiety. 

 

sometimes i'd feel OCD with this drug, and with the wellbutrin when i'd take it. 

i feel almost nothing most days. it feels like im in a limbo state of mind. 

 

When i started taking it, i felt anxious, i'd get crying spells but then feel nothing at all.

 

I'm very afraid of being this way for the rest of my life.

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

Link to comment
On 8/22/2021 at 1:26 PM, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @gigithemagiccat

 

Being pregnant and alone could be a distressing situation for anyone. Is there a support group for expectant mothers in your area? I urge you to join it. You might find one on Meetup.

 

Which of your symptoms do you attribute to withdrawal?

 

What times of day (o'clock) do you take lamotrigine, with the dosages? How do you feel before and after each dose?

 

What effect did lamotrigine have on you when you started it?

 

On 8/22/2021 at 1:56 PM, manymoretodays said:

Welcome from me too gigithemagiccat,

And thank you for giving a try at the signature.  It's very hard to read and refer to right now.

These are our guidelines for signatures:

How to List Drug History in Signature

just click on the underlined passage ^ and study the first post there

or:

or click on the arrow top right of the quote above.

 

Then follow the instructions there.   Best done from a PC.

 

You'll have to edit out the more lengthy one, so I'll preserve that for you here, for reference now:

 

 March 18, 2015:, Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.

discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg.

Withdrawal symptoms: Major Anhedonia,  severe memory loss, personality changes, hallucinations, paranoia, severe insomnia, crawling sensations, hearing voices, Social phobia, major anxiety and ptsd, crying spells, then complete numbness, suicidal ideations. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once, then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day. June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. Major depersonalization, anxiety and panic attack. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week while tapering off of it. I thought i succesfully tapered, but i began to feel strange after a couple months, and not like myself. i had bad memory loss, again.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day and decided not to take again. I realize it wasn't the correct and proper way to taper. I began having even worse memory loss, anhedonia, but i tried to brush it off and just deal with it and i was off of it for a whole year, struggling emotionally. i didn't have a sense of self anymore. i just existed. i isolated myself completely all that time, with the exception of my boyfriend visiting me, but felt i could not function properly. i tried several supplements, holistic herbs + medicine. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg in deep desperation to feel like myself again. it slightly worked for a while, then pooped out on me. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey. I thought it'd be a good idea, my boyfriend wanted a baby with me, and so did i at the time, i thought. I thought that was the best option to get off the meds for the baby. January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin once again at 150 mg,since i began to realize i was getting withdrawal symptoms, severe anhedonia once again, feeling empty and suicidal. some Herbal supplements caused a negative adverse reaction, and would make  me lash out and rage. they made me get back on the drug thinking it could help. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg to deal with the severe depersonalization i had been experiencing all these years, as i heard it coulp help. I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg, again. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. I plan on staying on this dose, for now i suppose. Even though i want to taper off completely. I don't know what i will do once baby is here in 3 weeks. If i should continue or tirate the dose or taper off. I feel empty and alone, i have memory issues, sometimes i can't remember the days or what happened the day before, or the years prior. it feels it's all been a huge blur. I truly hope and pray to fully recover and heal. 

 

Welcome again. This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your tapering, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

And all my best to you and your baby.  And I too, hope that you do get the time needed to fully recover and heal.  Sounds like it's been 5 years or so now, of trying to grow up, while feeling completely misunderstood. 

Hugs.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays

 

 

 
 

Hi! i tried fixing my signature, but it kept saying theres too many lines. i cut most of it out, hopefully it's a bit easier to read but i can't line them up properly i don't exactly know why.

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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  • Administrator

Your signature is much improved, thanks.

 

You may be taking too much lamotrigine. If I were you, I'd ask your doctor to prescribe it as 3 50mg tablets, to take 3 times a day. Lamotrigine is often prescribed like this. Then we can talk about how to taper it to a point you might feel better.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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30 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Your signature is much improved, thanks.

 

You may be taking too much lamotrigine. If I were you, I'd ask your doctor to prescribe it as 3 50mg tablets, to take 3 times a day. Lamotrigine is often prescribed like this. Then we can talk about how to taper it to a point you might feel better.

yeah i believe so, i am also experiencing hair loss .. have you ever taken this drug before? and if so did your symptoms subside, like loss of libido, hair loss and memory loss? i've been taking it for about 4 months now. i will try to ask my doctor, hopefully she will let me do that.

is it difficult to come off this drug?

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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  • Administrator

@gigithemagiccat do you think you need to take lamotrigine? In what ways does it benefit you?

 

Lamotrigine is in no way an antidepressant. You heard it was good for depersonalization or derealization. I do not know why someone told you that. Lamotrigine is an anti-seizure drug. It slows down nervous system activity. This type of drug very commonly causes people to feel dull and lifeless, which some people might call "depression". See adverse effects here.

 

Lamotrigine has been associated with hair loss https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20635823/

 

Very low doses of lamotrigine can assist in stabilizing psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome, which typically involves activation (nervousness, sleeplessness). Dampening nervous system action makes sense if the nervous system is over-reactive.

 

You are not taking a low dose of lamotrigine. 150mg may be taking too much lamotrigine for you, or you may be taking too much of it at one time and do better with split doses.

 

As this is a site for going off psychiatric drugs, please let us know if you decide to reduce any of your drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

@gigithemagiccat do you think you need to take lamotrigine? In what ways does it benefit you?

 

Lamotrigine is in no way an antidepressant. You heard it was good for depersonalization or derealization. I do not know why someone told you that. Lamotrigine is an anti-seizure drug. It slows down nervous system activity. This type of drug very commonly causes people to feel dull and lifeless, which some people might call "depression". See adverse effects here.

 

Lamotrigine has been associated with hair loss https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20635823/

 

Very low doses of lamotrigine can assist in stabilizing psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome, which typically involves activation (nervousness, sleeplessness). Dampening nervous system action makes sense if the nervous system is over-reactive.

 

You are not taking a low dose of lamotrigine. 150mg may be taking too much lamotrigine for you, or you may be taking too much of it at one time and do better with split doses.

 

As this is a site for going off psychiatric drugs, please let us know if you decide to reduce any of your drugs.

@Altostrata at this point it's like im just afraid of being off anything and i feel when i am, i experience those symptoms again, the dp/dr and emotional numbness/memory issues but then again, the lamictal doesn't really make it any better. thats the issue with these drugs, is that you feel you can't live with them but seems you can't live without them. it is frustrating. the lamictal seemed to be working a little bit in regards to feeling surreal and out of touch with reality/ myself at the beginning. but now i realize it's not getting better. 

 

i had no idea that dose wasn't a low dose, from hearing others take such huge amounts of it. you're probably right. i will try splitting them. i was tempted to just go back down to 100mg but maybe isn't a good idea.

 

do you suggest any good supplements to take when coming off this drug? im currently taking l - theanine + cod liver oil, beef liver capsules and a prenatal. 

 

i really hope the memory issues subside. im scared taking more drugs mightve interrupted the healing from the srri's i took 6 years ago. i wish i could've just endured it even though it was hell on earth

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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Hello, iknow it's tough.

 

 don't lay it off on you, that this is you. those feeling you have are related it to the drugs so just say they are the long lasting effect of these drugs. Slowy you will become your own self again. If you just laugh at it, which is hard in the beginning but eventually you can. The nerve system is in havoc thanks to these pills, and you are fixing it. On this forum there is a topic about windows and waves. Which helped me to snap out of these bad moments.

 

The hairloss could be 2 thinks, or extreme stress, which is bad for pregnant woman.

Or vitamine deficient.Try to eat very healthy, it could boost recovery alot. Eating less carbs helps too, my diet mainly focuses around dairy, meat and vegis. Carbs are low on nutritions which your body now needs for recovery.

  Don't go straight to you having alot of mental problems, because there is a body & mind connection. Especially after these pills it's important, body aches in withdrawaling can feel like mental and the other way around.

 

 

Even when you are off these pills you are still withdrawaling, which i had to deal to with DP and DR and brainfog numb feeling.

I could not drink coffee,Caffeine,Certain suplements. (so avoid those at best).

Alot on this forum cannot drink coffee.

Try to use real suplements: like vitamine b12, omega 3, magnesium(First talk to your doctor before taking these). Maybe buy flouride free tooth paste, flouride water filter. It did work with me, because i noticed if one sip coffee could ruin my day. that means i'm also sensetive to chemicals in food.

 

Do you like reading?

I could recommend a few books that maybe could help you cope with hard times.

 

Marcus Aurelius meditations, and hand book of a stoic. It has all these floating quotes about live, especially for hard times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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@gigithemagiccat

 

Trust me everything will fall into place, We are all going to make it. It's going to get much better all from here.

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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On 8/20/2021 at 3:38 PM, gigithemagiccat said:

 

 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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15 hours ago, Heinz1903 said:

Hello, iknow it's tough.

 

 don't lay it off on you, that this is you. those feeling you have are related it to the drugs so just say they are the long lasting effect of these drugs. Slowy you will become your own self again. If you just laugh at it, which is hard in the beginning but eventually you can. The nerve system is in havoc thanks to these pills, and you are fixing it. On this forum there is a topic about windows and waves. Which helped me to snap out of these bad moments.

 

The hairloss could be 2 thinks, or extreme stress, which is bad for pregnant woman.

Or vitamine deficient.Try to eat very healthy, it could boost recovery alot. Eating less carbs helps too, my diet mainly focuses around dairy, meat and vegis. Carbs are low on nutritions which your body now needs for recovery.

  Don't go straight to you having alot of mental problems, because there is a body & mind connection. Especially after these pills it's important, body aches in withdrawaling can feel like mental and the other way around.

 

 

Even when you are off these pills you are still withdrawaling, which i had to deal to with DP and DR and brainfog numb feeling.

I could not drink coffee,Caffeine,Certain suplements. (so avoid those at best).

Alot on this forum cannot drink coffee.

Try to use real suplements: like vitamine b12, omega 3, magnesium(First talk to your doctor before taking these). Maybe buy flouride free tooth paste, flouride water filter. It did work with me, because i noticed if one sip coffee could ruin my day. that means i'm also sensetive to chemicals in food.

 

Do you like reading?

I could recommend a few books that maybe could help you cope with hard times.

 

Marcus Aurelius meditations, and hand book of a stoic. It has all these floating quotes about live, especially for hard times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello, @Heinz1903

 this truly means everything, thank you for your reassurance. It's hard dealing with this mental/emotional pain when nobody around you seems to understand or notice or care even. it's truly an isolating experience. it makes me wonder why any of this is happening and if there's a reason for it at all.. its hard to see the light. especially when i took these at such a young and vulnerable age, 16 years old.

but  you are right, we shouldn't allow this to define us or our own emotions or feelings and who we are as human beings, it's so hard not to though. i would keep beating myself up over it and regretting and blaming myself for taking these poisons. i wish i could take it all back. at least we know now, and we are trying to repair the damage they have caused us..

 

it's nice to not feel so alone. im very grateful for your message and this site. 

how long have you been in withdrawal, and are you trying to come off any drugs currently?  which ones have you taken in the past? have you seen any improvement in your symptoms, like memory loss/numbness?

 

yeah i think it is both things actually, the drugs and stress. especially being pregnant. hopefully it gets better when baby is here.

im very into nutrition myself, and follow a Paleo diet, i have been for almost 2 years now.  a lot of meat, dairy, eggs, fruit. etc.

i will continue taking the supplements you mentioned.

you're right it is connected, i notice i am very sensitive to most things and it will affect me psychically in every way, 

thats why i don't even like taking any other drugs, ever. and try to always stay on the diet.

i have used a fluoride free toothpaste and use a shower filter too for about 3-4 years now so its interesting you say that!

 

somtimes i want to drink coffee just to not feel so damn out of it , with the memory issues and all, but it exacerbates my anxiety and makes me feel a bit dissociated, with dp/dr so i avoid it now.

i don't think it goes well with taking pills.

 

i will definitely check that book out! thanks for all the great recommendations.

 

 

you are very very brave and i love your perspective on all of this

 

i wish you the best in everything too, don't ever give up. 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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  • Mentor

@gigithemagiccat  Hi, welcome to SA.  I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time.  

A lot of things you are going through are really scary.  Remember you are not alone.❤️

 

I do think that some of your hair loss is from the Lamictal. It is a side affect. I was on 200mg of Lamictal for about 4 years. The Lamictal flattened me.  When I was on 200mg of Lamictal I was losing my memory.  I had a real hard time doing paper work that had anything  to do with numbers.  It was a problem at work.  My brain felt slow.  It was hard for me to think a  thought all the way though.  My mind would not go there, it was like my thought hit a brick wall.  I had a hard time thinking of words.  Since I dropped down to 37.5mg. Sometimes when I would taper down, within 24 hours. I would feel a loosening feeling in the front of my brain.  Like a knot loosening.  I noticed a big difference at work,  I can do paper work(math)again.   It's kind of funny but sad,, I would noticed that my husband had something new and I would ask him about it and he said you were with me when I bought it.

 

Post here often.

Reach out to other members, we are all in the same boat trying to make it through this maze we call WD.  

 

You will heal, one day at a time..❤️

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 300 to 400mg a day 

Lexapro   Sept/01/2021  4.90mg  Sept/25  4.75mg   Oct/19 4.69mg  Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg  2/24  3.8mg   3/21 3.4mg  5/2 3mg  6/1  decreasing by 0.02ml  daily  to 2.70 mg  7/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to  2.5 mg 8/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to 2.3mg

Lamictal 25mg

 

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29 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@gigithemagiccat  Hi, welcome to SA.  I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time.  

A lot of things you are going through are really scary.  Remember you are not alone.❤️

 

I do think that some of your hair loss is from the Lamictal. It is a side affect. I was on 200mg of Lamictal for about 4 years. The Lamictal flattened me.  When I was on 200mg of Lamictal I was losing my memory.  I had a real hard time doing paper work that had anything  to do with numbers.  It was a problem at work.  My brain felt slow.  It was hard for me to think a  thought all the way though.  My mind would not go there, it was like my thought hit a brick wall.  I had a hard time thinking of words.  Since I dropped down to 37.5mg. Sometimes when I would taper down, within 24 hours. I would feel a loosening feeling in the front of my brain.  Like a knot loosening.  I noticed a big difference at work,  I can do paper work(math)again.   It's kind of funny but sad,, I would noticed that my husband had something new and I would ask him about it and he said you were with me when I bought it.

 

Post here often.

Reach out to other members, we are all in the same boat trying to make it through this maze we call WD.  

 

You will heal, one day at a time..❤️

 

 

 

Hi thank you very much. ❤️ it means a lot.  it's good to know others are experiencing and going through similar battles, we are not alone after all even if it feels that way most of the time.

 

yeah i believe so, did you experience hair loss as well around that dose? i had no idea 150-200 mg was such a high dose. im desperate to get off of it completely but im also terrified i dont know if the depersonalization, memory issues and anhedonia will get even worse. have you experienced an increase or decrease of those symptoms when lowering to that dose? 

 

that is exactly what i am feeling actually. like i could be thinking of something then my mind becomes foggy and i can't really think, like im not really there.

 i even forget what i did the day before and on the same day as well. it is depressing not knowing what is going on and not being able to look back on most recent or past memories.

it feels like you have missed out on your own life.

 

i am very glad to hear your memory has gotten much better, that makes me feel much more at ease. 

 

have you been on any other drugs and what were your symptoms like when withdrawing? have those gone away as well?

i will definitely. thank you so so much for your words and encouragment ❤️ i wish you all the best

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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22 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

the dp/dr and emotional numbness/memory issues

 

16 minutes ago, gigithemagiccat said:

im desperate to get off of it completely but im also terrified i dont know if the depersonalization, memory issues and anhedonia will get even worse.

 

You have these symptoms currently, do you not? From what you've said, the lamotrigine isn't helping.

 

Pregnancy also brings cog fog and fatigue to many women. Please find a support group as soon as possible, it sounds like you're blaming yourself for some aspects of pregnancy that are normal, and being isolated is making you feel even worse.

 

Do you mean you're going to try taking lamotrigine in 3 doses per day of 50mg each? What time of day do you take 150mg? Please let us know when you have the 50mg tablets, we can advise you about how to switch gradually to a schedule of spaced lamotrigine doses.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Mentor
16 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

 did you experience hair loss as well around that dose? i had no idea 150-200 mg was such a high dose.

I think I was losing hair all over my  body, legs, arm pits, I just thought it was because I was getting old.  I did notice hair in the comb but I have such a thick mop of hair that I can't say for sure how much I lost.

 

 

 

 

16 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

have you been on any other drugs and what were your symptoms like when withdrawing? have those gone away as well?

If you click on the link in my drug history box it will bring you to my thread.  You will see that I have been on or tried many drugs in the last 25 years😥  I am still in withdrawal.  Long story, if your interested you can read my thread.  I have some information posted on their about Lamictal.  I am still on 37.5mg of Lamictal, 5mg Lexapro, 25mg Trazadone, and a very small amount off Xanax.  I am waiting to stabilize and then I will start my Lexapro taper.

 

From what I am learning here I am hoping that I can be med free someday ☺️

I have a long road ahead of me but I wasn't doing good on the drugs, so I am leaning on the side that they were not doing me any good and that they could have been causing problems because I was slowly getting withdrawn from people, irritable, blunting with the lamictal and /or prozac, I just didn't feel good and no motivation to do anything.

 

16 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

im desperate to get off of it completely but im also terrified i dont know if the depersonalization, memory issues and anhedonia will get even worse.

I am not sure how to answer this.  It could go either way or just stay the same..  I do know that I could concentrate better at work last spring and I don't seem to lose my car in the parking lot as much.   I am waiting to see how much body hair grows back. So I guess somethings have gotten better.  I still have d/p but seems to be getting better. Comes and goes,  it all goes with WD.  What ever you do, don't let anyone poly drug you.  It is easy to do when you are desperate. Take this for this and take this for that bluh,bluh, bluh.  Before you know it you are poly drugged.

 

Hang in there and know that you are never alone.❤️

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 300 to 400mg a day 

Lexapro   Sept/01/2021  4.90mg  Sept/25  4.75mg   Oct/19 4.69mg  Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg  2/24  3.8mg   3/21 3.4mg  5/2 3mg  6/1  decreasing by 0.02ml  daily  to 2.70 mg  7/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to  2.5 mg 8/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to 2.3mg

Lamictal 25mg

 

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On 8/24/2021 at 7:04 PM, Altostrata said:

 

 

You have these symptoms currently, do you not? From what you've said, the lamotrigine isn't helping.

 

Pregnancy also brings cog fog and fatigue to many women. Please find a support group as soon as possible, it sounds like you're blaming yourself for some aspects of pregnancy that are normal, and being isolated is making you feel even worse.

 

Do you mean you're going to try taking lamotrigine in 3 doses per day of 50mg each? What time of day do you take 150mg? Please let us know when you have the 50mg tablets, we can advise you about how to switch gradually to a schedule of spaced lamotrigine doses.

yes i currently am experiencing those symptoms, but then again i also experienced them on wellbutrin/when i cold turkeyd wellbutrin which i shouldn't have done.

i've heard of others stopping wellbutrin with no issues so i don't know why i did have the dp/dr, memory loss, etc. i don't know if the gabapentin caused it more than the wellbutrin ever did. even though i tapered gabapentin.  it makes me feel the srri withdrawal symptoms are still there after 6 years, but im not too sure.

 

i don't know if the lamictal is making anything better or worse, it's kinda confusing and hard to explain.

i think my main concern is the severe memory issues. i hope they resolve on their own when stopping it or splitting the doses.

 

yes i will call my doctor and ask her to split them in those 3 doses, i think that should help. 

i take the lamictal around 10am-1pm.

thank you @Altostrata will let you guys know when i think or feel i am ready to taper off of it.

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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On 8/25/2021 at 11:32 AM, Greatful said:

I think I was losing hair all over my  body, legs, arm pits, I just thought it was because I was getting old.  I did notice hair in the comb but I have such a thick mop of hair that I can't say for sure how much I lost.

 

 

 

 

If you click on the link in my drug history box it will bring you to my thread.  You will see that I have been on or tried many drugs in the last 25 years😥  I am still in withdrawal.  Long story, if your interested you can read my thread.  I have some information posted on their about Lamictal.  I am still on 37.5mg of Lamictal, 5mg Lexapro, 25mg Trazadone, and a very small amount off Xanax.  I am waiting to stabilize and then I will start my Lexapro taper.

 

From what I am learning here I am hoping that I can be med free someday ☺️

I have a long road ahead of me but I wasn't doing good on the drugs, so I am leaning on the side that they were not doing me any good and that they could have been causing problems because I was slowly getting withdrawn from people, irritable, blunting with the lamictal and /or prozac, I just didn't feel good and no motivation to do anything.

 

I am not sure how to answer this.  It could go either way or just stay the same..  I do know that I could concentrate better at work last spring and I don't seem to lose my car in the parking lot as much.   I am waiting to see how much body hair grows back. So I guess somethings have gotten better.  I still have d/p but seems to be getting better. Comes and goes,  it all goes with WD.  What ever you do, don't let anyone poly drug you.  It is easy to do when you are desperate. Take this for this and take this for that bluh,bluh, bluh.  Before you know it you are poly drugged.

 

Hang in there and know that you are never alone.❤️

oh man thats touch. i don't know if im being paranoid or not but i notice my eyebrows slightly thinned a bit after starting but are starting to grow back, i really hope my hair grows more after the pregnancy too.

 

i will check that out in a bit right now. i am sorry you were one of the many victims , we do not deserve any of this bs... none of us do.

was it difficult to get off the lamictal? hopefully you are healing and are feeling much of the withdrawal symptoms anymore.

which would you say was the worst?

i think cold turkeying my srris was one of the worst things i could have done, as well as even taking them in the first place.

 

you are still feeling anhedonia from stopping the srri? how long has it been since then?

 

i am glad your dp/dr is slightly improving too. did it take long to taper all the way down to 37 mg of lamictal?

 

yeah it is difficult to not let yourself be "poly drugged" as we feel so desperate to feel better, and life seems unbearable.

but i wish for all of this to be worth it in the end. for it to count for something.

you're brave and strong to choose to be without these drugs and taper off.

 

you are never alone either, ❤️ thank you so much for everything.

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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19 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

i take the lamictal around 10am-1pm.

 

It is important that you take lamotrigine at the same times each day. Taking it irregularly could be causing some of your symptoms.

 

Look at your prescription. Are you taking lamotrigine XR or immediate-release?


dp/dr and emotional numbness are common adverse effects from psychiatric drugs. Memory issues are a common adverse effect from TOO MUCH lamotrigine. 

 

Does this get more intense at any particular times of day?

 

You can get these symptoms when you are taking the drugs or as a withdrawal effect when you go off the drugs. You may be mistaken that they are withdrawal symptoms. If they are withdrawal symptoms, less lamotrigine may help control them without whatever adverse effects it is causing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 8/27/2021 at 12:35 PM, Altostrata said:

 

It is important that you take lamotrigine at the same times each day. Taking it irregularly could be causing some of your symptoms.

 

Look at your prescription. Are you taking lamotrigine XR or immediate-release?


dp/dr and emotional numbness are common adverse effects from psychiatric drugs. Memory issues are a common adverse effect from TOO MUCH lamotrigine. 

 

Does this get more intense at any particular times of day?

 

You can get these symptoms when you are taking the drugs or as a withdrawal effect when you go off the drugs. You may be mistaken that they are withdrawal symptoms. If they are withdrawal symptoms, less lamotrigine may help control them without whatever adverse effects it is causing.

@Altostrata i will try that out and see if taking it that way helps my symptoms.

 

i believe it is the immediate release since it doesn't say it is the XR, and it is the generic kind.

 

i had heard being pregnant lowers the amount of lamotrigine you're taking, so hopefully it's not too much, but then again probably is.

 

i think right when i take it, and at the end of the day is when the symptoms come back. 

i had read you made a post about that, about lamictal helping post acute withdrawal symptoms by taking a very low dose of it. do you think taking 25mg would be better than 150mg?

 

i'm hoping it wouldn't hinder or delay my healing progress from withdrawal of srri's wellbutrin + gabapentin, 

do you think it would at all? 

 i took those years ago but most recent was wellbutrin 5 months ago or so.

 

did your memory come back after stopping this 8 years ago?  i think it is the worst symptom from this drug and all of the others.

 

 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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23 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

i think right when i take it, and at the end of the day is when the symptoms come back. 

 

What symptoms do you get when you take lamotrigine? What are the symptoms at the end of the day, what time o'clock do they occur?

 

23 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

i had read you made a post about that, about lamictal helping post acute withdrawal symptoms by taking a very low dose of it. do you think taking 25mg would be better than 150mg?

 

Correct, but since you're been taking more than 25mg for at least 3 months, you'd have to reduce it gradually to get back to 25mg.

 

Did your doctor order the 3 50mg tablets per day?

 

It's very important you take lamotrigine on a regular schedule. at the same times each day.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 8/31/2021 at 6:08 PM, Altostrata said:

 

What symptoms do you get when you take lamotrigine? What are the symptoms at the end of the day, what time o'clock do they occur?

 

 

Correct, but since you're been taking more than 25mg for at least 3 months, you'd have to reduce it gradually to get back to 25mg.

 

Did your doctor order the 3 50mg tablets per day?

 

It's very important you take lamotrigine on a regular schedule. at the same times each day.

@Altostrata i just feel disconnected and empty, like my brain becomes frozen and numb. i will cry then shut down completely. i still don't understand if this is from the lamictal or the other past drugs that i stopped.

i'm sure it's both. i am just so tired of depending on these drugs and i don't want to be on them as my baby will be born less than 2 weeks from now. 

 

at the end of the day that's when i notice the symptoms becoming worse. like i'm simply out of my mind and body, disconnected

 

i have my appointment in 2 days, that's when i'll make sure to ask her to split the doses.

how would you suggest tapering lamictal? going to 150mg to 100,  and so on?

did you get your memory back when getting off the lamictal?

what supplements did you take after?

 

thank you once again for the advice.

 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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11 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

i have my appointment in 2 days, that's when i'll make sure to ask her to split the doses.

 

Are you not able to phone her and request a change in your prescription?

 

My guess is that you will feel better taking lamotrigine in split doses, 3 times a day. After you stabilize, if I were you, I'd taper the middle dose down to 0 until you're taking 50mg twice a day, 12 hours apart, then taper those 2 doses.

 

You will have to take these doses on a regular schedule so we can see what they're doing.

 

Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 8/20/2021 at 5:38 PM, gigithemagiccat said:

i am 36 weeks pregnant and terrified of the near future and as i haven't really been able to fully enjoy my pregnancy. or most of my youth... i don't even know what i am thinking or doing. :( 

 

i feel really alone. the reason of going on these meds was from dealing with depression + anxiety most of my life, and bpd + ptsd from abusive narcissistic parents. i attempted suicide right before. took about 50 pills. i had a very dysfunctional family.

 

Hi Gigi.  I just wanted to reach out and let you know that my heart hurts for you, for the situation you are in.  I just want you to know that I, too, came from a very abusive narcissistic family.  I'm also dealing with ptsd as well as psych med withdrawal.  You have come to the right place as far as getting help for coming off the psych drugs.  Altostrata is one of the worlds leading experts in how to do this properly.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of doctors have no clue, and many people get messed up with going on and off these drugs.  

 

If I were you, I would find a support group for new mothers, or at least some people who can help you with the baby when he/she comes.  Do you know if it is a boy or girl?  When I was a new mother, the mother's group was a life saver, because I had no family support from my own extended family, and my son had health issues.  It really makes a world of difference.  Being a new mother is not easy, and having help at first is important.  Here are some links I found for new moms groups in your area: 

 

https://www.meetup.com/topics/moms/us/ca/anaheim/

 

http://www.ocmommies.com/page/new-mom-support

 

https://www.herobirthservices.com/blog/round-up-of-new-parent-support-groups-in-orange-county

 

I'm very proud of you for getting off the psych drugs, but I know it is very hard.  Is Lamictal the only one you are still on?  Although you feel empty and disconnected now, this feeling will gradually go away, and you will feel less empty, more present, and able to engage with life better.  It's all part of withdrawal, and a brain that is in disequilibrium from WD.  I hope you are able to talk to your doctor soon, and get things straightened out.  

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers.  

Edited by getofflex

Please do not tag me, unless it is an urgent question about tapering or reinstatement. 

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone on occasion, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, breakfast, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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@gigithemagiccatMy heart goes out to you for all you are suffering.  The hormone changes from pregnancy alone could make these thing even harder.  But no matter what your precious child is a gift.   I am so glad you found this site.   It was a literal answer to prayer for me.  I know you are going through a really hard time but even though it seems like it, this is not forever.  Your withdrawal symptoms have been experienced my the many people on here.  I know you checked the boxes on some of the ones I have had and have.  You will heal it just takes time.  And when you feel so bad you want it to happen right away.  You are not alone.  So many here including myself are here to support you and encourage you and so many that empathize and are facing or have faced the same thing.   And there are some that can guide you in your tapering and helping you with your dosage like Altostrata is doing.  Your body is working hard and giving life to a precious little one and healing from these drugs.  You will make it through.  There are so many success stories.  We just have to hang in there and not give up.  Please take care and congratulations on your sweet baby. 

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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8 hours ago, getofflex said:

Hi Gigi.  I just wanted to reach out and let you know that my heart hurts for you, for the situation you are in.  I just want you to know that I, too, came from a very abusive narcissistic family.  I'm also dealing with ptsd as well as psych med withdrawal.  You have come to the right place as far as getting help for coming off the psych drugs.  Altostrata is one of the worlds leading experts in how to do this properly.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of doctors have no clue, and many people get messed up with going on and off these drugs.  

 

If I were you, I would find a support group for new mothers, or at least some people who can help you with the baby when he/she comes.  Do you know if it is a boy or girl?  When I was a new mother, the mother's group was a life saver, because I had no family support from my own extended family, and my son had health issues.  It really makes a world of difference.  Being a new mother is not easy, and having help at first is important.  Here are some links I found for new moms groups in your area: 

 

https://www.meetup.com/topics/moms/us/ca/anaheim/

 

http://www.ocmommies.com/page/new-mom-support

 

https://www.herobirthservices.com/blog/round-up-of-new-parent-support-groups-in-orange-county

 

I'm very proud of you for getting off the psych drugs, but I know it is very hard.  Is Lamictal the only one you are still on?  Although you feel empty and disconnected now, this feeling will gradually go away, and you will feel less empty, more present, and able to engage with life better.  It's all part of withdrawal, and a brain that is in disequilibrium from WD.  I hope you are able to talk to your doctor soon, and get things straightened out.  

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers.  

@getofflexThank you for your kind and beautiful, thoughtful words. I feel for you as well nobody deserves to be going through this awful situation in life, as if we hadn't suffered enough with the abuse and ptsd from these people. it all just seems very unfair and cruel. most people will not understand this unless they go through it themselves, it's feels like it's really no way to live..i'm deeply sorry you are going through this, it seems the most humble and thoughtful sensitive people have to somehow deal with horrible things such as this. i will never fully understand why. but maybe there is a reason for all of this and we just have to keep going and moving forward to finding the light once again. 

 

i am very grateful to have found this site as well, it seems to have helped tons of people and make them feel not so alone and understood when nobody else does in their personal lives. i am hopeful you have a support system in your life too. 

 

how are you doing getting off these drugs? which ones have you taken and how long has it been? how are you currently feeling as of right now?

 

 

i will check out those sites, thank you so much ❤️ nope i don't have a clue whether they'll be boy/girl yet and im 39 wks now! 

i'm very nervous to see how it all turns out in the end.

that's wonderful those sites helped when you felt you had nowhere else to turn to.

 

at what age did you have your son? were you already on the drugs or coming off them? how old are you now?  and how are you feeling and holding up as a mother? does it get better?

 

yes lamictal is the only one im currently on, 150mg.

do you still feel this way after coming off? 

i am concerned as my memory is pretty awful and i feel dissociated like i just cant connect. i am truly hoping that's the case for me one day, and for all of us all that are struggling to keep going. i pray for us all, ❤️ 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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4 hours ago, Moonpie said:

@gigithemagiccatMy heart goes out to you for all you are suffering.  The hormone changes from pregnancy alone could make these thing even harder.  But no matter what your precious child is a gift.   I am so glad you found this site.   It was a literal answer to prayer for me.  I know you are going through a really hard time but even though it seems like it, this is not forever.  Your withdrawal symptoms have been experienced my the many people on here.  I know you checked the boxes on some of the ones I have had and have.  You will heal it just takes time.  And when you feel so bad you want it to happen right away.  You are not alone.  So many here including myself are here to support you and encourage you and so many that empathize and are facing or have faced the same thing.   And there are some that can guide you in your tapering and helping you with your dosage like Altostrata is doing.  Your body is working hard and giving life to a precious little one and healing from these drugs.  You will make it through.  There are so many success stories.  We just have to hang in there and not give up.  Please take care and congratulations on your sweet baby. 

@Moonpie Thank you, my heart goes out to you as well for anything you are going through and dealing with right now. i wish you all the best of luck with your withdrawal, or tapering or anything related to these drugs. i believe so, i'm trying not to be so hard on myself and tell myself that it's a combination of both things making me feel so disconnected and lost and empty and lost within myself.. my pregnancy has been very isolating as my boyfriend hasn't really been there for me emotionally and just hurts me every time. i thought it'd be different and now i'm just alone. it feels like it'll never be okay, and now i have to deal with withdrawal as well as taking care of a vulnerable tiny human, when i feel like i can't even take care of myself. but i will try and continue to push through..

 

i am hoping this is not the end and it won't last forever like you've said. maybe it'll take years and years but i hope in the end it's all worth it for us ❤️ 

how are your symptoms now? which meds did you take? are you still struggling the same or have your symptoms gotten better?

i am so grateful once again for all of you guys and being so knowledgable about these drugs unlike many..

 

it's good to not feel so alone or misunderstood.

that's how i'd want to see it as, to not be so hard on myself since i am giving life to another being. i truly believe they are gifts too. and that life will never be the same after this. 

 

what keeps me going is those success stories and it's mind blowing to me how the mind and body has the ability to heal, even when you think all hope is lost. ❤️

thank you again so very much, you don't know how much this means to me. i wish you everything good in your journey. 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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On 9/5/2021 at 12:00 PM, Altostrata said:

 

Are you not able to phone her and request a change in your prescription?

 

My guess is that you will feel better taking lamotrigine in split doses, 3 times a day. After you stabilize, if I were you, I'd taper the middle dose down to 0 until you're taking 50mg twice a day, 12 hours apart, then taper those 2 doses.

 

You will have to take these doses on a regular schedule so we can see what they're doing.

 

Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

@Altostratayes my appointment with her is tomorrow at 11:30 am,

i will ask her then. how long do you think i should stay on the 3 split doses before actually tapering down to that?

and how many hours in between should i take them?

 

i will try and do that, hopefully i notice some type of change in memory or how i feel. 

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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On 9/5/2021 at 12:00 PM, Altostrata said:

My guess is that you will feel better taking lamotrigine in split doses, 3 times a day. After you stabilize, if I were you, I'd taper the middle dose down to 0 until you're taking 50mg twice a day, 12 hours apart, then taper those 2 doses.

 

You will have to take these doses on a regular schedule so we can see what they're doing.

 

We don't know how long you will take split doses until we see the effect of the split doses.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to gigithemagiccat: Anhedonia, memory loss, emptiness, no will to live and pregnant.
5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

We don't know how long you will take split doses until we see the effect of the split doses.

i spoke with her today, unfortunately she didn't want to split the doses in fear of interrupting anything or "me getting worse" before and during the birth , and after.

since my due date is on the 16th. oh well.

i will try to hold on then, and then see if its possible.

 

you don't think it'd be a good idea to go straight down to 100mg? i have some 100mg pills, but then again i don't know if it'd be too abrupt.

 

March 18, 2015: Zoloft 25 - 50 mg.discontinued zoloft after a couple of months, started prozac 10mg - 20mg. January 1st, 2016: Cold turkeyd prozac 20mg. October 26, 2016: Wellbutrin SR, lowest dose, increased to Wellbutrin XL 150, then 300mg. November 1, 2016: Took Effexor, and Ambien once,then stopped completely. May 12, 2017: began taking Gabapentin, 100 mg - 300 mg 2-3 times a day. then lowered to only 300mg a day.

June 1st, 2017: Took prozac once in desperation to feel better. February 15, 2019: Went to hospital and asked for a tapering schedule for Gabapentin 300mg. Took low dose of Ativan for a week.September 1st, 2019: Started cutting Wellbutrin 150mg in half, until i stopped completely one day. June 30th, 2020: Began taking Wellbutrin 150mg - 300mg. December 16th, 2020: I went off Wellbutrin 150mg Cold turkey.

January 30th, 2021: I began Wellbutrin again at 150 mg. April 28th, 2021: I began taking Lamictal 25mg.I stopped the Wellbutrin 150mg. May 14, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 50mg. May 29, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 100mg. June 19, 2021: Upped Lamictal to 150mg. I have been on Lamictal 150mg since then. 

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On 9/7/2021 at 12:10 AM, gigithemagiccat said:

I am hoping this is not the end and it won't last forever like you've said. maybe it'll take years and years but i hope in the end it's all worth it for us

Hi @gigithemagiccat  It won't take forever.  It just feels that way when we are suffering so desperately.  It may take years and it may not.  This withdrawal does not seem to follow a script. If it did I would have written a shorter "Play" for it.  LOL

I was on Ativan, Lexapro and Buspar. I took them for 8 months and then began tapering the Ativan.  I was a mess trying to file the pills down then I prayed and the Lord led me to this site.  That was four years ago. I shudder to think where I would be without the help and support of this group.  I tapered the Ativan in 2 years.  I waited 3 months and began tapering the Lexapro. That took 2 years and 20 days.  Yes I counted!  I had a myriad of symptoms while tapering.  The hardest part came when I went off the Lexapro completely.  I have had dizziness, anxiety, panic, fear, depression, foggy thinking, tight chest, queasiness,  numbness and tingling in my arms and legs, anhedonia, difficulty sleeping and a few other physical ones that came and went that were so weird I know it was WD.  I just finished my 6th month completely off the med.  Things are slowly improving.  I still have anxiety, depression, tight chest.  I see the intensity lessening and have even had some days where I actually felt normal and my symptoms were in the background rumbling.  I have to really concentrate on reminding myself that these are just feelings, they are not forever, and I am going to be okay. Accepting the symptoms, just going through them and not fighting them or letting my thoughts go haywire has really helped in getting through.  I think one of the ways I know I have undermined myself is that instead of focusing on just getting through each moment , I try to fight it and make it go away.  That is like hitting at the air.  It doesn't yield any results other that more anxiety, panic, exhaustion and hopelessness because is not possible.  I will be praying for you.  Please keep giving updates.  I care about you as do many others there.  (((HUGS)))

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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  • Moderator
8 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

you don't think it'd be a good idea to go straight down to 100mg?

Oh no, please do not do that, especially now that you are about to have a baby.  You are likely to go into major WD, and you would have great difficulty caring for the new baby.  That would be a 33% decrease, and we at SA suggest that people taper by no more than 10% of their current dose.  If it were me, I would hold off on tapering at this time, since you are about to have the baby. 

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  This helps you understand why it is essential to taper so slowly.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

 Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we generally taper by 10% of the current dose no more than once every 4 weeks, so that the taper becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Tips for Tapering Lamictal

 

 

Also, as we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 


Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I'm sorry your doctor did not go along with Altostrata's advice to split the dose into 3 daily doses.  Could you possibly talk to her, and tell her about this site, and how it has helped many people to get off psych meds, and it is what the site owner suggested?  

 

On 8/24/2021 at 9:04 PM, Altostrata said:

Please find a support group as soon as possible, it sounds like you're blaming yourself for some aspects of pregnancy that are normal, and being isolated is making you feel even worse.

 

I agree with what altostrata suggested above.  You will need the support.  

 

 

 

Edited by getofflex

Please do not tag me, unless it is an urgent question about tapering or reinstatement. 

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone on occasion, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, breakfast, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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  • Moderator
On 9/6/2021 at 11:57 PM, gigithemagiccat said:

how are you doing getting off these drugs? which ones have you taken and how long has it been? how are you currently feeling as of right now?

 

I'm doing better now.  Before I found SA I did several fast tapers and reinstatements, and was in significant withdrawal.  I still have bad days, but I have a lot of OK and good days too.  I took Lexapro and Trazodone every day, and took Xanax on occasion for sleep.  Today is a bit rough as I had a chaotic night last night, lots of noise going on through the night with cats and my husband having a nightmare and shouting in his sleep.  

 

On 9/6/2021 at 11:57 PM, gigithemagiccat said:

at what age did you have your son? were you already on the drugs or coming off them? how old are you now?  and how are you feeling and holding up as a mother? does it get better?

I was 41, and he was my second child.  I got on the drugs when I was about 5 months pregnant.  I'm now 60.  My sons are both grown up.  They are both doing well. My younger son is still in college, but it's close by and he comes home lots of weekends, which is nice.  If you click on the link under my name on the left, you can read my intro post for more. 

 

On 9/6/2021 at 11:57 PM, gigithemagiccat said:

yes lamictal is the only one im currently on, 150mg.

do you still feel this way after coming off?

I believe that if you taper (in the future) the Lamictal as we suggest and no faster, you will gradually feel better and more connected.  Please don't rush, you don't want to go in major WD at this time.  We see people here who are very sick from WD, and you don't want to go there, especially now. 

 

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.  I'm praying for you everyday!  

Edited by getofflex

Please do not tag me, unless it is an urgent question about tapering or reinstatement. 

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg as needed

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

Trazodone on occasion, stopped in late 2019

Xanax on occasion, stopped in late 2019

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, breakfast, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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On 8/24/2021 at 12:39 AM, gigithemagiccat said:

 

My main symptoms i believe that are still lingering would be Anhedonia, memory loss, inability to feel fully alive, i feel like i'm not really there, like im watching life from the outside looking in, I believe DP/DR symptoms. I would feel social anxiety, but at the same time i would feel vacant and empty and i struggle to find words or to form thoughts, and i feel very numb. like i can't connect..

 

I'm very afraid of being this way for the rest of my life.

Hi @gigithemagiccatI just wanted you to know you weren't alone in feeling these symptoms, these are exactly the same symptoms as I'm feeling most of the time. From what everyone on here says, healing will happen eventually. You're not alone x

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD.

1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac. 2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019.

01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June.

25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp.
11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg.  

16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg.

2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 
28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg

Multiple unsuccessful previous attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; kliovance (HRT) Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, calcium, B12, vitD and vegan omega3. I use valerian and lemon balm tea for anxiety relief

Completely OFF booze (since 6/11/21) and caffeine (since July 21) now. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • Administrator
12 hours ago, gigithemagiccat said:

since my due date is on the 16th. oh well.

 

I had no idea you were due so soon.

 

Is this a psychiatrist you were talking to, @gigithemagiccat?

 

Do you see a line running down the middle of your lamotrigine tablet? The scoring means you can break it in half, if you want to divide your dose. You could take a sharp knife and cut a 150mg tablet in half. You could take one half (75mg) at 10 a.m. and the second half (75mg) at 11 a.m., then gradually move the second half later by one hour each day until you are taking it at 10 p.m.

 

This very gradual change should not cause any bad symptoms and may relieve some of the drug-induced symptoms you're feeling now. Please let us know how your symptom pattern changes while you do this (though your impending delivery may cause odd symptoms, too).

 

Make sure when you go to the hospital for your delivery that your doctors know you must keep taking lamotrigine on this schedule. Take your pills with you. Reducing the dosage can wait until after the baby is born.

 

It's essential you take lamotrigine at the same times each day, not an hour or 2 off-schedule sometimes. 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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